Chapter Text
Wanting is something very dangerous. It can lead to courage and determination, valuable assets on the path to victory. But it can also make one careless and lead to actions that are more destructive than do any good. It can spark a hope that, in the end, will shatter and leave you more broken than before.
He Xuan blinks. “There must be some salt water in my ears. Could you repeat that?”
It's a warm summer evening and the two Ghost kings are relaxing on the private terrace of paradise manor. He Xuan, for his part, was relaxed until Hua Cheng suddenly opened his mouth and let out words he never thought he would hear from him.
The red Supreme scrutinizes the disbelief on the other's face before repeating his suggestion. Slower, this time. “We should kiss.”
“Funny. Really, your weird humor almost got me.” The black Ghost king rises from the divan and turns around, ready to leave.
“I wasn't joking.” Hua Cheng takes a step towards him. “Listen, I've been thinking,” The black Ghost king raises an eyebrow, but Hua Cheng doesn't let it faze him. “Once I find His Highness, I want to be prepared for anything. I want to be everything he needs.”
He Xuan crosses his arms. “I fail to see the connection.”
The red Supreme tightens his shoulders. “If His Highness... if he... wants to find out what it's like to kiss someone, then I want to be his best support for that as well. Whether as an advisor or... a test subject.”
Silence overtakes the terrace, save for a few noises of the rising night. He Xuan brushes some strands of hair out of his face. “Let me get this straight: You want us to kiss so that you can have the possibility to teach your crown prince in the indefinite future, should there ever occur a situation where he wishes to experiment?” Not that it's far-fetched that anyone would be curious about kissing Hua Cheng. That man is a walking painting, save for the jingly sounds of his too many accessories.
“Correct.” Hua Cheng agrees.
He Xuan starts to regret leaving the tranquility of his island this morning. “Haven't you already been able to gather enough experience over the past centuries?”
The silence that follows is an answer he never expected. He Xuan's eyes widen. “Wait, wait - You've never kissed anyone before?”
Even before he has fully spoken the question, he realizes how unnecessary it is. Standing before him is the Ghost king whose sole purpose in staying in this world is for one person. Centuries of uninterrupted devotion would hardly be tainted by a few adventures.
Nevertheless, Hua Cheng always seems so... confident. As if he has already seen and experienced everything in the world. To learn that there is actually something that the red Supreme is not already well-versed in is... disconcerting.
He scrutinizes Hua Cheng as he considers his offer. After working together for so long, he doesn't expect the red Calamity to try to trick him. But it's an old habit to look for traps. Hidden meanings. Consequences he has overlooked.
“Why me?” He Xuan finally asks.
“You have experience, you are... decent in everything you do. You're available,” Hua Cheng enumerates before faltering. A little more quietly, he adds, “And you're the only one I can confide in.”
A rare vulnerability flits across the red Supreme's face. He Xuan realizes how serious Hua Cheng is about this situation. Slowly, he lowers his shoulders. “It’s really that important to you?”
Determined, Hua Cheng meets his gaze. “Danxia deserves the best.”
There is silence for a while before He Xuan groans. “Fine.”
Before he can question his decision, he walks towards Hua Cheng, startling the red Supreme into taking a step back. Contrary to his confident aura, what they are about to do is uncharted territory for him. And maybe it feels just as weird for him to know that it’s He Xuan he’s about to kiss.
He Xuan, on the other hand, seems to know how to proceed. Waiting, he looks at the red Supreme. “Should I change my form?” The black Ghost king, as Hua Cheng knows, is a master of imitation. He has seen enough paintings and sculptures to imitate the crown prince's appearance flawlessly. It wouldn't be the first time.
But Hua Cheng shakes his head. “No.” That would feel wrong. He Xuan nods. It would have been awkward for him anyway.
The black Ghost king waves Hua Cheng closer until they are face to face. Up close, it's clear that the red Supreme only towers over him by a few centimeters. Nevertheless, it gives him an air of grandeur. As if it is still Hua Cheng who is in control of the situation.
He Xuan is determined to show him otherwise. He puts both hands on the Ghost King's waist and pulls him even closer. Hua Cheng staggers in surprise and reflexively seeks support from the black Supreme's shoulders before glowering at him. “Can't you warn me before you do something like that?”
Unimpressed, He Xuan returns his gaze. “Sorry, did you expect it to be different? You know that you need a certain closeness to the other person if you want a kiss, right?” The red Ghost king's eyes narrow. “Just get on with it.” The corner of He Xuan's mouth twitches. “Whether you like it or not, we're doing this so you can learn. That means you have to do what I say. Understood?”
Hua Cheng snorts. “Let's see if you earn that privilege. Who knows what your experience is really worth.”
