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"My lady! Please come back! You'll catch a cold!" Your maid calls out from behind you as she tries to catch up, the kosode that was meant to serve as your outerwear held carefully in her arms.
You paid her no mind, eyes focused on the canopy of lush green leaves above you, the endless sea of dark bark and moss in the unmarked path you walked. The soft mist of the upper points of this seemingly endless forest cascading down to swirl at your feet.
The crunch of leaves, the clink of pebbles beneath your sandals, the chirping of birds and the distant thrums of bugs, of babbling streams, everything so loud yet so quiet. Wild. Peaceful. The mountains truly were alive like in the tales.
The tales of ghosts and gods you overheard from servants sending a little shiver down the back of your neck. The ones your sister used to share with you when everyone else had gone to bed, smiles and naive giggles, huddled together under your warm blankets, dreaming foolish little dreams.
Now those dreams did not sound so distant.
Would you be whisked away by a mountain god? Made to stay in these mountains for all of eternity as their companion, their bride? Constraining silk layers and suffocating expectations cast aside for soft moss and free flowing streams, bare skin clothed only in endless mist and dappled sunlight. That didn't sound so bad..
"My Lady! It is getting cold..how about we turn back now? The servants have prepared warabimochi…" Your maid murmurs gently, that familiar placating tone, already catching the sour notes in the slight puff of your cheeks, the quick flutter of your lashes. Carefully placing that heavily ornate kosode on your shoulders, the lush purple embroidery of curved wisteria branches marring your back yet again.
You let the little green leaf you had held in your hand flutter back down to the rich ground beneath you. Fingers still slightly damp from the touch of cold dew. Lips puckering into that petulant pout you had still yet to out grow.
"My father sent me to the mountains for my health. My uncle said I could walk around his land as I please. And right now I am following their instructions. Are you questioning the words of your masters?"
Your maid folds easily. She had been with you since you were but a whiny, sickly little girl, always keeping your brazier hot, ensuring you were swaddled in fur and silk, coaxing you to drink the endless bitter herbal tonics. Soothing your tantrums and fevers. Rocking you in her arms and wiping your tears when you wailed for your sister to come back home.
She knew when to push and when to back off. This part of the forest was safe. You would sooner see a deer or serow than a wild boar or bear. You could only stumble upon one of the many monks that resided in the various temples throughout the mountains, there were no bandits or roaming warriors, no skirmishes between clans. This part of the land was untouched by human chaos.
So she took a step back and bowed, telling you she would wait here so you could walk at your own leisurely pace for awhile more. The wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, the progression of her sagging cheeks too notable in the speckled sunlight. Her light, gentle smile the same as always.
Huffy air finally leaving from where it was welled up in your chest, that tiny awkward smile forming on your lips. Giving her one last sheepish look before continuing farther into the forest. Deeper into mist and fertile forest.
Further into your thoughts.
Father had sent you to your uncle's newly built castle in hopes the strong mountain air would do you some good, like the physician had said. It would help appease Mother's overly excessive spending on herbs and charms and the pungent 'healing' incense she always insisted on burning in your chambers.
It was also an excuse to keep you away from the chaos back in Kyoto, your marriage into the Mori clan was now uncertain. Unneeded perhaps.
The Oda Daimyo's entry into Kyoto and his clear support of the imperial court meant that Father didn't have to sacrifice another daughter in a marriage to a lower clan for more funds. He could wait and watch carefully this time. His role as the emperor's kampaku always came first of course, but he didn't like tarnishing the clan's prestige to keep the imperial coffers full.
Whatever. It was pointless to think of such things.
You bent down to pick up a smooth little pebble. Beautiful despite being no different than the other pebbles beneath your feet. All round and tiny, grey and cold. Shaped and molded by the gentle stream in front of you. Weren't you just like this little shaped stone? Fate left to things far out of your control.
You kept it against your palm as you followed the path of the little stream. Your cousin had said that there were plenty of steams and rivers, little pools to cool your feet. Waterfalls. You would see where this one led.
