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“What? Come on, I thought today's adventure was fun!” you exclaimed with a giggle, strolling along the bedroom hallway with Zooble and Pomni. You stretched your arms out over your head, tired and beat from today's competitive adventure of what was basically a life sized game of Snakes And Ladders.
“Of course it was fun for you, you were the winner!” Pomni teased, gently nudging your shoulder, sharing a small laugh with you.
You always had good luck with board games somehow, so the remark just made your expression shift into a cheeky grin. “It’s not my fault you guys got skill issues,” you teased with a snicker as your group neared Zooble’s bedroom.
“The funniest bit is when Jax fell all the way down to like, the beginning of the game,” Zooble remarked, barking a laugh and earning a few chuckles from the others. They stopped near their bedroom and unlocked it. Being dragged into this adventure was pretty annoying for them at first, but it was obvious that that stunt made the entire thing worth it.
“Anyway, you guys need anything? I think I'm gonna call it a night,” they sighed, opening their bedroom door and turning back to the lot of you.
“I think we're good,” Pomni said, waving to your jumbled friend and letting them say their goodnights. “What about you, Y/N?” she asked, turning to you.
You shrugged, feeling a little mentally tired yourself. It's been long enough now that being here wasn't really as… Terrible. As it once was. Well, it still sucked, but at least your friends were fun and the adventures gave you all something to do.
“Yeah, I might call it a night as well,” you sighed, stretching again and scratching the back of your neck.
“Alright then,” Pomni answered sincerely, giving you a bright smile, turning to walk back to her own bedroom. “See ya in the morning, have a goodnight!”
“You too, try not to have any nightmares this time!” you teased, sharing one final laugh with Pomni before you both turned away.
You then turned around and continued the stroll towards your own room. Through your foggy mind, however, something was itching in the back of your subconscious about that entire interaction, and you couldn't figure out what it was. It felt like someone was missing, there's usually one more person hanging out with you guys…
Your eyes settled on Jax's bedroom door, and your lips parted in realization.
Jax!
You haven't seen him since the adventure ended and you guys got back. Where has he been this entire time?
You continued to stare at his door with wide eyes of realization. After a few moments of consideration, you shook your head and turned away. He probably just needed some space, you thought, continuing to walk towards your own bedroom just a door down across from Jax's.
You finally arrived and heaved a heavy sigh, ready to hit your mattress and pass the fuck out. Your hand gripped your doorknob once you got there, but you paused just before you had the chance to turn it.
For some reason, your gut just wouldn't allow you to let go of that feeling. The feeling that something may be wrong with Jax. He doesn't usually disappear like that. The gut feeling started to get worse the more you paid attention to it, so much so that you were almost about to be sick.
You pressed your eyes closed with an annoyed growl, resting your forehead tiredly on your bedroom door.
Okay, fine, you thought to yourself, heaving an exhausted sigh. You pulled yourself off of your bedroom door, making the trek back towards Jax's room. You told yourself; you'll go and knock on his door and see if he answers, and if he does, he's probably fine. Then you can go back and walk back to your bedroom to hit the hay and finally get some sleep.
Easy as pie.
You stood in front of Jax's door again, staring at the wooden image of him that hung at the top center. Letting out a soft sigh, you raised a fist, ready to knock. You then paused, however, when you heard some strange noises coming from inside his room.
What…?
You slowly leaned your ear in closer to the door, trying to hear whatever it is you heard more clearly. It almost sounded like sniffles, and soft cursing, but you didn't believe what you were hearing. That would imply that Jax is crying, and he never did that. He was probably incapable of it, did you ever see a tear even attempt to emerge from those eyes?
You made a face, then softened your expression. Still, the noises were worrying, because if Jax was crying then that was a sign that something was deeply wrong. With that thought, you felt a bit relieved in yourself that you turned back. Maybe it was just him shifting in bed, you thought, but you still wanted to do what you came here for.
Raising your knuckles again, you knocked once, then twice, then a third time for good measure.
