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Ever since the farm when little Sophia came stumbling out of the barn like tomb, Daryl and Carol had been inseparable. She came to him for nearly everything. And he went to her for comfort. It was a bond none of the others including yourself could ever hope to understand. A mother ripped away from her daughter much to early. And a man willing to step in to the girl’s father’s shoes for a brief moment out of sheer kindness of the heart. Over time their relationship evolved past formality. Into friendship and the love that only two best friends could share.
But you simply couldn’t understand it. You tried. After Sophia you let the two have their space. After the farm you tried not to mind the nicknames Carol gave Daryl. When you first arrived at the prison you told yourself that when Daryl and Carol went on runs together it was better for the group. That even though Daryl and you made a good team you often got distracted and it made sense that he wanted to go with her. You did your damned best to ignore the psycho muttering of Rick about love lost and turned to Hershel for guidance who only gave you vague religious advice instead of the relationship advice you were hoping for. You even gave the two grace for how clingy they became once Daryl found Carol in the closet after thinking she was dead after the herd broke through the prison. When Merle came back you tried to ignore his vague but infuriatingly observant comments about the pair. You honestly tried not to spark fights if you could avoid them but sometimes the fire had already been lit and it was hard to avoid catching the whole thing aflame.
And so you sat in the courtyard of the prison. Taking a long drag of your cigarette you tried to calm yourself as you watched Daryl sharpen his arrows, Carol draped over his shoulder musing with his hair in such a way that would have been considered intimate had you and Daryl not been in a relationship since before the turn. And so you did what you did best. You tried to ignore it. But that white hot jealousy rose when Carol kissed Daryl’s temple and then his cheek a little too close to his lips. And oh… oh you had your suspicions about the kissing for a while. You had walked in on the two in what could be considered compromising positions before but they always explained it away. She was just leaning down to get something… He needed to go back and say good night… it made you feel so insecure and heartbroken. Standing in a huff you threw the butt of your cigarette to the ground and stomped it out ignoring the forlorn look Daryl gave you.
“I’m goin’ out.” You growled, stomping towards the gate. “W-What?” Daryl stammered standing up trying to follow but the glare you sent him instantly grounded him. “I said im goin’ out. I need a damned walk.” Daryl blinked at you cocking a brow. “Well. Let me get my gear and-“ He muttered pointing back to the prison with his thumb, but you were well past your breaking point. Rounding at him shook your head. “NO!” You screamed, storming up to face him, tears brimming your eyes even when you desperately wanted to seem strong. “Stay the hell here. Keep-“ you cut yourself off shaking your head to keep from outwardly sobbing. Daryl’s face fell, confusion and worry washing over him as he reached out to touch you, but for the first time in your relationship you pushed him away, turning away. “Like I said. I need a god damned walk.” You whispered. Daryl was glaring at you now. You were seriously starting to piss him off. “Well let me just come with ya!” He yelled walking along behind you.
Once again you shook your head, looking around you pointed to Merle. “Your brother promised me we’d go out today. So let’s go Merle!” You called motioning for Merle to follow. The elder Dixon turned from his place on the fence, covered in sweat, to see the commotion. Cocking a brow he walked over eyeing the situation warily. “What’s goin’ on?” He asked Daryl more than you, but you still answered. “You said you’d go out with me later. So let’s go. I’m ready. Let’s take a walk.” You huffed pacing anxiously in front of the gate. Merle was a little taken aback glancing from you to Daryl. He had said he would take you out for a good time… but he didn’t mean for a walk. He just wanted to piss Daryl off a little. But when he caught Carol standing farther up the hill the pieces started to click into place. Sighing deeply he let his face rest into his signature sleazy grin. “Alright, sugar. Where are we headed?” He asked, rounding you, wrapping his good arm around your waist, pulling you close to his sweaty form. Walking with you out the gates with only his knife arm and the weapons you had on you to keep you safe.
