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As I flipped through my yearbook, I couldn’t help but wonder how Adachi was doing.
Neither of us had made an effort to stay in contact after we’d graduated and that made sense at the time. We hadn’t been the closest of friends, and even if we had been, I doubt I would’ve made any effort to stay in contact with her, just like with Hino and Nagafuji, or even Tarumi.
Yet every time I got to the page with her name and picture on it, I couldn’t help but regret not having tried.
“Adachi Sakura. Sakura Adachi.” I hadn’t spoken that name in years, the words felt foreign in my mouth almost as if I were trying to speak another language.
“Do you ever wonder how I’m doing while flipping through your yearbook too?” I asked her picture, as if she would answer back.
“Probably not. You didn’t seem like the type to buy a book full of people you didn’t care about. I doubt you even remember me.” The thought stung enough to make me clench my teeth.
“Dinner’s almost ready!” My sister called up the stairs.
“I’ll be down soon.” I had moved into the storage room upstairs after my sister claimed that she, “wanted more privacy!” and was, “old enough to have her own room now!”
I hadn’t felt like arguing with her at the time so we renovated the old room, it was smaller which meant it got hotter faster in the summertime but at least the air conditioner worked now.
Seven years had passed since I’d graduated and I still lived with my parents. Sure I had a job now, I helped pay bills, bought groceries and even paid taxes now too, but this was as far as I’d gotten in life.
“You're young! You’ve still got plenty of time to figure your life out!” My Grandma would tell me, but it’d already been more than half a decade and I hadn’t made any progress, nor was I even trying to make any.
Occasionally, I’d see social media posts where people my age were traveling to different countries, had their dream jobs or they were getting married and starting a family of their own. Even though I didn’t care much for that stuff, I still felt like I’d fallen behind.
And so, every now and then I’d get the motivation to improve and change myself but it never lasted. At least it never lasted long enough to make any major changes other than cutting and dying my hair.
Hence why I was still here. In the same house, with the same people, in the same bed, doing the same exact thing every single day. But, who else could I blame for this other than myself?
That night, as I laid in bed, I thought back to High School, more specifically the gym loft. I thought the summer heat and the sweat it brought with it, alongside the sticky floor, the sound of cicadas, and Adachi sending me to fetch her food. Unfortunately, those memories had blurred over the years and I couldn’t even remember the sound of her voice or her laughter anymore. Only her icy stare and name remained.
Do you remember too?