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The day Kakashi got home to find Sakura in her underwear and stretched out on their kitchen table while some other pervert ate yogurt off of his young wife's belly was the day that he knew their open marriage had gotten too open.
To be fair he had never really imagined Sakura taking advantage of his suggestion. She was just too loyal to have bedmates outside of their marriage.
Well, she was supposed to be, he mentally amended as he watched the back of a dark head of hair bob. He was fairly certain that the man in question had just delivered a long wet lick to Sakura's belly. Sakura, for her part, giggled and wriggled underneath the lick. Her skin was flushed and her eyes were bright when she glanced past his shoulder.
Knowing that he had been seen standing in the doorway, Kakashi straightened his shoulders and waited for her surprise, embarrassment, and apologies. He waited for her to kick her entertainment away from her.
When her eyes glanced over her partner's shoulder, there was no surprise or guilt in her expression. Just amusement. She had known he was there which meant the other man had probably known that he was there too.
"Welcome home, Kakashi." She said as cheerfully as if he was not watching some other man suck yogurt out of her belly button. "How was your - eek! - trip?"
"Fine." He said stonily.
He vaguely remembered that when he had suggested opening their marriage up, he had promised to be discreet in his extra-marital affairs. Calling this - this - this production discreet was like calling Naruto discreet.
Distantly, Kakashi noted how much his hands ached. He was clenching them too hard.
The vision of himself shoving one of them through his rival's back and out through his chest, spraying Sakura's surprised face with her lover's red blood, gleaming chips of his bone, and thick globs of his flesh while the crackle of electricity and the cries of a thousand, angry birds filled the air, failed to make Kakashi feel any better.
Mostly it made him feel more murderous.
"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked, a trifle inanely.
He blamed that on the shock and betrayal. And the anguished throbbing in his chest. And the fact that Sakura was wearing lacy black lingerie for Sai when she never wore it for Kakashi anymore.
"Having breakfast," Sakura giggled. "There are breakfast bars in the cupboard if you're hungry."
Kakashi dropped his pack and turned on the ball of his foot. What he really needed after a long and grueling mission was to go train until he collapsed.
"Say hello to Anko-san for me," Sakura called. There was a cruel edge to her voice that Kakashi had never heard directed toward himself before.
Kakashi hesitated, his back to his wife and the obscene slurping noises. The scent of honey, usually one that he liked, was cloying and thick as it coated the back of his throat.
"This is about our bed?"
He had taken Anko to their bed - literally, the bed that he shared with Sakura - just before he left on his mission. He had thought that there was no way Sakura would ever know about that. He had painted over the chips in the bed's finish and replaced the slat that they had broken.
Did she seduce Sai to teach me a lesson? he wondered.
Kakashi hated the tinge of desperation and hope overlaying that thought.
"Aaah... This marriage has been open - oh! - open for me as long as - as it has been open - for - mmmhhmm! - for you, Kakashi," Sakura panted. "What made you think I wasn't being just as discreet as you?"
More discreet, Kakashi admitted to himself bitterly. Since I never realized that I wasn't your only lover.
"Sakura-" Kakashi began, ready to promise her anything, to give up anything she asked - even those other girls and why had they seemed like such a good idea in the first place? - if she would just send Sai away. And never touch anyone but him ever again.
"You've made your bed, Kakashi," Sakura said, her voice so cold and sharp that it literally hurt Kakashi to hear it. "Now go lay in it."
For a moment, a single, glorious moment, Kakashi considered just killing Sai and being done with it.
Then practicality swooped in, reminding him that there were other men in the village. Men who could woo Sakura while he was in prison - or Konohagakure's mental institution - for Sai's murder.
If I ever wanted the chance to court Sakura again, to lure her back into being only mine, I have to accept this for now.
His shoulders slumped and his hands aching, Kakashi went.