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Rumours and gossip about celebrities had always held high interest within the entertainment industry, to the point that many journalism groups were formed and raced against each other to investigate and deliver the fastest breaking news. Among the hottest topics, dating gossip was particularly well-circulated—a surprise to no one. Praised as the leading expert agency in this field, the Expedite—as they called themselves—had finally arrived at the Ceoren campus ground, seeking to bring light and the absolute truth to the latest celebrity gossip.
Their target? None other than the famed Professor Ludger Cherish.
Their reason? A woman was rumoured to have been spotted entering and leaving his apartment by multiple Ceoren students and local residents at the most suspicious time of the day.
Identifying the said woman was no easy task. Despite camping all day long over the entire week, the Expedite team caught no sight of their suspect. Aside from a few brief visits by Chancellor Elisa Willow and an oddly familiar doll-like teenage girl, who it would be illegal to take into consideration, there was no other woman seen around the area.
Well, sans them.
The lone, overworked Expedite journalist slash investigator—codename ‘Greta’—glimpsed pitifully at a group of ladies gathering in front of the Professor’s residence—likely his fangirls who were also trying to confirm a particular rumour on the street, using a much more… aggressive method.
It had always been like this every morning.
They came in a group, banging on the door, always yelling and protesting about something.
Had they no fear of the Professor’s wrath? Not to mention…
Why would a professor of an academy even have a fan club?
Anyway, it’d be best to distance myself from them… just in case.
Leaning against a nearby tree in the backyard, the young investigator hid their presence with magic, then lazily pulled out their notes of the interviewed witnesses.
First, let’s revisit what we already know:
- They have never been spotted together. Professor Ludger has always been seen travelling to and from his place alone. As expected, he wouldn't be the type to make careless mistakes.
- The presence of the other party was heavily rumoured. No confirmed eyewitnesses were sure of what they saw since the alleged woman would seemingly disappear into thin air as soon as she sensed she was being followed. What, is our target some sort of cryptid?
- It’s always foggy or rainy during the sightings, making any meaningful observation extremely difficult. How convenient.
All in all, there weren't a lot of clues to work with in the first place. The entire operation wholly relied on the intelligence provided by some anonymous source that the Boss insisted that they must trust without asking why. However, considering the available evidence—or lack thereof, they might end up going on a wild goose chase after all.
“Ha… I fought all my way through just to get selected for this case since it seems interesting given the high-profile target, but has this been a mistake after all?”
Greta couldn’t hold back their sardonic laugh as they stuffed away their notebook and cast their bored gaze towards the mass that had now besieged a certain someone’s private property, almost admiring their tenacity.
Drip.
Drip..
Drip…
Incidentally, small raindrops also started scatteredly falling from the gloomy sky.
That’s odd. According to the weather forecast, today was supposed to be sunny all day.
In a short moment, the light drizzle soon became heavy, forcing the gathered crowd to dissipate. Previously an impenetrable fortress sharing one common goal, it was now every person for themselves and by themselves against the merciless downpour.
Ten minutes passed by with not even a soul in sight…
The empty streets now resembled those of a ghost town hidden away just behind a silent hill. The air became increasingly denser and cooler, forming wind chills that snaked all around the blocks and through every corner.
“B-b-brrr…”
Perhaps I should call it a day as well. I might die frozen in this place before I manage to score any scoop.
With that thought, Greta swiftly headed towards the library nearby to seek refuge from the freezing rain. The fog was getting thicker and thicker with every second going by.
“Damnabit, I couldn’t see anyth—”
THWACK! CRACK—CREEEAK... rustle rustle.
Unable to dodge the low-hanging tree branch before them in time, the unfortunate journalist yelped out before falling motionlessly onto the ground with an audible thump.
“Hhh…”
Suddenly, everything went black.
“(Mumbles)…thank goodness they are…(mumbles)…gone. It would be…(mumbles)…if I got caught like this.”
Greta slowly opened their eyes to a soft whisper close by, hazily becoming aware of the throbbing pain in their forehead.
What happened? Did I black out?
Although the rain had stopped for some while, the fog just only started thinning out. From afar, a murder of crows echoed ominous cawing.
