Work Text:
“Good work today. I’ll see you all after the holidays. Stay safe!”
Shigeo left his algebra class with a smile on his face for the first time ever. Circled in the top right-hand corner of the math final he took today was a little 81 circled with a smiley face drawn in a quick blue pen.
He got an A.
In math.
A class he had fought battle after battle with to even get a passing grade in. This was more than simply scraping by. This was passing with flying colors.
He couldn’t wait to get home to tell Teru. No doubt he soared above his classmates as always. It didn’t make him any less proud of his hard work, especially the hours of work he put in for a fashion elective he was taking.
Just the thought of Teru alone brought a smile to his face. Soon, he would be in their own home. Their small, shared apartment they both rented for their first year at university. A cozy little area filled with memories of study nights, sleepovers, and, of course, cooking.
Shigeo was slowly learning to cook from Teru’s expertise. It was never something he did at home due to the nature of his psychic powers. No one wanted a kitchen on fire from a startled Shigeo.
But with Teru around, cooking was a much easier task to accomplish. He flipped the pancake a little too high? He stirred the dough a little too fast and sprayed it everywhere? He accidentally set the omurice on fire? There was a familiar yellow aura to save the pancake, catch the dough, or put out the flames.
It was comforting knowing there was someone to catch you when you fall.
Shigeo was hoping he could help with dinner tonight again. Teru had gotten into the habit of having ingredients ready for the two of them for some evening cooking practice.
He waltzed up the stairs with a new spring in his step, fiddling with his keys as he did so. He slipped it in the door's keyhole with ease and practically barged in, singing, “I’m home!”
He expected to see blond hair poke from around the corner of the kitchen to greet him in return, a familiar sparking aura accompanying him…
…but there was nothing.
That’s alright. He must be busy with something else. They all had big exams they just took, and Teru was the kind of person who needed a recharge after a test day. He was always the perfectionist.
Shigeo rounded the corner, peaking to see if any ingredients were laid out for the two of them to begin.
The kitchen was empty. Practically spotless. There was no Teru to be found either.
Although that wasn’t entirely abnormal, it was normally not a good sign. Teru was a creature of habit. Or at least, he was around Shigeo. Just another trait he admired his partner for. Shigeo was the kind to have a routine he felt comfortable in, so even if Teru had altered their plans, he always checked in with Shigeo first.
So what was abnormal was the lack of checking in. The lack of ingredients, the lack of a hello, and the lack of Teru was churning a gnawing pit in Shigeo's stomach.
He had only looked in the kitchen. There was no need to overreact until he looked in the rest of the apartment.
Their bedroom was the first place to go. Quick feet carried him to the door to their shared space, his hand opening it with haste. It wasn’t hard to tell Teru wasn’t here.
Oh. The water was running in the bathroom to the left, the light patter accompanied by small wisps of steam coming through the cracks of the door.
Ah. A shower, then. No need to panic.
Shigeo sighed at his nerves as he padded over to the bathroom door, knocking and calling out, “Teru? I’m home. Did you want me to start dinner today?”
He was met with the patter of water and an absence of human voice.
Odd. He must be really tired from the day. Or he didn’t hear him. “Teru? Is everything alright?”
Nothing. Just water and steam.
…steam. There was quite a lot of it now that he thought about it. Little wisps were slipping through the cracks of the door that separated them. That shouldn’t happen, but when Shigeo pressed his ear again the door, there was no sound of a ventilation fan to suck up the excess water droplets.
“Teru?”
A little bit of his aura reached through the crevice of the door, searching for a familiar sparking aura.
A sickly, weak one answered in turn.
“Teru, I’m coming in.”
He opened the door and froze.
Steam poured out of the shower in alarming amounts, thick as fog. The countless water droplets clung to his skin, his body desperately trying to cool him off with sweat that refused to form.
It was suffocatingly hot. Especially for a person.
And that person was slumped against the back of the shower. Teru’s knees were hugged to his chest, his head limply resting on them, unmoving. His skin was an angry red as the water beat down on him mercilessly, clouds of steam rolling off his limp limbs.
Shigeo’s powers moved before his mind did.
