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“So Daniel,” Jack said after swallowing a mouthful of meatloaf, “since you’re not going to Atlantis anytime soon, what do you think if we stop dicking around?”
“Dicking around?” The archaeologist's fork froze at an inch of his mouth, and the man looked at the general in puzzlement.
“You know, fucking around, beating around the bush,” Jack said nonchalantly, perfectly concealing the anxiety that was chewing his innards. “I mean, maybe it’s time we do something about… that.”
“That?” Two thick brown eyes climbed upwards.
“Yes, that. You know, that thing between, uh… us.” Jack’s mouth dried, and he swallowed. Please, please, please, tell me I got the signals right!
“What thing?” Daniel asked, utterly confused.
“You know.”
“No, Jack, I don’t know.” The archaeologist’s eyebrows descended and clashed on his brow.
“Oh, c'mon, are you gonna make me say it out loud?” Jack made a face. Ugh. Where is an alien invasion when you need one?
“Well, it would be helpful to know what you’re talking about.” The archaeologist folded his arms over his chest, what was left of his chicken and salad forgotten.
“You know. That. The, uh… that!”
“Jack!”
“Alright, alright!” Jack threw his hands up. “Obviously, I mean the, uh… flin’s."
“Come again?”
The general leaned over the table and approached his mouth to Daniel’s ear.
“Feelings,” he said in a stage whisper.
“Feelings?” The archaeologist raised his eyebrows again. “Oh! Ah! You mean you…?”
“Yeah.” Jack looked away for a second, but his eyes quickly searched Daniel’s blue pools again.
“Really?” The archaeologist blinked, stunned.
“Yeah.”
Daniel’s heart started to race. OhGodohGodohGod. Feelings. What did that mean? That Jack wanted him? Lo… loved him? That was what he was saying, right? Right? Although Jack was never a great communicator when it came to feelings stuff. What if he was misunderstanding his words altogether? He needed to be sure before allowing himself to dream big.
“Say it,” Daniel dared his friend.
“What?”
“Say it. I want to hear it,” the archaeologist insisted.
“Here? Now?”
“You’re being rather cryptic.” Daniel squinted his eyes. “I just want to be sure I’m getting this right.” Pleasepleasepleaseplease.
“You know you are getting this right.” Jack frowned.
“Yeah, humor me, anyway.” The blue of the archaeologist’s eyes practically disappeared under his lashes.
“I can’t say it here. We’re in a military base,” Jack protested.
“And we’re alone in the mess hall,” Daniel pointed out. “No one’s gonna hear you.”
Jack looked to the right, left, and behind his back. Daniel was right. It was past lunchtime, and there wasn’t a single soul around. The general let out the air he had been holding while inspecting the room.
“Alright, alright, you win,” he sighed. He could do it. Piece of cake. “I, uh…”
“Mhmm?”
“I love you,” he whispered.
Daniel’s heart jumped and sped up. The chicken in the archaeologist’s stomach metamorphosed into butterflies.
“As a friend?”
Jack cleared his throat. “More.”
“As in…?”
“Yeah,” Jack smiled lopsidedly.
“Mhmm.” Daniel struggled to keep his composure. Jack loved him. A lover’s type of love. Oh God. Yes. Yes!
The general cleared his throat again, louder this time.
“Now is when you say you love me too,” he said.
“Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry, obviously I, uh…”
Jack mouthed the words as he drew circles with his fork to encourage the archaeologist to speak.
“I love you, too,” Daniel confessed with a soft smile.
“As a friend?”
“More.”
“As in…?”
“Yeah…”
“See? Dicking around!” Jack exclaimed in a mixture of relief and frustration.
“You can say that again.” The younger man shook his head at the situation. “Jeez. How long?”
“Eight years.” The general said with a sigh.
“Eight YEARS?!” Daniel’s eyes popped out of their sockets.
“Nine, if you count the year you spent on Abydos,” the older man shrugged.
The archaeologist stared at him, completely flabbergasted.
“My God, Jack! Why didn’t you say something?!”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I thought it was only me!”
“Is that the reason you decided to move to Atlantis?” Jack asked.
“Partially,” Daniel admitted. “You know I’ve always wanted to go there, but yes. It’s the reason I got a one-way ticket this time."
“Fuck, Daniel.” The general shuddered at the idea of never seeing the younger man again. When the archaeologist asked for the transfer, he understood it would be temporary. It never occurred to him that Daniel had planned to stay in Atlantis forever. He wouldn’t have approved it otherwise. Jeez, he couldn’t even fathom it. He felt the younger man as an essential part of himself. Having him in another galaxy permanently… God, he wouldn’t have survived it.
