Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Spire of Deceit. Pure Vanilla Cookie had a multitude of memories from this place, both negative and positive. It was ominous, even in ruin.

 “How the mighty have fallen…” he mumbled to himself, guilt encasing his chest. It was probably for the best that it was destroyed, but it just looked so…pitiful. Like it wasn't a spire to begin with, but crumbs from the start. He shook his head, shaking the thought from his mind.

He had been sent by the Crème Republic to check the wreckage, to insure it wasn't filled with monsters of deceit. They tried to send guards with him, but this was something he had to do alone. He would feel claustrophobic with guards breathing down his neck the entire time. Plus it felt too…personal. Like he was on the operating table, his heart being viewed as an exhibit. ‘The Heart of a Fool’ would be plastered above his head.

His feet crunched grass and small bits of rubble alike as he walked into the fray. Most of it was beyond saving, with only a few half standing structures resembling rooms. That's as good a place to start as any, right? Pure Vanilla mused, ducking under fallen pillars to get to them.

The first room was red, standing out against the myriad of blues, blacks, and silvers of the spire. There was a small bed, twin sized most likely, with ripped drapes covering the top. Stuffed animals with various missing limbs hid the mattress from view. A vanity sat in the corner, eagerly awaiting for its owner to return. Bottles of nail polish, makeup and syrup were strewn about the floor near it, only a few managed to stay on the vanity itself. 

“Was this…Candy Apple Cookie’s room?” The realization sent a chill careening down his spine. He had his suspicions that she was young, but this room was eerily similar to a normal teenage girl. Not a servant of Shadow Milk Cookie. The only thing hinting at her violent tendencies were the stuffed animals, but even then most of them were stitched back together. He could imagine her ripping the arms off of a teddy bear, only to regret it. Trying to stitch the poor thing back together through tears blurring her vision. Maybe she'd even cry to Shadow Milk cookie to fix it.

Pure Vanilla Cookie made the decision to move on, before he thought too hard about the implications. 

He held his staff up, turning it around to survey the rest of the ruins. He saw purple wallpaper peaking out nearby, cables and other miscellaneous sound equipment haphazardly accompanying it. Black Sapphire Cookie's room wasn't as lucky…He sighed, there wasn't anything else of interest. He supposed it was a good thing, though, because that meant there weren't any monsters left.

But that also meant there was no Shadow Milk left.

He knew it was wishful thinking, but he had secretly hoped to find the blue clad jester. He had felt how lonely the other was when their soul jams combined- even if only for a second. He wouldn't, no, couldn't forgive him for what he'd done. The friends he'd hurt. But he still wanted to help him, had to help him. Maybe it was just his own savior complex, or something more. He didn't particularly care either way, since his goal would remain unchanged.

Turning his staff back to face forward, it caught something else. He latched onto the anomaly, walking towards it. It was another unassuming room at first glance, but upon further inspection it looked cleaner. Recently lived in.

He didn't dare to let himself hope, because in the back of his mind he knew the emptiness meant they left already. Likely Shadow Milk's own paranoia kicking in.

He ducked under the strategically placed pillars that attempted to hide the makeshift living space from prying eyes, the dirt and rubble was disturbed near their bottoms.

The inside was much more packed than expected, tattered drapes hung from the ceiling to create makeshift walls. Pure Vanilla pushed the curtains aside, one room had two blankets and what he assumed were meant to be pillows (one blanket was covered in stuffed animals), and another room was filled with a multitude of scraps. The last room in the back was empty with the exception of a worn desk in the corner. That's not what caught his eye, though.

No, the plush replica of Shadow Milk did. It was shoved under the desk as if hiding, and maybe it was. He wouldn't put it past Candy Apple to hide something like this in the back, terrified of it getting ruined. It was dusted in debris, though it was clear someone had tried to brush it off, failing miserably.

He gently picked it up, its mismatched button eyes looking back at him. The stitched on smile a mockery of the real thing. It felt like it was laughing at him, what a pity. He thought. This must've been Candy Apple's, I do hope she isn't too distraught it got left behind. 

He lightly dusted its clothes off. “You poor thing. They just left you here to rot.” He didn't know if he was talking to the plush, or if he was talking to Shadow Milk. Even so, he smiled. “Don't worry, I'll get you cleaned up.”

He held it to his chest, walking out of the hideout carefully. He would feel immeasurable guilt if he dropped it. (He knew it wasn't really him, but it was the thought that counted.)

Once he escaped the dangerously crumbly room, he turned to look back at the spire one last time. It felt bittersweet, like he was leaving a part of himself behind. He held the plush tighter. “...let's go home, hm?” The plush didn't respond.

“Master Shadow Milk Cookie is incapacitated at the moment, as you are aware he is…unable to defend himself in this state.” Black Sapphire Cookie looked at the inconspicuous form Shadow Milk had taken. He sighed, his master had only even been in this form for an hour or so at most.

“B-but will he be okay? He's never stayed in this form for so long before!” Candy Apple Cookie whined, stomping one foot into the ruble. “If those foolish cookies come back they'll-!”

“Quiet. Master Shadow Milk Cookie will be just fine, we just need to keep watch until he can return to his most powerful.” Black Sapphire flicked her forehead irritably. “We need to gather more supplies first and foremost.” She sniffled, rubbing her forehead. His glare softened. “Plus, it's been a week already. If they were going to come back,  they'd have returned by now. And hey, we've got each other until the master returns.”

“Yeah. You're right Black Sapphire.” She fiddled with her skirt, clearly wanting something. He sighed.

“Yes you may have a hug.” She squealed and tackled the poor man, he barely caught her. “Jeez, what has the master been feeding you-” he choked out.

She snickers before letting go, landing back on the ground with a click of her heels. “Oh oh oh! When we get back from scavenging, can I bring more of my stuffies back? I didn't have enough hands to get all of them…” She pouted.

Black Sapphire grimaces. “Well, sure we can bring a few back. I don't think they'd all fit in the hideout.” He reasoned, gritting his teeth.

“UGH. I guess you're right. I'll just grab a couple more.” She groaned, slumping before standing up straight. “But we need to put Master Shadow Milk Cookie somewhere safe while we're gone!” She twirled her hair around one finger. “I could always put him in the middle of my stuffies?”

“The master wouldn't appreciate being treated like a ‘stuffy’. We can put him under the desk in the back.” He reasoned.

“Can I do it? Please please please please please!!” She clasped her hands in front of her, giving Black Sapphire puppy eyes.

“Yes, yes, fine! Just be careful!” He called out after her, as she had already grabbed the plush Shadow Milk before he got out his first ‘yes’.

“I know!” She scurried over to the desk, giving the plush one last squeeze before gently putting him in the corner. “We'll be back soon Master Shadow Milk Cookie! I pinky promise!” She jumps back up and runs to Black Sapphire, who's standing by the entrance. “I'm ready to go!”

Their footsteps gradually grow quiet, leaving the spire cloaked in sufficating silence.

Shadow Milk stared unblinking at the drapes hiding him from view, groaning internally. ‘This is going to take foreverrr. How is one supposed to perform in such a pathetic state? No matter, soon i'll be in tip top shape!’

He was not, in fact, in tip top shape. I'm going to kill you when I get out of this mushy form you thief! Shadow Milk grumbled to himself, how dare he. First he steals the souljam, then he steals the wielder! He would find it far more humorous if he wasn't currently being held like a teddy bear. Pure Vanilla was somehow worse than Candy Apple! This is more humiliating than if he just killed me.

“Hm, now that I think about it, did Shadow Milk make you himself?” He mused aloud. “I don't think any self respecting business would make replicas of him…” And what's that supposed to mean?! “Well, no matter the who, they certainly captured his likeness.” Did he ever stop yammering, or was this what Shadow Milk's future held? He almost wished Black Sapphire let Candy Apple put him with her stuffies. It would be far less pathetic.

“I do hope they're alright…you're probably Candy Apple's, right? I wouldn't put it past him to own a plush of himself, though.” He laughed lightly at his own joke, but wouldn't laugh at Shadow Milk's. Figures. Then the first half processed. What. He- this fool is worrying about the enemy? Oh, oh this is rich! Hilarious, even! “If you are Candy Apple’s, I’ll give you back if she asks.” Shadow Milk stared ahead at their wooded surroundings, not even bothering to pay the other cookie attention anymore. He knew that Pure Vanilla likely came on an air balloon, either that or he stole Shadow Milk’s teleporting schtick. He wouldn’t be surprised, a thief is a thief after all, today only proved it. 

The only thing that wouldn’t stop nagging Shadow Milk (other than Pure Vanilla) was his motive. Why on Earthbread would he A) come to the destroyed spire himself and B) take a random plush that he had no idea was Shadow Milk. Candy Apple had a whole pile of the things, why couldn’t he just take one of those! He’s the sentimental type. Revolting. “It might be a bit selfish of me…but I hope we don’t run into her.” Oh? “You’re quite cute. It would be a shame to lose you.” Pure Vanilla smiled down at him, his stitched mouth smiled back. Of course I’m cute, this form was created in my vision! He preened at his praise, but he’d never admit that to anyone. Including himself.

Pure Vanilla pushes a curtain of leaves to the side, revealing his airship. It’s smaller than last time, and far more intact. “Ah, here we are. You’ll like the Vanilla Kingdom I’m sure,” He walks as he talks. “The citizens have been rebuilding phenomenally! I could barely recognize the place last time I went back.” He carefully steps into the basket, clutching Shadow Milk to his side. He was being far more careful with a plush than his staff, almost banging it against the outside. Tck. He’s almost as foolish a king as Elder Faerie. Maybe even more so.

Chapter Text

The ride back was dreadfully uneventful. So much so that Shadow Milk dozed off to Pure Vanilla Cookie's constant drawl in the background. After the third ‘ah, look, a bluebird!’ he started tuning the other out. It was…strangely relaxing. No, it wasn't. It was torture, I simply knocked myself out to be rid of it! He reassured himself.

He was rudely awoken by Pure Vanilla shoving (read: gently securing) him into a pocket far larger than he knew those old robes had. He better not expect me to pay rent, this would be 2k a month in New Yoke. 

“A-aha! Hello Black Raisin Cookie! I wasn't expecting you.” He's a horrible actor! How on Earthbread did he manage to trick me.

“Pure Vanilla Cookie, how was your trip?” She helped him down from the basket, taking his hand not preoccupied with his staff. “Strawberry Crepe told me the reason behind your departure. Although I'm upset you refused to take guards, I understand why. I'm just glad you're okay.” Shadow milk felt the fabric around him shift as they hugged, disgusting.

“I apologize for not telling you all the details, I feared you'd try to come with me…” He sounded sheepish.

She sighed, just as exasperated as Shadow Milk felt. “Just-please take at least one other person with you next time. If not for your safety then for my sanity.”

“I can make no promises, but I'll try. Ah, right, you wanted to hear about my trip. Would you like to come with me into the castle for some tea? I'm quite famished myself.”

“Did you forget to bring rations with you again?” She deadpanned.

“Of course not! I simply…forgot to eat them.” Black Raisin sighed, annoyed. Shadow Milk perked up, hoping there would be some drama. Maybe she's finally had enough of him! “At this rate you'll crumble before Dark Entrantress even lays an eye on you. Come on, you need far more than a dainty tea party.” And to think I got my hopes up! Shadow Milk was jostled as Pure Vanilla followed her. He was ever so thankful that he had built up resistance to vertigo over the centuries.

“The Crow’s Nest shouldn't be too far a walk, would that be alright with you?” She asked, and Shadow Milk tuned them out. He didn't need to hear Pure Vanilla boast about how he left the spire in ruin, and its master worse for wear. He didn't want to hear about how he almost fell for his trick disguised as friendship. Even thinking about those words, ‘let me be your friend’ made him sick. He couldn't even throw up to make it go away, either, since newsflash! Plush dolls don't have stomachs.

He did wonder what the equivalent of retching would be, maybe coughing up cotton. But then you have to ask how it got the esophagus to cough.

A bell chime interrupted his thoughts, “It's been a while since I've visited…has anything changed in my absence?” Pure Vanilla asked.

“Of course not, you're just hoping they added more options so you can reasonably ask me for a recommendation. Even though I always say to order a raisin bun with a glass of milk.” Clock him!

“Ah, you're right. I'm simply far too indecisive…I'll get what you're having.” Tch, he wasn't nearly so compliant when I tried feeding him. Sure the food had a few eyeballs, what doesn't!

“Right. Would you mind finding us a place to sit while I get our food?” 

Shadow Milk assumed that the cookie nodded as he heard Black Raisin's footfalls retreat, that and Pure Vanilla started walking the other direction. Which was kind of hard not to notice since it shook him up. Put me in a more secure pocket next time dimwit! You're lucky dolls can't puke! I would know, I created this form myself and didn't add any kind of stomach. I really should have though!

He felt himself lower, which meant Pure Vanilla found a spot. Is it a booth seat? It sounded like leather. Wait. Are they on a-

A plate clinked harshly on the table, another following in its wake. “Oatmeal Cookie wishes you their best. Wanted me to tell you to eat more, said you looked tired.”

“That's kind of them, but you tell me to eat more as it is…” Isn't Oatmeal Cookie from that raisin village he loves so much? From what I remember, they're quite the baker. Of course he only knew this from his infrequent spying, he was bored in that tree alright! So bored he worried about turning into Burning Spice Cookie.

“Speaking of.” She took a bite of the soft raisin filled bread, Shadow Milk wished he had a mouth. Just to steal it off of her plate. Not because he liked raisin bread, he just thought it would be funny.

Pure Vanilla sighed, but started eating too. The atmosphere was nice, the inn was warm and the only sound was the murmuring of other patrons and eating. Shadow Milk could have easily dozed off if he weren't so pent up. He should be turning back already, he should at least be able to teleport away. He didn't want to be stuck in a thiefs possession. What if he rips my arms off like Candy Apple does to her dolls? The thought didn't exactly help him feel better, he didn't know what would happen if he turned back with an arm missing.

“Just as delicious as I remember.” Pure Vanilla hummed, taking a sip of milk.

“Oatmeal Cookie never fails to deliver, especially since they have the proper equipment now.” She mused, finishing off her food. “I'll have to give them my thanks before we leave.”

“Ah, look at the time! I should be heading back to the castle soon.” He huffed, “My apologies for cutting our meeting short.” He sounded so…sad. About it. He didn't sound so sad when he lied to you, did he? A traitorous part of Shadow Milk's mind whispered. Shut up, of course he wouldn't be sad. He hates me, and the feelings mutual.

“Don't mention it, I should be heading back to patrol anyways. It was nice catching up.” Black Raisin stood up, the click of plates informing him of her clean up. “I'll be sure to tell Oatmeal you enjoyed the meal, be careful on your way back, though. Never know what's out lurking this late.” She advised, a hint of worry lacing her tone.

“Thank you for the concern, I'll keep an eye out.” Shadow Milk felt him move his staff, that was so corny I'm gonna be sick.

They hugged one last time before departing, promises of seeing eachother soon leaving their lips. (Shadow Milk swore this one was longer than platonically acceptable.)

The walk back was just as boring as the balloon ride, if not more so since he was frustratingly mute. He only greeted his subjects, and then went back to the silence. I'd prefer the bluebirds over this.

Finally, finally, he entered the forsaken castle. Shadow Milk could only tell by the change in footsteps, the large corridors making them echo uncomfortably.

Pure Vanilla sighed. “Home sweet home.” A door clicks shut behind him, and his steps are muffled by carpet. Shadow Milk is suddenly thrust into the light, sure it wasn't too bright since the only light was from the window, but it was much brighter than the pocket!

“Sorry for keeping you in there for so long, I didn't expect to run into anyone on my way home.” His vision was filled with the other cookie, still not used to being so small for so long. “Hm, I suppose I should call you Shadow Milk, since he's who you were modeled after…right? Well,” he sat the plush on his desk, tilted slightly towards him. His staff was propped up next to him where it had a clear view of the desk. “I have paperwork to finish, but I do hope you won't mind keeping this old cookie company.” He chuckled. Please just end my misery now before I die from lack of stimuli.

“Shadow Milk Cookie would be calling me a bore right about now…how about I read aloud? Just to help stave off any boredom.” I think I'd rather die actually. Shadow Milk remarked internally.

Pure Vanilla, of course, doesn't hear his complaint and grabs an envelope covered in stickers from the stack.

“A trade request from GingerBrave's kingdom! Seems like they need…eh, 150 lily seeds for decor?” That's insanely excessive. Somehow worse than Pure Vanilla himself. “Well, I'm not one to judge.” He shrugged, signing his name at the bottom of the agreement before setting it off to the side. He grabs a pink envelope with an even pinker wax seal.

“From the Hollyberry kingdom, hm. I wonder if Hollyberry Cookie is facing any trouble…” Maybe if she's in trouble he'll leave and I can get my minions to come get me! He opens the letter, and lets out a breath of relief. “It's simply an invitation to catch up. Had me worried for a moment there old friend.” There goes that plan.

“‘Dear Pure Vanilla Cookie,’” Oh so he was serious about reading them all out. “‘It's been far too long since we've all had a chat! You are cordially invited to my palace for a reasonably sized tea party. I was told that it would mean more if it were just a gathering between friends this time. Next time, though, it shall be a grand event! It will be in two weeks time, hope to see you there! Yours truly, Hollyberry Cookie.’” He smiled to himself with such soft warmth that Shadow Milk wanted to shrink away.

“How exciting, I assume she's invited our other friends as well if her wording is anything to go by.” He grabbed a piece of his finer paper and began writing his response. “‘Dear Hollyberry Cookie, I thank you for your considerate nature. I will be sure to arrive on time, unlike a certain fashionably late cookie. I will see you there! Kind regards, Pure Vanilla Cookie.’” He put his quill down and held the letter to his staff, rereading it.

“Does this sound too formal to you?” He turned to Shadow Milk, who could offer no audible response. It's a letter, and she was formal too! You're both a bunch of boring formal cookies who don't know how to have proper fun! Jeez.

“Ah, you're right.” What- “She wouldn't care either way.” So he's insane and talks to himself, alright. Pure Vanilla carefully folded the letter and inserted it into an envelope, sealing it carefully with wax. “Right, two down and…too many left to go.” He sighed, grabbing another envelope that looked far more boring than the last two. “The Créme Republic?” His staff glanced at Shadow Milk. “Hm, probably asking about my trip.” Already? They must've sent it before he even left. Impatient as ever. He ripped this one open with less care than the last two, seems he's fed up with them too! Ha!

He doesn't read this one aloud, frowning to himself. He sighs, “They're sending someone to meet with me about my findings.” Not even requesting to meet? How presumptuous. He picks Shadow Milk up, startling him. Wha- Hey! What do you think you're doing you verim-

Pure Vanilla rests his forehead against his fabric one. “What am I going to do with you?” He sounded far too exhausted to be talking to his plush prison.

He squeezed Shadow Milk once before setting him back down. He was silent for the rest of the letters. (Shadow Milk unwillingly felt himself missing his voice.)

The clink of his quill being returned to its inkwell snapped Shadow Milk back to attention. “Right, that should be all for tonight.” He stood up and stretched, his back cracking a concerning amount of times. “I'm not as young as I used to be, am I?” He huffed out a breath of air before making his way to the wardrobe.

It opened with a creak, Shadow Milk would've flinched at the grating sound if he could.

Pure Vanilla yawned loudly, grabbing a blue nightgown. He started to undress, only getting his hat off before turning Shadow Milk in the other direction. Oh thank the witches I did NOT want to see that. “Apologies, I almost forgot to shield your eyes.” He chuckled to himself, the sound of clothes shuffling being the only indication of his movements.

He picked Shadow Milk up once more, now dressed and ready for bed. “Hm, where should I set you down…?” He wondered aloud as he walked to his bed, sitting on the edge.

If you put me anywhere but your bedside table I will kill you once I'm capable. He was going to do that anyway, but still.

Pure Vanilla flopped back into his bed that was far too big for one person, holding Shadow Milk above him. His staff was leaning against his bedside, so he was forced to use his own eyes.

“You're a plush, people usually bring those to bed, right?” Do not do not do not do not do not “You aren't just any plush, though. You'd probably hate being held like a childs toy.” If he had lungs he'd have let out a sigh of relief as Pure Vanilla sets him next to himself instead. “Still, sitting on a wooden table all night would be uncomfortable. I hope this compromise suffices.” He smiled slightly at him before pulling the covers to his chin. “Goodnight, Shadow Milk.”

Yeah, yeah goodnight. If I wake up to you cuddling me though I'll actually kill you.

Chapter Text

Shadow Milk fell asleep faster than he'd like to admit. Listen, he was exhausted from the day! Cut a guy some slack, he literally got kidnapped by his worst enemy. He was lucky that he usually slept with his eyes open anyway, though, since the doll he now inhabited didn't exactly have eyelids. He really should've added those, blinking out S.O.S. in morse code might've made Pure Vanilla turn back instead of snatching him up.

His eyes focused, but they weren't looking at the ceiling anymore. This should've set off alarm bells in his mind, but unfortunately he was still half asleep.

Huh, did I somehow turn over in my sleep? Then he noticed the blue blanket covering his torso, wasn't Pure Vanilla Cookie's blanket white and gold?

Then he realized that was no blanket at all, it was a sleeve. That covered an arm. That was attached to a cookie. That cookie being- I'M GOING TO RIP HIS ARMS OUT OF SOCKET THE SECOND I GET OUT OF THIS PUNY FORM! He was enraged. How dare this- this cretin lay his filthy paws on him!

The aforementioned cookie just kept dozing away, clutching Shadow Milk to his chest like nothing was wrong. Count your days, thief. Count your days.

He took a metaphorical deep breath. Think. Pure Vanilla would never do this on purpose, he was a stickler for boundaries. Even if he wasn’t, he was still a glass bottle filled to the brim with kindness, ready to explode. That's either a good metaphor or shows that Shadow Milk has been spending too much time with a certain bomber…either way!

He decided to take in the scenery to distract himself from his current dilemma, not wanting to dwell on it for too long. He was facing the door, which was fortunate due to a certain oaf forgetting to close the curtains. He can’t even take care of his living space properly, next you’ll tell me he tries to use a cheap comb on his hair! Ha! As if even he could be so stupid. 

Focusing back on the task at hand, the only particularly interesting thing on the half of the room he had viewing access to was the bookshelf. It almost reached the ceiling, and all but one shelf was completely filled with books. The only shelf that wasn’t filled had nicknacks, likely from his companions if the disparity between them was anything to go off of. A few were far too shiny to be from anyone but the bird, while others too green to be from anyone but the amnesiac. A few pinks and dark purples signified gifts from the other two, heart shapes and mini-weapons being prominent. Even crow-like trinkets were sprinkled amongst them all. 

The one thing that stuck out to him was yellow, not gold, but waffle cone yellow. A tiny wooden statue of a cream sheep. Its craftsmanship was clear even from so far away, Shadow Milk could appreciate the thought that went behind it. Heck, you could even say he respected it! If someone gave him a wooden carving of a wolf, he’d be thankful, not that he’d outright say that though. He has a reputation to uphold after all.

He redirected his attention to the bedside table that he wished to be on instead of. This. Leaning on it was Pure Vanilla’s staff, obviously. Other than that it was mostly empty save a lone vase of…milkcrowns? I thought he preferred to keep lilies in his chambers. Not flowers grown from tears of those deceived. Pure Vanilla’s kindness would be his undoing, even feeling sympathy for flowers bloomed by Shadow Milk’s misdoings. Does he even know how to properly care for these? They’re considered weeds by most…so why would he keep them.

Thinking about it wouldn’t do him any good, it would only serve to further his descent into madness, which was already well on its way. Put yourself in his shoes and you’d have lost your marbles too! To be fair, though, his were long gone far before this.

He’s snapped out of his thoughts by Pure Vanilla groaning, letting out a yawn right in Shadow Milk’s ear. “Oh…is it morning already?” He reaches over to grab his staff, its eye zeroing in on Shadow Milk. “Oh dear!” Pure Vanilla immediately released him, lightly brushing the doll's clothes off where they were wrinkled.

“I’m terribly sorry Shadow Milk, I must’ve latched onto you in my slumber. My sincerest apologies.” He sits up, and holds the doll gently before him. “Maybe I should leave you on the bedside tonight? That was terribly rude of me!” Uh. Okay. Yeah. This is really weird and I want to go home now please. Shadow Milk couldn’t possibly comprehend why Pure Vanilla was apologizing so genuinely…to a doll. A doll that he believed to be inanimate. Maybe turning into Truthless Recluse had lasting consequences on his psyche.

He carefully set Shadow Milk down, leaning against the vase of milkcrowns, facing the wall instead of Pure Vanilla as he hastily got dressed. “I honestly didn’t even consider the fact I might’ve grabbed onto you while fast asleep, and for that I am regretful…” He mumbled to himself. There was really no need for him to beat himself up about it. At least not for so long.

As I’ve said time and time again, his kindness will be his undoing. 

Shadow Milk is picked up once more, facing the now clothed cookie. “I was so distraught I didn’t even properly greet you! Good morning, Shadow Milk!” He smiled sweetly, I can already feel a cavity coming on. “Hm…I don’t think I should leave you here by yourself all day…you’d get far too lonely!” I am NOT lonely you- “The pockets of this robe aren’t as big as the one I wore yesterday…ah!” He was suddenly struck with an idea, which unsettled Shadow Milk greatly. 

He was right to be unsettled, because he was now in Pure Vanilla Cookie’s hat. His stupid, far too big waffle cone hat. The one I made was far more tasteful! This is simply too much yellow. “There. Now you can come with me and not be seen! I don’t think Clotted Cream Cookie would appreciate me putting you on the table between us…aha.” THAT guy? Ugh, I hate that guy and I’ve only ever seen him through Pure Vanilla’s eyes. His face is just so…punchable.

“I do hope you won’t mind tagging along, but at least it will certainly be more interesting than sitting holed up in here all day!” Shadow Milk could practically see the small smile on Pure Vanilla’s face. I honestly thought he would just shove me under the bed while he dealt with politics…I shouldn’t have had such high hopes.

The door creaking open signified their exit. Guess we’re doing this today, can’t say I missed it. The last time he had to deal with politics…let's just say he went off the deep end a bit. It wasn’t his fault they got traumatized from his illusions! They should’ve known he was one push away from corruption anyway, since the other beasts turned before him. At least he isn’t the one on the hotseat today, though, not like he could defend himself even if he were. Plush dolls don’t have working vocal cords, oddly enough.