The sound of distant, powerful rushing water excited you. Giving you the energy to push past the heavy rise of your chest, the drops of sweat starting to form on your temple. Careful of your footing on the mossy, damp rocks. Usually you would have grown tired from walking this long. But the forest beckoned you. A goal. A purpose. You had to press on.
Soon you were rewarded for your efforts. Lush thick water bursting down from higher into the mountains, forming the sparkling clear pool of water in front of you. Setting your little pebble aside on the remnants of an old fallen tree before removing your sandals and tabi.
Relishing in the feel of dark earth and fallen leaves beneath your feet before dipping them into the water. A refreshing coolness. Your smile drawn out easily by the tiny little fish swimming towards your toes.
Closing your eyes and letting the gentle earthiness of the air, the sounds of birds and water soothe your thoughts.
A loud splash nearly causing you to fall into the water out of fright. Was it a deer? Maybe a monkey?
A mountain god?
Peering into the slight hazy mist to try and discern the figure in front of you.
Something tall with two long limbs. Arms?
You shift closer, a twig snapping under your palm.
It turns to face you.
Sun kissed skin. Firm lines indicating strong muscle beneath flesh.
Wet hair sticking to the sides of his face, his shoulders. The hair dark yet silvery, reminiscent of mist. Big black eyes, too dark and fathomless. Looking back at you, tranquil yet piercing. Unmoving. Like that undisturbed serow you had spotted with your cousin.
Watching you.
For a brief moment you believe that you have indeed stumbled upon a divine being of the forest. Hands trembling. Heart in your throat. Goosebumps on your neck. Waiting for it to take you.
But then he yawns, one of his hands lazily scratching at his shoulder. Breath leaving his mouth, the subtle rise and fall of his chest. Human just like you. His crude spear and plain clothes on a large rock near where he bathes. Scars littering his arms, his chest and below his-
H-He's naked!
"I..I am not a peep!" You stammer, more of a squeak than words. Face flushed, eyes carefully concealed by your hands. Still able to catch a glimpse of the man between the little gaps of your fingers.
"Huh? I don't care."
He shrugs, continuing to cup water and splash it onto his skin. Drops of water trickling down..down..down…
Focus!!
"W-Well! I do! You should be ashamed of yourself! Out here acting like a..um a-a wild man!"
You promptly move to face away from him, hoping the shade of the trees will bring relief to your burning ears.
"You're the one that interrupted my bath…"
A nonchalant statement, perhaps not meant to be aggravating but it mattered little at this point.
Your nose flaring, spinning back around to face him. Pointing your finger, a hand on your hip. Your family would surely weep with shame if they saw the contorted look on your face. Succumbing to your petty, childish temper yet again. In the face of a stranger no less. Not suitable for a lady of your prestige at all.
"T-This is my uncle's land! You shouldn't even be here!"
He makes a deep hum, too soothing and relaxed as he shakes his wet hair and reaches for his clothing. A single plain kosode and dark cloth leg covers. Sitting on the large stone to wrap his well worn waraji onto his bare feet.
"My family has lived on this land for generations. It belongs to no one but the kami. They've let your Uncle live here too."
A bird sings nearby, weakening the crude point of your finger. The soft rustle of his straw sandal straps around his ankles cooling the hotness of your chest. His face still passive, calming like the ancient trees surrounding you. A sheepish pout on your lips, now feeling awkward.
A little cough leaves your lips, half true half fake, as your hand drops, fidgeting with the edge of your outer kosode.
Peaceful silence, not full of expectation or disappointment or judgement. Just silence.
"I um I remember now! My uncle did mention the woodsmen….your family is the one that handles the wood and meat and all that other stuff right? My uncle said he was um..very thankful for your service….um I-I am too! The bear fur keeps me warm at night..I like it…"
It had been a long time since you had uttered something similar to a compliment. It felt strange on your tongue. But nice.
He nods, lips faintly curling into what must be a smile. He stands up, walking closer to you.
"You're pretty. Do you need help getting back to the castle?"
You choke, then cough. Fully real this time. Your heart beating too fast. Face boiling.
W-What did he say!?
"Oh, you okay?"
