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Dazai feels the cold barrel of the gun press against his forehead. His shoulder throbs painfully, warm blood soaking through his white clothes.
He looks up to meet Chuuya’s lifeless gaze, grimacing slightly through the pain. Leave it to Chuuya to make the most out of his opportunity to torture him as much as he wants.
The performance is coming to an end, at long last. After this, he’ll bow out of the stage with a flourishing “death”, before making his dramatic return later. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips when he imagines the look on Fyodor’s face upon discovering his revival. Oh, the thrill of this game!
Alas, he still has to play his role until the end. Dazai gazes up at Chuuya wearily, hyper aware of the camera through which Fyodor observes their interaction.
“Perhaps if I spit out a few moving words, a miracle will occur, and Chuuya will return back to normal?”
Chuuya gives no indication that he understood Dazai’s words. Dazai inwardly applauds Chuuya for his outstanding acting - he had no idea Chuuya possessed such extraordinary skills. Perhaps it’s something he can tease Chuuya about later.
“If you think that will help, please, go ahead.” Fyodor’s voice crackles through the speakers.
Steeling himself, Dazai fixes his captor with a serious stare. “Chuuya. Come to your senses. Our fate will not end in a place like this. Because you and I are destined to- ”
Chuuya pulls the trigger.
A bang echoes in the hallway.
And instead of stopping, the bullet pierces his flesh, burying itself deep in his chest.
Dazai blinks dazedly, the wet cough racking his body bringing him back to his senses. He raises a trembling hand to his chest and looks down, frowning when it comes back slick with blood.
He can’t feel the pain, not yet anyways. Lifting his increasingly heavy head, he searches for Chuuya, unable to comprehend the turn of events. Chuuya was supposed to kill him, but not really, only enough for Fyodor to think Dazai was dead.
His vision is beginning to blur. Squinting slightly, Dazai attempts to focus on Chuuya’s silhouette before him. Blood builds up in his throat, causing him to choke and double over. This wasn’t supposed to happen, right? It’s getting difficult to think clearly…
“Chuuya…” he rasps out hoarsely, the gravity of his situation finally catching up to him.
Chuuya staggers backwards, his back hitting the wall with a dull thud. The gun falls from his limp hand, clanking loudly on the pristine white floor.
He has no recollection of the past few hours, not after he was ambushed by several vampires disguised as his subordinates. He remembers one of them sinking their teeth into his neck… trying to retrieve memories of what happened afterwards is like swimming through mud, his thoughts clouded by a thick fog.
One thing’s for certain: Dazai, crumpled before him.
Chuuya’s breaths begin to come rapidly, his eyes blown wide with terror. He shot him. He shot Dazai.
Suddenly remembering that he has limbs, Chuuya scrambles forward, lifting Dazai from under his arms. It’s odd seeing him like this. Dazai, who’d always been the cool, collected one especially when they were in a bit of a pinch. It’s not right. Dazai’s not really dying. This must be one of his elaborate plans, not unlike some of his previous schemes that had Chuuya running around in circles for him.
Chuuya gently turns Dazai up, gingerly placing his body on his lap and cradling his head. He almost melts with relief when he sees Dazai’s eyes flutter open weakly, the rising and falling of his chest ever so assuring.
Sweeping Dazai’s bangs out of his face tenderly, Chuuya resists the urge to shake him, instead settling for a light tap on his cheek. “Hey. Hey. Tell me this isn’t real, that this is the result of some idea you have concocting up there in that big head of yours.” There’s a tinge of desperation in his voice, like he knows this is the end but doesn’t want to acknowledge it. Maybe if he just ignores the fact that Dazai is here dying in his arms, that he shot him, maybe it wouldn’t be true.
Dazai smiles, but it comes out more as a grimace. He tries to muster up some of his usual bravado, lifting a bloody hand to cup Chuuya’s cheek. “I’d like to agree, but we both know that’s not the case.” He jerks and coughs violently, blood dripping out of the corner of his mouth. “You idiot… leave it to you to mess up when it mattered the most.”
Chuuya’s eyes widen with alarm but doesn’t stop himself from muttering, “Hey, I haven’t made a mistake in years, and you’re so quick to judge the moment I slip up even a little.” He does place his hand over Dazai’s on his cheek, though.
Dazai raises an eyebrow skeptically, as much as he can in his weakened state. “I wouldn’t exactly call this a small slip up.”
“I’m sorry, okay? Didn’t mean to shoot you or anything,” Chuuya winces sheepishly, grumbling out an apology. It’s easy to slip into one of their banters, their back and forth somewhat comforting, distracting them from the grim situation at hand. Chuuya brushes his thumb over the back of Dazai’s hand soothingly, a tear involuntarily slipping out and trailing a path down his face.
“I- I’m sorry. Really.” he chokes out, tears welling up in his eyes. It’s more sincere this time, conveying all unspoken words and emotions that they’ll never get to exchange. A hundred what-ifs, a hundred maybes, the thousand possibilities of what-could-bes. None of which would matter now.
The way Dazai bites his lip to keep it from wobbling shows that he understands, too. He presses his palm into Chuuya’s cheek, taking shuddering breaths when breathing starts to get more painful. His vision swims, darkness claiming the corners and threatening to bring him under.
Chuuya suppresses a sob, leaning into Dazai’s touch, keeping a firm grip on his hand. “It’s okay Dazai, you’re okay. Everything’s going to be fine.” He repeats the reassurances, not just for Dazai but for himself too. He fears it’s the only thing left that’s holding his fragile pieces together.
Dazai nods weakly, his eyes struggling to stay open and watch Chuuya even in his final moments. His lips part, forcing the words out with a hoarse voice, “Chuuya, I- I never got to tell you…”
The tears in Chuuya’s eyes teeter dangerously on the precipice. He blinks them away furiously, pressing Dazai’s palm against his cheek. It tears his heart even more to say it, but he pushes it out anyway, to protect his sanity.
“I know, Dazai… I do. And… I’m sorry. I truly am. For everything.”
Dazai gazes up into the sea of blue eyes shining so brightly. His lips quirk upwards in a smile, barely a hint of what it once was, but the same nonetheless. He takes a shallow breath. Then another. Until it just… stops.
Chuuya feels the exact moment Dazai’s hand goes slack against his cheek. Everything’s still for a second, that one sweet, precious second.
Then Chuuya shatters.