“Is this necessary?” A weary voice addressed his conversational companion.
“Do you even have to ask? Unlike you, who could just run away whenever, I do have a reputation to maintain.”
Greta quietly pulled themself up, trying to catch a glimpse of the two mysterious figures.
That silhouette… Even the aura… There was no doubt. Professor Ludger Cherish!
And the woman… Hmm? That outfit… The black umbrella… No way. Detective Casey Selmore?!
Sensing the hugest scoop of the decade, the bright journalist, confident in their military-grade camouflage magic, sneaked closer for the best shot. After all, the Expedite was not ranked #1 in their field for nothing. Though, little did they know how irrelevant that would be as they were soon cruelly betrayed by the natural weakness of every human being.
“Hh—hhACH—AAAACHOOOO!”
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.
“Who goes there?!” In an instant, water spears and arrows formed and flew towards the illusory bush that surely wasn’t supposed to be able to sneeze.
“Eekk! Please, spare me—I mean no harm!!!” yelped Greta, reverting to their true form—frantically leaping backwards and holding up their hands that were still covered in their own nasal mucus in surrender.
Puzzled by the meek behaviour and ridiculous appearance of her ‘assassin’, Casey Selmore promptly withdrew her magic and slowly approached to take a better look at the mean-no-harm intruder.
“Active fit. Writer's callus. Camera bag—Dammit. A paparazzi, of all people.” The detective concluded.
“Excuse you. I’d consider myself more of a private investigator.” Despite just now being caught in the most embarrassing state, the prideful journalist couldn’t resist defending themself from the negative connotation of the word ‘paparazzi’.
“Ah, is that so? Well then, my dear fellow ‘private investigator’, may I ask what you are investigating?” Casey smirked.
“That's… uhh, eh… a top secret.” The not-paparazzi's gaze briefly dashed from Ludger to Casey before averting away. This alone was enough as an answer.
“I’ve already told you, didn’t I? It was just a matter of time before someone would find out. Why even bother going in and out of the back door like some sort of a criminal? All this shadiness only makes it sketchier.” Ludger chewed on as though it was a recurring subject. Meanwhile, Casey—who was now unable to deny his words—could only respond with an indignant huff.
As hiding their intent was no longer necessary, the daring investigator pushed their luck and went straight to the topic. “So it is true then, Professor? That you are in a relationship with Detective Casey Selmore?”
At that question, both Ludger and Casey exchanged confused looks at each other.
“I’m not sure what you mean by ‘in a relationship’? What kind?”
“What do you mean ‘what kind’?” This time, Greta was the one being puzzled.
Surely they are not playing dumb?
The journalist clarified, “Are you and Detective Casey Selmore dating each other?”
“Where did you get such an absurd idea?” Ludger sneered almost instantly.
“Yeah, who in their right mind would wanna date this guy?” Casey added—her annoyance was evident.
‘Uh, almost everyone on the continent?’ was what Greta wanted to say, but forced themself to clam up. Still, they couldn’t help but feel the need to defend their sanity.
“...There were recent rumours that you were seen multiple times in Professor Ludger Cherish’s apartment.” Greta bluffed. “Did I not also catch you both red-handed just now?”
“How strange. Then, would you say I’m dating every guest visiting my place? Every woman I’m seeing?” Ludger offered critical reasoning.
“Right. Am I not allowed to make some casual visits to an associate?” Casey also complained.
“Eh? Uhh, I didn’t mean that… But then, what would be the reason for all this secrecy?”
“I'd like to enjoy some privacy in my life—That’s all.” Casey folded her arms defensively. One wouldn’t even need a mind-reading superpower to tell that it was absolutely not the whole truth.
Ludger slightly arched his brows.
“Isn’t that a bit rich coming from y—Hrgh!” The poor professor grunted shut as he received a hearty kick in the ankle from Casey.
Well, this was certainly perplexing.
I didn’t expect they would be picking this approach.
Most celebrity couples exposed by the Expedite would normally resort to bribing just to prevent their secrets from being disclosed to the public—after all, this was how every agency in this field funded their operations. It was widely known that the moment the Expedite had set its sight on someone, they would never be able to escape from its claws, and yet…
Are they really planning to deny it until the very end?