He steps closer, towering over you for a moment before he slightly bends down, his large, sun kissed hand patting against the silk fabric covering your back. Uncaring that his calloused hand touched fabric more valuable than the land the two of you stood on. Big black eyes only on your face, your wobbly lips as your coughing eventually stopped.
"Thank you.."
A little croak, your eyes downcast to look at dirt and leaves. To see how the tips of his toes nearly met yours. His were large and toughened, healed blisters and other marks marring the skin of his feet. So unlike yours. But both were flesh. You were both just mortals in this vast forest. Equal. If you walked this forest enough times, would your feet look like that too?
"I..um..walk me back to the castle..um! Please.."
Pushing yourself to say the words you wanted to even though it made you want to die. Your sister had wrote in a letter once that it was good for your body and mind to speak what you truly held in your heart. Life was too short to let regrets stack up, to drown in what-ifs and what-nots.
"Sure."
He nods and takes a step forward before waiting for you to walk next to him.
"Um! Do you um know every part of the woods?"
Letting your curiosity out as the two of you walk.
That gets a chuckle out of him. Deep and soft. Warm. Lovely.
"No, but I know a good portion of it. My grandpa's been here his whole life and still doesn't know every where. The forest reveals what it wants when it wants to…"
Conversation comes so easy. He talks of the forest, of animals, of wild bears he's fought with his bare hands, the nasty scar on his right ear.
Your face flutters with so many emotions, your cheeks hurt and lips are dry from moving so much. But it's a good feeling. Usually you only feel boredom or irritation. You didn't know you could experience so much in such a short span of time.
"I'm Gin, by the way."
You exchange names, full names, and you splutter when he uses your first name right away. Big black eyes twinkling with something that must be amusement. That little subtle sweet curve of his lips.
He talks about his life and his family and you talk about your rather...stuffy, boring life. But mainly your sister and all the letters she sends you. The silly little dreams you keep to yourself. He talks about his encounters in the forest. That he's seen glimpses of the divine.
You're beaming, eyes crinkled and heart feeling light as he tells you he'll teach you how to befriend the local deer. A next time. It helps ease the sinking of your heart when you realize you have reached the castle.
Your maid coming to your side, distancing you from Gin. Her eyebrows furrowed, suspicious and judging as she looks him up and down. The layers of silk you wear on your skin heavy yet again. Suffocating.
But there would be a next time.
Glancing back one last time, eyes softening in relief as you saw him still standing there. The vast, misty forested mountains behind him. Waiting. Patient. Waving his hand until the heavy wooden doors were shut behind you by the guards.
There would be a next time.
Something delicate and hopeful bubbling in your chest. The smile on your face so soft that even your maid couldn't help but soften her disposition towards the unruly woodsman as well. Promising that she would help you arrange another walk around the forest. That he would be a good guide. Next time.
Your maid helping you prepare to rest, lighting your brazier, helping you change into your night garments. Before a gentle good night, her wrinkled eyes crinkling at the fragile twinkle now found in your eyes. Expecting that she would see it the next morning as she roused you from sleep to drink your morning medicine.
But there wasn't that next morning.
The letter that you had forgotten to read the other day, now left half read on your lacquered desk. Your father's announcement of your betrothal to one of the Oda daimyo's clan members. All the priceless trinkets in your jewelry box left untouched. The luxurious wisteria embroidered kosode left by it's spot next to the brazier. Your futon neatly arranged as if you had never slept. Everything in it's place.
Except for you. Gone.
Your Uncle's men sent to search the land and villages, the deep depths of the forest and mountains. Torches dotting the moonlit forest for days, weeks until finally extinguishing.
Another story added to the long list of tales told at night to keep children from being naughty.
The village people paid little attention to the increased frequency of the youngest Gagamaru woodsman's visits into town. Fur and meat traded for more than the usual portion of food and fabric. The occasional purchase of a well made comb or other little trinket of little use to him. There was no crime for being in love, after all.
Instead they focused on the rumors of the beautiful, barefoot spirit spotted in the lush forests. Dancing with the trees and birds and deer. Spotting her meant good fortune. That you would not get lost in the endless misty forest.
The tale of the beautiful princess coveted by a mountain god, whisked away in the middle of the night. Her laughter guiding others away from that same fate.