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"Thermobaric bombs don't typically burn people, but it could swallow up all our remaining oxygen and the shock waves could displace all our organs and crush our bones and lungs."
- Bluebird Gleeson
***
If there is one thing Blue knows from their time at NCIS thus far, it's that Agent Michelle Mackey isn't afraid of anything.
Her icy composure is something of legend, like Joan of Arc or Elizabeth Blackburn. Tough as a kangaroo when its joey is threatened, but there are moments: tiny slips in her facade where the curtain drifts off center, revealing the softness beneath. Like when she spotted that pregnant woman from across the room- heaving chest and swollen belly, respiratory rate at a frightening pace of 78 bpm. Her eyes had softened almost immediately; a natural instinct to protect. Which made perfect sense.
NCIS agent. Military woman.
The boss to end all bosses: literally, in this case.
Evie's voice breaks through the haze, "who likes honey on pizza? It's sinful it's just... Dee, it's gross, and sure I ate it, okay. So now you have your proof but it was disgusting, and I did not enjoy it... I didn't, alright? I only took it because I- I didn't want to... I wanted us to be like how we were before, I mean, and I-"
Mackey's silhouette dips low.
"What are you doing?" Blue vaguely hears as the figures blend together. "Pizza order... you're a good friend, alright. Keep your head on straight," and the recording is stopped. Mackey's next words are directed downward, comforting as Evie tries to hide her tears. "Yeah, we're going to be... trust them. Trust him, okay? They'll get us... enough resources to figure it out."
"Enough resources?" Evie clutches her necklace with a stilted cry. "Sure Boss, time... how much time... we don't. There isn’t any more time."
Blue's eyes go wide.
Time.
Right- time. How much time? Clock, clock, clock... ten. Ten minutes, ten minutes, be helpful let them know it's-
"Ten minutes!"
They don't mean to yell it, but they do. And then they giggle, because why not? And the giggle continues and grows until it's a full-blown cackle, taking up precious space and air and time. "Ten minutes and we're going to die. Can't believe I'm going to die this way. So anticlimactic and... boring. I'm such a boring person," they joke.
"You're not boring."
Nice of Mackey to try and ease the self-hatred, but Blue knows the truth.
"I'm the boringest. So much boring I can't even hold a gun or handle the dark... darkness. I hate the dark 'n that's cliche 'n boring, and... and..."
"Easy."
Mackey's command is gentle, like a mother's... like what a mother is or is innately supposed to be, not that Blue knows, and the room goes quiet. The dim light shines through the slit in the door. Doesn't matter anymore. Air is the same everywhere at this point, and honestly Blue is too dizzy and nauseous to care. But a small voice breaks the silence and their head clears, slightly.
"I'm sorry."
Evie's words are close. Too close, in fact. Blue can hear her perfectly fine, so she must be... they scramble to find her. She must be here and do within seconds. Evie is next to them, right there, and that's good. Magical, even, but what about the Boss. Where's Boss?
The panic hits them like lightning.
Where's Boss, where's Mackey where is she, where-
"Right here, Bluebird." Mackey grips Blue's hand, winds their fingers tight around hers and pulls them close. "Call me soft, but I figured we may as well die holding hands."
"... wha... what?"
Evie laughs. "Holding hands, silly. It's what mates-" heave of air "-mates do."
Her glee is clearly painful; lips contorted with beads of sweat pooling on her scalp as she slumps against Mackey's other shoulder, all sweaty and dull. She hasn't registered any of the past few minutes, considering she's still rambling, "... for giving you the cold shoulder sometimes. For touching your arm and being short tempered and not helping you when you were scared. God. Just everything. I'm sorry for everything. All of it... and the pizza and for lying about him. I'm- I'm sorry..."
"Evie," Blue whispers. "I think you're delirious," but Evie shakes her head sloppily.
"Uh-uh."
She smiles, eyes closing as she murmurs with compulsion, "Nah. I don't do drugs. Not anymore... m' done with all that, I promise. No more cooking. Hated cooking, didn't like it. Alcohol though..." she trails off with a chuckle, like her love for cocktails is some sort of secret.
The Boss seems to think it's funny.
She's taking Evie's head in her hands and placing her against the wall for better support, murmuring things that will stay forever hidden. A series of words never remembered by anyone ever again, and when she's done, she threads Blue's fingers with hers once more and settles down beside them both.
