Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cale Henituse woke up with a headache. That was the first sign that something was wrong.

The second was the unfamiliar ceiling above him.

He slowly sat up, groaning as he rubbed his temples. He felt... smaller? Lighter? His usual fatigue wasn’t weighing him down as much. That was suspicious. Blinking away the lingering grogginess, he finally took in his surroundings.

This was not his room in the Henituse estate.

The walls were a soft cream color, and the furniture looked sleek and modern. A wide window let in a ridiculous amount of sunlight, nearly blinding him. He scowled. This was definitely not Roan Kingdom.

Then, the memories hit him.

The God of Death. The so-called "compensation." A peaceful, lazy life.

Cale’s eye twitched. "That damn god lied to me again, didn’t he?"

Before he could process the situation further, a knock echoed through the room. A moment later, the door swung open.

"Young Master Cale! It’s time for school!"

School?

Cale groaned and flopped back onto the bed. This vacation was already a nightmare.

***

On his bedside table, there was a paper detailing his current identity in their world.

His name was still the same. His family in this place were British-German, they specialized in military power, gold and diamond mines, and other successful businesses.

“Does that mean…” He could practically see it. “I’m still rich in this world!?”

His eyes gleamed for a moment before he slumped back against the pillows. That was good. Very good. Then, his eyes went to another detail that made him drop to his knees.

[You are currently fifteen years old! So I enrolled you to the Ouran Elite Private Academy located in Bunkyō, Tokyo, Japan. The school is attended primarily by children of the rich and famous (e.g. children of prominent families, business magnates, politicians, celebrities, etc.). Have fun~!]

“YOU SON OF A BITCH OF A GOD!”

***

He got scammed.

He, Cale Henituse, got scammed by the fucker God of Death.

He was groaning and moaning about his peaceful slacker life as the limo(a fucking limo!) drove him to the Academy.

He got scammed.

He, Cale Henituse, got scammed by the fucker God of Death.

He was groaning and moaning about his peaceful slacker life as the limo (a fucking limo!) drove him to the Academy.

The car was ridiculously luxurious. The seats were plush, the ride smooth, and there was even a minibar stocked with premium snacks and drinks. The driver, an older gentleman in a sharp suit, spoke politely to him.

"Young Master, we will be arriving at Ouran Academy shortly. Your uniform and schedule are in the briefcase beside you."

Cale sighed and opened the briefcase. Inside was a boys uniform. It was a straight black trousers and a pale blue blazer, under which is worn a long or short-sleeved white shirt and black Windsor-knotted silk tie, accented by a narrow purple band running vertically down its center length. An Ouran Academy seal is sewn onto the left breast.  Black socks and loafers complete the uniform. His eye twitched.

He was going to be wearing that?

He groaned and leaned his head against the cool window, watching as Tokyo’s cityscape passed by. It was overwhelming—so different from anything he’d ever known. But one thing remained the same.

A rich life meant he could be lazy. He just had to figure out how.

"Fine. Let’s get this over with," he muttered.

The limo pulled up to the gates of Ouran Academy, and Cale stepped out, ready to face whatever fresh hell awaited him.

Chapter Text

As the limo rolled through the city streets, Cale stared blankly out the window, wondering how his life had come to this. A prestigious school full of rich heirs meant two things: potential trouble and, more importantly, unnecessary social interactions.

He shuddered.

The driver pulled up to an absurdly extravagant campus, complete with golden gates and an entrance that looked more like a palace than a school. Students walked leisurely across the grounds, some chatting, others basking in the sunlight like they had nothing better to do.

Cale sighed. "This is going to be exhausting."

A well-dressed butler—his butler, apparently—opened the door for him. "Young Master, we've arrived."

Cale stepped out reluctantly, barely taking a few steps before he heard whispers.

"Who is that?"

"Another transfer student?"

"He looks... distinguished."

Cale ignored them all. He just needed to figure out how to navigate this place while doing as little as possible. Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

"Ah! A new face!"

A voice—dramatic, loud, and painfully enthusiastic—rang out from the grand entrance of the school. Before Cale could turn to escape, a blond blur rushed toward him.

"Welcome, my dear unfortunate lost lamb! I, Tamaki Suoh, shall take you under my wing!"

Cale stared blankly at the golden-haired idiot draping himself over him.

Oh.

He was doomed.

***

He sighed in relief as he stepped into the classroom, taking in the luxurious setting. The desks were polished to perfection, the windows were enormous, and the atmosphere screamed wealth.

Cale ignored the curious glances from his classmates and made his way to an empty seat by the window. He sat down, rested his chin on his hand, and stared outside, already planning how to minimize his involvement in school activities.

Unfortunately, peace was short-lived.

"Hey, new guy!"

A voice called out from beside him. Cale turned his head slightly to see a pair of identical auburn-haired boys grinning at him.

"You’re the transfer student, right?"

"You’re interesting. What’s your name?"

Cale blinked. Twins. That was never a good sign.

He sighed. "Cale."

The twins exchanged glances before smirking.

"Just Cale, huh?"

"I feel like we’ve seen you somewhere before."

Cale frowned. That was unlikely.

Before he could shut down the conversation, a teacher walked in, sparing him from further questioning. He let out a breath of relief as the class began, but something told him that those twins wouldn’t be letting him off that easily.

And judging by the blond idiot he had met earlier, this school was going to be a headache.

***

The class started smoothly, or at least as smoothly as it could in an elite private school filled with rich heirs. Cale tried to tune out the chatter around him and focus on the lesson, but it was proving difficult.  

For one, the twins—who introduced themselves as Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin—kept glancing his way with mischievous expressions. Cale ignored them. He had long since perfected the art of looking unapproachable.  

It didn’t work.  

"Hey, Cale." Hikaru leaned in slightly. "You’re not really paying attention, huh?"  

"Yeah, you look pretty bored," Kaoru added. "Do you already know all this stuff?"  

Cale gave them a blank look. "I’m paying attention just fine."  

The twins smirked. "Oh? Then what did the teacher just say?"  

Cale’s eyes flickered to the front of the room, where the teacher was writing something on the board.  

" The economic influence of Japan’s Zaibatsu system during the Meiji era contributed to the industrial modernization of the country. However, due to post-war reforms—specifically the dissolution of the Zaibatsu by Allied occupation policies—the structure evolved into the current Keiretsu model, which... "  

Cale lazily repeated the entire explanation word-for-word.  

The twins stared.  

Some of their classmates also turned to look at him.  

Cale sighed. He had not intended to draw attention. He was so gonna burn and loot all of the temples of that bastard God.

Hikaru and Kaoru exchanged looks before grinning. "Oho? You’re pretty smart, huh?"  

Cale frowned. He did not like that tone.  

From the other side of the room, a girl whispered, "Isn’t he kind of cool?"  

Another voice murmured, "He has that mysterious vibe..."  

Cale resisted the urge to groan. He hadn’t even done anything!  

At that moment, the door suddenly slid open with dramatic flair.  

"Cale Henituse!"  

Cale’s eye twitched as a golden-haired whirlwind burst into the room.  

Tamaki Suoh had arrived.

Cale saw his impending doom approaching in the form of Tamaki Suoh, and he made a swift decision—escape.  

Before the blond idiot could close the distance, Cale grabbed the nearest person sitting beside him and stood up.  

"Let’s go," he said flatly.  

Haruhi Fujioka blinked. "Huh?"  

Too late. Cale was already walking toward the door, smoothly pulling her along with him.  

"Hey! Wait—"  

By the time Tamaki reached the first-year section, Cale and Haruhi were gone.  

The entire classroom fell into stunned silence before Hikaru and Kaoru broke into laughter.  

"Ohhh, he’s fast!"  

"Did you see that? He just kidnapped Haruhi!"  

Meanwhile, Tamaki was frozen in place, his hand still raised as if reaching for something. His eyes glistened dramatically.  

"That mysterious new student..." He placed a hand over his chest. "He’s running away from me? Is he shy ?"  

A collective sigh spread through the class.  

"That’s not what’s happening," someone muttered.  

But Tamaki wasn’t listening.  

***

Cale had successfully made it to an empty hallway, Haruhi still in tow. He only let go once he was sure they were away from potential annoyances.  

Haruhi dusted off her sleeve and looked up at him. "You know, usually when people introduce themselves, they don’t just drag someone out of a room without explanation."  

