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Chapter Text

Damian was regretting his life choices. He did that a lot, what with all the kidnappings and hostage situations and increasingly bizarre ‘villains’... (Could Condement King even be counted a villain at this point…? He was more an annoyance than anything…) Anyway, the point is, Damian regretted his life choices a lot. But this made him regret his choices more than anything.

He was sitting in his usual seat at Gotham Academy, the hard plastic chair uncomfortable as he shifted to try and get comfy. Mr. Langford, the unfortunate man who had to try and teach Damian business studies, stood at the front of the room, practically vibrating with excitement. If he had a tail, Damian was sure it would be wagging hard enough that the man would be able to take flight.

"Class," Mr Langford said, voice filled with the kind of joy that no Gotham resident should ever be capable of even feeling, much less expressing. "We have been granted a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity ."

Damian, arms crossed, slouched deeper into his chair. This was a right waste of his time, but Grayson insisted that going to an actual school would be ‘beneficial for his social skills’... or something along those lines, Damian hadn’ really paid much attention after Richard ignored his protests about how he’s already sat all of his exams and that this was a complete waste of his time…

Across the room, Carter Hayes, Gotham Academy’s resident loudmouth and self-proclaimed future billionaire, leaned forward eagerly. "Are we finally getting a field trip to somewhere cool?" ( New money , Damian couldn’t help but internally sneer the moment he first laid eyes upon the other boy.)

"Oh, much better than cool , Mr. Hayes." Mr Langford beamed (was he a Metropolis transfer?), clutching a folder to his chest like it contained the secrets of the universe. "This Friday, our class has been invited to a private tour of none other than Wayne Enterprises !"

The room erupted into chaos.

Thankfully, it was loud enough to hide Damian's horrified groan.

Several students gasped. Someone actually squealed . One girl, Stacy, practically bounced in her seat as she turned to her best friend and whispered something about how she knew this was her chance to meet Bruce Wayne and "accidentally" drop her resume. (Because, of course, that’s how you get hired by a company…)

Even Carter, who normally acted too cool for everything, looked genuinely impressed. "No way. Wayne Enterprises? Like, the real place? With Bruce Wayne?" (Carter’s parents had been trying to find an in with the Wayne family for years now, and Damian should know, given the amount that Tim complained about them over dinner.)

Mr Langford nodded so aggressively that his glasses nearly flew off. "Yes! Wayne Enterprises! The very heart of Gotham’s economic and technological world! The place where cutting-edge innovation happens! The home of-"

" Billionaires who get tax breaks while Gotham’s infrastructure crumbles ," Damian muttered under his breath. (Grayson - being raised in a travelling circus - and Jason - a crime street kid - had opinions about the rich in Gotham. And Bruce was too busy being dead to do much of the raising of Damian, so naturally Damian picked up some opinions over the years…)

Unfortunately, Carter heard him. And Carter. Is a Dick. (And no, that’s not just Damian’s opinion… Dick agrees with him!)

"Ugh, Grayson , don’t ruin this with your whole ‘stick-it-to-the-rich’ thing," Carter groaned, rolling his eyes. 

Damian twitched. There was a knife in his boot… it would be so easy…

He had never wanted to throw someone into a Lazarus Pit more in his entire life.

Of course, none of these idiots knew that he was one of the very billionaires they were fawning over. Or that he owned just under half the company they were so desperate to visit. (Funily enough, Bruce owns exactly none of the shares of Wayne Industries… Tim has just under a quarter, as does Richard, and the rest that Damian didn’t have was split between the shareholders. Being dead does awful things for a person’s stock portfolio.)

Because, at school, Damian went by Damian Grayson .

It had been Richard’s idea, of course.

"You need to have a normal childhood, Dami," Dick had said. "If people know you're a Wayne, they'll never treat you like a regular kid."

Damian hadn’t cared about being treated like a regular kid at the time, because he was not a regular kid. He was the Demon’s Heir. He was the most competent person in this building. Why should he be treated as a commoner ?

But Alfred had agreed with Dick, and since Damian wasn't legally old enough to change his own name yet, he was stuck with it.

So now, instead of Damian Wayne, son of Gotham’s richest and most famous man , he was Damian Grayson, a normal, unremarkable private school student. (And Damian secretly didn’t want to take the Wayne name now… he rather liked being a Grayson…)

And now his entire class was acting as though a trip to his father’s office was the greatest thing to ever happen to them.

Ridiculous.

"Now, of course," Mr Langford continued, "this is an incredible privilege. We must be on our best behavior. This is a professional setting, not some playground!"

Damian highly doubted that.

Half of the security team at Wayne Enterprises was made up of his father’s various vigilante associates or reformed villains, and Damian himself had used the ventilation system to parkour his way through the building at least three separate times this month alone (which may or may not have been designed with the idea of a person crawling though in mind…).

