Chapter Text
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Chapter 1
“We should get married,” Carmy said as he and Syd shared watermelon moonshine they’d stolen from Richie and Mikey’s secret stash.
Syd laughed. “What on earth would you want to marry me for?”
“So I can kiss you whenever I want,” Carmy answered, smiling at her and taking another sip of the watermelon moonshine, the alcohol warmed his throat and chest. He took a lime wedge and sucked on it.
But it was a joke between them that started when they were kids. He’d asked her to marry him when they were just ten, and when she’d asked why he wanted to marry her, he’d answered it was to kiss her whenever he wanted. She had kissed him right on the mouth after he’d said that, and they had been inseparable ever since. Loving her for the rest of his life was the only thing that made sense to him.
“Besides, we have so much to do before we can even think about getting married,” Syd said, taking the mason jar from him and taking a drink, rolling her eyes as the lukewarm liquid slid down her throat. “We’re starting at Johnson & Wales in the fall, and you said you want to open a restaurant and get a Michelin star.”
“We can do that together. Lots of couples open places together.”
“I know that,” Syd said, rolling her eyes again. “But don’t you think we should make a name for ourselves first? We’re only eighteen.”
Carmy knew she had big dreams of stars and awards and being on covers of magazines. Of being a contestant on Chopped one day, opening a place of her own on Broad Street. He only dreamed about her, though sometimes he talked to his brother Mikey about opening a restaurant together. Him and Syd and Mikey, and another fine dining establishment in Charleston.
But Mikey didn’t seem interested in anything other than selling barbecue out of a hole in the wall with Richie. He wouldn’t even let Carmy and Syd help on weekends or during the summer, even though they’d both volunteered to give a hand.
“It’s not that I don’t love you,” Syd said, maybe noticing the look of rejection on his face. “I do. I love you more than I love anybody except my dad. I just don’t think we should get married now.”
“I wasn’t talkin’ about fucking getting married tomorrow,” Carmy mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, he was feeling sweaty, and his rented tux was starting to stick to him, the heat making him feel nauseous. He wanted to go somewhere with air conditioning but he also wanted to be sitting on the beach with Syd, waiting for the sun to rise.
“Besides, you can kiss me whenever you want right now,” Syd pointed out, interrupting his heat-addled thoughts. “We don’t have to get married for you to do it.”
Carmy turned to her and gave her half a smile. “Yeah, I know.”
“Well, go on and do it then!” Syd ordered.
“Yes, ma’am,” Carmy said, leaning in, more than happy to comply.
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Carmy startled awake, a gentle hand shaking his shoulder, clearing the last dregs of the dream from his mind.
“We’ll be landing soon, sir. Could you please buckle up?” The flight attendant who had woken him up requested her voice professional.
Carmy rubbed his face, trying to shake the weariness that had fallen over him since his flight had taken off in Chicago. He nodded. “Heard,” he said as he reached for his buckle and strapped in, then took a sip from the Coke he had been working on the whole flight; it was warm and watery from neglect. He put it back in the cupholder and sighed.
The dread he had been feeling multiplied, he hadn’t been home in so long, too busy with work to do so. But his older sister was getting married, and she had begged him to attend the wedding. Then her husband-to-be had asked him to be a groomsman and before he knew it, he was agreeing to go back to Charleston for fourteen days.
He had been too busy to regret or second-guess his decision to go home, but now, as the plane descended, all he wanted to do was get back on a return flight to Chicago and bury himself in work again.
He wondered if he could actually do that, but he also knew that Mikey would be waiting for him outside the airport, and he would quite literally go after him for skipping town. For skipping out on Natalie, and Carmy didn’t want to disappoint Sugar.
So, he exited the plane, collected his luggage, and made his way out into the warm South Carolina sunshine. He shed his coat, draping it over his arm; he had forgotten how warm it could get even in March.
He shielded his eyes, scanning the waiting cars, searching for Mikey. It only took a few seconds, and then he spotted him, waving him over enthusiastically, his arms draped around a petite blonde. Carmy gripped the handle on his suitcase and hoisted his Ralph Lauren duffle up higher on his shoulder as he made his way over to his brother.
“There he is!” Mikey said boisterously, releasing the girl and throwing his arms around Carmy and kissing him on both cheeks. “Behold, our conquering hero! Welcome home!”
Carmy groaned. “Mikey!” he pleaded, hating even his brother fawning over him.
“Alright, alright !” Mikey released him and spread his hands in mock surrender and returned to the woman leaning against his car, giving her a gentle push forward. “Carmy, meet the girlfriend, Maebelle.”
Maebelle smiled brightly at him. “Hi Carmy!” she said, her voice as sweet as Tupelo honey. She stuck out her hand for him. “I loved you on Master Chef !”
“Everyone loved him on fucking Master Chef, babe!” Mikey said, teasing her good-naturedly.
“It’s so good to finally meet you in person!” Maebelle said. “Mikey’s told me so much about you.”
Carmy nodded, clearing his throat awkwardly. “It’s, uh, good to meet you as well. Mikey’s told me a lot about you, too.”
Maebelle laughed. “They’re all wicked lies, I’m sure!”