“I need to tend to the gardens before our meeting with Clotted Cream, the orchids get rather thirsty this time of year.” Yeah of course they do, at least it postpones seeing that guy. Eugh.

The sound of his footsteps changed from tile to grass, crunching under his feet. Still freaks me out that he walks around barefoot all day.

“Good morning, everyone! It was quite dry last night, so extra water is in order!” So, he talks to his plants too, noted. Water hits metal, filling up his watering can quickly. Wow, fancy! Back when I had flowers you had to get water from the river, we didn’t have watering pumps unfortunately…maybe that’s why my orchids kept dying. Pure Vanilla hums to himself as he works, watering each and every flower bloom that needed it. Shadow Milk didn’t want to admit how calm it made him, so he didn’t! This emotion bottling stuff was just too easy.

“There, now you should all suffice until tomorrow morning.” He set the now empty can back where he found it, brushing his hands off. “Well, guess we can’t put off seeing Clotted Cream Cookie any longer.” Hey so is it too late for you to just kill me actually.

His footsteps returned to tiled floors, but something else caught Shadow Milk’s ear.

“Did you hear what happened with Wafflecone Cookie and her husband?” He heard a whisper from behind them, oooo staff gossip! Pure Vanilla do NOT take this away from me or I’ll make your demise slow and torturous. “Oh dear, what happened? Did she catch him cheating again?” AGAIN? “Yes! This time with her twin sister, Pancake Syrup Cookie! I was in shock when I heard, I mean, the audacity that man has!” If you told Shadow Milk cookie that he would be overhearing insane gossip in the Vanilla Kingdom? He would’ve laughed in your face. It’s called vanilla for a reason! Or so he thought.

“That rascal! I’ve got half a mind to go teach him a lesson myself.” You go girl! Beat him up! Just be sure to discuss the outcome in my vicinity.

“Oh oh, I heard that Pancake Syrup didn’t know it was him since she’s dating his twin!” A third, excitable, voice chimed in. Twinception over here, jeez.

“Really? I thought he had a brother, not a twin…” The first voice replied.

“No, it’s definitely a twin! I’ve seen them both running around the castle.” The second said, and then Pure Vanilla walked out of hearing range. Your death will be painful, mark my words.

“That was certainly some gossip!” Pure Vanilla whispers to himself once they’re in an empty hallway. “I’ll have to fill you in on it when we get back, since you love rumors so much I’m sure some good ol’ gossip will entertain you enough, right?” You’re forgiven…for now. Then it hit him, You’re a little gossip too! Ha! I bet he paints his fingernails with the other ancients and kicks his feet like a schoolgirl. Now that would be hilarious.

The doors, to what Shadow Milk can only assume was a meeting room, swung open loudly with a creak. Does no one know how to oil hinges in this place? That took a decade off of my lifespan!

“Ah, Pure Vanilla Cookie! I’m glad to see you’ve made it.” Shadow Milk had been so engrossed in the staff gossip that he completely forgot about the Crème republic representative, Clotted Cream Cookie himself. He hated cookies like him, always wearing an arrogant smile without cracking even once under pressure. It was no fun, no fun at all!

“Of course, how could I brush off such an important meeting?” He took his seat across from him, a placate smile adorning his face.

“Well, you certainly brushed off the guards we tried to assist you with.” Does that even count as passive aggressive still, or has it crossed into plain old aggressive? I’m leaning towards the latter!

“I simply did not wish to saddle your guards with an unreasonable job considering I am perfectly able to protect myself, but the concern is appreciated.” Get ‘em Pure Vanilla! Then Shadow Milk realized who he was rooting for, oh, ew, gross. I hate him more though so still get 'em.

“Hm, yes.” Silent, or silenced? He learned it from me, bee tee dubs. “Moving on to what this meeting is truly about, the Crème republic is very interested in your findings from that beast’s old area of operations. So, did you have any run-ins with monsters of deceit?” He spat the word ‘beast’ like venom. A single crack in his meticulously created mask.

“No, Shadow Milk Cookie ’s domain was only littered with debris and nothing more. There weren’t signs of anything living, so he and his followers likely fled right after the spire’s collapse.” Pure Vanilla emphasized his name. Oh ho ho! Lying about our base of operations to a government official? How scandalous!

“Hm, that is quite intriguing. I’ll be sure to report your findings back to the Crème republic in due time.” The harsh scratch of his chair against the tile broadcasted his exit.

“I wish you safe travels.”

…

The door clicks shut, and Pure Vanilla deflates. “Oh, thank the witches he’s gone.” Oh dear! Does Pure Vanilla secretly harbor hatred for the Crème republic? Shadow Milk is blinded by the light when Pure Vanilla removes him from his hat. Give a guy a bit of warning won’t ya!? “I’m a terrible liar when it comes to things like this…I thought he was going to pester me, thankfully he didn’t…I fear I would’ve crumbled embarrassingly quickly.” He wore a self-deprecating smile. Shadow Milk thought that expression of his was his most punchable, even more so than Clotted Cream’s default one.

“I’m just glad I didn’t spill the jellybeans, I’d hate for him to take you in as evidence. You’re far too cute to waste away in a lab.” Oh you flatterer you! Keep going, no, really. He traced his stitched mouth, smile turning gentle. “You were made with care, and so I’ll treat you with care. It’s what you deserve.” Shadow Milk subconsciously wished he were talking to him, not the doll.

Chapter Text

Ignoring his slight emotional break back there, the rest of the day was fairly normal. (If you don’t include the fact that he’s literally a plush doll being held captive in his worst enemy's claws.) He was, yet again, hidden under Pure Vanilla Cookie’s hat, his only view being yellow. The color was slowly growing on him like a parasite. He tried not to think about that too in depth, though. He had more pressing matters to worry about at the moment, like his powers. He should, key word should , have some semblance of magic rushing through his non-existent veins, but he could only feel a slight spark. At most he could maybe conjure a portal, but even then, it wouldn’t take him all the way back to Beast Yeast. I do wonder how my minions are doing without me…hopefully they don’t tear down the forest looking for lil ol me! Ha! Ha…ha.

He knew Candy Apple would probably be throwing a tantrum, while poor Black Sapphire tried to console her. They’d be fine though, because they had each other. They survived when he was trapped in the tree, they’d be alright while he was gone for a little while. At least he hoped it would only be a little while. He might lose his mind if he had to spend more than a week with mister goody-two-shoes. Blegh, I feel sick just thinking about it!

He was far too kind, and Shadow Milk felt himself getting desensitized to it. Used to it. It made him feel filthy, infected. Like Pure Vanilla’s affection took a physical form and wormed its way under his skin, wriggling nauseatingly as it slowly consumed him. His kindness disgusts me.

Back to the present, though, Pure Vanilla was making his way back to his room. Seems that abdicating cleared his schedule. For the most part, that is. The pile of letters came to mind, politics seem to be inescapable. Shadow Milk wished he’d just put his foot down already, not because he CARED or anything! He didn’t! Shut up! He just didn’t think that those sniveling citizens deserved his attention. He found joy in Pure Vanilla’s dismay, he found it hilarious, actually!

Pure Vanilla’s sigh brought him out of his thoughts before he was too far gone. “I dislike dealing with politics, I much prefer tending to the flowers and sheep…” This time Shadow Milk was prepared for the light that greeted him, still wish I added eyelids to this thing. He mourned the loss of the darkness, light bouncing off his mismatched button eyes.

He’s sat on Pure Vanilla’s desk, right where he was last night. “Hm…I don’t have any more letters to respond to, oh what to do, what to do?” He angled his staff looking at the desk, slipping a piece of paper in front of the eye. “White Lily Cookie says that journaling helps, and I’ve heard that writing letters to people without sending them can be cathartic. Who to start with, though?" if I hear my name I'm using the last bit of my magic to teleport you as far away from me as possible. "Hm. Perhaps I should begin lightly with Custard Cookie, there are quite a few things I wish I could tell him but…I find myself getting cold feet when I try.” He frowned, but began to write. Good, that was an empty threat anyway. I wouldn't bother wasting my magic on the likes of you!

“‘Dear Custard Cookie,’” Shadow Milk was slightly thankful that he read aloud, simply because it decreased the boringness of watching this activity. The silence was so so much worse than his annoying voice. “‘I do hope GingerBrave’s kingdom is treating you well! It pains me to know that you’re alone, and I wish I could be there for you as some kind of paternal figure.’” Well, he does tend to the sheep well enough, suppose that’s close to raising a child!

“‘I know you grieve the loss of your father still, but I’ve always wished to tell you about him in life. He was a good man, a noble man. As was his father before him, your grandfather. The Custard family has always been a close ally of mine, a friend. I hope that one day when you grow up, we can discuss your father without it bringing you emotional turmoil, until then, this letter will do.’” Huh, didn’t know that kid had daddy issues. All Shadow Milk knew about the squirt was his relation to the Vanilla Kingdom, and his ties with GingerBrave and his group of do-gooders.

Pure Vanilla puts the letter into one of the desk's many drawers before grabbing another slip of paper. “That was quite the mood lifter, perhaps I should write another?” The pupil glances at Shadow Milk, oh don’t you dare-!

“‘Dear Shadow Milk Cookie,’” here we go. Too bad my magic is so depleted or I'd turn your hands into snakes. Can't write a mushy letter with snake hands! Ha!  “‘I know you won’t ever read this, but I do hope you’re doing well. The same goes for Candy Apple and Black Sapphire, but I must admit my favoritism towards you.’” Daw, such a charmer! “Hm…what else to say? I have far too many words to put onto paper.” He tapped the end of his quill to his chin in thought, I thought you were good with words, silly Vanilly! They came quite easily when writing to that brat, am I simply too intimidating to approach? “‘I miss our chats, even if I might not be so believable to you.”” The room felt cold all of a sudden. “‘I understand your hatred of me, although I certainly wish it weren’t so. I want to be your frie-’” 

Shut up shut up shut up shut up. Shut. Up. Shut. Up. SHUT. UP. SHUT. UP. SHUT! UP! SHUT UP!

I won’t fall for your tricks, you know, don’t you? You know that I’m trapped here. You must, you have to, why else would you be lying in a letter you don’t even plan on sending me? Reading it aloud, you have to be tricking me. There’s absolutely no way you aren’t, because there’s no way you could possibly mean those empty words.

Shadow Milk tuned out the rest of Pure Vanilla’s ramble, not wanting to let himself fall for such manipulation. Pretending to be ignorant of his predicament, how could Shadow Milk be so stupid? He was jolted out of his enraged train of thought by Pure Vanilla folding up the paper, resting it beside the previous unsent letter. “There, hm. I do feel a weight off of my shoulders now. I’ll be sure to partake more, even if it feels a bit silly writing to someone who will never read it.” He laughed lightly into his hand. Shadow Milk Cookie felt sick, he wanted nothing more than to rip the soft smile from Pure Vanilla’s face, to dig his claws into the skin surrounding it and tear. Watch as his expression turned horrified, maybe even surprised. Maybe even guilty.

The chair screeching punctured his ears as he’s picked up once more, let go of me you lying little- “I do wish I could tell him those things in person, though. You’re the closest thing I’ve got.” He sighed, he sighed like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. Either way Shadow Milk wanted him to stop acting- it felt like his heart was being pulled apart, the inside turned outside for the world to take in his vulnerability. He wanted to scream, wanted to hurt someone, not even caring who at this point. But he also wanted to curl up into a ball in his spire and cry himself to sleep in the comfort of his own home, but he couldn’t do that now, could he? Even if he weren’t in this puny form, the spire was still gone.

Shadow Milk needed to take a metaphorical deep breath and calm down, there was no reason to get so worked up about a problem he couldn’t currently do anything to solve. It was only going to hurt him in the end.

He doesn’t know that you know, just…play along for now. Not like you can do much else at this point. He won’t suspect that you’ve seen through him. He won the first time, so he’s going to be cocky, arrogant. Strike when he least expects it.

“It’s a bit early to go tend to the sheep…but I don’t have any more meetings or papers to see to.” He tenderly brushed off imaginary dirt from Shadow Milk’s clothes, it felt like he was being burned alive.

“Maybe I should leave you in here so you don’t get ruined outside, I’m afraid of the sheep getting ahold of you.” Sure. Whatever makes you leave me ALONE. It’s impossible to think clearly with you pestering me.

Pure Vanilla gently set him on one of his pillows and tucked him into the blanket. “There, now you should be comfortable while I’m gone! I apologize if you get lonely, but I don’t plan on taking too long.” He looked guilty, biting the inside of his cheek with an apprehensive expression. You just don’t want to leave me alone because you’re scared I’ll turn back and destroy your precious little kingdom! He gave him two pats on the head before turning to leave, stopping by the curtains to close them on his way. At least he has some semblance of decency.

“Goodbye, Shadow Milk.” The door closed with a click, and silence washed over the room. The anger burning beneath the surface of his skin drained, leaving him a husk of nothing. He wanted to feel angry, but there was no point . Maybe Mystic Flour Cookie was right, nothing really mattered.

No.

Don’t think like that, the other beasts would never let you hear the end of it! THE Shadow Milk Cookie, agreeing with Mystic Flour? The grump? Never! Unheard of! Get a grip, just because he knows it’s you doesn’t mean anything. Nothing will change, you will still regain your powers in due time and return to Beast Yeast. He didn’t even consider the off chance that Pure Vanilla didn’t know, because that would mean he meant it. ‘Let me be your friend’ would turn from a double-edged sword to a hilt being handed his way. A stab in the back to a warm hug. If he even entertained the thought that Pure Vanilla meant what he said, he might do something stupid. Something stupid like taking that hilt, accepting that hug-

No, he wouldn’t let himself be tricked again.

Pure Vanilla Cookie sighed as he lightly scratched behind a sheep’s ear. “I don’t know how to help him, no matter how much I wish I did. I know he’s out there, somewhere, hurting.” He rested his forehead against its cotton-candy wool. “Do you have any insights, Drizzle?” He asked the sheep but only received a ‘baa!’ in reply.

Another sheep trotted up to him, butting his hand for attention. “Ah, good afternoon, Cotton. You seem rather affectionate this evening.” He obliged to the sheep’s demands and pet its head carefully. “You wouldn’t happen to have good friendship advice, would you? You used to hate Drizzle, but now you two get along, how did you do it?” Again, a simple ‘baa!’ is all he gets in response. He sighed, “I just wish he would’ve listened to me instead of lashing out, he looked like he wanted to take my hand- so I just don’t understand why he pushed it to the side instead. The scene plays over and over in my head as I wonder what could I have done differently ? It plagues my waking hours, and even my slumber at times.” The sheep, who clearly either had no idea what he was saying or didn’t care, continued to soak up his attention.

He felt his eyes burn, and hastily scrubbed them with the palms of his hands. “No, I cannot falter. I must keep my composure.” Another sheep joins them, content to simply watch his misery. “Ah, Berry. I wasn’t expecting you.” He didn’t move to pet the sheep; he found out the hard way that Berry hated being sought out. Last time he tried to even pat him on the head he almost got his hand bitten off. It served him well to wait it out, if he wanted attention, he would seek it out.

“Do you have any advice to bestow, Berry?” Berry baa’d and laid down with a plop.

“You’re right, it doesn’t do me any good to dwell on the ‘what-if’s. The only thing I can do now is try again. And if that doesn’t work, I simply have to get up and give it another go. I won’t give up on him, I won’t let myself!”

Chapter Text

Black Sapphire Cookie was going to kill someone. Honestly, he didn't even care about who at this point. He just needed to vent his frustration on something .

His legs and wings ached from roaming around the forest for so long with no end in sight, to put it simply; he was exhausted. His every fiber burned.

The only reason they were out here in the first place was to find food. Sure they didn't get as famished as normal cookies, but they still needed to eat. Shadow Milk had been the one to conjure up intricate meals for them, mostly so they didn't burn his spire to the ground cooking for themselves, but the point still stands.

He and Candy Apple Cookie had been out for far longer than usual scavenging, she had been talking her head off and distracted him from their path. So they got lost, terribly so. 

“We aren’t lost! We’re, uhm, still in the forest so we know where we are!” Candy Apple said, adamant that they weren’t lost beyond belief.

“ Sure ,” Sarcasm dripped from the word, “We know where we are, but we don’t know where the base is!” He scowled, rubbing his temples. “How are we supposed to find our way home if we don’t know where home is?!”

She pouted, rubbing her arm anxiously. “Wh-what are we gonna do now, then? Our wings aren’t strong enough to fly above the trees to find o-”

“Wait.” He put a hand up to shush her. “Sure we can’t fly, but getting up high might reveal a path back. Hm. Climb that tree and see if you can find anything.” He gestured vaguely to the tallest tree near them.

“Why ME?! You can do it just fine!” Eugh, time to do what you do best, Black Sapphire!

“Oh, but I thought that such a difficult task would be childsplay for you! Guess I’ll just have to do it and rescue the both of us- I wonder how proud Master would be of me, then? A problem solver, he’d call me.” As soon as ‘Master’ left his mouth she was already sprinting towards the tree. “I’VE GOT IT!” She shouted, rapidly ascending to the top. Some would call this child labor, or manipulation , he calls it ‘amply using his resources.’

“Do you see anything?” He shouted up at her as she squinted in all directions. She suddenly perked up and pointed south-

“YEAH! IT’S THAT WAY!” She screeched, and he felt thankful that she was so far up.

“Okay, you can come back down now!” He turned to look at his nails and adjust his collar, and looked back to see- oh dear witches did she JUMP-?! He jerked forward to catch her, barely managing. “Are you crazy ?!” He set her down.

“What? If you didn’t catch me I’d have just used my wings! Duh!” She put her hands on her hips as she glared back up at him.

“Eugh, you’re impossible.” He rolled his eyes and began walking in the direction she pointed in. “Let’s go, we’re wasting daylight arguing.”

“Wait for me!” She scurried up behind him, arms crossed. “If you leave me alone out here I’ll kill you!”

“Sure you will. If you grow a bit more, maybe you’ll be able to reach more than my ankles!” He snickered to himself as she punched his arms.

“Shut up you overrated twink! I don’t need to reach anything if I use my bombs on you!”

They squabbled for most of the way back, in his defence it was really funny to rile her up. He swore he could see smoke coming out of her ears with how mad she got! She never changes, does she? Just as much of a tantrum thrower as when I first saw her.

It felt like they’d been walking for hours when Candy Apple piped up once more, deciding that giving him the cold shoulder wasn’t worth it. “Black Sapphireeee how far are we?” Candy Apple whined, her wings dragging on the forest floor. “I'm so tireddddd! And we need to check on Master Shadow Milk Cookie soon!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose to curb his frustration. “How would I know? You’re the one that looked, and Master will be fine . He was trapped in that tree for witches know how long, he'll survive being alone for a while.”

“B-but what if a little thief comes and takes him from us again !!!” Her voice turned wobbly, and Black Sapphire's annoyance dissipated. He crouched to her level, wiping at her barely shed tears.

“Hey, we'll get back to the Master soon, alright? He'll heal up, because act two cannot begin without the director.” She sniffled weakly.

“Yeah. Yeah! You're right! We're the supporting cast, so we'll protect him no matter what!” Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. Actually, how do you sleep at night with all those plushies? I never considered it but…wouldn't they all get stuck to your candy apples?

Now was not the time to be thinking about the logistics of those… things . “Do you. Want to, eugh , ride on my back?” He forced the offer through gritted teeth. “You look like you’re about to drop dead.” He also felt slightly bad for making her climb up that tree, not bad enough to not do it again but still.

She squealed, “Yes!” She latched onto his back, nails digging into his shoulders. “Onward my steed!”

“Do not call me that you brat.” He spat, but she only giggled to herself in reply.

At least she's having fun…

Pure Vanilla was taking longer than anticipated, which left Shadow Milk Cookie to his thoughts. Did he fall and break his back or something? I wouldn’t be too surprised with how brittle old cookies are. He giggled internally at the thought, imagining Pure Vanilla laying in a field of sheep unable to get up and resigning to his fate of living there. Oh who am I kidding, he would happily lay there all day if he had the excuse! That man loved all his sheep more than some cookies loved their children.

Sigh. He sure loves taking his time. He really wished he could turn into something animated to mess with him-

Wait. That's perfect! Sure I can’t turn back into myself yet, but a small animal should be no problem at all. His power had slowly but surely been building back up, he could easily turn into a critter to mess the room up! He internally cackled, yes…yes! That’s just it, I’ll mess up all his papers and misery will ensue!

He cleared his mind and focused on his magic, feeling it flow through his fabric form. He didn’t think about what animal to turn into, just a creature small enough to keep his magic from depleting. A bright flash of light blinded him for a second, he blinked his eyes open. Hm, I feel even smaller. Somehow. He went to move his neck, hissing as he saw no legs beneath him. Typical. A snake. Of course. What else did he expect?

He sighed, wishing he could rub his temples. He slithered off the bed and onto the bedside table, flicking his tongue in thought. He went to knock Pure Vanilla’s vase of milkcrowns over, but hesitated. These were his flowers, born from tears of those deceived. He hissed, turning away bitterly. It would simply cause too much suspicion to actually break anything.

He plopped down onto the carpeted floor, what to do, what to do? Hmmmm maybe I could mess up his desk? He climbed up the side, wrapping himself around the leg. He huffs, not used to exerting himself from being still for so long. He takes a moment to breathe, looking at the papers strewn about. Most of it was political jargon, which he didn’t care much about.

He nosed the top papers, but underneath was much the same. Ew, does he only have boring junk? He used his tail to scatter them, a few landing on the floor. Much better! He smirked to himself.

Glancing down to see the damage his eye was caught by an open drawer- oh. Right. That's where the stupid letter he wrote that I tuned out is. He slammed the drawer closed before leaving the desk.

The only other interesting things are his bookshelf and wardrobe, but those would be too difficult to mess with as a snake.

He hissed before sliding up the bedside table, and returning to the bed. He felt refreshed, like an itch had been scratched. Being immobile for so long had made him far more antsy than he thought.

He didn't want to turn back, but he had to. No matter how funny Pure Vanilla's reaction to a snake in his bed would be. He has to act like he didn't know that Pure Vanilla knew, ya know? Oh who am I kidding this is far too convoluted already. He huffed before transforming back, bright light blinding him momentarily.

I forgot how grossly still this form is. He hated this. Hated being conformed to a lifeless doll of all things. At least in the Silver Tree he could move .

But then again, he didn't have Pure Vanilla in the tree, did he? Ew, no! I'd take the tree over being trapped with him any day! He assured himself.

The door swung open so quietly he almost didn't notice, speak of the witches.

“Ah, what happened in here…?” He used his staff to survey the room, frowning at the sight of his desk in disarray. “How odd, the window is closed.” He huffed to himself, smiling softly at Shadow Milk.

“Did you see what happened, Shadow Milk Cookie? Even if you did, I doubt you'd tell me.” He pat the doll's head lightly before going to his desk and cleaning up. This irritated Shadow Milk to no end. Why is he so infuriatingly calm?! Why won't he just snap already and show his true colors! 

“There, nice and clean.” The desk looked better than it was even before he messed it up. Pure Vanilla's staff glanced at him. “Look on the bright side, I probably wouldn't have gotten around to organizing if this hadn't happened.” He smiled. Shadow Milk wished he left as a snake, even if he knew he didn't have nearly enough stamina to get out of the Vanilla Kingdom, let alone get back to Beast Yeast . 

“Hm, did you move too?” He straightened the doll up, a fond expression adorning his face. “Maybe a whirlwind really did go through here, haha.” He giggled into his hand at the absurd thought. Yeah, me! I’m the whirlwind! Stupid cookie, stupid smile, stupid pretty eyes- from a purely analytical standpoint of course!

“Ah, right, I need to change!” He gently picked Shadow Milk up and placed him facing away on the bedside table. “There we go.” He hummed to himself, the only indication he left being his muffled footsteps. “I talked to the sheep, discussing problems with them is…therapeutic. Even if they can offer no distinguishable response, it helps me to talk it out.” …are you insinuating I’m a sheep to you? You sure seem to talk your problems out at me, too.

His train of thought was cut off by Pure Vanilla picking him up again, just can’t keep your hands to yourself, can you? “Where should I put you for tonight? The bedside table should suffice, right? I wouldn’t want to grab onto you again…” He mumbled to himself. Just put me on the table, I’ll be fine! I’d rather not be held like a teddy bear tonight. Thanks.

He carefully placed him back down, laying on his side. “That should be comfortable enough.” He smiled before slipping beneath the covers, facing him. “Goodnight, Shadow Milk Cookie. Sleep tight.” Pure Vanilla reached out one hand to pat him on the head before getting situated, eyes closing at long last.

…I’m bored already. He hated how he had begun to depend on Pure Vanilla for entertainment, but he was the only candidate for the job. So there he sat, bored out of his mind staring at him.

Eventually, he had been staring for so long that Pure Vanilla's breaths evened out. He could try and run, escape these walls, but that posed the question of what then? Where would he go? What if someone worse found him, and tore him to shreds? No, he couldn't leave until he could sustain his cookie form. That was non-negotiable.

He was so under stimulated in fact, that it gave him an idea. If I come into contact with him, I could enter his dreams. He hadn't thought of doing so the night prior for two reasons, 1) he didn't expect Pure Vanilla to grab him in the middle of the night and 2) he didn't have enough power to move himself to touch the other.

But now he did . Entering any other cookie's mind would've taken far more effort, and therefore magic that he didn't have, but Pure Vanilla was different. Shadow Milk had already made the door, carved it out with his own two hands, he just needed to walk in.

The light from transforming shouldn't wake him, right? The only way it could was if Pure Vanilla was connected to his staff, which had been put against the bedside table. Thankfully the eye was closed, otherwise it would be looking directly at him.

He focused, the transformation coming easier than the last time. The flash of light was considerably diluted, whether that be because he wanted it to be or not he couldn't say. Silently slithering over to the bed, placing himself close enough to graze the other cookie. Wish this thing had Bluetooth. He thought as the flash of light returned him into a doll once more, Pure Vanilla’s only reaction was a furrowed brow.

Let the show begin!

