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The first thing Lara felt through the darkness was pain.
A terrible, searing pain that reached her very core, the crackle of her ribs with each breath. Her bones creaked with each tiny movement. Her head pounded with her heartbeat - so dizzy.
It was overwhelming, excruciating; all Lara wanted to do was to curl up and bury herself deeper into the shadows, in hopes that it would numb the agonizing sensations. But it was that very thought that spurred her to move, to breathe, to wrench open her eyes in spite of that pain.
“God…” she muttered to herself as she tried to push herself up, but she failed and ended up rolling onto her back instead. She sucked air through her teeth when that very action sent a blaze of agony through her body. “One step at a time…” Little by little, she could do this.
As she willed herself the energy to stand up again, she began taking inventory of her sore spots and where it hurt the most. Her chest hurt with every breath, she could’ve bruised or cracked something. Her left shoulder felt loose out of its socket, dislocated maybe? There were several other wounds, a notable one on her right knee, but the most glaring one of them all was the one on her head.
Lara had to fight the urge to vomit as she pulled herself into a sitting position. She tentatively reached up to touch her head, wincing as her fingers grazed the raw flesh there. A head injury - that wasn’t good. That meant that she didn’t have much time; maybe an hour at most before she succumbed to her injuries. The threat of unconsciousness was already starting to seep back into her tired, bruised body.
Deciding to deal with her shoulder first, Lara braced herself as she placed a hand on her left shoulder. Sucking in air through her teeth, she applied pressure. It took a few attempts, but she finally did it, crying out as the shoulder popped back into place. She took a moment to breathe, fighting the onslaught of pain this action brought.
Realizing that she just didn’t have the time to lick her wounds, she weakly reached for the radio she always kept on her person. Somehow, even through the dizziness and achy stiffness of her fingers, she managed to fumble the switch.
“J-Jonah?” she wheezed into the radio, startled when fluid leaked from her lips. Lara instinctively wiped at it and was only mildly surprised when it came back a dark red.
… Maybe she had more like thirty minutes.
“Jonah…!” she managed again, slightly stronger now. Lara waited for a response, but there was nothing but static. “Shit…”
It took a moment for her to realize that the radio had gotten busted. It must’ve taken a hit when the tomb collapsed on her and the Trinity soldiers.
At the time, it had seemed like a good plan. Deliberately causing the collapse had effectively wiped out all the soldiers who were so eagerly nipping at her heels. But she hadn’t planned on being in here when she set those charges; now she was in trouble. Still, it had been worth it. Jonah had made it out with the artifact they recovered, and he was safe - that was worth every drop of blood.
“C’mon… On your feet, Lara,” she encouraged herself. Lara managed to stand, but only managed to stumble a few steps before her legs gave out, and she ended up collapsing on her knees. “ C’mon…! ” She scolded herself, grunting in effort, but working through these injuries was proving difficult.
She’s survived worse, much worse, but the head injury was making it hard to focus at all. Blood had even started to drip down into her eyes, stinging her vision a speckled crimson red, making it even harder to see in this dim, dusty lightning. Reaching for one of the pieces of wall or rubble (hard to tell in this darkness) to steady herself, Lara barely was able to scrape together some semblance of control.
Realizing that her equipment was part of the problem, Lara shedded any extra ammunition and weapons that she had on her person; she just couldn’t take the extra weight (though she did, however, keep her climbing axes, she had a feeling she might need them to find a way out).
Using some of the rubble as support, Lara managed to get her feet under her again and actually managed this time to limp forward. But after a few moments, she realized that she had no idea where she was even going. Was this the direction of the entrance? What if the entrance collapsed too? If that’s the case, she’d have to dig her way out, and she wasn’t sure if her arm could take the extra strain.
She could very well be trapped here.
No, she couldn’t think like that. She can’t think like that.
Survive - she could survive. All she needed to do was to find a way out, or to get into contact with Jonah. Just focus on that, Lara Croft, she told herself. She can do this.
But with each tired step, Lara found herself growing weaker and weaker. Maybe… maybe this was her limit. Maybe her luck had run out; there was only so much sheer will could fill in with what her body’s strength lacked. She tried to shake such thoughts, but she was so tired. Everything just hurt.
Finally, it was just too much.