The noises immediately stopped once you did so, and there was an uncomfortable few seconds of silence. The crack at the bottom of his door glowed a bit, so Jax was definitely awake and had some kind of lamp on, but for some reason he wasn't responding with a single sound.
You grumbled a few words under your breath. Then, hesitantly, you spoke out in a soft but audible voice.
“Jax? Are you in there?” you asked, wondering why you were doing this at all when you could be in bed in blissful ignorance. But something about what you heard made your heart ache a bit too much to ignore.
Again, he didn't say anything, much to your annoyance, but this time you heard some shifting as he seemed to sit up from his bed. The floor creaked underneath, making your skin bristle nervously. You heard footsteps approaching the door towards you.
There was an awkward pause that lasted a couple of seconds, before you heard the lock being fiddled with and the doorknob clicking as it turned. You stepped back to give him some space so he wouldn't be greeted with your face right up to his.
As you expected, the door swung towards the inside, and the lavender bunny rabbit stood at the other side. He stared down at you with a neutral, albeit somewhat annoyed, expression. His black, reflective pupils observed your form in front of him, darting back and forth to examine your features. They were small and sharp, but they seemed to dilate a bit after he fully processed who decided to interrupt whatever it was that he was doing.
“What do you want?” Jax grunted in a low, irritated voice. He lifted a hand to scratch his cheek, but you could tell he was trying to cover up the fact he was wiping some dampness off his fur.
“Nothing, I just wanted to check up on you and see if you were okay,” you replied truthfully, frowning worriedly at his unusual state. This was very different from the hyper and cheeky Jax you normally knew.
Jax rolled his eyes as if you had just said the dumbest thing in the world, bearing his teeth annoyedly. “Yeah, whatever. I'm fine. You can go to bed,” he grunted, pushing the door to close it again.
“Wait—”
You put a hand on the door and pushed it a bit, then lightened your pressure when you realized what you were doing. You didn't know what compelled you to make that sudden move, but you weren't ready to let him just leave yet.
Jax didn't force it, but he did stare at you with an even more annoyed face, almost as if you were the one acting ridiculously.
“What? What's your problem?” he growled, opening the door to its limited state again after you pushed it, almost making you stumble when you lost your balance. He made an annoyed gesture with his free hand. “Can't a guy get some rest without it bein a big deal?”
“I-I um,” you stammered, trying to think of a good excuse. A sigh escaped your chest when you couldn't think of anything, and you began to rub your arm nervously. Your eyes appeared almost upset now as you shifted your worried gaze back up at him. “Please, can we just… Talk? I-I… I'm not feeling very well right now and you're the only one awake.”
That was a blatant lie and Jax could see through it as well as anybody. Gangle was definitely still up drawing, Pomni was up reading, and Ragatha was probably cleaning her room.
However, his expression still softened a bit with the look in your eyes that you gave him. He heaved a heavy sigh out of his chest, rolling his eyes. Whatever.
“Fine.”
He opened the door a little more to give you enough space to enter.
That did manage to make you smile a bit, and you entered his bedroom. On his walls hung various paraphernalia that you began to recognize as things from previous adventures and such. It included a purple striped key, a golden key, a few drawings Gangle made, and on the shelf was a blue marbled bowling ball.
That's cute of him, you thought to yourself, smiling a bit more brightly as you observed his little collection of things from adventures and friends over the years.
You heard Jax lock the door behind you, and it made you flinch a bit, which he noticed.
“I'm not going to cook you for dinner, relax,” he chuckled a bit, but the smile didn't meet his eyes. “You’re the one who wanted to come in here, anyway.”
“Y-Yeah, sorry, I got startled,” you stammered, shaking your head dismissively and scratching your cheek.
Jax walked back to his bed and sat down, pressing his back to the head of the bed as his legs sprawled in front of him and crossed themselves at his ankles. He crossed his arms, rubbing his thin bicep with a hesitant finger. His eyes darted to you, and he watched closely as you walked up to him.
You sat on his bed as well, since there was practically nowhere else to sit, and shifted in the same position, your hands in your lap. Jax looked down at you, and you returned the eye contact with a soft smile.