The faucet was wrenched shut with frazzled blues and purples as Shigeo skidded on the drenched tile to where Teru bonelessly sat. Gently, with shaking hands, he put his over Teru’s. He couldn’t stop a gasp from escaping as he touched burning skin.
Teru barely responded, his head straining to move through the thick fog, until he finally looked at Shigeo, gazing at him with glassy eyes.
“Teru, we need to get you out of here, okay?” he pleaded. “It’s too hot in here. I… I don’t know what’s going on, but I- I have to get you out.”
He was met with a half-hearted hum, the lack of energy in Teru’s response only churned the anxiety in Shigeo’s stomach.
The hands resting on Teru’s own moved to cup his face, gingerly moving Teru’s eyes to meet Shigeo’s own. He was met with glassy eyes and a half-opened mouth, no sign of lucidity in sight.
“Teru, can you hear me? Please, I need you to stay awake, okay?”
The small wheeze that came from his partner alerted him to what was about to come. In an instant, Teru’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he collapsed into a pair of shaking arms.
The bathroom was too quiet. Only the sound of Shigeo’s beating heart echoed through the cramped room, the fog of hot steam choking him.
He had to move.
He had to do something.
Neither of them could stay in this room.
Shigeo could carry him. Yeah, okay, he would just carry him to the bed, and then he could dry him off. He hooked his arm under a pair of limp legs and used the other to support Teru’s shoulders, making sure his head stayed upright and against his shoulder.
Teru was a dead weight in his arms, but he had to get them out of here. Lift with your legs. There we go. Okay, out of the bathroom. There. The bed. Shigeo gently laid Teru on the soft plush covers, making sure to prop his head up with fluffed-up pillows.
A flick of his powers turned the ventilation on and slammed the door to the steamy room shut, protecting them from any further heat.
And now he just… Shigeo didn’t know what to do next. This was beyond his knowledge.
Except, there was that one summer. One really hot summer, when he and Ritsu were kids. They had been in the park all day when Ritsu began to feel dizzy and sick. “Just mild heat exhaustion,” his mom had told him, “but we need to go home for the day. We should have brought more water.”
That’s what this looked like with Teru. Only Ritsu never fainted. Never had skin that was a screaming red. Never stopped sweating altogether.
He needed to cool him down, and fast.
Tense sparks of blues and purples lit up the apartment, grabbing washcloths, bowls of cool water, ice packs, anything he could think of to bring back his partner.
He started with a dry, fluffy towel, making sure to dab lightly at the hot water that clung to Teru’s skin. A small part of his shoulder was starting to blister.
He had a burn. Why did he have a burn? Did they even have burn cream anymore? Teru said he had an old bottle when he lived alone, but he didn’t need to use it anymore. Maybe they had aloe?
Another touch of the towel to sensitive skin, and Shigeo saw a slight twitch in his face. He was responding. He was responding, thank goodness.
It just dawned on him that he never checked Teru’s body temperature. A cabinet door was opened in the kitchen, and from it flew a thermometer, zipping into Shigeo’s waiting hand. Teru’s jaw was already slack, making it easy to slip it under his tongue.
Waiting for the results felt much too long. And what if it was at a dangerous temperature? What should he do then? Should he call 119? What if it was too late? What if he should have done that in the first place?
God, he should have done that in the first place, dammit. He was messing all this up. Teru needed him and he was messing up-
38.9 C
That was… not great, but not life-threatening. Teru has had fevers worse than that. He could… he could work with that. He couldn’t help Teru if he got worked up.
Put the furniture down, Shigeo.
A clatter rang through the apartment as the pieces fell back down to the floor. He was just glad the bed was not a victim of his emotions. Teru didn’t need to be shaken in more ways than one.
Shigeo began taking all the washcloths he had and dunked them in the cold water bowl before wringing them out to dampness. One by one, he placed them on Teru’s arms, his pelvis, his legs, and most importantly, his head.
Teru’s eyes fluttered open, and Shigeo released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was almost back, but at a closer look, Teru’s eyes weren’t all that focused, staring more into space than their little apartment.
Teru's head lolled to the side, sluggishly staring in Shigeo’s direction.