Cale shrugged. "Would you rather have stayed?"  

Haruhi thought about it for a moment. On one hand, being pulled away was weird. On the other hand...  

She pictured Tamaki dramatically wailing in the classroom, the twins stirring up trouble, then Kyoya and the others would arrived, and the inevitable chaos that followed.  

"...Fair point."  

Cale leaned against the wall with a tired sigh. "So, what do people usually do to avoid trouble in this school?"  

Haruhi gave him a flat look. "You don’t."  

Cale groaned. "Figures."  

At that moment, the sound of hurried footsteps echoed down the hall.  

Both of them turned.  

"Found you, newbie!"  

Cale barely had time to process that sentence before Tamaki came charging around the corner, arms wide open.  

Cale turned to Haruhi. "Run."  

Haruhi didn’t argue.  

And thus, the chase began. 

Chapter Text

Cale was exhausted. He had used a small amount of Sound of Wind to run away with the person he dragged. Because there was just no way he was gonna get dragged into whatever the hell that idiot wants.

Haruhi, who had been unceremoniously pulled along, gave him a questioning glance. "Are you some kind of track star or something?"  

Cale exhaled through his nose. "No."  

He had simply mastered the fine art of escaping problematic situations. And he wasn’t about to get involved in whatever nonsense that blond disaster had planned.  

Unfortunately, his moment of relief was short-lived.  

"THERE HE IS!"  

Cale cursed under his breath. He turned to see Tamaki leading a very determined pursuit squad. The Hitachiin twins were right behind him, clearly entertained by the chase.  

Haruhi sighed. "You really made an impression, huh?"  

Cale ignored her. "Come on."  

With a resigned sigh, he grabbed her wrist again and continued their escape.  

---

They had managed to lose their pursuers—for now. Cale and Haruhi were crouched behind a decorative pillar in one of the school’s unnecessarily fancy hallways.  

Haruhi crossed her arms. "Are you gonna explain why you dragged me into this?"  

Cale gave her a deadpan look. "Would you rather be stuck with them ?" He tilted his head toward the voices echoing from down the hall.  

Tamaki’s dramatic wailing could be heard even from their hiding spot.  

"MY BEAUTIFUL NEW FRIEND, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?! DON’T BE SHY! COME INTO MY LOVING EMBRACE!"  

Hikaru and Kaoru’s laughter followed. "Oh man, this guy is really avoiding you, boss!"  

Haruhi sighed. "Okay, fair. But if you’re trying to avoid them, why did you transfer here? This school is full of people like that."  

Cale sighed heavily. " I didn’t choose to be here."  

Haruhi raised an eyebrow. "Your family sent you?"  

"...Something like that." He wasn’t about to explain his situation to someone he had just met.  

Haruhi seemed to sense his reluctance and let it go. "Well, good luck avoiding them. But something tells me they won’t give up."  

Cale closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the pillar. "Yeah... I figured."  

The sound of approaching footsteps snapped them both to attention.  

Cale opened one eye.  

From the opposite direction, Ootori Kyoya was calmly walking toward them, clipboard in hand, glasses gleaming ominously.  

Cale frowned.  

Haruhi muttered, "You can’t escape him."  

Cale sighed. He was doomed.  

***

He was dragged into a room called Music Room 3. There was a freakishly tall guy (seriously this guy must be seventeen or eighteen, what are this kid’s parents feeding him?) that just carried him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Cale didn’t even bother struggling. It wasn’t worth the effort.  

He just let himself be hauled into the ridiculously extravagant room, because honestly, he was already resigned to his fate. As soon as the doors opened, an explosion of rose petals welcomed them.  

He sighed. Of course.  

“Welcome!”  

A group of students, each radiating varying degrees of chaos, stood before him. At the center, Tamaki spread his arms dramatically, looking as if he had just found a long-lost prince.  

“My dear new friend!” Tamaki declared, eyes sparkling. “You’ve finally come home!”  

Cale, still slung over Mori’s shoulder, blinked slowly. “...No, I haven’t.”  

Tamaki gasped as if personally offended.  

The twins snickered, and Haruhi, who had been forcefully dragged along as well, simply sighed. “Told you.”  

Kyoya, standing a little to the side, adjusted his glasses. “Cale Henituse, correct? Son of the Henituse family conglomerate, specializing in military contracts, resource mining, and various international business ventures.”  

Cale narrowed his eyes. He had already expected Kyoya to dig into his so-called identity, but hearing it out loud made him want to throw something at the God of Death.  

Kyoya smirked. “Your background is certainly impressive. It would make sense for someone of your standing to—”  

“I refuse.”  

Tamaki flinched. “Eh?”  

Cale, still over Mori’s shoulder, turned his head slightly. “I don’t care what it is. I refuse.”  

Hikaru and Kaoru exchanged amused looks. “He doesn’t even know what we’re asking yet.”  

“He just rejected it on instinct.”  

Kyoya merely pushed his glasses up. “That’s unfortunate. But I’m afraid it’s not that simple.”  

Cale knew that look. He’d seen it far too many times in his past life—people who played their own games from behind the scenes, trapping others before they could even notice.  

“Fine,” he muttered. “Put me down first.”  

Mori did so without hesitation. Cale dusted himself off and stretched before finally looking Tamaki in the eye.  

“Alright,” he sighed. “What do you want from me?”  

Tamaki immediately grabbed his hands and stared at him with a dramatic intensity. “Join the Host Club, of course!”  

Cale stared back.  

Haruhi, who had already resigned herself to this situation, slowly reached for a cup of tea from a nearby table.  

The twins were grinning.  

Kyoya was already scribbling something in his notebook.  

Mori and Honey were simply watching.  

Cale, deadpan, asked, “Why?”  

Tamaki gasped, offended. “Because you are simply too *beautiful* to waste away in the shadows! Such elegance, such refinement—!”  

“No.”  

“But—”  

“No.”  

Tamaki clutched his chest as if he had been shot. “But my dear friend—”  

“I am not your friend.”  

Tamaki stumbled back dramatically, caught by the twins as if he were a delicate maiden fainting.  

Cale turned to leave. “Alright. Goodbye.”  

But Kyoya’s calm voice stopped him in his tracks.  

“Before you go, let’s talk about the matter of your school tuition.”  

Cale slowly turned his head. “...What?”  

Kyoya’s glasses gleamed ominously. “The Henituse family is wealthy , but they operate mostly outside of Japan, and have yet to operate in Japan or move its riches. This means certain expenses still need to be covered.”  

Cale narrowed his eyes. “And?”  

Tamaki perked up, suddenly alive again. “And~! We can cover all of your expenses if you work for the Host Club!”  

Cale processed this information.  

On one hand, he had more than enough money— probably . But he didn’t actually know how his finances worked in this world. He could just refuse and leave, but Kyoya didn’t seem like the type to let things go easily.  

Then, his gaze landed on something in the room.  

A table. With a variety of expensive-looking snacks.  

And a couch. A very, very comfortable-looking couch.  

Cale slowly turned back to Kyoya.  

“All I have to do is sit here, right?”  

Kyoya smiled. “And entertain guests.”  

Cale ignored that last part. “Fine. I’ll do it.”  

Tamaki brightened. “ Really?! ”  

Cale grabbed a plate of cookies and flopped onto the couch. “Yeah. Whatever.”  

The twins whistled. “That was fast.”  

Haruhi shook her head. “I should’ve known the snacks would be the deciding factor.”  

And thus, Cale Henituse unwillingly joined the Ouran Host Club.

And if people asked, Ootori Kyoya had somehow blackmailed him into joining this bullshit.

Chapter Text

Cale already hated this place.  

The room was too bright, the furniture was too extravagant, and the people—oh, the people —were too loud.   

Tamaki was currently prancing around the room, dramatically showing off the new “addition” to the Host Club, while the twins whispered amongst themselves, probably scheming something annoying. Kyoya was writing in his notebook again, and Haruhi had already resigned herself to this madness, sipping tea in the corner like she wanted no part of it.  

Cale could relate.  

"Now, my dear ladies!" Tamaki spread his arms wide, his princely aura practically radiating off of him. "Please welcome our newest Host, Cale Henituse! He possesses a mysterious, brooding charm, a quiet elegance that speaks of untold stories—"  

Cale, sprawled comfortably on the couch, shoved another cookie in his mouth and didn’t even try to look elegant. Like seriously, he was a born noble, and these kids are just born from rich families. Their etiquettes are not the same.