“I only tell him the good things, babe,” Mikey assured her as he popped open the trunk and helped Carmy load his luggage into it.
“Front seat or back?” Maebelle asked.
Carmy shook his head, he didn’t care.
“I think all he needs right now is some coffee and a cigarette,” Mikey offered. “And not in that order.”
Maebelle nodded and then climbed into the backseat, leaving the option of the front wide open for Carmy. “Babe, someone’s giving you a dirty look. We better get going.”
The next thing Carmy knew, he was in the front seat of Mikey’s car, smoking a cigarette while an old Trisha Yearwood song played over the speaker. Now that he was settled in, he was starting to feel even more disoriented being home, like a stranger even though he was in a familiar land.
Maebelle leaned across the seat, her arm draped over Mikey’s shoulder. “So, how was your flight?”
Carmy rested his elbow on the open car window and glanced at Mikey, who just smirked and shrugged. “How was your flight, Carm?” he echoed.
“It was fine,” Carmy answered, putting his cigarette to his lips and inhaling again.
“My brother, the great conversationalist,” Mikey teased. “You’ll get used to it, Mae.”
“We’re supposed to meet everyone for brunch in twenty,” Maebelle reminded Mikey. “Should I text Sug and tell her we’re going to be running a little late?”
Carmy’s stomach clenched at the word everyone . He wondered if everyone included Syd. She was a bridesmaid after all, Sugar had Facetimed him to warn him that she’d asked her to be in the wedding. Because they were family, she still loved her like a sister.
He hadn’t realized at the time it meant she would be included in every single wedding activity leading up to Sugar and Pete’s big day.
“Brunch?” Carmy said aloud instead of asking if Syd was going to be there, thankful for something to say.
“Carmy fucking hates brunch,” Mikey told Maebelle. “But it’s probably because he’s worked in restaurants for a long time.”
“Huh,” Maebellee said thoughtfully. “I’ve heard Syd say she hates brunch too.”
“Syd and Carmy were practically fucking joined at the hip forever. It’s like they’re the same person sometimes,” Mikey answered, looking at Carmy. “Best friends and all that shit.”
Carmy was thankful his brother, usually a notorious gossip, didn’t tell Maebelle all the details about his relationship with Syd. It was one of the things he still liked to keep a secret, their relationship felt like one of his biggest failures in life because he had had success everywhere else.
“It’ll be nice to see her again, huh?” Maebelle asked, innocently. “It’s probably been a while since the last time you saw her.”
Carmy choked on the cigarette smoke and then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it’ll be real nice to see her again,” he lied, clearing his throat and not looking at either Mikey or Maebelle, even though if he were being honest, it was the last thing he wanted to do.
It had taken him forever to get over her, and if he were being honest, he still wasn’t. He was just getting used to living without her. At least he was as best as he could. Seeing her would probably just undo whatever meager progress he had made.
Carmy sighed inwardly and flicked some ash off the end of his cigarette. He looked out the window, wishing again he had just turned around and bought a one-way ticket back to Chicago. Natalie’s disappointment had to be better than seeing Syd again.
Except he knew it wasn’t, and not going to the wedding would have just been one more thing he would have felt guilty about after the fact.
He didn’t have much more time to stew in his thoughts because Mikey was pulling into Carmella’s. The anxiety in his stomach multiplied, and he wanted to get out of the car and find somewhere to throw up.
But there wasn’t time for that either because Mikey was pushing him towards the entrance of the cafè, like he sensed Carmy wanted to escape.
The first person Carmy saw was Syd, of course, and his heart slammed against his chest when he saw her standing in a graphic t-shirt with every variety of tomatoes on it and a long white skirt. For a second, his vision blurred, and if it hadn’t been for Mikey’s strong grip on his shoulder, he would have turned around and bolted.
“Carmy!” Natalie said excitedly, breaking away from the party and meeting them halfway. “Welcome home! I’m so happy you’re here!”
Carmy gave her an awkward hug, trying not to look at Syd as he did. “Hi, Sugar,” he replied, hoping his voice wasn’t shaking as much as he was. “Congratulations,” he said, even though he’d already said it before.
“Thanks, Bear!” Natalie answered, as she pulled away and looked at him, smiling as she did.
Carmy felt like he was going to spill out of his skin; he could feel Syd watching him, and he didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, he was saved by Richie coming over to see him and welcoming him home, Eva at his heels.
He was feeling overwhelmed by this mini-family reunion, on top of feeling overwhelmed by having to see Syd again. Seeing his mom, newly sober and working hard at it, wasn’t as bad as the dread and anticipation of seeing his childhood sweetheart again.
He swallowed hard after his mom had said hello and turned to Syd because what else was he going to do? He couldn’t ignore her for much longer. He took a step towards her and wiped his hands on his jeans, his heart working overtime.
She hung back, letting him come to her.
“Hi, Syd,” he whispered, forcing himself to look at her. She was just as beautiful as the last time he had seen her, maybe even more so.
She smiled at him, not a hint of hesitation on her face, but didn’t offer him anything else, her hands dangled at her side. “Hello Carmy,” she replied, her voice neutral. “Long Time no see.”
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