Chapter Text
“Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.”
Mike blinks up at Harvey, pen dangling from between his lips. He’s obviously waiting for something to follow, but when it doesn’t come, he tilts his head.
“...What about it?”
Harvey regards him for a long moment, before dropping the file in his hand. Mike follows it with his eyes, narrowing in on the title of the printed sheet of paper.
“Is this to do with a case? Why have you – why have you printed out a list of ADHD symptoms? From WebMD too? Come on dude.” Mike reaches out for the file, the pen dropping from his mouth and into his lap, leaving a dot of navy on the light grey material of his trousers. It makes Harvey a little bit want to smack him.
“Don’t call me dude. Read it.”
“Read it?”
Harvey simply cocks an eyebrow, and Mike groans.
“Fine.”
He drops the file onto the desk – Harvey’s desk – and lifts his head, meeting Harvey’s eyes. Defiant. Bold.
“Adults with ADHD may often present with symptoms such as, often being late or too early or forgetting things, restlessness, trouble controlling anger, impulsiveness, trouble staying organised, procrastination, easily frustrated, often bored, trouble concentrating when reading, mood swings, depression, excessive fidgeting, body-focused repetitive behaviours, easily distracted, overplanning or poor planning, being overly organised or disorganised, substance use or addictive behaviours, emotional dysregulation, time blindness, sensory processing disorder, sensory sensitivities, social anxiety, racing throughts, sleep issues, persistent and unwarranted sense of guilt and/or shame and low self esteem.”
He’s jiggling his knee, legs restless and jerky as he rattles off the list. He's always perfectly still in court, laser focused and attentive, but when it’s just the two of them, when Mike doesn't have his earphones in to keep him focused… he fidgets. He fidgets a lot. He doesn’t even realise he’s doing it, whether he’s jiggling his knee like he is now, absently shredding bits of paper, doodling on Harvey’s files – never the important ones though, he’s a slob but he’s not that bad –, tugging at the strand of hair that curls so enticingly behind his ear, or picking at his nails or the hems of his jacket or even absently yanking on his tie... He just does not know how to sit still.
There’s a moment of silence between them before Mike leans forwards, still holding Harvey’s gaze. He opens his mouth to speak, but Harvey beats him to it.
“Turn the page.”
Mike turns the page, eyebrows furrowing as he scans the sheet before him.
“You’ve highlighted it?”
“Read.”
Mike looks up again, then rolls his eyes.
“No, not until you tell me what this is for, because I can’t think of a single case we’re working on right now where ADHD is even remotely relevant.”
Harvey sighs. “Will you read it if I say it’s for a new case?”
“That depends on if you’re lying.” Mike says with a shrug.
“Does it?”
“Nope.” Mike pops the p, then grins. “Adults with ADHD… blah blah blah… often being late, forgetting things, restlessness, impulsiveness, trouble staying organised, easily frustrated, often bored, trouble concentrating when reading – oh, and you’ve added a note here for pleasure – , excessive fidgeting, body-focused repetitive behaviours, easily distracted, poor planning, being overly disorganised, substance use – nope, you’ve added an ab there – substance abuse, time blindness, social anxiety, racing throughts, sleep issues, persistent and unwarranted sense of guilt and/or shame and low self esteem.”
Harvey nods, then sits across from Mike. It’s ridiculous, because Mike is sitting in his seat, covering his desk in his mess, chewing on his pens, drinking out of his mug, and Harvey is just letting him. No one else is allowed to abuse his space like this, no one else is ever allowed to get this close to Harvey, and yet Mike has walked into his life and inserted himself right up in Harvey’s pocket like it’s casual, like it’s normal. Like he has no idea how completely unnatural this is for Harvey.
“Harvey.”
“Mike.”
“Harvey, why am I reading these?”
“Mike. Those symptoms, the highlighted ones. Who do we know that they match?”
The question seems to stump him and he looks down, scanning the yellow-highlighted page.
“Uh…”
For a man whose mind works at speeds Harvey could only compare to a computer, this is the first time he’s seen him legitimately unsure. Normally he’d at least be able to pull something out of his ass, but he doesn’t know.
“Michael. Think. Who does this sound like?”
“I… I… I don’t know Harvey, I don’t – we don’t know anyone who –” Harvey cocks an eyebrow, and Mike gets it. “Oh.”
If there’s one thing that Harvey can never get over, one thing he really truly loves – and yes, love is a strong word, but it’s true – , it’s the moment Mike Ross gets it.
It’s the kind of moment every lawyer can only dream of, where everything clicks into place and it all just makes sense. It’s the kind of moment that good lawyers get once – maybe twice – in a lifetime. Harvey’s not a good lawyer, though. He’s a great lawyer, and these lightbulb moments happen more for him than the majority of people, but Mike?