The guests, a group of swooning rich girls, watched him with a mixture of curiosity and admiration.  

"He’s so different from the other Hosts!" one of them whispered excitedly.  

"He’s like a cold aristocrat, unbothered by everything!" another sighed dreamily.  

Cale squinted. Huh?  

The twins grinned. "Wow, boss. He doesn’t even have to try, and he’s already got a fanbase."  

Tamaki made a dramatic noise of distress. "He’s stealing the spotlight without even lifting a finger!"  

Cale ignored them all.  

Honestly, this was fine. All he had to do was sit here, eat snacks, and occasionally nod when someone talked to him. Easiest job ever.  

That is, until a girl hesitantly approached him, fidgeting with her hands. "U-Um, excuse me, Cale-sama?"  

Cale looked up, mildly surprised that someone was actually addressing him directly. "...What?"  

The girl blushed. "I just wanted to say… um… y-you look really nice today!"  

Cale blinked. That was... random. He shrugged. "Okay."  

A beat of silence.  

The girl squeaked and ran away, covering her face.  

The rest of the guests erupted into excited whispers.  

" Oh my gosh, he’s so blunt! "  

" He’s not even trying to flirt! "  

" So cool! "  

Cale tilted his head. *What just happened?*  

The twins, now fully invested in the chaos, threw an arm over his shoulders.  

"You really don’t get it, do you?" Hikaru grinned.  

Kaoru nodded. "The more indifferent you act, the more they fall for you!"  

Cale stared at them, then at the group of swooning girls.  

... The fuck is wrong with them?   

Haruhi sighed. "You’re doomed."  

Cale groaned. This job was supposed to be easy.

***

Cale had officially resigned himself to his fate.  

After realizing that his mere existence somehow made him popular, he decided to lean into the only strategy that made sense— do nothing at all.  

He remained seated on the couch, occasionally sipping tea or munching on snacks, responding to questions with short, disinterested answers. If they wanted to swoon over his "cold aristocratic charm," fine. As long as they didn’t expect him to actually do anything.  

The guests, unfortunately, seemed delighted by this.  

"He’s so composed!"  

"So mysterious!"  

"He’s like a noble from a historical drama!"  

Cale sighed and took another sip of tea.  

Across the room, Tamaki was sulking. "This isn’t fair! He’s supposed to be under my guidance! Instead, he’s stealing my guests with his natural allure !"  

The twins, ever the instigators, smirked. "Maybe we should start acting cool and indifferent too."  

"Yeah, let’s ignore the guests and eat snacks."  

They both dramatically lounged on the couches in exaggerated imitation of Cale.  

"How fascinating," Kyoya commented dryly, adjusting his glasses. "Cale’s approach is cost-effective. He entertains guests without actually needing to do anything."  

Cale looked at Kyoya.  

Kyoya looked at Cale.  

A silent understanding passed between them.  

Cale Henituse: lazy slacker.

Kyoya Ootori: ruthless businessman.  

Kyoya smirked.  

Cale frowned.  

He had a bad feeling about this.  

***

After the club activities were all done, Cale left the Host Club room as quickly as possible, Haruhi following at a more reasonable pace.  

"You’re really not gonna try, huh?" she asked, catching up.  

Cale stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Why should I?"  

"Because Tamaki’s not gonna give up," she pointed out.  

Cale groaned. She had a point.  

"Besides," Haruhi continued, "Kyoya’s already figured out that your whole ‘do-nothing’ strategy still brings in profits. If anything, you’ve just secured your spot in the club whether you like it or not."  

Cale stopped walking.  

Haruhi gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.  

"Welcome to hell."  

Cale let out a long, suffering sigh.  

This "vacation" was turning out to be way more work than he signed up for. He was gonna kill the God of Death.

Chapter Text

Cale sighed.

It was a new day.

Meaning, another day in that club Ootori Kyoya blackmailed him into joining.

Cale sighed again, this time with even more exhaustion.  

Kyoya had sealed his fate the moment he realized Cale was an effortless money magnet. Now, escape was impossible.  

As he walked through the absurdly fancy halls of Ouran Academy, he mentally prepared himself for another round of doing nothing while somehow still being adored for it.  

Haruhi, walking beside him, gave him a knowing look. “Still thinking of a way out?”  

“No,” Cale muttered, rubbing his temple. “Just accepting my fate.”  

She snorted. “That’s probably the smarter option.”  

They entered the Host Club’s usual meeting place— Music Room 3 , a name that implied something far more normal than what actually existed inside.  

The moment the doors opened, a storm of rose petals assaulted him.  

“WELCOME, MY BELOVED DISCIPLE!”  

Cale did not react. He simply stepped aside, allowing Tamaki to dramatically throw himself onto the floor when his target failed to be where he expected.  

The twins burst out laughing. “Boss, rejected again!”  

Tamaki sat up, looking genuinely wounded. “Cale! Why must you be so cruel?!”  

Cale walked past him without answering and flopped onto his couch—the one spot in this chaotic room that provided some form of peace.  

The moment he sat down, he reached for the tea and snacks, already settling into his daily routine.  

A cluster of girls gathered around him almost immediately.  

"Good afternoon, Cale-sama!"  

"How was your day?"  

"Would you like some cake?"  

Cale blinked at the offered plate of cake, then nodded.  

The girls giggled in delight as he took a bite.  

Across the room, Tamaki clutched his chest in agony. “HOW?! He’s not even trying! My dear ladies, why do you flock to him when he barely acknowledges your existence?!”  

The twins smirked. “That’s exactly why they love him, boss.”  

Kyoya adjusted his glasses. “It’s the appeal of the untouchable aristocrat.” He jotted something down in his notebook. “An excellent marketing strategy, really.”  

Cale’s eye twitched. This was not a strategy. This was him being a slacker.  

But they wouldn’t believe that even if he said it outright.  

Haruhi sipped her tea that was offered by another female student, giving him another sympathetic look. “You really are stuck here forever, huh?”  

Cale sighed.  

Yes. Yes, he was.

***

It was lunch break.

By a miracle, he was alone with Haruhi by the gardens. He was laying down on the picnic basket as Haruhi was eating her lunch.

“How did you end up in the club?” Cale asked. “And why are you wearing the boys uniform?”

Haruhi put down her chopsticks as she laughed nervously, “I need to pay off a debt after accidentally breaking a valuable vase, and just later continued working as a "host" because I couldn’t afford the school uniform, being mistaken for a boy because of my short hair. People thought I was a gay boy though.”

Cale stared at her. “…Huh.”  

Haruhi continued eating like she hadn’t just dropped a completely ridiculous backstory on him.  

After a moment, Cale sighed and closed his eyes. “So you’re stuck there because of debt, and I’m stuck there because Kyoya is a money-hungry devil.”  

“Pretty much,” Haruhi said, taking another bite.  

They sat in silence for a few moments, the peaceful atmosphere of the garden washing over them.  

Then Cale muttered, “I should’ve just faked an illness.”  

Haruhi snorted. “Too late for that. You’re a fan favorite now.”  

Cale groaned. "How is that even possible? I just sit there and eat snacks.”  

"Exactly."  

Cale cracked an eye open. "Huh?"  

Haruhi gestured vaguely with her chopsticks. "The whole ‘mysterious noble’ thing? The quiet, disinterested look? You don’t try to win them over, so they fall for you harder. It’s like some weird reverse psychology effect.”  

Cale frowned. That was stupid. But judging from the way the girls in the club acted, it was probably true.  

“…I hate this place.”  

Haruhi hummed. “Yeah, you said that already.”  

Cale sighed again and closed his eyes. He was doomed. Doomed to spend every afternoon trapped in a ridiculous club, playing the part of a ‘mysterious aristocrat’ while doing absolutely nothing.  

…At least the snacks were good.

***

So them being friends became a fan favorite amongst the regulars of the club. It started off with Cale taking a nap in Haruhi’s lap as the others were opening the club.

Cale, who had arrived early solely to claim the best napping spot, had wordlessly flopped onto the couch, his head landing in Haruhi’s lap without a care.  

Haruhi, long past the point of questioning Cale’s laziness, had simply continued reading her book.  