Best behavior. Professional setting. Sure …

Mr Langford was still rambling and Damian forced himself to listen. "We’ll be getting a full tour of the R&D department, the executive floors, and possibly even an introduction to some of the senior staff! If we’re very lucky, we may even get a brief audience with Bruce Wayne himself!"

Damian barely resisted the urge to laugh.

A brief audience?

What, was Bruce going to roll out on a balcony like the Pope and wave at them?

"Bruce Wayne is Gotham’s most important businessman," Langford continued reverently. "Meeting him would be the highlight of any young professional’s life."

Damian hummed, muttering just slightly too loudly. "I don’t know. He seems kind of overrated."

The room exploded in outrage.

"You what ?" gasped Stacy, looking genuinely offended on Bruce Wayne’s behalf.

Carter looked at Damian like he’d just spat in his face. "Are you actually insane? Bruce Wayne is, like, the businessman of Gotham! He’s on every Forbes list that matters!" (Damian knew this; Alfred made sure to hang up all the lists in neat frames in the long corridor in the manor. It was a good thing that it was the long corridor, as there were quite a lot of frames.)

"Exactly!" Mr Langford said, raising a finger. " Exactly, Mr. Hayes! Bruce Wayne is a visionary ! He’s the lifeblood of this city! His philanthropy and genius have shaped Gotham into what it is today!"

Damian blinked.

That was... perhaps the worst endorsement of his father he had ever heard.

"Of course, Wayne Enterprises isn’t just about business," Mr Langford continued. "They’re responsible for some of the most groundbreaking technological advancements in the modern world! The things we’ll see on this trip are beyond imagination!"

The class buzzed with excitement.

Damian stared at his desk, utterly exhausted.

Great. Now he had to spend an entire day pretending to be impressed by a company he had literally grown up inside.

This was going to be painful .

Chapter Text

By the time Friday arrived, Gotham Academy was buzzing with energy.

Damian, meanwhile, was contemplating faking an illness. Or a fake broken bone. Or even an actual broken bone.

He had suffered through an entire week of classmates chattering nonstop about the "once-in-a-lifetime opportunity" they were about to experience. Surely that had to count for some sort of headache-induced sickness?

Even Mr Langford had become unbearable, reminding them every single day that they were about to set foot inside “Gotham’s most prestigious company” , that they would be meeting some of “ the most influential minds of the modern era” , and that they were “ about to step into history itself .”

Damian, of course, had already stepped into Wayne Enterprises’ history several times. He had done so through the front door, the roof, a few broken windows, and at least one air vent.

Still, despite his overwhelming disinterest, he found himself being dragged onto the school bus along with the rest of his classmates, unable to fake an injury (though he had tried, and subsequently been grounded from patrol).

The moment they were seated, Mr Langford stood up at the front of the bus and immediately launched into a lecture.

"Now, before we arrive at Wayne Enterprises," he began, "I want to go over a few important rules."

Damian slumped into his seat. Yaaaaaay…

Mr Langford continued, completely oblivious to Damian trying to glare daggers into his head, "Number one: Do not wander off. Wayne Enterprises is a massive corporation with highly sensitive information. You will follow our guide at all times!"

Damian thought about the twenty-seven different secret passageways in the building and the hidden panic room behind the executive lounge and decided that, technically, he had already failed this rule.

"Number two: No unauthorized recording! This is a private tour, and we will respect the confidentiality of the company!"

Carter snorted. "You think they’re gonna show us the top-secret stuff? No way. They’ll probably just take us through some boring offices and call it a day."

Damian was tempted to agree, but then again, if Tim was anywhere near the R&D floor, there was a nonzero chance of something exploding.

So, maybe not that boring.

"And number three!" Mr Langford continued, practically glowing. "If we are lucky enough to meet Mister Wayne, you will be respectful! This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment, and I will not have any of you embarrassing Gotham Academy!"

Several students nodded solemnly. Stacy looked like she was preparing for a royal audience.

Damian, on the other hand, stared out the window, wondering how hard Bruce would sigh when he saw him.

The bus pulled up to the massive glass skyscraper that towered over the Gotham skyline.

Wayne Enterprises was a beacon of modern architecture - all sleek black steel and high-tech security. The massive Wayne logo sat proudly above the entrance, gleaming in the morning sun.

Damian had seen this view hundreds of times. Possibly even thousands.

His classmates, however?

They were losing their minds.

"OH MY GOD, IT’S EVEN BIGGER IN PERSON."

"THIS IS SO COOL!"

"I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE HERE!"

Damian watched in horrified fascination as a few students actually pulled out their phones to take pictures - before Mr Langford yelled at them to stop.