I don’t know what they are plotting, but let’s only observe for now.
In any case, it would make sense, wouldn’t it? Professor Ludger Cherish and Detective Casey Selmore were both famous influencers in their own field and had a broad impact worldwide. It would not be too much of a stretch to imagine they knew each other somewhere and kept in touch. As the journalist silently pondered over the math of possibilities and probabilities, Casey and Ludger had already naturally returned to their previous conversation as if there was no third party present.
“Hey, after you drop off your stuff here, why don’t we get something for lunch?”
“I don't feel like cooking today, so let's just dine out at the Simpsons.”
“Haven’t we already been there last week? Go somewhere else.”
“Beggars can't be choosers.” Just when Casey was about to protest, Ludger promptly cut her off, “You can do the cooking if you don't like it.”
“Heh, not a problem. I’ve been craving some sweets, and I recently got a cheesecake recipe that I would like to try out—”
“No.”
“What?”
“No.” Ludger affirmed again. “The last time you attempted to ‘bake’, you almost burnt down the kitchen because you mistook crack for sugar. I will not even ask why you had a bag of crack lying around in the pantry, but who on Earth has cakes for lunch?”
“Damn, god forbid women do anything.”
“Not in my kitchen.” Ludger corrected. “You are more than welcome to do it at your own place.”
“Ugh. Stop adding salt to the wounds. You already knew very well that I couldn’t get one!” Casey grumbled. “Why else did I agree to stay at your place!?”
“Wait, hold on. Detective Casey, you are actually living with Professor Ludger?” Greta blurted, no longer able to hold back their curiosity about this increasingly bizarre conversation.
Seeing Casey scowling harder, Ludger kindly explained in her stead, “Detective Casey is running away from home because her sister, Marias Selmore, keeps pressuring her to get married. And in retaliation, Marias suspended her allowances as well.” Casey shot Ludger a death glare as if to tell him to shut up, however, it went completely unacknowledged. “So for now our world-famous detective is homeless and will be couch surfing until she finds a husband—”
“Not. Gonna. Happen.”
“—or affords a new place that also tolerates her eccentricity.” Ludger finished.
“I will give you 5 million denars if you breathe not a word of this to anyone.” Casey promptly ignored Ludger to address the journalist.
“...I'm sorry?”
“Tsk. You want more? Fine, 10 million.”
“No, I—”
“Where are you even gonna get 10 million denars?” Ludger interjected.
“From your bank account, of course. It’s barely one-third of your starting monthly salary, isn’t it?” Casey stated matter-of-factly.
“Fine, but let it be known that I will chalk this up as another debt.”
“What, no. It was all your fault that they now knew about our deed. No debt.”
“In the first place, you were the one who did not check the area thoroughly and got us caught. Half debt.”
“Ugh. Whatever. Bill it to my sister if you think you can convince her to pay. So—” Casey turned to the journalist “—do we have a deal?”
“I…uhh…I suppose that should be all fine and well, but…”
“But…?”
“...There is something else I’m curious about.”
“?” Casey gestured for them to continue.
“Detective Casey… don’t you have a job?”
“Sigh. Everyone keeps asking me this. How much do you really think I get paid as a private detective?”
“Well, that’s on you, isn’t it? Stop working for free,” nagged Ludger.
“I’ve already told you many times. What kind of person do you think I am? Do you think justice is for sale?” Casey jabbed back.
“You should get a side job or come up with something, then. FYI, I have been generously lending you my bedroom without even putting it on the tab.”
Wait—
“Hmph. If you didn’t like it so much, then perhaps you should have thought about it more thoroughly before offering.”
—what?!
“...Professor, you and Detective Casey are sharing a bedroom?”
Despite trying their best to calm themself, the question came out more shakily than they wished.
“It can't be helped. The guest room is practically inhospitable because a certain someone keeps performing questionable experiments in her living space.” Ludger lamented as though he was having a recurring headache.
“What do you mean ‘questionable’? Many of them are groundbreaking discoveries that have contributed a great deal to forensic science!”
“Do them somewhere else.”
“Somewhere else? Where? It's not like you would let me be anywhere near your home lab.” Casey huffed.