Unfortunately, this casual display of friendship was anything but casual to the guests.  

The moment the club doors opened, the room filled with excited whispers.  

“Kyaaa! Look at them!”  

“They’re so comfortable with each other!”  

“Haruhi-sama and Cale-sama… such an unexpectedly perfect pair!”  

Cale, blissfully unaware, shifted slightly and nuzzled into Haruhi’s lap.  

The squeals got louder.  

Haruhi, sipping her tea with an unimpressed look, glanced at the growing crowd. "You guys do realize we’re just friends, right?"  

Her words were ignored.  

Tamaki, meanwhile, had collapsed onto the floor in despair. “MY DAUGHTER! SHE’S BEEN STOLEN!”  

The twins smirked. "Boss, I think you lost her to the dark, brooding noble."  

"Cale, you traitor!" Tamaki wailed dramatically. "I thought we were bonding as mentor and disciple!"  

Cale, finally stirred from his nap by the commotion, cracked open an eye.  

“What’s happening?” he mumbled.  

"You’re fueling a fan craze," Kyoya said dryly, adjusting his glasses. "Congratulations." 

Honey-senpai is laughing gleefully, "Cale-chan and Haru-chan being friends is so cute!"

Cale blinked.  

Then, deciding it was too much effort to deal with, closed his eyes again and went back to sleep.  

The girls collectively lost their minds.

Chapter Text

Cale yawned.

He had been in this world for a week, while being at the host club was tiring. At the very least, he was actually getting his slacker life. A fucking miracle, he knows.

Haruhi side-eyed him as she sipped her tea. “You look way too comfortable for someone who complains about this place every day.”  

Cale, sprawled lazily on the couch, didn’t even bother to open his eyes. “The snacks are good.”  

Haruhi sighed. “That’s really all it takes for you, huh?”  

“Yes.”  

Unfortunately, his peace was short-lived.  

“CALEEEEE!”  

Cale barely had time to brace himself before Tamaki dramatically threw himself onto the couch next to him.  

“You wound me, my dear disciple! Sleeping when you should be charming the guests?!”  

Cale lazily turned his head. “...I am charming them.”  

Tamaki blinked, then looked around.  

Indeed, a small group of girls had gathered nearby, whispering excitedly.  

"He’s so elegant even when he sleeps!"  

"That lazy, uninterested look… it’s like a prince who’s tired of the world…"  

"Kyaa! So dreamy!"  

Cale yawned and reached for another cookie.  

Tamaki clutched his chest in agony. “HOW IS THIS FAIR?!”  

The twins laughed.  

Kyoya, watching the scene with mild amusement, jotted something down in his notebook. “Your fanbase is growing.”  

Cale groaned. That was the opposite of what he wanted.  

Unfortunately, the day only got worse.  

***  

During lunch, Cale once again found himself in the gardens with Haruhi.  

It had become their unspoken routine—she ate, he napped, and for a brief moment, there was peace.  

At least, until the twins showed up.  

“Oi, Cale.”  

Cale cracked open one eye. “No.”  

Hikaru grinned. “You don’t even know what we’re gonna say.”  

“Don’t care.”  

Kaoru crouched next to him. “Oh, but you will care. Because the boss has decided—”  

“—that today’s theme is princes from around the world! ”  

Cale slowly sat up, staring at them with visible horror. “…Excuse me?”  

Haruhi sighed. “It’s one of their cosplay gimmicks.”  

“Correct!” Hikaru said cheerfully.  

Kaoru nodded. “And we’ve already picked out something perfect for you.”  

Cale pinched the bridge of his nose. “No.”  

The twins exchanged mischievous looks.  

“Oh, Kyoya~”  

Cale immediately stood up. “Fine.”  

The twins high-fived.  

Haruhi patted his shoulder. “Rest in peace.”  

Cale sighed. This place was hell.

He wants to go home and just bother his hyung-nim, Alberu Crossman.

***

The moment Cale saw the outfit they picked for him, he considered running.  

Unfortunately, Kyoya stood by the door, looking suspiciously smug.  

Trapped.  

Cale glared at the extravagant, deep red and gold embroidered prince’s robe draped over the mannequin. It looked way too regal—like something an actual crown prince would wear.  

Tamaki sparkled beside him. “As expected of my beloved disciple! You carry the aura of a noble prince so naturally!”  

Cale turned to the twins. “Why does mine look like it belongs to actual royalty?”  

Hikaru grinned. “Because it suits you.”  

Kaoru smirked. “You already act like one, so we just made it official.”  

Haruhi, looking way too amused at his suffering, added, “Honestly? They’re not wrong.”  

Cale sighed. “You people are insane.”  

Still, knowing there was no escape, he begrudgingly changed.  

***  

When he stepped out, the room went silent.  

Cale shifted uncomfortably, adjusting the golden sash that crossed his chest. The deep red robe flowed elegantly over his shoulders, exuding effortless nobility. Even his usual disinterested expression made him look like a prince who was simply tired of ruling a nation.  

“…What?” he muttered.  

The girls erupted into whispers.  

"He looks so regal!"  

"Like a prince who doesn’t care about the throne but still carries the weight of it…"  

" So cool! "  

Tamaki, for once, was silent.  

Then he dramatically collapsed onto the nearest couch. “Unfair… this is completely unfair…!”  

Kyoya adjusted his glasses, jotting something down. “This theme is already proving successful.”  

The twins, grinning, threw an arm around Cale’s shoulders.  

“Cale, buddy—”  

“—you were born for this role.”  

Cale closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.  

This was his life now.  

He should’ve faked an illness.

Chapter Text

Cale faked an illness.

A whole week being in that club was exhausting. So, the following Monday, Cale called in sick, when he’s not really sick. It was the day Tamaki was planning to be officially introduced to the two eldest members of the club, Mitsukuni "Honey" Haninozuka and Takashi "Mori" Morinozuka. Hopefully Tamaki was not that crazy to actually drag everyone in his house.

He suddenly shivered, why did it feel like he just jinxed himself?

***

Cale had made a mistake.  

A fatal, catastrophic mistake.  

He should have just gone to the club.  

Instead, he was in his dorm room, faking an illness for some well-deserved rest. He had tea. He had a warm blanket. He was finally living his slacker dream—  

Until his door burst open.  

"Cale!"  

Cale didn't react. He didn't move. He just closed his eyes tighter and prayed that if he stayed still long enough, they’d all leave.  

Of course, that didn’t happen.  

"My dear disciple!" Tamaki wailed. "Even in the depths of illness, you maintain your noble air! Worry not—I, your beloved mentor, have come to bring you joy in your darkest hour!"  

Cale slowly peeked open one eye.  

The entire Host Club was standing in his room.  

Haruhi. The twins. Kyoya.  

And two people Cale had never seen before.  

A short blond boy holding a stuffed bunny and an absolute mountain of a guy standing beside him.  

Kyoya, adjusting his glasses, spoke with amusement. “Since you were unable to come to the club, we decided to bring the introduction to you.”  

Cale wanted to die.  

“This is Mitsukuni ‘Honey’ Haninozuka and Takashi ‘Mori’ Morinozuka,” Kyoya continued. “The two eldest members of the club.”  

Cale stared.  

Honey-senpai tilted his head, then beamed. “Ohhh! You’re Cale-kun! Kyo-chan said you were really good at taking naps and eating snacks!”  

Cale looked at Kyoya with pure betrayal.  

Kyoya merely smiled.  

Mori, standing behind Honey, nodded in silent greeting.  

Cale stared at them, then sighed. He could already tell—these two were going to be just as exhausting as the rest.  

Tamaki sat dramatically on the edge of Cale’s bed. “There! Now you don’t have to feel left out! Aren’t we such good friends?”  

Cale shoved a pillow in his face.  

Tamaki let out a muffled yelp as the twins burst out laughing.  

Honey giggled, climbing onto the bed without hesitation. “Ne, ne, Cale-kun, do you like cake? I brought some~!”  

At those words, Cale paused.  

Honey, taking advantage of his hesitation, opened a box filled with strawberry shortcake. “Here! You can have the first piece!”  

Cale blinked.  

…Okay.  

Maybe this wasn’t the worst intrusion.

Cale slowly sat up, eyeing the cake. “…Strawberry shortcake?”  