Chapter Text

It was bright, annoyingly so. His dreams are just as bright as he is. He huffs, and then realizes he's in his cookie form. “Oh thank the witches, this would've been all for nought if I was still a doll!” Speaking, using his voice even in a dream, felt nice. He could be heard .

Looking around he realized he was outside Pure Vanilla's greenhouse; the one filled to the brim with white lilies. Ugh, of all the places to be he just HAD to pick here. He floated (floated! He could do that!) over to the doors, phasing through them. Dreams were malleable, and he was going to take full advantage of that.

This dream replica had a wider variety of flowers, the lilies still mixed in of course. Hm. Some of these specimens are extinct. His eye grazes over the color blue, a familiar blue, his milkcrowns. Walking around the corner only reveals more of them. He felt. Strangely flattered. There were almost as many milkcrowns as lilies, and that was saying a lot. Looking past that, Pure Vanilla was sat watering a patch of blue roses attentively, humming a tune to himself all the while.

He doesn't know that I can still go into his dreams, so I'll need to act like nothing's wrong.

“Oh, Vanilly! There you are!” He strode in like he owned the place, expecting fear, nerves, even anger. But what he didn't account for was the bright, sickeningly genuine, smile thrown his way.

“Shadow Milk! It's nice to see you out and about, dear.” Uh. What. He stood up gracefully, switching out the watering can for his staff before walking up to him. “Did you get enough sleep? You have bags under your eyes…” He frowned, his staff's gaze scrutinizing Shadow Milk.

“Daw, no need to worry about lil ol me, silly! I don't need sleep.” He only slept when he had nothing else to do, which seemed to be happening a lot recently. He pat Pure Vanilla's head condescendingly.

“Hm. You might be able to push on without it, but that doesn't mean you don't need it.” He stressed, grasping the other's hand from his head and holding it in his own. “You need to take care of yourself.”

What in the name of the witches is going on? Why is he fretting over me like this, he hates me. Shadow Milk resisted the urge to rip his hand out of Pure Vanilla's, if he did he would raise suspicion. He had to go along with what he said, what he did.

“Tch.” He grit his teeth in a smile too wide for his face. “I suppose your words could have a semblance of truth to them, you don't hold the souljam of truth for nothing.” He forced his smile to soften, no matter how much it wanted to drop completely, to turn into a scowl.

Pure Vanilla's own smile returned to his face, gentle and patient. “Good, I'd hate for my favorite jester to be so sleep deprived he can't tell even a simple knock knock joke.” He giggled into his hand softly.

“I'd sure hope I'm your favorite, I'm the only jester you know! Unless you count Clotted Cream Cookie, but he's more so a clown.” His grin turned real, sharpened, as he snickered. Pure Vanilla huffed in amusement.

“You shouldn't say such things, even if they are humorous. Especially don't go doing that in front of the man himself.” He flicked Shadow Milk's forehead.

“Wha- hey! He's not even here! I'm simply stating the truth, what more could you want from me?” He rubbed his forehead with a pout, grumbling expletives to himself.

“Language, dear.” Why does he keep calling me that? Is he insane or just plain stupid. “Ah, right, did you need something?” He tilted his head like a dog, he'd be a shepherding dog if anything. A fluffy one. This observation did NOT stem from his urge to run his fingers through the others hair. Not that he had such an urge in the first place!

“Am I not allowed to seek you out simply because I wanted to?” He thought about a bouquet appearing in the hand behind his back and it did, “but you caught me! I have a little present for our resident king!” He presented the bouquet of daffodils with a flourish. “Ta-da! The roots are still attached if you wanna plant them.” Might as well play nice in this dream, giving him a nightmare would be amusing but…the change in scenery is refreshing. Plus it would strain my magic to manipulate his dream in such a large fashion.

“Oh…thank you.” Pure Vanilla smiled softly at the bouquet as he took them carefully. “Leaving the roots was quite considerate of you, I'll plant all but one to press in a book.” He pressed a feather light kiss to Shadow Milk's cheek before turning to his garden like it hadn't even occurred.

He felt his face burn from the touch, spreading like wildfire to the rest of his face. What…WAS that? Is he crazy, or am I reading into it too much? He can't wish to court you, he wants to lock you in the tree again! This is just a dream he wouldn't do something like this in the waking world…would he? No, no. This has to be some strange cultural difference. Like how the faeries find giving gifts as the most intimate form of connection but other places don’t- that's all it is. In this dream he's fed into his own delusion of friendship, and he simply followed protocol and gave me a kiss on the cheek as thanks! Yeah, yeah. That has to be right.

He conjured a fan and snapped it open, cooling his face with a few waves of it. “Wow, these roots are perfectly intact!” He heard Pure Vanilla mutter to himself as he took them out of the paper. “Did you get these yourself?” His staff glanced at Shadow Milk.

“Of course, nothing less than perfect is acceptable!” He tossed the fan behind him; it didn't make a sound if it hit the ground. “Any other cookie would have pulled the flower free from the ground instead of digging carefully around it. Luckily for you -” he booped the other's nose. “-I'm not any other cookie.”

“How fortunate indeed.” His lips twitched upwards. “What ever would I do without you?”

“Eh, die probably.” Shadow Milk shrugged, laying down in the air as he peeked over his shoulder. The trowel Pure Vanilla had been using dissipated as soon as he set it down to place the flowers, so he used his hands to carefully cover the roots with dirt.

“There!” He leaned back and smiled at his handiwork. They were planted around the patch of blue roses, almost protectively. He stood up and brushed off his robe before turning back to Shadow Milk.

“Now your garden isn't so boring, hmmmm?” He tilted his head at an unnatural angle, which only elicited a chuckle from the blonde.

“My garden is never boring with you around.” If he didn't know any better he'd call his tone fond .

“Of course it isn't! No where that has me has the capability to be boring!” He did a spin in the air, landing on his feet. Unfortunately, his height was accurate to the real world, forcing his head to tilt upwards to look Pure Vanilla in the eye.

“Hm, your face is…bluer than usual. Would you like to go back inside?” He pressed the back of his hand to the shorter's forehead with a crease between his eyebrows. That fan had ONE job!

“I'm fine! But if you want to go in and are using me as a scapegoat then yes, I would like to go back in.” His face burned more at the attention drawn to it, forcing him to turn away. “Chop chop!” He floated out the door, trying to focus and get his stupid face to cool off witches-

“Ah, coming!” He heard him scramble to follow, his staff's signature clack clack clack following him closely.

The walk back inside was filled only with comfortable silence. Thankfully it soothed his burning face, otherwise he'd be forced to turn this into a nightmare out of sheer embarrassment, even if it hurt his magic. They entered the castle, but instead of the expected hallway he was faced with Pure Vanilla's room, the only addition being- the doll.

“A-apologies!” Pure Vanilla rushed past him and hid the plush, a red tint to his face. “I had forgotten about that…haha…” He laughed sheepishly.

“Aww you really did miss me! How could I blame you, I'm the perfect cookie after all.” Shadow Milk chuckled, invading his personal space.

“Well, of course I did.” He, surprisingly, stood his ground, not backing up like anticipated. “As you've said, you bring a light to my life.” …I did NOT say that. I only said everywhere without me is boring!!! I would never say something so…mushy. So stop putting words in my mouth!

“Yeah, yeah.” He backed up, it wasn't fun to invade someone's personal space if they invited you in. “You're just a sap!”

“Your sap.” He threw back at him with a smile, almost short-circuiting Shadow Milk's brain. What is this idiot on about now? You know what, I don't want to know.

“Either way you're still sickeningly sentimental.” He crossed his arms, turning his head away.

“Only for you, dear.” Really wish I was a fair maiden right now, then I could hide my face with a fan and arouse zero suspicion. Instead, he lightly hit Pure Vanilla in the head.

“Shut it before I shut it for you.” He glared. “On another note, why do you have that thing anyway?” He tried to take a peek at the doll being held captive behind the other's back.

“Ah, such a simple reason I'm afraid. I saw him in the rubble and felt bad for the poor little guy.” He brought the doll in front of him, it looked far cleaner than the real thing.

“It's a doll, not a dog.” Shadow Milk interjected.

“Still, I'll take care of him much the same.” Why does he lie, even in his sleep?

“What, do you cuddle it like a scared toddler?” He sneered, arms crossed. Pure Vanilla's face turned redder.

“Well, on accident…but it was unintentional on my part!”

“...did the doll just so happen to crawl into your embrace?” He tilted his head with such force that his torso moved with it. Little does he know.

“You're so silly.” He shook his head with amusement, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing the doll on his bedside table. Right next to the vase of milkcrowns, which was far fuller than in the waking world. “I wonder what time it is…”

“Time to get a watch!” Shadow Milk snickered, kicking his feet in the air. “But no, it’s time to wake up.” He was done with this dream land, it was far too sweet for his liking and he couldn’t leave until the host woke up.

“What? I’m already…” Pure Vanilla looked down at his hands and pinched one with the other. “Oh. That didn’t hurt. I guess I really am still sleeping.” He sighed. “So you aren’t…real. None of this is.” This turned far more somber an atmosphere than anticipated. “Disappointing, but to be expected. Since I’m going to wake up soon, could I…have a hug? Just before you go?” He looked pathetic, his eyebrows were furrowed, making him look like a sad puppy on the side of the road.

He knew he shouldn’t, but at the same time he had to, didn’t he? If he didn’t Pure Vanilla might catch onto him. That’s what he told himself as he lowered himself from the air, taking a step forward. “Fineeee.” He held his arms up. “Just get it over with quickly, now, before I change my mind!”

Pure Vanilla smiled and took a step, wrapping his arms around the shorter. “Thank you.” The world distorted around them, melting, disintegrating, he couldn’t even tell. They were in the kitchen, then the spire, back to the garden, and more he couldn’t discern.

He closed his eyes tightly; I've always hated this part.

Chapter Text

He jolted back to consciousness harshly, the claustrophobia of the doll hitting him in an instant. Well. It was nice while it lasted. Even though it was Pure Vanilla Cookie, it was refreshing to have a real conversation. (He missed their banter, no matter how much he didn't want to admit it.)

He took in the predicament he'd put himself in the night before, he was held even more tightly to the other cookie's chest than last time. Clingy much? He felt the other stir behind him.

“Hmmm…?” He yawned, right in my ear! “Oh! I'm terribly sorry Shadow Milk!” He released the doll from its arm-y prison. “I don't know how I even got a hold of you this time.” He frowned as he put him back on the bedside table, leaning against the vase.

“That dream I had…it felt more…real than usual.” Is he onto me? Crumbs, don't rip me apart I don't know how that affects my real body yet! “Maybe it was more intense because of my thoughts before falling asleep…only the moon truly knows.” Whatever makes you drop it sure. Wait. You were thinking about me-?

His train of thought was interrupted by the taller spinning him to face the wall. “Can't forget to turn you around!” He hummed, moving to his wardrobe to dress himself. Don't kings usually have servants to do that? He's abdicated, so maybe he just doesn't have them anymore. “I've had similar dreams with you present, but they're usually fuzzy, and when I try to remember them they slip through my fingers.” He rambled, awwwww you dream about me often? “This one felt so…” He lightly brushed his lips with the tips of his fingers. “Tangible. At least compared to the others that is. The amount of which is embarrassing.” His face flushed at the thought. As I've said before, he's like a lost puppy. I just so happened to be the unlucky stranger to feed him  and you know what they say about strays.

He's picked up and turned around, a fully dressed Pure Vanilla behind the cause. “I don’t have much to get done today other than watering the flowers, I hope you won’t mind joining me.” He set Shadow Milk on his head, blinding him with the brightness of his hat. You couldn’t have picked something easier on the eyes? He was quickly distracted by the chatter in the hallways.

“Have you heard about Oatmeal Cookie?” A loud voice whispered, not very well might he add, isn’t that the one from Pure Vanillia’s little raisin village?

“No, what about her?” A lower voice responded, actually keeping their voice down unlike the other.

“I heard her little girlfriend broke up with her. It’s tragic, I went to the Crow’s Nest the other day and her food just tasted…sad.” The first lamented dramatically. That’s their main priority? Hm. Maybe Oatmeal Cookie should talk to whats her face, Pancake Syrup? Cone? Pastry? No, Wafflecone Cookie? Doesn’t matter. They should start a hate club for toxic exes.

“Oh, how sad! I thought they were destined to be…they seemed so happy together…why I ou-” The rest was cut off my Pure Vanilla walking away. Curse you!

“I…hadn’t heard about that before. Maybe we should check in on Oatmeal Cookie after we water the flowers, hm?” We? “I do hope they aren’t too down in the dumps…I know they truly cared for their partner with all their heart.” Grass crunched under foot as they entered the gardens, bringing back the memory of the night prior. Why did I decide to do that? Thinking back on everything I did and said is making me ill. Even he isn’t immune to secondhand embarrassment, even if it’s from himself. He hated that he even indulged in dream sharing in the first place!

“Good morning lovelies, I hope you didn’t get too hungry overnight!” He practically sang to the flowers as he grabbed his watering can. And then he did sing, well, hummed, but still! He reminded Shadow Milk of a fairytale princess at times, talking to animals and flowers. Either that or an insane person, but potato tomato.

“I do wish I had a patch of daffodils…” He let out a sigh, slumping his shoulders. “And Milkcrowns, they were so vibrant in my dream. I only wish they could survive out here, but alas.” Too much sun decimated the fragile flowers, wilting them into ashes more often than not. (Much like a certain jester.)

“I wonder if the daffodils will still be here in my next dream…I hope so.” Pure Vanilla went quiet as he watered the rest of the flowers diligently.

The sloshing of water sliced into the silence, “Done! It should rain tomorrow, so I won’t need to come water you. I’ll miss you all, though, do take care.” Yeah no he’s definitely on the crazy end.

His steps didn’t return to tile for awhile. Shadow Milk idly wondered where they were going, but decided to leave it up to fate. He'd figure it out when they arrived. If I hear Clotted Cream Cookie's annoying voice I'm booking it. Not that he could, but the point still stands.

After what felt like hours, a key was loudly slotted into a lock. He entered, his footsteps revealing…wood? It smelled of bread, the forest, and juice. The Crow’s Nest. Right. He wanted to check up on that Oatmeal Cookie,  didnt he? Ever the bleeding heart. It was quiet, likely due to Pure Vanilla breaking and entering at such an early hour.

“Oatmeal Cookie? Are you in here?” The bugler called out. A sniffle sounded from the kitchen area.

“Y-yeah. What do you need?” Wow. They really took that breakup hard. Their voice was thick with tears that likely also covered their face.

“I heard about…what happened. Can I come in?” He took a few hesitant steps towards the kitchen as the words left his mouth. Eager, are we?

“That's fine, just-just give me a minute!” They called out. Pure Vanilla didn’t advance any further. They ran some soda, likely cold based on the sound of it hitting the basin. Shadow Milk felt like he was intruding already, and the conversation hadn't even begun.

He was alerted of Oatmeal Cookie's arrival by Pure Vanilla's jolt, and subsequent rush to their side.

“Oh dear, you look exhausted. Come sit, come sit.” He pulled out a chair for them, only getting his own once they were seated. “You don't have to tell me anything, but I'm here if you want to.” He was so unbearably kind it made Shadow Milk's gut twist into a knot.

“I…” A sniffle. “I wouldn't want to burden you.” You couldn't get Pure Vanilla to consider you a burden if you tried. Trust me. I've tried.

“Don't worry about that, you are my friend .” Shadow Milk felt nauseous at the word on his tounge. “I know how much you cared for her, so if I can lift even a little of the weight upon your shoulders I will.”

“Well…if you're certain. She ended it because I'm too. Too feminine .” Yeesh, maybe we should end her for being too much of a bit-

“What?” He sounded so offended on their behalf. “If she thought that then why would she even date you in the first place? It doesn't matter how feminine you dress or look, what matters is what's in here.” He put a hand to his chest. “Don't take her words to heart. You can dress however you please.”

Shadow Milk was jostled by Oatmeal Cookie tackling Pure Vanilla into a hug. “Thank you. I-...I really needed to hear that.” They sniffled. She didn't deserve to get the time of day. You should totally go on a revenge arc and crumble her! Just make sure to confess everything to Pure Vanilla afterwards, spare no details.

“Of course, I will always be here for you because you have always been there for me. If it weren't for you watching me like a hawk in the village, I wouldn't have eaten much at all.” Right, when I popped in to spy they were more often than not nagging him about sharing his rations and making him more food. I'm glad, only because it wouldn't be any fun if he starved to death! It would simply be too easy a defeat. 

“It was just my job, I got onto Black Raisin for sharing rations too.” Ha! So she's a hypocrite!

“Yes, but you didn't have to. Your job was to put the rations together, not monitor everyone to make sure they actually ate said rations.” Clock them Pure Vanilla! He thought before immediately feeling regret. Ew ew ew ew I did NOT just root for Pure Vanilla Cookie. Gross!

“Not the point. But…thank you. I think I'm good to open soon, do you want a raisin bun for the road?” They were obviously only asking out of formality, he would be leaving with a freshly baked raisin bun whether he liked it or not.

“I don't have much of a choice, do I?” He slumped, defeated.

“Nope. I'll be back in a minute, don't you dare try to leave!” They shouted back as they entered the kitchen. Put him in his place!

“Phew, I'm glad they're back to their normal self. Apologies if we bored you, Shadow Milk.” He could feel the staff's gaze burn through the hat. “I would ask for a second raisin bun if you had a mouth.” He giggled into his hand . Stupidly considerate cookie! With stupidly gorgeous hair! Shut up! …maybe Shadow Milk was catching the crazy, at this point he didn't want to think about it.

“Here you go, Pure Vanilla Cookie. On the house.” The bag crinkled as he took it. “Don't even think about giving this to anyone else! This was made especially for you and it would be quite rude to pass it off.” Gaslighting him into self care, hm, I respect the hustle. “You look well rested, though, so I won't make you eat it in front of me. I trust you, for now atleast.”

“Ah, I appreciate it. I did sleep quite soundly last night, but I suppose you noticing means I looked un rested before. Thank you nonetheless.” He stood up from his chair, the legs scraping against the hardwood floor as he pushed it back in. “I'll be sure to visit, and you are well aware that you are always welcome in my castle.”

“Thank you, I truly appreciate you coming to check in on me, witches know I needed it.” They hugged before Pure Vanilla departed, staff in one hand and bag in the other.

“I suppose it's high time we get back home, hm? It's quite late.” He mumbled to, what onlookers would assume, himself. Shadow Milk knew he was talking to him, though. 

This is unbelievablely boring. He thought too himself as Pure Vanilla silently walked back to the castle. Once I get more of my magic back, I'm going to go out on the town! Just you wait! It had been quite some time since he let out Milkcrown Cookie…or maybe Condensed Milk Cookie? Or the shepherd boy, Dark Blueberry Cookie. He had endless options!

Finally, FINALLY, they arrived home. Gee that walk was exhausting, and I didn't even lift a finger! In his defense, exhaustion by proxy was a thing! Probably!

“Home sweet home.” Phre Vanilla slouched as soon as the door was closed behind him. “I hope that Oatmeal Cookie finds someone that deserves their attention.” He removed Shadow Milk from his hat, holding the doll in front of him.

“I hate to admit, but I never liked their partner anyway. She was always…off.” Oooo! Drama! You should totally consider my hate club idea. “All the raisin village is like my family, so I ought to give her a peice of my mind! But alas, I don't know where she resides.” Don't give up! Only because I want to see you beat her up. She probably deserves it if even goody two shoes over here doesn't like her!

He gently leaned Shadow Milk against the vase, facing the bed instead of the usual wall. “I say we decompress a bit,” he dug under the bed with his tounge sticking out in concentration. “aha! Got it!” He pulled out what looked like a briefcase, it was worn and tattered but clearly loved. It was also partially covered in stickers, clearly gifted based on the disparity between them.

He tossed it onto the bed, making it creak under the weight. “I usually only break this old thing out when they kids visit, but I think today is as good a time as any.” He popped the lid open, revealing…nail polish? I knew it! He does gossip and paint his nails!

“Strawberry Cookie likes to gift me new colors whenever she's around, I don't have the heart to tell her I prefer blues.” The case was filled with a rainbow of colors, but had a larger variety of pinks and greens. She certainly had her biases… not enough red and purple either! Yeesh. He takes out two shades of blue, one darker and the other more of a bright cyan. “I don't wear polish more often simply because I, admittedly, can't keep myself from peeling it off.” He laughed sheepishly.

He positioned himself in a way that his staff was aimed at his nails so he could tell what he was doing and not make a mess. “Its also a hassle to do by myself.” I can imagine. I don't paint mine because the polish is so finicky. It gets EVERYwhere.

“But I'm sure you'd get bored just watching me paint my nails.” He huffed out a laugh. “So, if you would lend me an ear I'll tell you about the servants gossip like I promised.”

Chapter Text

Well now you’re speaking my language… Shadow Milk Cookie thought as he was forced to stare back at Pure Vanilla Cookie’s ugly mug. It wasn’t all that bad of a view, if only because he looked stupid with his tongue sticking out in concentration. “So, we should probably start with the rumor I’ve heard the most about. That Wafflecone’s husband cheated on her with Pancake Syrup Cookie, her twin sister. Which simply isn’t true in the slightest!” Starting out with some scalding tea, Vanilly! “In actuality, she was married off against her will, and her husband was in love with Pancake Syrup Cookie before he even met Wafflecone Cookie!”

The rabbit hole just gets deeper and deeper. What next, you’ll tell me she doesn’t even like the guy? “As far as I know, the only reason her parents married her off instead of Pancake Syrup Cookie was because she never showed a liking to men…I supposed they feared she’d go off and marry a woman.” I CALLED IT! But we should totally go maul her parents, they sound insufferable. “The man, I believe his name is Whipped Cream Cookie? I’m unsure, but either way he agreed to a lavender marriage so Wafflecone’s family would get off her back.” Pure Vanilla grabbed the darker shade of blue for the next nail, blowing slightly on his now cyan pointer finger. “Pancake Syrup Cookie obviously wasn’t happy, only because she hates that her poor sister has to deal with all this in the first place. I’ve met her before once and she’s very passionate about these kinds of things! Wafflecone Cookie is far more…awkward? She’s very nice once you get to know her, but by first impressions she comes off as aloof.” He’s quite the rambler, not that I mind. I get to listen to his voice- HIS INFORMATION. Information. Shadow Milk needed to pull himself together! Pure Vanilla’s insanity was becoming contagious. Next thing ya know he’ll be talking to his sheep-wolves and milkcrowns. Gross.

“I’ve also seen Wafflecone Cookie often frequent the Crow’s Nest. I’ve heard that she always asks for things Oatmeal likes to bake, like their specially made raisin buns!” Pleasepleaseplease let me play matchmaker, I won’t break any hearts this time, promise! “I do hope that she eventually talks to them, though, just frequenting their workplace isn’t exactly the best way to make a friend…” Hey, have you heard of this thing called romance. Nuance. Wooing. Any of these ring a bell?

“I’m sure they’ll be the best of friends eventually, as long as Wafflecone Cookie doesn’t give up!” Historians will call them close friends. “If she breaks Oatmeal’s trust, though, I’m afraid I’ll have to give her a thorough talking to.” You’re literally describing the shovel talk. Are you just homophobic or something??? This is an absurd level of oblivion, even for you.

“Oh, speaking of Oatmeal Cookie!” I hope you know you sound like the annoying parents that bring out their wallet full of baby photos right now. “They’re actually an only child, which wasn’t very surprising since not many wanted to have more mouths to feed…but I always viewed them like a little sibling. No matter how much they tried to baby me like I was the younger one, haha! The entire village was close knit, really.” Pure Vanilla had half of his first hand finished, only taking so long since he decided to start by painting with his non-dominant hand. His smile at the thought of his friends, no, his family, was warm. It was genuine, so genuine that Shadow Milk wanted to rip it off of his face and throw it out the window. Not his most eloquent analogy, but cut him some slack. It’s hard to think of original metaphors without his minions to bounce ideas off of! I wonder how Candy Apple and Black Sapphire are doing right about now…no, they’re fine. Don’t worry about them, you’ve left before and they were just fine alone.

“Don’t tell them I said that, though, they’d get defensive.” He pointed at Shadow Milk with a slight furrow of the brow, indicating an attempt at a glare. “They aren’t the most…” His eyebrows tilt downwards. “Forthcoming. With their emotions. I often feel like I’m talking to a wall. An angry wall, but a wall nonetheless.” Pure Vanilla’s gaze returned to him. “Kind of like you, really.” Not the worst comparison, Oatmeal Cookie seems like they’d be a great minion! The other two would probably love them. He really needed to stop thinking about those two idiots. They were fine . They could survive without him for a week or so.

“It doesn’t help that they try to bear the weight of the world on their shoulders, they treat every problem like it’s their own.” Sounds like someone I know. Wonder who. “This gossip session really just turned into a therapy session, didn’t it? I apologize for venting at you, Shadow Milk.” Don’t shut down now, keep yapping! He really needed to stop hyping him up, even if mentally. Not because I enjoy listening to you rant about your little friends or whatever, I’m just nosey. 

“Moving on, I suppose the other most prevalent piece of gossip right about now is that there’s a ghost. I personally don’t believe it, but I’ve heard the servants say they feel as if they’re being watched.” Okay that might just be me. I’m not sorry though! “I understand the feeling intimately, what with the spire being made up of eyes anywhere you looked. It might have been unsettling to most, but…it felt strangely reassuring. Like being wrapped in a blanket. You know?” No I don’t know, actually. Please never speak on anything ever again.

“Ah!” He sat up a bit straighter as he remembered somethin. “A rumor I heard a while ago was that I had a daughter! Which is obviously untrue, but it was quite amusing to hear, even if false.” …I’m more surprised there weren't any rumors of you liking men. “Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m fairly certain there was a rumor going around that I was fond of men, too.” Hah! Called it! Say no more, for I shall bask in my glory! 