Shigeo couldn’t stop his shaky smile, breathing out a ‘thank goodness.’
Sickly yellow trickled from Teru, aimlessly wandering around the bed he was lying on. Eyes trained on Shigeo, Teru's mouth moved, but no sound made it to his ears.
“Teru?”
His mouth moved again. “Shi…” The wisps of yellow aura found his Shigeo's, clinging to it desperately.
The anxiety twisted into a knot, and his stomach rolled. Teru’s eyes were widening and he was breathing in shallow, wet breaths.
“Teru? I- can you hear me?”
Teru blinked groggily, eyes hardly meeting Shigeo’s own. The aura pawed at his hand with an emotion behind it Shigeo couldn’t place. Teru was breathing faster, the glassiness behind his gaze slowly turning to panic.
“Teru, I don’t, I don’t know what you need, I-”
“Bucket-”
Bu-? Shit-!
Shigeo yanked the trashcan by the side of the bed, landing it directly by Teru’s side just in time for him to surge forward and empty what little he had in his stomach, coughing and gagging as clammy hands gripped the white basket for dear life. Every hurl cramped his stomach, Teru slouching even further into an exhausted mess over the trash can.
Shigeo held Teru's hair up, his own black hair lifting off his head as he just held onto him with gentle, shaking hands, murmuring everything and nothing as Teru continued to gag over the little white bucket.
The gags turned to coughing, and the coughing turned to ragged breaths until Teru was limply hunched over the basket, breathing deep and slow, exhaustion taking over his body. The trash can was taken from him and put down close by, and Shigeo watched as Teru collapsed back onto the bed, his palms flying up to cover his eyes.
Shigeo waited a beat, watching Teru’s chest rise and fall as he refused to remove the hands digging into his eyes. A glass of water coated in a blue aura settled into Shigeo’s hand as he sat on the side of the bed. “Teru? Do you think you can drink this for me?”
Teru didn’t move to take away his hands, but he did nod his head.
Shigeo placed the glass to his lips, and Teru began taking small sips of water, breathing deeply through his nose. The hands stayed put.
“Teru? Can I see you?”
A beat, and the hands came down, revealing tired, red rimmed eyes. He sniffled a few times, glazed eyes staring intently at the ceiling, away from Shigeo.
The water running down Teru’s face was not sweat.
“Teru-”
“I’m sorry.”
Shigeo wasn’t sure he heard him right. He didn’t know what he was apologizing for. “For what?”
His body shuddered as he took a shaky breath. “I didn’t mean to.”
Shigeo’s mind came to a halt. Didn’t mean to.
“Didn’t mean to what?”
Teru's voice faltered.“I didn’t mean to go that far…”
“I don’t understand.”
The yellow aura was leaking out of him in droves, becoming heavy, collapsing around him. “The shower. I didn’t…”
Shigeo didn’t remember when he laid down beside Teru. When he wrapped him in an all encompassing hug, oh so carefully avoiding the angry, red patches of skin. When his hands started shaking and his hold on his panicked aura began to slip from his grasp.
One question was forced to the forefront of his mind:
“Was that… on purpose?”
Teru’s answer was burying his face in Shigeo’s shirt as a wrecked sob ripped itself from his chest.
Shigeo’s shirt became damp with a mixture of clammy sweat and tears as he did the only thing he could and held Teru as close as possible, a hand placed protectively on the back of his head.
Teru fell apart, hiccuping and choking on spit as he clawed at Shigeo’s shirt to bury himself further away from his sickly aura that threatened to overtake the room.
A crack in Shigeo’s heart quickly patched itself up. He couldn’t break now, not with Teru falling apart at the seams. Not with how fragile he was at the moment.
Even if the phrase ‘Not on purpose’ refused to give him a moment's rest by crowding his every thought.
Emotions were pulled tight against Shigeo's skin, swirling, seething beneath the surface. Teru didn’t need that right now. But even with all the progress he had made in the past couple of years in controlling his powers, nothing could have prepared him for this.
It was easy to be angry at Claw for hurting Teru. It was easy to be angry at the Hanazawas for hurting Teru.
It wasn’t easy to be angry at Teru for hurting himself.
