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Agent had suddenly woken up in the middle of the night. They gasp, feeling like their heart just had an electric shock, but without the pain or grief that would cause them to jolt up, the only thing they could even recall before waking up was them rolling off of a cliff, the dream cutting off before they’d hit the ground.
It felt… weird. Agent doesn’t remember what their dream was about, or if there was even a dream. It must have been shocking enough to wake them up suddenly like this but it didn’t feel any of the nightmares they’ve been having throughout the killing game.
There was no sea of endless flippers surrounding them, no weird visions or memories they don’t recognise, no cries of despair from their friends, or any voices for that matter, no feeling like they were suffocating in the crowd of faceless penguins and most importantly, no sign of Monobert at all. Heck, they’ve haven’t had a nightmare like that ever since they shut him down for good. It must be a sign that things are looking up, right? Having a presumably normal nightmare counts as an improvement, right?
Regardless, it’s still annoying that they woke up like this. Agent lifts themself up using the back frame of the couch they’re sleeping on to look around. It must have been very early in the morning because it was still very dark, the only light guiding them was the blue sky peeking from the window. Dot is still asleep in her bed, and so are Bouncer, Loop and Chill.
Agent sighs quietly, and laid back down on the couch, they really need to go back to sleep, especially after today; they need all the sleep they can get. But before they could close their eyes, they heard some muffled sobs from somewhere within the igloo, causing Agent to sit up once again.
They look around frantically, trying to figure out if they’re not imagining anything from how tired they are. But no, someone is crying right now, very faint and soft crying, but it’s so quiet at this time of night that it’s a lot easier to notice. Agent shifts their body and quietly gets up from the couch. They really don’t want to wake anyone else up, but they’re the only one that can comfort whoever is crying right now.
Agent tilts their head in the direction of where Dot is sleeping, checking her first, only to hear nothing from her. That means the crying must be coming from the Elite Puffles. They then slowly tip toe towards the puffle beds lined up on the other side of Dot’s bed and couch.
The closer they got to the beds, the more they’d notice one of the blankets had been shaking while the crying from it was more and more audible. Chill’s bed is the one shaking, so it must be her that’s crying. Agent felt their heart sink, thinking what could have caused him to cry like this at night.
They then laid themself on the floor, as close as they could comfortably get to Chill’s bed and also to not scare her too much when they wake him up. They gently lift the blanket over Chill’s face, which causes her to jump.
‘Chi!’
‘Sorry for scaring you buddy. Are you okay?’ Agent spoke gently.
‘Ch-Chill…’ Chill sobbed while shaking his head? Body? Regardless, she seemed to be shaken by something.
‘D-Did… did you have a nightmare little buddy?’ Agent reached out to him with their flipper, brushing away the tears on Chill’s face, which had frozen into little drops and specks of ice on the puffle.
‘C-Chi. Chi…’ Chill nodded, which just looked like she was bobbing his head up and down.
‘Aw, c’mere buddy.’ Agent reached out and picked Chill up slowly and gently from her bed.
They gave him a floor hug, holding her and lightly brushing her white fur and patting his ear muffs. Chill gently nuzzled her face on the top of Agent’s beak, while quietly bawling. Agent had to do everything to not also start crying along with Chill, don’t want to make him more upset than already.
After a few minutes of staying close. Chill bounces away from Agent’s flippers, Agent moves their flippers under their neck to be more comfortable. Chill looks up at them and gives them a sad smile.
‘You’re going to be okay buddy.’ Agent softly spoke, trying to give him a reassuring smile
‘A-And. If anything tries to hurt you, we’ll protect you, I promise.’
‘Chi. Chi…’ Chill whispered while looking down. Poor little buddy was still a little shaken but it looked like she believed their words.
‘Anyway uh, the both of us should really get back to sleep soon.’
Chill nodded. He then crawled back onto her bed and adjusted the blanket over him.
‘You’re okay with sleeping on your own buddy?’ Agent asked, tilting their head.
