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❀
Kaoru looked beautiful like this.
Sat by the window in an empty classroom, glasses perched on his nose that usually stayed in his bag, golden eyes glistening in the afternoon sun, his sakura hair backlit and glowing as if he were blessed by the god of light. He had a book open on his propped up knees, and from his position in the doorway Kojiro could just about see his eyes following the words, could see his mouth subtly moving around the words, his pretty, sharp eyebrows drawn together just above his nose. A shoe was tapping on the back of the chair it was resting on, absentminded as he thought, a twin finger tapping the side of the pages. The spring had softened out his fair skin a little too, their skating from the weekend making him that bit less pale but no less beautiful than he had been beforehand.
Kojiro wanted to run his fingers across his fair skin, through his glowing hair, over his bitten lips.
If he did, he knew Kaoru would jump out of skin; there was a very good chance he didn’t know he was stood there — watching, studying — lost in his own world. And he knew, if he did, Kaoru wouldn’t appreciate his love much anyway.
“Nanjo-sama?” A voice called from down the hall, coaxing him to turn and hum. It was a girl from one of his classes, her name being one he couldn’t quite recall but he did remember they’d worked on a project together the week prior. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Um, sure,” Kojiro replied, watching as she shuffled on her feet, tucking a hair behind her ear, “Is everything alright?”
“Well— I just— I wondered if you wanted to go on a date with me.” She stuttered out, her face flushing a deeper red, and Kojiro had to hold in his sigh.
He’d given up on dates a couple months ago, when he realised the girls were having a lot more fun than he was, not that he’d quite figured out why yet.
Not to mention he was skating with Kaoru all week, getting their practice in for the competition they were holding on the Sunday with the local skating group; Kaoru’s skills had improved drastically since they’d started only a year ago, and he’d even started testing different hairstyles to keep his hair out of his face whenever he needed that extra bit of focus. Not to mention that tell-tale look in his eyes, exhilaration and excitement that Kojiro had never seen on him before, a joy that stemmed from a fear of falling behind, both literally and figuratively.
Kojiro enjoyed watching Kaoru skate; he looked happy, content.
“Um, Nanjo-sama?”
“Ah,” Kojiro managed out, snapping back to the real world and noticing the very real and very nervous look on the girl’s face in front of him, “Sorry, um— I have plans all week.”
“How about next week?”
“You know, I’m a pretty busy man—“
“Afternoon, Yoshida-san,” Kaoru interrupted, and Yoshida immediately squeaked, as if she hadn’t realised he was there, turning wide-eyed to face a very smug-looking Kaoru, his toned arms crossed over his chest, tugging a little at the buttons of his shirt. His glasses had been removed, much to Kojiro’s dismay, and his eyebrows were now raised in partial questioning and partial judgement as he leaned a little into Kojiro’s space, “I think what Kojiro is trying to say is no.”
“I— huh?”
“Kaoru,” Kojiro whisper-shouted, the man paying him no mind, only smiling a little more at his contempt, a familiar smile line on his cheek beginning to form that looked akin to a dimple, “I was trying to be nice about it.”
“And it wasn’t working.” Kaoru admonished, waving a dismissive hand and letting the other move to rest on his hip, levelling Yoshida with his look of ‘leave before I make you’.
She managed out a quick, “Apologies, Nanjo-sama.” Before skittering off down the hall back the way she came, nothing more than a blur of movement.
“Honestly, gorilla,” Kaoru sighed out, but when Kojiro turned to face him again he could see his smile, amused and alive; he honestly felt a bit breathless looking at him, drowning in him, “You need to be more straightforward. These girls will find any excuse to string you on until you agree.”
“I know that,” Kojiro mumbled, because it had happened far too many times to count, because too many girls had lured him to behind the bike shed and sucked his face out, and he’d felt too bad to turn them down. “But kindness goes a long way.”
“Yeah, in preschool, idiot.”
“Shut up, moron!”
“Who are you calling—?!”
“I’m just saying,” Kojiro emphasised, watching Kaoru begin to walk down the hallway and following him, leaning slightly down and over to see Kaoru’s face, a familiar mixture of annoyance and endearment, “That it wouldn’t kill you to be a little nicer.”
“Oh? So you’d rather I be nice to you?” Kaoru emphasised, and no that wasn’t what Kojiro had said at all. Though he wondered what that would be like, what they would be like, if Kaoru had opted for compliments instead of insults. “Fine, I’ll be nice.”
“Wait, no, hold on—“
And Kaoru wrapped his arms around Kojiro’s bicep, blinking innocently up at a very flustered Kojiro, his pierced lip downturned in a pout as his hair fell a little into his face.
