Work Text:
Hey, Reo, can I kiss you?
Reo felt like he was dunked into an ice bath with a plastic bag wrapped around his head.
Hey, Reo, can I kiss you?
Even when he tried, nothing he did could prove to him that this was all just a stupid, silly, childish dream, especially not the way Nagi’s fingers carefully, gingerly, traced random shapes on his wrists. Especially not the way his heartbeat pulses like sirens against his ears as Nagi lazily scans his face. Especially not the way his skin is set ablaze under his gaze.
Hey, Reo, can I kiss you?
Like, excuse me what the actual fuck ?
Reo simply blinks, as if the darkness of his bedroom wasn’t a thick enough veil, but then again, if he stares any longer at Nagi’s irritatingly serious face, Reo feels he might actually spiral into insanity right then and there.
“Reo.” Nagi’s voice (his real one this time) feels like an arrow shooting straight through his head, and Reo’s mouth finally manages to fall open. It promptly shuts before opening again, rollback and repeat, like he was some exotic fish.
“Huh? What? Wait. What do you— What?” Reo’s words stumble over each other, and it feels like a dictionary was chucked into his head. Huge, heavy, but completely fucking empty. He feels a painful urge to rip his hand away from Nagi’s but something else, something more irritatingly powerful keeps him dumbly in place. And it wasn’t Nagi — his fingers hardly ghosted Reo’s skin, he wasn’t even trying to hold him. Because Nagi never had to try for anything — not for his grades where he gets second place by simply opening a book and glancing at it (would’ve been first if Reo wasn’t his competition), not for soccer where he can perform magic with his body within weeks of playing the sport.
Not for holding Reo’s heart in place with those stupid, big eyes that shone like a puppy or some other obscure cute animal.
Fuck, okay, maybe it was Nagi.
“I mean exactly what I said,” Nagi sighs, burying the side of his face on his pillow and jutting his lips out in a pout. Reo could feel the wires in his brain short-circuiting at the sight. “I asked if I could kiss you, Reo. And yes, I know what a kiss is.” He added, and that was the exact question that Reo was about to spill out of his tongue, because hey, you never know with Nagi.
“Nagi, I’m a guy,” Reo blurted out instead, and with how fast blood rushed up to his face, Reo would’ve fainted right then and there. That would’ve been a better outcome because staring at Nagi’s face falter and contort in the most irritatingly adorable way wasn’t doing anything to make him feel better. “We’re both guys, Nagi.”
“I know, Reo.” Nagi blatantly deadpans.
“That’s why, we can’t– that’s not-” That’s why we can’t just kiss, Nagi, don’t be silly. We’re two guys! That’s just wrong – undoubtedly, unmistakably, absolutely wrong. But none of the words manage to crawl out of Reo’s chest. Or perhaps it was his mind, because his chest is beating a completely different rhythm right now. Because whatever godforsaken bullshit this feeling might be, it sure as hell wasn’t foreign, no matter how hard Reo tries convincing himself it is.
The thing is, it’s not like Reo believes a single word his head tried to scream out. It’s not like, damned be sin and hellfire or whatever, two guys kissing is the worst possible thing to grace this planet Earth, and hell, Reo doesn’t give two flying fucks if they did. It’s not like he doesn’t want it. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it before. It’s not like Nagi even had to suggest it for Reo to be thinking about it to the point his brain is sent into a heated overdrive. Maybe he would give every fuck if he and Nagi kissed.
But like the big dumb fool with the big red nose and the big ugly colourful wig he is, Reo closes his eyes and throws a dart somewhere in the air hoping it hits him square on the head. Or Nagi’s head. Either way is fine.
“Reo,” Nagi repeats, and every single time he calls out his name, Reo swears he feels his heart rate accelerating so fast, it could reach quadruple digits. To make matters worse, Nagi’s hands shift and fit perfectly in the cusp of Reo’s palms, almost electrifying where their skins meet each other. Reo needs a health checkup stat . “At least, can you answer me?”
