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Emmet was hovering around the bedroom door. Had been for a while now.
Mel had seen her son come up to the doorway a few times, only to walk off once she glanced up from her book. He was leaning against the wall just outside now. Mel could see the edge of Emmet’s foot and elbow through the door frame.
He had done this ever since he was a kid, hover outside the room Mel was in when he wanted something but was nervous about asking. She would ask what was wrong, but it was pretty obvious.
They were all well aware of the reason Emmet, and Elesa tomorrow, were visiting this weekend. It had been three years since Ingo…
Seeming to have worked through his nerves again, Emmet stepped into the doorway. Mel looked up at him. Emmet froze and ducked away again.
“You can come in, Emmet,” Mel called over.
It took another minute, but Emmet finally padded into the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed, head down and arms wrapped around himself. His throat bobbed before he opened his mouth, a strangled wheeze coming out instead whatever he was going to say.
Mel put her book on the bedside table and opened her arms. “Come here.”
Emmet hesitated for only a second before tucking himself against Mel’s side, resting his head on her collarbone. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close.
It had been a long morning for Emmet, Mel could tell. She knew he hadn’t slept much. He had been already making breakfast by the time she and Nico made their way downstairs. They had eaten in silence, then Emmet went outside with some of the Pokemon.
He had come back in a few hours later, eyes red and cheeks blotchy. With the minimal amount of signs, Emmet explained that Elesa wouldn’t be coming until tomorrow. It wouldn’t be a big deal under normal circumstances, but Emmet had been running on fumes long before he gotten here yesterday. He had hidden in his room since.
Her boy was exhausted, and plans were changed at the last second. It had probably taken the last of his energy to actually come over to her.
She’d hold him for as long as he needed.
It was a few minutes later that Emmet said, voice low and rough, “It- Don’t blame Elesa.”
“For what?” Mel asked, a little surprised Emmet had managed to say anything at all.
“For coming late,” Emmet whispered. “For making me upset. Not herrrr fault. Some- something came up. Had to- Couldn’t-”
“It’s okay,” Mel said once Emmet fell quiet. “I wasn’t blaming her. I know she wants to be here too.”
Emmet made a small sound and pressed his face into her neck.
Elesa had been as torn up about Ingo’s disappearance as Emmet, Nico, and herself. Mel and Nico had told Elesa she could come to them for anything. She didn’t always take them up on it, but Mel knew she was less likely to ask for help than her boys.
Even if she was going to be a little late, at least Elesa was coming over. At least she wouldn’t spending this anniversary alone again.
“Am-” Emmet hiccupped. “Am I being immature?”
Mel tried to get a look at Emmet. She still couldn’t see his face, but she could see his ears turning red. “About what?”
“This,” he mumbled. “I am- I don’t knnnnow… Hiding? I am an adult and I am hiiiiding with my ma.”
“You’re still my little man,” Mel said, hugging Emmet a little tighter.
Emmet huffed a laugh at the old pet name. “I’m tallerrrr than you.”
“You boys have been taller than your dad since you were 14,” Mel laughed. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
Emmet unburied his face with a shaky breath. He had the faintest of smiles. “Yeah… You are rrrright.”
They fell silent again. Emmet's breathing began to level out. Mel moved a hand to rub Emmet’s arm.
Emmet’s Xtrans buzzed. He took it off and tossed it to the far corner of the bed.
“What was that?” Mel asked.
Emmet shrugged. “I’ll check laterrrr.”
A few minutes later, Nico popped his head into the room. He quickly signed to Mel that he’d be right back and left again.
Eelektross joined them soon after Mel heard the front door close. He nosed his way onto Mel’s lap and as into Emmet’s chest as best he could.
It took a few false starts, but eventually Emmet quietly said, “Does- Does it ever stop hurrrrting?”
This time, Mel didn’t need to ask for clarification.
Her hand stilled, only to squeeze a little. She took a breath, slow and measured.