Kojiro had the urge to tuck it behind his ear, to run his fingers over his freckles and match them up like the stars in the sky, to lean down and—
“You look so handsome today, Kojiro.”
“Stop that.” Kojiro scowled, feeling himself redden even more and turning his face away to hide it.
Except that didn’t work for much longer, not with Kaoru extracting an arm to place a delicate, soft hand against his jaw, turning it to face him as he leaned his head against his shoulder. “What’s wrong, baby? Am I being too nice to you?”
“Yes!” Kojiro squeaked back, walking a little faster down the hall and knowing Kaoru was easily matching his pace, smirking. “I wasn’t talking about with me, I meant others—“
“Oh honey, I’ll be nice to them too, don’t you worry your pretty, big head about it,” Kaoru almost promised, if it wasn’t for that mischievous glint in his gorgeous, golden eyes. “Now, how about we go out for some dinner tonight? I’ll pay as a special treat for my special man.”
“I hate this.” Kojiro groaned, glad to hear Kaoru cackle beside him, the hand moving away from his face but the other staying firmly in place, a hand resting now only on his elbow. He did turn to see him though, all smiles and amusement and bright pink bouncing hair, his piercing exposed to the sun and glinting, typically accentuating that glow of his eyes that now remained firmly shut, unable to see Kojiro as he watched, open-mouthed.
“Baby I wouldn’t do it if you didn’t,” Kaoru giggled out, patting Kojiro’s arm with his spare hand before letting go, slipping his hands into his pockets instead, “Now hurry up you meathead, I don’t want to be late to English.”
“Yes four-eyes.”
❀❀
Kaoru looked beautiful like this.
His sakura hair was a tad dishevelled from the plane ride over, and his golden eyes were a little sunken, but he had that tell-tale excited glint to them, paired with his nervous fiddling with his forest green kimono as he tightened his grip on his suitcase. He was shorter, too, and had to look very slightly up to meet Kojiro’s heavy gaze, his jawline refined and his glasses perched easily on his nose without shame. Not to mention his severe lack of piercings, nothing left to blink in the light but his irises and his bitten lips and himself, a breathing embodiment of everything the sun deigned to shine its light on.
“Hey.” Kojiro managed to breathe out, and Kaoru blinked, beautiful pink eyelashes meeting as a small red blush dusted his cheeks.
“Hey.” He replied, aureate eyes flicking between Kojiro’s, tucking the hair he so desperately wanted to touch behind his own ear, fingers grazing the almost healed earring holes. “I look a mess don’t I?”
“A complete mess.” Kojiro agreed with a grin, offering an arm. “May I escort you to your vehicle, Sakurayashiki-sensei?”
Kaoru had never been quicker to stomp on his foot and bat his arm away, blushing furiously, but it only made Kojiro laugh. “You can carry my bag for me.”
“Why? Did you pack a boulder?”
“Only a gorilla like you would be stupid enough to do such a thing.” Kaoru scowled, holding the suitcase out to Kojiro who took it without a word, surprised to find it was actually rather light for once. Kaoru then scanned him up and down almost with scrutiny, his mouth wrinkling into a displeased frown, and Kojiro couldn’t help his chuckle again. “Speaking of.”
“I’ve always been working out,” Kojiro huffed, flexing his spare arm to a still disgusted Kaoru, “I just started taking it seriously.”
“Now I see why I had to come to you. They’d have to put you in cargo.”
“You know that’s not the reason.”
Kojiro wanted Kaoru to see a place he was starting to view as a second home. Kojiro wanted Kaoru to meet the people that have helped him over his past year being in the country, before his two years abroad were up and they never got a chance to. Kojiro wanted to see Kaoru, but a trip to Japan was simply out of the question for him.
Kojiro had bemoaned about this, and Kaoru had booked the next flight to see him.
“Well, I’m just glad Italy is as pretty as you insisted it to be.” Kaoru hummed as they stepped outside, the harsh sunlight beating down on them, Kaoru’s pale skin practically frying under the sun’s attention. “Bright, too. Explains the tan.”
“Trust me, the ladies love it.” Kojiro scoffed, nudging Kaoru’s shoulder as the man fake gagged.
In truth, they loved it at first. Then they realised all Kojiro talked about was his best friend back home and realised they never had a chance in the first place.
“Well if you don’t have your looks going for you, what do you have?” Kaoru teased, the backhanded compliment translating to a simple compliment in Kojiro’s mind.
