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Karl’s finger hovers over the dial icon, hesitating a moment longer.
It has been years since he heard from Gideon—what with the moving and the pandemic, it’s been one setback after the other. But now, he’s finally setting time to reconnect with his best friend and brother-in-arms. He hopes it actually goes well. So much time has passed that everything could be different. He is unsure of what he means by "everything," and to be honest, he is anxious to learn what it means.
A finger taps the dial icon. The phone sits in his palm and rings away. He sits in anticipation watching the phone ring.
The line clicks.
“Karl? Is this you?” A familiar, gravelly voice asks.
“Yeah, it’s me! It’s been way too long, Gideon,” Karl enthusiastically replies.
A small chuckle from Gideon. “I know, right? What’s going on? How’s life treating you?”
“Good, good. Actually, I was thinking, you know, it’s been a while. I was hoping we could meet up and catch up. I’ve been meaning to reach out, but...” Karl trails off.
“Yeah, I’ve been pretty busy,” Gideon says slightly strained like he’s tuckered out. “Me and my wife, Florence... we’re in the middle of some stuff right now. Pregnancy and all that.”
Karl lets out a gasp. "Oh, congratulations, man! I told you you’d find the love of your life.”
“Huh. I guess you did.”
There’s a pause in the conversation. Karl thought it was an indicator for his reply but is proven wrong when he's cut off.
“Look, I’d love to catch up, but like, again, pregnancy stuff. It’s been 8 months, so lots of maintainance.”
Karl's excitement deflates slightly, but he isn’t one to give up easily. “I get it. No worries. But, just curious, you didn’t move, right?”
“… I mean, I moved like a block away, but I’m in the same area. Why?”
Karl grins, hanging up without answering. It looks like he’s booked for the rest of the day.
_____________________
He’s at the 7th house now. Awkward encounter after awkward encounter with the wrong people, Karl is still just as determined. They cannot be too far away. He adjusts a pink box with a cake inside, knocks on the door, and awaits a response. The door creaks open to show a middle-aged woman wearing a cardigan and framed spectacles. She looks great! She may have a few wrinkles here and there, but she is keeping herself together admirably.
Anyways, the routine.
“Hello, would you happen to know a man named Gideon Callahan or a woman named Florence?”
The cardigan-wearing woman looks bewildered for a second. “That is me and my husband. Why?”
He’s found it! Gideon’s house, and his wife! Very lovely woman too; he always knew Gideon could score a great woman. But the moment fades, and a problem becomes apparent.
Florence doesn’t look pregnant in the slightest. It’s all flat in the stomach area, and her posture is casual, like there isn’t anything happening.
“Uh, I’m Karl. Gideon’s brother-in-arms?”
A lightbulb goes off in her head.
“Oh, Karl, my husband told me so many stories about you! It’s great to see you so unexpectedly,” Florence looks hesitant. “Why are you here?”
“To congratulate you and Gideon. You know, on the baby.” His voice is cautious now, the cake in his hands suddenly feeling heavy.
Florence’s expression softens, and she laughs. “Well, come on in, Karl. You’re making me feel all bad now. Gideon’s been... a bit out of it.”
She opens the door to let the visitor inside. Karl is still trying to rationalize the whole thing. He thought Gideon said they were dealing with a pregnancy—an 8-month pregnancy at that. Florence here looks as youthful and energized as a young adult.
“I thought... I thought you were—“ Karl stutters before giving up and going inside. He spots from the corner of his eye Florence giving a mischievous little smirk.
He notices several toys on the ground right away. They are colorful, basic, and little. It’s something you’d assume to find at a daycare. There’s even that classic city carpet that you’d swear just spawns when you have kids. The elegant, contemporary wall décor and the juvenile mess on the floor stand in sharp contrast to one another. He can hear faint chuckles and little, fast footsteps.
Florence steps behind a corner and presents Karl like she’s doing a galley walk for some valuable item. She’s in the living room with the mounted TV and chairs sitting near the walls. Karl continues to walk around the corner in the middle of a breath before instinctively stopping as he notices what lays just beyond the corner. His mind completely short-circuits.
In the living room, there rests Gideon on the couch, surrounded by two twin brunette boys jumping and prodding at his beach ball-sized belly. He is worn out but obviously happy. He notices Karl right away as he turns to face his wife. In a moment, his expression falls.
“Daddy, daddy, is it a boy or a girl? C’mon, tell us!” One of the twins begs; the other still prods at the belly.
It takes them a moment to realize that their father is not focusing on them anymore. Curious, they twist their heads to look at the newcomer. One waves, the other says hi. Karl is aware that they are identical twins, but they are essentially just mirror images. It makes him think of the strange twins from that one hotel horror film. Unlike Gideon who’s a horror nerd, he can’t remember half the names.
Karl observes as Gideon makes frantic gestures towards the kids while staring at his wife. Florence picks up the hint before conversing with the twins.
“Danny, Damien, do you want to hang out with your big sister?”
“Well, duh! She has the coolest stuff!” Either Danny or Damien exclaims, with the other enthusiastically nodding.
Florence smiles sweetly at the boys. She gives them little kisses on the forehead before stepping back and walking towards the stairs. She knows her daughter will be in her room with the door closed, so she has to be extra loud.
“Georgie, look after your brothers for a bit!”
A couple seconds later, a teenage female voice yells back.
“Why? They keep messing with my stuff!”