When they filed out of the bus, a security team was already waiting for them.

Damian recognized the lead officer immediately: Agent Harris, one of Bruce’s private security personnel.

The man’s eyes flicked straight to Damian, widening slightly in recognition before quickly schooling his expression into professionalism.

"Welcome to Wayne Enterprises," Harris said smoothly, scanning the group. "We’ll be escorting you through the building today. Please remain with your assigned tour guide at all times."

Damian could feel the moment Harris deliberately refused to acknowledge him. It was the kind of security discretion that Bruce drilled into his staff - ignore the rich kid who likes to sneak into the building via grappling hook (unless they’re covered in blood, in which case please discretly phone the butler).

Mr Langford stepped forward excitedly. "Thank you, Mr Harris! We are honored to be here today!"

Harris nodded. "Of course. Follow me."

They were ushered inside, stepping into the grand lobby of Wayne Enterprises.

Damian, for possibly the first time in his life, was actually glad that he was using the Grayson name.

Because if these people knew he actually owned this place, he would never hear the end of it.

Chapter Text

The group was led through the executive hallways, where the very air seemed to hum with importance.

Stacy practically bounced as she whispered to her friend, "Can you imagine actually working here?"

Carter grinned. "Oh, I’m definitely gonna work here one day. Probably as one of Wayne’s business partners."

Damian barely resisted the urge to laugh out loud. Father would never work with an idiot like Carter, and he was almsot tempted to tell the other boy such… In fact, Damian was much of the opinion that if Carter so much as stepped foot in the real business world, it would would chew him up and spit him out in under five minutes.

They passed by massive digital screens displaying WayneTech’s latest innovations, all sleek designs and groundbreaking software. Mr Langford kept up a near-constant stream of trivia, clearly trying to impress the group with corporate history that Damian already knew by heart.

"And this, class," Mr Langford gushed, "is where the brilliant minds of Gotham’s future work to develop groundbreaking new technology!"

Carter nudged Damian. "Think they let interns in here?"

Damian stared at him. "Absolutely not."

Carter huffed. "You don’t know that."

I do, actually, Damian thought dryly. Because I’ve personally kicked someone out of this department for spilling coffee on a prototype.

The tour led them to the R&D department, where several engineers were at work - and where, unfortunately, Tim Drake was loitering.

Tim was clearly supposed to be working, but instead, he was sitting on a lab table, lazily spinning a pen between his fingers while drinking his fourth coffee of the morning.

Damian immediately tensed.

Tim had no filter. And even less before his eighth of coffee

And, sure enough - 

Tim’s eyes flicked over the group, landed directly on Damian, and his entire face lit up with recognition.

"Hey, what are you doing here, Demon Spawn?"

The room went dead silent.

Mr Langford’s face paled.

The students froze.

Carter’s mouth dropped open.

Mr Langford rushed forward, horrified. "Mister Drake! That is no way to speak to a student!"

Tim blinked. "Wait, wha - "

Damian kicked him in the shin.

Tim winced. "Ow - !"

Mr Langford cleared his throat. "I apologize for that, class. I’m sure Mister Drake was simply… confused."

Tim, still grimacing, rubbed his leg. "Oh, I’m definitely confused."

Damian shot him a glare.

Tim stared back at him.

Then his eyes slowly widened.

"Ohhhh," he muttered. "You’re pretending to be normal again."

Mr Langford frowned. "I - what?"

Tim smiled way too innocently. "Never mind. Carry on."

The class moved forward, but Damian knew this was only the beginning of his problems.

And if Tim was here?

Then the rest of his family probably wasn’t far behind.

As the tour group moved forward, Damian could feel Tim’s eyes boring into the back of his head.

He was going to be a problem .

Mr Langford, ever the professional, recovered quickly from the “Drake Incident” and led the class toward another hallway, rambling on about “the advanced research conducted here at Wayne Enterprises.”

Damian, meanwhile, was hyperaware of the fact that Tim was still loitering in the background, sipping his coffee like he had all the time in the world.

Chapter Text

That was when things went from bad to disastrous.

Because Jason Todd walked into the room.

Jason wasn’t even supposed to be here.

In fact, Damian was fairly certain that Jason didn’t even work at Wayne Enterprises.

And yet, here he was.

Wearing a stolen Wayne Enterprises security badge.

And eating a sandwich.

He walked in, took one glance at the gathered students, and immediately looked suspicious.

Which, to be fair, was Jason’s default expression.

Then his eyes landed on Damian.

And Damian knew - knew - that he was about to say something stupid.

Jason squinted at Damian.

Then at the tour group.

Then back at Damian.

"...Why the hell are you here?"

Mr Langford gasped. "Sir! That is no way to speak to one of our students!"

