Chapter Text
“You look…” Clark looked her up and down and she preened as he swallowed thickly, “amazing…”
Lois smiled and sauntered past him into his flat, swinging her hips to draw his eyes down to how her dress clung to her rear end. Finding burgundy dresses was a nightmare and this one hadn’t been cheap. At least she could enjoy the desired effect.
“So!” she said brightly, drawing his attention back to the rest of her as she spun around to face him in his huge farmhouse kitchen (seriously: how had he managed to find a farmhouse kitchen in an apartment in the middle of Metropolis?). “Where are we headed?”
Clark squirmed as if she had said something distasteful. They had been dating (ha!) for months now and there was always something going on. She should have known they would never make it to dinner.
“Actually…”
Her shoulders slumped. “Ugh! What now?! Lex again? I know we don’t have a story we’re waiting on anything for at the moment. Or do you have to head back to Kansas to feed your parents’ cat-”
Clark put up his hands in surrender. “No, no, nothing like that. I just…” he took her arm gently (he was always so gentle, sometimes it drove her mad) and led her over to the couch. She sat, while he worried at his bottom lip. “I need to tell you something.”
He stayed standing and her heart sank. “You have a wife back in Smallville don’t you?” She felt her eyes prickle with tears. “I knew it! There’s no way that you wouldn’t be mobbed by those country girls! They’ve probably never seen someone with actual sophistication!”
“No!” He knelt in front of her and took her hands. “Lois, I promise I’m not married. There’s no one that could ever compare to you.”
Only somewhat mollified, Lois looked into his earnest face, praying this wasn’t another thing to break them apart. “What then?”
He stood and paced just a couple of steps back and forth before he could turn to face her, a deep breath fortifying him.
“You know how much I love you. I mean it when I say there’s no one else for me Lois. You’re everything to me. Well, we’ve been dating for a while now and before things go any further there’s something I need to tell you.
He paused.
“Well?” she insisted. “Spit it out already!”
He froze, looking at her like he was going to the gallows.
“Lois…I’m…I’m Superman.”
There was silence for a moment as she processed his words before laughter fountained out of her mouth. He looked severely unimpressed with her as she tried to force down her giggles, wiping her eyes.
“Clark, that’s crazy.”
“No, Lois, I am Superman.”
She stood and came close to him, resting her hands on his chest.
“Clark,” she said, trying to sound soothing and not like she was about to laugh again. “You don’t need to do this. I’ll admit, I may have had a bit of a crush on Superman.”
He looked at her with undisguised sarcasm.
“Ok, maybe a huge crush on Superman,” she accepted with a self-deprecating chuckle. She patted his chest. “But you’re Clark. You’re the only person who could actually resurrect my belief in romance. You’re kind and generous and I love you.”
She reached up to kiss him and he leaned away, speaking softly. “Lois, really. I’m not just saying this. I am Superman.”
He reached up and removed his glasses. It was funny: she couldn’t actually remember ever seeing him without his glasses before. It was surprising how much they changed his face…
“I mean…” she said hesitantly, her eyes drawn to points that seemed oh so familiar. “I’ll admit you kind of look like him. Kind of…” her voice trailed off until she rallied herself once more. “But you can’t be. You cannot be Superman.”
Lois kept her eyes on his face, those eyes, that jaw, as he gently took her waist in his hands and she felt the floor drift away until her toes barely scraped it, until they swung free, unburdened by gravity.
She felt her mouth hang open as he lowered them back to the floor once more. She snapped it shut as she pulled away.
“No.” She said firmly, stepping back towards the couch, but too flustered to sit. “No! You are not Superman! Because…because if you were…if you were…”
The most brilliant journalist in Metropolis, Mad Dog Lane, multiple award winner, tenacious and impossible to fool…
Her eyes widened and she stopped in her tracks as something else occurred to her. Implication after implication falling into place. She swatted at him.
“Oh you egotistical-!! All those times I talked about how wonderful Superman was! You just lapped it up didn’t you! You loved it! You lying little sneak!”
He put up his hands, not trying to stop her, simply admitting defeat. “I didn’t! Trust me: I didn’t! You weren’t talking about me!”
“Oh! So you admit you lied? Constantly. To my face!”