Honey beamed. “Yup! It’s from my family’s shop~! Super tasty!”  

Cale accepted the plate, taking a slow, deliberate bite.  

The room went silent as everyone watched.  

Then, Cale nodded. “It’s good.”  

Honey let out a happy squeal and immediately scooted closer. “Right?! Takashi and I eat it all the time!”  

Mori, ever silent, just nodded in agreement.  

Cale, despite everything, continued eating. If they were going to invade his dorm room, at least he was getting something out of it.  

The twins nudged each other. “Wow. First Tamaki, now Honey-senpai?”  

Kaoru smirked. “Are you secretly a kid magnet, Cale?”  

Cale gave them a blank stare. “No.”  

Tamaki dramatically threw the pillow off his face. “He is ! The children flock to him like a lost prince—”  

Cale grabbed another pillow and smacked him again.  

“GAH—!”  

Honey giggled. “Cale-kun, you’re funny~”  

Cale sighed. That wasn’t the goal, but whatever.  

Kyoya, watching everything unfold, simply jotted something down in his notebook. “Unexpectedly good at dealing with Honey-senpai. Possible marketing strategy.”  

Cale’s eye twitched. “Stop writing things down. ”  

Kyoya smiled. He did not stop.  

Haruhi, meanwhile, was just sipping her tea, watching the chaos like this was completely normal.  

And maybe, at this point, it was.  

After Cale finished his cake, Honey happily handed him another piece, chatting excitedly about different sweets. Mori sat silently next to them, occasionally offering a comment.  

And before Cale knew it…  

He had been fully adopted into the Honey-Mori duo’s circle.  

Tamaki, still buried in pillows, sniffled dramatically. “I’m losing him to other members… my disciple… my dear Cale… how could you…”  

Hikaru patted his shoulder. “It’s okay, boss. He was never yours to begin with.”  

Kaoru smirked. “He belongs to the snacks now.”  

Cale sighed, staring at his new cake-filled plate.  

Maybe… maybe this wasn’t so bad.  

At the very least, he had secured another solid source of good food.  

And that?  

That was always a win.

***

When Haruhi first saw Cale Henituse, she thought he was just another rich kid who wouldn’t even glance her way.  

He had transferred in without fuss, slipping into class with that same I-don’t-care expression he always wore. He barely spoke, never raised his hand, and somehow still managed to do just well enough to avoid attention.  

If she had to describe him in one word?  

Unbothered.  

That was, until the day Tamaki decided to adopt him.  

It started normally enough. She had just finished organizing her notes when the classroom doors suddenly burst open.  

“MY DEAR DISCIPLE!!”  

The entire class froze as Tamaki Suoh dramatically posed in the doorway, arms wide open. Behind him, the twins looked far too amused, while Kyoya adjusted his glasses like this was normal .  

At the center of it all stood Cale, looking seconds away from committing a crime.  

The next moment, he bolted .  

Not walked. Not ran.  

Bolted.   

Unfortunately for Haruhi, she had been standing far too close.  

Before she could react, Cale grabbed her wrist and yanked her along.  

“Wait—Cale-kun?! What—”  

“Escape.” That was all he said before dragging her into a full sprint.  

Behind them, Tamaki wailed dramatically. “CALE, COME BACK TO ME!”  

“I REFUSE.”  

Haruhi barely had time to process before they were weaving through the halls of Ouran Academy at high speed. Which was surprising because Cale looks so frail that she thought that he was never in any sports.

Guess you really can’t judge a book by its cover?

Students gawked as they passed. Some teachers tried to call out, but Cale was relentless.  

And somehow, despite never putting in effort in class, he was fast.  

Haruhi, used to Tamaki’s antics, could only sigh as she kept pace. “Are you really this desperate to avoid him?”  

Cale didn’t even look back. “You have no idea .”  

They turned a corner—only to come face-to-face with Kyoya, who was calmly standing in their way like he knew this would happen.  

“Running won’t save you,” Kyoya said smoothly.  

Cale skidded to a stop, Haruhi nearly slamming into him.  

Tamaki appeared a second later, triumphant. “I HAVE YOU NOW, MY WAYWARD DISCIPLE!”  

Cale sighed deeply, shoulders slumping in resignation.  

Haruhi just blinked. “Wait. Disciple ?”  

Kyoya smirked. “Congratulations, Haruhi. You’ve lessened your debt by bringing the new recruit.”  

And that was how Cale was forced into the madness that was the Host Club. And how Kyoya, the bastard, just implied that she was their accomplice.

And on the present day?

Haruhi wasn’t even surprised anymore.  

Somehow, today’s ‘meeting’ was happening in Cale’s house(a damn estate). She didn’t know why, and honestly, she wasn’t going to question it.  

“Cale-kun, you should eat more cake~!”  

Honey-senpai, the ever-cheerful ball of energy, practically beamed as he handed Cale yet another plate of strawberry shortcake.  

Cale, who had long since given up on fighting fate, accepted it without hesitation. “Thanks.”  

Haruhi sipped her tea, watching with mild amusement as Honey immediately took this as an invitation to sit next to him.  

“Ne, ne, do you like sweets?” Honey asked excitedly.  

Cale shrugged. “They’re fine.”  

Mori, who had been silent this whole time, nodded approvingly. “Good.”  

Haruhi resisted the urge to laugh. Did Cale just get officially adopted by them? 

Meanwhile, Tamaki sat dramatically on a pile of pillows, looking devastated .  

“My dear disciple is being stolen before my eyes…”  

The twins, ever the instigators, grinned.  

“Let’s be honest, boss.” Hikaru smirked.  

Kaoru leaned in. “He was never yours to begin with.”  

Kyoya, still scribbling in his notebook, added without looking up, “He belongs to the snacks now.”  

Haruhi took another sip of tea, glancing at Cale—who was now listening to Honey talk about cake flavors with surprising patience.  

For someone who constantly tried to avoid people, Cale sure had a way of attracting them.  

She almost felt bad for him.  

Almost.

Chapter Text

It was a rare day.  

He was actually alone and not in the club.  

Cale sighed in relief as he wandered through the absurdly extravagant halls of Ouran Academy. He wasn’t avoiding anything in particular—he just wasn’t in the mood to deal with Tamaki’s dramatics, the twins’ loud bantering, or Kyoya’s money-making schemes.  

So he walked. No particular destination in mind, just enjoying the silence.  

At least, until he heard soft sniffles coming from a nearby hallway.  

Cale stopped.  

Turning his head, he spotted a small figure standing near one of the large windows, tiny hands clutching the hem of her salmon-colored skirt. A little girl, no older than four or five, dressed in the Ouran kindergarten uniform.  

Tear-filled blue eyes met his gaze.  

“…Are you lost?” he asked.  

The girl sniffled and nodded.  

Cale sighed. Of course. 

He glanced around. No teachers. No panicked parents. No sign of anyone looking for a missing child.  

Just him.  

Cale stared at the little girl. The little girl stared back.  

After a moment, she shuffled closer, clutching his sleeve. “Onii-chan…”  

Cale froze.  

…What.   

The little girl’s big, watery eyes blinked up at him. “Onii-chan, you’re really warm…”  

Something in Cale’s chest twisted.  

For a brief second, he thought of On, Hong, and Raon. The way they used to cling to him, seeking warmth and reassurance. The way they’d look up at him with that same quiet trust.  

Cale exhaled slowly.  

“…Alright,” he muttered. “Let’s find your teacher.”  

The little girl beamed, wiping her tears with her sleeve. “Un!”  

She didn’t let go of his sleeve as they walked.  

Cale sighed.  

How did this happen?

***

Again, how did this happen?

Cale is now wandering with the child in his arms.

He looked at her, “What’s your name?”

The little girl blinked up at him, still clinging to his shirt like a tiny koala.  

“…Elli,” she mumbled. “Elli Weiss.”  

Cale hummed. Half-German, half-Japanese, from the sound of it.  

He adjusted his hold on her. She was small—light enough that carrying her wasn’t an issue. Still, how did this even happen?  

One moment, she was holding his sleeve. The next, she had latched onto him completely, and somehow, Cale just… let her.  

Maybe it was the way she reminded him of the children back home. Maybe it was the way she had immediately trusted him, despite being lost. Maybe it was because she had called him “Onii-chan” in that tiny, wobbly voice.  

Whatever the reason, here he was.  