Even if he didn’t mean to, even if there was an explanation for all of this, he didn’t need Shigeo’s emotions to be directed at him at this moment. That conversation would come later. He needed to be present for him now.
His aura calmed itself, the building powers subsiding into something less, something colder. Teru visibly relaxed at the temperature drop, pressing his burning forehead into Shigeo’s frozen skin as his sobs slowed to wimpers.
They laid there in silence, Shigeo running hands through damp, messy hair as he let his partner breathe for as long as he needed, the muffled fan in the bathroom the only other sound that accompanied them.
Gently, Shigeo murmured, “How are you feeling?”
A beat, and Teru pried his head away from Shigeo’s chest, eyes puffy and downcast. He started to say something, but the second he breathed in, a fit of wet coughs wracked his body.
The glass of water was back in Shigeo’s hand as he waited. “Slow. Take your time.”
Teru nodded, taking the glass from Shigeo and taking small sips while breathing carefully, not wanting to irritate his throat any more than it was now. “Thanks.” He swallowed a few times before trying again. “I’m… better.”
Okay. Better he could work with. The empty glass was discarded by the nightstand with his aura. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Teru sighed, bonelessly sagging back into Shigeo’s hold. “Not really.” His gaze fell to Shigeo’s chest as he mumbled, “I don’t even know where to start.”
“That’s okay.” Gentle hands combed through Teru’s hair, slowly working through the tangled strands. “Can I ask what happened with the shower?”
Teru slurred back, “Made it too hot ‘nd I passed out.”
That was more than just too hot. That was scalding, dangerously hot. “Why?”
“I just… needed the world to stop for a moment. A hot shower would clear my head, or at least, make me dizzy enough to make it quiet. It helps me sleep when I can’t. But…” Teru shook his head, eyes staying put on Shigeo’s chest. “I got too dizzy, and I was so out of it that I didn’t turn it off like I normally do, and I just… sat there.”
“Like you normally do? You’ve done that before?” Shigeo’s voice was too loud.
“Never to that extent.” Teru’s was too quiet.
Never to that extent, or Shigeo would have found out long ago. “For how long?”
“Huh?”
“How long have you been doing that without me knowing?”
Teru said everything in his silence.
Shigeo’s hair slightly lifted from his head. “Days? Weeks?”
“Years.”
Shigeo's voice broke. “Years?”
“Not consistently, but yeah. I’ve been doing that for a long time. Probably since my parents left.”
Another puzzle piece slotted itself into Teruki Hanazawa’s past, adding another scene to the horrific picture it accompanied. A scene of Teruki Hanazawa having something so overwhelming happen to him that he had been making himself pass out from the heat to stop his own thoughts from crowding his head.
And he didn’t tell Shigeo until it was too late. Until something really scary happened.
They had worked so hard. They had built so much trust. They had spent countless days and nights pouring their souls out to each other, crying together as Teru cursed his upbringing and the perfectionism that came with it. They were partners, and even though they had rough moments, they always put in the work to keep each other safe. To love each other.
But an old habit dies hard. And it manifested into a far more dangerous one than Shigeo realized.
The walls groaned under the weight of the realization.
“You’re mad,” Teru whispered.
“Yes. But that’s not important right now. What made you do that?” He was being too blunt, the words hitting much harsher than he wanted.
“It’s stupid.”
“Not if it made you do that.”
“But it is. You’re already mad.”
“I am, but I need you to tell me. Please.”
“Shigeo, it’s fine. It just a stupid-”
“Stop. Saying. It’s. Stupid.”
The room shook, and a thick black shadow boiled over, crawling up the walls, threatening to take over what little light was peaking from their windows.
Teru tensed in his grip, pressing himself impossibly close to his chest.
Shigeo froze, the aura snapping back almost as quickly as it had escaped from his grasp as he saw Teru shrink in his hold. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t helpful.”
“No. It’s alright.” His voice was shaking. “I needed to hear it.”
But as Teru’s face drew back every so slightly, Shigeo saw a tear slip down his cheek. He didn’t need to hear it now.
Shigeo sighed heavily. “I don’t want to push you right now, but when you feel better, we should-“
“I failed a class.”