Once out of sight you peeled away from Merle tearing into every Walker in a 30 foot radius whether you had to or not. Merle stayed quiet for the most part. Whether it was out of curiosity or courtesy you had no idea. He simply puffed at a cigarette and watched you vigilantly from his seat on an old rotted stump. Once in a while he’d call out if you were going to be flanked. But for the most part he let you do what you had to. That is until the small herd moved in. You would have been fine. At least that’s what you told yourself. If you hadn’t used most of your energy stabbing the first five walkers more than they needed you could have taken them all down. But Merle’s panicked look made you second guess. Before you could register what was happening you were on your back, a strong hand having gripped the back of your shirt and yanked you out of danger. 6 shots was all it took to take them down but it also was all you had in your chamber. And you knew with the echoing of the shots through the air, that it wasn’t only the dead that would soon come looking for you both.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You screamed, scrambling to your feet. “Me?!” Merle blinked looking at you completely appalled. “Sugar,” he growled stepping up to you, grabbing your wrist. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you out here tryin’ ta get yerself killed?! Because that’s what I jest witnessed!” He yelled. You sneered at him fighting the sobs and the burning urge to scream at the top of your lungs. Maybe if you had more bullets you’d had attempted it. Maybe if you knew Daryl wasn’t tearing through the woods searching for you both you would have been more willing. But you didn’t want to be found. Not yet. And so you tore away from Merle with a small huff. “Just… fuck off.” You mumbled bending over to grab the knife you dropped. “Oh no…” Merle uttered through a strained laugh. “No. You don’t get to get pissed off at me for saving you, little one. That’s not how this works.” He hissed, grabbing you by the shoulder and pushing you up against a tree. “Yer gonna tell me what the hell is going on here because I feel like I’ve been extremely flexible with you. I’ve went along with your self destructive plan so far so the least I need is an explanation!” He growled.
Suddenly the tears you held back over the months, the feelings of abandonment and shame came crashing to the surface. Like a dam that was bound to break you let yourself sob, covering your face with filthy hands cried, heaving ugly sobs. Merle stared at you, his eyes wide as he pulled you close, rubbing your back, letting you rant about these messed up feelings you were having. You questioned yourself, questioned your sanity, and finally Daryl. You could feel Merle tense at your admission. And even though you backtracked and tried to make him see it like you did. Just a miscommunication, Merle still remained just as pissed. “Now you listen to me.” He whispered, pulling away slightly. “I’ve never known Daryl ta be a man ta ever mess around on anyone he’s been with… not that he’s ever been with many people before you but that doesn’t matter. He was normally the one ta be made a fool of. If Daryl is messing around…” he stayed silent for a moment but the anger and disappointment shone in eyes. “Well. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” He whispered. Kissing the top of your head he sighed when a branch broke to your right a large heard coming in. “Looks like we’re camping out tonight, sugar.” He teased, winking at you. Rolling your eyes you sighed walking deeper into the forest to find a place to bunk down for the night.
With the early morning light came the migration of the walkers. And as much as you and Merle enjoyed each other’s company you had to admit the little inlet of the large oak tree you both scrambled under for the night was less than comfortable. Crawling out first you accessed the area. No walkers you could see… nodding to Merle you both wiggled out, covered in mud and wood chips. It wasn’t a long walk back to the prison. Only an hour or two but the way you two talked made it feel like it only was a second.
Daryl was waiting for you at the gates, pacing inside like a tiger in a cage made much too small for him. You glanced to Merle, his arm firmly around your shoulders. As the gates swung open you felt him squeeze you gently. “Remember what I said. Talk to him. If yer gonna fight. Let it happen. Figure out what’s goin’ on and quit dancing around this shit.” He whispered into your hair. Letting his arm slide from your shoulders he let you go. “See ya inside.” He muttered, giving Daryl a sly wave as he passed by his brother. “The fuck was that all about?!” Daryl growled, watching Merle slink up the hill. “Daryl… we need to talk.” You whispered, looking to the ground shamefully. “Ya fuckin’ think?!” Daryl hissed practically seething. “Let’s go inside and then-“
“No!” Daryl screamed, grasping your shoulders. “Ya wanted to take a fuckin’ walk so god damned bad let’s take a damned walk!” He yelled, twisting you around and shoving you back into the dark forest.
Stumbling tiredly through the thicket you grasped helplessly at Daryl’s wrist as he held you firmly by the back of the neck. “Daryl…” you pleaded, tears staining your dirty cheeks. “Daryl, please stop hurting me.” With a shove you fell to your knees to the forest floor. Your boyfriend pacing the ground around you grasping fists full of his own hair. “Are you kidding me?” He bit out. It wasn't until then that you got a good look at him. He looked disheveled and exhausted, big black circles under his blue eyes highlighted them making them seem brighter than life. “Do you know how fucking God damned worried I was last night?” He breathed, still pacing. “Do you have any idea how panicked I was when I heard those shots?!” He yelled out stopping to spin on his heel glaring directly at you. “I searched all god damn night fer you and Merle! And then ya jest waltz back inta camp…” Daryl stops covering his face letting out a low growl as you venture standing up again. “Like… nothing happened. Jest like Carol said ya would.” He muttered, seeming to relax a little at the thought of the older woman.