Because this motherfucker knows exactly what he’s doing and is obviously searching for a yes . And motherfucker Reo is being played right into his hands and obviously has no other answer to give anyway.
Nagi wasn’t using the stupid lame excuse of “Oh I just wanna know what kissing feels like and Reo definitely has more experience, right!”, not like a guy like him would use that ever. Which probably doesn’t reveal anything. Or maybe it does, because if this was any other normal situation (a situation where Nagi isn’t a raging homosexual and Reo isn’t experiencing what is perhaps the most outrageously pathetic gay awakening slash panic recorded in history) Reo might just be laughing it off like it was a silly little joke. Except he wasn’t finding any of this funny at all. Instead, the way “kiss” dripped so gently off of Nagi’s lips makes Reo want to devour the word off of his mouth until Nagi becomes so dumb he never opens his mouth to speak again.
God, what is he even talking about?
“Fine.” Curse every God that exists in the heavens, curse his pathetic miserable self that can’t form a single coherent and cohesive thought, curse every living being on this godforsaken planet, and may curses a hundredfold befall this dumbass of a guy called Seishiro Nagi.
A huge question mark dances on top of Nagi’s head as his eyes blow wide, and Reo wants to shove two fingers into them so he doesn’t have to look at how they shine ever again. So he doesn’t have to feel how his heart flutters like a swarm of butterflies ever fucking again .
“I said fine! Don’t look at me like that,” Reo half-screamed,
an endeared giggle
a nervous chuckle tripping out of his lips, but despite his words, he hides his face into his pillow, unable to take any of it anymore. “You can kiss me. Just get it over with.”
“Do you even want me to?” Reo feels Nagi shift ever so slightly closer with the question, and then, there is a silent voice in Reo’s head that just keeps saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, but he promptly shuts it up, managing instead to finally, finally muster the strength to shrink away ever so slightly. Probably because he isn’t looking at Nagi’s face anymore. ( FINALLY! Because he’s been staring the whole damn time! )
Reo’s mind was completely empty besides the annoying multitude of yes’s, so he instead mumbles into his pillow, “You’re the one who wanted it.”
And Nagi decides to make the worst possible decision for Reo’s heart by moving his hand from Reo’s palms to tuck it under Reo’s chin and turn his damn pliable face to meet those accursed shining eyes again . “But I want you to want it too.”
Because I know you want it too . Can having shiny, heavy-lidded, dark grey sometimes teal eyes be a punishable offense in every state in Japan?
“That doesn’t have anything to do with this.”
“Yes, it does,” Nagi says matter-of-factly, and oh God no for fuck’s sake he’s pouting again . If Reo didn’t want to kiss Nagi before, he sure as hell would’ve wanted to now. “How am I supposed to kiss you if you don’t want to kiss me back?”
Wow, Nagi knew something about boundaries.
“You asked if you could kiss me , not if we could kiss, Nagi, there’s a difference,” Reo mutters, inevitably enthralled by Nagi’s face yet again, and he thinks this is the end for him and his sanity. What was it about the dim Tokyo street lights peering into his room that made him look so irritatingly pretty ? (What is this about Nagi suddenly becoming so irritatingly everything?) Nagi wasn’t the most attractive guy around, but he was handsome. Sometimes. If you look hard enough. If you’re Reo-level nice enough. Reo wasn’t even nice, he was an arrogant, cheeky asshole !
Okay, fine, have it, Nagi was handsome as fuck only if you were
Reo motherfucking Mikage
.
Unless.
Nagi’s round eyes stare into Reo’s purple ones in a heartbeat of silence (which isn’t that long considering how Reo’s heart, maybe Nagi’s too, is challenging light to an impossible race), and the next words that came out of Nagi’s mouth could’ve been predicted even by a baby monkey because of-fucking-course this idiot would say, “Then, can we kiss?”