“Yes and no,” she settled on.
Emmet hummed a question.
“The pain dulls,” Mel continued. “It settles. But it never fully leaves.”
She took another breath. Emmet rubbed Eelektross.
“Zar’s been gone for over twenty years now,” she said. “Most of the time I’m fine with that. But some days, it hurts like it did the day we lost her. It’s just part of missing some one, I think.”
“When doessss that happen?” Emmet asked, voice small. “When does it ssssettle?”
“I don’t know,” Mel admitted. “I think it’s different for everyone. I thought it had settled, then I was suddenly the same age as Zar was when she passed and it all came speeding back. But it’s different with Ingo. There was closure with Zar. Ingo… We don’t have that.”
“He’s out there,” Emmet whispered like it was a prayer, his hold on Eelektross tightening. “He’s out there. He’ll come home or I will find him.”
Mel wanted that too. She wanted her eldest home safe more than anything. Of course she did.
But she also knew the chances of that dwindled with every passing day.
“Don’t burn yourself out,” she said instead.
Emmet sighed.
“I want him home too.” Mel went back to rubbing Emmet’s arm. “But I also don’t want to see you… derail? Did I use that right?”
Emmet huffed a laugh. “Yeah, you did.”
“See, I do remember some of you two’s train stuff,” Mel teased, hoping to lighten the mood a little. “Honestly, I really should remember more of it. You two never stopped with it.”
Emmet’s small laugh petered off quickly. He swallowed before barely audibly asking, “Do… Do you waaaant it to stop? The- The hurrrrt?”
“Do you?” Mel hummed.
Emmet shook his head. “Not entirrrrely.”
“Neither do I.” Mel moved her hand from Emmet’s arm to his head, stroking her fingers through his hair. “It reminds me how much I love my sister.”
“Yeah,” Emmet agreed softly. “I… I think get it.”
They stayed like that for a while longer. Mel could feel her son actually relaxing. He slowly leaned on her more and more as his hands stopped moving. When she heard him softly snore, Eelektross following along with a huff, she knew she was stuck.
She wouldn’t have it any other way.
Moving her arm to hold Emmet again, Mel leaned her head onto Emmet’s. She could feel herself growing tired too. A nap did sound nice after all that. Good thing she had set up her little chair pillow against the headboard before getting her book.
Sometime later, Mel woke at a light knock on the door frame. Emmet mumbled something, but didn’t stir anymore than that.
“Sorry,” Nico whispered. “Didn’t notice you were sleeping.”
Mel waved him off. “It’s fine, Emmet’s still asleep. What is it?”
“Elesa’s here,” Nico said. “I just went with Scolipede to pick her up at the station. She’s just putting her stuff away and going to the bathroom.”
“I thought she couldn’t make it until tomorrow?”
“She said she managed to figure it out.” Nico shrugged. “I didn’t pry. She… looks like she needs to rest, and I didn’t want to bother her.”
“Well, there’s room on the bed if she wants to join,” Mel chuckled.
“I’ll let her know,” Nico said with a small laugh of his own. “Did you want me to grab you anything? It looks like you might be stuck here for a little bit.”
“Some water would be nice.”
“On it. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
With that, Nico left.
Elesa and Zebstrika appeared in the doorway soon afterwards, Scolipede following them. Nico was right, she looked exhausted. Mel waved her over. Wordlessly, she curled up against Mel’s other side as Zebstrika sat on the floor and rested her head on the bed.
Nico came back a couple minutes later, Chandelure trailing behind. He set a glass of water on the bedside table, gave her a kiss, and said he was going to go get dinner started before leaving again. Scolipede chittered at Chandelure and Zebstrika for a moment before leaving too. Chandelure stayed, tucking herself into the last remaining bit of space on the bed.
The anniversary of Ingo’s disappearance was always rough on all of them. But at least having the rest of her kids around made it more bearable.
Hopefully someday, Ingo would be here too.