“Honey, if you do this, I’ll let you go on the field trip with your friends! I know how much you want to impress that little lady of yours.” Florence smirks in preemptive victory.
“Oh my gosh, really?”
“Really! Just babysit Danny and Damien while the grown-ups talk.”
“Deal!”
To have a little fun, Florence makes little monster noises. While the noisy one yells in pseudo-horror, the strangely silent one makes a mock-horrified look. She leads them to the stairwell and pursues them in a round for a while. To make sure they reach Georgie’s room, she follows them up the stairs. It's time for the two brothers-in-arm to finally speak. There are obviously a lot of topics to discuss.
Neither are sure how to begin such a conversation. Gideon finds it difficult to put the right words together to make this less of an awkward first conversation, while Karl is still totally bewildered on the whole affair.
Karl tiptoes to the coffee table and places the box on it. He tries being halfway respectful, but nothing could tear his eyes from the oddity that is Gideon’s stomach. Subtly is not the main issue.
“So, you’re not going crazy or dreaming; I am pregnant,” Gideon sighs.
Karl nods slowly. He fidgets with his fingers and looks away out of embarrassment. Pacing around the space in stress, he ends up using a wall to lean himself against it.
“I don’t think that should be possible,” Karl says.
Gideon uses a nearby blanket to conceal anything from the torso down. He takes a sip of water to help a dry throat.
“Surgery can do wonders. It certainly convinced you when we served time in the military.”
“Is that why you sounded like a prepubescent boy?”
“I got better overtime.” Gideon softly chuckles, the gravel in his voice proudly bouncing off the vocal cords.
Karl gazes at the pink box. “You know, I’m fine with a woman in the army. No judgment.”
His comrade-in-arms looks like he was punched in the gut. The eyes falter and the smile wavers. His head hangs low until he is staring at the belly bump under the blanket. His fingers go to graze the stubble on his chin. He does a circular motion as if to reassure it’s still there.
“You don’t have to pretend. You still have honor just for sticking your neck out for your country.”
“… But I’m not pretending.”
“Buddy, it’s okay. You can embrace your true self.”
“But I am.”
Karl sighs. He squints and pinches the bridge of his nose. Karl rubs his face and takes a glance at the wall decor. It’s fancy photos of Gideon, his wife, and the family. Taking a bit to observe, he finally comes across the earliest pictures. One is a young Gideon striking a heroic pose with Florence in front of their country’s flag, and the other is a wedding day photo. Gideon is in a suit, and Florence is in a dress. Karl walks over to pick it up and get a closer look.
“Does she know?”
Gideon raises his head from his sulking position. “What do you mean?”
Karl keeps talking. “I think she does. With that smirk from earlier, I’m guessing she’s also dealing with stuff and pretending too.”
He turns to Gideon, who now has a disheveled look of disbelief. Karl raises his eyebrow to show genuine confusion. It soon transitions to genuine concern and sympathy.
“War can do a lot to the brain. We can talk, and I could help you. From one soldier to another. Please.”
Before Gideon could get a word in, Florence came gliding down the stairs. She has makeup on her face: one is simple yet still effective, and then a layer of pure amateur work has been slapped on top. She cannot stop giggling.
She stops at the base of the stairs. The tension in the room has been oddly thick. The longtime friends aren’t immediately shooting the shit with each other.
Florence whistles to hopefully lessen this tension. It isn’t effective. Still having the spirit to keep trying, she strolls her way until she’s in the middle of the two men. Florence extends her arms to both of them, inviting them to join her. She puts on the cool voice that she usually does with her kids whenever she is trying to alleviate any bad energy.
“What’s the haps? Got some petty bet you two can’t settle on?”
“Can I ask you something?” Karl asks, not interested in the cringey comedic attempt at alleviation.
“Oh, sure. Ask away.”
“Is this like a donor situation, or is it solely your doing?”
Florence tilts her head at him. Her and her husband make eye contact, and she gestures towards him to nonverbally ask Karl for clarification. He nods.
“Oh,” Florence says. "Yes, I did give him the baby. And our other kids.”
Karl nods as if he has confirmed his suspicions. Karl pushes himself off the wall to stretch. Then, he slowly makes his way towards her.
He points at Karl. “Are you also—“
Florence immediately knows what he’s about to say. To save both of their time, she stops him from speaking with a shhhh.
“I’m sorry, but no. I’ve always had my jewels. I just got the best of both worlds, baby.” She makes another attempt at a cringey joke.
It doesn’t land.
Karl takes a few steps to the side so she is no longer obstructing the view of her husband. He walks past her and opens the pink box, revealing the cake. It says “Congratulations On Scoring, Private Dungcake!” in cursive.
“It’s New-York styled cheesecake—your favorite,” he mumbles.
He turns away from Gideon. He has lost the drive to spend the whole day with him now. He’s tired, and things have gotten way too awkward. He decides to make his leave before he truly loses a friend. He puts his hand on the front door’s handle. Before he departs, he speaks one last time.
“I’m here to talk and stuff. We’re still comrades-in-arms, I hope you know.”
The sound of the door closing fills the living room. After that, the only other noise is the twins being rowdy and Georgie being her usual teenage snarky self.
Florence approaches her husband and sits on the couch. She reaches over to hold his hand while still being able to hold a gentle smile.
Gideon doesn’t look at her. He looks at the cake. The writing is on the cake. Reading it over and over.
“Congrats on scoring, Private Dungcake!”