Unable to power through the pain anymore, Lara let herself go. She collapsed against the wall, leaning to it as her legs folded underneath her, breathing hard. Just a little break? Her mind pleaded, but Lara knew if she closed her eyes now, she’d never get up again. C’mon, Lara told herself again, but she didn’t move. Her body was too tired and hurt.
As she sat there, bleeding and broken, Lara began to realize how sick and tired she was of this.
All of this.
Not just this moment, but forcing herself to go through so much effort, so much pain, time and time again. Every day for the past couple years, her life had been defined by exhaustion and hurt. How long did she plan to do this? Until Trinity is stopped? When would that be? She was getting older every day; there would come a time when her age would catch up with her. Would she still force herself to go through with this? Just thinking that made her fatigue feel ten times as worst.
Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad, to sink into the shadows… At least, there, the pain would stop.
No more will exhaustion seep into her bones, no more of that painful aches that never seemed to go away.
Lulled in by that comforting thought, she closed her eyes.
“Oh, my poor sweet, Lara…”
Lara’s eyes snapped open.
“Lara?” A different, but familiar voice called out.
That voice, it couldn’t be…
She jerked to attention, trying to make sense of what the hell she was hearing. Through the dimness of the broken tomb, she managed to make out two figures - two very familiar figures. Her throat felt dry, skin clammy. “M-Mum? … Dad?”
Lara couldn’t believe her eyes.
There were Richard and Amelia Croft, her parents.
They were here.
Suddenly, all weariness seemed to disappear as she met her parents’ gaze. They were watching her with concerned eyes, so out of place in the shadows of this tomb. With a soft smile on her face, her mother reached over to caress her cheek with such gentleness, but to Lara, her warm touch burned like a knife wound. This couldn’t be real, this can’t - shouldn’t be happening.
“I’m dying,” Lara whispered to herself. Her eyes began to water. “My mind is playing tricks on me.”
Amelia had an indescribable look of anguish in her eyes as she carefully reached over to brush her matted bangs out of her eyes. “My poor darling…” She soothed her with another gentle caress.
Lara found herself reaching up, with her bloodied and bruised hands, to touch her mother’s hand. She was surprised to find it warm to touch, was she really here? Lara wanted to apologize for the state she was in, how horrible she must look, but all she could think about was to bury herself in the comfort of her mother’s hand. So she did; clutching at her mum’s hand like it was her lifeline.
You can’t, she told herself. This isn’t real, she continued to scold herself. You are dying, you are dreaming. This isn’t real, Lara begged herself.
But if this was a dream, Lara never wanted it to end.
A broken sob escaped her mouth, and she couldn’t help but just reach up for them both, like she was a little girl again. She wanted nothing than to be in their comforting arms once more. At that moment, all thoughts of Trinity, artifacts, and old things - they weren’t important. The only thing that mattered right now is that for this moment, real or not, her parents were here. They were a family again.
Even if just a dream.
Even if just for a little while.
“I’m sorry,” she managed to choke out, hiding her face in the crook of her father’s neck. “Mum, Dad, I’m so sorry.” Lara wasn’t even sure what she was apologizing for. Everything, she supposed.
“Oh, Lara,” her father replied, utter sadness in his tone. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Lara pulled away from them, suddenly feeling unworthy of even meeting their eyes. All the sore spots seemed to ache more. “I have everything to be sorry for.”
“Nonsense!” Richard responded, aghast that she was even thinking that way. “If anyone should be sorry, it should be us.”
Her mother nodded in agreement. “We’re so sorry for leaving you all alone, my dear sweet daughter.” There were tears in her eyes too. “And you had to go through so much alone.”
Lara clutched at her parents’ hands, ignoring how her wounds seemed to protest. “No, it’s my fault. Everything, I just-...” The weight of her words got stuck in her throat.
She felt a firm hand on her shoulder. “You've done enough, Lara,” her father told her. “This… I… this should have never fallen to you. I’m so sorry, darling.”
“It’s not your fault,” she assured her father. Long ago, she was angry, but now… now she understood. She finally understood why he did what he did. “I’m not mad at you, Dad, not anymore. I’m sorry, I just didn’t understand. But now I-I get it, I really do.”
She expected her father to look relieved, but Richard Croft just sadly shook his head. “You were just a little girl, Lara. It was never your burden to take.”