‘Ch-Chill.’ Chill nodded. But she still seemed anxious about going to sleep again.
‘Are you um, sure little buddy?’ Agent asked again, now looking very worried for Chill.
‘Chill.’ Chill replied, nodding again.
‘Well alright. Um…’ Agent mumbled. They didn’t want to leave Chill alone like this. If they let Chill go to sleep on her own, leading him to have another nightmare, they don’t think they could forgive themself. They should at least try to comfort her more. Anything.
‘D-Do you… want me to sing you a song?’ Agent asked.
‘Chi?’ Chill’s eyes lit up. She seemed to like that idea!
‘Y-Yeah! I can do that for you. Um…’ Agent paused. They didn’t actually know what song to sing to Chill, or even where this idea came from.
Oh right. Dot did that exact thing a few days ago and they remember sleeping not long after she started singing. And it was because Paige used to sing to the Elite Puffles to help them all go to sleep. Chill and the other puffles probably haven’t heard that song in a while so maybe, they could do that?
But… How does that song go again?
…
‘When you are down, I'll be there to help you find your way.’
Agent opened their beak and began to sing. They don’t fully remember the lyrics to this song, but somehow, the words came out of them without thinking.
‘No need to frown, The sky is the limit and tomorrow is a new day.’
They are far from confident in their own singing voice, it felt a tiny bit embarrassing to be doing this even when it’s only them and Chill listening. Their voice is low and raspy, more so because of how tired they are right now. But they let themself continue singing.
‘This special world, Allows all of our wildest dreams to come true. Don't give up yet. There's so much for us to see and do.’
Chill’s eyes looked like they were getting heavy. But she looked relaxed and happy. He hasn’t been in the EPF for as long as the others, but she still loved listening to this song as much as them. Or at least Agent could tell he loved it. Agent closed their eyes as they kept going. Letting their voice take them where they need to go.
‘This special world, Allows all of our wildest dreams to come true. Don't give up yet.’
Any anxiety about their poor singing had seemingly faded away if only for this small moment. This song felt… really nice to both listen to and sing. They don’t remember the last time they heard this song outside the killing game. Despite that, it felt like they’ve known this song their whole life. No wonder they quickly conked out when Dot sang this.
‘Because I'll be there to waddle on with you.’
…
After Agent had finished, they opened their eyes and noticed Chill was fast asleep, a small smile on the puffle’s face as she slept peacefully. Wow that song really does help, or at least they hope it does. They hope Chill is going to get a nice sleep until the upcoming morning.
Agent smiled at the sleeping puffle, but as they were about to sit up, their vision went blurry suddenly and their face felt… wet? They went to touch their cheek to check what was happening until it hit them.
They were… crying? When did they start crying? They were fine moments ago, and they’re fine now. So why is their body having a mind of its own and started… crying?! They begin wiping their eyes but more keep coming out. It was then that the rest of their body caught up on them, their flippers started trembling, their breathing shaky and their head began to spin.
Agent frantically glanced around themself, wiping the tears that keep flooding their eyes to get a better look. Neither Dot or the puffles have woken up over their sniveling yet so they should get back to the couch and figure out a way to stop their crying right now while not waking anyone else up. They then quietly but quickly crept their way back onto their couch and slid under the covers.
Agent whimpered while pressing their face against their pillow to muffle their ragged breathing. They really, really don’t need this right now. They’ve already spent a good few hours crying uselessly today and they are doing it again only a few hours later! They promised Sam and Amy to not burden them with their distracting emotions and they can’t even keep the promise to themself! Why the hell are they so… sensitive?!
… It was because of the song, wasn’t it.
That song… The last thing they heard before going to sleep while holding Klutzy in their flippers… Their final happy memory with Klutzy… That song…
It’s a really nice song too. A nice optimistic melody meant to cheer anyone up. But all it’s doing now is bringing them pain, taking them back to that morning in the Ski Lodge. They’ve already accepted that he’s dead and yet here they are getting upset over it once again.
