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Riko knew she shouldn't have looked. She knew what was going to be waiting for her. And yet she had dared to open up her socials.
Why did she do that to herself? She should know better at this point. Nothing but pain waited for her when she looked there.
And she did it at the worst possible time. Why did she do it?
"Riko-chan?" A voice startled her out of her spiral for a bit.
Riko looked up from where she had been staring at her turned off phone. Chika stood in front of her, giving her a worried look.
"What's wrong?" Chika asked.
Riko shook her head. She didn't want to admit how stupid she had been. Chika would be disappointed in her. She told her constantly to not look. To stop caring what other people had to say about her, but she couldn't.
Chika took Riko's phone from her grip before she could react. Riko tried to grab it back, but Chika already had it open and was looking at what she had just seen. Riko gulped as she waited.
Her fate was sealed. There was nothing more she could do but wait and see how badly Chika was going to react to it.
"I'm sorry..." Riko whispered. Maybe apologizing would soften the blow just a bit?
"Don't listen to them Riko-chan. They don't know anything about you. They're just jealous they aren't as good as you are." Chika stated, handing Riko her phone back, the screen black once more.
"I know... it's just so hard not to listen to them sometimes..." Riko mumbled.
She knew it was stupid. They were random strangers on the internet that she would never meet. Why did it matter what they thought of her? Why couldn't she just ignore it and move past them.
It wasn't even the right topic they were discussing about her. She was the one blowing it into a whole new problem then what was actually in front of her.
"You have a wonderful voice. Don't let them tell you otherwise." Chika said, placing a hand on Riko's shoulder. "They're jealous of you. And you know they don't mean it like that."
"I know... but what if one of them does mean it in a transphobic way? What if someone knows and I get exposed? I... I can't..." Riko shook her head, trying desperately to fight against crying.
She was blowing this out of proportion again...
"No one knows you're trans. I promise. It's okay. They're not saying that because they know. I think they'd make it a lot more obvious if they were. Why would they not expose you in a easier to understand way if that was what they were trying to do?" Chika reasoned with her.
Riko took in a deep breath. "I... guess you have a point. I'm sorry... once my mind starts going it's hard to get it to stop."
"I know. It's okay. We're going to get there with it. One day you won't think that way so quickly. I assure of them, Riko-chan." Chika smiled at her.
Riko managed a smile in return. "Thanks, Chika-chan..."
"You ready to go on? We have maybe 10 minutes till it's time."
"I'll survive. I can't let them stop me from doing this."
"That's the spirit!"
Chika held out a hand at Riko. Riko stared at it for a moment before she took it and let Chika pull her to her feet. Chika tugged her out of the room she had been hiding in and back toward the others. Riko took a deep breath and hoped she could act as normal as possible.
That hope was quickly ruined as Chika exposed everything that had just unfolded between them. At least everyone acted kindly to the news and didn't push much more. Just made sure to remind her that they all cared.
If it wasn't for the short time they had before going on, Riko was sure more would have come of it. Nonetheless, it was nice being reminded there were people out there who did care about her no matter what.