“I’m sorry,” he sounded dejected, but that only stoked her fire. “I never wanted to lie. I didn’t come to Metropolis to be Superman. I just wanted to be a journalist, to work for the Daily Planet.”
“So you just ‘accidentally’ created an entire secret identity? Huh? You just had to lie to us!”
“What else was I supposed to do?!” This man said, this fraud, finally raising his voice. “I can’t be ‘Clark’ and still help people! I can’t do what I can do and live a normal life!”
It helped for him to lose his cool. It was so much easier to be the sane one when someone else was losing it.
Her hands met her hips, her voice back to some semblance of control. “So what was the plan ‘Clark’? If that even is your name. How can I trust anything about you now? What about your parents? Are they just actors too?”
He backed away too, rubbing his eyes and regaining his composure far better than she had, damnit. It was so odd. To have this conversation with Superman watching her through his eyes. She would never speak like this to Superman: it was all longing looks and tender promises…From him. Clark had given her those looks all this time…
He frowned at her. “My parents are real. They…they found me. When I was a baby.”
“And they just, what? Kept you? How did they explain that?”
He chuckled. Chuckled! The gall of him!
“I still don’t know. Everyone knew they had been trying for years. I think they passed me off as some relatives' kid in the beginning. After a while it just never came up.” He paused and looked at her beseechingly. “Don’t blame them. They love you and it’s not their fault. I’m the one who lied.”
Lois waved his comment away, turning to sit heavily on his couch. As if she really believed Martha and Jonathan Kent were capable of anything sinister. She didn’t really think the man in front of her was either, it was just…
“I don’t know how to believe you anymore. I don’t even know what to call you.”
She heard the neediness in her voice and hated it. Since when did she need anyone?
He flapped his arms helplessly against his sides. “I’m just Clark Kent, same as always. Nothing has changed, Lois, not really. I’m the same person I’ve always been. Superman is just a mask. It’s armour I put on to protect myself and the people I care about.” He tapped his hand to his chest. “Clark is who I am.”
“Are you? Because,” she paused as he turned his head, that far off look all too familiar. “Oh no,” she said, “you are not running off-”
“There’s a pile up on the expressway out of town. People are trapped.” He looked at her and started loosening his tie. “I’ll be as quick as I can.”
And with a sudden gust of wind he was gone. Just like that.
Lois sat, alone, in her partner’s apartment. That look, the excuses (increasingly absurd and unbelievable), the sudden exit: it was all too familiar from their time together. Except this time…this time she thought maybe he was actually, finally, telling the truth. Clark, her Clark, was flying at the speed of sound to the expressway where he would put out fires and pull people out of wreckage with his bare hands. And he’d come back with some story, smuts on his suit, his tie askew and she’d yell at him and blame him for always abandoning her. Wouldn’t she? The thought of Clark in the midst of twisted steel and blood made her throat close up, her eyes hot. Superman did those things: it made sense. That was what he was for. Oh that sounded awful, but it was true. Superman was untouchable, more than a man. Clark was…Clark was a snarky, underhanded, devious, loveable, goody-two-shoes with great parents and small town innocence that put everyone at ease. He was kind and unbearably gentle and a complete soft touch. He liked bad movies, good chinese and…her.
He loved her.
Clark loved her. And he was out there right now saving people and, oh god, she had been constantly yelling at him for saving peoples’ lives! He was good and faithful and true and she was pond scum!
A deep sob lurched its way up her throat and she swallowed it down even if she couldn’t stop the tears streaming down her face. She swiped them away fiercely. This was ridiculous! This whole night was ridiculous! She refused to become an emotional wreck over some man! Some men. She guessed she did get to have her cake and eat it.
She giggle snorted uncomfortably, tears still spilling on her cheeks. Pull yourself together Lane! She stood, took a deep breath and headed to the bathroom. She grimaced at the face that met her in the mirror. She splashed water on her face in the vain hope it would make her eyes less red and grabbed some tissue to try and prevent the oncoming panda eyes. She sniffed as she worked, blinking, trying to settle her breathing.
A whoosh and a faint “Lois?” from the apartment.
“One minute!”
She washed her hands, took one last look at her handy work and stepped out.
