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It has been a bit of a difficult Saturday afternoon for Cybil. A lot of stress has been going on for her. Mostly with things that have to do with school. Usually, it is not the homework that makes her feel like this but it happens when a test is coming up in any of her classes. And with each grade that she has been in, the panic attacks have been popping up more. At the moment, Cybil was having a panic attack while being at her best friend’s home. Aziraphale and Crowley are not unfamiliar with Cybil’s panic attacks and anxiety.
Her attacks are always unintentional. Cybil hates when it happens, too. Yet, this attack was not about any kind of test coming up in any of her classes. This was a bit more serious. Aziraphale and Crowley were on the floor where Cybil ended up having to lay down. Leah was next to her. All three of them are trying to help Cybil calm down. While this was going on, she also felt so embarrassed but was having a hard time calming down.
“Cybil, it is going to be okay. Just take a deep breath.” Aziraphale tried to instruct her. Cybil took a deep breath but nothing was helping.
“I-I am so s-sorry!” Cybil exclaimed, trying to apologize. Crowley rubbed the top of her head gently.
“If you feel like you need to talk about something it is okay. We are here for you.” Crowley assured her.
“We truly are here for you, dear. We always will be.” Aziraphale seconded his husband's promise. Cybil just could not hold back anymore. She sat up as much as she could on the floor then teas began to fall down both of her cheeks.
“I am so tired of being picked on. I am so tired of having to please other people at school when it makes me feel so overwhelmed and exhausted! I just want to be myself but I feel like it will only cause people to pick on me more if I do. It..it just feels like that I am nothing but a burden to others around me because of things that I can not help doing, no matter how I try to stop it but..it is so hard to do on my own and no one else at the school will really do anything about it.” Cybil spoke while starting to sob.
Leah wrapped her arms around Cybil while she cried.
“You are not a burden at all, Cybil. You never will be that way to me. You will always be like a sister. I wish those horrible bastards would leave you alone, too. You are so wonderful and the people who are doing this to you are just huge arseholes. If they can not handle you being who you are then that is their issue, not yours and should they NOT take it out on you. I am so sorry that you are going through this.” Leah said to her. Cybil laid her head up against Leah’s shoulder. Leah softly held her best friend there. Seeing Cybil like this hurts her so much.
Sherlock and John have been trying so hard with trying to get the school to deal with the issue but it is just falling on death’s ears with the administration instead of anything actually being done for their daughter. Crowley and Aziraphale felt so awful for Cybil. She is like a second daughter to them, too. Just like Leah is to Sherlock and John. They are both each others’ family. And Cybil does agree with what Leah is telling her.
It was just hard to get all the thoughts to suddenly stop at once. Aziraphale rubbed Cybil’s back.
“And you are never a burden to me or Crowley either. We love you so much.” Aziraphale told her.
“I love you both and Leah, too.” Cybil said back. She considers Leah, Aziraphale and Crowley as her family. A couple of minutes after being hugged by Leah, Cybil began to calm down. Taking deep breaths.
“There you go, hun. Everything is alright.” Crowley spoke. Still, Cybil felt embarrassed by what she had done.
“I am really so sorry. My mind just blanked out and it just snowballed from there. I have been trying to not let this happen for some reason, all of this just took over me.” Cybil explained. None of them were upset with her.
“No need to apologize. We understand. I am just glad that you did not get hurt or anything.” Aziraphale spoke back.
“I promise that I will never hurt anyone. Unless it is to save Leah's life or self defense, of course.” Cybil piped up.
“We know, Cyb. We understand.” Leah responded. Cybil was starting to feel better.
“Thank you all for helping me calm down. It really did help.” Cybil let them know.
“No problem. We are here for you, no matter what.” Crowley told her. Cybil smiled.
“I am here for Leah, no matter what, too.” Cybil confirmed.
“Again, I am so sorry for having this happen.” Cybil apologized again.
“Cybil, sweetheart, we understand. No need to apologize.” Aziraphale reassured her. Cybil took another, deep breath.
“Maybe I should start seeing a therapist of some kind.” Cybil suggested out loud.
“Do you think that it could help you?” Leah asked, feeling curious.
“It is worth a try. I am tired of being like this. And it is not my parents’ fault for why I get these attacks. It is the other kids at school that are causing this to happen. I..just feel like that it is going to be the only option for me to try to get help with this. I am going to bring it up with my parents. I am just nervous to do so.” Cybil explained.
“By the way, having a therapist does not make you crazy nor you should think that about yourself.” Crowley let her know. Cybil agreed.
“I just hope that I can find one that will understand my issues.” Cybil said back.
“We will help you in any way we can, along with your parents.” Aziraphale offered.
“Thank you.” Cybil spoke.
“You are welcome, dear.” Aziraphale spoke back. Cybil was able to go back to hanging out with Leah before her parents came to get here.
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Later that night back at he home, Cybil sat with both of her parents in the living room. Cybil was nervous but knew that she had to do this for herself.
“I want to start seeing a therapist. After having that awful panic attack at Leah's house and in front of her parents, I feel like I need to see one.” Cybil suddenly brought up to them.
“Oh?” John asked.
“Yes. I am tired of having these attacks and I feel like I need help with them. Among other things, too.” Cybil replied.
“I mean if that is what you want, we will find you one.” Sherlock told her Cybil could not shake off a certain thought that was in her head.
“Do you both think I am crazy if I do have one?” Cybil needed to know.
“Not at all.” Sherlock answered.
“I agree with your papa. It does not make you crazy to have one.” John seconded. Cybil felt relieved.
“Thank you. I promise that I am doing this because I want to. I do not feel any pressure. I want to help myself get better.” Cybil said.
“We understand, hun. We truly do and we will start on Monday looking for a therapist for you.” John told her.
“I appreciate that so much.” Cybil let him know.
“No problem. We love you.” Sherlock spoke back.
“I love you both, too.” Cybil said back to both of them. It felt nice for Cybil to know that there were multiple people in her life that wanted to help her. She felt so lucky. Now that she has told her parents this, she just needs to wait a little longer until they find her one.
“ I know things are going to be okay. I just need to take this one day at a time. ” Cybil thought. It is not going to be easy for Cybil but taking the step to seek what she needs for herself is a big accomplishment in itself. Sherlock and John are proud of their daughter.
Very proud of her.
The End