“Shut up.” He Xuan orders and grabs the Supreme's chin with one hand. Surprisingly, Hua Cheng really stops speaking. Instead, he looks at the black Ghost king waiting, an amused glint in his eye. Oh, He Xuan will show him!
If he had his way, He Xuan would treat him roughly. He would put him in his place. But this isn't about him. It's about Hua Cheng learning how to kiss a (probably) untouched god.
That’s why He Xuan releases his firm grip on his chin and instead places two fingers underneath it to hold it in position, gentler this time. “You have to move slow.” he murmurs as he shortens the distance between their faces. “Don't overwhelm him. Give him time to adjust.”
Hua Cheng's eye widens as He Xuan comes close enough for their noses to touch. But he obediently stays put. The corner of the black Ghost king's mouth twitches at the realization that the red Supreme is not quite as relaxed as pretended.
“Breathe.” he instructs quietly. “It helps.” His words leave a tickle on the red Supreme's skin. He takes a few breaths through his nose. He Xuan lingers with his face close to the other's and waits until Hua Cheng is calmer. “Ready?” he asks to make sure. Hua Cheng tilts his head very slightly. “Mn. Do it.”
With permission granted, He Xuan overcomes the final distance and touches the red Ghost king's lips. It's barely a graze, and yet Hua Cheng's hands claw harder into his shoulders. He Xuan waits a moment before repeating the featherlight touch. Only then does he properly press his lips to the red Supreme's.
Hua Cheng's lips are as cold as his own. It feels strange to kiss someone again after such a long time. Especially someone who is not his fiancée. But as unfamiliar and strange as the situation may have been at first, it is not unpleasant now. He Xuan pulls back for a moment and moistens his lips. “Try to mirror what I do.” Then he kisses him again.
This time Hua Cheng reacts. He moves his lips slowly, slotting them together until they mold to the black Supreme's as if they were shaped for it. He Xuan takes his fingers off his chin and grasps the back of his head instead, guiding the Ghost king with light movements. What he didn't expect is the hand that moves to the back of his neck and holds him there. He manages not to flinch, but Hua Cheng has realized that something is wrong.
This time he is the one who interrupts the kiss and pulls back a little. “Is this alright?” he asks, eyeing He Xuan attentively. The black Supreme is stunned by the question before he nods. “You can touch me.” he assures him. After all, he told him to mirror the gestures.
Hua Cheng's mouth twists into a grin. “Can I, now...” he murmurs in amusement, running his hand from the back of his neck down his throat. The black Ghost king rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“No, I think you need to be clearer.” Hua Cheng replies, still grinning. “I thought you were going to teach me something. So, what do you want me to do? Where exactly can I touch you?”
He Xuan decides to seize the moment for himself. Once again, he leans forward, Hua Cheng meeting him halfway. Just before their lips can touch, He Xuan's hand moves to the red Supreme's back. Hua Cheng gasps in surprise.
“You can touch here,” He Xuan murmurs by his ear as he traces the Ghost king's spine with two fingers. He then lets his hand rest on his hip. “Here...” he suggests. With his free hand, He Xuan grabs the black hair and pushes it aside to reveal a pale neck. “Or here...” His lips nip the soft skin and he could swear he feels a shiver run through Hua Cheng. The reaction shakes him out of his passivity.
He Xuan feels two large hands moving over his torso. Slowly, almost... sensual. The Ghost king has to suppress the urge to gasp for air. How long has it been since he was touched by someone? Hua Cheng parts the black hair, as he was taught, and leans down to brush his lips gingerly over exposed skin. Careful. Attentive.
He Xuan's hands claw into the red fabric of his counterpart. This is about the Crown Prince, he admonishes himself. This is just practice, and he must fulfill his role as mentor. The black Supreme feels long fingers slip between the folds of his collar and tug it loose. He Xuan intercepts them and brings the red Supreme's face in front of his. “Your prince...” he begins. “Don't overwhelm him. For some, the skin can be very sensitive. Let him get accustomed to the feeling.”
“Mn. Got it.” Hua Cheng follows his lead and they go back to exchanging kisses. It's innocent, just the way someone who has no experience needs it to be. So how come He Xuan can't get enough of the feeling of soft, cheeky lips on his? He ignores the feeling and instead focuses on teaching Hua Cheng. And teaching. And teaching.
He doesn't know how much time has passed before he remembers a crucial point. Abruptly, he breaks away from Hua Cheng. The latter looks disappointed for a moment. He Xuan pushes away the sensation it evokes in him. “Breathe.” he mumbles, his gaze instinctively falling on the glossy lips in front of him. “Don't forget to give your god a breather.” The Ghost king watches as the reddened lips curl into an 'O'. “Right.” “Let's... start breathing.” he suggests. “To get a feeling for when to stop.”