Jason turned to him, unimpressed. "And who the hell are you?"

Mr Langford turned a shade of red that was not healthy.

"I - I am a representative of Gotham Academy! And you, sir, are being incredibly disrespectful!"

Jason blinked. Then looked back at Damian, pointing a thumb at Mr Langford.

"Who’s this guy?"

Damian was already considering committing a crime.

Mr Langford cleared his throat aggressively. "I am the head of this field trip, and we are here on an official tour of Wayne Enterprises!"

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Wayne Enterprises?"

He gave Damian a long, slow look.

Then grinned.

"Ohhh," he drawled. "You’re doing a bit."

Damian stiffened. "Todd."

Jason ignored him completely.

Instead, he took a massive bite of his sandwich, still grinning.

Then he turned back to the group and, in the most casual voice possible, asked - 

"So, have they taken you kids to the Batcave yet, or…?"

There was a beat of silence.

Then - 

"WHAT?!"

Mr Langford physically recoiled.

Stacy let out a small squeak.

Carter’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

And Tim, the absolute traitor, nearly choked on his coffee trying not to laugh.

Mr Langford stammered, "I - I beg your pardon, sir?!"

Jason tilted his head innocently. "What? I thought that was part of the tour. You know, ‘Secrets of Wayne Enterprises’ and all that?"

"There is no Batcave!" Mr Langford practically screeched.

Jason hummed. "Huh. Then I guess I wasn’t supposed to see that giant underground lair last week."

Mr Langford looked like he was about to pass out.

"You are lying!"

Jason smirked. "Am I?"

Mr Langford turned to Harris, the security guard.

"Mister Harris! Surely this man is not - *"

Harris, to his credit, had a face of absolute neutrality.

He did not confirm.

He did not deny.

He simply looked at Mr Langford like he was reconsidering his entire career.

Damian was going to kill Jason.

Before Mr Langford could completely self-destruct, Damian stepped forward, scowling at Jason.

"Do not listen to him," he snapped at Mr Langford. "He is a known idiot."

Jason placed a hand over his heart, mock-offended. "Damn, kid. That hurt."

"It was meant to, Todd."

"Still calling me ‘Todd,’ huh?" Jason smirked. "That’s cute. Real cute."

Damian’s eye twitched.

Jason continued, now turning to Tim. "Hey, Replacement - does B try to make these school trips educational, or is it just straight-up corporate propaganda?"

Tim grinned. "Oh, total propaganda. You should’ve seen the PowerPoint last year."

Jason snorted. "Bet it had charts."

Tim nodded solemnly. "There were so many charts."

Mr Langford, who had just barely regained his composure, now looked like he was about to lose his mind.

"You - You people - "

Jason slung an arm over Damian’s shoulder. "Man, you got some real characters in your school, huh?"

"Get your hands off me!"

Jason chuckled, but let go.

Then, just to be an ass, he ruffled Damian’s hair.

Damian’s rage was immeasurable.

At this point, Mr Langford was officially done.

"Security!" he snapped. "Remove this man from the premises!"

Harris, who had seen so much worse, sighed heavily before finally stepping forward.

"Mister Todd," he said wearily. "Let’s not cause any more trouble today."

Jason grinned. "Who, me? Cause trouble?"

Harris gave him a look.

Jason laughed and backed up, holding his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. I’ll leave you guys to your tour."

But just before he exited, he threw Damian a wink.

"See ya later, Junior."

Then he walked off, still eating his sandwich.

Mr Langford looked like he was going to have a stroke.

Tim, still sipping his coffee, turned to Damian.

"So. How’s the whole ‘normal student’ thing going?"

Damian wanted to die.

If Damian thought Jason’s arrival was a disaster, it was nothing compared to what happened next.

Because Richard Grayson walked into the room.

And all hell broke loose.

Chapter Text

Unlike Jason, who strolled in like he was looking for a free meal, Richard Grayson entered with presence.

The kind of presence that made people turn their heads in slow motion, like a scene out of a romantic drama.

He was all effortless charm, his perfectly styled hair bouncing slightly with every step, his eyes bright, his smile warm and easy - 

And he didn’t even have to try.

The effect was instantaneous.

Damian, who was already regretting his existence, froze.

His teacher's assistant, Ms. Kensington, gasped aloud.

Several students squealed.

Mr Langford looked like he was about to weep tears of joy.

And poor Stacy, poor Stacy, clutched at Carter’s arm like she was about to faint.

Because Richard Grayson wasn’t just anyone.

He was - 

Gotham’s golden boy.

The darling of Blüdhaven.

The pretty face of Wayne Enterprises.

Gotham’s sexiest man - 

"Seven years running!" Ms. Kensington blurted out, eyes shining.

Damian wanted to die.