But for you… hearing her name was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “God!” You huffed, throwing your arms up in the air exaggeratedly. “Can we go one god damned conversation with out talking about Carol!” You screamed. Daryl blinked cocking a brow at you looking at you like you grew a second head. “Wha-“ he started but the cap had already flown off. The dam was broken. And you were ready to break along with it. “Jesus fucking Christ!” You screamed at the top of your lungs holding your face, trying to muffle some of the sounds before turning and kicking the nearest rock to you, sending it over the ravine. “You two are always together! I can barely get a word in edgewise when she’s with you!” You cry holding your middle as sobs wreck your core. “And I have tried, Daryl! I have desperately tried to make sense of it all. I have given you both space! I have tried to get used to the pet names!” You sobbed. “Ya think I like it when-“ Daryl tried to interject, but you shook your head, holding a hand up to cut him off. “Daryl I’m not a fucking moron!” You whined wiping tears away. “I know…” your sobs stopped you. “I saw you both. The way you look at her. The way she kisses on you…” you sobbed, your knees buckled and so you hugged them close to your chest.
Daryl was silent for a minute. Only the sound of the forest surrounded you. As the crunching of leaves grew near then distant you were sure that Daryl was going to abandon you. Leave you out in the forest and return to her. But as a thump came behind you of a fallen Walker followed by the leaves rustling as Daryl settled behind you, you felt like you could finally breathe. His arms wrapped firmly around your middle gently. You couldn’t help but to lean back into his chest and let him hold you tight. Feeling Daryl’s breath on the back of your neck and his stubble rubbing against the bare skin of your shoulder as he laid his head there you felt yourself start to ground into this reality.
“It’s not like that.” He whispered softly into your ear after a long moment. Interlacing your fingers with his he sighed. “Car-“ he muttered, cutting himself off to reword. “Darlin’. What we have is so different from what Carol and I have. I love you. I can’t lie to you and say I don’t love her. I do. But it’s different. I…” he sighed, laying his head on your shoulder. “I love her like a sister. I think? Maybe like a best friend. But you.” He muttered clambering around you to sit in front of you, he took your cheeks in his hands, brushing the tears from your eyes. “I love you like my partner. Like we’re married. Like I could never live without you.”
He whispered, kissing your forehead lovingly. “How long have you felt this way?” He asked, pulling you tight to his chest. “Too long.” You answered weakly, snuggling close, sniffling. Daryl nodded, brushing back the hair from your face. “That why ya ran off yesterday with Merle?” He asked seriously. You only nodded. You could feel Daryl tense at the thought but you refused to let his imagination run wild, not when he quelled your own fears. “We ran into a herd... it was my fault. I was too loud. Merle took some down but it got out of hand and had to camp out.” Daryl hummed rubbing your arm the worry never melting from his face. “Nothing happened. We just talked.” You tried to reassure him but he still glared into the forest in front of you. “Daryl.” You whispered. “I’ll talk to Merle. Just… hate that you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about this.” He whispered.
Back at the prison Daryl immediately went to have a… talk with Merle. After a much needed shower you were back on the hillside, smoking the last of your cigarettes. “Hey.” A soft voice called from behind you. Turning to face the woman you cocked a brow. “Carol?” You muttered watching her take a seat a few feet away. “So… I caught Daryl on his way to… well.” She sighed running a hand through her gray bob. You frowned using your toe to kick a small rock down the hill you nodded. “And?” You whispered, glancing at her through the curtain of your hair. “Honey…” Carol whispered, scooting closer to you, taking your hand in Hera she squeezed it.
“Daryl loves you. He’s loved you since the start.” She muttered, smiling kindly. “When we talk, he only talks about you. How much he cares. He worries. He wants to care for you and asks for advice. He asks about relationship advice sometimes but sometimes he asks what he should do now in the world. And…” she moved so that she was in front of you. “I’m so so sorry I ever made you feel insecure about that, honey. I didn’t mean to. What Daryl and I have is-“ You cut her off with a sad look. “Like brother and sister. I know. He told me.” You muttered. “I accept your apology, Carol. I just hope Daryl forgives me.”
Nodding she sighed. “I’m sure he will.” She whispered. “Like I said. He loves you. He just gets… prickly.” She said, smiling up and behind you. “I ain’t shit…” Your boyfriend’s voice startled you, making you jump as he plopped down to sit beside you. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders you frowned at his broken knuckles. “Did you-“ you reached out and grabbed his hand. “I deserved it, sugar! Just happy you got your shit sorted!” Merle called out walking past, showing off his shiner. Daryl glared at him, flipping him off and pulling you tighter to his chest. Carol giggled standing and walking behind you both. “Have fun, pookie.” She whispered, reaching down to scratch both of your heads as she walked away. “So?” You muttered. “So?” He whispered back. “Are you angry?” You asked. Daryl was silent for a moment as he watched those on the fence work, Rick in his garden, and Carl bring his father water. “No.” He muttered. “Are you?” He asked, looking into your eyes. Shaking your head you snuggled closer to him. “No.”
“Good…” he whispered, combing through your hair watching as the sun set. “Want to take a walk later? Just you and me?” He asked with a smirk blooming on his lips. Smirking back, you nodded. “It’s a date.”