Mike understands things. He understands everything. That’s the difference between Mike and most lawyers – aside from the glaring lack of a degree –, other lawyers already know the law, they understand the world they work in. Mike doesn’t. Mike makes connections without any of the knowledge to back them up, and that’s what impresses Harvey so much. No normal person understands things the way Mike does, because Mike is smarter than every normal person. Hell, he’s smarter than everyone who isn’t normal, too. He’s even smarter than Harvey. Not that he’d ever admit it.
And, he’s just so expressive about it. It’s never a secret to anyone in the room, because it’s such an unconscious thing that he doesn’t even know how to hide it.
His bright blue eyes widen, thin eyebrows try to merge with his hairline, and he focuses in, the world narrows down exclusively to whatever’s going on inside his head. No matter where he is, no matter what he’s doing, when it clicks, it clicks.
“Me?”
Mike looks genuinely dumbfounded, his leg stilling as he stares up at Harvey. His mouth is open, just a little, and god the puppy metaphor had all just sort of started as a joke but it fits so well.
“Yes. You.”
“Harvey, I don’t – I don’t have ADHD.” He says, the crease between his eyebrows furrowing deeper. “I– that’s ridiculous.”
Harvey sighs, tamping down the smile curling at the corners of his mouth.
“Where’s your phone?”
“In my pocket?”
“Is it?”
Mike pales, and pats his trouser pockets, then his jacket pockets. When it proves not to be there, he scans the table.
To no avail.
“No… I… I don’t know where it is.”
Harvey reaches into his own jacket pocket, pulling Mike’s phone out of it.
“That’s because you left it in the men’s bathroom yesterday.”
Mike sighs, reaching out for it, but Harvey holds it up and out of his reach.
“Not so fast rookie. You have your mind, but your phone spends more time lost than it does in your possession. Eight o’clock sharp means anywhere between eight ten — at the earliest — and nine fourty five. You never stop moving, you’re a total idiot who follows his heart rather than his stupidly massive brain, when you’re not working you lose your train of thought because you’re like a toddler on speed, your apartment is disgusting and I don’t need to remind you of the circumstances within which we met. You tell me you’re ten minutes away when you’re round the corner, but you say you’re five minutes away when you’re at least fifteen, and I have never met a person with more feelings than you. You’re so riddled with anxiety over nothing and the amount of those awful energy drinks you consume doesn’t help that. I mean – come on, when was the last time you got a full night’s sleep Mike? Seriously?”
Mike drops his head, hands twisting together as he picks at his nails. He looks small, hunched down into himself like this, and Harvey almost feels bad. Almost. There’s not actually any reason for it, because it’s not like this is the kind of thing warranting getting upset over. But then again, he really has never met anyone with as many emotions as Mike Ross.
“I…” Mike sighs, then buries his face in his hands. “Seriously, dude?”
“Do not call me dude. And seriously. Everyone knows, Mike, you’re barely functional on the best of days, and wildly dysfunctional most of the time. If you’re going to follow in my footsteps, then you need to understand why you act like you act and… well, how to get around it.”
Mike looks up, peeking through his fingers. It’s truly impressive how pathetic he manages to look, like a kicked puppy, (there was no way he was this wretched when he was an associate, Mike reaches a new level of distressed and helpless) and he blinks those big blue eyes up at him.
“But if I have ADHD, then wouldn’t I know?”
“When was the last time you slept properly? For more than six hours and in an actual proper bed.” Harvey’s voice softens, just a little. Not enough that he could ever dare be accused fondness, or emotion, or caring. He doesn’t care. Not even a little.
(An awful, devastating lot.)
Mike shrugs, letting his hands fall into his lap as he settles back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling.
“I dunno. I don’t think I’ve even had an evening to myself since you hired me… and actually – I didn’t really do a whole lot of sleeping before that.”
The corners of Harvey’s mouth twist down into a frown and he leans forwards, kicking a foot out to knock Mike’s ankle with his shoe. It’s always been a little bit of a joke that Mike doesn’t know how to take care of himself, but Harvey doesn’t like when it slips out, when the fabric of the lies wears a little too thin and reality rears its ugly head. Mike might be the smartest guy Harvey knows, but he’s also a complete idiot when it comes to anything other than law.
“Mike… you work yourself to the bone, I don’t think you could even tell me what day it is right now, how the hell would you have even realised something’s wrong? Or – not wrong, but different. You’re already different, how would you know?”
Mike shrugs again.
“I guess you’re right. But seriously? Everyone else knows? It’s – it’s obvious?”
“It’s obvious.”