“Is it really a rumor if it’s correct, though? I don't particularly mind gender, as long as their heart is in the right place.” He mumbled, but Shadow Milk didn’t hear him, far too caught up in his internal celebration. He was only brought out of it by the clinking of glass as Pure Vanilla switched colors once more to paint his other hand. “I don’t remember any other rumors of note, all the rest are simply baseless. Like the one that Wafflecone Cookie and Oatmeal are planning to elope, which is obviously untrue! Oatmeal only just got broken up with, plus they’re simply acquaintances. I’m not even sure they’ve spoken before!” While untrue, not quite as baseless as you assume. “There’s also a strange rumor I overheard in the Faerie Kingdom that White Lily and Elder Faerie Cookie are related, which definitely made me turn my head! I mean, I'd be very concerned if they shared blood.” That might've been Black Sapphire's doing, whoops! I'm surprised anyone believed it. I mean, have they seen the way they looked at eachother? Gross! All ooey gooey and mushy. I'd rather be confined to this blasted kingdom for the rest of my days than bear witness to THAT again.

“Speaking of the faeries, Silverbell Cookie frequently sends letters to me since ‘a friend of White Lily's is a friend of mine.’ That's not the interesting bit, though. The interesting part is that I'm fairly certain he's got a little crush! Oh, how I wish I could give him love advice in person.” You wouldn't know true love if you hit it in the face. “He's always going on about a new faerie in the kingdom, his name was something like Grapevine Cookie? Either way it's nice to see him making new friends.” …his name is what now.

“But I'm getting ahead of myself, this is supposed to be a gossip session about the Vanilla Kingdom not the Faerie Kingdom.” He said as he painted his last nail a deep blue. He lightly shook his hands out, stretching them to the best of his ability without getting polish everywhere. “They turned out so cute! I hope I don't pick at them this time, aha.” I'm surprised you didn't do vomit yellow.

He blew lightly on his nails to coax them into drying faster. “Next time the children visit I'll be sure to ask for these two colors again.” They did look nice, every other nail was a deep blue while the rest were a bright cyan.

Maybe his staff is yellow blue colorblind and that's why the nail polish is blue and not his usual yellow. Yeah, that's it! Nothing weird or strange going on. What he failed to take into consideration was that if the staff really was colorblind, then he'd still use yellow, because the nail polish would be blue in his eyes, and so would his robes and castle. Also, he wasn't even quite sure yellow blue colorblind was a thing!

“Nice and dry.” Pure Vanilla smiled at his handiwork, it was surprisingly even. “I'm glad I have practice from painting Oatmeal's nails, even though they never turned out right they still came back every week.” That's disgustingly sweet. Ew. “I should invite them over some time to show them how much I've improved! Hm. Do I have any black or purple in here…?”

He picked up his staff and pointed it at his briefcase of polish. He plucked out a dark purple to inspect closely. “This should be sufficient. Maybe we could even invite Black Raisin!” He carefully put the bottle back where he found it and closed the case with a loud click!

He held his nails in front of his staff and giggled, kicking his feet off the side of the bed like a lovesick idiot. What is he giggling about it's NAIL POLISH. He's becoming senile, doctor, take him away! He sighed dreamily. “I wish I could paint your nails too, Shadow Milk. Maybe you'd like a nice blue? No, black? I'll have to ask.” As if I'd want my nails painted by you! You'd tell me to close my eyes and I'd open them to yellow all over my hands!!!

“Anyways, I suppose our gossip session is coming to an end.” His staff's eye glanced over to Shadow Milk. “Hm. I hope I can do this with the real you one day.” He let out a breath and stood up, sliding the nail polish case back under the bed. “Maybe in my dreams, haha…ha.” Well that got depressing fast. I thought yellow was supposed to make cookies happy, he's surrounded by it! But then again, his nails are a somber blue. Maybe it's their fault. They taint everything they touch, it was inevitable. They used to bring joy but now they only bring misery, the milkcrowns I'm leaning on are evidence of that. (He wasn't talking about the nail polish anymore, was he?)

Pure Vanilla sat back down on the edge of the bed with a huff. “Phew, I'm getting too old for all this.” He still smiled at Shadow Milk as he spoke. “I'm sure you'd agree with that sentiment, wouldn't you?” Stop smiling at me like I'm deserving of such kindness, I bite the hand that feeds me ya know! So back off! He wanted to glare, to claw and bite, thrash and squirm. He wanted to do anything but sit there, motionless on the bedside table. He wanted to get up and strangle the other, but he'd prefer even a confining hug over his current predicament.

No, I wouldn't! I'm just spouting nonsense, being trapped in this form for so long is making me stir crazy. He rationalized, only being pulled out of his spiral when Pure Vanilla gently picked him up. “I'm sorry I'm not the most interesting cookie to be stuck with. If you were really here you'd be talking my ear off about how inhospitable my castle is. ‘It's too bright, maybe add some blues you old fool! Not everything needs to burn my eyes.’” He mimicked Shadow Milk's tone. I don't sound like that! But you really should add more blues, not everything needs to melt my retina.

His staff glanced over at his desk, iris lingering on the stack of blank paper. “Hm. Do you feel like playing matchmaker?? He smirked, smirked at Shadow Milk. Is that even a question? Obviously! But please never make that face again. It's uncanny.

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla sat in his creaky chair and set Shadow Milk gently to the side before grabbing a blank sheet of paper. “Alright, since I can't give Silverbell advice in person I'll simply send him a letter! I haven't had the chance to write him in a while anyway.” He angled his staff to see both the paper and Shadow Milk. I'm not gonna stand up and run away! Wish I could, though.

“‘Dear Silverbell Cookie,’” Too formal already, you're pen pals! Drop the ‘cookie’ already. “‘I hope this letter finds you well. I've been thinking about how often you speak of Grapevine Cookie, and wanted to give you a bit of advice!’ Hm. Does that sound too forward?” His staff squinted at the page, rereading it a few times. It's literally fine. Not the subject matter though, Black Sapphire Cookie needs to stay away from those heartbreaker faeries! Hopefully he's playing Silverbell Cookie and not the other way around.

“I'm sure he knows my intentions aren't to impede. ‘It would seem to me you have a little crush on your dear friend, but that is only from my outsider's perspective. A word of advice, don't wait too long to tell him your true feelings lest he think you only see him as a friend.’” Speaking from experience, are we? Wonder who… oh oh don't tell me! White Lily Cookie? Or perhaps Black Raisin Cookie? Hm, who else do you even know?

“‘I wish you the best in your romantic endeavors, if you need any advice at all feel free to ask! I hope to hear back from you soon. Yours truly, Pure Vanilla Cookie.’” He read over the letter again with his staff, it glanced over to Shadow Milk. “Do I sound too uptight?” Oh absolutely. I mean, who says ‘yours truly’ anymore? People are going to start calling you crumbly!

“I'm sure it's fine, Silverbell hasn't minded my formalities so far.” He folded the letter and slipped it into a yellow envelope before sealing it with wax. “I'll have to go to the messenger. Beast Yeast is far too long a fly for a carrier bird to deliver.” Duh, do I look stupid? “I apologize but I'll have to leave you here…I'm sure you'd like some time to yourself anyways, wouldn't you?” Dread pooled in his gut. No, it's fine. Some time away from you will be amazing! Refreshing! Absolutely fantastic! Who was he trying to fool at this point? He didn't want to be alone, it was fine when he left for the sheep because he was angry at him anyway. He needed that time alone. Now, though? He didn't want it.

“I'll lock the door from the inside, I'm the only one with a key so you'll be okay.” Pure Vanilla picked the doll up and tucked him into bed. “There, save and sound.” Ugh. Just shut up and leave me alone! “I should get going if I want this letter to reach him in a timely manner…” He stood in the doorway for a second longer than necessary before returning to the side of the bed to gently pat Shadow Milk's head. “Sleep tight, bluebird.” His robes swished behind him as he left. Hey so what did you mean by that actually. 

The silence was heavy on his plush shoulders. The only sound was the wind outside and a few birds chirping, but it wasn't comforting in the slightest. There's got to be something I can do, right? He was struck with an idea. Wait, what if I used a disguise? They take less energy than my true form, I should have enough magic to maintain a smaller body! Hm, Milkcrown Cookie is usually my go to for causing chaos, but I fear she's too tall…the smallest cookie form I have is Dark Blueberry Cookie, the little shepherd. He'll do just fine for my plans!

He felt giddy, he was going to have a voice in the REAL world. Not some dream land that Pure Vanilla conquered up in his head. He immediately began to use his magic, feeling its chill spread through him. He always hated that part, it chased away any warmth left in his dough. A bright light blinded him.

“ Crumbs! ” He swore, rubbing his eyes before realization sunk in. “I-I did it! Not that I ever doubted myself of course, aha!” His voice was high in pitch which caught him off guard, though. Very…squeaky. He scrambled out of the bed leaving the covers for his future self to straighten. “I could go through the window, we aren't… that high up, right?” He waddled over unsteadily on his new legs and peered out the window. “Okay. That's…three stories. Sure. That's fine. Just…float a bit. Surely you've got the magic for that!” He reassured himself, nodding.

He opened the window with more difficulty than he'd like to admit, the breeze felt refreshing on his face. “Oh how I've missed you mother nature.” He took a deep breath before cautiously throwing a leg over the side of the ledge. “Don't look down.” He told himself over and over like a mantra as he swung his other leg over. He focused his magic and imagined he was as light as a balloon before pushing himself off.

I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die and I haven't even sorted out my feelings I’m gonna die and he won't even know I was the doll. The string of thoughts assaulted him as the wind rushed past his ears, he held his hood tight to keep covering his head. Suddenly, he wasn't falling anymore. He peeled open one eye, not remembering when he closed them, only to see he hadn't turned into a pancake. “Aha…ahahahaha!” He laughed uncontrollably, wheezing. “I'm alive! ” He looked down, he had barely stopped himself from hitting the grassy ground beneath him. Instead of thinking about how close he was to actually dying, he slowly descended. “You need to be more careful, you got too cocky because you're stir crazy.” He mumbled to himself. He probably should've at least tested that he could float before jumping out the window, but if he had gone splat, at least Pure Vanilla would be traumatized. (He didn't mean that, not really.)

He brushed himself off and looked around, he was surrounded by greenery. Shrubs, small herb patches, scattered flowers, you name it. The obscene amount of green made the vanilla gateway stand out harshly. He trotted over, legs feeling like jelly, and peeked out. Closest to him was the sheep's pasture, but squinting he could see the town. He grinned to himself, this plan was going swimmingly! Nothing could get in the way of- “ Witches! ” He cursed as his cloak was caught on something, he snapped his head back to see the perpetrator only to be met with…a cream sheep?

“Hey…uh. Can I have my cloak back? Please?” He softened his voice slightly, animals liked that, right?

“Baaaaa” The sheep protested, tugging him closer to the fence.

“Hey- no! Let me go!” He grabbed the end of his cloak and tried tugging it out of the beast's reach to no avail. “My whole outfit will be ruined if you don't give it back!” He glared as hard as he could muster in such a small body, which had no effect on the sheep. “Ugh! What do you want anyway you little rascal?” He gave in and walked up next to the fence, he would’ve just taken the cloak off but then he’d have to get a new one. He needed a cloak okay!

The sheep, still holding onto his cloak, began to inch backwards. “Wha- are you trying to pull me into the pen?” He asked, befuddlement clear in his expression. “Why would you want me in your home? Unless you think I’m an easy snack, which if that’s the case you’ll be sorely disappointed!” He huffed and hopped the fence, wincing as his feet hit the ground on the other side. “This puny body isn't made for all of this! Eugh, I wish I had enough energy to just float continuously.” The sheep only released him after dragging him into the heart of the pasture, where he was surrounded by other sheep.

“Is this your plan of attack? Let the others do the hard work in mauling me?” He deadpanned, leveling the sheep with an unimpressed look. It only let out a pleased bleat in response. “Eugh. Well, this wasn't my plan for today in the slightest. I'm supposed to be matchmaking, not actually shepherding! Gross, I feel more and more like Pure Vanilla.” Speaking of, these were his sheep. They probably had names since he was so unbearably attached to them.

“You, yeah, smug one, get over here.” He made a beckoning motion to the sheep that dragged him into this mess in the first place. It trotted over without a care in the world. “Let me see here…” He felt around its neck and felt something. He followed it to the end to see a shiny name plate. “Aha! My intuition is right as always. No need to applaud, for you have no means to do so.” He glanced briefly at their hooved feet. He leaned in to read the name, “‘Berry?’ Weird. I thought all of you would have stupid names.” He huffed. “Either way, you sir are a little menace! I'm almost proud in a way, if only your name had more blue.” He was taken by surprise as another sheep butted his hand, no, his arm really. He forgot how short this form was.

“You sure are eager. Don't you know to fear strange faces in your home?” He grabbed its name tag with one hand while scratching behind its ear with the other. “‘Cotton.’ This is more in line with the names I expected.” Cotton headbutted him again, harsher this time as if to show its displeasure. “I'm not sorry for making fun of that fool's naming skills, but I do feel pity for you. I mean, if I were a tamed beast I'd be pretty ticked off if I was saddled with such a cutesy name!” The sheep did not reply, perhaps he had satiated its anger.

“I would really like to leave, though. If you do not release me I'll scream super loud and I’m sure someone will come running to release me from your clench!” The sheep did not move to free him, and when he tried to leave Cotton headbutted him in the back of the knee, knocking him to the grassy ground. “Ow.” He said into the grass, an ache spreading through his body. You're so weak one of these pitiful beasts could kill you here and now and you'd have it coming.

“Oh dear!” A sickeningly familiar voice exclaimed. “Are you quite alright, young man?” Kill me now, witches, I'm ready to go!

“I'm alright mister!” He cheerfully replied as he forced himself to stand despite the pain it caused. “Your sheep just don't want me to leave, aha. But I'm okay!” He grinned childishly.

“Ah…I see. Are you perhaps a shepard as well?” Pure Vanilla asked as he opened the gate, sending a look at his sheep so they'd leave Shadow Milk alone.

“Yes sir!” I need to make an excuse to leave. “I was just heading into town when Berry grabbed my cloak, he seems very friendly!”

“Oh? Usually Berry isn't very sociable. Maybe you're a special case.” He smiled warmly and held out his hand. “I'm going into town as well if you'd like to accompany me. You shouldn't be running around by yourself.” Think Shadow Milk think!

“Dark Blueberry Cookie!” A voice shouted, they both glanced over to see a woman. Oh thank the witches. My illusion magic still works! “There you are! Oh I was so worried about you!” The illusion of Milkcrown Cookie checked him over. “Ah, apologies for his antics, your majesty.” She bowed slightly to Pure Vanilla.

“There's no need to apologize ma'am! Is he your…?” He trailed off.

“Brother. I get mistaken for his mother more often than you'd think.” She grabbed Shadow Milk's hand. “We should really get going, but thank you for finding him!” She called out over her shoulder as she dragged her ‘brother' behind her.

“Bye Mister!” Shadow Milk waved, it would be suspicious to not say goodbye!

“Ah, goodbye! Be careful not to lose each other again!” He called back. As soon as he was out of sight the illusion of Milkcrown Cookie dissipated.

“Phew, that was close. I thought he would've been gone already. I didn't account for him being a slow walker.” He groaned, huffing out a breath he didnt know he was holding. He had no idea that he'd even have enough magic stored to make an illusion, so that move was certainly a gamble. If he had enough power for that…would he have enough for a larger disguise?

“Doesn't hurt to try, does it?” He closed his eyes and focused on the magic flowing through his veins, it was stronger than he anticipated. Milkcrown Cookie would be a breeze to maintain! Cold enveloped him, and when he opened his eyes the world looked smaller.

“I knew it would work!” Milkcrown's voice was nicer than the pipsqueak's, smooth and pleasant. “Now to snoop on the love birds…ahaha!” She laughed to herself before clearing her throat, bringing a fan to cover the lower half of her face. “Such a loud laugh is unbefitting of a lady, pull yourself together.” She sighed, heels going from grass to road with a click. “Stay in character, Milkcrown. Today you're a matchmaker.” A smile spread across her face, Oatmeal and Wafflecone Cookie wouldn't see what hit them!

Chapter Text

The town was bright and clean, sickeningly so. It felt like an unused dollhouse, which almost made Shadow Milk Cookie feel at home! Keyword being almost.

His heels clicked against the tiled road as he made his way to the Crow's Nest. He knew for sure that Oatmeal Cookie should be there, he had no idea about Wafflecone Cookie though. Hopefully she's somewhere around, from what Pure Vanilla said there's a high likelihood she's in there too. He didn't like that he was betting this plan on Pure Vanillas words, but he didn't exactly have another option.

Get into character! Milkcrown Cookie told herself as she spotted the very building she was looking for. Her fan lowered slightly, an attempt to look more inviting, as she opened the door.

She was caught off guard by how empty it was. Sure it was still a bit early, but it should have more than three cookies! Wait, three? She glanced over their faces before locking onto a woman. She had the signature vanillian blonde hair and blue eyes, with a waffle cone patterned dress. She would've looked regal if not for her awkward demeanor. Bingo. She walked up to her table, a booth seat in the corner. The woman looked up at her approach.

“Pardon me, but you seem to be…lost in thought? I know it's none of my business, but it seems to be troubling you.” Her voice came out just as practiced, well intentioned and kind.

“Oh! I didn't know it was so obvious…you can sit down if you'd like.” Wafflecone Cookie gestured to the seat across from her, nervous energy palpable in the air. “My name is Wafflecone Cookie, and you are?”

“My sincerest apologies,” she sat down, “it seems I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Milkcrown Cookie.” She smiled sheepishly. “I'm new around here, so I always seem to forget something or another!”

Wafflecone Cookie laughed into her hand. “I know how it feels, I've lived here my whole life and yet I feel like an outsider.” That's incredibly depressing but unfortunately, I'm not a licensed therapist.

“Is that what's on your mind?” She asked quietly, soothingly. Like the other was a stray she didn't want to scare off.

“Ah! No, not really. It's actually quite embarrassing, really.” Her face turned a shade darker as she scratched her head.

“I'm sure it's nothing too bad, do tell.” She leaned her elbows on the table and rested her head in her hands. If this isn't about Oatmeal Cookie I'm making an excuse to leave.

“There's this cookie…” Jackpot. “They're so cool and way out of my league, but I really like them! They actually work here, I try to order all the things I've heard they enjoy baking.” She gushed, eyes twinkling.

“Oatmeal Cookie?” Milkcrown whispered, the other nodded. “Well, from what I've heard you need to be direct with them. I'd start out by befriending them, and if you still want to ask them out then you do it!” She clapped her hands together, oh this is so fun! I really need to get out more.

“You really think that'd work? But how should I approach them…” Wafflecone fiddled with her hair. “I don't want to come on too strong…”

“A word of advice, you miss all the shots you don’t take. Next time you see them, strike up a conversation! Compliment their baking, or even their hair! Just be nice.” Flattery gets you everywhere my dear pupil!

“Yeah, you're right. I need to stop cowering away from them if I want to befriend them for real!” Eh, for real?

“Wafflecone.” Shadow Milk almost jumped out of his skin. He pulled himself together and looked over. Oatmeal Cookie stood there, holding a tray of raisin buns. “...your order.” They placed the tray in front of her before turning to Milkcrown. “I don't believe we've met.”

“Ah, Oatmeal! This is Milkcrown Cookie. She's new in the kingdom, we were just chatting!” Wafflecone smiled at them. Milkcrown was under the impression that they had never spoken based on how Wafflecone Cookie talked, but they were obviously at least friendly! They called each other by their names only! She obviously underestimates how fond Oatmeal Cookie is of her, look at their face! Ugh, it sickens me how oblivious they are!

Oatmeal bowed their head. “Pleasure to meet you.” A cookie of few words, reminds me of Silent Salt. They were much more talkative to Pure Vanilla, likely due to his comforting presence. You're Milkcrown Cookie right now, this line of thinking is not in character!

“The pleasure is all mine.” Her lips tugged upwards into a smile. “I've heard a bit about you from our friend Wafflecone Cookie here, so I'm happy to meet face to face. I love your hair by the way!” 

“Thank you, but yours is much prettier.” They smiled slightly, progress!  

“Nonsense! I didn't even brush it this morning.” Milkcrown waved them off. The ding of the door bell interrupted their conversation. She glanced over only to be met with a face she could describe on memory alone.

“Ah, apologies, am I interrupting something?” Pure Vanilla stood awkwardly to the side, his staff's eye looking anywhere but them.

“No, don't worry about it. Wafflecone was just introducing me to her friend.” Oatmeal reassured the anxious man with a pat on the shoulder. Recognition flooded his expression as he looked at Milkcrown.

“Oh! I remember you, did you get your brother home safely?” He seemed more at ease after looking into her eyes.

“I appreciate the concern, he's safe with our older brother now. Nothing could get through that man.” She laughed into her fan at the made up scenario. It was easy for her to remember since this was the usual relationship between these disguises, younger brother, middle sister, and older brother all moving to a new place. The older brother was obviously Condensed Milk Cookie, a burly ex-sailor with a soft heart!

“Well for that I'm glad. Do let the little lad know the sheep love him, he's always welcome to visit as long as there's someone else with him.” He smiled so brightly she was almost blinded by it.

“As a thanks for keeping him safe I can…pay for your meal? I don't want to even think about what would have happened if you weren't there!” I don't want to be in his debt. Even though he didn't do anything for me he thinks he has, and therefore feels entitled to repayment.

“There's no need for all of that, how about we all have a meal together, on me!” His staff looked at her and the other two cookies. Oatmeal shrugged.

“It's on the house, you paid me too much last time anyway.” They turned towards the kitchen. “Raisin buns alright?” After hearing an affirmative from all three cookies they left.

“They're certainly the serious type.” Milkcrown mumbled. “But I can tell their heart is in the right place.”

“Oatmeal is much too kind for their own good.” Pure Vanilla huffed fondly before sitting next to Milkcrown. Don't think too hard about it. He simply wants to let the two lovebirds sit together!

“I know, right? They're always giving but never getting if you know what I mean.” Wafflecone piped up from across the table. “They're just so…unbearably kind to everyone! Even people who don't deserve it.” Sounds like a certain someone…

“I'm afraid they get it from me unfortunately…” Pure Vanilla scratched the back of his neck. “At least they have us to keep them on track, right?”

“Yeah, you're right your majesty.” She bowed her head slightly.

“Oh you can drop the formalities! Pure Vanilla Cookie is fine. A friend of Oatmeal is a friend of mine.” Pretty sure they're more than friends but sure. A plate of steaming raisin buns was set in the middle of the table announcing said cookie's return. They walk almost as silently as my minions. I’m so proud I could shed a tear!

“...since there aren't any more customers to serve, could I join you?” They murmured, fiddling with the hem of their apron.

“Of course, dear. I'd be grateful to share a meal with you.” Milkcrown smiled comfortingly. “I'm sure your friends wouldn't mind either.” She glanced at the other two as they nodded, Wafflecone patting the spot next to her.

“Come on, we couldn't possibly finish all this by ourselves! Plus we enjoy your company…at least I know I do.” Her face turned redder. Ah, young love! Sickeningly sweet. Oatmeal slid in next to her reluctantly.

“If you are all so sure then I won't deny you.” They looked down at the table. “I hope you all enjoy.” They took a raisin bun for themselves. Wafflecone already had two in front of her, so Milkcrown took one as well. She immediately noticed that Pure Vanilla hadn't grabbed one even though the other two were already eating.

She sighed internally before making up her mind. She elbowed him harder than necessary under the table while the lovebirds were distracted with each other. He winced and his staff squinted at her as if asking ‘ what was that for? ’ “If Oatmeal Cookie notices you aren't eating you’ll have more than a sore arm to show for it.” She whispered under her breath.

“I had a large breakfast, I'll be alright.” He responded equally as quiet. Does he think I'm stupid?

“We both know that's a lie, your staff's eye is refusing to look at me.” He winced, caught in his fib. She smirked to herself at the victory.

“Ah, it seems you have me all figured out.” He chuckles as he grabs a raisin bun, only then did Milkcrown begin to eat her own. It was still warm from the oven, soft and delicious. Even without the raisins melting in his mouth it was the best food Shadow Milk had had in a long time. The only food he'd had in a long time. He didn't need food or water, not one crumb or drop, but it felt nice to indulge every now and then.

“The rumors are right, this is the best raisin bun I've ever had!” Milkcrown hummed as she got back into character and took another bite. Oatmeal squinted as she started on her second.

“Do you…want more? You must be hungry from traveling here.” They offered, a furrow in their brow. “Or just for your brothers, either way.”

“Sorry, I didn't mean to gorge myself aha! It's just been a while since I've had anything so rich in flavor.” She bashfully admitted, not glancing over to see the concerned expression of Pure Vanilla.

“It's alright! I know I ate way too many of them my first time here, it tastes better because it's baked with love.” Wafflecone reassured her, glancing back at Oatmeal conspicuously.

“That does explain why they're so delicious. If it would be alright, could I take home the extras for my brothers? I just know they'll get prissy if I don’t bring any back.” Shadow Milk would 100% eat all of them in one bite, but that's beside the point! He had a cover story to keep up.

“Of course, if there's none left I'll bake you some fresh.” Oatmeal said, leaving no room for discussion. Milkcrown nodded in thanks.

The rest of the meal went off without a hitch. Pure Vanilla and Milkcrown looked at each other every time the other two did something oblivious, like when Wafflecone put her arm around Oatmeal's shoulder. It was…fun. Shadow Milk didn't want to admit it, but he enjoyed simply existing for a fleeting moment. Sharing laughs with cookies who saw him, no, Milkcrown as an equal. Even though it wasn't him they were spending their precious time with, he still found solace in their company.

Stop thinking so hard, Milkcrown doesn't have such worries or woes! He internally scolded himself. You are here to matchmake, not have a mental breakdown in the middle of the Crow's Nest.

“You two seem rather close, how long have you been friends?” Milkcrown asked the two cookies across from her with a tilt of her head. Wafflecone caught onto her immediately, face turning slightly red.

“A few months I'd say?” Oatmeal answered honestly, not catching onto her ulterior motives. Milkcrown laughed into her fan lightly.

“You two sure caught on fast then! I wish I had such a… close friendship.” She looked at Pure Vanilla from the side of her eye. His staff made eye contact with her and he held back a snort.

“Ah, yes. I suppose they did get along quite quickly! It's enviable, really.” He played along, a small smirk visible. You are not Shadow Milk right now you are NOT Shadow Milk right now. Milkcrown has to remind herself almost hysterically. It's not attractive, it's stupid and should be wiped off his face immediately!

“I guess we did aha.” Wafflecone tucked a hair behind her ear. “Oatmeal's just easy to get along with.”