Selfish… They’re making Klutzy’s sacrifice about themself… They did and said some horrible things to Sam and Amy while they were intoxicated in their grief. They still remember the shock on their faces after they exploded on them, Amy looked really, really hurt by their words in particular.
They apologised many, many times to them and it still didn’t feel like enough. The both of them have done nothing but be kind to them and that’s how they decided to treat them… Klutzy saved their life. And… that’s how they honored it?! And they still have the gall to cry over all of this like they’re the victim?!
But… They never actually cried all day though. They did in the Command Coach, but that was all in a fake simulation. It felt real, yes, their face steamed with so many tears and their eyes were hurting even after exiting the simulation. But no tears were shed at all, their face was completely dry when they came back to reality.
Is their body just… catching up on them? Letting out the emotions and guilt that were flooding their unconscious mind hours ago? Is… that what’s going on with them?
…
Agent sat up on the couch. They closed their eyes, grabbing onto their tie and began to gently fiddle with it. They breathed in, and then out as they let the tears roll down their face, only focusing on their breathing. It’s something that they learned from meditating with Sensei, and something Dot reminds them to do when they get too stressed, they might as well make use of it now.
They… don’t feel good, it still hurts so much right now, everything hurts so much. But, it feels just a little relieving to let the emotions out steadily instead of letting it burst after trying to hold more than they are able to carry.
… Maybe they do need to let themself cry after all…
…
After the longest couple of minutes of their life, Agent opened their eyes again. They have a pretty bad headache now but their thoughts are more clear. Their eyes are no longer spilling tears, and now they’re just left with very tired eyes and a drenched face. They can’t tell if they’ve calmed down or they just feel numb, but they feel better, now that it’s all out of their system.
They looked around themself once again. Dot and the puffles were still sleeping, unaware of their breakdown. Agent was used to dealing with stuff like this alone in their igloo. While they were technically on their own right now, they were still surrounded by loved ones, still alive and breathing along with them.
It just… felt nice being in their presences, even if they didn’t want to wake any of them up and bother them with their issues. They kinda wish Chill did snuggle with them before instead of going back to her bed, but it’s what he felt comfortable with right now.
Agent thought about that song once again. And then back to when they were cuddling Klutzy, right before his death. They were happy at that moment. They were stressed out prior to that, because of Jet Bot and Klutzy’s own injury. But they felt happy at that moment. It felt like a cruel joke.
They still remember holding Klutzy’s lifeless body. The coldness of his frozen shell is going to haunt them for the rest of their life. They also still remember when they held Klutzy in the Command Coach. A hollow assortment of ones and zeros in a fake world, only barely able to imitate the warmth of life.
But at that moment, He was warm, cozy and relaxed. They hope he was at least happy before he teleported away. Happy that they got to be together before it was all over.
… Agent reached into their tie and pulled out the scrap of that beach ball. The beach ball they and Klutzy played with only just a week ago. They looked at Dot, the one who found and gave them that scrap when they were at their lowest.
They then looked at Bouncer, Loop and Chill once again. They and the rest of the Elite Puffles winded up saving their rump from the execution. And it was because of Klutzy’s sacrifice that they all managed to save them in the nick of time.
Everyone in this igloo had saved their life in some way.
…
Agent held the ball scrap to their chest, borderline hugging it.
‘... Th-thanks for everything little buddy… I hope you’re resting well…’
They then gently put the scrap back in their tie and laid back down on their couch. They finally let themself relax and close their eyes.
His death hasn’t been easy to deal with since the almost three days it had happened. They know it’s going to be a very long time until those scars heal, along with the other deaths of their friends. But they are ready to start looking forward once again.
There’s still a lot that needs to be done. And they aren’t entirely sure if things will be okay in the morning. But they had to at least strive for a better future for the sake of the loved ones they still have.
The sky is the limit and tomorrow is a new day.
That’s one thing they’ll never forget as long as they’re still here.