“Maybe not before, but it is now.”
Both her parents were silent for a long moment before her mother reached over to hold her hands in hers.
“We’ve seen what you’ve been through, everything that you’ve done. And…” She had a wide smile on her face. “It’s all so amazing. You’ve grown up into a fine, beautiful, strong, young woman.”
Lara swallowed, shaking her head softly. How her mother found it in herself to say that when Lara was covered in blood, bruises, and grime was beyond her.
“Brilliant! Extraordinary!” Her father added with gusto, with a look of saddened pride. “I don’t think I could’ve done even half of the things you have. We’re so proud of you, Lara.”
Lara let out a shuddering breath. Her parents… they were proud of her? She opened her mouth to speak, to remind herself that this was all a lie, but the words died in her tongue. She just wanted to believe in this fantasy, if not for a bit longer.
“But we’ve also seen other things.” There was a haunted look in her mother’s face. Tears started streaming down her cheeks. “So terrifying and horrible.” Her mother squeezed her hand, as if she was the one reliving the horrible moments herself. “You have seen and done things no one should have to do.”
“I had to,” Lara replied simply, blinking slowly. “If I don’t… who will?”
“Someone else will,” her father suggested.
Lara shook her head, feeling the most sick and tired she’s ever been. She blinked back her tears. “No… if you did see everything, you know that’s not true. Don’t lie to me.” Please.
“It’s not your burden to take,” her father repeated. “You don’t have to do this anymore, if you don’t want to.”
“And…” Lara licked her bloodied lip. The taste of copper is the only thing keeping her aware enough that this was all an illusion. “What if I want to? What if it’s the only thing that I can do?”
“Oh, my sweetie,” Amelia expressed. That nickname reminded Lara of something important, someone important, who was still alive. “You are so much more than your quest to stop Trinity…”
“It's all I have left,” Lara murmured, shaking her head. “It's the only thing that makes sense .”
Richard visibly swallowed. “I know, Lara.” He looked so sad.
Everything went quiet for a moment, the only thing audible was the soft wheezes from Lara. For a moment, Lara thought that she was alone again, that the hallucination - or whatever this is, was over. But she suddenly felt the warm hug of her mother - so much love, so terrifying.
“If you want Lara… you can stay with us,” her mother told her softly. “Nothing has to hurt anymore, and we’ll be here for you, for as long as you want. You can finally rest.”
Lara wiped more blood away from her eyes. “I can… stay?” She finally realized what her parents were asking of her. “You’re asking me to die.” Her heart ached.
To die here… in the dark with her parents... It was scary how much she didn't mind the idea. No more hunting for Trinity, no more scars and bruises, no more pain. That sounded nice. It sounded good.
She looked at her parents, who waiting patiently for her answer. Lara wondered if they were really here, as ghosts or spirits, or was this just a figment of her imagination? Was she really speaking to her parents? Or was her mind simply trying to comfort a dying body?
In the end, that distinction didn’t really matter, did it? Because she knew what she needed to do.
Survive.
Even though her muscles protested, her bones creaked, her body strained, Lara managed to drag herself up to her feet. Her parents watched her stand up, worried, but Lara waved any attempts of help they offered. And when she was standing up tall, she finally found the strength to address these ghosts.
“I’m sorry, Mum, Dad…” Lara told them, standing strong despite how everything aches. “I won’t be staying.”
There was a look of disappointment on both of their faces, but after a moment, her mother laughed. “We know.”
Lara was stunned. They weren’t going to convince her to stay, to die here? They were actually going to let her go? Her lips trembled, and then she threw herself at her parents again, bringing them in a tight hug. She felt their arms wrap around her, holding her close. Lara closed her eyes and ignored the stench of blood, instead taking in the scent of her mother’s perfume, her father’s favorite wine.
“My sweet girl,” her mother murmured. She kissed her forehead, just next to the gash that was there. “Just know that we’re always with you.”
“Always,” her father echoed.
“We love you, Lara,” Amelia finally said, giving her a warm smile. “Never forget that.”
Lara used all the strength she had not to break down into tears. Instead, she returned her mother’s smile. “I love you too, Mum… Dad…” She wiped her tears again, smearing more blood around her face. “I’m going to have to ask you both to wait a little longer for me.”