“Because you almost blew it up by mixing random, unlabelled concoctions you found Gods know where. Why did you even do that?”
“...For science?” At Ludger’s disapproving gaze, Casey quickly waved it off. “Stop being a worrywart. I have full control of it—I'm the Jade Mage, you know!”
Knowing that winning this conversation might be impossible, Ludger could only sigh and turned to the journalist.
“...Anyway, since the only spare bedroom has now been repurposed as Casey’s home lab, I let her use mine when I am away—that’s all.”
Casey nodded in agreement, “Our schedules are different like night and day, so there is no issue. He doesn’t even stay in there more than four hours a day. The room was so plain and empty that I was the one who brought in the decorations. Can you believe it?”
Both of them just casually confirmed that they were living together as though it wasn’t gonna start the biggest scandal on the continent. However, their reasoning was so firm and sincere that it didn’t seem like they were lying.
No matter how great an actor one was, would this level of nonchalance even be possible?
As the poor journalist was still trying to make sense of their newly acquired information, the conversation between Ludger and Casey had already drifted elsewhere.
“—You know, we gotta do something about them. This has been the third instance for the week, and it’s only Wednesday. How am I supposed to sleep if they keep banging on the door throughout the day?!”
“Well, there is not much that we can do on that front. They can’t be more annoying than the suitors being sent your way.”
“You are exaggerating.”
“No, I’m not.” As he spoke, Ludger fixed his gaze at something behind Casey, causing her to turn around as well. Her ears perked up at the soft and steady clopping closing in on them.
“Huh, it sounds like horse hooves…”
Suddenly jumping out from the misty fog and stopping just right in front of them was an undeniably handsome, blond man in an elegant black suit with pocket square and a neat ascot tie riding on his white stallion—no doubt giving the impression of an esteemed noble. His lavender eyes singled out and fixated on a certain lady.
“Lady Selmore! At long last, destiny has conspired in my favour and guided me to your brilliant presence once more!”
Almost immediately at the sight of the said noble, Casey muttered a curse under her breath, irritation arising and barely contained. In a swift motion, the aristocrat hopped off his steed and moved to take her hand for a kiss—or at least attempted to—before he slipped on an icy patch and landed on his behind with a loud thud that would surely leave a mark.
…Has the ice always been there?
Spooked by the sudden movement, the horse reeled back on its hind legs and whinnied before sprinting away, effectively abandoning its own owner who was now struggling to recompose himself.
“Viscount Alastair, dare I ask what brought you here?” Casey didn’t bother to conceal her languid sigh. She was half-wondering how he even found her at this place, but the question was as quickly brushed aside as it came, as she had an inkling that she would not like the answer.
“Milady, I have returned yet again to bestow upon you the honour of my company, for a world devoid of our encounters would be a world most wretched indeed.”
“Viscount, we have already gone through this a hundred times. I was certain that you would know my answer by now.” Casey got straight to the point, clearly tired of it all.
“I understand. Take all the time that your heart desires, for I shall stand steadfast, awaiting your embrace even unto the waning twilight of existence and the crumbling of eternity itself.”
Casey rubbed her temples, her patience wearing thin, “I suppose you are also not gonna take my no for an answer then?”
“Ah, but who among us has not ever been led astray by fleeting whims? Fret not, Milady, for as long as I remain patient and unwavering in my devotion, I am positive that in due time, your heart shall guide you to the only conclusion that the Fates have long since written.”
For a brief moment, a homicidal thought crossed Casey’s mind, but she opted against chasing it, albeit visibly struggling. The tense silence passed between them as all eyes were on Casey, awaiting her response with bated breath.
“Very well,” Casey answered with her most innocent-looking smile that would alarm anyone knowing her well. The Viscount, on the other hand, glistened brightly at those words.
“I will make a note of your…devotion—” Casey declared with finality “—if you manage to defeat this guy.” With mischief glinting in her eyes, she pointed at Ludger, who had shown no change to his seemingly apathetic expression since the Viscount’s sudden appearance.
“As you decree, Milady! For your word is law, and I am but a humble servant to your will!” The Viscount acknowledged Casey’s words with an ostentatious bow, then swiftly turned to Ludger with fiery confidence in his eyes, completely oblivious to his impending demise.