Mr Langford, suddenly rejuvenated after his near-breakdown from the Jason Incident, rushed forward, shaking Dick’s hand so enthusiastically that Damian worried he might dislocate something.

"Mister Grayson!" Mr Langford practically sang. "What an honor to have you here! You should have told us you would be visiting!"

Dick laughed, smooth as ever. "Oh, just passing through! Thought I’d check in on the tour - make sure you guys were getting the full Wayne Enterprises experience!"

Carter, still trying to recover from seeing his teacher fangirl, whispered to Stacy, "Holy shit, he’s even hotter in real life."

Stacy, gripping his arm, could not speak.

Ms. Kensington, meanwhile, looked like she might swoon.

"It’s - it’s such an honor to meet you," she breathed.

And this was when Damian realized he was in deep, deep trouble.

Because while Jason had nearly blown his cover on purpose, Richard Grayson was the real threat.

Because Richard was dangerous in a completely different way.

He was too good at this.

Too smart, too charismatic, too well-trained at handling exactly this kind of situation.

Which meant he wasn’t going to out Damian directly.

But he was going to make his life hell .

Dick turned to the students, flashing them his most charming smile.

"So!" he said, clapping his hands together. "How’s the tour going? Learning lots?"

Mr Langford nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, yes! Mister Harris here has been an excellent guide!"

Dick’s blue eyes twinkled. "*Great! So what part are you guys at now? Corporate history? The financial department? Ooh - have they taken you to R&D yet?"

Ms. Kensington visibly swooned.

One of the students, Daisy, giggled shyly.

"Not yet," Carter piped up, still staring at Dick like he was a celebrity sighting at Coachella. "Right now we’re just - uh - recovering from the guy before you."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "The guy before me?"

Tim, still sipping his coffee, grinned. "Jason."

Dick blinked. Then sighed.

"Of course."

Mr Langford cleared his throat aggressively. "Ah - yes, that man was being quite disruptive, but you, Mister Grayson, are a delightful surprise!"

Ms. Kensington nodded vigorously. "It’s so inspiring, seeing someone as accomplished as you! You must be so busy, yet you still find time to check in on Wayne Enterprises!"

Dick, ever the professional, smiled humbly.

"Oh, well, I do my best!" he said, rubbing the back of his neck in a way that should not have been as attractive as it was.

Ms. Kensington almost fainted on the spot.

Damian, who had been doing an admirable job of staying silent, suddenly found his patience snapping. Because this was getting ridiculous.

So before he could stop himself, he let out a disgusted scoff.

"Tt."

And then - 

Everyone turned to him.

The moment he realized his mistake, Damian froze.

Dick’s eyes flicked over to him immediately.

And Damian knew that Dick knew.

He could see the amusement, the barely-contained laughter.

The challenge.

He was going to make this worse.

Dick smirked.

"Oh, hey! You look familiar!"

Damian’s stomach dropped.

Ms. Kensington beamed. "Oh! That’s Damian Grayson! You’ve actually visited him before!"

Carter, nodding along, added, "Yeah, you came to one of our parent-teacher nights a few months ago. We just thought you were his super cool older brother or something."

Dick grinned. "Oh, yeah? That sounds like me."

Stacy, completely starstruck, turned to Damian. "Why didn’t you tell us you knew Richard Grayson?!"

"Tt." Damian scowled. "Why should I?"

Dick placed a hand over his heart, mock-offended. "Aw, come on, Junior. Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed to be associated with me?"

Damian gritted his teeth. "Don’t call me that."

"Junior?"

"Yes."

"Ohhhh," Dick said, eyes sparkling with mischief. "So you do prefer Little Wing’s nickname for you!"

Ms. Kensington, perking up at the mention of Jason, clasped her hands together.

"You mean the other man from before? The… um…" She hesitated.

Tim helpfully supplied, "The hot feral one?"

Ms. Kensington turned bright red.

"I was not going to say that!" she spluttered.

Dick, clearly having the time of his life, laughed.

Mr Langford, still recovering from Jason’s earlier visit, took a deep, steadying breath.

"Well!" he said loudly. "Mister Grayson, if you’d like, we would love for you to continue leading the tour!"

Dick’s smile widened. "Oh, I’d love to."

Damian mentally prepared himself for suffering.

Because he knew - without a shadow of a doubt - that Richard Grayson was going to drag this out for as long as possible.

And he was going to enjoy every second of it.

Chapter Text

"So, Damian, how exactly do you know Richard Grayson?"

Damian knew this question was coming. He knew it.

He had just hoped, prayed, and willed the universe to prevent it from happening.

The universe, as usual, hated him.

And worse? The person who had asked the question was Stacy, and she had hearts in her eyes.

Because, of course, she did.