“You as well then, Wafflecone. You're…easy to talk to.” Oatmeal smiled larger than she's seen all day, which isn't very big but it's a lot for them!

They silently stared at each other with so much admiration in their eyes Shadow Milk ached, why couldn't he keep looking at me like that.

“I should head out soon, my brother's will be wondering where I am.” Milkcrown blurted out. Please no one offer to walk me home. I don't know if I have enough magic to create the illusion of a whole house and two people!

“It's getting a bit late to walk by yourself…” Pure Vanilla observed, a wrinkle in his brow. How long had they been there for the sun to be so low in the sky? Sure she'd be fine walking by herself, but unfortunately it was just dark enough to warrant concern. “I can accompany you if you'd like? You can refuse of course, I'll respect whatever decision you choose.”

“I won't. It's late, take up his offer or I'll walk you instead.” Oatmeal bluntly told her. Either I have to deal with the silent type or I get to have my ears grated on by his voice.

“I'd be fine walking alone, but I'll take his offer since you're still on the clock.” She decided, fanning her face slightly. You better not make me regret this. “If it wouldn't be too much trouble, of course.” She glanced at him, dialing the pitiful act up.

“It would be no trouble at all, don't worry about it. Plus, that's what friends do, right?” …friend? She shook her head to clear her mind of that memory.

“Then it's settled. Do you need a basket for the bread?” Oatmeal stood up, brushing their apron off.

“No, thank you.” She held up the basket that had been hiding next to her. “I've got my own, I was grocery shopping.”

Oatmeal took the basket and put the remaining raisin buns inside meticulously before handing it back. “There. Stay safe.”

“We will.” Pure Vanilla answered as he stood up, giving Oatmeal a farewell hug. “You should be careful walking home too, alright?” So they get to walk home alone but I don't?  Was I too pathetic?

“I'm walking them home!” Wafflecone interjected. “So I'll be sure to keep them safe and sound.” She's a sweet girl, I hope she doesn't get her heart broken.

“And you're staying in the guest room, witches know how late it'll be by the time we get there.” Oatmeal immediately shot back, making Wafflecone's face turned redder. They're so sickeningly sweet. If a witch ate them their whole mouth would be full of cavities!

They all said their goodbyes, Pure Vanilla gave them both short hugs before walking to the door and holding it open for Milkcrown.

“You're certainly a gentleman, aren't you? Offering to walk me home, holding open the door…thank you.” Don't lay on the charm too thick, he seems the clingy type. I'd rather not deal with him as the doll AND as Milkcrown.

“No, thank you . Thank you for letting me spend time with you.” He smiled warmly at her, she hated that it made her heart skip a beat. She begrudgingly smiled back, only to keep her disguise intact! The rest of their walk was spent in strangely comfortable silence. Eventually, she thought they’d walked far enough away for him to be unfamiliar with the area, at least, as unfamiliar as he could be.

“Sis!” An illusion of Dark Blueberry Cookie ran up to her, hugging her legs. “We missed you! Oh, you brought the sheep man.” He glanced up at the other cookie before returning his gaze to her. “Big brother started making dinner, he said he might have to go out and get bread though…”

“Ah, don’t worry Blueberry, I have some raisin buns, which should be an ample substitute.” She put on a kind smile at the illusion. “Milk is still inside, yes?” At the boy’s nod she turns to Pure Vanilla. “I should get going now, thank you for walking me home.” She plastered on a friendly smile.

“And thank you for letting me, goodbye you two!” He waved as the illusion of Dark Blueberry dragged Milkcrown away into the forest.

Chapter Text

Shadow Milk let out a breath he didn't know he was holding once he was out of sight. “That guy's way too persistent!” He huffed, waving away the illusion of Dark Blueberry Cookie. “I mean, can he be any more considerate?” He groaned, holding his face with both hands. “Pull yourself together. You need to somehow beat him home, otherwise he's going to catch onto you. Even if he does know you're the plush, you can't be so careless!”

He started the long trek back, transforming into a stray cat along the way to go undetected. If Pure Vanilla turned around and saw Milkcrown he'd get suspicious! Thankfully only a few passerbys tried to pet him, he hissed at all of them. (He let a little kid pet his head, only because it was polite and asked first!) The streets were quiet other than that though, thankfully. He wouldn’t know what to do if it was the middle of the day, he’d get trampled for sure.

Suddenly, Pure Vanilla turned around and spotted him. Before he could run and hide he was gently scooped up. “Hello there, are you lost? Oh dear, that looks like a nasty scar…” He frowned at the gash over Shadow Milk's eye. I almost forgot about that. But could you put me down already! I've seen enough of your stupid face today.

“Hm. You seem docile, did your caretaker abandon you out here?” He asked, beginning to walk towards the castle while cradling the cat like a baby with one arm, the other holding his staff. Shadow Milk didn't want to admit how close he hit to home with the abandonment comment. “Well, it's supposed to be a very cold night tonight. I'll let you stay in my room, or with the sheep if you'd prefer.”

No I would not prefer! He meowed indignantly at the idea. “Aww you're quite the talker, aren't you?” I'll kill you!

“I don’t know what you eat, but I'm sure one of the cooks could prepare something. Maybe I could put some cooling salve on that eye of yours…it looks healed over, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.”

By the time the sheep pen came into view it was dark, and the stars were obscured by gray clouds. I guess he was right about it getting cold, but he didn't mention wet! The sheep pen was empty, but he could hear baa'ing from the stables. “I suppose the stable boy put them up; I'll have to thank them later.” He hummed, lightly scratching behind Shadow Milk's ear as he entered the castle.

On the way to the kitchen, he got a few looks and coos, but fortunately no one moved to touch him. If they did, I'd claw them up! And also escape Pure Vanilla. Yeah. I…I'd definitely do that first. He decided to ignore his own body betraying him by purring. It was a natural response to being warm. Totally. It was cold outside, give him a break.

“Your majesty?” The lone Cookie cleaning up turned as Pure Vanilla entered the kitchen. “It's late, did you need something?” He looked nervous, they still tread around him like he's a king instead of taking their opportunity to ridicule him.

“Apologies for coming in so late, do we have anything cats can eat?” He asked sheepishly, the other only now noticing Shadow Milk in his arms. “I found this little guy following me, he must be hungry from living on the streets.” Eugh, he better not give me mushy cat food. I'd take the gross pellets over that any day.

“Well, we have some leftover gummy fish? I don't think they can eat it uncooked, though.” He opened the fridge and handed Pure Vanilla a package. “I need to head out, could you lock the door behind you?”

“Of course, I'll be fine on my own.” He reassured him as he scurried away. “Well, he seemed nice.” You think everyone's nice. “So, all I need to do is…microwave it?” Are you an idiot?! He growled, Pure Vanilla chuckled. “I'll take that as a responding ‘no.’ I suppose the oven is the better choice?” Shadow Milk hopped out of his arm and onto the counter, licking his paw. He must have taken that as a yes, as he took out a tray and set the unpackaged fish in the middle before sliding it in the oven. “Eh…how long should I keep it in there?” He wondered aloud as he turned it on.

Shadow Milk rolled his eyes and pawed at the cutesy kitchen timer until it was set for ten minutes. “Oh! Uhm, I suppose that's as good a time as any, right?” Pure Vanilla laughed lightly, giving Shadow Milk a scratch behind the ear. You'd agree with me if I put six hours, you don't get to judge. You're also trusting a cat to know how to cook fish. So.

“Well, while we wait I suppose I could talk to you. I hope you won't mind keeping me company, aha.” He smiled warmly down at him. You take any excuse to hear your own voice, don't you? To be fair, if Shadow Milk had his voice he'd also talk to himself all the time. “You actually caught me on my way back home after walking a new friend to hers. You might have seen her, she has beautiful eyes.” Why is that the thing that sticks out to you? The one thing that never changed between disguises.

“She really had a way with words, ya know? It's hard to explain. But…it felt familiar. Comforting.” He leaned on the counter next to Shadow Milk, sighing wistfully. “I don't know why it felt as if I'd known her all my life.” Can you tone down the lover boy nonsense!? Yes she's pretty, because I made sure she was, but you aren't even mentioning that! All my hard work gone to waste.

He lamented for far longer than anyone would reasonably believe if Shadow Milk told them before the kitchen timer went off. “Oh! I'd almost forgotten.” He popped open the oven, slipped out the tray and let it clatter on the counter. Idiot forgot gloves. Ha. You should really put something on that though. Because it wouldn't be a fair fight if you're already burned!

“It's a bit hot,” understatement of the century “so you should wait to eat it.” Shadow Milk rolled his eyes and poked the fish with his nose. It wasn't nearly as hot as the tray itself, plus even if it was he'd still be unaffected. He snatched it up and ate it all in one bite. Pure Vanilla looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. “Kitty! You- you can't just-!” He sighed, not being able to stay mad at his face for long. “You must've been very hungry, I hope you at least got to taste it a little before swallowing.” Not at all! It was a bit dry, though. You should’ve put foil on top of it to keep the moisture in. Dummy.

He put the tray away before scooping Shadow Milk up once more. “Time to go to bed, little guy.” Crumbs, I need to get back before him! He let the cookie carry him out of the kitchen before bolting out of his arms. “Wha- come back!” Pure Vanilla called after him, but he didn't dare look back. If he did, he might’ve reconsidered.

He sprinted to the window he jumped out of earlier and began to claw his way up the brick. It hurt, burned, but he couldn't focus enough to float himself up. After slipping a few too many times he finally pulled himself over the ledge. Remind me to never try climbing with claws ever again! He groaned as he jumped up back into the bed and returned to his plushy prison. He was just in time, too. Not even a minute after his magic’s light dissipated, the door was unlocked and sadly swung open. Pure Vanilla trudged in with a frown on his face and a furrow in his brows. He sighed and plopped onto the bed next to Shadow Milk, picking him up.

“Words cannot describe how happy I am to see you right now.” He mumbled, hugging the plush tightly to his chest. You’re acting like someone just died, all that happened was a cat ran away from you! You barely knew it for an hour. “I’ve had a long day, I hope you won’t mind hearing about it. Just now, though, the cat I brought home ran away as soon as I tried taking it upstairs. It was so calm up until then, I don’t know what I could’ve done wrong…” Stop trying to make me feel bad! It’s not working! He tried to convince himself as Pure Vanilla’s hold tightened.

“And my day had been going so well! I suppose I shouldn’t linger on the downs, should I?” He brought the plush away from himself to look it in the eyes. “I did make a new friend, after all.” Please don’t go all lover boy again I’ll barf. Sure she’s a disguise, but that was still me wearing it! “You should have seen her, Shadow Milk. I think she might have ancestors from your kingdom, actually. Her dough was the same beautiful blue as yours, and her eyes were just as mesmerizing.” His expression could only be described as lovesick. If dolls could blush, Shadow Milk would be. This is humiliating! He groaned internally, ignoring the weird feeling in his chest.

“If I see her again, I should tell her how pretty her eyes are, I mean, I could get lost in them for days without even trying.” Since when were you this much of a romantic?! “I’ll have to ask Wafflecone Cookie about her next time I go to the Crow’s Nest since she saw her first. I know I consider her a new friend, but I want to be sure she feels the same. I wouldn’t want to come on too strong!” You had no such doubts when it was with me.  

He smiled as an idea hit him. “Oh, next time I see her we can try and help Oatmeal and Wafflecone Cookie get together! We kind of did today, what with leaving together to give them some alone time, but I believe that we could make an even better plan to speed things along. How I love love.” Can you please stop talking so shamelessly! I miss Truthless Recluse; he was so much more manageable. A gust of wind sent a chill down Pure Vanilla’s spine.

“Did I leave the window open?” He turned and saw that the window was indeed wide open. Witches, I forgot to close it on my way in! Cats don’t have opposable thumbs, though, so even if I tried I don’t think I would’ve had much success. He stood up and closed the window, locking it shut. “There, now we won’t freeze tonight.” He put Shadow Milk down facing the wall. “One moment please, I have to change into my nightgown.” You mean the one that makes it look like you belong in the 1900’s?

After a minute of shuffling and the sound of fabric rubbing against itself Shadow Milk was turned back around. Do you seriously not own any other night clothes? I’m a robe man myself. You should really invest in more sophisticated night wear! Maybe get a sleep mask too so I have to look at less of your face. “Time for bed! Hm. Should I leave you on my desk so I don’t grab you again? I’m afraid you’ll get lonely…” Pfft, me? Lonely? Silly Vanilly, I’m supposed to be the clown in this relationship! “Well, it’s either that or I inevitably get a hold of you anyway.” He looked conflicted. Like this was a serious issue to resolve.

“Since I’ll probably grab you in my sleep anyway, I’ll just bring you to bed with me.” He decided, to Shadow Milk’s delight. Not because he liked sleeping in his arms! It was simply easier to access his dreams that way. He wouldn’t have to turn into anything to move himself closer, that’s all.

Pure Vanilla laid down and held the plush securely to his chest. “Goodnight, bluebird.” Stop calling me such a cutesy nickname! I’m not one of your beastly animals. (Read: Sheep)

Shadow Milk metaphorically sighed and resigned himself to his fate until Pure Vanilla fell into unconsciousness.

Chapter Text

Black Sapphire wanted to go home. He wanted the spire back and he wanted Master Shadow Milk Cookie back even more than that. He and Candy Apple Cookie had returned to their makeshift base only to be met with the horrific sight of no Shadow Milk Cookie doll in sight. They looked everywhere . The spire’s ruins, the forest surrounding them, even under the broken pillars. He was just gone. Vanished out of thin air. There weren’t even any clues left behind.

Candy Apple was currently hiding in her pile of stuffed animals sobbing her eyes out, Black Sapphire knew that she wouldn’t appreciate him checking in on her. He learned that she preferred to mope by herself a long time ago. So there he was. Standing outside their base, no master, and a crying Candy Apple grating on his ears. It hurt to hear her wailing, and not just because of the sheer volume she could hit. It was almost impressive if not annoying.

“I need to do something, anything! I can’t just wait for him to come back, what if someone in the Faerie Kingdom took him? He wouldn’t have been able to run off on his own yet, and even if he could he would’ve returned by now.” He mumbled, pacing back and forth in front of the doorway. He grabbed a chunk of his hair with the hand not clutching his microphone. “I could always go scope things out in disguise, talking to Silverbell Cookie could provide useful information…he trusts Grapevine Cookie. He’d tell him if they found the beast of deceit.” He rationalized, releasing his poor hair. He took a deep breath to steel himself.

He made up his mind. He had to go to the Faerie Kingdom. Even if it proved to be a waste of time it was still better than moping around all day. Plus, it was as good as any place to start, wasn’t it? “Candy! I’m going to the Faerie Kingdom to see if anyone has information on the Master's whereabouts.” He shouted into the space. Her crying stopped for a second, quieting down to a more bearable volume before she responded.

“I-I can come with you!” She scurried out of the base, still sniffling but a determined expression on her face. Her eyes were still shiny, but it was clear she wouldn’t let Black Sapphire leave without her. “We have to find Master Shadow Milk Cookie if it’s the last thing we do, I’ll help!” She declared, leaving no room for discussion.

And so off Grapevine Cookie and Apple Faerie Cookie went.

The first thing Shadow Milk felt was cold. He opened his eyes to see a far darker landscape than the first dream he entered. “Wasn't expecting a nightmare tonight.” He said aloud to the cloudy skies that looked ready to burst into tears. He felt a pull to the greenhouse, and so there he went. At least if it does rain I'll stay perfectly dry. He floated, not wanting to be tethered to the ground, but the lack of footsteps was ominous. Last time he was here there were birds chirping to fill the silence, but now he was on his own.

For whatever reason he was much farther away from the greenhouse than last time, having to float halfway across the gardens to find it. On the way there he noticed the grass growing paler, and the foliage more rotten. I didn’t even think he knew what a wilted flower looked like. He’s so good at everything you’d think he’d have used some kind of healing magic on them before they got this…grotesque.

He finally saw the greenhouse in the distance; he quickened his pace and slipped through the glass doors. He paused upon entering. The flowers were similar to the last dream, but all of the milkcrowns were wilted, and the rest were drooping. The air smelt of rot with a hint of alcohol. Just what is going on? He turned the corner and saw Pure Vanilla hunched over the patch of blue roses. “Funny seeing you here!” He called out, feeling awkward just watching the other. Pure Vanilla's head snapped back, and oh. Oh. He was crying, or he had been. His eyes looked puffy, red, and hopeless. Even the eye of his staff looked shiny with unshed tears.

“Shadow Milk…?” His voice, too, sounded just as broken as he looked. “No, it can't be you. You- I'm hallucinating. I have to be.” Yeesh. Feels like I walked in on a funeral I wasn't invited to.

“You look down in the dumps, who died?” Shadow Milk asked, an attempt to ease the tension. It seems he only made it worse as Pure Vanilla choked back a sob. Did I kill someone? I mean, it's not out of left field but who did I kill? His precious White Lily Cookie, or any of the others in his band of ancients are viable options. Black Raisin Cookie? Or maybe even Oatmeal Cookie. He's not looking at me with disdain though, so who-?

He floated up behind Pure Vanilla who had turned back to face the flowers while Shadow Milk was thinking. (The pungent scent of alcohol was stronger now that he was next to him.) A stone was behind the blue roses he seemed to care for so dearly, the name Shadow Milk Cookie was engraved lovingly into its surface.

“Oh.” This wasn't what he expected at all. Why was Pure Vanilla even having a nightmare, this should be a dream! He wanted this…didn't he? The atmosphere made far more sense now, though. It was weird that he wasn’t celebrating, but Shadow Milk wasn’t a psychologist. 

“My death was…greatly exaggerated?” He tried, playing along. “I mean, I'm the beast of deceit after all! Ahaha!” He was met with a resounding silence that permeated his dough. He wanted Pure Vanilla to wake up already, being in this fake scenario was making him feel emotions he couldn’t put a name to.

“...” Pure Vanilla only breathed in response. Well, that didn't work. Does he still think I'm merely a projection of his own mind? This won't do at all! “Hey! This is all a dream anyway! So quit moping around already.” This got him to sit up straighter. Finally, sheesh. I was beginning to think you’d never stop mourning.

“A…nightmare?” He pinched himself, expression melting into relief when he didn't feel a thing. Without warning he tackled Shadow Milk into a hug, dropping his staff along the way.

“Wha- hey! Just because this is a dream doesn't mean you get to manhandle me!” He squirmed, kicking his feet in the air. (Yes, you read that right. The air. Pure Vanilla was the type of hugger to pick you up off the ground.)

“Ah, right.” He let Shadow Milk go reluctantly. “Apologies, I got a bit ahead of myself there.” He sheepishly bowed his head in apology and picked his staff back up. “Even if you aren't real, I shouldn't use the excuse of it being a dream to take advantage of you…” It's not that serious actually. Shadow Milk rolled his eyes and saw that the gray clouds had dissipated, leaving behind a bright blue sky.

“Would you look at that? The sky's clearer than ever!” Thank the witches it didn't rain, I hate getting wet in dreams! It's an uncanny feeling and I'd like to avoid it if at all possible. Looking around he saw that the flowers were blooming brightly, even the once wilted milkcrowns. The gravestone was also gone, replaced with even more daffodils surrounding the vibrant patch of blue roses. This is more in line with what I expected going into this. It was far too bright, an annoyingly sickeningly beautiful scene.

“Well…what now? You gonna wake up?” Shadow Milk pestered, leaning into the blondes' space.

“Well, I'd like to stay with you for a little longer.” Pure Vanilla smiled warmly at him, not flinching away. Shadow Milk retreated, he had forgotten that Pure Vanilla had no regard for his own personal space.

“I can't stop you; I'm just a figment of your imagination.” He poked the other's forehead with a Cheshire grin. “You must reaaaaally like the real me, huh? Staying in this dream just because I’m here. What if you’re sleeping in?” He leaned on his hands and kicked his feet behind him, he’d ended up laying down in the air. Pure Vanilla’s face turned a shade darker at the teasing.

“Ah, well. I suppose you’re right. I am quite…fond. Of the Shadow Milk from the waking world. I just wish my sentiment was shared.” He looked longingly at a milkcrown, crouching down to caress its petals. “I mean, I understand why he dislikes me. In his eyes I stole his soul jam, the very thing he was created to hold.” He let out a breath, closing his eyes. “All I want is to show I care. He won’t let me do that, and it can be frustrating, at times.” Because you did steal it. You stole my entire purpose from right under my feet and you have the nerve to feign pity for me.

“Well, either way he definitely doesn’t like you as much as you think you like him.” Shadow Milk decided to say in reply, starting a fight would be a waste of energy. Sure, it would help let off some steam, but it wasn’t worth it in the long run.

“As much as I ‘think’ I like him?” Pure Vanilla’s staff glanced up at Shadow Milk’s expression. “Do you really think that I would delude myself into feeling attachment to a beast? I wish I hated him, because then it wouldn't have hurt so much when he declined my offer of friendship. My heart wouldn’t ache every time I see the perfect shade of blue to match either of his eyes- I would be glad he ran with his tail between his legs. But I’m not.” He stood up, looking Shadow Milk in the eye. “I do not care for him out of pity or any other reason you might have conjured up, I simply do. I don’t know why, and I couldn’t possibly tell you, but I do.”

Shadow Milk’s stomach did a strange flip, am I coming down with something? I’ve heard of dream forms suffering strange consequences when put under pressure… “Well, isn’t that sweet. What, gonna profess your undying love for him next?” When Pure Vanilla only turned red in response Shadow Milk oriented himself straight up and planted his feet on the grassy ground. “Look, we both know that no matter how hard you try he won’t reciprocate.” He said, referring to reciprocating the other’s friendship.

“I don’t care. I’ll try to save him from himself if it’s the last thing I do.” Pure Vanilla declared, determination etched into his expression. Shadow Milk sighed dramatically.

“Ugh, well, I can’t make you do anything, can I?” He slumped. “I’m only in your head after all!” If he figures out that I’m the real Shadow Milk he’ll never let me live down the hug I gave him last time. I’d rather CRUMBLE than show him any weakness. He’ll pounce like a starving butter tiger!

Pure Vanilla only smiled slightly. “No, you cannot. Even if you were the real Shadow Milk you wouldn’t be able to stop me. I’ve been told I’m very stubborn.” 

“More like annoying. I mean, you mope when you see the color blue because of me! Desperation isn’t a good look on you, dear.” He snickered, floating to be barely taller than the other.

“That’s certainly not the word I would use to describe it.” Pure Vanilla huffed. The dream around them began to shift nauseatingly. “Oh, am I waking up already?” He sounded…disappointed.

“I guess so. Well, seems you dream of me often, so I’ll see you again.” Shadow Milk shrugged. “Besides, you’ve got that doll to keep you company, don’t you?” Pure Vanilla opened his mouth to respond, but it fell on deaf ears as the dream melted before their very eyes.

Chapter Text

The walk to the Faerie Kingdom was a grueling one. Black Sapphire hadn’t had to make the trek on foot before, what with Master Shadow Milk Cookie’s portals or his own teleportation magic. Since the spire’s crumbling, his magic has weakened. He might’ve been able to teleport himself but Candy too? No way, and he wasn’t about to leave her to walk all this way by herself. Not because he was worried about her, that would be absurd. She could normally kill anything that got in her way but…someone took their master, and they could still be lurking around. He didn’t want to risk it. He did, however, reconsider his decision when on the second day of walking she refused to go any further.

“Black Sapphire!” She whined. “Can you carry me? My legs are sooooo sore!” She complained, he was about to snap at her until he noticed how wobbly she was on her feet.

“I’m not a stead. Why not use those puny wings of yours?” He said instead, rolling his eyes.

“P-puny?! They’re the same size as yours!” She punched him in the side, knocking the wind out of him. He wheezed helplessly as she continued grumbling. “Besides! If they’re so puny how do you expect me to fly with them.”

He cleared his throat and stood up straight, Grapevine Cookie wouldn’t be put out of commision by his feeble little sister Apple Faerie Cookie. “Eugh, you’re so grossly argumentative.” He crouched in front of her, fake wings folding up on his back. He was thankful he couldn’t quite feel them as she pounced.

“Yippee! Let’s get moving already, I wanna see your little boyfriend!” She declared, smacking him on the head. He resisted the urge to drop her.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. “He is not my boyfriend. Our relationship is purely platonic.” He started walking, the weight of Apple Faerie not hindering him much. “Especially don’t say things like that when he could be listening. You might scare off my only informant.” The air smelled of rain and greenery, they were lucky they hadn’t run into any beasts yet.

“Yeah yeah whatever! Are we there yet?” She rests her head on his shoulder, boney chin poking him. “I mean, I thought it was only a day's walk away!” Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts.

“Do you make it a habit to be as annoying as possible?” He grit his teeth as he pushed past a particularly lush area. He felt her glaring a hole into the side of his head. “The only reason it's taking so long is because of your short little legs, by the way.” He heard her take a breath to presumably talk his ear off, so he continued. “But we should be close. I recognize the scenery.”

“Now was that so hard? You could’ve just left it at the last sentence you big jerk!” She slapped his arm, not nearly as hard as when she punched him earlier. Seems she's being more merciful since I’m her ride.

“Grapevine Cookie!” A saccharine voice called out, Silverbell Cookie emerged from the bushes, a bright smile on his face. “Oh, and Apple Faerie Cookie too! It’s been so long since you two have visited, come in, come in.” He led them on the much clearer path to the kingdom. It was clear of dangling vines unlike the area around it. There was no visible path on the ground, though. No footfalls to break in the grass.

“I’m glad you found us, it’s been so long I thought I was lost.” Grapevine bowed his head slightly in gratitude. “And as I’ve said before, there is no need for the formalities! Just Grapevine is fine.” He smiled at the silver cookie reassuringly.

“Apologies, it seems to slip my mind more often than not.” Silverbell sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “Since you’ve been gone White Lily Cookie has returned! Oh, you have to meet her!” He sped up, excitedly rambling about the ‘faeries savior.’ Black Sapphire had to hold back a violent gag at the name leaving his lips. The new Guardian of the Tree. She would seal their master back up in a heartbeat.

“Isn’t that…?” Candy Apple muttered in his ear, glancing at him from her peripheral vision. He nodded slightly, not wanting to draw Silverbell’s attention. “Do we ambush her?” Are you crazy?! He tried to communicate with his face. She took the hint and snapped her mouth shut with a click. (Not without glaring at him first.)