Either way, he simply turned to Kaoru and raised an eyebrow, and the man punched him in return.
“Idiot.”
“By the way, all I heard was you’re good looking.”
“That is not what I—“
“No takebacks!”
“We’re not children, you mindless gorilla!”
In all honesty, Kojiro hadn’t expected Kaoru to light up this much around his people. He was hardly struggling with his English, having taken a couple months to study over there in the past year, and he smiled almost as easily as he used to; there was still that familiar restraint, the holding back that wasn’t of his own accord, a lingering remnant of a certain someone, but he seemed relaxed and happy for the first time in years.
A few things had changed about him too, Kojiro realised now that Kaoru had cleaned up a little. He sat a little straighter with his legs firmly together, hands clasped in his lap to hide the calluses that littered them; his laugh was small and polite, only a tad forced, and his eyes didn’t light up the same way they used to; he spoke calmly and directly, rather than the haphazard way Kojiro had been so used to.
“I know you said you weren’t dating,” Ersilia, one of his closest friends he’d made while over there, whispered to him in Italian, Kojiro just humming to say he was listening, “But no one stares at their best friend like that.”
“Hm?” Kojiro replied, blinking, adjusting how he was sat (his chin resting on his palm, leaning over the table, being careful not to fall into his food).
“Joe, look at me,” she whispered then, and Kojiro finally dragged his eyes away from Kaoru to look at her, taking in the seriousness in her eyes. “You need to tell him.”
“Tell who what?” Kojiro asked with a frown, unable to help his confusion, sensing familiar golden eyes watching them from across the way for a moment before they moved away again.
Ersilia then took to flicking his forehead, making him yelp and clutch his completely unharmed head, pouting.
“Tell Sakurayashiki you’re in love with him.”
And all Kojiro could do was gape.
“In… what? I’m not—“
“You’re not fooling anyone,” Ersilia told him, and that only confused him more; he wasn’t in love, let alone with Kaoru. But she seemed so certain not only that he loved him but that he needed to do something about it. It was then Kaoru’s chuckle that brought him out of his thoughts, light and quiet and so different to what it used to be, and Kojiro could almost picture his face, a reserved sort of smile on his features with his glasses slipped down his sharp nose a little, a single strand of hair having fallen into his face from the light movement, eyes crinkled but the gold still slightly visible, pink eyelashes curving upwards in a natural way that, for others, could only be the work of a curler. “Before he was here, he was all you could talk about, and now that he’s here you can’t talk because you spend all of your time gazing lovingly at him.”
“Oh I do not—“
“I can hear your thoughts, Kojiro Nanjo. Oh he’s so pretty, wow look at his hair.”
“That’s not what I’m thinking,” Kojiro mumbled, sipping his wine as Ersilia raised an eyebrow, apparently not buying it. “I’m thinking about…”
How he glows.
How he shines.
How he is everything I’ve ever wanted and everything I can never have.
“Skateboarding.”
“Why are you being so difficult? Just ask him out, it’s not like he’ll say no!”
“I don’t want to ask him out—“
“That’s not what your eyes say, Joe.” She scowled, pointing at him with a very serious frown that gave him the feeling he should actually listen to what she had to say. But… in love, with Kaoru? The most obnoxious, annoying, uptight man he’d ever met? He could never fall for a man so outrageous. “Have a think, okay? A good, long think about what he means to you. And then confess. You look like you’re suffering and you don’t even know it.”
She didn’t say anything else after that, nor did she give him a chance to reply, immediately switching back to English and talking to the wider group once more.
Kojiro didn’t miss the concerned and curious look Kaoru gave him, giving him a reassuring smile and a shrug to show him everything was alright (even if he didn’t believe it) before jumping into the conversation too, his own English very choppy and likely heavily accented.
But, just as Ersilia had asked him to, Kojiro went home that evening, made sure Kaoru was all set for the night, went to bed, and let himself truly think with the comfort of a soft blanket of darkness around him.
Kaoru was overly obnoxious with everything he did, always smirking when Kojiro fell off of his skateboard or missed a trick. He was annoying whenever he could be, constantly insulting Kojiro and matching him sentence for sentence, word for word. And he was uptight, especially recently with the money flowing in from his comissions and his growing status back in Okinawa, and he liked to act all pish posh but when he was around Kojiro he returned to the person he’s always been — loud but calm, happy and bright, a constant reassurance that Kojiro wasn’t alone, that they were in this life together.
And he was pretty, objectively — his eyes shone like the sun that highlighted his hair and curves, and he suited every outfit he’d ever tried on, and Kojiro could (and had) spent days mapping out every line, every dot, every corner of his features.