“We wouldn’t have it any other way,” her father smiled. His expression faded a little as he adjusted his glasses. “Go on,” he encouraged, his hand wrapping around his wife, who smiled so sweetly at her. He gestured ahead.
Her mother nodded. “You don’t want to keep your friend waiting.”
‘Your friend’? Jonah?
But before Lara had any mind to ask, she found herself standing alone again in the dark. Stunned by the sudden appearance and disappearance of her parents, Lara spent a moment trying to make sense of this experience. However, she soon reminded herself that she couldn’t linger. She was on a timer, and if she didn’t start moving, she’d never make it out.
Following her father’s direction, Lara began blindly stumbling forward. She had no idea if this was the right way, but any way was better than just sitting here and waiting to die.
Eventually, the tunnel she chose began closing in on itself. To continue forward, she had to crawl on her belly, which was difficult with how achy and lose her shoulder felt. By the time she felt a soft breeze ahead, more blood had dripped into her eyelids, making it even more difficult to see, but she pushed on anyway.
She didn’t know when she started hearing someone call her name. They sounded desperate, worried. Lara clung onto the voice, uncertain if she was making all this up too, but after a few more painful drags, she heard that voice long and clear. So she wasn’t dreaming this escape after all.
“Lara!” A familiar voice was calling out to her.
Lara used what little strength she had left to continue crawling through the small opening, using her axes to dislodge the rocks to make more room for her to fit through. Just a little more .
“You can do it! I’m right here, I got you!”
Finally, her hand broke into the outside world, and she felt strong, warm hands grab onto it, pulling her out the rest of the way.
Lara must’ve blacked out for a second because the next thing she became aware of is someone gently laying her on the soft ground. With a strength she didn’t know she still had, Lara managed to open her eyes, though she was unable to focus on anything through her bloodied vision.
A shadow was standing above her. “Lara?”
“... Sam?” she asked the shadow.
The shadow paused. “You’re going to be okay, Lara.” It spoke with her voice now. “I’m here.” Lara could almost make out her features. Sam… Oh, how she missed her.
Some part of her, deep down, knew that this wasn’t right. Sam couldn’t be here, she was on the other side of the world, across the sea, nowhere near this dusty old broken tomb. She was far away, safe… not here.
But just for a moment, Lara allowed herself to believe.
And comforted by that lie, she finally allowed herself to fall unconscious as gentle hands began to softly cradle her.
-~*~-
Lara was once again in the darkness.
But despite the pain, that familiar ache - she felt comforted. Her senses seemed dulled, everything seemed so hazy, like she was drunk. Lara normally disliked not being alert, but this time it was a welcome sensation. For once, there was nothing to hurry or worry about. Her mind could only focus on one thing and one thing only: rest.
So she did.
For what seemed like a long, long time.
Occasionally, she felt consciousness flit through the surface, and she’d hear vague voices, but she’d always dive back down into the realm of sleep, content just lie still and breathe.
Eventually, though, she had enough. As her thoughts grew stronger, she soon realized that she couldn’t spend eternity like this. There was so much to do, she couldn’t just lie here and sleep forever.
So that evening, Lara clawed herself awake.
She heard the beeping of a medical machine before she scrounged enough strength to open her eyes, she had to be at a hospital. And when she did, Lara let out a little groan, feeling achy and stiff - pain lurking just in the background, aware of something lodged in her arm: an IV.
“Lara…?” There was a rustle of papers.
Blinking slowly, she turned her attention to the source of the voice. For one, frightful moment, she expected to see Sam there, but she knew better than to expect that. Still, she felt a little disappointed when it wasn’t her, but Jonah was still a sight for sore eyes.
“You’re awake…” he commented, eyes watering slightly, putting down the newspaper he was reading. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I've been asleep for a week…” Lara answered softly.
“That's because you had, almost, anyway.”
“... How long?”
Jonah seemed reluctant to answer. He must be afraid she's try to run off, but with injuries like this, it'd be hard to.
“Jonah, how long?” She asked again. “I promise I won't try to leave before I'm healed,” Lara added when he didn’t reply right away.
He sighed. “About four days now.”
Hearing that was both surprising and unsurprising at the same time. She took a deep breath, a little irritated at how much time she wasted being asleep. “... The artifact…?” she questioned him.