Because Richard Grayson was currently the leading cause of brain rot in Gotham’s population.

Because somehow, despite only being here for five minutes, Dick had ensnared every single person in the tour group with his usual brand of effortless charm.

The worst part was, he wasn’t even trying.

It was just that every single person in Wayne Enterprises loved him.

Seriously. Every single person.

As they walked through the halls, people kept waving at him, stopping to say hi, and engaging in friendly conversation - as if he was some sort of local celebrity.

(Which, technically, he was.)

The receptionist at the front desk practically lit up when she saw him.

The security guards gave him fist bumps as they passed.

The people in the finance department grinned and called him by name.

One man even offered him coffee, and Dick, with his never-ending politeness, actually thanked him before taking it.

Tim stared at him in horror.

"How do you do that?" Tim hissed, incredulous.

Richard blinked. "Do what?"

Tim gestured vaguely. "This. The… the Grayson Effect!"

"Tt." Damian scowled, arms crossed. "He doesn’t do it on purpose."

"Which makes it worse!"

Unfortunately, while Tim was having an existential crisis, the original problem had not gone away.

Because Stacy was still waiting for an answer.

And everyone else was listening, too.

Damian knew that if he hesitated for even a second too long, Dick would take full advantage of the situation.

So he glared at his classmates. "Tt. It is none of your business."

Unfortunately, Dick loved attention, and he also loved annoying Damian.

So, naturally, he made the situation worse.

"Aw, come on, Junior," he said, ruffling Damian’s hair. "No need to be shy."

Damian smacked his hand away. "Do not touch me."

Carter, ignoring the obvious hostility, laughed. "Wait, so you do know him! Is he, like, your cousin or something?"

"Something like that," Dick said smoothly, before Damian could murder someone.

This, unfortunately, did not satisfy Stacy, who narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"But I thought you didn’t have any family, Damian. You always get weird when people ask about it."

Damian’s eye twitched.

And then - 

The fatal question.

"Wait, wait," Carter said suddenly, grinning. "Dude, were you adopted by Bruce Wayne too?"

Silence.

For a brief, fleeting moment, Damian considered breaking something.

Possibly Carter’s face.

And then - 

Dick laughed.

It was casual. Easy. Effortless.

Like the very idea of Damian being adopted by Bruce Wayne was hilarious.

"Oh, no," Dick said, his tone deliberate, certain. "Damian has very much not been adopted."

Of all the ways Richard could have answered that question, that was possibly the worst one.

Because instead of clearing anything up, it only made the situation more confusing.

Not adopted?

Then what was he?

A cousin? A secret heir? Some distant family member?

Damian, scowling deeply, resisted the urge to speak.

Because if he said anything now, he’d only make it worse.

So he let it drop.

And, eventually, his classmates did too - mostly because DIck kept dazzling them with his dumb charisma.

And soon the tour continues on it’s merry way again.

Unfortunately, to Damian’s great disappointment, Dick was still there.

And he was still charming everyone they passed.

As they continued through the building, Richard managed to:

Get three different departments to invite him to lunch.

Have a ten-minute conversation with the head of PR about a charity gala.

Compliment a random intern’s sweater, causing her to visibly malfunction.

By the time they reached R&D, even Mr Langford was beaming.

"This has been such an incredible experience!" Mr Langford said, practically glowing. "Your presence really elevates this tour, Mister Grayson!"

Tim, deadpan, muttered, "Of course it does."

Ms. Kensington, trying very hard not to sigh dreamily, nodded. "You really are a wonderful role model, Mister Grayson!"

Damian, ten seconds away from committing a crime, rolled his eyes.

"Tt."

"See?" Dick grinned, throwing an arm around Damian’s shoulders. "Even Junior is having fun!"

Damian bristled. "I will bite you."

Unfortunately, Dick did not take this as the threat it was.

Instead, he just laughed, as if Damian was the most adorable creature in the world.

And that was when Damian knew - 

This was only going to get worse.

Chapter Text

Richard Grayson was a menace.

Damian had always known this.

He had known it since childhood. He had known it since his first week in Gotham, when Richard had inexplicably adopted him (not legally, but in the annoying older sibling way).

He had known it every single time Richard had ruined his carefully crafted plans of intimidation with a single ruffle of his hair.

But today?

Today was a new low.

Because Dick was still here, still charming everyone in sight, still leading this damn tour like he was getting paid to do it.

And now - 

Now there was an interview.

With Bruce Wayne .

Because of course there was.

Ms. Kensington looked like Christmas had come early as she ushered them into the Wayne Enterprises media room.

"This is such an incredible opportunity," she gushed, beaming at the class. "A live Q&A with Bruce Wayne himself!"

The students, predictably, buzzed with excitement.

Damian felt ill.