“…Alright, Elli,” he said, shifting her slightly to a more comfortable position. “Where did you last see your teacher?”  

Elli frowned, thinking hard. “Ummm… We were on a field trip ‘round the school, but then I saw a butterfly and followed it…”  

Cale sighed. Of course, a child her age would get distracted with a butterfly. Raon once did that.

“You wandered off,” he concluded.  

Elli nodded, looking properly guilty.  

Cale resisted the urge to rub his temples.  

“Alright. Let’s—”  

“CALE-SAMAAAA!!”  

Cale stiffened. No. No, no, no. 

Elli flinched at the sudden, shrill voices echoing through the hallway.  

Cale turned his head just in time to see a group of Host Club regulars rushing toward him.  

His eye twitched.  

They must have seen him carrying Elli and, knowing them, would absolutely misinterpret the situation.  

And he was right.  

“Kyaaa! Cale-sama is holding a child! How precious!”  

“He’s so gentle with her!”  

“Could he be a secret prince with a hidden little sister?!”  

Cale was already backing away. This was getting dangerous. 

Elli buried her face in his shoulder, clearly overwhelmed.  

That was it. Time to run.  

With the efficiency of a man used to escaping ridiculous situations, Cale turned on his heel and bolted down the hall using a little bit of his wind ancient powers, leaving a trail of stunned fangirls behind.  

Elli peeked up at him mid-run. “Onii-chan… are we playing tag?”  

Cale sighed. “Sure. Let’s go with that.”

***

They ended up in Music Room 3.

God fucking damn it. He really was an unlucky bastard like Eruhaben-nim said.

Cale stood frozen at the doorway of Music Room 3, mentally cursing his luck.  

The moment he stepped inside, the room fell silent.  

Seven pairs of eyes turned to him.  

Tamaki gasped dramatically. “CALE! MY DISCIPLE, YOU HAVE RETURNED—”  

Then his gaze dropped to the little girl in Cale’s arms.  

And all hell broke loose.  

“CALE. WHAT IS THIS?” Tamaki shrieked, pointing at Elli like she was some sort of rare creature.  

The twins appeared at Cale’s sides instantly, peering at Elli with interest.  

“Ohh?” Hikaru hummed. “What do we have here?”  

“A mini-person?” Kaoru added.  

Elli, still curled up against Cale, blinked at the new people. She gripped his shirt a little tighter.  

Haruhi sighed, already tired. “You guys are scaring her.”  

“Cale,” Kyoya interrupted, adjusting his glasses. His eyes gleamed in that ominous way Cale was beginning to recognize as *trouble.* “Why are you carrying a child?”  

Cale took a deep breath.  

“She was lost,” he deadpanned.  

Elli peeked up at him. “Onii-chan saved me!”  

The room went still.  

Tamaki staggered back, clutching his chest. “O-Onii-chan?!”  

Hikaru and Kaoru gasped dramatically. “Onii-chan?”  

Haruhi pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh no.”  

Honey’s eyes sparkled. “That’s so cute! Cale-kun is a big brother now!”  

Mori nodded solemnly.  

Cale sighed. He could already feel the incoming headache.  

“No, I’m not—”  

Elli turned to the others. “Onii-chan is warm and safe!”  

Cale twitched. The way she said it was way too innocent, but he could feel the host club drawing the absolute worst conclusions.  

“CALE.” Tamaki was suddenly there , grabbing his shoulders. “WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME YOU HAD A SECRET BABY SISTER?!”  

Cale shoved him off. “Because she’s not.”  

Tamaki ignored him, already spinning into a dramatic fantasy. “A tragic story… a hidden little sister, lost and alone, until finally reunited with her beloved onii-chan—”  

“I just found her in the hallway,” Cale deadpanned.  

Tamaki wasn’t listening.  

Hikaru and Kaoru snickered. “I dunno, Cale. She seems attached to you.”  

Elli nodded. “Un! Onii-chan is nice!”  

Cale stared at her.  

She beamed.  

Cale sighed again. He was too tired for this.  

Kyoya, meanwhile, was scribbling something in his notebook. “Interesting.”  

Haruhi leaned over to glance at the notes. “What are you—”  

Kyoya adjusted his glasses. “Cale’s Onii-chan Appeal will likely bring in an entirely new demographic.”  

Cale groaned. This place is hell.

Can he get a refund for this vacation?

“Nom~!” Elli munched on the cookie Cale just subconsciously gave her.

***

Kyoya fucking jinxed him.

The regulars liked his interaction with Elli.

But you know what?

### **Chapter 8 (Continued)**  

Cale had long since mastered the art of ignoring unnecessary noise.  

Which was why, despite the kyaaas and the not-so-quiet whispering of the regulars, he simply continued to monitor Elli.  

She was comfortably perched in his lap, happily munching on another cookie. He had no idea when he started feeding her. It just… happened.  

Cale stared blankly ahead. Was this how Ron felt whenever he ended up taking care of him?  

Elli licked some crumbs from her fingers before turning to him. “Onii-chan, can I have juice too?”  

Cale, without thinking, reached for the tea set. “Sure.”  

A collective squeal from the regulars rang out.  

Cale’s eye twitched. He finally acknowledged the background noise long enough to hear:  

“Cale-sama is so gentle with her!”  

“He’s just naturally taking care of her—how precious!”  

“It’s like watching a doting big brother with his baby sister!”  

Cale bit back a sigh. He knew this would happen. *Of course* this would happen.  

Even Haruhi was looking at him like he was some rare specimen.  

“I didn’t think you had a soft side,” she mused, sipping her tea.  

Cale rolled his eyes. “I don’t.”  

Hikaru and Kaoru cackled. “Denial.”  

Kyoya, still writing in his notebook, nodded. “Profitable denial.”  

Cale wanted to go home.  

Elli, oblivious to the chaos around her, happily sipped the juice Cale had poured. “Onii-chan, you’re nice.”  

Cale paused.  

Nice.  

…When was the last time he had been called that so simply?  

He looked down at Elli, who was now swinging her legs, completely trusting him.  

Something in his chest twisted.  

Cale sighed. Whatever.  

At least she wasn’t crying anymore.  

But just as he thought things were settling down—  

The doors to Music Room 3 slammed open.  

“ELLIIIIII!!”  

A frantic woman burst inside, her blonde hair disheveled, followed by a handful of Ouran kindergarten teachers. Her panicked blue eyes locked onto the small girl sitting comfortably in Cale’s lap.  

“…Mama?” Elli blinked.  

The woman let out a half-sob, half-relieved breath. “Oh, thank goodness—!”  

Before Cale could process what was happening, Elli’s mother rushed forward and—  

— snatched Cale’s hands into her own.  

“Young man,” she said, eyes shining with gratitude. “Thank you so much for keeping my baby safe!”  

Cale froze.  

Behind him, the Host Club erupted.  

“Ohhh?” Hikaru and Kaoru smirked. “A new love interest?”

Tamaki collapsed onto the floor. “CALE—MY DISCIPLE—YOU’RE STEALING THE HEARTS OF MOTHERS NOW?!”

Kyoya adjusted his glasses, scribbling something down. “Unexpected, but marketable.”  

Haruhi just sighed, shaking her head.  

Cale’s eye twitched violently. What the fuck is happening.  

Elli, completely unaware of the chaos, tugged on Cale’s sleeve. “Onii-chan, are you coming with us?”  

Cale stared at her.  

Elli’s mother also looked at him hopefully. “Would you? Elli seems very attached to you. We’d love to treat you as thanks.”  

Cale suddenly felt very exhausted.  

This. This was why he didn’t help people.

(That’s false, why else he has that large family back home?)

***

Cale briefly considered running. 

The window was right there. A little wind magic and he could be out of this mess in seconds. 

But then Elli blinked up at him, blue eyes round and hopeful, and—damn it. He could already hear the inevitable teasing from the club if he refused. 

Hikaru and Kaoru would call him a heartless villain.  

Tamaki would dramatically declare him a tragic older brother figure.  

Kyoya would undoubtedly turn it into some ridiculous business venture.  

And worst of all, Elli might actually look sad.   

Cale sighed, resigning himself to his fate. “Fine.”  

Elli beamed. “Yay!”  

The Host Club, of course, had many thoughts about this.  

Hikaru elbowed Kaoru. “You think he’ll end up adopted?”  