He scoffed a bit and rolled his eyes, breaking eye contact.
“So what is it that's bothering you, anyway?” he asked, staring off to the side and fiddling with the strap of his overalls. “It must be pretty important if it's enough for you to come and make it my problem, too.”
You managed to snort a bit out of your nose, but it wasn't a real laugh, as now you realized that it was probably easier to crack open a coconut than it was to peel away Jax’s hundreds of layers and walls that he put up. But either way, you tried, not wanting to waste any of your limited time with him.
“Um…” you started, unsure of how to explain, so you opted to tell the truth. “I… Well, after we came back from our adventure, I noticed that you've been missing all day. You usually don't do that and, I-I was gonna go to bed and ignore it but something told me I shouldn't… Y'know…?”
Jax didn't say anything, and his position didn't change either. The only thing that happened was just his pupils darting away to stare at something else.
You sighed a bit when he didn't react right away. “I'm sorry if this is stupid. I'm just worried about you. You've been acting… off. I just wanted to check up on you and see if you were okay.”
Jax's ear twitched with that statement, and he shifted uncomfortably. His eyes narrowed, distrustful of your intentions. Nobody had ever said anything like that to him before. Not even Ragatha. The idea that you cared enough to sacrifice some sleep to come check on him was a bewildering concept.
Jax seemed to have wanted to say something in response, but the words weighed like iron down low in his chest. He swallowed back in hopes that would dislodge them, curling his knee up a bit and rubbing his leg with his foot.
“...Why?” he finally asked, his tone genuine and uncharacteristically soft. Jax extended his leg out again, but seemed unusually antsy now.
Your lips curled as they parted, and you were a little confused at his question. “Um… Wh…What do you mean why?”
“Exactly what I meant,” Jax answered with a more firm tone, his arms dropping to his lap. He gestured as he spoke, looking back at you. “Why do you care? Why not just… Go back to your room?”
You narrowed your eyes, shaking your head in almost disbelief. What did he mean by that? Didn't he consider you guys close at all…?
“Because… You're my friend,” you murmured, sounding mildly troubled at his attitude. You leaned forwards a little and tilted your head to look at his face more directly. “I care about you.”
Jax let out a loud scoff, a sarcastic grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He then turned to look back at you, analyzing your genuine expression.
…You weren't joking.
His smile fell.
This conversation was trudging into untouched territory now. Jax narrowed his eyes at you, his expression equally as puzzled as yours, as if you had just told him something completely and wildly bizarre and off topic.
His pitch black pupils darted back and forth, examining your expression as if trying to find some kind of hidden clue. Something to tell him you were being sarcastic or deceitful. He narrowed his eyes ever so slightly when he couldn't find anything, his pupils tightening and exposing more of the yellow sclera.
“That sounds dumb,” Jax retorted, twisting his mouth into a frown that just barely showed his teeth still.
You stared back at him with furrowed eyebrows, flinching back a little at how bluntly he rejected your kindness. “Dumb?” you inquired with a slightly offended ring to your voice, cocking an eyebrow.
“Yeah.”
“Did you seriously—”
“Ooo, la-dee-da. Look at you being all wholesome and cute,” Jax scoffed at your naive words, breaking eye contact with you to roll his eyes. “What do you want, a medal of honour that says I have basic human decency?” He crossed his arms and leaned back against the headboard again.
You scowled and shifted your position to face him more directly.
“Well excuse me, officer,” you scolded, irate that he was being so bitchy over a simple act of kindness. “Sorry for not wanting you to abstract or do something stupid,” you continued with an annoyed scoff, “You're the one making a big deal out of this when all you had to do is say that you wanted to be alone.”
Jax didn't verbally respond to you this time, letting out a stubborn huff as his reply instead.
See, that was the entire problem. Jax didn't want to be alone. He wanted you to stay, but in some sick twist of the universe, his brain just wouldn't let him express that gratitude. All he could really do was sit there all grumpy and pouty, like a kid who's just been told they've had enough candy and can't have any more.