The kingdom came into view, it was just as grossly silver as he remembered. He refused to look at the tree which had taken his master prisoner for so many years. If only it caught on fire spontaneously. Or got a case of sugarmites. He smirked to himself at the idea. “We’re here! I just know everyone missed seeing your colorful faces around.” Silverbell gushed, faeries were moving too and fro with merriment. How dare they act so jolly, knowing their land was built upon a prison?

“Oh, oh! Has Agave Cookie said anything about me?” Black Sapphire often forgot that Candy Apple also had a little informant. Agave Cookie was the only other faerie to show any true interest in either of them, the rest looking on in distrust. She was just as naive as Silverbell.

“She hasn’t stopped talking about you.” Silverbell said with a fond smile. “She should be in the marketplace if you-” Before he had even finished, Apple Faerie was gone, throwing a wave behind her shoulder at Grapevine.

“See you later bye!” She shouted without even looking back at him. You little- ugh! I can’t believe she just left me here to deal with goody-two-shoes by myself. (He really wasn’t surprised in the slightest.)

“She’s certainly eager.” Silverbell laughed lightly into his hand, sounding much like the latter half of his namesake. “I can’t exactly blame her, though. I know I’m certainly glad to see you!” Black Sapphire couldn’t quite put a name to the emotion this stirred in him. “I do wish she’d stayed to see White Lily Cookie…”

“She’s a troublemaker anyway, I’d rather not have her embarrass me infront of the kingdom's savior.” Grapevine admitted with a huff. Candy Apple would have done her best to humiliate him, especially in front of Silverbell and White Lily Cookie. He would have been proud if it wasn’t at his expense.

“I suppose it might be for the best, then. Besides, I’m sure Agave will be glad to see her.” The faerie smiled at the thought. He was rather fond of both Apple Faerie and Agave Cookie, so it was only natural he was glad to see them get along. Grapevine nodded in response. Hopefully we don’t come back to the market on fire. I prefer my destruction to be…discreet.

Candy Apple was so excited! The main reason she used to come along with Black Sapphire was to see Agave. Since their first mission in the Faerie Kingdom she would beg Black Sapphire to let her tag along. Agave was the only girl her own age she could talk to. She was so used to being cooped up in the spire all day that she hadn't even known what she was missing out on.

She has to have missed me! Apple Faerie thought to herself as she scanned the marketplace for her friend. The market was bustling with gnats, it almost made her sick. If only she had her bombs… A flash of blue-ish silver hair tied into two buns distracted her from that train of thought, there she is! “Agave!” Apple Faerie called out, rushing to the other cookie's side with a bright grin on her face. Sure, she was supposed to get information, at least, that's how it started. But…it was nice to have a friend her age. Even if their relationship was built on lies. She could indulge herself every once and a while by pretending, couldn't she? She'd still pick Master Shadow Milk Cookie over her, but that was a given!

“Apple Faerie!” She exclaimed with just as much enthusiasm as the shorter barreled into her. “I haven't seen you in town square in, like, forever!” Her wings fluttered behind her as she spoke, hugging her back. “How have you and your brother been?”

How have they been? The thought hit her harder than she would like to admit. They had just gotten Master Shadow Milk Cookie back after years of his imprisonment, the spire no longer eerily quiet. But as quickly as he returned, he was gone once more. Stolen from right under their noses.

This was Candy Apple's time to forget about that. No, she couldn't forget but…she could pretend it never happened. At least for a short, blissful moment. Pretend that he was waiting in the spire with a bored expression on his face. Or-

“Apple Faerie? Are you alright? You kind of spaced out on me there.” Agave nervously asked. When Candy Apple looked up her face was contorted in concern.

“Ah, sorry. It's just…” She detangled herself from the other. Stay in character, and weave lies from truths. Just like Master Shadow Milk Cookie taught you! “Our father is out on a business trip and…I miss him a lot.” The lie formed easily on her tongue. “And I know Grapevine feels the same, but he's too stubborn to show it.” She furrowed her eyebrows.

Agave rested a gentle hand on her shoulder reassuringly. “I'm sorry to hear that, I'm almost certain Grapevine Cookie only fears showing weaknesses in front of you because he's your older brother. He thinks that his burdens are too heavy for you to carry…I know a cookie who thinks the same way.” Her smile turned slightly strained. The expression made Candy Apple bark out a laugh.

“You mean Silverbell Cookie?” She snickered. “I guess that makes him and Grapevine a match made in heaven!” Agave giggled into her hand at that, glad that her friend seemed to be cheering up.

“I'd be surprised if they don't end up together, I mean, you should hear the way Silverbell speaks of Grapevine Cookie.” She leaned into Apple Faerie's ear to whisper. “You'd think Silverbell was planning to propose the way he talks so highly of him! It's honestly painful to listen to.” Apple Faerie laughed loudly at that.

“For once I'm glad Grapevine isn't forthcoming, otherwise I'd be in the same boat.” She whispered back as if anyone would care about their gossip. She felt a warmth spread throughout her as they continued chatting the daylight away. It wasn't a foreign feeling, it was one she was well acquainted with. She felt it when she saw Master Shadow Milk Cookie, when Black Sapphire carried her, and when she spoke with Agave. Happiness. She let a real grin take over her face, no matter how much guilt the action created. She shouldn't, couldn't, be friends with a faerie. The faeries were the enemy. Agave would turn her back on Candy Apple, no matter how much she cherished Apple Faerie as a friend. As soon as she caught wind of her trickery- as soon as she saw the cookie behind the disguise? Disgust would overtake any fondness she held. But Candy Apple let herself believe otherwise, let the sweet lie of friendship wash over her as she smiled. She was good at playing pretend, just as her mentor taught her.

“Apple Faerie Cookie, Agave!” A voice called out, snapping her out of her inner plight. It was only then that she noticed how dark it was getting. Looking behind her she saw Silverbell Cookie waving as Grapevine trailed behind him like a lost dog. She had to bite back a snort.

“I'm glad you two didn't leave the marketplace, I don't think I would have been able to find you otherwise!” He's way too cheery, I can't believe this is Black Sapphire's type. Gross.

“I knew you would come to find us later so we didn't stray too far.” Agave responded, standing from the bench they had been idly chatting on. Just as Apple Faerie was about to stand as well she held out a hand to help her up. It was completely unnecessary, but Candy Apple took it anyway.

“Since it's so late, Silverbell offered us a place to stay.” Grapevine piped up from beside the aforementioned cookie.

“I call top bunk!” Apple Faerie exclaimed. They had stayed in Silverbell Cookie's home before, his guest room had a bunk bed. She always got top bunk.

Grapevine huffed out a far too dramatic sigh. “Fine, but only because I don't feel like climbing a ladder to go to sleep.” He rolled his eyes.

“I should probably get home too…” Agave said reluctantly. “I hope I'll get to see you tomorrow Apple Faerie!” She smiled, laughing as the other hugged her far too tightly.

“I better see you tomorrow!” Apple Faerie rectified. “I'm not leaving without saying goodbye, alright?” She released the faerie from her death grip.

“Alright then, I will see you tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

Shadow Milk woke up feeling wet. As soon as he came into consciousness he knew something was wrong. The room was still dark, and Pure Vanilla was clinging to him like a child would to a beloved teddy bear. Wait. Taking in his current condition, he felt the other's face pressed into his head where most of the, eugh, moisture was. Either he drooled on me or he cried on me. Gross either way. One option quickly reigned supreme as he heard a sniffle right in his non-existent ear.

“...Shadow Milk?” He sleepily murmured as he woke up. Which did not make the jester feel any sort of way. He was so completely and utterly neutral about the entire situation. “Ah. Another dream.” He sat up, gasping as he saw the state of the doll in his clutches. “Oh crumbs ! I'm so sorry, I-I didn't mean to get you all soaked.” He sounded genuinely distraught.

You got a few tears on me, not a bucket of soda! No need for all the fuss. Shadow Milk internally huffed as he was gently placed facing the wall. And they call me overdramatic.

“Hm. Should I leave you here for today? I need to go to the market and…the idea of my hat flying off in such a large crowd makes me more anxious than words can convey.” Pure Vanilla held the doll in one hand and his staff in the other as he lamented, now fully dressed. Please leave me here, I've been dying to take Condensed Milk Cookie out for a spin!

He made his choice and tucked Shadow Milk under his duvet. “I hope you won't get too lonely, but you know what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” He smiled softly at him, like he could truly see him, before leaving. What, no kiss goodbye?

Shadow Milk waited a few minutes this time before shifting into his desired disguise, it would be suspicious if Pure Vanilla caught him by the sheep pen again, he'd wait and meet the man in the market this time. Shadow Milk caught a glimpse of himself in the tall mirror leaning on Pure Vanilla's dresser.

He hadn't seen himself in this disguise for a long time. The ‘retired sailor with a secret soft side’ wasn't exactly…in demand. His hair was the same white as Milkcrown's, eyes the same as always. But he was taller in this form, broader too. He could almost compare to Burning Spice! Ha! His outfit was carefully curated to give off an unwelcoming aura at first glance, so was his expression. It was always so fun to glare at people as Condensed Milk, he had an intimidating stature.

He looked away from the mirror and climbed out the window with far more difficulty than the first time. We don't talk about how long it took him to squeeze out of that tiny hole. “Phew, finally back on ground.” Shadow Milk huffed before clearing his throat. He had to stay in character from this moment onwards! “Hey lil sheep, my brother would love your company but I'm a man on a mission, ya hear?” Condensed Milk drawled as he walked by the sheep pen. Thankfully they left him alone. Probably because he was twice the size of Dark Blueberry Cookie.

He leisurely made his way to town, throwing small smiles at freshly baked cookies and glares at anyone else who looked at him funny. It smelled like leaves as he walked into the markets. Most of the stands held food or flowers for sale, but who’s to draw the line between the two, while others sold nicknacks galore. His eye caught on a clip that would suit Milkcrown’s wintery hair. He shook his head, he was on a mission. Find Pure Vanilla and mess with him.

Glancing around he was met with colorful faces, but none of them were right. None of them made his heart stop as his eyes slid over them. So he kept walking. The air began to smell of sweets the farther in he roamed, he had to resist the urge to snatch a particularly enticing blueberry dessert. If I were an abdicated king, where would I hide? He thought as he declined a few hopeful merchants' offers. He didn’t know what an ‘alpha hoodie’ was and he didn’t want to find out. The stand that merchant was selling from looked far less quality than the rest, probably snuck in.

“Oh my gosh, is that Pure Vanilla Cookie?!” A young cookie made an attempt at whispering to her father. “He’s so much cooler in person than the statue makes him out to be.” I prefer the statue. Specifically when it’s head was detached. Shadow Milk thought before taking a deep breath to stay in character. Pure Vanilla was talking with some kind of jeweler who looked incredibly pushy. He was fidgeting with his staff which refused to look at the man in front of it. Condensed Milk would intervene, plus he’s heard about the king from his younger siblings. A friend of theirs was a friend of his.

“Is there a problem?” He stepped up without a care in the world, crossing his arms over his wide chest. “Looks to me like this fella doesn’t wanna buy from you. So what’s the hold up?” The salesman immediately leaned away from where he was previously breaching Pure Vanilla’s personal space. Said cookie looked up at him in shock.

“Ah, no, no problems here! Was just. Offering our benevolent king some of my wares is all! Actually, here. For free! Take it as a show of my gratitude for your service to our kingdom.” The man rambled, shoving a box into Pure Vanilla’s hands before making himself look busy by polishing another of his precious items. Well, that was easy. I was hoping for more resistance.

“Oh, thank you but I-” He started, but Condensed Milk shook his head. Pure Vanilla sighed. “Thank you. I hope the rest of your wares sell out good sir.” He said with a smile, leading Condensed Milk to a small area behind the main stands. It was far less crowded there, but they could still hear the sound of cookies.

“Sorry ‘bout all that, you looked uncomfortable. The name’s Condensed Milk Cookie, lovely meetin’ ya.” He held out his hand, for the now shorter, to shake. Pure Vanilla took it with far more care than necessary.

“Ah, I appreciate you stepping in. I can’t quite say no to my subjects, so I was likely going to end up buying from him even though I have no use for jewelry.” He bowed his head slightly in thanks. “You’re Milkcrown and Dark Blueberry Cookie’s older brother, right?” Huh. I shouldn't be surprised he’d remember such insignificant details about cookies he met less than a day ago.

“You got that right, I assume you're the Pure Vanilla Cookie they wouldn't shut up about.” He smirked down at him. “My siblings are fond of ya, so if you need anything give me a holler.” The lighting must have changed as it made Pure Vanilla's face look redder.

“Ah, I can assure you that they over exaggerate!” He hastily corrected. “I mean, I barely got to even speak with Dark Blueberry Cookie.” He's intentionally leaving Milkcrown out. Does he think I'm the overprotective brother archetype? She's a grown woman, let her talk to whoever she wants!

“Seems you got to know Milkcrown, though. She's a sensitive soul, but she's just as resilient. Don't feel the need to downplay your closeness, I'm not gonna bite.” Unless you ask, of course.

Pure Vanilla sagged in relief. “Oh thank the witches. I apologize for making assumptions, you just look the type to give out shovel talks.” He laughed nervously into his hand.

“Don't apologize, I know I look mighty intimidating. It's good for scaring off the bad crowds…but you don't fall under that umbrella, so you're safe.” He gave the vanillian a hearty pat on the shoulder.

“I appreciate that. I'd like to get to know you more…” I understood wanting to get to know me yesterday, but right now I'm not talking to your friends. I'm not a gorgeous woman. So why. Why is it that you always manage to back me into this corner? “As long as you aren't busy of course!” Pure Vanilla hastily tacked on.

“My calendars’ all clear for the day. I'd love to get to know you, too, shortstack.” Let Shadow Milk relish in being taller for once. Usually nicknames like this were thrown at him! “I'm actually out to find some doodads for my family.”

“Oh! That's lovely, I'll gladly tag along and help where I can.” Pure Vanilla's face lit up as he spoke. “I've been told I'm a good gift giver.” I'm sure you have.

Condensed Milk chuckled as they stepped back into the throng of people. “I appreciate it, I'll take all the help I can get.” They walked back into the area where mostly nicknacks were being sold. It was so busy to look at. Like an ‘I-spy’ book. “‘S been awhile since I've stepped foot in such a big market.”

“Ah, right. I almost forgot you just moved here!” Pure Vanilla glanced around at the stalls. “Is there anything in specific you're looking for?”

“Right, well, I saw a clip that I think Milkcrown would like a few stalls back.” He vaguely gestured in the direction he thought the stand was.

“Then let's start there first.” Pure Vanilla grabbed his hand without warning and gently guided him through the market. “Wouldn't want either of us to get lost, right?”

“Right.” I should crush his hand while I have the chance! But…no. It'll be more fun to mess with him. Eventually they stopped in front of a stand selling hair clips small and large, bejeweled or otherwise. “This is it, that blue one would look nice in her hair.” He pointed to a silver butterfly clip with pale blue gems.

“Oh it's gorgeous! I'm sure she'll love it. Here, let me pay for it as a token of appreciation.” Appreciating what? My biceps??? Sure they're big but not worth an expensive hair clip for some girl you barely know. Well. Never mind, he was definitely talking about her like a lovesick yearner last night, so he's probably only paying because he likes her.

“You really don't have to do all that darlin'-” Condensed Milk tried, but Pure Vanilla was already facing away from him. He exchanged a few words with the merchant before pulling out a small bag of coins. She shook her head when he tried to give her the proper amount, sliding part of it back to him before handing over the hair clip with a smile.

“Here, no need to pay me back.” He handed him the clip. It was shinier close up. This will become a permanent staple of Milkcrown's wardrobe. Not because he bought it! It's just…cute. That's all.

“If you're sure, just don't let her know you paid for it or she'll have a cow! She'll try giving it back an’ everything.” He joked as he put the clip in his pocket, secretly hiding it in his pocket dimension. He didn't want it to get broken.

“Well, that's one gift down! Should we look for a doll of sorts for Dark Blueberry Cookie? He seems to like sheep from what I've seen.”

“He likes sheep, but he loves wolves. I don't know how, considering he wants to be a shepherd. Maybe he thinks the big guys just need a scratch behind the ear to stay away from his flock.” A few stands around them sold plushies, sheep were far from a rare commodity though.

“Well, maybe we could find him a wolf? There are lots of vendors, I'm certain at least one of them will have something!” He assured Condensed Milk.

“Hm. Hopefully you're right. Keep an eye out for any scary lookin’ dolls too. Apple Faerie will be upset if I don't bring her anything back aha.” Keep the character constant through all iterations!

“Oh? Who's Apple Faerie Cookie, if you don't mind me asking?” Pure Vanilla asked with a tilt of his head.

“Right, it slipped my mind to mention my kids. Apple Faerie's the spoiled one, so we should find a gift for her first. Grapevine wouldn't complain about not getting anything, but I'll make sure to find ‘em both something.”

“...children?” Pure Vanilla looked shocked, but there was another emotion one couldn't quite place.

“Yep. Found the little faeries one day and they've stuck with me since. Grapevine is watching Apple right now, though. I hate to leave them alone but I promised Milkcrown to help her and Blueberry move in.” The indiscernible emotion fled the others face without a trace left.

“Oh, I apologize. I know it must be hard to raise two children alone, especially with two younger siblings.” He rested a hand on Condensed Milk's shoulder, the other holding the staff staring at him. “If you ever feel overwhelmed you can always come to me for assistance.”

“Thank ya kindly sweetheart. I'll be sure to take you up on that offer.”

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla Cookie felt strange. He had felt off since he locked eyes with Condensed Milk Cookie's, quite frankly gorgeous, eyes. He felt oddly safe, soothed, comforted each time his staff looked into them. He was also acting out of character, he felt his heart plummet to his feet at the mere prospect of this man having a lover at home awaiting him. Why? Why did he feel this- this disappointment? He couldn't rationalize why his heartbeat sped up at the sweet nicknames, or how his palms got sweaty at his proximity.

“Thank ya kindly sweetheart. I'll be sure to take you up on that offer.” He said with a slight smile. “For now how's about you help me pick out some more nicknacks?” Sweetheart? Oh Witches, why am I feeling this way, it's just a word! He felt terrible for swooning so easily. He had experienced the same phenomenon meeting Milkcrown Cookie, but it still made no sense.

“Of course, here is as good a place to start as any.” He kept his composed smile as he led the other to one of the stands selling plushies. After going to almost every stand that sold anything remotely resembling a stuffed animal they managed to find a cute wolf and a creepy teddy bear. “Oh don't worry your pretty little head, Apple has far scarier ones at home!” Condensed Milk had reassured him.

“Now that the easy bits outta the way, ‘s time to find something for Grapevine. He's always been the…hardest to shop for.” Condensed Milk scratched his head, holding the paper bag of goodies close to himself as if worried someone would steal it.

“Ah, how old is he if you don't mind me asking? I'm assuming he's too old for stuffed animals.” I'm such a hypocrite! I do wonder how Shadow Milk is doing all by himself, though…ack, now isn't the time to think about that.

“He thinks he's too old for everything at his age.” The taller chuckled deeply. “I mean, I don't think you're ever too old for a fabric friend! I don't suppose they'd sell any equipment he'd like, he's very particular about his tools. So it seems he'll have to settle with a plushie.”

“I'm sure he'd appreciate it as a souvenir even if he doesn't like stuffed animals.” Pure Vanilla reassured him. “Besides, its the thought that counts. As long as it's an animal he likes, he'll at least like it a little bit.”

“Well, his sister always teases him about how batlike his wings are. I don't see it, but he never tells her off for it. Oh, and he's fond of purple.” No one was ever only fond of purple, they lived in the color. Pure Vanilla thought back to Black Sapphire's ruined room and the purple wallpaper that he caught a glimpse of.

“I think I remember seeing a purple bat a few stalls down!” He grabbed Condensed Milk's hand, ignoring the shiver it sent up his spine. He, as with all the other trinkets, went ahead and bought it. It won't even make a dent in my coins, so why shouldn't I help out!

(Plus the relieved sag that the man did every time Pure Vanilla paid made his heart wrench. He clearly wasn't well off, and yet he had planned to buy all this by himself. He was as soft hearted as Milkcrown described.)

“Here, I do hope he finds it at least a bit cute.” He handed it over, watching as it disappeared into the bag with all the others. That bag can hold more than you'd think.

“He's a good kid, he'd say thank you if I gave him an old shoe. He's a good actor, he'd make you believe it was the best gift he's ever received!” Condensed Milk snickered as he led them to a quiet area dotted with benches. He sat down heavily, groaning as a concerning amount of cracking came from him. “Yeesh, haven't done that much walking in a hot minute.”

Pure Vanilla stood next to the bench with a frown and a creased forehead. “Are you quite alright? If you're sore I can heal you, it won't get rid of all the pain but it should soothe it.”

“Daw, worrying about lil ol’ me?” Condensed Milk teased with a smirk. “I'll be right as rain soon enough. Just…give me a minute. Or ten.” He's just as stubborn as- Pure Vanilla nipped that train of thought at the bud. You're hopeless.

“Hm…I suppose a rest would suffice.” He sat down next to him, tilting his staff up to see him properly. “Your sister mentioned you used to be a sailor, do you have any tales to share?”

“Certainly! Though, the best story I have by far has to be when some of my crew tried to throw me overboard!” Condensed Milk said with far too much excitement in his voice. “Apparently, they thought I was too soft to be on the same ship as them. They failed miserably! I mean, I had to laugh. None of them could even pick me up!” He chuckled.

“That sounds…interesting?” Pure Vanilla replied, concern barely concealed. That still sounds terrifying to experience. Even if they couldn't do it, the knowledge that I was stuck on a boat with people who wanted me dead would give me sleepless nights.

“When we got back to shore they got put behind bars, don't fret.” He reassured with a smirk. “They weren't very pleased. Usually what happens at sea stays at sea but I was feeling rather petty that day.”

Pure Vanilla couldn't stop the snort that escaped him at the mental image. “I can't imagine they were happy campers.” His stomach chose that moment to grumble. Loudly. He could feel his face heating up with embarrassment.

“Someone's hungry. Between you and me, I could go for some grub too.” He was thankful that the other didn't make a huge deal out of it. “You know any good places to eat? Milkcrown mentioned the Crow's Nest, long as you ain't tired of raisin buns.”

“I could never grow tired of raisin buns. Especially when Oatmeal makes them! I'm sure Milkcrown Cookie mentioned how delicious they are.” Pure Vanilla rambled as he stood. “I don't know what their secret is.”

“Maybe it's simply baked with passion.” Condensed Milk followed suit. “From what I can tell, they're filled with the stuff.”

“I think the saying goes ‘baked with love’ but passion fits them more. They don't show it through words, so a lot of cookies don't pick up on it.” He led the way towards the inn as he chattered. “They're mostly self taught actually! To be fair, I don't think you could get them to follow a recipe if they didn't agree with it. It says add one cup sugar, they disagree and add two, but it still ends up good.”

“You must care about them.” Condensed Milk said suddenly. “You talk about them the same way I talk about Milkcrown and Blueberry. I can tell you're proud!” He looked him in the eyes, (even though they were closed) it felt like he could see right through his dough and into his soul. It was always strange to see from a third perspective, that being his staff. But Pure Vanilla didn’t have the chance to respond as Condensed Milk entered the Crow's Nest, holding open the door. “After you, your majesty.”

“Why thank you.” He smiled up at him as he walked through the door. The bell had alerted Oatmeal of their presence, if them standing there was any indication.

“Pure Vanilla, I wasn't expecting you back so soon.” Blunt and to the point as always my friend. “Ah, I see you've brought another friend. Who looks…eerily similar to the last one.” They looked Condensed Milk up and down with a scrutinizing glare.

“I'm assumin’ you mean my sister Milkcrown. My name is Condensed Milk Cookie, pleasure meeting you.” He held out his hand politely.

“Oatmeal Cookie.” They shook his hand firmly. “I'll be taking your orders today since my colleague is preoccupied.” They led the two cookies to a booth seat. “So. What can I get you?”

“I'll just have the usual, thank you.” Pure Vanilla slid into his seat with Condensed Milk sat across from him.

“One raisin bun with a cold glass of milk. Got it.” They didn't even need to write it down before turning to the other. “And for you?” They arched an eyebrow.

“A raisin bun with…” He hesitated. “A mug of juice, if you will.” Drinking at this hour?  Pure Vanilla barely concealed his worry, while Oatmeal openly squinted at him.

“...I'll be back with your orders soon, don't hold it against me if I take longer than usual, though. I still can't believe he left me to run this place by myself so last minute. ” They mumbled the last bit as they disappeared into the kitchen.

“Wonder where the other guy is.” Condensed Milk leaned on the table in front of him. “I mean, I'd be right ticked off if I were in their shoes too. He's just lucky it doesn't get too busy, else I'd strangle him myself.” He huffed.

“Ah, I'm sure Oatmeal doesn't harbor any ill will! Those two bicker but they care for one another at the end of the day, even if they don't see eye to eye.” Pure Vanilla placated. “They're best friends, no matter how often they clash.”

“I see, they remind me of myself and a few…colleagues of mine.” Condensed Milk started. “We argue all the time, but at the end of the day I truly care for them.” He sounded bittersweet. They're probably friends he hasn't gotten to see in a long time. I know the expression he's wearing like the back of my hand, for I have worn it many a time.

Two plates clattered onto the table in front of them, interrupting the moment. Oatmeal remained as socially unaware as ever. “Two raisin buns, one glass of milk,” -they placed the glass in front of Pure Vanilla- “and some juice.” The mug was set down with a dull thud . “Will that be all for today?”

“That should be all, for now at least. Thank you!” He smiled at them warmly. “So there's no need to worry about us until it’s time to pay the bill.” Witches know they need less to worry about.

“Alright then, call me over when you want the bill.” They returned his smile with a much smaller one before retreating back into the kitchen.

“I suppose it’s time to dig in, eh?” Condensed Milk broke the silence. “These raisin buns smell amazin’ here's hoping they taste even half as good.” He chuckled, but didn't even move to grab his food until Pure Vanilla took his first bite.

“Just as delicious as always.” He sighed. “Just the right fluffy texture, and the raisins add a pop of flavor.”