Reo sighed like he wasn’t about to combust on the spot. He was definitely a smart man, and few could come close to his level of intelligence (especially in the circle of brain-dead fools he has as friends), but Reo was just digging his own grave at this point. Then again, they were also in the comfort of Reo’s hotel-suite-esque bedroom in the quiet hours of midnight, snuggled in his bed like it was the most normal thing in the world, so maybe Reo can be cut some slack for being a little crazy.
Still, he asks, probably trying to replace this irritating chaos with some mild curiosity, “Why do you want to anyway?” Would it help at all? Most probably not.
“Why?” Nagi parrots, as if the question had never come across his mind in his life. It probably hasn’t, with the way a single glimpse into his brain would reveal 1. Cobwebs, 2. A monkey clashing a pair of cymbals together, and 3. Reo Mikage in all his beautiful, spectacular glory.
Like it was the most obvious thing in the world to everyone but Reo, he simply says, “I like you, Reo.”
Because of course. Literally what else was Reo expecting, anyone could see it coming with their eyes closed. But why ?
Reo had received more confessions in his life than he was willing to count. Hundreds of girls, his teacher from elementary school (for some reason?), and even guys weren’t exempted from Reo’s charm. So why is Reo fumbling so badly ? What in the world was different this time? Was it because they were closer, and Nagi was not just a stranger who happened to fall for Reo? Was it because he confessed like it was supposedly already written in big bold letters for everyone to see? Was it because he asked to kiss so casually like it wasn’t the craziest thing he’s ever said?
Was it just because it was Nagi and not anyone else?
“Reo, I like you.” No, Nagi, Reo’s perfect ears heard you for the first time, and repeating it is not making things any less chaotic for him. Because he met you literally a year ago, and during that time you became his best friend, his partner, his treasure, the embodiment of a promise meant to be kept for eternity, the one person he firmly decided to not want to lose for the rest of his life, and someone that sparkles and shines and glows like a miraculous divine angel in his eyes.
Wait, what?
Reo violently shakes his head at his own thoughts, but Nagi doesn’t know anything going on in Reo’s head. So with a dumbfounded stare akin to a confused puppy (why does he actually look like one?) he presses on, “Reo, seriously. I like you — no, I love you, Reo.”
“No, no, no,” Reo mumbles, still more to himself, and Nagi just stares at him like he’s grown a second head.
“Reo, I—”
“Since when?”
“Huh?”
Reo was still mumbling to himself like the lunatic he is, but because their relationship is largely built upon words that aren’t spoken, assumptions, misunderstanding, and every other awkward teenage romance book trope there is, they walk in opposite directions but magically end up balancing the equilibrium anyway. How they still manage to be so in sync with each other is a paradoxical mystery. Maybe it’s soulmates. Maybe they’re just clinically insane. Flip a coin.
“It was first sight,” Nagi says, and Reo’s eyes blow open again, but before he could say anything, Nagi adds, “It was probably your smile first. Then, when you said you were interested in me, that was the first time anyone’s ever said something like that about me. It stirred something in me.”
“I didn’t think much about it back then, since I didn’t know any better, and honestly, I genuinely thought you were a real pain in the ass.” Nagi lets out a little sigh as he shifts his position, staring blankly at Reo’s gaping face.
“But then, I started to wonder why I didn’t mind it as much. Especially when you were persistently involving me in your life, dragging me to practice all the time. That’s when I found out I probably liked you. That I probably didn’t actually think you were a pain in the ass. I liked your smile because you would always smile all excited when we were about to go for practice. I liked being with you because it really was fun. I had fun with you, Reo, because for the first time, I felt like someone had fun when they were with me, too.”
Reo was actually trying to wrack his brain and figure out exactly when he fell for Nagi, but if he was able to choose, it might’ve been right now. At least, it would’ve, if Reo’s head wasn’t deep-frying in hopeless romantic Seishiro Nagi overload.
