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It was a Tuesday in mid January when they ran into each other again. (Well, ran into might not be the correct phrase.)
Almost two and a half months had passed since Tommy had broken up with Buck, and after all of the holiday season, Buck was finally starting to grow past it.
It didn’t help that his parents had brought it up when they had come over during Christmas, or that Albert had also come after spending almost three years in Korea, bringing his new fiance to visit the US as well.
But it was all fine, Buck kept telling himself. Sure, his breakup with Tommy was almost as bad as his breakup with Abby, maybe even worse depending on which angle he thought about it from, but he was finally starting to grow past it.
That was until he had run into two of Tommy’s crewmates as he and Chimney were dropping someone off at the ER.
“Hey Buck, you mind waiting a couple minutes while I go to the bathroom real quick?” Chimney asked as he finished handing off the patient to the hospital staff.
“No,” Buck said. “We got time, go ahead,” After the other guys finished up on the last scene they had headed back to the fire house and hadn’t gotten called back out yet. They didn’t really need to be anywhere right now.
As Chimney headed down the hall, Buck leant against one of the walls, and pulled out his phone, scrolling through it.
“Is that you Buckley?” he heard a voice asked from a couple yards away from him.
Buck’s head nearly popped up, totally not expecting someone to call out to him and he looked towards the voice. It took a second to place the man’s face, but he recognized the man as Ian Thompson, and standing next to him was Brian Colby, two of the guys at Harbor Station he had met while visiting Tommy there a couple times.
“Ian?” Buck asked. “Um, yeah… What’s up?”
“Oh, we were just dropping a patient off,” Ian said. “Figured we’d pay Tommy a visit before we leave. You doing the same?”
“Visit Tommy?” Buck repeated. He was visiting Tommy as in… “Tommy’s in the hospital?” Buck asked.
Ian blinked, looking slightly surprised. “Yeah,” he said. “I take it you haven’t heard?”
“Heard… Heard what?” Buck asked, almost scared to hear their answer. If Tommy was in the hospital for what seemed like an extended time, then…
“Last week,” Ian started. “We were called out to a structure fire. It started getting bad really fast. The place started collapsing while Tommy and two others were still inside. We were able to get them out pretty quickly, but Tommy took some bumps to the head. He’s still upstairs.”
Buck had heard about that call last week. But he seemed to have missed out on two key details about that story: that it was the 217 responding to the call, and that it was Tommy who had been hurt.
Tommy who had been hurt and was apparently still in the hospital. He had been in the hospital for a week at this point. That only happened when someone was really, really hurt.
Like after he had gotten crushed by a fire truck and struck by lightning, hurt.
It was then that Chimney walked back from the bathroom and down the hallway they were standing in. Seeing his brother-in-law knocked Buck out of the short trance he had fallen into.
“Chimney, did you know Tommy was in the hospital?” Buck said, turning to look at the man.
Chimney had been entirely caught off guard by that question. “What?” he asked.
Buck turned back to look at the other two firefighters he had been talking to. “Where did you say he was?” he quickly asked.
“Oh, he’s upstairs,” Ian said. “Third floor, ICU.”
ICU, Buck didn’t want to think about what that meant, especially after a week. Instead of standing there thinking about it however, Buck took off running down the hallway towards the elevators.
“Buck! Where are you going?” Chimney called after him.
“I’m going upstairs to see Tommy!” Buck called back as he continued running.
Buck stopped in his tracks as he stood out in front of the doors leading to the hallway of the ICU, second guessing himself. Just what was he doing? He hadn’t spoken or seen Tommy in months now, and he was going to what? Run into the man’s room as he was on death’s door?
Yeah, he was going to do exactly that.
He slowly pushed the door open and took a step into the hallway, standing right outside the square of hospital chairs making up the ICU’s waiting room. At the sound of the door squeaking on its hinges, a nurse’s head popped up from where she was sitting at the nurse’s stand in the middle of the hallway.
“Can I help you sir?” her soft voice carried through the hallway to him.
“Um…” Buck mumbled before shaking his head and walking up to her. “I- Where- I’m here to see a friend, his name is Tommy…”
“Tommy…?” the nurse repeated him.