From then on, they make sure to take artificial pauses, as breathing beings would need to. Somehow, consciously taking a breath makes the experience even more intense. He Xuan has to suppress a shudder. “As soon as he's ready,” he mutters during one of the short pauses, ”you can go one step further.”
“How?” The question is no more than a breath brushing his cheek. Even though their faces are so close, Hua Cheng's eye wanders everywhere. It's as if he can't decide on one spot to look at. The unfamiliar glint in his gaze stirs something in the black Ghost king. Something dark, something that doesn't want to be controlled.
Instead of a verbal explanation, He Xuan leans forward and parts his lips as soon as they meet those of the Ghost king. A tongue probes forward and coaxes the red Supreme to allow it entry. Surprisingly obedient, he complies with the request. However, just as he explores Hua Cheng's mouth, he gets a taste of his playful side that seemingly can’t fully be repressed. This time, He Xuan can't stop the shiver that runs through him as a hand travels up his back. When it reaches the back of his neck and begins to draw small circles, the black Ghost king is almost distracted. Almost.
Determined not to let him get the upper hand, he feels for Hua Cheng's collar and pulls him impossibly closer. He uses the surprised gasp from the red Supreme to bite his lower lip. Hua Cheng lets out a choked moan that obviously wasn't planned. He Xuan can't help the triumphant smirk forming on the corner of his mouth.
Is he shaking the self-control of the normally impregnable Supreme? The thought alone runs a rush of excitement through him. But he knows that this is not for his pleasure. Almost reluctantly, he remembers the original aim of this exercise.
“Alright, you've been good. Now it's your turn.” Heavens, he's definitely gonna ignore the sound that he got in response to the first sentence. Hua Cheng clears his throat. “My turn?” The black Ghost king hums. “You want to worship your god. So do it. Show him how much you adore him.” He is sure that Hua Cheng sees the challenge in his eyes. The red Supreme lickd his lips before leaning down to He Xuan.
This time, he lets Hua Cheng take the lead. Kiss after kiss, he allows himself to be lured into parting his lips. When he gives in, Hua Cheng enters his mouth. Gentle but firm, with a finesse that only the talented Crimson Rain Sought Flower can muster. He cleverly uses every little trick that He Xuan had taught him before.
Although He Xuan is a very calculating ghost, he did not anticipate the effects that the red Ghost king's full attention would have on him. His hands roam over the black Supreme's waist with a matter-of-factness, as if he belongs to him. As if each of his touches wanted to convey a message. Mine . He Xuan lets out a sound that he would have been ashamed of if he hadn't had other things on his mind.
He feels strangely powerless under Hua Cheng's ministrations. No, that's not the right word. It's more like a... shift in control. One that tempts him all too easily to give in. To let go and stop caring about anything. Just take the leap and fall . Hua Cheng’s gentle touch and unyielding nature almost seem like a reassurance to catch him. To hold and care for him, to never let him go. He Xuan shudders.
He can feel it. Hua Cheng is made to worship. With each touch, he can feel the devotion vibrating in every fiber of Hua Cheng's body. Devotion to someone else, but still. It does something to He Xuan. He feels... worthy. Loved. It's not real. It's not really him that Hua Cheng worships with all his might. Still, it's hard to hold on to reality while he's literally in the arms of a Supreme.
The thought flutters through his chest like newly awakening life. For the first time in centuries, He Xuan feels something akin to fear. But this feels too good to give up. They have both gone too far, too lost, to end it. He Xuan pushes the fear away and focuses on the red Ghost king.
When was the last time they took a breather? Hua Cheng must have sensed his question, or perhaps He Xuan was careless in keeping his reactions in check. The red Supreme pulls back with a grin that's clearly too smug for a rookie.
“What, you thought I'd venture into new territory without reading up on it first?” His voice is breathy and a lot deeper than when he started. He Xuan ignores the tugging in his stomach in favor of scowling. “Don't get cocky just because you've read a few scrolls. They can't teach you everything.”
It's not like He Xuan is an expert in kissing. (He only ever kissed one person.) But Hua Cheng's constant teasing makes him want to get back at him. To prove to him that He Xuan is good enough. That he knows what he's talking about, and that Hua Cheng would do well to follow him.
The red Supreme hums, audibly amused. “That's right. I see my teacher is also trying his very best to educate me. ” He Xuan rolls his eyes. “Shut up.” The grin in response is irritating. “Make me.”
With a scowl, he grabs the back of Hua Cheng's head and pulls him back a bit to expose his throat. At the point between shoulder and neck he bites down. The red Ghost king moans in surprise. He Xuan smirks in satisfaction as he licks the area to soothe the skin. His bite was firm enough to leave teeth marks. Good.