“Mmm! Aye, these are great!” Condensed Milk said after taking a tentative bite, now taking far larger bits of the raisin bun with every bite. Pure Vanilla chuckled into his glass at the sight.

“Ah, did you eat breakfast? You're eating as if worried I'll snatch it if the opportune moment arises.” He teased lightly, taking a sip of milk.

“I might've forgotten, too busy planning my shopping trip to grab a bite before leavin’!” Condensed Milk barked out a laugh before leaning in as if to tell the other a secret. “Just don't tell Milkcrown, she'll have my head if she catches wind of this!” The only thing that Pure Vanilla could think about was how close the man was. Oh crumbs, can Shadow Milk summon a portal to swallow me whole? That would be less cruel of a fate! …a bit of an overreaction to an attractive man in your face but okay.

“My lips are sealed, my friend.” Unless you don't want them to be. He somehow kept his composure long enough for Condensed Milk to sit back in his seat.

“I appreciate it, honestly Blueberry would have my head too. You'd think I was the youngest the way they monitor me!” He took a swig of his drink, making a strange expression that was gone as fast as it appeared. “Phew, this is the good stuff.” You forgot to eat breakfast and you’re day drinking, I can see why they worry! Pure Vanilla ate more of his raisin bun to cover the concern he knew was bleeding into his expression.

“Do you have anywhere to be after this? There are a few places I’ve been meaning to visit, but haven’t had an excuse…” He fidgeted in his seat. He didn’t know why, but the idea of parting ways so early made him upset.

“I ain’t got nothing else to do, if you won’t mind me tagging along of course.” Then it’s a date.

Chapter Text

Shadow Milk didn't know what to think. He felt like he was a beast being tamed as he followed Pure Vanilla into a large building that he didn’t bother to read the sign for. It could be a boring museum filled with facts already bouncing around his own mind, yet he still followed. I want to crawl out of my dough and perish. This is miserable. He kept his expression neutral, curious. He's always been good at wearing a face that didn't belong to him.

“Uh, where exactly are we? I ain't familiar with the lay of the land yet, heh.” Condensed Milk sheepishly asked, looking anywhere but Pure Vanilla or his staff.

“Oh! I forgot to mention our destination in my excitement, forgive me. I thought that since you were often out at sea, a visit to the aquarium could be fitting!” He beamed, his joy blinding. Eugh. You're making me wish I incorporated sunglasses into this form.

“No need for the constant apologies darlin’. I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached!” Shadow Milk giggled internally at the irony of his statement. “Do they got gummy sharks in here? Oooo or whales …not likely considering their sheer size, I had a buddy that lost a leg to a whale! Phew, he went a bit looney after that.”

“Oh dear, no, they don't house any whales here!” Pure Vanilla reassured. “…I hope your friend is alright though.”

“He had a prosthetic, didn't let it get him down, no siree! If anything, he was more motivated afterward.” Condensed Milk left out that his sole motivation was to find the whale and kill it, which he believed would open up a worm hole. Oh how I love that old tale! I couldn't create a sailor without paying it homage.

Pure Vanilla looked relieved as they walked up to the front desk. “Hello! I'd like to per-” He started, but was cut off by the cookie behind the counter.

“Y-your majesty?! Oh my days, uh, no need to pay for entry!” They scrambled, handing him two V.I.P. tickets. “Here! Sorry I'm a bit of a wreck, aha. I never expected to see you here.” They were clearly an underpaid part-timer trying to pay for college if the bags under their eyes said anything.

“There's really no need for special treatment, I insist. I am no longer the king, even if I was, I'm nothing to cause a fuss over!” He smiled at her reassuringly.

“‘Sides, we wouldn't want to get you in any hot water with your boss, kid.” Condensed Milk chimed in, which only seemed to make the poor cookie more nervous.

“A-ah, please don't worry about it! My boss would hang me out to dry if I made you pay for tickets, honest!” From her demeanor, she seemed to be telling the truth. Gross. “So, go enjoy your afternoon! You can always come to any of us employees if you have any questions or concerns.” The way they said that sounded rehearsed, but at least it made them look put together.

“Hm, if you're certain then I suppose I cannot argue.” Pure Vanilla reluctantly backed down. “You have our utmost gratitude, thank you.” He smiled at them warmly.

“Sure do! But you don't gotta look at me like I'm gonna bite ya.” Condensed Milk jokes over his shoulder as they walked away. He only uses his rbf on men, he's a girl's girl! And anything else non-man adjacent. Which is funny considering what happened with his captain!

They entered a tunnel, but the walls were made of spotless glass that let them peer into the tank surrounding them. Interesting, the illusion of being under water via a tank with the bottom cut out. Yet it goes further up than you'd first think so that the fish can cross easily from one side to the other. “...well I'll be! I ain't never seen such a sophisticated tank!” Condensed Milk whistled as they walked underneath. “Is this how it feels to be a mercookie?”

“I never really thought about the logistics behind the making of these kinds of exhibits…” Pure Vanilla looked into the sea of gummy fish around them thoughtfully. “Since it is a tunnel, most pass through fairly quickly without so much as a second glance!” Well. They're stupid. Or they have the attention span of an iPad kid. Or both.

They stood next to each other, simply taking in the serene sight. He glanced to the side to see a yellow gummy fish chasing after a blue one. “Woah, d'ya think they're gonna fight?” He asked Pure Vanilla in a mock whisper as if the fish could hear him. “I bet on blue!”

“Aw, I think they're just playing!” He cooed as the gummy fish circled one another with vigor. “I mean, the blue one keeps slowing down for the yellow one to catch up.” Right as he pointed that out, the blue one let itself get caught by its yellow companion. They looked like they were fighting for a moment, but then the next they were swimming next to each other like the best of friends.

“...how's about we move on.” Condensed Milk somehow kept Shadow Milk's irritation out of his tone. “We've got a whole aquarium left to see!” He tacked on as an excuse to tear his eyes away from the sight. Stupid fish.

They finally entered the actual exhibits, and wow. The tanks were all different sizes, filled with different gummies and sea plants catered to each individual species. The nerd in him was freaking out, picking out the Swedish fish filled tank in the middle of it all. It was circular, so you could walk around it to see all the other fish before the circular room narrowed into another fish tunnel. Cookies mulled about, a few freshly baked ones pointed excitedly at particularly colorful varieties.

“This is quite the scenery, isn't it?” Pure Vanilla spoke up from beside him. “The faint blue lighting really pulls it all together.” It did. If the lights were a fluorescent white the room wouldn't feel nearly as calming. Ironic. Blue is meant to make you calm.

“Definitely. I'd be mighty spooked if the lights were red instead.” Condensed Milk joked with a sly grin. “It's real neat to see them up close, though. Never quite got the chance when I sailed the seas.” He paused. “Well, ‘cept when we had to eat them. Life at sea is dependent on fishing up enough food for everyone if you run out of rations. Which has happened more than I'd like to admit!”

“I can imagine you've gotten sick of it by this point.” Pure Vanilla giggled into his hand daintily. Don't describe him like that, gross! “I would've gotten sick of raisins if not for Oatmeal's baking.”

“You betcha I got sick of ‘em! But I didn't exactly have a lot of alternatives for supper, so I had to grit my teeth. I avoid eatin’ the things like they're poisonous.” Scientifically speaking, if you eat a bland food every day with nothing else then it'd begin to taste different. Usually worse as your palette tries to cling onto any difference in texture. You begin to notice how grainy potatoes taste for example. This is due to repeated exposure to said food, you get used to it and therefore derive less pleasure from eating it. So his hatred for fish is dignified. Shadow Milk wanted to mince his own brain matter for that long, useless train of thought. You are not the fount of knowledge. You will never be him again. His expression didn't change in the slightest as he internally berated himself. Right now you are Condensed Milk Cookie. Nothing more, nothing less.

They walked around the area in a silence that looked comforting to any bystander, even Pure Vanilla himself. But Shadow Milk was tense as unwanted facts flooded his brain at the sight of each fish. Wow, the way this tank is set up is the perfect habitat for this species of tetraodontidae. He had to resist the urge to bash his head into the glass repeatedly until he could no longer form a coherent thought. Until his dough and jam could not be distinguished from one another. Telling himself he wasn't the fount of knowledge anymore did little to quiet the string of information going through his head.

Whatever. He thought dismissively, turning his attention back to the blonde beside him. Pure Vanilla's face was illuminated by the faint blue lights that surrounded them as he peered inquisitively into the glass with his staff. It highlighted the softness in which he held himself, but also the strength in his jawline. Even though he didn't need to face his head towards the tank, he did. He was…for lack of a better word, ethereal. Bathed in beautiful hues of blue, he looked perfect. He had been perfect as Truthless Recluse, swathed in dark navy fabric.

He wanted to go back to the useless fish factoids already. He tore his gaze from the vanillian beside him, preferring to look at quite literally anything else. He forced himself to dissociate from the situation, he knew so much about fish simply because he was at sea for so long. Telling himself that seemed to make his shoulders relax slightly. They made their way through the rest of the aquarium in blissful quiet. Pure Vanilla seemed to sense his inner turmoil, either that or he was just as socially awkward as he was well-meaning. And that’s saying something.

The blues of water went by in a blur, specks of color occasionally making a debut. It was peaceful, taking a back seat for once. Letting his body repeat the motions of walking, nodding and smiling every once and a while to show he was paying attention. It was muscle memory at this point, he could do it in his sleep. Witches, he probably has . It was a breath of fresh air when they finally circled back around to the front of the building, the cookie behind the front desk looking half asleep. He couldn’t tell how long he had been in there, and he didn’t want to know.

“Ah, are you alright?” Pure Vanilla questioned. “You’ve been…quiet. I didn’t want to ruin the moment so I didn’t ask earlier.” Ah. I suppose my acting took a decline as soon as I put the car into auto pilot. Welp! Time to let the showman take the wheel once more.

“Don’t worry about me darlin’, I was just takin’ it all in. I appreciate the concern, but you should aim it at someone who needs it.” Condensed Milk reassured with his signature smile. (That being a very small one that was barely noticeable.)

“If you say so.” Pure Vanilla looked away, gaze landing on the receptionist. “Are they-?” He asked before being cut off by the taller.

“Sleepin’ on the job? Definitely. On purpose? I doubt it.” Condensed Milk finished for him. “They looked scared out of their skin thinking about their boss. Must be a real scary guy, but what aquarium needs a terrifying manager is my question. Just because you’re scary doesn’t mean your crew will listen to you. Fear doesn’t breed respect.”

“Wise words.” He’d almost forgotten about the man next to him. “We should probably wake them up, right? I mean, I wouldn’t want them to get in trouble over something so small.” Worried over something that has no impact on you in the slightest how…typical. No matter what Shadow Milk thought, he followed Pure Vanilla as he walked up to the front desk. “Uhm, I never got their name…” He looked incredibly embarrassed as he stood in front of them ready to call out a name he didn’t know.

“Leave it to me.” Condensed Milk gently pushed the other aside. “Hey, buddy! Wake up you’re missin’ class.” That got her to bolt up immediately.

“Huh whuh?” She looked around frantically before sagging in relief as she realized where she was. “Ah, sorry. Looks like I almost fell asleep.” They look up to see the owner of the voice that woke them up, jumping as they make eye contact with the behemoth that was Condensed Milk. “O-oh! Apologies, I didn’t mean for you two to see me slacking, I just didn’t get much sleep last night! Studying for a big test coming up, ya know?” They let out a word vomit.

“Yer fine kid, we ain’t snitches.” He reassured her. “Sides, you gave us V.I.P. tickets, it’s the least we can do in return.” Pure Vanilla nodded from beside him.

“Well, er, if you’re sure. Thank you! For, not telling on me. If anyone else found me I might be out of a job, aha. Ha.” She shook her head. “But seriously, I appreciate you two checking in. I’ve been known to fall asleep in the strangest places if given the chance aha…”

“Of course, hopefully our paths will cross again some day.” Pure Vanilla piped up with a warm expression. “I wish you the best of luck in keeping your eyes open, dear.”

“Thank you! See you, uh, later?” They awkwardly waved as the two men left. Once they were out of sight they looked to the side to see an energy drink they didn’t remember bringing with them on their desk. Beggars can’t be choosers, right?

Chapter Text

Candy Apple was nervous about her mission with Black Sapphire. She was worried she'd mess something up. Obviously she would do her best, to garner her master's praise. She could be no less than perfect. But the nagging thought that she might slip up persisted.

“Are you ready to go?” Black Sapphire asked as he fixed the cuff of his sleeve. He was always so meticulous about his disguises. “If the answer is no, I'm leaving without you.”

“You meanie! Yes, yes I'm ready to go! Sheesh.” She pouted, disliking the green she was forced to adorn. Red was so much cuter! He huffed in reply.

“Well, I suppose you remember our little cover story?” Like I'd be able to forget it. I've been repeating it in my sleep! “I'll go over it one last time just to be sure. I am Grapevine Cookie, and you are my little sister Apple Faerie Cookie. We haven't been around due to our father's travels, but we wondered about our heritage and found our way to the faerie kingdom.”

“I got it, and if they try to poke holes in our story we divert their attention.” He nodded at her, a small smile on his face.

“Exactly right. This mission should be smooth sailing.” The ‘pun intended’ went unspoken. “Now then, I believe it is time for us to depart.” He held out one of his hands. She took it, familiar with his teleportation magic. It was similar to Master Shadow Milk Cookie's portals, at least in the way it felt. It could only be compared to a huge drop in a roller coaster, when all your organs felt like they were going to come out of your mouth. Or your eyeballs.

She had squeezed her eyes closed, but when they opened she was surrounded by a forest. Apparently they were near the Faerie Kingdom, but not close enough for anyone to spot them teleporting. The air smelled moist as she took in her surroundings, it was so much louder than the spire. The ambient noise was almost deafening in comparison to the eerie silence she had grown accustomed to.

“If my calculations are correct, the path should be…” Black Sapphire parted a bush, revealing a barely used path. It couldn't even be considered a path, it was just disturbed grass.

“Eh, are you sure we're in the right place? That could have been from an animal.” Candy Apple spoke up from behind him. He turned with a glare. He took a deep breath to keep himself in check.

“Obviously their paths won't be as clear as ours, they mostly fly everywhere. They don't need to walk all the time like we do.” He explained, irritation barely concealed. “Any sign of life is good, if we follow the flatter grass we're sure to find the kingdom eventually.”

“ Ohhhh . I get it now! I wish my wings didn't tire out so fast, then maybe I could fly everywhere too.” She crossed her arms, pouting as she followed the taller through the fauna.

“Then I'd start calling you a gnat.” He retorted quickly. “I mean, the only criteria you're currently lacking is flying. Otherwise you fit the bill! Loud and annoying.”

“I am not loud and annoying you wannabe radio host!” She stuck her tongue out at him, inadvertently proving his point. The rest of the walk was quiet save for small spouts of bickering, they would’ve been more frequent but Black Sapphire was forced to focus his attention on the grass in front of them to lead the way. He looked like a washed up detective, squinting so harshly at the ground. Or a botanist.

Along their trek Apple Faerie had grabbed onto Grapevine's hand, something about the area put her on edge. She felt his hand tighten around hers as he stopped dead in his tracks, glancing up, she saw the reason.

An arrow right next to his head, the arrow was digging into his temple. It looked sharp, drawn back in a silver bow. Under any other context the expression on his face would make Candy Apple laugh, maybe even take a picture as blackmail. Does this faerie see through us already? I can't die like this, not without making Master Shadow Milk Cookie proud!

After a moment that stretched on for an agonizingly long time, they spoke. “Oh dear!” The bow was lowered with an apologic expression, the taught string being loosened. “I didn't notice you were faeries, my sincerest apologies.” His voice and appearance were far kinder than anticipated. “My name is Silverbell Cookie.”

“Ah, no need for apologies. We look like intruders at first glance.” Grapevine easily diffused the tension with his smooth tone, she knew better though. His hand hadn't loosened a bit. “My name is Grapevine Cookie, and this is my little sister Apple Faerie. We don't know much about our pasts, and heard that the faerie kingdom was around this area. We had hoped to find other faeries.” His charming facade clearly worked as it brought out a more genuine smile on the silver cookie’s face.

“Then you're in luck, follow me, I can lead you! You'd likely never be able to find the kingdom alone, so it's a good thing I found you two.” Silverbell prattled on and on about the history of the kingdom, which Candy Apple didn't care enough to tune into completely. Master Shadow Milk Cookie would know everything that this gnat was spouting already, so there was no use in paying full attention. Something Black Sapphire ignored completely as he soaked up every word. I can't tell if he's acting or genuinely interested. Or some secret third option she didn't even want to consider.

He stopped rambling suddenly, a mercy to Candy's mind as it no longer had his jumbled words going in one ear and out the other. He did something with magic, she had truly checked out of the conversation, and then suddenly a kingdom was in front of them. Not like. Directly . She wasn't going to run into a wall by accident, but if anything that was something Black Sapphire would do. “Woah, it's so…silver.” Apple Faerie mumbled to herself as they were led inside. They stood out like sore thumbs amongst the muted colors of the kingdom.

“Aha, yeah it's always been this way! Unfortunately I can't give you all a tour or Mercurial Knight would tell me off.” The faerie laughed nervously. “But my colleague shouldn't be on any kind of patrol right now so I'll take you to her! I hate making her work too hard, but she complains that being a knight in training is boring.” Candy Apple perked up at that. A knight in training, huh? She sounds cool. The mere idea of having another girl to talk to gave her a pep in her step.

She tuned out Silverbell until they spotted another knight. Her dough was darker, which complemented her green hair. It was pulled up into a spiky bun while the rest framed her face. She was taller than Candy, but looked younger than Silverbell. She looked more like a knight than he did, wearing full coverage armor that glistened in the sun.

“Oh, Silverbell!” If her voice were edible it would taste like cotton candy. Was that a strange analogy? Candy Apple didn't care. “I see you've made some new friends…?” She trailed off, eyes glancing over the two newcomers. She lingered slightly on Apple Faerie.

“Yes, this is Grapevine Cookie and his sister Apple Faerie Cookie. They were hoping to reconnect with their culture here, and I can't exactly stop patrolling to give a tour.” He sheepishly explained. “If you aren't too busy, would you mind-?”

“Really?! Ahem , I mean. I'd love to give them a tour.” She turned to the two fruit faeries with a small smile. “My name is Agave Cookie, I'm sure Silverbell already told you that I'm a knight in training.” That's what her hair reminded me of, an Agave plant. Candy Apple wished she'd brought her notebook to doodle in, this cookie was giving her inspiration to draw!

(Granted she mostly drew Master Shadow Milk Cookie, but she drew other stuff sometimes…like. Random realistic eyes when she didn't know what else to draw.)

Agave Cookie started their tour of the fairy kingdom where they currently stood, giving an in depth explanation for everything they saw along the way. She also took questions, which was helpful for information gathering like they were tasked with. Sure, they were mostly meant to spread rumors, but who would trust anything two random cookies from outside had to say? No, they had to slowly build their reputation beforehand. Of course Candy Apple's first question was her age, and subsequently her birthday. Even though Agave was taller than Candy, she was a few months younger! Even though it would be fabricated and fleeting, she wanted to be friends.

She craved approval from Master Shadow Milk Cookie, but was happy to get it no matter who it came from. It filled the Shadow Milk shaped hole in her heart slightly. Or was it a different shape? She didn't know, and wasn't too keen on performing an autopsy to find out.

She kept getting off track, letting her mind wander as she looked through Agave. She wanted to know what made this faerie tick, to have her in the palm of her hand. She could ask Master Shadow Milk Cookie for help in gaining trust, ask for advice, but then her success wouldn't be her own. Praise would feel hollow. She had to solve this puzzle without seeing it put together, connecting pieces blindly until they started to form a complete picture.

Pull yourself together and quit daydreaming! You are Apple Faerie Cookie right now. A voice in her head reprimanded her, it sounded suspiciously like the beast of deceit. She focused on the now at last, they had stopped at a diner for food since Agave had been giving them a tour for hours. Grapevine had offered to pay since he was the eldest in the group, but she declined. Apparently he didn't have the proper currency anyway.

She's so nice, I would've let him embarrass himself. Just thinking about it brings a smile to my face. Candy Apple thought. “I hope you two enjoy the food! I often come here after training since I'm not the greatest cook, and I feel bad making my brother cook for me aha.” She filed that bit of information away, Agave has a brother, likely older since she eluded to him cooking often.

“You have a brother too?” Apple Faerie inquired once she swallowed her food. It was impolite to talk with food in your mouth!

“Yep! His name is Sisal Cookie, his hair is spiky like mine but he doesn't bother putting it up.” She elaborated, describing his appearance in case they ever ran into him. “He might look intimidating at first glance but he's a push over.” She whispered like it was hot gossip.

“Our father is much the same, his neutral expression looks far too similar to a glare to most cookies.” Grapevine interjected. “But he's got a heart of gold, I mean, he's the one that found us and took us in.” Black Sapphire had definitely looked over their disguise back story too many times to count before this mission, it'd be embarrassing if he forgot such important details.

“Oh, really? He sounds like a kind man, if you two ever want to bring him with you I'm sure the knights would understand. Fair warning he might get some…” Agave looked uncomfortable as she pushed the plate on her food around. Her fork scraped slightly against the plate. “Looks? I don't care about outsiders much, but some people around here… dislike non-faeries. To put it lightly. So I'd keep to his side to avoid any issues. If they see he's with faeries? Then they'll leave him be.”

“Thank you for informing us, he probably won’t be able to join us any time soon but if he does then we’ll know what to do.” Grapevine’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. If our disguises were any worse, would Silverbell Cookie have embedded that arrow in his head? Would he even consider sparing me because I look younger, or would he kill without question? She decided not to dwell on it. She hadn’t realized how much she’d warmed up to the color green throughout their trip so far.

Chapter Text

The sun was low in the sky when Pure Vanilla and Condensed Milk parted ways. Shadow Milk was just thankful the man didn't suggest something ludicrous like a sleepover. “Milkcrown is probably putting Lil’ Blue to bed right about now, I think I'll be joining him in slumber town soon enough.” In reality, Shadow Milk was too exhausted to conjure their illusions for no good reason.

“I'd better head to bed too, otherwise Oatmeal will notice my eye bags.” He chuckled into his hand. “Then they'll nag me about sleeping for so long I start to nod off.”

“Hah! Milkcrown does me the same way, younger siblings tend to worry like that.” Condensed Cream let out a hearty chuckle at the imagery. “G'night Vanilla, cya around!” He casually threw a wave over his shoulder before disappearing into the brush.

“G-goodnight to you too!” The blonde stumbled over his words briefly at the nickname. 

Shadow Milk wanted to claw at literally anything. The tips of his fingers burned, he swore he could feel his claws under his skin. Could feel them crushing bone as they remained retracted. Even though he knew better, it didn't stop him from scratching his arms to rid himself of the itch beneath his nails. The motion was repetitive, up and down his nails glided across dough. He could barely feel it. Not for lack of trying, but for lack of strong pain receptors in his current body.

Dark Enchantress Cookie lost her budget for these things half way through. He thought bitterly, but before his thoughts could spiral he felt a prick of pain. He looked down, and saw his hands. Not Condensed Milk's hands, Shadow Milk's. His spindly fingers with dark claws adorning each tip. It was disconcerting in comparison to Condensed Milk's strong forearms.

“What…what in witches' names is going on?” He shouldn't have had enough power to turn any part of himself back, but his eyes were the only thing that never deceived him. He didn't pay the jam seeping out of his arm much mind, gaze fixed on his hands. Maybe he could get out of this wretched place sooner than he thought, a small smile tugged at his lips. He could go back to Beast Yeast and see his minions. They're probably lost without my guidance! I'll be sure to praise them for surviving without me when I return.

He was so giddy he didn't even realize how long he stood there staring at his hands with a manic grin. Thankfully he wasn't where any passersby could see him, otherwise he's certain he'd be sent to an insane asylum. They stopped funding those eons ago. His mind supplied as he shifted into his cat form. There are still places where the mentally unwell are treated, mostly known as psychiatric hospitals. They are under much stricter supervision than ‘insane asylums’ and therefore much safer.

He wanted to shut his brain off, but unfortunately there wasn't any kind of switch for that. He would know, considering he knew just about everything. The only exceptions lay after his imprisonment, but he was a fast learner. Spreading misinformation online was one of his favorite pastimes! Oh, how easy Twizzler was to ragebait.

He trailed a bit farther behind Pure Vanilla Cookie this time around, not keen on being spotted again. The man looked back only once on his walk, but Shadow Milk quickly darted behind a bush before he could be spotted. Shadow Milk 1 Pure Vanilla 0. (Unless you counted last time where he did get spotted. Then it would be 1-1. Too neck and neck for his tastes.) He could peacefully let his pawed feet pad along the walkway this time, no being scooped up unexpectedly. The noise his longer than average claws made on the pavement helped calm his mind, let him take in the night.

He missed this. Not being a cat, but being able to walk freely. Sure he'd much rather be floating right about now with the way his legs shook from this overexertion, but he was technically free. No one would suspect a cat of anything. He could run around the kingdom to his heart's content!

But that's just it, he could only run around the kingdom. It was too far in the air for him to get back to the ground, and even if he did where would he go? He couldn't cross the Licorice Sea as a measly fur ball. And what if he used too much magic by encountering a foe? Would he turn back into a doll, trapped in the middle of nowhere?

Unfortunately staying with Pure Vanilla was his best bet at the moment. He hated it, really. He had no way to contact his minions, mail was off the table since the spire didn't exactly have an address. Magic? Too far to transmit a message, especially in his state. He sighed as well as a cat could, sounding more like a hiss.

He didn't want to admit it, but he missed them. He missed his winding hallways with stairs that went nowhere, and the unnecessarily precarious ledges strewn about. He hated that he missed them, too.

He wondered if Candy and Black Sapphire missed him.

Of course they did! Why…why should he think otherwise? Last time he was sealed they were miserable without him! Miserable! Being in the Vanilla Kingdom was simply having adverse side effects on him. That's all. Psh, thinking his minions didn't need him? What a load of baloney! He'd sooner lose his head.

He focused on the feeling of path under his paws, ignoring how sore his ankles were. That was another thing, this body was not up to code. First of all, his pain receptors are weak. Second of all, his legs liked to give out on him far too often! It's why he floated most everywhere.