“I read this somewhere online and it meant a lot to me. It was like the clock of my life really started ticking only after I met you, Reo. You’re like a miracle.”
If his blushing face wasn’t enough to go by, Nagi had lit Reo’s head on fire .
“Wha– What, t-that’s—” Reo was clear-headed, charismatic, and a pretty smooth-talker, but that sounds like an absurdly tall tale if you consider how hard he was fumbling his words. Then again, Nagi had never voiced his feelings or perspectives this much throughout the length of their friendship, so it was arguably a fair balance. “Nagi, I was—”
Panicking and trying to figure out what about your dumb ass made me fall in love? Yeah, he would’ve said all that if Nagi hadn’t leaned his stupid fuckass face closer .
“I told you I wanted us to stay together to the end, right?” The sheer softness in the way Nagi’s voice swirls around in Reo’s head would’ve been enough to make a grown man cry. He could feel his face light up where Nagi’s hand caressed him. “I know you probably didn’t think it meant this, but… But I want it to mean this, Reo. I really—”
“Fuck, during the match with Team Z.”
If Reo thought his heart couldn’t race any faster, he was in for a horrific surprise. “Fuck. Fuck , Nagi, I think that’s when I fell in love with you.”
Because even under the darkness, Nagi’s face turned visibly
scarlet
.
“That time you took the initiative and moved on your own for the very first time.” Because you saw me, didn’t you? Scared, on the brink of death, with loss so terrifyingly near. “After the match, you said soccer was interesting. Fun. Your eyes started to shine with excitement, like a happy little kid.” It made me happy beyond belief, Nagi. Even when it wasn’t me who changed you, even when you got fired up by someone else. Isagi. “Fuck, I think I fell, Nagi.”
If Reo wasn’t sure he was in love with Nagi, he can take comfort in the fact that there’s absolutely no way someone can be this enamored by their best friend’s pathetically blushing face staring like a flustered puppy with his mouth agape, mouthing words that probably tumbled around in his head like a drunk man on stairs. Reo could feel his breath hanging by a fragile, helpless thread in his lungs at the sight, and if it wasn’t for Nagi trying to splutter out a reply in vain, he might as well die right there.
“It’s just— I never… realized it, until…” Until right fucking now, Reo thinks. Which is pretty stupid, considering how many times Reo thought he could pass out by just staring at Nagi thinking damn it would be really nice to kiss him on the lips right now but oh haha isn’t that a crazy thought get it together Reo Mikage anyway for the next practice—
Yeah, he was a fucking idiot alright.
It’s like a vegetable garden at night — one stupid red tomato staring at another fellow stupid red tomato with nothing but streetlights to illuminate their stupid red faces. It wouldn’t have been this awkward if either of them just managed to break eye contact, but if Reo was captivated by Nagi’s flustered face, there’s an eleven out of ten chance that it’s mutual.
Nagi must be strong as fuck, because Reo would never be able to handle the absurd amount of strength it would take to bring their faces closer again, a soft, pretty glow shining in Nagi's eyes. Reo could feel his heart threaten to jump out of his mouth.
“So…”
“Yes, stupid,” Reo hid his face in Nagi’s hand since if he had heard any more of Nagi’s voice in that tone, he would’ve kissed him without waiting for any kind of permission. Although, he was fairly certain Nagi would not have minded that at all. “Yes, I want to kiss you, fucking kiss me already.”
“Look at me, Reo.”
And has there been any moment when he wasn’t? When he wasn’t watching Nagi put in every ounce of his beautiful, magnetic potential to try winning against Team Z for the first time? When he wasn’t watching his beloved treasure actually try to dig deeper into that beauty he has, accursed be Reo's own bitterness and loneliness? When he wasn’t gazing at Nagi’s back flying further, further away, into unimaginable, unreachable heights? Even then, like the fool he is, Nagi always comes back down and takes his hand, with a plea in his eyes as if to say “I’m still waiting for you, Reo. I still want us to keep our promise, Reo.”