“So you're just going to sit and pout like a toddler?” you prompted further, leaning further forward to look at his eyes as they tried their best not to face you. Your expression softened, and you began to find some humor in his stubbornness.
“Awwe. Is da baby bunny wabbit angy?” you taunted with a snicker, grinning when his expression shifted angrily and he gave you a deadly side eye. You continued, “Is he afwaid of his big scawy feewings? D’aww, poor baby.”
“Knock it off, will ya?” Jax finally retorted, looking back at you with an annoyed expression that clearly communicated to you his issue with being spoken to in baby talk. “Do I look like some kinda kid to you?”
You shot him a smirk that he didn't seem to appreciate.
Maybe.
Jax grimaced at your nonchalance, crossing his arms again and leaning against the headboard, continuing to glare at you. What the hell was your problem?
“You can always just admit that you want me to leave you alone, Jax,” you chuckled, lidding your eyes in amusement at his frustration. “Or is it that you don't want me to leave and you're just too proud to admit it?”
Jax's expression seemed to soften when you said that, but he went straight back to his pout, crossing his arms and looking away again. “Shut up.”
Your expression fell back into a vexed frown. You were starting to get a little exasperated here with this nonsense back and forth. If he was just going to sit here all grumpy then what were you doing here wasting your time?
You heaved a sigh and, with an annoyed grunt, got up off his bed. You marched towards the bedroom door and placed your hand on the doorknob, ready to just leave him alone. Just as he wanted, apparently.
Jax's eyes widened in alarm when you suddenly got off the bed, and he uncrossed his arms to swing his legs over the edge of his bed.
“W-Wait,” he choked out, then paused as your eyes turned to meet his. He wasn't expecting you to actually leave, and seeing your genuinely flustered expression made him shrink back in on himself.
“Wait, what? Huh?” you snapped, turning around and making a frustrated gesture with your arm. Your eyes glared sharply at him, making him flinch back, and you scoffed at his reaction. “You wanna sit here and throw your stupid tantrum? Be my guest! But I'm not wasting my damn time. If you don't wanna talk or let me help or do anything, then I'm gonna go to bed and get some sleep. Capische?”
Your voice cut through the air like a harsh smack to the face, leaving a sharp tension hanging in the atmosphere. Jax shamefully sunk into himself. His gaze avoided your harsh glare, and his head guiltily buried itself between his shoulders. He began to fidget with his gloves.
Upon that sight, your expression softened, and guilt slowly began to creep up your chest.
He looked like a kid who's just been scolded by their parents.
A pause stretched itself between you two as you observed his sudden timid behaviour. You pursed your lips, inhaling, then sighing through your nose. You began to speak with a much softer, but no less exhausted voice.
“Look, Jax…” You started, sighing again and trying to gather the words in your head. You lifted a hand to press against your chest and looked back up at him. “Listen… I want to help you. I really do, trust me. But I can't do that if you don't give me something to work with.”
Jax refused to look at you, feeling his eyes threaten to start tearing up. His chest felt tense and heavy, and he slowly curled his arms around himself. He wanted to speak up, throw a snarky quip or a witty remark back at you. But whatever you did seemed to trigger a really uncomfortable memory, that made him instantly regress back into those moments his mother would scream at him for a genuine accident on his part.
“I'm sorry,” he finally whimpered with a small, pathetic voice. “I didn't mean it…”
Something in your chest broke upon hearing his voice tremble as he apologized. This wasn't what you wanted. This was not the reaction you were expecting from the guy who always had something to say. But Jax looked so completely different here that you could swear someone replaced him with an exact copy of himself.
“No, no, Jax,” you spoke up, locking the bedroom door again and approaching him. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I lost my cool back there and it wasn't right of me to do that—”
“No!” Jax immediately snapped back, his voice more defensive and scared now even though he was trying to push you away. He seemed to have come to his senses again, his face sporting the same bitter expression it did earlier. Except now his eyes were visibly glimmering, something you were able to catch as much as he was trying to turn his face away from yours.
“Get out! Go back to your room, stop doing this @#$& and worrying about me like I'm some child you have to care for!”