And he was kind, in the small, important ways; if Kojiro was upset, he would cheer him up, give him a shoulder to lean on; if Kojiro needed someone to bounce ideas off of, he welcomed every word, every idea, and supplied some solutions of his own; if Kojiro missed home, he sent him photos of their hometown, of the local skating community, and videos from his parents that still hadn’t figured out how to use phones yet.
And he was intelligent, and confident, and everything else that Kojiro struggled to be, everything he didn’t need to be because Kaoru would always be there to support him, to hold him, to—
To…
Kojiro groaned into his pillow, tugging the other over the top and screaming just a tad into the fabric.
Ersilia was right.
He was hopelessly, irrevocably in love with his best friend.
But she had been wrong about one thing.
There was absolutely no way he could know.
So he took his feelings, gathered them all together, packed them into a neat little pink box in his brain, and shoved it right to the back of his mind.
And promptly spent the rest of the night tossing and turning and regretting every life decision he’d ever made.
❀❀❀
Kaoru looked beautiful like this.
All dressed up in his new and improved Cherry outfit, his most recent Carla model placed in his eyes and replacing his usual contacts he wore when skating, a white kimono with purple accents around the neck and arms, a black mask covering his sharp nose and perfectly soft lips, his hair braided back on both sides of his head with a single, large piece left on the front to keep his usual image. His eyeliner was sharp too, stretching effortlessly across his face and only serving to make him look even prettier, his delicate, thin fingers wrapped around Carla as he picked at his nails on his other hand, ignoring his screaming, adoring fans. The lamp light shone down on him, making his every characteristic that bit warmer, his sakura hair looking almost salmon from the gold tint.
He smirked when a fan screamed with a challenge for a beef, which he declined with a wave of his hand and a spoken, “I’m afraid I don’t race those who aren’t a challenge to me.”
“I am a challenge!”
“Carla seems to disagree. Your turns are flawed, your skills are lacking, and you haven’t won a single race.” Kaoru— Cherry replied, turning to face a grinning Joe, who had approached while he was talking and was now stood very close to him, a hand resting on his hip as he tilted his head a tad. His own outfit was less extravagant than Cherry’s own, but he knew it got people to watch him — watch them — which was more than enough. It seemed, even that day, Cherry seemed to be struggling to keep his eyes away, his irises constantly flicking down before he finally levelled Joe with an unimpressed look. “What do you want, ape?”
“A beef,” he replied, watching Cherry scoff but not hearing it over the vast array of cheers. The founders only beefed a few times a year, and it was typically for some reason or other, never out of the blue like this — but this was Joe making a point, this was Joe trying his best to ignore his every feeling and tamp them down, satiate them. “I’m a good challenge, am I not?”
“I don’t think so,” Cherry huffed, but Joe had already seen Carla’s light pulsing in Cherry’s hand, having taken Joe’s question into consideration already, “You’re far too useless on the track, I’ve beat you countless times, all you have going for—“
“Joe the imbecile is the best challenge for Cherry at S.” Carla interrupted, sending the crowd silent to listen to her conclusion, “His skating style directly contradicts your own, which implies you will have the most fun when skating against him. In previous matches, you have tied ten times, Joe has won nineteen matches and you, Master, have won eighteen. Additionally, after racing Joe, your happiness levels have increased drastically—“
“Fine! Fine. Thank you, Carla, you’ve proved your point.” Cherry bit out, breathing a sigh of relief when she turned back to her usual, uninterrupted purple, Joe unable to help his loud laugh. “I suppose I have no choice now.” Cherry sighed, and the crowd erupted again, but Joe saw the small speck of amusement in his almost unnoticeable smile, the excitement.
And Kojiro remembered their first time skating, the first time Kaoru fallen off of his board. He’d always been annoying about cuts and scrapes, he said it made him look improper and people tended to view him worse when he was bashed up, so Kojiro made sure to be by his side at once, checking his arm over where it had hit the concrete.
And Kaoru had laughed.
Loud and happy and excited, and grabbed his hand, Kojiro wasting no time in lifting him back to his feet, making sure his grip was strong enough for Kaoru not to fall back.
For the remainder of the day, he wore a small smile, excitement and amusement rippling through him and presenting itself in a way that only Kojiro could notice.
“The stakes,” Joe started, pointing an almost accusatory finger at Cherry, who raised a daring eyebrow right back at him, “Is the winner can ask one thing of the other.”