Whatever pent-up emotion Reo had so cruelly refused to realize within him, it all shattered like glass and danced in front of him like a manic kaleidoscope the minute he looked back up at those shining eyes.
Their lips crashed together in a heartbeat, knocking a shaky gasp out of Nagi’s lungs as Reo’s hands tangled themselves in his soft, white hair. It took a solid second, as if he was trying to relish Reo’s sudden (and most definitely welcome) abrasiveness, but soon, Nagi promptly melted under Reo’s touch, his own hands tracing the curve of Reo’s cheeks, savoring the way his jaw moves in the rhythm of their kiss.
“ Reo .”
The quiet gasp that escapes the trance of their kiss crashes on Reo’s dizzy head like a flood. There was something about the way his name rolls out of Nagi’s mouth with such beautiful ease as if it belonged there, like it was a desperate cry of worship, a song of praise. It was always so painfully obvious in the way Nagi cradled Reo like he was everything to him. Every syllable his lips pronounced, every inch of skin his fingers touched, every strand of violet hair that fluttered in the wind, every blinding, sunny smile he shone upon Nagi’s cloudy eyes; everything Reo did was like a sacrament dawning on the head of a believer, and everything Reo said was like the words of the covenant to him. And Nagi wasn’t even religious.
If Reo’s painfully oblivious ass had never realized any of this before, it all poured over him as Nagi pulled him deeper into their kiss, as if this was the only thing they needed to close every chasm of unsaid words that laid between them, as if everything that broke them and fixed them again was revealed in their shared breaths, in their short exhales, in their soft hummings and pecks and whispers of sweet nothings, in the way they held each other’s faces and stared through fluttering lashes like they were the most precious thing in the world.
Nagi was never anything but Reo’s beloved treasure. And — condemned be the mouth that blasphemes — Nagi worshipped Reo like God.
“Hold– Hold on,” Reo gasps, gently pushing Nagi’s chin away as his lungs threaten to collapse under Nagi’s breath. Athleticism be damned because even thirty minutes of rigorous practice couldn’t get either Reo or Nagi this worn out, so to unfold in a make-out session hardly a minute long was downright ridiculous. But was there a poison out there with a potency that could challenge love?
Nagi pulls away, staring at Reo with so much intensity, it knocks out the remaining breath Reo’s lungs contain. “I get that you’re excited, Nagi, but… just… give me a minute.”
Suddenly, the gentle toll of bells resounds through the night air. Except the bells sounded very suspiciously like the gentle laughter (chuckle? giggle?) that fell out of Nagi’s mouth. And yeah, goddamnit, Reo is not making it this time.
“What the fuck.”
Reo’s mouth fell open, and it took a while before Nagi could stop to look at Reo questioningly. The ghost of a smile still lingered on his face, and Reo could feel his head spin. “No, wait. You can’t just do that.”
Nagi tilts his head a little, and whatever attempt he made at a reply was interrupted by the way Reo’s hands clasp so suddenly around his cheeks. “Don’t- Don’t just. WHAT??!!! Don’t just smile like that, what the fuck?!”
It’s not like Nagi doesn’t smile at all. It’s not like this is the first time he’s seen Nagi smile or even laugh. But maybe Reo was just drunk on their kiss and Nagi doing anything is like him walking blindfolded over a field of landmines in Reo’s head.
“I didn’t do anything, though,” Nagi’s eyes are wide, shining, he’s panting, and his face and lips are flushed and red, and to make matters worse, that soft, sweet, gentle, head-over-heels in love smile was painted all over the picture and God, Reo could stare at this forever.
“You fucking…” Reo gasps, a grin breaking open his own face. “Damnit, what am I going to do?”
