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Riley is soft, bright-eyed, and full of wonder. Maya is sharp, steady, and a little rough around the edges.
The world looked at them and saw contradictions, but they never cared about what the world saw. It was always Riley and Maya.
"People think they know us," Riley said one afternoon, her voice barely above a whisper. They were sitting in their usual spot by the bay window, the city humming quietly outside. "They think they know what I should do."
Maya looked at her, blue eyes serious in a way only Riley ever got to see. "They don't get us, Riles. But so what? We do."
Riley sighed, slightly nodding. "Lucas wants me to come to Texas to live with him there. Grow old and whatever. He thinks it's the right choice for me." She avoided eye contact, too scared to see her best friend’s disappointment. That’s one thing she never wants to do. Disappoint Maya.
The latter’s breath hitched, but she forced herself to stay calm. "And what do you think?" She tried to sound nonchalant but she was barely breathing.
Riley hesitated. "I think... I don’t know. I think he makes sense. I mean, I’ve always liked Lucas. You know that. Everybody does." She was fidgeting to stop herself from shaking.
Maya nodded slowly, eyes unreadable, noticing Riley’s visible struggle. "Yeah. You do."
"Yeah.” Her voice was faint so she cleared her throat. “I think I like how easy it is when people look at us and see a picture that makes sense."
Oh.
It felt like Riley was trying to convince herself more than Maya but each word cut through the blonde’s chest like a knife.
The latter’s jaw tightened. "And me? What do they see when they look at us?"
She can’t help but sound bitter. The way Riley was describing her relationship with Lucas felt wrong. Like it’s directed at her but Maya knows that’s not what she meant.
Riley swallowed hard, not really expecting the tone or the words that came out of her friend’s mouth. "They don’t understand. They never have." She said firmly, almost proud. Maya let out a faint smile.
Silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Riley wanted Maya to say it.
To tell her to stay, to give her a reason. But Maya was never the one to hold Riley back. She can never be selfish with Riley. No matter how much she wants to be. Even now, when it felt like her heart was about to slip right through her fingers, she refused to ask for more than Riley was willing to give.
Maya forced a smile. "Texas isn’t so bad, you know. Horses and cows, cowboy boots, rodeos, or whatever the hell is going on over there. You’d look ridiculous, but still." She sighed before adding, “You’re always pretty, anyway.” It was with a lower voice but Riley heard it.
Her cheeks reddened a bit before letting out a weak laugh. There was a pause. A moment of silence for a few minutes before Riley broke it almost immediately as she noticed the dead air.
"I guess you won’t ask me to stay then?”
Maya exhaled sharply, looking away. She shook her head. "It’s not fair."
Riley nodded in understanding but also a hit of disappointment. "Yeah." Her voice was barely a whisper. "But that’s what you want, right?" She asked, hope clear in her voice.
The silence was deafening. This scared her more than anything but she needed the assurance.
Assurance that she’s about to do the right thing.
Maya’s fingers twitched, like she wanted to reach for her but was holding herself back. She decided against it. For now. "I can’t be the reason you stay."
Riley searched her face, desperate. "What if you already are?" She didn’t expect for it to come out like a whisper. She barely heard it herself but Maya understood.
She always has.
Maya’s mask faltered, and for a second, Riley saw it. Saw the fear, the longing, the hope she was too afraid to say out loud. And maybe that was enough. Maybe it was always enough.
"I like Lucas," Riley murmured louder, voice thick with emotion. "He’s… Lucas." Maya searched for something in her eyes as if expecting her to say more and that was her signal. “But you’re Maya. My best friend. My soulmate. I never once imagined my life without you. I still haven’t, peaches. I don’t ever want to. I love y-”
“Then don’t go.” Maya felt the lump in her throat but she still managed to stop Riley from continuing her ‘speech’. She had an idea where this was going and this just didn’t feel like the time to do it. They've said those words to each other before but this felt different. Realer. So she doesn't let Riley say it. At least not yet.
Then, for once, Maya let herself be selfish. She thought about Riley staying with her. She thought about Riley leaving Lucas. For her. She allowed herself to want Riley without feeling that guilt that shows up every now and then whenever she thinks about choosing herself.
Maya finally thought about wanting something for herself. Putting her happiness first because Riley has taught her that she deserved it although she never really fully believed it. Until now.
This is it. This is the exception.
Riley.
If anyone asked her to choose between anyone or anything, no matter the situation they’re in, her choice will always be Riley.
And Riley was the same.
So as soon as Maya said the words she’s been hoping to hear, she knew she wouldn’t go. Ever.