"You there! I care not for who you are as your name is likely but a whisper lost to the winds of insignificance. You dare to stand against none other than the illustrious Viscount of Bruite? Foolish wretch! I shall not suffer your impudence a moment longer! By the sacred honour of my lineage and the unyielding fire of my devotion, I hereby challenge you to a magical duel for my beloved Casey’s hand in marriage—for she is a jewel far too radiant to be sullied by the grasp of one so unworthy as you arGHAAAAAA—!"
No sooner had the poor aristocrat finished his sentence and barely managed to grab his wand from his inner pocket than Ludger had already activated his Source Code and sent the man flying for a good hundred yards.
“Yikes. A fourth-circle spell? You’re overdoing it.” Casey observed the consequence of her spontaneous little prank, almost feeling pity for the unsuspecting victim.
[Wanderer's Hand] was a wing magic so powerful that it could easily blow away huge boulders and cars with sheer force. Fully taking the direct hit, Viscount Alastair would likely have to stay hospitalized for a couple of days, no matter how great a mage he boasted himself to be.
“It’s better to wrap it up fast. We’ve already wasted enough time as is.”
“Still, he is an influential figure in the Kingdom of Seville. The House of Bruite won’t let you be when they hear about this.” Casey voiced her concerns.
“Never mind all that. We will have to skip lunch if we don’t go now.” Ludger reminded Casey as he checked his pocket watch.
“Hmm…true. We still have to pick up the dresses from the House of Verdi for the wedding.”
“The wedding?!” Although it echoed their thought, those words did not come from the journalist.
“Professor Ludger Cherish, is it true that you are about to get married?!”
“Say it ain't so! How am I supposed to live now?!?!”
“I love you, Mr. Ludger Cherish!!!”
“No, he has to marry me!”
Engrossed in their banter, both Ludger and Casey realized too late that the thick fog Casey cast around them for “secrecy” purposes was all blown away by Ludger’s magic earlier, and that they had now been surrounded by his fan club once more. It seemed that these ladies had jumped to a strange, imaginative conclusion on their own after overhearing some intriguing keywords such as “marriage” and “wedding”. The gathered crowd grew more and more massive by the minute. Surely not all bachelorettes of the entire Rederbelke had come to see them? To see him?
“Uhh, shouldn’t we—you do something about this?” Eyes still rapidly blinking in disbelief, Casey instinctively took a step back, yielding the stage to the main character of the event, who had since opted to remain silent as he observed the situation.
After a moment spent searching—nay—calculating for an appropriate response, Ludger eventually turned to Casey.
“I just realised that I forgot something at Hans’ place, so why don’t you go ahead?”
“Eh?”
“The lunch is on me. Just tell them to put it on my tab.”
“Hey—”
“See you at the wedding. Don’t be late—Your sister won’t like it.”
“—wait a second!”
Before Casey could even stop him, Ludger had already cloaked himself in Ater Nocturnus and teleported miles away, leaving her fate in the hands of his fangirls, who were now fiercely staring daggers and ready to close in on her.
“Ha...Hahaha...”
Casey couldn’t help but wryly laugh at the ridiculousness of her situation.
Well-played.
That bastard of a man had decided to throw her out to the wolves as a distraction to run away and save his own hide, all the while also repaying her for the prank earlier. Facing immense pressure as all eyes were now glued on her, waiting for an explanation that not even she herself was certain that she could convincingly give, Casey momentarily froze before adrenaline finally kicked in, urging her to cover her tracks and book it after Ludger in her [Mermaid’s Raincoat].
As the two main characters were gone, the ravenous crowd soon also disbanded in all directions, continuing to search for their poor prey while the confused journalist was left behind, still trying to process the situation that had recently unfolded.
What in the world just happened?
“...Well, not that it actually matters now anyhow.”
With a sigh of resignation, Greta pulled out a sheet of paper and started filling in their report for the day.
Subjects: Ludger Cherish & Casey Selmore
Relationship status: Unknown
Note: It is unclear whether or not they were lovers, but there was one thing that could be said with almost certainty—They were both one hell of a freaking idiot.