“Yeah, Tommy Kinard,” Buck said. “I just… I just found out he was up here, that he got hurt last week and I just… Would I be able to see him?... Please?”
The nurse eyed him up and down, noticing the splotches of dirt that had gotten onto his turnouts at their last call. “You can come back later, sir,” she said, only somewhat gruffly. “Preferably after you’ve found the chance to have a shower and change your clothes.”
Buck let the air he had been holding in his chest out, his shoulders slumping. “Please,” he asked, near begging. “I don’t have to go in his room now, I just want… I just need to see him.”
The nurse took a second to look him over again before giving him a sympathetic sigh. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll show you which room he’s in, but you’re not going inside.”
“That’s fine,” Buck nodded as he followed after the nurse.
Tommy was four rooms down from where they stood. At first, as Buck saw him through the glass of the ICU room’s walls, Buck didn’t recognize him.
Tommy looked pale, paler than Buck had ever seen someone look before. Maybe it was an effect of the bright fluorescent lights above him, maybe it was because Tommy had apparently been indoors for the last week, maybe it had something to do with the head injury Tommy apparently had, Buck didn’t know.
But Buck did know that it certainly didn’t make Tommy look healthy.
There was a bandage on the side of his head, some scarepes that looked like they were slowly healing on his cheekbones and on his forearms. And he was hooked up to a lot of machines. More machines than Buck could think of trying to name, and that was after he had been in the hospital numerous times.
“Is this enough now, sir?” the nurse asked, again knocking Buck from his spiraling thoughts.
“Yeah,” Buck nodded as he turned to walk back down the hallway and find Chimney, who he ran into right outside of the ICU doors.
“What was that, Buck?” The man asked.
“Did you know Tommy was in there?” Buck asked, looking Chimney directly in the eyes. As Chimney’s eyes grew wide and his face took on one of surprise, it was clear to Buck that he was just as surprised and caught off guard as Buck had been.
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When their shift ended the next morning, Buck went right back to the hospital. When he walked up to the doors of the ICU, he spotted Ian Thompson and the Harbor Station Captain, Melton, sitting in the ICU waiting room.
“Buckley,” Ian said upon seeing him walk into the room.
“Hey,” Buck said in greeting to the two men, ducking his head down as he was suddenly self-conscious from the attention they were both giving him.
“Take a seat,” Ian said, motioning to one of the empty chairs next to him. “The doctors just took Tommy to get another MRI of his head. It will be a while.”
“Right,” Buck said as he walked over and sat down. He was silent for a second, before asking, “So, have there been any changes?”
Melton let out a long sigh as he overheard that question. “There have been no outward changes,” he said. “There’s been good signs of brain activity going on in that head of his, but no sign of him waking up. That’s why they took him down to get another MRI.”
Buck sat there, processing that information, not knowing whether it was something to be happy or sad about. Usually he was the one in the hospital bed in these situations, not one of the people waiting around.
As they waited for the doctor and Tommy to return, Buck felt his phone chime with an incoming text message.
It was from Chimney.
Chimney: Keep me updated if anything changes. I’ll try and visit this afternoon.
Buck sent him back a thumbs up, and then sat back in his chair, waiting it out.
After what felt like forever, but was really only forty minutes, a nurse came out and told them that Tommy was back in his room and that they could visit him, but only two people at a time.
Standing in the same room as Tommy now, his face only a couple feet away from Tommy's, the man looked so much worse than he did yesterday.
Now Buck had a clear view of the healing bruise on the side of Tommy’s head, something Buck hadn’t noticed the day before. Then there was the oxygen tube under his nose. That didn’t surprise Buck that Tommy would have that, but how had he missed it?
And there was a brace around Tommy’s left wrist, meaning he likely sprained or fractured it. Underneath the blanket covering his torso, Buck would probably be able to find another bandage wrapped around him to support and protect the cracked ribs he had.
Buck had ended up spending almost his entire next 48 hours off sitting either next to Tommy’s bedside or down the hallway in the ICU’s waiting room. That entire time, Tommy still hadn’t woken up. The nurses and doctors who had stopped by periodically said that he showed signs of improving, especially after last week when they didn’t even know if he would survive over the first 72 hours he was in there.