Superman was there. Because of course he was. He was Clark, or Clark was him.
“I’m sorry,” SuperClark said hurriedly.
“No, no,” Lois interrupted, admiring the softness of her voice. “Please. Please don’t apologise for saving people.” She floundered, gesturing helplessly. “If I had known that’s where you kept going I never…”
“No,” this time it was his turn to stop her. “It’s my fault you didn’t know. I hated it every time I had to leave.”
“But of course you had to go,” she said. “I get it. Now.”
He stepped closer, taking her hand. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
“I understand. I do. I just…” she blinked, distracted and took her hand back. “You know it would be much easier to have this conversation with Clark.”
He smiled ruefully and with a nod and a whirl of colour Clark was standing in front of her, his suit almost tidy, only his collar flicking up on one side. She tutted gently and reached out to fix it for him, Clark tilting his head just so to let her. Mission complete, she smoothed her hands down his broad shoulders, dusting off invisible lint.
“All better,” she said.
“Really?” he asked and there was a weight to the question that implied he wasn’t just talking about his collar.
She had to think for a moment. She took his hand and led him to the couch while she did. The fact was he had lied to her from the moment they met. On the other hand she could see his point in this: he couldn’t live any kind of normal life and use his abilities. And what else was he supposed to do? Not help people? Her Clark? Her Superman? That would be like telling the sun not to rise.
So should he have trusted her from the beginning? Lois wanted the answer to be yes, but she wasn’t a complete idiot. If he had wandered into the newsroom, sat down as Clark and then rushed off to save lives he would have been front page news before the end of the day. Even now, Superman stories were pure gold for the circulation numbers. It occurred to her he was still taking a risk. He was trusting that she wouldn’t make this public. Of course she wouldn’t. Of course she wouldn’t: but it was still something he had to think about.
They sat down on the couch, turned to face each other and she kept hold of his hand, fidgeting with his fingers as she tried to put the words together.
“I get it,” she began softly. “I do. I can see why you became Superman and why you didn’t tell me. I can see it.”
“But?” he prompted.
She sighed. “But you lied to me, Clark. You’ve lied to me for almost two years and about something that really mattered to me. It hurts.”
“Lois I’m so sorry-”
She cut him off. “Don’t. Don’t be sorry, Clark. You did what you had to do. If you hadn't, the world wouldn’t have Superman.”
He took her other hand. “But all I ever wanted was you.”
She freed one hand to cup his cheek, savouring the feel of him leaning into her touch, his eyes drifting shut just for a moment.
“I know you love me. But I also know how important Superman is: not just to the world, but to you. If you knew you could save all those people and you didn’t, you wouldn’t be the man I love.”
His eyes met hers hopefully and she continued. “I love you, Clark. But that doesn’t mean I can just get over this in one night. I need a bit of time before I can reconcile the idiot in front of me with the man in the suit.”
They shared a smile and Lois wondered whether it would really take her that long to get used to it.
A sudden thought occurred to her.
“Oh my God! You’re an alien!”
Clark startled back. “Yes?”
“I’m dating an alien, Clark! Is this a fetish? I bet it’s a fetish. Oh my God I’m living in a porn parody.”
“Give it time.”
She swatted at him playfully, fully aware that their relationship had not got anywhere close to having anything worth calling porn content yet. He laughed at her and she couldn’t help laughing back.
“Well sorry for not having processed this news yet.” Their chuckles subsided and she snuggled in beside him on the couch, unable to resist the comfort of his arms. She’d had a shock: she deserved to be comforted. “What happens now? How can I just go into work on Monday and act like everything is normal?”
He gave her a squeeze and rested his chin on the top of her head. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I know it seems like it now, but nothing’s really changed.”
“Says you,” she threw back, sitting up straight, out of his arms. “Come on. I’m not going out now. Order in and I’m going to spend the rest of the evening quizzing you like I’ve always wanted. I want to know everything, no holes barred, no stone left unturned. I want every single secret you’ve got left in you.”
He stood and rolled his eyes. “Alright alright,” he said with every sign of being hard done by.
But as he wandered off to grab the menus he threw a shining smile her way that told her everything she needed to know and she returned it in kind.