Her touch is warm as a bath. Soothing, like frothy bubbles dancing across skin.
"I like you a lot," Blue wants to admit. They want to tell her everything. Evie, too. DeShawn, JD, Rosie. Every single one.
"I've never met people like you, really kind. You're all so kind... looking out for me. Dr. Rosie always stocking up on blankets and Dee bringing me boba. Evie always includes me in the conversation and you- you don't yell at me when I deserve it."
Blue swears they hear Mackey answer. Something about boba being more average here than in America. Or better, maybe? And how she doesn't like to raise her voice because it reminds her of something. Blue can't tell what's real and what's fake, so they ramble on like Evie but in their head. Tastefully, where no one but the fates can hear.
"I think we could've been mates... wish we were mates. Friends, I mean. All of us. Would've been nice, you know? If we were..."
The pressure around their hand solidifies into two fingers, held strong into places where Blue knows their circulation is slowing. A curse from the heavens above and they're being shuffled into somewhere safe. Their temple rests against a living body- warm- and sparse gasps of breath fill the space.
"I'm sorry."
A beat goes by, then a groggy complaint, "hmmm. Thought that was my line... you stealing my line, JD? That's rude."
"I should have protected you better. Should have known the second that door closed, should have made you stay behind... you would've saved us. You would have. You're..." Mackey sniffs. "You are valuable to this team, you got that? Eerie... eerie place- able, replaceable. Not replacing- damn it."
She huffs, wasting breath, and Blue agrees. "It's okay, Boss. Words are always hard."
"Mackey," Mackey whispers. "Enough with all the 'Boss' nonsense, both of you. Just... it's Mackey."
Evie and Blue murmur simultaneously, "why?" followed by Evie's slurred, "because we're about to die? That's depressing," and Mackey's eyes soften.
"We're mates, right?" she asks. "Isn't calling people by their name what mates do... think that's a fair concuss- clusion. Uhck." She pounds on her chest. "Conclusion."
Evie taps Mackey's thigh, inadvertently brushing against Blue's head in the process. "You know what I think?" she asks.
"What, Cooper?"
"I think. That you should never use that word ever again."
"... Conclusion?"
A snort. "Nah... Mate," Evie explains. "Is weird coming out of yur mouth, like yur chewing on it wrong or somethin... what if we- I- I mean, what if. Let's play a game. Like girls' night. Girls, gays, 'n they's night. A sleepover, ya'know, since we're about to sleep for forever." She loses it, breaks down into solid chunks of insanity on the floor. "Get it? Forever... DeShawn should be here; he'd love it- love... have loved that. He would have... yeah-"
"Shhh." Mackey helps her back up. "Come on, Champ. There we go." And Blue realizes with a jolt that they've never had a game night before.
They voice their revelation to the room, too tired to keep it private.
"Ooof, boy. Ur missin out, then," Evie answers. Her arms are wrapped around Mackey's waist at this point, gripping her tight as she can manage through hypoxia-induced mania. "Ever hear of twenty questions? Er Mafia or uh- ooh!" She quivers with excitement. "Kiss, marry, kill- Kiss! We should play it. Issa fun game!"
"Seriously? I'm literally your boss."
Evie reminds, "my boss whose 'bout to kick it," which seems to lower Mackey's inhibition.
"This is so inappropriate," she mutters, but the smile is already plastered on her face.
Her hand migrates to Blue's temple to curl and uncurl their hair, no-doubt a way to tether herself to reality. "I get to go first, though. And we all know who I'm killing."
"JD," Blue and Evie say at the same time.
They crack up laughing. There's a minute left on the clock: one last minute of a life Blue's wasted, harping on things that didn't matter and people they'd never speak to again, and they should be scared. Crying or losing it over their inability to control their own death, but Mackey smiles. Michelle Mackey in her 'afraid of nothing' glory smiles. She laughs like she's at peace in this place; flour all over her dress and sweat dripping onto her neck and somehow, Blue thinks, her bravery makes all the difference.
It's infectious, her giggling... spreads easy into every crook of Blue's heart.
They grip Mackey and Evie like there's no tomorrow- because, you know, there isn't- and take one last breath. It's not as hard this time. With a smile on their face and echoes of salvation in the distance, they tilt back their head, release their fear, and do exactly the same.
"I really like you guys," they say.
The response is simple.
"Samsies, Bluebird. A hundo percent samsies."