Work Text:
Charlie had made a great mistake in talking about his sweetheart with professor Trelawney during Rubeus' birthday party. One, seemingly innocent, question about his own birthday (in another week ma'am) and she started talking about the greyhound that was coming for him. Apparently he had pissed off a minor deity by falling in love with someone born in November.
"It is in the stars! You are an archer and they are a scorpio. It was never meant to be and now you have cursed yourself with infinite sadness, until your untimely death of course."
Charlie did not dare point out that an eternity of sadness would not be all that long if he died young, but feared if he pointed that out, the professor would come up with a more gruesome death in retaliation.
"Alright professor, I'll keep that in mind. But surely it won't be that bad? It is only a star-sign after all."
That, had been the wrong thing to say to the Divination professor.
"What!? Nonononono, this is bad. You have angered them now with your dismissal of their blessings. They will send you to a dungeon so deep down inside the earth you will slowly freeze to death over the course of a million years. And after they will send you flying towards the sun where you will burn for another million years in her flames!"
Charlie was not as up to date on Muggle technology and science as Ginny's girlfriend (and Ron's ex), but he was still quite certain that that was scientifically speaking impossible.
"You do know that that is not how the earth, space travel or aging works, right?"
"Hush, you should not speak Miss Granger. You too are courting death with your defiance in loving a Leo."
Hermione's interruption did nothing to stop the stream of words of prophecy coming out of professor Trelawney's mouth. And it was only when her threats became a bit too graphic for the impressionable young ears present, that Charlie felt the need to try and tell her again that, truly, there was nothing to worry about.
"Professor, I really feel I have to stop you here. There is no reason to think I will slowly boiled alive by my sweetheart's passion, though they sure do have that, in a final act of revenge of the gods we defied by being together. There is nothing to worry about."
Professor Trelawney opened her mouth to spout another prophecy of doom, but Charlie held his hand up and continued to speak. This clearly needed to be cleared up for her to feel better about his destiny.
"Star-signs are about romantic and sexual partners right? Well, then I have nothing to worry about to begin with, but to go back to my sweetheart. She is the most beautiful lass I have ever laid eyes on. Fiery red, she took quite a liking to my hair and fluffs it up every chance she gets. Big, majestic, the love of my life, a dragon named Scorpia."