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“This is great!” I exclaim. “I’m finally free from the oppressive weight of societal expectations! It's like the whole world is singing!”
“Mabel, I wouldn't call that singing.” Dipper says uncomfortably.
“Singing, screaming, same difference.” I shrug. “Right Bill?”
“Yeah, yeah!” Bill replied from where he sits on the throne made of petrified humans. “Screaming is music to my ears!” Bill leaves to talk with one of his henchmaniacs, the amorphous shape one that I'm not even sure Dipper can see.
“His voice is so obnoxious!” Dipper groans. “Why are we listening to a sentient triangle?”
“Actually, I think you mean sapient.” I yelp; I hadn't noticed Ford’s arrival at all. “Sentient just means the ability to feel, while sapient means a being capable of complex thought. Though, Bill would fall into both those categories. Presumably.”
“How did you sneak up on me so fast?” I ask.
“Actually, I was summoned by the need to overexplain things.” Ford explains. “My muse is quite powerful, so he gave me that ability. Now, I can correct any grammar mistakes, anywhere.”
“Your muse?” I say. “You must be in love with him! Everyone look! Ford's in love with Bill!”
“Hey, kid.” Pyronica approaches me. “If you think that your uncle can pull Bill, you're crazy. That bitch won't date anyone- every time someone asks him out, he just says some bullshit about doing paperwork to figure out his sexual orientation.”
“Pyronica, don't swear in front of the kids!” Ford exclaims. I agree with him, it makes me kind of uncomfortable.
“Well, Bill’s philosophy is do whatever the fuck you want, so I'm gonna do that. See ya later fuckers!” She sashays away, flipping us off as she leaves.
“Wow.” Dipper says. “Bill’s friends are a whole bunch of freaks.” For the first time, I actually agree with Dipper about Bill.
“So, about those powers.” I look at Ford. “Can Bill give me any?”
“I'll see what I can do.” Ford says. “BILLLLL!!!!” He screams at the top of his lungs. Seeing Dipper’s look of confusion, Ford adds, “That's just my way of getting him over here. He'll hear it.”
“Yeesh, Stanford, what's the big deal?” Bill arrives, looking mildly annoyed. “You that clingy?”
“Well, my niece Mabel saw the powers I have.” Ford explains. “She was wondering if you could think of something for her.”
“Hmm…” Bill seems to think it over for a moment. “Oh, why the heck not! Boom!” He zaps me blue lighting. It doesn't hurt, instead giving me a boost of energy.
“Woah!” I exclaim. I could run in circles all day with this!
“What can you do?” Dipper asks.
“I'm not sure.” I say. “Maybe I can move stuff with my mind.” I take off my headband and throw it on the floor, several feet away from me.
“Okay, let's do this!” I will the headband to move, but nothing happens. “Come on, headband, over here.” Still, nothing happens. “Bill! How do I use these?”
“Oh, it's simple, Headband.” Bill replies. “You just gotta snap your fingers, and you'll be able to bend reality however you like.”
“Bill, about that…” Dipper says. “Mabel doesn't actually know how to snap.”
“Dipper! Don't tell him that! It's embarrassing!” I say. “I think I can do it. I'll learn to snap. It can't be that hard.” I try to do it, but I just can't get the movement right. I'm so focused that I hardly hear Dipper walking away.
“Bill, if I may interject, I don't see why Mabel would specifically have to snap.” Ford says. “I've seen you do plenty of stuff in the dreamscape just by waving your hands. Also, if you can read minds, wouldn't you know that she can't snap?”
Bill laughed. “Of course I know that! I was just messing with you, Headband!”
I sigh in frustration. “Seriously? It shouldn't be this hard to use powers! Can't I just clap instead of snapping?”
“Okay, fine, yeesh kid. The powers aren't actually based on snapping. It's about how much you want something, and how well you can envision it in your mind.” Bill says. “Imagination is key.”
“Oh.” I say. “Well, I have a good imagination. So why isn't it working!?”
“Perhaps you need a stronger motivator.” Ford ponders.
“Get away from me, you freak!” Dipper yells, as she runs away from Pyronica.
Pyronica laughs. “I think Teeth needs a new snack.”
Immediately, I lift the headband from where it lays several feet away from me, throwing it into Pyronica’s face. “Stay away from my twin!”
“What the hell?” Pyronica says. “I wasn't going to actually feed her to Teeth! I was just teasing!”
“Wow!” I exclaim, as Dipper runs to my side. “Dipper, it actually worked. Yeah, screw you, Pyronica! You can suck it!”
“You know what?” Pyronica says. “Maybe, if you're gonna be like that, then I should fight you! Bring it on, bitch!”
“Fine!” I exclaim. “It's on! Let's see what else I can DO!” Pyronica throws the headband at me, and I teleport behind her, floating in the air, hit her on the back of the head, and then teleport back to Dipper’s side in time to catch the headband in my hand. Nice.
“Hey, hey, stop!” Ford exclaims. “Those are my nieces you’re messing with!”
“Oh yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?” Pyronica laughs. “I have far more power than you, even if that kid is fast.”
“Fordsy is right, Pyronica.” Bill approaches us. “You really shouldn't mess with these guys. Though, it'd be fun to see you try. See how you do against Headband, maybe. She's good already, and she got the push she needed to learn her powers. But for now, leave us alone.”
“Ugh! Fine!” Pyronica says. “Fuck you all!” She flips us off as she walks away.
Bill laughs. “I wouldn't fuck her.”
“What does that mean?” I ask. Dipper and Bill look very amused.
“Don't worry about that, Mabel.” Ford says. “Because now, you've unlocked your powers. Imagine everything you could do with them. All the possibilities. It's not even close to as much power as my muse, but it's still good.”
“Thanks, Uncle Ford!” I say, teleporting over to him to hug him. Dipper runs over to join in, arriving a few seconds later than me. We separate from our hug, and I talk to Dipper:
“Dipper, this is amazing.” I say. “I knew ruling the world would be good, but I never expected it to be this fun. Thank you, for giving me this opportunity.”
“Of course.” Dipper says. “I don't know why I ever doubted you. Anything for my favorite sister.”
“Thanks, Dipper. You're my favorite sister as well.”
Ford laughs. “Wow, seems a bit mean to Valentina, right?”
“Nah, Valentina isn't my twin.” Dipper says.
“Yeah.” I agree. “Valentina is just a lame goody two shoes anyway. Her and dad are no fun. I know who my real family is, and it's the people who would end the world to make me happy.”
“Pines! Pines! Pines!”