Jonah frowned a little. “Don’t worry, it’s safe,” he assured her. “Don’t think about that right now. You’ve been hurt pretty bad.”
Lara wasn’t shocked to hear that. She could feel it. “... How bad?” she asked anyway.
“Dislocated shoulder, some stitches, bruises, a head injury and concussion…” Jonah listed out, shaking his head and sighing. “And etcetera, the doc would be able to explain better than I can.” He visibly swallowed. “You were cutting it close there, Little Bird.”
Suddenly it all made sense. “Explains the headache,” she murmured. And the vision of her parents. She must’ve been knocked silly by the falling rocks. But that realization had changed the murkiness inside her heart into a sharp, jagged pain. It was just a dream, but it had felt so real. It had really felt like her parents were there.
“What’s wrong?” Jonah was looking at her worriedly. Lara loved him, but damn he was so perceptive .
“Nothing,” replied Lara, trying to sound casual.
“If it’s nothing, why do you look so sad?” He was worried. It seems all Lara did was make him worry sometimes.
“I just…” She shook her head a little, wincing a bit at the pain. Lara swallowed. “I just thought I saw some things down there. It surprised me.”
Jonah frowned. “What things?”
“It's silly.”
“It's not,” Jonah responded patiently.
“It is . I… I thought I saw my parents,” confessed Lara, surprised at herself for being forthcoming. Maybe there was something in the IV in her arm that loosened her lips.
“Yeah?” Her friend perked up, curious.
Lara smiled a little, at the memory. “I even had time to have a little chat with them…” She continued. “It felt so real… ”
“Maybe it was,” suggested Jonah seriously, without a hint of mockery in his tone.
“Don't be silly, Jonah. There's no such thing as ghosts.”
Jonah cocked an eyebrow. “But there are undead armies, an immortal body-hopping Japanese queen, and a thousand-year-old-something prophet.”
He had a point there, but, “ My parents aren't ghosts,” she corrected herself firmly. “I was hurt, I was dying. I was just… seeing things I wanted to see. My mind was simply trying to comfort me in what it thought were its last moments.”
“Then why don’t you let yourself be comforted, Lara?” Jonah asked, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to see hallucinations as a good thing.
“The last thing I need is to get comforted by ghosts,” Lara replied pointedly. That would mean she was crazy, and Lara didn’t want that.
“I just mean you don’t have to push yourself too hard,” responded Jonah patiently. “It’s okay to let yourself feel things sometimes, y’know? Instead of trying to push it all away all the time.”
“It was just seeing things, Jonah.” She didn’t want to talk about this anymore. “That’s it. ”
Jonah pursed his lips and let out a long, deep sigh. “Ok,” he said simply. “If that what makes you feel better.” He sounded sad and disappointed, and now Lara felt guilty.
“Sorry,” she apologized. Jonah was just being a good friend, why couldn’t she just be one back? “I just…”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Lara,” Jonah told her with a smile. Lara inwardly flinched, those very words sending a pang of longing deep into her soul. It… hurts. “I’ll go let the docs know you’re awake.”
Lara was put through a litany of questions and tests, all there to gauge her head injury. Thankfully, nothing seemed wrong, and she should be back on her feet within the end of the week; a good thing, considering how much time she’s wasted already sleeping. Trinity won’t stop while she rested, she and Jonah would have to pick up the pace to catch up.
But for now, just for a while, she could rest.
“You know, you were calling for Sam in your sleep,” Jonah remarked when evening turned to night, opening up another can of worms that Lara didn’t want to deal with right now.
“Not now, Jonah,” Lara cut him off before he could say anything more. He should know by now that talking with Sam just made the hurt worse. But any opportunity, he’d still try to bring her up. Jonah meant well, he always meant well, but it didn’t make her feel any better to talk about it.
A person like her couldn’t be with Sam anymore.
Jonah had a disappointed look on his face, but he smiled anyway. “Okay, Little Bird.” He pulled up the covers over her. “Get some rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Thank you…” she whispered, and she closed her eyes, feeling too exhausted to even think anymore.
And, she dreamed. Of her mother’s paintings, of her father’s books, of a home that used to be so alive. Laughter was in the air, her parents were smiling at her.
For just today, for just this night, there were no blood in the shadows.