Jax threw himself back on his bed and curled up in a fetal position, unable to keep up the nonchalant facade. He faced away from you, trembling and unable to calm down enough to make any rational decisions. The tears that were brimming his eyes finally spilled over and stained the short fur on his cheeks. He reached an arm to wipe them away, unable to stop himself from hiccuping pathetically.
You just stared in shock, the guilt weighing in your chest like an anchor at this point. This wasn't even the first time you snapped at him, you yelled at him all the time when he pushed your buttons and he always laughed in amusement when you did.
His reaction now was so out of left field that you couldn't even process what he told you. You just stood there with your lips parted, your hand itching to reach out for him. But instead, all you could do was lift it, and hang it on your other arm.
Jax began to audibly sniffle and hold back his urge to cry as best as he could, and that snapped you out of your shocked state.
You were brought into a much darker one when you realized you did pretty much the exact opposite of what you wanted to do when you first came here. The somber guilt weighed over you like a dark cloud, and you looked down at the floor, dejectedly rubbing your arm.
You can't just leave him there. You had to make things right.
“I'm sorry, Jax,” you murmured again, clenching your fists and lifting your hands again. Your voice lacked its bite from before. “I didn't mean to trigger you this bad… I… I didn't know…”
Your chest felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, and retrieving the words you needed to say was like trying to lift an iron bar.
Jax didn't turn to face you. He was too busy trying to keep the sobs down in his chest to care about what you were saying to him. He didn't understand why you were apologizing. Nobody apologized to him. Nobody apologized to Jax, of all people.
He grumbled weakly, failing to keep the tremble from his voice. “Whatever. I don't care. Go away…”
A pang of guilt rang in your chest at his rejection, and you flinched back a bit.
Still, you slowly approached him, determined to right your wrongs and erase yourself as a threat to his mind. Slowly but carefully, you placed a leg on his bed, then another, and sat yourself down next to his curled up form.
Jax didn't say anything else, nor try to shove you away. You didn't know how to interpret that sign, but hopefully it meant something other than him further rejecting you.
You sat there for a moment, then hesitantly reached your hand out and timidly placed it on his shoulder. He flinched, which made you flinch as well, but when he didn't fight against the touch, you gently began to rub his shoulder.
A million thoughts swirled in Jax's mind, namely terrible memories he would rather keep buried deep in his subconscious. Jax was frustrated you were still here, being so kind and caring to him. It was disgusting, nobody did that. Nobody was supposed to.
You're not supposed to care. This isn't how this entire thing is supposed to go. Why are you still here… Go… Go back to your bedroom…
Something about your hand tenderly caressing his shoulder made his defenses shatter completely like glass. He let out a pathetic sob, covering his eyes with his arm again and clenching his teeth stubbornly. He pressed his eyes closed as his chest tightened, he couldn't help but whimper involuntarily. His body began to tremble, which he knew certainly wasn't helping his case in getting you out of here.
But despite the mental turmoil, Jax knew he couldn't be alone this time. Not when you've shown him the kind of grace he had never felt. He knew he'd miss it the second you left. And instead of being able to isolate in ignorant bliss of what gentleness looks like, he'd have to truly face what he could’ve had if he wasn't so adamant on keeping people at an arm's length away.
You observed the conflict that troubled Jax's head through his actions, and it made you relieved you stayed, but equally fascinated at this weird side of him you were finally observing. Jax, the asshole of the circus, the resident jerk of the year, couldn't even look back at you without breaking into tears.
And it was a weird, almost alien moment...
He looked so human here.
For the first time in what might've possibly been since you got here, you finally saw the teenager that got himself trapped in the digital circus, the poor soul that was caged in here just like the rest of you. The Jax that lay before you wasn't the self-centered and witty caricature of a sadistic rabbit he constantly played, but a young man just as terrified, confused, and exasperated as the rest of you were. And honestly, this... softness that he showed... It made you gravitate towards him a little bit more. To see what he was really like when he wasn't trying to act like something he's not.
