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For most of Shadwell’s life, he’d followed standard operating procedures. After joining the Witchfinder Army as a young man, he’d read the handbook, the amended rules, and every other set of rules for the WA he could get his hands on. A collection of the oldest manuals rested somewhere in the bungalow even now, set aside for the day when someone might call on his services.
He was retired, aye. But according to the Witchfinder Army regulations, any retired officer could be recalled to active duty at any time by a ranking officer. And as he was both retired and the ranking officer, he kept an eye out for threats that might necessitate a return to action.
So far, he hadn’t found any substantial threats in the new neighborhood, although he was keeping his eye on a witchy lass who lived down the road from them. She was a wee bit older than his Tracy, and had a black cat that she called funny names, and grew all manner of suspicious herbs in her garden.
He was out on a patrol of the neighborhood now while Tracy was doing a bit of baking. He’d have been just as happy to stay in with her, but she urged him to go for a stroll to shake off the restlessness that had built up while he grappled with his current trouble.
It was a good idea. When it came to handling nerves, there was nothing like inspecting the neighborhood for signs of devilry and the forces of darkness.
Searching for evil was no longer all he did with his time. Sometimes, he helped in the kitchen and always in the garden, although he hardly knew a carrot from a turnip. But Tracy liked to cook and bake, and he liked to do things with Tracy, so he was trying his best to learn. The kitchen came with cookbooks, with clear instructions, and he took comfort in learning the usual procedures.
Gardening was something they’d just now started doing together, and he eyed the hedges with pride as he strolled back to the bungalow. Gardening was more complicated than surveilling the neighbors or baking, although to a certain degree, it could be refined to a science. Books and manuals could tell him when to plant, how to tell if something was ready to harvest, or how to properly amend the soil.
The trouble he was grappling with, though, couldn’t be so easily solved by reading a manual and doing things by the numbers. Oh, aye, plenty of books at the nearby library purported to be a handy guide to the ways of the heart, but in Shadwell’s eyes, the books might as well have been from a different universe altogether.
After all, these so-called manuals lacked the most important information. What good was a guide to relationships if it didn’t tell you how to protect your woman from demons and warlocks and all manner of hostile creatures?
He had gotten one good bit of advice from the last one he looked through, and he paused in the garden on his way home. He looked over all the flowers that he and Tracy had been growing together, then carefully selecting a smattering of beautiful bright blossoms. Bringing a bouquet to the woman of the house seemed a tactic that would lead to success, since he and Tracy both liked flowers.
Proud, he marched inside with the bouquet and presented it to Tracy. “For you, lass.”
“Oh, Mr. S!” Beaming at him, Tracy set down a ceramic dish, then took off her oven mitts and accepted the flowers. “Oh, isn’t that so nice? They’ll look so lovely as a centerpiece.”
“Oh, aye,” Shadwell said, uncertain. He had a vague feeling that centerpieces were sinful, at least when they were in magazines. Or was that centerfolds? “Er, so you do like flowers? Receivin’ flowers, I mean.”
“I certainly do. That’s so sweet of you, dear.” With a look of unparalleled joy, Tracy took the flowers to the counter. She put them in a vase with water and set them in the center of the dinner table. “Did you have a good walk?”
“No incursions o’ evil to report,” Shadwell said proudly. He hesitated, then charged ahead. All battles should be confronted once they’d been analyzed on a tactical level, rather than endlessly delaying out of fear. “I had some time t’ consider the state o’ things while I was out.”
Tracy took down plates, then gave him a curious look. “The state of the neighborhood?”
“Er, no. The truth o’ the matter is… I’ve read a fair few books on certain topic now, research, ye understand, but they’ve not answered the most important question.” Shadwell drew a deep breath, then caught Tracy’s hand and held it. “Are ye happy, lass? I dinna have any experience in matters o’ love. Is there anything I should be doin’?”
“Oh, Mr. Shadwell. You old silly, of course I’m happy!” Tracy gave a little laugh, the sort of kind, affectionate laugh that warmed him right through. She cupped his cheek, stretched to kiss him, and then beamed again. “All you should do is be yourself, love. That’s all I want.”
Shadwell considered it, then nodded. That made more sense than anything he’d read in those so-called manuals. “Aye, I can do that. I’ve a proposal for ye, then.”
“What sort of proposal, love?”
He leaned in close, whispering it to her. “After dinner, will ye go on a wee patrol with me? There’s suspicious activity at the neighbor’s lair. Her black cat looked at me with what might be ill intent.”
“Oh, Mr. Shadwell!” Tracy gazed up at him with the utmost adoration. “Why, I can’t think of anything I’d like better.”
Proud, Shadwell drew her into another kiss, this one long and lingering. Taking Tracy on patrol with him would be a great pleasure for them both, and guarding his woman against evil was something that he already knew how to do well. He’d faced down the Devil Himself for her, after all, and suspicious neighbors didn’t stand a chance.