“Oh?” Cherry replied, stepping a little closer, and Joe was so glad there was a loud crowd around them because he was sure, if there wasn’t, that Cherry would hear his rapid heartbeat and grow suspicious. “What does a gorilla such as you want from me?”
“You’ll see.” Joe returned, leaning a little further forward, seeing every flake in Kaoru’s eyes from where he stood just slightly over him; close enough to see the couple of freckles that danced up his nose, the chequered skin of his face, the closed piercing holes on his ears.
And then he stepped back and made way for the start line, leaving and trusting Joe to follow which he did without issue, trailing behind him and adjusting his board in his hand, watching Kaoru’s sandalled feet pad along the dirt floor and watching his spare arm swish at his side, muscles peeking through lean limbs.
Focus, Kojiro.
The race started as most races did with them, fast and neck and neck, a lot of tricks from Joe’s end and a lot of refined turns from Cherry’s. As always, the crowd roared around them, and Joe felt that familiar sense of exhilaration, watching it light up Cherry’s eyes in turn.
It ended as quick as it started, with Cherry crossing the line just before him, winning by only an inch. The replay came courtesy of the large screen and Carla, who confirmed the exact distance; Cherry took a steadying breath before looking up at Joe, who simply shrugged and held out a hand, a hand that was slapped away and grabbed by the wrist.
Once dragged away (a little too quickly, in Joe’s opinion), Cherry spun and pointed at him, and Joe knew he was smirking from how his eyes pinched at the corners, his mask being tugged at a little on his cheeks. “Come with me to Paris.”
“What?”
“That’s my request. I have this huge work event and I need a plus one.”
“You… do realise I’d do that without a beef right?” Kojiro replied, watching confliction flicker in Kaoru’s eyes, the man scrunching his eyebrows together adorably.
“Then do this for me anyway and I’ll claim when I feel it’s appropriate.” Kaoru huffed, seeming almost proud of himself, but then Kojiro just shrugged, smiling easily.
He’d do anything for Kaoru, especially if it kept that look on his face.
“Good. And take your time, don’t waste it on something useless like that.” Kojiro replied, walking back and grabbing Kaoru’s arm, the man squawking with immediate protest. “Now come along, princess, the show’s not over.”
“Let go of me you imbecile— you stupid meat headed gorilla— I’m going to fucking kill—“
“Don’t get ahead of yourself precious, you still need a date to Paris.” Joe hummed, letting, for once, his arm wrap more softly around Cherry’s, watching the man pause and stare at it for a moment, for once wearing an expression that was unreadable. His golden eyes flashed with something, and the stressed skin between his perfect eyebrows was tugged tight, and the mask certainly didn’t help Kojiro’s evaluation. Before he could figure it out, Cherry sighed and looked back forward, not extracting his arm.
Kojiro took it as a win, and hoped, vaguely, that Kaoru wouldn’t notice how he stared at him that bit longer.
❀❀❀❀
Kaoru looked beautiful like this.
His lips moved purposefully and rhythmically as he spoke, his hands folded in front of him as he sat upright, his brushed hair down as it typically was when he was working, not a single knot in sight, not a strand obstructing his vision. His outfit was a lilac and black yukata, a single flower necklace around his slim neck, his legs crossed over each other under the table. The table he’d chosen was the usual one for when he brought clients with him, rather than the other way around, by a window where the sun shone through throughout the day and made for an intimate space in the evening.
This particular client was young, a woman with her hair tied into a bun on the top of her head, wearing a western blue suit and using a notebook to show Kaoru whatever she was talking about.
Usually, when with clients, Kaoru had a hint of annoyance in his aureate eyes, but today it was non existent, the man nodding along as she spoke. Except he wasn’t smiling either, so he supposed she was still doing something wrong.
“Uh, you alright boss?” One of his waiters, Himari, asked, her voice cautious as if she was approaching a wild animal.
“Of course, why do you ask?”
“You’ve been wiping that wine glass for five minutes,” she observed, slowly extracting the glass and cloth from Kojiro’s vice grip and placing them on the counter, studying him carefully, “She’s just a client, and I’m sure Sakurayashiki-sensei would never cheat on you.”
“I know she’s just a— what?”
“That’s what you’re worried about right?” She asked, not giving Kojiro a chance to rebut before saying, “He loves you too much to ever be with anyone else, trust me.”
“He… what?” Kojiro asked again, unable to do much else than gape at her, watching the uncertainty finally settle into her eyes.
“You are dating, right?”
