Work Text:
Eddie was once proud to say that he’d never, in his life, posted a thirst trap. Alas.
@eddiaz followed @firehose
@eddiaz posted a new photo
@eddiaz liked 3 of @firehose’s photos
Unfollowing his best friend on Instagram just to immediately re-follow him did feel a little drastic, he’ll admit. The whole thing, actually, is feeling quite drastic, but the alternative is telling Buck how he feels and, so, obviously, posting a thirst trap is the better option.
He stares at the screen as his phone vibrates in his hand. Once — buzzz. Twice — buzzz. And then a steady stream of buzzz buzzz buzzz buzzz buzzz buzzz buzzz ing.
He scans the notifications, holding his breath for one specific name.
@chimchimcheroo commented : bring back the ‘stache and we’ll talk
@henshangers commented : 🔥🔥🔥
@kareninspace commented : !!!
@rockstarravi commented: good god
He sighs, and opens his DMs.
@kareninspace to @eddiaz:
Karen: as your friend I have to tell you that none of that was subtle
@henshangers to @eddiaz:
Hen: Hey Eddie, how are you doing?
Here if you ever need to talk about anything
@rockstarravi to @eddiaz:
Ravi: excuse the fuck out of me
edmundo
what is this
Eddie: please don’t make fun of me right now
I need moral support I’m about to do something drastic
Ravi: more drastic than this??
Eddie: is it obvious
Ravi: …
do you want honesty or moral support
Eddie: Moral support
Ravi: no! It’s super in character and on-brand for you and no one noticed!
did that work?
Eddie: He hasn’t even said anything
I’m never gonna be able to look him in the eye again
Ravi: when you said you were gonna tell him I thought you meant with your words
but that’s my mistake
Eddie: I panicked okay
I never said I was good at this
Ravi: fucking hell dude
no one has ever been down this bad
Eddie: Should I delete it
Be honest
Ravi: honestly
i think it’s more embarrassing to delete it
stand by your horny choices man
it takes bravery to be horny on main
Eddie: I need to run some laps or something
Eddie nearly drops his phone when @firehose pops up at the top of his screen.
@firehose to @eddiaz:
Buck: were you not already following me?
Why are you liking my old photos
Did someone hack you?
If the hacker is reading this, sign out of Eddie’s account right now
I have police connections
@eddiaz to @rockstarravi
Eddie: This is mortifying
He thinks I’ve been hacked
Ravi: hang in there bud
@eddiaz to @firehose:
Eddie: haha no not hacked
Just trying something
Buck: oh okay!
Heck yeah, man!
Looking 🔥
@firehose liked @eddiaz’s post
@firehose commented: Looking good, bro!
@rockstarravi to @eddiaz:
Ravi: oof
how you doin man?
Eddie: Don’t talk to me right now
Ravi: god gives his most brutal thirst trap failures to his hottest soldiers
never forget that
@firehose to @eddiaz:
Buck: Who are you thirst trapping
Has she seen it
Eddie: Ravi said it wasn’t obvious :(
Buck: Ravi lied
He does that
More importantly
Why did you tell Ravi about your thirst trap and not me?
Eddie: I didn’t
He was making fun of me
Buck: I’ll chase him with a chainsaw
Eddie: You already did that
Buck: And I’ll do it again
Who are you thirst trapping
Eddie: Guess
Buck: Did Ravi know
Eddie: Yeah
Buck: Is it someone I know?
Eddie: Yep
Buck: Eddie I’m so sorry
Eddie: oh
No it’s okay!
Buck: I’m such a bad best friend I literally have no idea
I can’t believe Ravi knows and I don’t
I don’t have a single guess
Did you tell me??
I can’t believe I forgot
Eddie: oh!
No I didn’t tell you! You didn’t forget
Buck: Okay so who is it?
Eddie: You know what
Never mind
I think I’m just gonna delete it
Buck: No! She’s gonna love it!
Eddie: I’m not doing this over Instagram dms
I’m nearly 40
Buck: Did you give her a little nudge nudge
Like one of her photos or
Wait
Eddie
Wait
Incoming call from Buck
Buck: Sorry haha that was dumb actually
I know that’s not what you meant
You were probably just testing the nudge
Lost my mind for a second
Eddie?
Eddie is already hyperventilating before his knuckles make contact with Buck’s front door. Things can’t really get any more mortifying than they already are, though, so he gathers up his last few shreds of dignity and knocks.
The door swings open and there stands Buck, wide-eyed and mouth ajar.
“Eddie! Hey!” He breathes. “I was just messaging you, and then you stopped replying, so I kept messaging you. Like, a lot, actually. Sorry about that. I imagine you were just driving here. And you’re such a safe driver, so I know you’d never text and drive. Or, Instagram and drive, I guess? Anyway, you can just ignore those messages. Delete them, even. Whatever. It’s all chill. Just - - just chillin’, over here. How are you? Are you - - uh - - chill?”
