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why is everybody so dumb?

Summary:

me ranting one-shot edition through the golden trio about those fics that are weirdly centered around blaming muggleborns for everything like it's weird.

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Harry was exhausted and he was not ashamed to say at this point because why was he always dragged in whatever stupid shit he always ended up in. Ron and Hermione were both with him and he felt horrible for getting them dragged into this mess as well. To set the scene basically the three of them were cleaning out the Grimmauld place and that place was a horrible mess. See Harry easily could’ve just paid someone to do all that since he was, you know, filthy rich. 

 

Instead deciding to just do it by himself along with the other two was obviously a splendid idea. It was not a great idea because they managed to come across some mirror that was writing on it. Of course Ron didn’t learn because the idiot read the words out loud and Harry wanted to smack his stupid best friend. 

 

“Seriously Ron” Harry let out a long suffering sigh 

 

Harmione reiterated it with, “Honestly Ronald” 

 

Ron shrugged his shoulders cheeks pinkened, “Well nothing happened yet” 

 

Which were famous last words because the next thing they knew they were falling though the floor and somewhere else. It was like appaerating but more dizzying because honestly where the fuck were they. 

 

Harry traced his eyes on the familiar looking structure, “Is this Potter Manor?”

 

Hermione groaned and Ron sighed, “Ok maybe it was sort of my fault” 

 

“Sort of”????

 

Before Hermione could go off on him a bunch of people just randomly teleported near them and Harry was absolutely done with this. 

 

He sighed louder, “we’re in a different universe aren’t we” 

 

Ron couldn’t help but point out, “Well yeah the manor isn’t destroyed and dead people are suddenly alive” 

 

“Who are you” a carbon copy of James Potter barked out 

 

Harry rolled his eyes, “How do we end up in a different worlds it’s getting old like really old” 

 

Hermione muttered darkly, “We need to get rid of that damn mirror” 

 

Ron whistled innocently ignoring the glares from his two lovers and looked back at Harry’s alternate dimension father, “We ended up here accidently” 

 

Harry gave him a stink eye, “yeah because of a certain someone” 

 

Before Ron could say anything back James Potter looked at Harry with curiosity, “You look like me” 

 

Harry rolled his eyes, “Alternate Universe I think we mentioned it” 

 

Ron quipped back, “he’s your son” 

 

Harry whined, “Couldn’t we just drag out a little bit, it was funny the last time” 

 

Hermione eyed the ring on “lord potter’s” finger and pointed out, “It’s one of those world’s again” 

 

Harry wanted to stomp his feet like a two year old, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” 

 

Ron added on, “If they start talking shite about blood i’m going to be spilling some because actually i’m sick of this” 

 

Before the two could rant Hermione turned a critical eye on James Potter, “What are your opinions on muggleborns” 

 

James Potter sputtered whether it in confusion or outrage before more people came forward and goodie it was Charlus  Potter ca-oming forward and Harry wanted to fling something at them because he hated the worlds when people were so classist about blood like pureblood customs this and that. 

 

The absolute fucking hypocrasy that they had talking about culture and then having the audacity on muggleborns ruining it like babes it all you since they want to keep it to themselves so bad. In Harry’s opinion they can keep fucking their family since no one else would want that. Like all the money in the world and they want to act like they're better. 

 

In his opinion he found every bit of it stupid especially when they made last names so bloody important and how pure someone is when you can track there great great great great great grandfather to fucking medivial times. Harry would know it was pathetic because death didn’t really care about all those silly little rituals and mother magic just stated, “magic is magic” anyone could have and dictating those silly little traditions on other people was just plain ridiculous. 

 

Harry couldn’t help but groan, “why do we always get stuck in these shitty worlds, can’t we be somewhere where people are a little decent and not so obviously purists” 

 

Hermione nodded in agreement casting a critical eye at them, “I’m kind of curious on what there going to say though” 

 

Charlus interrupted them, “We are right here”?

 

Ron raised an eyebrow, “so are you going to say something or keep staring us”   

 

Hermione turned to look at ron, ‘You are so dead when we get back home’

 

He dramatically gulped and Harry turned to hide his snickers and cleared his throat,” as much as we could sit here debating each other the three of us do need to figure out how to get back home, Andy expects me to babysit Teddy in three days and this would not be fun to explain”                                                                                                    

 

Hermione snapped her fingered, “We could try defeating ye old noseless, it worked last time”

 

Ron shook his head, “Can’t be that easy, it’s totally something different this time” 

 

Harry groaned, “A hint please your royal deathlyness” 

 

James cleared his throat loudly, “We’re right here”

 

The green eyed boy looked at him sarcastically, “Great we get stuck with the asshole pureblood version of my father” 

 

Ron groaned, “Mate that’s so annoying”

 

Hermione nodded, “Watch them give me like thirty rules for existing”

 

Ron snickered, “remember that shit about your hair” 

 

Harry shuddered, “Don’t even get me started, I wanted to hex that asshole so bad but hermione said no” 

 

Hermione rolled her eyes, “I don’t know man, hexing your godfather would’ve haunted your or something”

 

Ron snorted, “He would’ve lived”

 

Harry nodded grinning before turning too the steadily impatient version of his dad, “What year is it” 

 

James gritted out, “1991”

 

Harry sighed to the heavens, “It’s the twin-verse, I fucking hate the twin-verse” 

 

Ron snorted, “Overpowered heir to 70 houses harry”

 

Charlus interjected, “Who are you the son of child”

 

Harry sputtered, “do they not see the beard” 

 

Ron laughed, “It’s gone”

 

Harry rubbed his face, “Are you shitiing me, why do I look 17 again, well you both look 17 too”

 

Ron groaned and then answered Charlus, “does it matter, we’ve said alternate universe so many time it doesn't matter”

 

James asked suspiciously, “How do you I have twins”

 

Harry looked around clinically, “You live in a manor, I see photos of you another kid and a lady i’ve never seen in my life, you didn’t marry Lily Evans”

 

Jame’s face scrunched in disgust, and Ron rolled his eyes hard, “Save it, no need to spew about impure blood and not respecting mother magic and whatever”

 

Before more could be said a piece of paper blitzed into the room and it simply said 

 

“All three touch”

 

‘All will leave”

 

Harry whooped, “No challenge for once”

 

He then turned to both generation of potters and said, “You both suck as human beings, racism is not cute, your fuckass imaginary culture sucks, muggleborns don’t need to prove shit too you or to be indoctrinated into your weird little religion and stop treating your other son like shit dumbledore's ass kisser”

 

Both Ron and Hermione giggled and said, “What he said” 

 

The two men stood there dumbfounded when the trio grabbed the paper and flashed in a whirl of light. 

 

Soon they were back at that dusty old place and Hermione said with mutiny, “I’m so burning the damn thing”.