“No!” Kojiro yelled back, a few patrons turning to face them (including Kaoru and his client, Kaoru looking a little alarmed at his raised voice, his eyes asking if he was okay, his eyebrows raised in shock, his mouth ever-so-slightly agape which only served in making his lips look more kissable). It convinced Kojiro to move into the storage room, Himari following and standing in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest almost in scrutiny.
“How are you not dating?” She practically demanded, and all Kojiro could do was groan, running a hand down his face. “All you do is talk about him, unless he’s here in which you get no work done at all. Poor Aki becomes head chef when Kaoru’s here with a client!”
“But what about him?” Kojiro asked after a moment, watching confusion cross her face, as if she didn’t quite understand the question. So, he said, “Sure I’m in love with him, but he’s not… there’s no way he is.”
“There’s no way— what? Do you hear yourself, Nanjo-sensei?”
“I’m not sure what you’re implying.”
“I’m implying that maybe he’s in love with you too.”
“Maybe’s not good enough.” Kojiro mumbled, taking a pot of spices and fiddling with the cap, Himari studying him from the doorway.
For a couple seconds, the room was silent. For a couple seconds, Kojiro let himself pretend he wasn’t terribly in love with his best friend. “Whatever.” Himari muttered, sighing and moving away from the door. “What would I know anyway? It’s not as if I’ve been in a relationship for the past seven years of my life with my best friend— oh wait.”
“Point made, I’ll get back to work.”
“Good, because Aki’s throwing up in the staff bathroom.”
Kojiro gaped, immediately following her back into the kitchen, finding it to be just his chefs, no leader in sight. Half of them sighed in relief to see him back and with his senses, the other half were too busy trying to get the food finished up to notice he was back. “And that wasn’t the first thing you told me why?”
“There were more important matters at hand.” Himari shrugged, taking the plates for her table from the countertop, thanking the chef that made them up for her. “Think about it.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
When Kojiro finally finished up, he peeked his head into the main area, and found it to be Kaoru-less, the man having not stuck around as he usually did.
He tried his best not to be too disappointed or too hopeful, but he still found himself cooking a carbonara that night for an empty chair, a half empty wine glass placed mockingly beside it.
❀❀❀❀❀
Kaoru looked beautiful like this.
Even in his light blue hospital robes, even with a bandage wrapped around his skull, even with a plaster on his face and his glasses askew. His pink hair was a little knotted, as highlighted by the overhead lights, with strands falling likely uncomfortably over his gorgeous face, his lips parted slightly as he snored, and the sharpness of his jaw and nose were only accentuated by the shadows around him. An arm was being subconsciously used to prop himself up, but the position didn’t look exactly comfortable.
Kojiro had the urge to pick him up and hold him, take him to a more comfortable place where he wouldn’t wake up with an aching neck.
In that moment, he couldn’t help but think of Adam, what with the permanent marks he’d carved into Kaoru’s body and soul, not only hospitalising him but destroying every ounce of happiness he’d ever felt with that wretched smile of his. That smile that Kaoru had fallen to easily for, he’d fallen and he’d kept falling and no one told him that falling from big heights injures you irrevocably.
Because that’s what all of this had been about, hadn’t it?
A small bite of revenge to feel like he gave Adam back an ounce of what he’d given Kaoru, an idea of the pain he’d put him through, only for his plan to backfire.
Literally.
But… was that really all it was about?
Was that beef just a futile attempt at revenge?
Or was it something more? Something deeper? Something inescapable that had Kaoru feeling like he had to skate it, that if he didn’t he would suffer more.
And then Kojiro wondered if he’d skated it for himself, to prove that he could go head-to-head with the man who’d crumpled and destroyed every last piece of him, to prove a piece of who he once was still remained.
Which, to Kojiro, seems absurd; he sees tiny parts of every Kaoru in him, snippets of who he used to be and who he continues to be, every day without fail. He sees that same smile he wore when they first met, mischievous and teasing; he hears him correct clients on incorrect information, just as he used to do in middle school; he watches him present his calligraphy pieces like he did in highschool, no matter how insignificant they were.
But Kaoru had always hated the idea that people change, maybe Kojiro had played a part in that, being almost the same person he had been even before Italy, before Paris, before girls and restaurants and holding back every word that threatened to fall out. Kaoru hated the idea that people change, and he refused to believe Adam had changed, not into a new person but back into the person he’d always been rather than his attractive persona.
Without thinking, Kojiro tucked a loose hair behind Kaoru’s ear, watching him shift and his cute nose scrunch up like it did when he was minorly inconvenienced, but he knew Kaoru wouldn’t wake up — he struggled to fall asleep anywhere, let alone somewhere that wasn’t a bed, so if he’d managed to drop off there would be no waking him back up again. So, Kojiro finished his wine and downed Kaoru’s, letting himself feel the burn at the back of his throat before standing and stretching, arms above his head.