A possessive growl makes its way through his throat. He wants others to see that the Ghost king is not untouched. That it is him who made him lose composure like this. Judging from the sounds of Hua Cheng, he has no problem with it.
Driven by new motivation, He Xuan moves up the pale neck. Between jaw and ear, directly on the carotid artery, he takes another bite. A little lighter this time, so as not to tear the thin skin, but it has an effect. If the two of them had not been standing so close together, He Xuan would hardly have felt Hua Cheng's knees give way for a moment. Reflexively, he grabs hold of him to hold them both steady.
Triumph pulses through his body. That was him. He has brought Hua Cheng to his knees, if only for a moment. The red Ghost king pulls He Xuan even closer until no more parchment fits between them, seeking his mouth to claim him again. As if possessed. He Xuan is only too happy to lose himself in the kiss, which is longer and messier than any before.
In the whirlwind of different feelings that Hua Cheng's closeness evokes in him, an idea emerges. An urge to give something back to Hua Cheng. The feeling his attention causes is better than anything he has felt in the centuries before. Almost like an ascension. He can't explain it, but he wants to make Hua Cheng feel it too.
Can he risk it, slipping out of the role? Can he worship him too, just a little? He tries.
Once he realizes what He Xuan is about to do, Hua Cheng tries to block him, catch him and go back to his routine. The black Supreme grasps his chin and forces him to pause. “Let me”, he breathes.
Doubt flickers in the red Ghost king's gaze, but he would never deny his god anything, so he holds still. He Xuan rubs circles over his chest in an attempt to calm him down. His movements are clumsy. He has long forgotten how to be gentle. But he does his best. Hua Cheng deserves his best.
Still, he will never reach the same level of gentleness as that Highness. Instead he does what he can do best: he devours. By eating him alive he hopes to make Hua Cheng understand just how worthy, how desirable he is. He sends kisses over his skin, devours his mouth, lets his hands wander over his body without ever getting enough and holds him tightly, so tightly, pressed against him.
Seeing Hua Cheng respond just as enthusiastically, hearing, feeling what He Xuan is doing to him... it's a heady feeling. He's drinking it. Drowning in it. He feels more alive than in all the centuries before.
Until he makes a mistake.
In a hasty movement, his fingers accidentally brush the edge of the eye patch and lift the lid slightly. Hua Cheng freezes. It pulls He Xuan far enough out of the fog of his senses to realize his mistake. Hastily, he pulls his hand back, but it's too late - he can feel Hua Cheng's muscles stiffen underneath him.
The red Ghost king breaks free from the entanglement of limbs they have become and steps back as if he has been burned. He Xuan watches him, silent like a fish. Half of his consciousness is stuck on what they both have done just moments ago, while the other half is searching for an explanation. An excuse. Anything at all.
“Hua Cheng... I-”
“Don't.”
Hua Cheng's expression is as neutral as ever, but he doesn't look at him. Instead, he concentrates on adjusting his bracers. “This should be enough practice for now.”
He Xuan smoothes out his robes as well, if only to give his hands something to do. His mind is racing. They were so close just a moment ago. Although Hua Cheng is only a few steps away, the distance feels much greater. Colder. “You...” He Xuan begins, unusually hesitant.
“I suppose I have to thank you for your lessons. They were indeed… insightful.” Although Hua Cheng keeps his voice even, He Xuan still hears something icy in it. A tone that is normally meant for his subjects. The black Ghost king can't avoid the sting in his chest at being so obviously rejected.
Rationally speaking, He Xuan knows what's going on. He has known the red Supreme for too long not to understand. He knows that this isn't really about him. That it is he who has made the mistake of touching a boundary that was not meant for him to breach. Nevertheless.
“You can go now.” Hua Cheng declares, still unwilling to look at him. “I'll make sure my subjects deliver a sufficient repayment for your efforts within the next few days.” With a dismissive gesture, he points to the door.
He Xuan straightens his back. “Alright.” There's only so much humiliation he is willing to take at once. Without wasting another glance at Hua Cheng, he storms through the door.
As he makes his way through paradise manor, he is overcome with shame at what he has done. That he had allowed himself to let go. That he dared to hope for one tiny moment -
Stupid. It was stupid. He pushes the shame away and instead lets the anger roll over him like an ice-cold wave, washing away any illusions to bring him back to reality.
He Xuan storms through the dark night, which is surprisingly cold for summer. The cold can't harm the Ghost king, but that doesn't mean he can't feel it.
Wanting is, indeed, something very dangerous. More dangerous possibly than any weapon he ever encountered. Because once it developed, there is no way to destroy it.