This was the worst-case scenario.

The whole reason he had never told his classmates about his real identity was because he wanted peace.

(Well, as much peace as possible, considering his life.)

If they ever found out the truth, he would be mercilessly harassed with questions and unwanted attention for weeks.

And now, thanks to Dick’s never-ending desire to make his life miserable, they were about to be face-to-face with his father.

He was going to die.

Tim, ever the agent of chaos, nudged him. "This is the best day of my life."

"Tt. Die in a hole, Drake."

When Bruce Wayne walked into the room, he was the picture of elegance and composure.

His pristine black suit was perfectly tailored, his expensive watch gleamed under the lights, and his whole presence exuded effortless authority.

He was, in every sense, the unstoppable CEO of Wayne Enterprises.

And then - 

He saw Damian.

And in a single moment, all of that composure was completely obliterated.

Because Bruce Wayne - billionaire, playboy, Gotham’s most untouchable man - took one look at Damian in his school uniform, surrounded by his giggling, oblivious classmates, and sighed.

Loudly.

So loudly that the entire room heard it.

There was a brief moment of silence.

And then - 

Chaos.

"Oh my God," Stacy whispered, eyes wide. "Did Bruce Wayne just sigh at Damian?"

"Wait, why?" Carter asked, frowning in confusion. "Does he know him?"

Ms. Kensington, clutching her clipboard, forced a nervous laugh. "Oh, Mister Wayne meets so many people! I’m sure he’s just overwhelmed!"

Bruce, with the air of a man who deeply regretted all his life choices, rubbed his temples.

And then, before he could even attempt to salvage the situation - 

Richard clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, B!" Richard grinned, ignoring the tension entirely. "Guess who’s on the school tour today?"

Bruce closed his eyes for a long moment.

Then, very slowly, he reopened them and stared at Richard in betrayal.

Tim, who was clearly having the time of his life, leaned in closer to Damian. "So, are you gonna explain, or are you just gonna let this play out?"

"Tt. I will kill you, Drake."

Meanwhile, Bruce was already in full CEO mode, schooling his expression into neutral disinterest as he faced the students.

"Welcome to Wayne Enterprises," he said smoothly, as if he hadn’t just audibly sighed at the sight of his own son.

The students exploded into whispers.

"Oh my God, he’s so cool."

"He’s even more handsome in person!"

"Wait, why did he sigh at Damian again?!"

Damian, deeply regretting all his life choices, clenched his jaw.

And then - 

Carter, in a moment of sheer, stupid curiosity, raised his hand.

"Mister Wayne, sir!" he said eagerly. "Do you know Damian?"

Bruce, to his credit, did not react.

Instead, he simply tilted his head, as if considering the question.

Richard, however, was having a field day.

"Oh, you could say that," Richard said easily, smirking. "We go way back."

"How back?" Stacy asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Richard grinned. "Longer than you’d think."

Bruce, already exhausted, pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Dick," he said flatly. "Please stop talking."

Unfortunately, despite the complete trainwreck of an introduction, Ms. Kensington still insisted on proceeding with the interview.

The questions started off normal enough.

"How did you become CEO of Wayne Enterprises?"

"What advice do you have for young business professionals?"

"How do you balance work and personal life?"

But then - 

Then someone asked the question .

"Do you think you’ll ever adopt another kid?"

And Damian stiffened immediately.

Because Bruce hesitated.

It was only for a second.

Barely noticeable.

But Damian caught it immediately.

And so did Tim, who was already biting his lip to hold back laughter.

Dick, however, did not hold back.

Instead, he let out an obnoxious, knowing laugh. "Oh, trust me, that quota is full."

Bruce shot him a warning glare.

Dick, completely unfazed, just winked.

Damian wanted to die.

By the end of the interview, Damian had reached a very important conclusion.

Richard Grayson was the worst person alive .

Tim Drake was a close second.

And Bruce Wayne was never letting the school do another tour here again.

"Tt." Damian scowled, storming ahead as the tour ended. "I despise all of you."

Dick laughed, ruffling his hair again.

"Aww, love you too, buddy!"

Bruce, still massaging his temples, sighed again.

And Tim?

Tim just smirked.

Because Damian’s life was a living nightmare - 

And he was enjoying every second of it.

Chapter Text

Damian had almost made it.

The tour was almost over.

The students were heading back to the buses.

And his secret? Still intact.

Sure, there had been close calls. Dick had nearly blown his cover multiple times, Tim had been an insufferable menace, and Bruce had suffered visibly throughout the entire ordeal - 

But against all odds, they had made it through the day.

Damian had survived.

His identity was still safe.

And then - 

Bruce opened his mouth.

And ruined everything.

It started innocently enough.