Then, he leaned down and carefully lifted Kaoru into his arms, just as he had the night before, and tried very hard to keep his heart under control when the man’s head lolled onto his shoulder, his nose brushing his neck and his breath dusting his skin.
“Oh, Kaoru,” Kojiro found himself mumbling, carrying him to the stairs that led up to his apartment, unable to take his eyes off of his best friend’s troubled expression, slowly removing his glasses and tucking them into his own pocket, watching his features immediately soften, “What did he do to you?”
The man shifted in his arms, muttering incoherent noises under his breath, sniffing and huffing and shifting again, a loose hand reaching out to grasp Kojiro’s uniform.
Even at his worst, Kaoru didn’t fail to be the most beautiful person Kojiro had ever had the displeasure to meet.
Because Kaoru was loud, and annoying, and obnoxious, and far too uptight and bossy and specific, and somehow Kojiro found that he loved it, loved him, every part of him.
Because if Kaoru was yelling at him, or insulting him, or pretending not to know him just to piss him off, it meant that Kaoru had chosen to be there with him, and spend time with him, and Kojiro belatedly realised he wouldn’t want it any other way.
Had never wanted it any other way.
That night, Kojiro made sure Kaoru was comfortable in his double bed, and made his way to the sofa for another fitful, restless night.
But at least Kaoru was there with him.
✿
Kojiro looked beautiful like this.
He was stood by the door, waving his last patrons goodbye and lighting the room up with his wide, toothy grin, his bright white chef’s uniform only aiding his shining. A large hand was raised, making the fabric tug on his far too large muscles, a thread loose by the shoulder where the fabric had been a little too stressed, but Kojiro didn’t seem to mind, shutting and locking the restaurant door as usual. Due to the summer, he was also a tad more tan than usual, with the golden glow of the restaurant only helping him to look more attractive in that respect, his garnet eyes a similar shade to the wine in a way that Kaoru always found himself admiring.
“What’s on the menu today, sunshine?” Kojiro asked as he made his way back over, refilling Kaoru’s wine glass without having to be asked. Not to mention the nickname — Kojiro had been experimenting a lot more recently, meaning Kaoru had had to conceal his far too flustered expression on multiple occasions.
Not to mention the fact that Kojiro was more of the sun than he ever was.
“Surprise me.” Kaoru replied, meaning something interesting that I can form an opinion on, causing Kojiro to hum in thought, averting his gaze to the ceiling in thought. From this angle, Kaoru could see the every line and curve of his neck, his jawline refined and sharp; he wanted to press his lips to his, graze his teeth against it.
“Okay, I’ve got something for you,” Kojiro decided with a smirk, that same smirk that always had Kaoru’s hopeless heart doing kickflips. “Hang tight princess, your food will be right out.” Kojiro assured as he headed into the kitchen, waving a dismissive hand as Kaoru glared at him.
“Don’t you be reheating anything you lazy gorilla!”
“No promises!”
Kaoru just sighed, looking into his wine and finding his own put-together face blinking back at him, his face completely healed from the accident a few weeks prior. During his recovery, Kojiro had been on speed dial, bringing medicine and food and clothes upon request, even taking a long moment to wash Kaoru’s hair for him when he complained about how difficult it was.
Not that he was surprised by Kojiro’s generosity, no, he’d always been kind like that. Kind and selfless and so loveable that Kaoru always had to resist the urge to tug his stupid face into a kiss.
He wasn’t entirely sure when that thought process had started, but he did remember a day in their second year of high school, a girl whose name he couldn’t recall asking Kojiro out; he wasn’t sure why Kojiro had been stood in the doorway that day, nor why he’d had this look of pure love on his face after she’d asked, but he was glad when Kojiro turned her down because he was spending time with him.
That day was the first time he’d almost kissed him, he had to pull away and remind himself that not only was Kojiro straight but he was also his best friend — relationships destroy friendships, Kaoru of all people knew that.
But then he remembered a night at S a couple years back, Kojiro’s earnest face as he promised to do anything for him, promised him a single act as a reward for winning a beef. He remembered having an arm tucked around his own, and Kojiro’s pure endearment as he watched him, even after they’d stopped speaking and started walking back to the S track; even if he couldn’t see him, Kaoru could feel that heavy gaze on him at all times.
Which he needed to stop before Kaoru over thought himself into a frenzy.