When Pure Vanilla entered the castle, Shadow Milk shakily made his way to the side. He had to hope the window was open, he couldn't remember. The wall looked down on him like he was a bug, and his legs protested at the sight. Ugh, shut up! It's either we scale the wall, or we stay out in the cold.

He willed his feet to take him to the wall, and he climbed. It burned his claws as he scrambled for any kind of purchase, but he made it. He ached everywhere he could name, but he was there.

He slithered up to the bed, stretching before returning to his plush prison. It was like being dragged away from home, kicking and screaming. He hated it here.

Oatmeal was sick and tired of Pure Vanilla. That's not to say they disliked him, far from it, but he was a handful.

“You look like you got hit by a train.” Their monotone drawl startled him into awareness. “Did you sleep at all last night?” They pried, a frown tugging at their lip.

“Ah, admittedly I didn't sleep too well, no…” Then why are you out and about so early? They wanted to ask, but refrained. They had done this song and dance enough times to know that he would take the topic change and run.

“Do you want coffee?” Usually they didn't offer any to him, but he looked like he needed it. “Again, you look like you got hit by a train.”

“That would be lovely, thank you.” He sent them a gracious smile while they got the machine ready. “So, how have you…been?” The dreaded question.

“Fine.” Their tone was carefully clipped. “You?”

“Oatmeal…” He sounded sad. “I see you everyday but you don't. You don't talk to me anymore.” They placed his mug in front of him, eyebrows furrowed.

“We're talking right now, aren’t we?” They didn't understand the issue. They talked to him almost everyday, what was the problem?

“You know that's not quite what I meant.” He huffed fondly. “I mean that you haven't opened up to me since that breakup.” Ah. Right. That whole ordeal.

“I haven't been thinking about it if I'm honest. Feels like forever ago.” They made their body language appear more open so he knew it was the truth. “I've been a bit preoccupied.”

“Oh?” He leaned on his hand, elbow propped on the table. “Do tell.” Gossip. They shook their head.

“No one-” It was too late to correct themselves.

“So it's a cookie talking over your thoughts. I wonder who…” Pure Vanilla trailed off, thinking. Oatmeal didn't want to give him enough time to figure it out. I mean, they only really spoke to him and the one who's been running through their head.

“Nothing. I misspoke.” They knew the correction was in vain before the syllables formed on their lips. “Besides, our days of village gossip are over.” He raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing them in the slightest.

“You've lent me your ear on far too many occasions to count, let me lend you mine for once.” He was right. They were always a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen.

“I'm not as secretive about it as I wish I was.” They started, because it was true. Their fleeting glances, and gift giving were clear signs of their affections. It was like a big red arrow, pointing to them. To her. “I fell for her when she brought me coffee. It had been a long week, and she saw how exhausted I was. So she made me coffee, and brought it here.”

Pure Vanilla's mouth formed into an o. “You mean-?” Realization dawned on him. “You've got a crush on Wafflecone Cookie?!” He planted both hands on the counter. “And you didn't tell me sooner?!” 

Oatmeal blinked. “Did you…really not notice?” They thought they were obvious.

“No! If I had, I would've asked you about it before making assumptions." He sagged, leaning on one hand again. “Oh dear…maybe I'm not the best at picking up signals.”

“You're just now figuring that out?” They deadpanned. “You've been bad at social cues since I met you. I mean, you thought I was being serious when I asked if you'd have to cut my arm off for a little cut.”

“That's not fair, your tone doesn't change! I can never tell when you're being sarcastic.” He took a sad sip of coffee, brightening up at the taste. “Oh wow, this is delicious!”

Oatmeal let a smile overcome their expression. “Thank you, it's my own recipe. Should keep you awake, but not hyper.” They'd had that problem with coffee for a long time, which made them perfect the recipe. They were thankful for their co-worker’s help with that, he was always better at drinks than them.

“Witches know I don't need too much caffeine.” He held the mug in both hands, savoring the warmth it provided. “How much do I owe you?” Oatmeal opened their mouth to reply, but he cut them off. “And don't say it's on the house.”

“Took the words right from under me.” They smirked. “You know me too well.”

“I've known you since I came to the village, Oat.” He did. They couldn't remember a time before him, a time before Healer Cookie. The cool calm and collected healer than arrived to their little village without a clue who he was. Sometimes they felt like they didn't know the man in front of them, the difference between Healer and Pure Vanilla was too stark to ignore. “Back to the topic at hand, you like Wafflecone Cookie.”

They nodded. “Yes, this is true.”

“...”

“...”

“Are you…gonna do anything about it?” He pried. They stared at him like he had two heads.

“Are you crazy? She doesn't- she doesn't like me like that.” The room lapsed into silence. It was uncomfortable, uncanny. Then he started giggling.

“Sorry, sorry! Its just, Wafflecone Cookie probably likes you too. Even if she doesn't, she wouldn't let something like that ruin your friendship.”

“Still, I don't want to risk it.” They picked at the hem of their apron. “I mean, out of every one why would she choose me? I know her fiancé was arranged but…”

“Trust me.” He put a hand over theirs, a reassuring smile on his face. “It'll be alright.”

Chapter Text

Wafflecone missed Oatmeal. It wasn't a rare occurrence, it happened whenever they weren't in her general vicinity. But she still sighed loudly enough for her sister to finally give up on ignoring her woes.

“What is it this time?” Pancake Syrup asked, a furrow in her brow. She shut her book with a snap that permeated the air.

“Ughhh I miss my baker.” Wafflecone hadn't outright name dropped yet, mostly afraid her sister would give Oatmeal the shovel talk. Well, not really a shovel talk. More like a my-sister-is-arranged-to-marry-my-partner-you-should-be-aware-of-that talk. It wasn't like Wafflecone disliked the guy, far from it! He was nice, but she saw him more as a brother in law considering he was madly in love with her sister. She also wasn't exactly fond of men.

“Really? Didn't you see them just yesterday?" Pancake Syrup questioned, squinting. “Unless they were out sick.”

“No, no, I saw them yesterday…but it's been 24 hours since then!” She dramatically flopped onto the far too fancy couch next to her twin. “Plus it's our meet-aversary! I have to give them their gift!” She belatedly remembered, perking up as she now had an excuse to visit the Crow's Nest.

“Meet-aversary?” She deadpanned. “That's the best you could come up with? Also, why do you remember the exact day-?”

“I've gotta go bye!” Wafflecone rushed to her room, grabbing a neatly wrapped present from under her bed before bolting down the hall and out the door. She almost ran into a few faculty, but she made it out without any casualties.

She brushed off the front of her dress, straightening it out before beginning her walk to the Crow's Nest. She knew, logically, that Oatmeal worked every day of the week. But what if they weren't there? Or, what if they hated the gift? Called her weird for remembering the day they met?

Get out of your own head Wafflecone! She berated herself. Oatmeal is your friend first and foremost, if they don't like the gift they aren't going to be mean about it. They'll appreciate the thought, at least. The chance that Oatmeal hated the gift was there, but it was smaller than the chance they liked it. Loved it, even! It had thought behind it. Everyone liked gifts that were thoughtful, right? Right.

When she finally hyped herself up, she looked up, spotting the inn. She felt her heart beat just a twinge faster, jam tingling in her dough. She could do this!

She took a deep breath in through her nose, and let it out through her mouth before opening the door. She almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of the bell tingling above her head, but refrained. “Just a minute!” She heard a familiar voice call from the kitchen. It wasn't sweet to most, sounding monotone and ticked off at the same time, but it was to Wafflecone. Because it belonged to Oatmeal.

Oatmeal, the cookie that looked at Wafflecone and saw her. Truly looked at her as her own person instead of an extension of her fiance or twin sister. Didn't find her uncouth like nobles did.

“Oh, Wafflecone.” Their prior frown turned into a small smile at the sight of her, it reached their eyes. “I almost thought you weren't coming today, the usual?”

“Ah, yes please!” She beamed, not concealing her joy in the slightest. I should give them the gift when they come back. She thought as Oatmeal retreated.

Shadow Milk's legs trembled as he walked in heels. Pure Vanilla had gone to some stupid meeting, leaving him to roam free. He had been craving raisin buns, so raisin buns it was. But he could have some fun on the way there, right? Well, Milkcrown could have some fun.

She noticed a man staring at her openly, and she glared at him. When he wiggled his eyebrows, her face contorted into a wolf's. No one else reacted as he jumped five feet in the air, nor when he turned tail and ran. She snickered into her hand, hiding a cruel smirk.

Too easy. Maybe I can steal something for the baker and their situationship. She hummed, swinging her basket as she walked with a pep in her step. She saw a glint of silver in her peripheral. Oh?

She turned her head, pausing in front of a jewelry stand. It was a different one from the one Condensed Milk bought her hair clip from. At the reminder, she ran a hand over it. “Young lady! Is there anything I can do for you?” The woman's voice had the fakest cheer Milkcrown had heard.

“Oh, I'm simply browsing! I wanted to get something for my partner's sibling and their girlfriend.” The lie easily escaped her lips. “Do you have any recommendations?” The woman's expression barely held together at the gender neutral language.

“Ah…of course! I have quite a few items for young couples.” Her tone was much more forced, now. “Matching lockets, bracelets, even rings!” She held up each item in turn. “Anything pique your interest?"

“Those lockets are just the cutest things!” She carefully took them from the seller, holding them up to her eyeline. One was silver, the other gold. Both were heart shaped. Cliché, but if it ain't broke don't fix it. “How much?”

The woman smirked as she rattled off an absurd price. Milkcrown could tell she was trying to take advantage of how naive she looked. “Oh, it seems I'm just short…” She feigned disappointment as she looked through her basket.

“Well, since it's a gift I can give you a small discount!” The woman's glee sounded real, but that was because she thought Milkcrown fell for her scam. Even the reduced amount was far more than it should've been!

“Thank you so much! I'm sure they'll love them.” She placed a bag of coins on the table, keeping the necklaces in her hands instead of her basket lest they tangle.

(If that merchant tried to buy anything with those, she'd soon find out they were chocolate coins.)

She hummed softly to herself as she continued her walk through the plaza. It wasn't nearly as lively as when he was Condensed Milk. Maybe it was because Pure Vanilla had been trailing him like a lost puppy the whole time. Eugh. Don't think of that right now, wrong disguise!

Her eye caught on something else, a gummy fish plushie. It was blue, the best color, and would be a hilarious gift for Pure Vanilla. It's so tacky, he's sure to hate it! Obviously he would either wait until he saw the cookie as Condensed Milk, or just say it was from Condensed Milk. The aquarium simply inspired such a…gift.

“How much for this little cutie?” She held up the stuffed animal by the tail. The seller beamed as she relayed the price, hm. Fair, seems handmade. She placed a bag of coins in front of the cookie.

“Thank you! Come again!” Her cheer was real, palpable. Made the air thick. It was sickening. (The coins weren't chocolate this time.)

Soon the inn came into sight and she let herself smile. The smell of freshly baked goods seeped under the door, and she sighed. Delicious raisin buns here I come.

The bell chimed as she entered, and not a moment later a voice called her name. “Oh, Milkcrown Cookie! Over here!” Glancing over proved the source to be Wafflecone Cookie.

“Hello, I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon. We've got to stop running into each other like this!” Milkcrown laughed lightly into her hand as she slid into the spot across from her. “I'm glad though, on my way here I saw these necklaces that reminded me of you and Oatmeal Cookie.” She placed them delicately onto the table.

“Oh my witches! They're so gorgeous…” She held up the silver one to the light with a beaming expression. She gently grabbed the gold one and put it on, smiling at it. “Thank you so much! How much do I owe you?”

“Don't mention it, it's a gift for my friends.” She reassured. “Though I wouldn't object to a raisin bun…” They both giggled into their hands.

“Alright then, I'll be sure to ask for another one.” Wafflecone grinned. They were interrupted by a plate being placed between them. “Oatmeal!”

Milkcrown looked over, and immediately noticed the new apron that hung from their dress. It was similar to the last one, but had embroidered details. Clearly done by an amateur hand, but the care was still plain as day. “I heard you come in, so I added an extra raisin bun. On the house.”

“Are you sure? I can pay for it!” Wafflecone fretted. “Its no trouble, honest.” This is like if Pure Vanilla met himself. They both reek of his kindness.

“I can settle this debate,” Milkcrown interrupted. “Here, a gift from me to you.” She handed the baker their necklace. “That should cover it, right? Now we needn't argue!”

They looked at the necklace in stunned silence. After what felt like an eternity, they put it on with a soft expression. “Thank you.”

“We match now!” Wafflecone piped up, holding her locket up with a grin. “Maybe we could get tiny photos to put inside, wouldn't that be neat?”

“No need, I'm two steps ahead.” Milkcrown smirked as they opened the lockets, finding a picture of them together in both. Shadow Milk had used some magic, so what! Maybe if he gained their trust he could turn them against Pure Vanilla.

“Awh! These are so cute, thank you so so so much Milkcrown Cookie!” Wafflecone pulled the shorter into a hug. “Oh, where did you even get the pictures?”

“I have my sources…” Milkcrown winked. “I'm just glad you like them. It's the least I can do, since you've both been so kind”

“...thank you again, Milkcrown Cookie. You didn't have to, yet you did.” Oatmeal finally interjected. “Kindess isn't currency, so there was no need to repay us.”

“Still, I saw them in the market and thought of you two. And I had some coins to spare.” It was weird, to be held in high regard by anyone other than his minions. The last time that happened was probably long before he fell.

The bell chiming interrupted them, Milkcrown glanced back and had to stop a scowl from making itself known. What in witches’ names is he doing here? A second set of footsteps, and he brought his loyal guard dog too. Great.

“Welcome to the Crow's Nest. What can I get for you?” Oatmeal turned to him, voice monotone as ever. Milkcrown couldn't get a read on them.

“What would you recommend? I'm afraid this is our first time visiting your quaint inn.” Clotted Cream Cookie. He sounds even more condescending than I remember!

“The raisin buns are our specialty, I'd recommend a glass of milk alongside them.” They lead Clotted Cream and Financiar to the counter. Financiar's eyes scanned the room for threats, lingering on Milkcrown. Only for a moment, as she moved on to looking for escape routes.

Why are they all the way out in the Vanilla Kingdom? Then he remembered, that stupid meeting! He hadn't bothered to pay attention at the time, but Pure Vanilla had been yammering away about his ‘important meeting’ all morning. It was why Shadow Milk was able to sneak out in the first place! Ugh. It always leads back to the thief, doesn't it?

“Then I'd like to order two raisin buns with two glasses of milk, if you will.” ‘If you will’ literally shut UP. Oh my witches he's so annoying. Shadow Milk had to tear his eyes from the scene, focusing instead on his own meal. He wasn't going to let them ruin his outing!

Milkcrown took a bite of her raisin bun, sighing at the heavenly taste. “These always hit the spot, I don't think I can ever move again!” I'll miss this when I return to the spire. Not enough to stay, though.

“I know right?!” Wafflecone took a drink of her milk, “I've never dreamt of food before this place opened up. But now if I go for too long without visiting? They visit me in my sleep.”

Milkcrown snorted into her hand, “that sounds awful!” She snickered, and Wafflecone soon joined her.

Chapter Text

Shadow Milk had been out for too long. He realized when the light no longer irritated his eyes, and Wafflecone's voice quieted. “It's getting late, isn't it?” Milkcrown hummed. “I must apologize for keeping you so long, but unfortunately I have to return home for the night.”

“Oh Witches, Pancake Syrup's gonna lecture me if I don't hurry!” It would seem she didn't notice how long they'd been talking either. “I'd walk you home, but…” She trailed off, biting her finger.

“No, no, don't worry! I live close enough to make it on my own.” Milkcrown placated the other, who stopped biting her nail.

“Alright, if you're sure.” She stood up, and cupped her hands around her mouth. “I'm headed out, Oatmeal!” Said cookie exited the back, brushing their hands off on their apron. Wafflecone gave them a hug, I would not want to be on the receiving end of that. Looks like she wants to pop them.

“Goodnight, stay safe on your way home.” Oatmeal sounded as tired as they looked for once. “See you soon.”

“Sweet dreams! Try not to miss me too much, okay?” And then there were two.

“You walking home alone?” They asked bluntly. If it were anyone else, it would sound invasive. Milkcrown knew they were just concerned.

“Yeah, it isn't too far. Plus since it's so late my brother will likely be out waiting for me anyhow.” She smiled reassuringly. “And what about you?”

“I usually walk home with Black Raisin or Trail-mix.” Isn't he the innkeeper? “If I don't leave by a certain time, her crows tell her I want her to walk me home.”

“Trail-mix Cookie?” Milkcrown asked with an innocent tilt of her head. “I'm not sure we've been acquainted.”

“He's the innkeep, a recluse. Stays in the back most of the time.” They huffed, “he left already, so I'm just waiting for Black Raisin.” They mumbled something about him being a backstabber.

“I see, you'd think an innkeeper would be extroverted. Owning a place that houses people.” Milkcrown stood as she spoke, barely hiding the wince as her feet met the floor. Heels are never a good idea, but Milkcrown isn't herself without them. Ugh. The things I do for continuity's sake! Shadow Milk complained internally as his legs threatened to shake.

“You'd think.” Oatmeal agreed with a huff. “I'll see you around, then?”

“See you around! Hopefully sooner than later, stay safe!” The bell punctuated her sentence, giving her pause. “Oh! You must be Black Raisin Cookie. A pleasure to meet you. My name is Milkcrown.” She bowed her head slightly, hands folded in front of her politely.

“Hm. Oatmeal and Pure Vanilla have mentioned you before, the pleasures all mine.” She smiled slightly, holding out her hand to shake. Shadow Milk could feel the bird on her shoulder staring through him, but that was normal for crows. Maybe he should add them to his ensemble of animals.

“Oh dear, all good things I'd hope!” She covered her mouth with her free hand as she laughed airily.

“I don't think Pure Vanilla of all cookies could bad mouth anyone if he tried. And I only tell the truth.” Oatmeal interjected, arms crossed. They looked like the spitting image of Black Raisin, but somehow even broodier. 

“I wouldn't want to meet a cookie Pure Vanilla could find it within himself to speak badly of.” She snorted, the bird on her shoulder cawing in what sounded like a laugh. “It's getting late, though, you got an escort?” They mirror each other like twins.

“Ah, no, I'm walking on my own. I live close enough. Plus my brother's probably waiting for me outside.” He was just glad Oatmeal hadn't called out the fact that last time Milkcrown stayed so late she had Pure Vanilla to walk her. If they ask, I was just indulging him.

“Hm. If you're sure.” The woman relented, likely too tired to argue. “Just be vigilant, doesn't matter how safe you think you are.”

“Alright, I'll keep both eyes peeled.” She exited first, Oatmeal going last to lock up behind them. “Well, goodnight you two!”

They both nodded at her, “Stay out of trouble.” Oatmeal waved over their shoulder.

He let his smile drop once they were out of sight, ducking into an alley to turn into an animal. Being around Black Raisin's crows gave him an idea. Maybe something with wings this time, I do hate climbing that wall…I should have enough power for that.

No one batted an eye at the scraggly bluebird that flew over top their heads, too focused on getting home. Oh, how I missed flying. Looking down on cookies like ants is a pass time I'd like to indulge myself in more often. He thought to himself as he looked down.

“Blue! You're going to hurt yourself!” Sugar fretted from beside him, wings keeping her afloat. He tweeted back at her. He wanted to try flying with wings like his fellow virtue, writing about wings was easier when you experienced having them. He could write so many papers about the function of bluebird wings now! Just thinking about it made him excited.

“You've had your fun, now turn back before you give me a heart attack!” She fretted, and he begrudgingly obliged.

As soon as his feet hit the ground he started talking. “That was a fascinating experiment! I hadn't even considered the fact that when I went to move my arms, my wings would move instead!” He brushed himself off, fixing his glasses. "Thank you for helping me today Sugar, I couldn't have done this without your help.” He beamed at her, barely containing his excitement. He spoke with his hands, the rapid movement being followed by her eyes lazily.

“You could've and you would've, you'd just be escaping with far more cuts and bruises” She huffed fondly, “you really need to be less hard on yourself. Always thinking of new hypotheses to test out, then write papers on, then look for something else to study. It's exhausting to even think about.”

He looked sheepish, “I don't mean to worry you, honest! I like doing research. It's what I was baked for!” He sighed, wringing his hand out. “But…I can see what it looks like from an outside perspective. I'll be sure to implement more rest between my research papers.” He relented.

“Thank you. How about you come rest in my garden, I'm sure it'll help clear your head.” She smirked. “With too much running around in there your papers won't flow right!” She covered the lower half of her face as she giggled.

“Ach, you know just how to get me. We hang out too much.” He playfully elbowed her, she retaliated by smacking him with a wing. “I'll go, if only to satiate you.”

“Finally! There's this new fountain we installed and I've been dying to show you-”

The memory cut off as the castle came into view far quicker than anticipated. Stupid memories. He internally berated himself for reminiscing.

The open window was calling his name, the comforts of a bed beckoning him. He hadn't seen Pure Vanilla in a few hours, and for that he was thankful. But all good things must come to an end.

“Oh no no no, witches, where did I put you?” The frantic mumbling was none other than his soul jam thief. Shadow Milk felt his stomach drop. Pure Vanilla got back to the room before him. He saw the plush was missing.

He hovered outside the window, mind going a million miles a second. What should he, no could he do? Turn tail and flee? He couldn't fly all the way to Beast Yeast. He'd collapse far before he got over the Licorice Sea! He had to think, think Shadow Milk, think! 

He could always try to sneak in? Pure Vanilla's sight was predictable, as long as he avoided the staff's eye he would be fine.

We can fix this, yeah, we can totally fix this!

Shadow Milk waited until his staff faced the opposite direction before perching on the window, then turning into the smallest snake he could conjure to slither under the bed. Once he was sheltered from unwanted eyes, he returned to his plush body. Being out of it for so long made it worse. It felt like cramming himself into a steel box, cold and claustrophobic. You'd think he couldn't feel cold as an inanimate object, he thought so too until it happened for the first time. He willed away the memory that threatened to surface, one was too much, I can't do that again.

He would've taken a deep breath to calm himself if he had lungs, but he was glad he didn't as a large eye appeared in his peripheral vision. It was far eerier up close. It felt like it had a mind of its own, but who was he to ask? He wasn't a botanist. (A lie, told to himself. He knew everything about every flower that cursed Earthbread. Pure Vanilla's staff wasn't alive, flowers couldn't survive so long without water. Its behaviors are solely to benefit the host.)

“There you are!” He was carefully scooped up by the panicked man. “I swore I checked under the bed…” he trailed off. “I'm just glad I looked again.” He was hugged tightly to his chest, don't pop my head off you idiot! Pure Vanilla stood there for what felt like forever just…holding him. His hold slowly loosened as his breath evened. It felt like time was at a stand still, Shadow Milk wanted to crawl out of his skin. He simultaneously wanted to stay, leach off of Pure Vanilla's radiating warmth. He wasn't cold anymore.

When the cookie finally went to sleep, he held the doll tightly to himself. As if afraid it would be snatched away at any moment. Or maybe he thinks I'll get up and walk away. It was a valid concern, but he didn't know that!

It was easy to slip into the dream world, like pulling a blanket over yourself. Warmth tingled his dough as he floated, taking in his surroundings. He wanted to back out as soon as he opened the door to a library. “A library? Really? Eugh.” He mumbled as he reached for the dream's host. If the man wasn't here, the dream wouldn't have put him there.

He peeked around the corner of a bookshelf to see Pure Vanilla sitting comfortably in a nook. He had his staff set aside, and a book in his lap as he felt the pages. None of that book's gonna make sense in the morning. He thought as the cover flickered from ‘101 Ways to Compliment a Cookie’ to ‘Sewing Rips, a Thorough Guide’. He didn't want to think about the implications of the second one.

“Oh, Shadow Milk!” His face turned in the jesters general vicinity, his eyes opened and looked through him. “I wasn't expecting to see you here, my dear.”

“Acting awfully familiar now, are we?” Why can't he ever start a fight with me instead of whatever this is?! He would leave if he could, but alas. The host had to wake up first. “What are you doing in such a drab place anyhow? Got bored of the sheep at long last?”

“Oh no, never.” He huffed in amusement. “I'm simply taking a break from my duties, I've heard reading quiets the mind.”

“Whoever told you that is a bold faced liar!” Shadow Milk crossed his arms indignantly, “I mean. You're literally filling your head with words! Obviously it's not gonna ‘quiet your mind’ eugh.” He made finger quotes in the air before sighing loudly. “You're the most boring cookie I've had the displeasure of meeting."

“And you're the most eccentric cookie I've had the pleasure of meeting.” Pure Vanilla snorted into his hand at the beast's expression of disgust.

“You're such a…a sap!” He stumbled over his words, much to his humiliation. To curb the embarrassment brewing in his jam, he flicked a hand to change the book in the other cookie's lap. There, a much better volume!

He paused his reading, moving his hand back to start again but being met with the same result. “Did you…switch my book out?” He sounded like he was biting back a laugh.

“The audacity!” He gasped dramatically, he would be clutching his pearls if he had any. “Accusing little ‘ol me of such a crime…” He could barely keep the mirth from his voice.

“My sincerest apologies, but it would seem my book has changed and you're the only cookie around.” He played along, clearly aware of the culprit, but humoring the jester anyway.

“Well, what other evidence do you have! No witnesses, no prints, nothing to convict me good sir.” He looked at his nails as if unbothered.

“Hm. Maybe the book's title will help me solve this mystery?” He felt the cover, fingers running across the brail underneath the title text. “‘The Most Handsome Cookie in All of Earthbread, an Autobiography by a Beast’ I wonder who could've put this in place of my other reading?”

“Yeah. I wonder.” Shadow Milk couldn't contain his manic giggling any longer as it bubbled to the surface.

“I suppose I'll have to turn back to page one if I want to understand the context of the page I've landed on.” Pure Vanilla closed the book, “but I'll save that for later.” He stood, grabbing his staff.

“You'd better read that later,” he said knowing well the man couldn't, “what's more important anyway?"

“You.” He swore his heart stopped beating for a moment as the man took his hand. “It's been too long since we last met, so I'm afraid you come before any ‘stuffy old books’ as you like to call them.”

The rest of the dream went by far to fast as they walked the never ending library together before Pure Vanilla woke up.