Buck didn’t know where to begin thinking about that.
Tommy could have died…
Tommy almost died…
And if he had, Buck wouldn’t have known about it until at least a couple days after it happened.
Hell, he probably wouldn’t have even heard about it until after Tommy’s funeral.
What if he hadn’t run into those two in the hall yesterday?
And that thought just twisted Buck’s stomach up in knots.
Sure Tommy had broken up with him. Sure it was a pretty brutal breakup all things considered. And sure Buck was finally starting to get over it.
But Buck still cared deeply about him. He didn’t want Tommy to get hurt. He certainly didn’t want Tommy to die.
So that left the question…
What should he do now?
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Of course it was while Buck was on shift that Tommy regained consciousness. Not that Buck was all that upset, he certainly didn’t want Tommy to wait another eighteen hours to do so.
It was Ian who had called him while he was on shift. It was funny, despite him and Buck only sharing probably five sentences before this entire disaster happened, they had struck up a pretty fast friendship. If it wasn’t for the fact that Ian was married with three kids, Buck might have thought he and Tommy had started something when Tommy left him.
Just like at the end of his last two shifts, the hospital was the first place Buck went to when he got off of work.
Tommy was still up in the ICU, and according to Ian, would be in there until at least the end of the week. As Buck walked down the hall to the ICU doors, he saw Ian walking the opposite direction.
“Oh hey,” he greeted Buck. “I assume you saw my message that Tommy’s awake now. I was just in there with him. He’s still a little tired, but aware of everything.”
“Oh, that’s great,” Buck said, his heart lightening just a little.
“Yeah, I need to get home to help with the kids. But you should go in and talk to him. It’ll be good for both of you,” Ian said as he continued to walk down the hall.
Buck stood there for a second, questioning if he should go in there now. Sitting next to Tommy’s bedside while he was asleep was one thing. But when the man was awake, and could question just why he was standing next to his ex’s bedside.
Buck shook his head out of his thoughts. He was already here, wasn’t he?
He had come here because he saw the message that Tommy had woken up.
Buck continued walking down the halls to Tommy’s room, smiled as he greeted the ICU nurses as he passed by them. They were all well aware of who he was here to visit by this point. And then he stopped just as he walked up to Tommy’s doorway.
Tommy turned his head to look up at him at the sound of Buck’s footsteps. Ian was right, Tommy still looked exhausted and like he would fall asleep any second now. But as he recognized that it was Buck standing there, Buck watched as Tommy’s eyes grew slightly wider and his face became just so slightly more awake.
“Buck?” Tommy said.
“Tommy,” Buck said. He stood there for a second, feeling awkward. “Can I come in?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Tommy said as he lifted his arm and motioned to the empty chair next to his bed, the one Buck had spent many hours sitting in so far. “Take a seat.”
Buck sat down wiping his hands on the pant leg of his jeans as he realized how sweaty they had grown since he first made eye contact with Tommy.
Tommy reached a hand up to give his eyes a rub, probably trying to make it so he could stay awake just that much longer to talk to him. “They guy’s said you were visiting me everyday,” he said.
“Y- Yeah, that’s right,” Buck said, nodding as his eyes traveled down to look at Tommy’s legs covered in the hospital’s bed sheets. Tommy still had all of the hospital equipment that had been hooked up to him days ago. But even still, he looked remarkably more alive and healthier since then.
“Why?” Tommy asked.
Buck’s eyebrows drew together in confusion as he turned his head up to look at Tommy’s face. “What do you mean ‘why’?” he asked.
“We haven’t spoken for months,” Tommy said. “And before that, our last meeting wasn’t… good,” he continued.
“You’re- We’re…” Buck’s voice trailed off as he stumbled over his words. “You’re still my friend,” Buck said. “I still care about you.”
They were both silent for a long moment before Buck spoke up again. “You might have broken up with me, but you didn’t write me out of your life.”
“You say that as if I don’t have a choice,” Tommy said.
“No,” Buck huffed as he crossed his arms and sat back in the hospital chair. “You’re stuck with me for as long as you’re here.”
Tommy let out a small chuckle as he let his head fall back on the pillow of the bed. “For some reason I don;t have a problem with that.”