Eddie blinks. Buck sucks in a much-needed breath.
“Buck?” Eddie breathes.
“Yeah?”
“I really want to kiss you right now and I’m kind of freaking out about it.”
“Um,” Buck swallows. “Okay. Okay. Did you eat something bad?”
“What?” Eddie blinks.
“I don’t know,” Buck frowns. “I don’t know why I said that.”
“Are you trying to diagnose me?” Eddie gapes.
“No!” Buck gasps. “I just - - why?”
“What?”
“Why do you want to, uh, kiss me?”
“Oh,” Eddie says. He shuffles awkwardly in the doorway, where they’re still standing. “Uh. I don’t know. I just really do. Like I almost did five times while you were talking.”
“Okay,” Buck nods slowly. “Maybe it’s just been a while? Pent up?”
“No, I think it’s you,” Eddie admits. “It only happens - - with you.”
“It’s happened before?” Buck asks, his voice jumping up a few octaves.
“Um. Yeah. Can I come in?”
“Oh. Yeah, of course. Come in,” Buck agrees, stepping out of the doorway and clicking the door shut behind him. Eddie now hovers awkwardly on the other side of the doorway.
“Okay,” Buck continues, like he’s solving a math equation. “So what stopped it last time?”
Eddie swallows. “It didn’t.”
Buck stares at him. “Okay. When did it…start?”
“I don’t want to say,” Eddie mumbles.
Buck blinks. “You don’t want to - -” he mouths. “Eddie,” he grins, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Did you try to thirst trap me on Instagram instead of telling me this in person?”
“I don’t want to say,” Eddie repeats, eyes fixed on the floor. “And it didn’t work.”
“It didn’t not work,” Buck says.
Eddie’s eyes snap up to his. “What?”
“I mean I - - I looked at it.”
“You bro-zoned me,” Eddie frowns.
“In my defence,” Buck offers, hands up in surrender. “I thought that was the only zone available.”
“Well, don’t do it again,” Eddie huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Sorry,” Buck chuckles. “Hang on, I’ll - -”
Eddie’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out to see:
@firehose’s comment has been deleted by the user
@firehose commented: damn someone call 911 the smoke detector is going OFF 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Eddie scoffs. “Okay, we don’t need to do that.”
@firehose commented: is anyone else hearing Whatta Man in their head while staring at this?
Eddie’s face flames. His heart does a backflip in his chest. “Buck. These are not good.”
“I know,” Buck grins. “I’m out-embarrassing you. Can’t let you be embarrassed alone.”
@firehose commented: I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't let you bring in your own snacks
@firehose commented: Are you tired? You've been running through my mind all day
@firehose commented: It’s a good thing you already restarted my heart once because you’re gonna need to do it again
“Okay. Okay,” Eddie chuckles, trying to wrestle Buck’s phone from his hands. “That’s enough.”
Buck has a good grip on his phone, so Eddie doesn’t really get a hold of it. Their hands end up tangled together around the phone. Neither of them let go.
“Last one’s true, though,” Buck whispers. “Kinda feel like I’m about to go into cardiac arrest.”
“Well don’t do that,” Eddie says softly.
“It wouldn’t be so bad,” Buck shrugs. “You’d probably give me mouth to mouth.”
“Jesus Christ, Buck,” Eddie chuckles.
“Sorry,” Buck grins.
“That’s even worse than all the other ones.”
“Not my finest work, I’ll admit.”
Eddie looks down at their tangled hands.
“Is there an option where you kiss me without reminding me about the time you died in front of me?”
“Yep!” Buck offers brightly. “Yes. Yeah, there is.”
“Great. I’ll take that one, thanks.”
Buck pulls him in by their tangled hands. Eddie falls forward, sucks in a surprised breath, and lands in an alternate universe where Buck’s kissing him in his doorway, his phone vibrating wildly between them.
Eddie lifts his chin and Buck sighs and it’s wonderful, it’s everything, and my god is Buck’s phone buzzing in their hands. Buck, to his credit, completely ignores it as he rewrites Eddie’s worldview with each press of his lips.
It’s not until later, when they’re squished together on the couch, that Buck checks his phone and starts giggling against Eddie’s chest.
@chimchimcheroo replied to @firehose’s comment: MY EYES
@rockstarravi replied to @firehose’s comment: oh thank fuck
@rockstarravi replied to @firehose’s comment: like don’t get me wrong these are some of the worst pick up lines i’ve ever seen
@rockstarravi replied to @firehose’s comment: but a win is a win
@kareninspace replied to @firehose’s comment: !!!!!
@henshangers replied to @firehose’s comment: Get these out of your system before next shift pls. Love you both <3