As the students gathered at the exit, Ms. Kensington lingered, clearly hesitant to let go of the opportunity to chat with Bruce Wayne just a little longer.

“This has been an unbelievable experience,” she gushed. “I can’t thank you enough for your time, Mr. Wayne! It’s not every day students get to meet someone so accomplished! It’s truly inspirational to see how much you value family.”

Bruce, who was half-dead inside, managed a polite nod. “Family’s important.”

“That’s what makes it so special that you’ve taken in so many children,” she went on dreamily. “I read an article about how you treat them like your own. I mean, I suppose in some cases they are your own, aren’t they? I believe I heard you had a biological son as well?”

Bruce, who was still in CEO autopilot mode, gave a distracted nod.

“Yes, my biological son is actually the youngest.”

And then, with a casual gesture, he waved directly at Damian.

Damian froze.

Tim choked on air.

Richard visibly winced.

And the entire class lost their minds.

"WHAT?!"

"DAMIAN?!"

"WAYNE?!"

"OH MY GOD?!"

The students exploded into chaos.

Ms. Kensington gasped audibly, hands flying to her mouth.

"Damian is - "

"A WAYNE?!"

"HOW DID WE NOT KNOW THIS?!"

"HOW DID WE MISS THIS?!"

Meanwhile, Bruce - who had just now realized what he had done - slowly turned to look at Damian, eyes filled with regret.

"...Oh," he said flatly.

Richard buried his face in his hands.

Tim was dying of laughter.

And Damian - 

Damian was seething.

"WAIT - " Stacy snapped her fingers violently. "THAT’S why you knew Richard Grayson?!"

"He lives with him?" Carter yelped. "He lives with Richard Grayson?!"

“You LIVE WITH BRUCE WAYNE?!"

"You’ve been a WAYNE this ENTIRE TIME?!"

"Damian, why didn’t you TELL US?!"

Damian, whose entire life had just imploded, crossed his arms and scowled. "*Tt. Because it was none of your business."

"NONE OF OUR BUSINESS?!" someone screeched. "YOU'RE A WAYNE!"

"You could have been getting us tickets to galas this WHOLE TIME?!"

"You could have introduced us to TIM DRAKE?!"

Tim snorted. "You guys need higher standards."

"YOU COULD HAVE INTRODUCED US TO BRUCE WAYNE?!"

Bruce, who looked beyond done, exhaled slowly.

"I think it’s time for the students to leave," he said with the dead-eyed exhaustion of a man who had aged twenty years in a single day.

"Wait - "

"No, we have QUESTIONS - "

"When did you get adopted?!"

Richard, always eager to make things worse, clapped a hand on Damian’s shoulder. "Oh, he’s not adopted."

There was a brief stunned silence.

And then - 

"WHAT?!"

"HE’S YOUR ACTUAL BIOLOGICAL SON?!"

"HEIR TO WAYNE ENTERPRISES?!"

"OH MY GOD, YOU’RE LITERALLY GOTHAM’S PRINCE!"

Damian had reached his breaking point.

"Tt. I swear to Ra, I will - *"

"ALRIGHT, TIME TO GO!" Richard interrupted quickly, herding the panicking students towards the buses.

"But - "

"LEAVING NOW! THANK YOU FOR VISITING WAYNE ENTERPRISES!"

Ms. Kensington, still in shock, allowed herself to be gently guided away by one of the security guards.

The students, however, were not done.

Because even as the bus doors slammed shut, even as the engine rumbled to life, even as the vehicle pulled away from Wayne Tower - 

Damian could still hear them screaming inside.

There was a long silence as Bruce, Richard, Tim, and Damian watched the buses disappear.

Then - 

Bruce rubbed his temples.

"So," he said flatly. "That happened."

"Yep." Tim nodded, clearly delighted. "That definitely happened."

Dick winced dramatically. "B is never letting that school visit again."

Bruce did not argue.

Meanwhile, Damian - who was still reeling from his life being ruined - let out a deep breath, then turned slowly to his father.

"You," he said, voice dangerously low, "are an idiot.*"

Bruce sighed again.

"Yeah, that’s fair."

When Damian arrived at school the next morning, he knew immediately that his classmates had not recovered.

There was a moment of silence when he entered the classroom.

Then - 

"WAYNE."

"RICH BOY."

"YOUR FAMILY IS GOTHAM ROYALTY - "

"HOW COULD YOU HIDE THIS FROM US?!"

"YOU LET US THINK YOU WERE BROKE?!"

"WHY DID YOU TAKE THE BUS LIKE A COMMONER?!"

Damian, who was two seconds away from committing murder, exhaled sharply. "All of you are insufferable."

"INTRODUCE ME TO RICHARD GRAYSON - "

And that was the moment Damian officially decided that he needed new classmates.