“One caprese chic— Kaoru?”
“You…” Kaoru started, already regretting his thoughts, his decision, every nerve in his body ordering him to stop. The words came anyway. “You still owe me a request.”
Kojiro paused then, moving only to place the plate down and lean over, arms resting on the countertop as he got on the same level as Kaoru, eyes squinted as if he was trying to figure out what he was asking before he could ask it. “From… the beef? Before Paris?”
“You said I could ask one thing of you.” Kaoru reiterated, hands splayed in front of him, eyes flicking nervously between them and Kojiro’s confused and curious eyes, a swirling auburn that suited him in every way possible. “Well I’ve decided what I want to ask you for.”
“Oh yeah? And what might that—“
“A kiss.”
The room fell silent.
Kojiro gaped, face flushed within milliseconds, hair slightly dishevelled from his day in the kitchen, a lick of sweat sticking to his forehead from the heat that lingered in the restaurant after dinner.
So Kaoru cut a piece of his chicken off and ate it, watching Kojiro stutter to find a response, finding he actually quite enjoyed this dish, even with the undertone of fear that came with it.
“You— you want—?”
“I said what I said.” Kaoru returned, cutting another piece of chicken and popping it into his mouth, unable to help his smirk when Kojiro’s flush only deepened. “Unless you’re scared?”
“I’m… not.” Kojiro said, making Kaoru pause then, brows furrowed in confusion. “I’m just… why now? Why— I didn’t know—“
“Well, I might as well make the most of my life if I’m going to be hit by skateboards more often,” Kaoru bit back, still annoyed at Adam’s reappearance the other week, “Stop asking so many questions.”
And, surprisingly, Kojiro did. He rounded the counter, stood in front of him, gently held his waist, and pulled him in for a kiss. A kiss so gentle and loving and somehow strong all the same, as if this was something more than just a favour, as if— as if—
Kaoru didn’t really have time to think before Kojiro was kissing deeper, his tongue sliding along his bottom lip, and Kaoru wasted no time in letting him, tugging him closer by the back of his neck, a hand gripping his hair as he huffed, Kojiro’s breath heavy and hot against his mouth.
And then he pulled away, after what others would call too long but Kaoru would deem not long enough, and his eyes lingered on Kaoru’s lips, likely red and swollen as he licked them, hoping to rid of the feeling but only tasting Kojiro on his tongue.
“Well,” Kaoru started, not daring to take his eyes off of Kojiro as he swallowed, the man’s eyes tracking down his neck and following the movement, eyes erratic akin to a wild animal released from its cage, “I guess that was—“
And he was cut off by lips against his, persistent and hungry, and all Kaoru had the will to do was let him take what he wanted, kissing back just as hard as if trying to prove some non-existent point.
When they broke apart, once again too soon, Kaoru found himself a little more breathless than before, somehow managing out a, “I only asked for one, you know.”
“I know.” Kojiro muttered, eyes lingering on his lips once more before finally flitting up to his eyes, adoring and studious all the same; it was a little overwhelming, the amount of raw emotion a single look could harbour. “I just wanted to kiss you again.”
“You… hold on, shut up.”
“I wasn’t talking—?”
“You wanted to?” Kaoru managed out, leaning into Kojiro’s hand that had made its way to his face, softly rubbing circles into his cheek before tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear, grazing his thumb over his bitten bottom lip.
“I’ve always wanted to,” Kojiro confessed quietly to the space between them, his breaths warm against Kaoru’s damp and swollen lips, his grip on Kaoru’s waist becoming more secure than loose, and he felt his heart swoop. “I was just… scared, I guess.”
“Of what?” Kaoru quietly asked back, smirking, and Kojiro gulped again, eyes constantly flicking between his lips and eyes, as if he wasn’t sure which was a prettier view.
“Of you saying no, or leaving.”
“You know I’d never do that.”
“I know.” Kojiro replied with a small nod, placing a small, tender kiss to Kaoru’s lips before leaning his forehead against the other’s, similar to how they’ve always done but different in so many ways all the same. “I know.”
There was another beat of silence, filled only by Kojiro’s quieting breaths, by the whirring of the fan above them, by the minute creaking of Cherry’s chair that he belatedly realised wasn’t the main thing holding him up anymore.
And then, spoken a tad louder than the previous words, Kojiro admitted, “You look so beautiful like this.” His eyes flicked over Kaoru’s face, as if he was tracing some invisible lines, but Kaoru didn’t let him trace long, leaning up and tugging him down into another kiss.
Because if he didn’t, he knew he’d say it right back.