Your hand continued to caress his shoulder as he fought back tears, allowing him to take the time he needed. Then, finally, you spoke up timidly, leaning in to try and observe his expression.
“...Jax?”
“What. What is it,” he growled, uselessly trying to keep up his defenses even through this trembling voice. He lowered his arm from his eyes and curled it close to his chest, but turned his face away when he felt your presence loom over him.
“... I was just wondering if… You wanted a hug,” you offered, your voice a low murmur in an effort to seem non-threatening.
Jax said absolutely nothing, stubbornly going quiet, but also because he was afraid he'd break in sobs if he spoke again. What the hell did you just say to him? He continued to stare at his bedsheets, his expression contorted to one of genuine bewilderment. But then…
…
He wanted a hug.
He wanted one very badly.
But his brain just refused to let him admit it.
Jax didn't want to push you away again, so silence seemed like the best answer. He hoped that maybe you'd catch his drift but at the same time, he was also hoping you'd just scram so he could forget about being cared for entirely.
You frowned, a little annoyed at his constant quiet game. This was starting to get old, and you realized now that it was important for you to be firm with your words with him, or else he'd twist them to make an excuse about why you should leave or stop caring or whatever. But you were careful to ensure your voice didn't display your frustration like it did before.
“Jax, I'm offering you a hug. It's either a yes or a no, it's very simple. I can't read your mind, you need to tell me what you want,” you insisted with a more stern tone, but you managed to keep the underlying gentleness in your voice. “I’m asking you again, do you want a hug, yes or no?”
Jax sniffled, huffing quietly under his breath as he wiped his tears. So this is how it was gonna be, huh? You were gonna speak to him like he was some stubborn toddler?
Albeit that, the rebellious attitude washed away like chalk in the rain when he tried to muster up the courage to answer verbally. Swallowing back the lump in his throat, he finally decided to give you a subtle nod.
The tension in your chest slowly melted when he began to get a little more cooperative. You smiled a bit now, gently gripping his shoulder so you could get a good look at his face.
“Well, do you mind turning around so I can give it to you?” you asked with a more teasing and friendly tone.
Jax paused again, staying quiet, but the inviting nature of your voice helped him feel a little more comfortable turning around to face you. This was strangely rewarding in the back of his subconscious.
You spread your arms and allowed him to crawl into your embrace, his head laying against your chest as his long and slender arms wrapped around your waist. Your hand found its way to the back of his head, and you gently ran your fingers through his fur and scratched behind his ears.
As soothing as the gesture was, Jax couldn't hold back his sobs anymore. He couldn't believe how kind you were being to him despite everything that happened between you two. His tears stained your chest as his form trembled in your arms, and you found yourself equally surprised as you were concerned.
“Hey, hey, what's the matter?” you asked with a frown, your arm resting around his shoulders as you gently pet his ears. However, your expression fell somber when you pieced together in your head why he must be crying. Sighing quietly, you held him close, your face returning to its neutral expression.
Jax sobbed in your arms as you stared blankly across the room. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore, they flowed out of his eyes like a wrecked water dam, completely betraying his nonchalant demeanor. You closed your eyes, your fingers continuing to work their magic behind his ears.
Jax whimpered out another apology in his pathetic, tiny voice.
“I'm sorry…” he sobbed, hiccuping and sniffling.
Your voice was gentle and quiet in response, a stark contrast to his trembling and hysterical whimpers.
“I know.” You murmured, keeping your eyes closed as your fingers scratched behind his ears.
Jax sniffled, trying to keep himself together enough to speak.
“I didn mean it…”
“I know.”
“Please don't go…”
Jax sounded particularly desperate when he said that, his arms tightening around you. He pressed his eyes closed, squeezing more tears out that fell down his face. “I'm sorry…” he whimpered again when you didn't respond.
“I… I won't go. I'm right here, Jax,” you sighed, gently stroking the back of his head. His fur was so soft. “I'm not going anywhere.”
“Please…” Jax pleaded in a soft whimper, closing his eyes and feeling the tears pool around his eyelids. He was so stupid, so wrong for trying to push you away when all you wanted to do was help. Why did he do this shit to himself? What the fuck was his problem?