Kaoru snickered. “At this rate? Maybe.”  

Tamaki dramatically wiped an imaginary tear. “My disciple… growing up so fast… making motherly connections…”  

Haruhi rolled her eyes. “You’re all being ridiculous.”  

Kyoya, meanwhile, continued writing. “Possible family connections with high-status clientele. An intriguing development.”  

Cale ignored all of them. Instead, he turned to Elli’s mother, who was still smiling warmly at him.  

“We’ll be heading to a nearby café,” she said. “It’s Elli’s favorite. Do you like sweets?”  

Cale paused. He did, but admitting that in front of these people would be a mistake.  

Unfortunately—  

“ Ohhh, ” the twins chorused, their grins turning devious.  

“Cale-sama, do you have a sweet tooth~? ”  

Haruhi deadpanned. “Of course he does. He only joined the Host Club for the snacks.”  

The entire room collectively turned to look at Cale.  

Cale scowled. “Shut up.”  

Tamaki gasped. “My disciple is a man of culture?! ”  

Elli giggled, clearly delighted. “Onii-chan likes sweets too?”  

Cale sighed, rubbing his temples. “Yes, sure, whatever. Let’s just go.”  

Elli cheered, and before Cale could escape, she grabbed his hand.  

He was being led out of the music room like an actual babysitter.  

And the Host Club?  

They were absolutely going to follow him.  

***  

Fifteen minutes later, Cale found himself sitting at an elegant café table, drinking a hot chocolate he didn’t remember ordering.  

Elli was happily munching on a strawberry shortcake.  

Her mother smiled. “She usually doesn’t warm up to people this quickly. You must be very special to her.”  

Cale took a slow sip of his drink. “I just found her in the hallway.”  

“That doesn’t change the fact that you took care of her,” she said, amusement in her tone.  

Cale had no response to that.  

Across the café, the Host Club had strategically seated themselves nearby, pretending not to eavesdrop while very obviously eavesdropping. 

Elli’s mother took another sip of her tea before turning back to Cale.  

“By the way,” she said with a knowing smile, “do you have any siblings, Cale-kun?”  

Cale froze.  

Something unspoken flickered across his face. His thoughts briefly drifted to another world, his home—Basen. Lily. Alberu. Sui Khan. Choi Jung Soo.

“…Yeah,” he murmured, gaze distant. “Something like that.”  

Elli looked up at him, crumbs on her cheeks.  

“Onii-chan,” she said softly, “you’re a good big brother.”  

Cale blinked.  

The words hit him harder than he expected.  

Before he could figure out why, the twins suddenly appeared at his side, grinning like devils.  

“Cale-sama~” Hikaru crooned.  

“You do have a soft side!” Kaoru added.  

Cale scowled. “I will throw you both out the window.”  

Haruhi snorted. “See? This is why I stuck with you. You’re the only sane one.”  

Cale wasn’t so sure about that anymore.  

Meanwhile, Tamaki, wiping fake tears from his eyes, declared, “My disciple is finally embracing the power of family~!”   

Kyoya simply adjusted his glasses.  

Cale exhaled through his nose.  

He took another sip of his hot chocolate.  

…This was fine.  

At least he got free sweets out of it.

Chapter Text

https://www.wattpad.com/story/391975165-beijo-beijo-nós-adormecemos

someone had translated this fic without my permission on wattpad. Please report it, because I did not give them permission. I don’t care if AO3 is public or whatever, but ASK for fucking permission before translating my works.

I am allowing fanarts but not translation.

I will not be updating any of my fics until that person takes down my fics on her account. Please just report, and do not harass them, just report.

Chapter Text

Cale hadn’t planned for any of this.

Sitting in a fancy café, surrounded by the Ouran Host Club members who were definitely not eavesdropping, and entertaining a little girl who still clung to his shirt like a koala—this was not how his day was supposed to go.

He had originally just wanted to take a walk to clear his head, avoiding the chaos of the Host Club. Instead, here he was, playing the reluctant big brother to a tiny child with sticky fingers and a fondness for calling him “Onii-chan.”

Elli giggled as she licked some icing off her fingers. “Onii-chan, it’s yummy!”

Cale absently wiped the icing from her cheek with a napkin. “Don’t get it on your dress.”

Elli obediently nodded, stuffing more cake into her mouth. Cale glanced around, catching Kyoya’s calculating gaze and the twins’ poorly hidden amusement. Tamaki looked like he was planning some grand new scheme in his head, and Haruhi just gave him a sympathetic glance from across the table.

Elli’s mother, who had introduced herself as Yuko Weiss , watched with a soft smile. “She really likes you,” she remarked, looking more relaxed now that her daughter was safe.

Cale just grunted, unsure how to respond to that. He wasn’t used to being openly praised for just… existing.

Yuko tilted her head, studying him with a curious glint in her eyes. “You’re a student at Ouran, right?”

“Unfortunately,” Cale muttered, earning a snort from Haruhi.

Yuko chuckled. “It’s rare to see someone from the high school department take such good care of the younger students. You must have younger siblings.”

For a moment, Cale’s mind flashed to Raon, On, and Hong. He cleared his throat, not meeting her eyes. “Something like that.”

Elli tugged on his sleeve. “Onii-chan, can I have that one?” She pointed to a strawberry parfait on the menu.

Cale raised an eyebrow. “You just finished a whole slice of cake.”

Elli pouted, giving him her best puppy eyes.

A familiar sense of resignation washed over him. Why was he such a pushover when it came to kids?

Before he could respond, Tamaki swooped in. “Of course! A parfait for the little princess!” He gestured dramatically to the waiter, ordering one without even asking.

Elli’s eyes sparkled with excitement, and Cale shot Tamaki a glare. “You’re encouraging bad habits.”

“Nonsense!” Tamaki scoffed. “A princess should be showered with sweets and happiness!”

Cale sighed. “You’re just an idiot.”

Tamaki ignored him, more focused on entertaining Elli.

Kyoya, meanwhile, adjusted his glasses. “This could be an opportunity.”

Hikaru and Kaoru leaned in, smirking. “An opportunity for what?”

Kyoya glanced at Cale. “A family-themed event. After all, it’s clear that Cale’s ‘Onii-chan Appeal’ is quite popular. Imagine the potential if we included younger siblings or children in our activities.”

Cale stiffened. “No.”

Tamaki gasped. “Kyoya, that’s brilliant! A ‘Family Day’ where we act as big brothers to the little ones! We could have games, snacks, and storytelling! The ladies would love it!”

Cale glared at Kyoya. “Absolutely not.”

Kyoya merely gave a small smile, the kind that indicated he was already finalizing the details. “It’s a good way to foster positive public relations. Besides, you already have a natural talent for it.”

Cale was seconds away from dumping his hot chocolate on Kyoya’s pristine white shirt.

Elli pulled on his sleeve again. “Onii-chan, are we gonna play more after this?”

Cale glanced at her, noting how she was still comfortably nestled in his lap despite having an entire seat to herself. “We’ll see.”

Yuko seemed to be in no rush to take her daughter back, clearly relieved to let someone else handle the energetic little girl for once.

A bell chimed as the parfait arrived. Elli’s eyes lit up, and she practically bounced in Cale’s lap. “Yay! Onii-chan, look!”

She pointed excitedly at the tower of strawberries, whipped cream, and syrup. Cale carefully took the spoon, scooped a bit of cream, and offered it to her.

Elli happily accepted, making a pleased noise as she tasted it.

Tamaki, clutching his chest, looked like he was on the verge of tears again. “Oh, the pure innocence of a child! Cale, you are truly a noble soul!”

Haruhi snorted. “He’s just feeding her. Calm down.”

Hikaru and Kaoru, however, had different ideas. They leaned over, poking at Cale’s shoulder.

“So, Cale, you’re into cute things after all,” Hikaru teased.

Kaoru smirked. “Never thought we’d see the day.”

Cale deadpanned. “Leave me alone before I make you babysit.”

The twins looked mildly horrified. “Pass.”

Elli, blissfully unaware of the chaos she was causing, wiped a bit of cream on Cale’s cheek. He blinked, momentarily stunned.

She giggled. “Onii-chan, you got messy!”

Cale just wiped it off with a napkin, sighing. “You’re the messy one.”