As laughter rings out in the melody of Reo’s voice, he finally sees it. The way Nagi’s face immediately softens, as if he’s melting under the light of Reo’s smile like it was the most beautiful thing in the world. The way a childish, twinkling glimmer glosses over his already wide and still widening eyes, like the trail of a shooting star shimmering as it falls across the night sky. The way an awed breath leaves his parted lips, and his cheeks redden like a fruit in the warmth of spring. Love, washing over his face like the waves on the shore.
Were Nagi’s emotions always this clearly written all over his damn face? How in God’s name did Reo so easily overlook such a mesmerizing sight?
Reo pulls him into a short kiss again, but the tiny smile doesn’t leave Nagi’s face. If anything, it grew wider even by just a little bit. Guessing game: Is Reo about to flatline right here and now or not? “Nagi, if you look at me like that, my heart might seriously stop.”
“Can I kiss you back to life?” Cuteness aggression has to be considered a disease because Reo is fucking sick . He has to physically stop himself from crushing Nagi’s face. “What? Am I not allowed to?”
“You’re going to kiss me to death , Nagi, that’s what you’re gonna do,” Reo scowls playfully, managing to control his urge into a light pinch on Nagi’s cheeks. “I’m going to die before I reach the age of thirty and it will be your fault.”
“But if you die, who’s going to take care of me?” (Nagi, it will be your fault. That’s completely on you.)
“You know how to take care of yourself!” Reo hisses, taking Nagi’s hair in his hands and aggressively tousling it. Nagi pouts again, and it takes every ounce of strength remaining in him for Reo to not start rolling around and screaming into his hands. This guy can say the things that could get him exiled from human society and Reo would still find him endearing. There’s no saving him.
“Huuh? I want Reo to spoil me for life~”
“How about keeping me alive for that long first?”
Nagi seemed to give up trying to argue back, so he resorted to the next best thing to win an argument: he leaned in to kiss Reo again. Now, they’ve kissed a total of three times (the tiny breaks they took to stare at each other in the first kiss don’t count), and Reo knows damn well that it won’t end there. But can he really get used to the way Nagi’s soft, soft lips caress his? Probably not now. Probably not ever. And whether Reo is just completely smitten, or if he’s actually batshit motherfucking crazy with at least three loose screws in his head, Nagi wins this one anyway.
A big stone wall with the word “ IDIOT ” written for all the world to see was probably stopping him from actually feeling and acting upon it, but maybe Reo had just always been a stupid fool in love. Because let’s be real, you can’t call some random loser you met at the top of the stairs ‘your treasure’ and proceed to swear your life and future into a promise with him that lasted a whole year and is still continuing, by the way, and expect to walk off thinking “Oh, he’s just a really great friend!” Friends don’t do things like that. Maybe. Do they? Whatever, that’s not really any of Reo’s business.
Perhaps nothing really changed in the end. Nagi is still some spoiled baby princess, and Reo still obligingly indulges Nagi’s little whims like a devoted housewife even through the half-assed scoldings and complaints, so whether they were just really close friends that kissed and wished to devote their entire lives and souls to everything the other wants or something else entirely doesn’t really matter.
To Reo, as long as it was Nagi, nothing else matters.
To Nagi, as long as it was Reo, you best believe nothing else fucking matters.
“You actually want to kill me, don’t you?” Reo whispers, finally pulling away from the kiss, and smiling softly like he wasn’t seconds away from riding his deathbed. Nagi just shrugs like he wasn’t seconds away from being on the news for the murder of a corporate heir slash soccer sensation. He tucks his arms under Reo’s and crawls into the space between them, nestling his head in the crook of Reo’s neck. If him being this close wasn’t enough to kill Reo, the likelihood of his funeral practically skyrocketed when Nagi’s lips came in contact with his skin. “Fuck, NAGI !!”
Nagi should add ‘driving Reo up the damn wall’ into his resume. Tune in to the next episode of: ‘Now, is that figurative or literal?’