“Being here, believing I couldn’t get what I really wanted became too painful in the end,” Daniel said with sadness. “You?”
“Denial.”
“Really?”
“Yup. Daniel denial. It sounds like a bad joke.” Jack chuckled.
“So what made you, you know? Kaboom?” the archaeologist inquired.
“You died.” The general’s eyes clouded with sorrow.
“What time?”
“The last time,” Jack clarified. “I barely survived when you ascended. I had no idea what happened to you this time. If you hadn’t returned… I knew I wouldn’t survive that one. When I found you in your birthday suit in my office, I couldn’t deny it anymore.”
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Daniel said sincerely.
“Don’t be.” The older man pursed his lips. “I was in command of the base. It was technically my fault.”
“But wait,” Daniel brought a finger to his mouth, "that happened a month ago.”
“Yeah, it kinda took me a while to gather the courage. I was almost there when you asked for the transfer to Atlantis again, and well… I thought that maybe I had read the signs wrong after all, and I chickened out."
“Is that the reason you approved my transfer and decided to move to Washington?” Daniel asked, stealing Jack’s previous question.
“I couldn’t stay here, not without you. Every corner, every member of the staff, every piece of furniture… it all makes me think of you.”
“So what now?”
“Now, dessert time!” Jack exclaimed as he abandoned his chair.
“Uh, not exactly the answer I was expecting, but I guess I could eat something sweet,” Daniel agreed.
As Jack said, he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, so they’d have plenty of time to discuss the situation. He followed the general, but the gray-haired man walked past the desserts display and headed to the exit.
“Jack?” the younger man questioned him with a frown.
“I'm thinking something more… exclusive,” the general grinned.
“Jack, I can’t leave the base, remember?” Daniel raised his hand to show the older man the Goa’uld bracelet that was still attached to his wrist. “I can’t even go a few floors away from Vala.”
“Don’t worry. I’m painfully aware of that.” Jack halted in front of a storage room, opened the door, and peeped inside. “This will do.”
He turned on the light and stepped inside, pulling Daniel with him.
“Are you planning to make one of those funny cakes with the toilet paper? You know they’re not edible, don’t you?” The archaeologist raised his eyebrows.
“Actually, I was thinking of something much, much sweeter,” the general smirked.
Daniel licked his lips, and it was all the encouragement Jack needed. He cupped the younger man’s cheek with his hand, stroked the stubble with his thumb, and asked for permission with his eyes. The moment he saw sparks in the archaeologist’s blue pools, he leaned forward and kissed him softly. Oh, yes, Daniel’s lips felt like velvet and tasted even sweeter than he had imagined, and the archaeologist’s moans told him he was enjoying the kiss as much as he was.
“Mmmm… sweet… more…” Daniel mumbled.
The archaeologist entwined his fingers with Jack’s silver strands and deepened the kiss. Both men’s hearts swelled with joy and hope, and soon their tongues were wresting for control, lips sucking, teeth nibbling in the most passionate kiss they remembered to date. Jack dislodged Daniel’s t-shirt from his waistband, snuck his hands under the garment, and ran his fingers over his smooth back. Oh, yeah, even better than in his dreams. The archaeologist mimicked the older man and stroked his warm skin wherever he could reach. The small room filled with moans, gasps, and love words choked with emotion.
“Baby… I love you… want you… oh, God… Danny… love you… love you…”
“Oh, Jack… Jack… love you… too… want you… too…”
However, both men were conscious of where they were. It had been an amazing first kiss, but they couldn’t do much more at the moment, not while Daniel was attached to Vala with that damned bracelet. They pulled away and stared at each other, their bodies tingling from the aftermath of the ardent kiss.
“So now what?” Daniel repeated his previous question.
“Now we make it work,” Jack replied, his eyes shining with a special light the archaeologist had never seen before.
“Just like that?” The younger man was beaming as well.
“It has worked for eight years,” the gray-haired man shrugged. “Sex will only be an extra.”
“You have a point.”
Daniel saw the confidence in Jack’s eyes. He was right. Distance wouldn’t be a problem. Their feelings were genuine. They wouldn’t see each other often for now, but they sure would pour their souls in every rendezvous. Yeah, they would make it work, and with time, they'd find a way to be together. They knew they would because even if it took them a while to figure it out, one thing was certain: they belonged to each other, always had, and always would, and nothing, not distance or any other circumstance, would pull them apart.
The two men exited the storage room, the only witness of their commitment, to face a world that wouldn’t be lack of difficulties, but would keep a constant from now on: their devotion to each other, their love.
The end