Elli stuck out her tongue playfully, and Yuko laughed softly. “She’s really taken to you. It’s unusual.”

Cale shrugged. “Kids just… do that sometimes.”

For a moment, his mind wandered back to when Raon first called him “Human.” Back then, he had been a scrawny, scarred little dragon who wouldn’t leave his side. Now, Raon was practically glued to him.

Maybe it was just his luck that children seemed to think he was trustworthy.

When the parfait was mostly demolished, Elli leaned back, looking thoroughly content. “Onii-chan is the best!”

Tamaki practically sparkled. “Yes! My disciple is truly amazing!”

Kyoya hummed thoughtfully. “There’s definitely something marketable about this dynamic.”

Cale gave him a long, withering stare. “Stop plotting.”

Yuko finally stepped in, gently taking Elli from Cale’s lap. “Thank you for watching her,” she said sincerely. “I know you didn’t have to.”

Cale just shrugged. “It’s fine.”

Elli waved enthusiastically. “Bye-bye, Onii-chan! I’ll find you again!”

Cale shuddered. “Please don’t.”

Tamaki, however, was not deterred. “We must invite Miss Elli to our Family Day! It will be a grand event!”

Cale didn’t bother correcting him. He knew resistance was futile.

As Elli and her mother finally left, the Host Club members all gave Cale the same smirking look.

Kyoya closed his notebook. “You really do have a way with children.”

Cale glared. “You say that one more time, and I’m taking the next plane out of here.”

Haruhi chuckled. “Don’t worry. It wasn’t that bad, right?”

Cale huffed, crossing his arms. “You all just don’t know when to shut up.”

Hikaru and Kaoru cackled. “You’re so easy to tease.”

Tamaki placed a hand on Cale’s shoulder. “Worry not, Cale! As your mentor in the ways of family bonding, I shall teach you how to embrace this newfound brotherly charm!”

Cale seriously considered setting Tamaki on fire.

But as the club finally began to wind down, Cale couldn’t help but glance at the door where Elli had left.

A small smile tugged at his lips before he could stop it.

Maybe this ridiculous day wasn’t entirely terrible after all.

***

It had been two days since the unexpected adventure with Elli Weiss, and the Host Club was still buzzing about it. Somehow, the regulars were still swooning over the sight of Cale caring for the little girl, and Kyoya had already capitalized on the event by promoting a new concept:

The Family-Themed Host Club Event.

Cale groaned as he looked at the event poster plastered around the academy. It featured a sketch of him holding Elli with the caption:

“Experience the warmth of family love with Cale-sama, our gentle Onii-chan!”

Beside it were pictures of the other hosts in various family-like poses: Tamaki and Honey as doting older brothers, Mori as the protective uncle, the twins as mischievous siblings, and Kyoya as the composed, dependable father figure.

Cale couldn’t decide whether to be annoyed or resigned. He was leaning toward both. He should have burned down this place when he had the chance.

“So,” Haruhi began, handing him a cup of tea. “You’re the club’s new family guy, huh?”

Cale rolled his eyes. “Blame Kyoya.”

She smirked. “You’re not really protesting, though.”

“…It’s not worth the effort,” he muttered.

The door to Music Room 3 opened, and a flood of regulars poured in, giggling and chatting animatedly. Tamaki, already in his element, greeted them with his trademark sparkle.

“Welcome, my lovely princesses! Today, we shall show you the beauty of familial bonds!”

Honey jumped into the conversation, waving a small flag that said “Big Brother Mode!” Mori followed silently, holding Usa-chan in his arm.

The twins were dressed identically, as always, but this time they were in matching sweaters, giving off a “brotherly duo” vibe. They smirked as they caught Cale’s eye.

“Looks like the star of the show is here,” Hikaru teased.

Kaoru grinned. “Are you ready for your debut, Onii-chan?”

Cale glared at them. “I’ll leave.”

“No, you won’t,” Kyoya interjected calmly, appearing from behind. He had his notebook open and was jotting down observations. “We’re fully booked today because of you. It would be a waste not to participate.”

Cale fought the urge to use his Dominating Aura.

Elli arrived with her mother not long after, both looking much more relaxed than two days ago. The woman spotted Cale and immediately approached him with a warm smile.

“Cale-kun! Thank you for inviting us. Elli hasn’t stopped talking about you.”

Elli beamed, immediately running up to Cale and latching onto his leg. “Onii-chan!”

Cale, uncharacteristically, didn’t push her away. He even patted her head once, earning another round of squeals from the regulars.

“Are you going to stay today?” he asked, looking down at Elli.

She nodded. “Mama said we could! Onii-chan’s club is fun!”

Her mother chuckled. “It’s a good opportunity for Elli to meet other children, and I heard the event today is family-themed. I thought it’d be nice.”

Cale didn’t know whether to feel relieved or worried. He glanced at Kyoya, who nodded approvingly.

“Perfect. Elli can be part of your hosting. Our guests are looking forward to seeing you interact with her.”

Cale opened his mouth to protest, but Kyoya’s glasses glinted dangerously.

“We can always triple your workload if you disagree.”

Damn this place.

***

Somehow, Cale found himself sitting at one of the decorated tables, Elli in his lap. The room was transformed to look like a cozy living room, complete with plush couches, soft lighting, and framed pictures of the hosts from various previous events.

Cale glanced at the guests in front of him—three girls who seemed torn between fawning over him or squealing at Elli’s cuteness.

Elli, oblivious to the attention, was focused on stacking cookies into a small tower.

One of the girls leaned forward. “Cale-sama, are you good with children?”

Cale shrugged. “They’re easier to deal with than most adults.”

The girls giggled, charmed.

Another one chimed in, “It’s so sweet how she calls you ‘Onii-chan’! You really do give off that older brother vibe.”

Cale didn’t bother responding. He just handed Elli another cookie to add to her tower.

Elli looked up at him with wide eyes. “Onii-chan, is it okay if I give some cookies to the other kids?”

Cale nodded. “Go ahead.”

Elli carefully picked up the stack and tottered off to where a few other kids—brought in by guests—were gathered around Honey and Mori.

As soon as she was out of earshot, one of the girls leaned closer. “Cale-sama, you really are kind.”

Cale snorted. “I’m just making sure she doesn’t cry again.”

But the girls seemed even more enamored.

From across the room, Tamaki watched the scene with a dramatic sigh.

“My disciple! You’ve truly blossomed into a magnificent big brother!”

Haruhi nudged him. “He’s always been good with kids. You just never noticed.”

Tamaki whirled around. “What?! But Cale always seems so distant!”

Hikaru and Kaoru snickered. “That’s just because you don’t know him well enough, Boss.”

Kyoya adjusted his glasses, jotting something down. “Indeed. Cale’s aloofness only enhances his appeal when he shows a soft side. Profitable, as expected.”

Cale heard all of it, of course. He chose to ignore it.

When Elli returned, she had crumbs on her face and a satisfied grin.

“Onii-chan, Mori-onii gave me juice!”

Cale raised an eyebrow. “Did you say thank you?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yup! And Honey-senpai gave me a candy too!”

The girls at his table practically melted.

“So responsible,” one murmured.

“And gentle,” another added.

Cale felt like his dignity was being systematically dismantled.

But when Elli tugged on his sleeve and smiled up at him, he found himself patting her head again.

***

The event went surprisingly well. The guests loved seeing Cale play the “Onii-chan” role, and Kyoya’s profits were off the charts.

When Elli finally fell asleep on his lap, clutching his shirt like a lifeline, Cale couldn’t help but feel an odd sense of calm.

Maybe this wasn’t so bad.

Honey skipped over and whispered, “Cale-kun is like a papa!”

Cale gave him a deadpan look. “No.”

Mori, standing behind Honey, merely nodded in agreement.

As the club began to wind down for the day, Tamaki dramatically declared, “Today was a grand success! Family love truly is beautiful!”

Cale rolled his eyes.

Kyoya glanced at the sleeping Elli. “I’ll let her mother know she’s resting. Perhaps you could carry her to the car when it’s time to leave.”

Cale gave a noncommittal grunt, not particularly bothered.

As the last guests left, Cale finally relaxed.

Maybe this vacation wasn’t entirely terrible.

Elli snuggled closer, murmuring in her sleep. “Onii-chan…”

Cale sighed, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

He really was hopeless when it came to kids.