“Idiot…”
Your eyes fluttered open, and you looked down at him. “What was that…?”
“Such an idiot!” Jax cried out, exasperated and angry even through his crying.
You blinked in confusion, looking down at him with a puzzled expression. “...Who's the idiot?” you asked with genuine curiosity.
Jax went quiet, resting his cheek against your chest and sniffling. His pupils were dilated, glimmering with tears, his mouth pressed closed and hidden under his shoulder.
After a few seconds of silence, you smiled a bit.
“...You feel like an idiot?” you guessed, stroking the back of his head.
Jax nodded, sniffling and slowly calming down from his sobbing.
You gave his head a few soothing pats.
“Well, you are.”
“What?”
Jax looked up at you, completely startled out of his breakdown, and he looked so adorably astonished that it made you burst out in laughter. His expression just twisted to more confusion as you laughed, trying to decipher the joke.
“Wh…Why are you laughing?” he finally asked timidly as you coughed a couple times to calm down.
“Sorry, Jax, you're just— Pff,” you snorted and laughed as you cut yourself off, then you sighed and gently pat his head again. “I'm sorry, Jax, i-it's just that when you look at me with those eyes,” you giggled again as you glanced down at his puzzled little face. “You look so stupidly adorable!!”
Jax's expression fell into one of annoyance at your answer, and he rolled his eyes so far the back of his head they could've gotten stuck there. He slumped back down on you, huffing out a response.
“Har har. So funny,” he grunted, laying his cheek back on your chest and pouting as he stared at the wall.
You chuckled softly at his flustered reaction, relaxing your body against the bed again. A soft sigh escaped your chest, and you idly started caressing the short fur on his head again.
“Though, in all seriousness… Yeah, you were acting like an idiot, Jax,” you hummed, your voice reflecting a bizarre contradiction to the words you were saying. “I can't tell you that you weren't,” you continued, your tone describing nothing but love and care for him.
Jax twisted his already puzzled expression as he tried to make sense of what the hell you were saying and why you sounded so kind while you were calling him an idiot. “Thanks…” he mumbled, trying to sound sarcastic but it came out as more of a confused intonation.
You smirked in amusement at the fact he didn't even realize you successfully distracted him from his self-hating thoughts.
“But,” you continued, closing your eyes and fidgeting with the base of his ear. “That doesn't mean you are in idiot. It just means you were acting like an idiot.”
“Can we have this conversation later?” Jax grumbled, cutting you off from your thoughts. His brain was way too numb and fatigued from all the crying and sadness and arguing you two have been through the past hour. He couldn't exactly handle a pep talk right now.
You looked down at him, your eyes perked open in curiosity. Though, it made sense, you were happy to be spared of playing therapist this time in favour of just letting him process things on his own internally. You smiled and nodded, leaning back again and staring up blankly at the roof of his bedroom.
“Sure. What do you want to do right now?” you hummed, then realized there were a bunch of scattered glow-in-the-dark star stickers stuck on his ceiling, which you thought was an absolutely adorable addition to his room. You chuckled a bit in amusement, your eyes settling between each star.
Jax didn't respond verbally and just sighed, signaling to you that he didn't want to talk anymore. He's had enough sappy and emotional words for today, the thought of having to process more sounded intimidating and exhausting.
Not hearing an answer, you glanced back down at him, tilting your head. “...You want me to leave?”
Jax shook his head.
“...You want me to stay?”
He nodded.
“You want me to sit in silence with you?”
He nodded again.
You smiled, enjoying this little game of charades he was playing with you. It was a nice moment of peace and adorableness after the flurry of emotions.
“You want me to keep holding you?*
Jax seemed to pause longer for that question. Then, slowly, he nodded, the action way less confident now.
You chuckled and leaned back again, adjusting the pillows to make yourself comfortable. Sighing quietly, you closed your eyes, your fingers gently scratching the base of his ears and stroking his fur affectionately.
“Alright,” you murmured. “We can do that.”