The hand Shigeo has in Teru’s hair stopped. “Failed?” The project he had been working on day and night for the past few weeks had failed? “But you had such a high grade in the class. How-“
“‘If you fail the final, you fail the class.’ That’s the professor's rule.” Teru flopped a hand half-heartedly into the air, letting out a sarcastic ‘woo hoo’, before letting it fall back to the bed.
Shigeo didn’t understand most of the work Teru did with his one class surrounding fashion, but he knew that Teru had poured all his spirit and passion into his final.
But if there’s one reality Shigeo had learned after moving in with Teru, it was that ‘Shigeo grades’ were different from ‘Teru grades’. ‘Shigeo grades’ sat at a comfortable high C average, with anything above that an impressive feat. ‘Teru grades’, on the other hand, were very high. Too high in Shigeo’s opinion. Anything less than an S was considered not good enough for his partner.
And now he suddenly completely failed a class. One that would live on a transcript forever. Shigeo had lived through a few failures in his life. Teru didn’t know how to.
“It wouldn’t hurt so bad if- if I didn’t mess up when I presented it. It started out good, but as I kept going, I started to doubt myself. Everyone was staring at me, and I really, really hated it. I don’t know why it happened now. I’ve done plenty of other presentations in class with no issues. I just… felt like my old self?”
“Your old self?”
“Arrogant. I felt less like I was giving a presentation and more like I was bragging to everyone about how amazing my design was. And I thought it was! I was proud of it! But I froze. For the first time, I just froze in the middle of my whole class.”
Teru huffed. “And now I’m going to have a failure on my transcript for the rest of my life because I couldn’t just push through some stupid exam.”
A zing of yellow pierced through the air.
“And all the shit I went through this week leading up to this damn day was wasted. None of this meant a single. Damn. Thing.”
Teru balled his fists. “Even after this whole week of not sleeping and bad meal times and awful, shitty nights out with classmates who I only hung out with to make connections, which meant I lost even more sleep! and oh! Of course rude comments from my fucking asshole of a professor who seems like every student he comes across is nothing but a punching bag for him! I just-!”
A flash, and Teru groaned in pain as his hands flew up to his forehead. The yellow flitting around the room vanishing instantly. “I just…” his aura dropped, and alongside it so did the last of Teru’s energy. “I just want to sleep, Shige. I’m tired of not sleeping. I’m tired of this class. I’m tired of caring too much.”
Shigeo hugged him tightly, fearing that if he let go, Teru would turn to vapor and leave him alone in their shared room. “I’m sorry the world made you feel this way. But you’re worth more than a grade, Teru.”
Teru nodded, puffy eyes meeting Shigeo’s own. “I do feel better, though. I’m glad you’re home.”
A small knot loosened itself in Shigeo’s stomach. ‘Home.’ He was glad Teru called it that too. “I’m glad too. We can’t change the past. What’s done is done. We can talk about what to do next time.”
“Oh, believe me, I’m never doing that again. Lesson learned. I feel like Shit” he dryly laughed.
Teru’s growling stomach interrupted their moment of calmness.
“When’s the last time you ate?”
“My stomach felt weird before the presentation, so…” he trailed off, leaving Shigeo with another not-answer.
“Not even breakfast?”
Teru shook his head. “I’m not sure I can eat right now anyway. My stomach feels weird.”
“Not eating and throwing up will do that.”
Teru dryly laughed. “Right as always, Shige.”
Shigeo’s powers guided his cellphone into his hand, and takeout was quickly ordered. ‘Lots of fruits and vegetables,’ his mom told him when he needed to rehydrate.
“Is there anything you want to do right now?”
“Until the food gets here? Sleep.”
“Do you need some help?”
“Some help?”
Strong arms guided Teru’s head to his chest, fingers carding through now dry hair. Shigeo gave his powers one command before gently guiding them to mingle with Teru’s exhausted aura: Relax
A gentle weight settled over Teru, the yellows leaking through his drained body slowly being gathered and pressed back into him, Shigeo working through each and every kink and knot in his powers. A shiver, a rush, and Teru felt a wave of cold energy move from his head and slowly work its way down to the tips of his toes.
Blue eyes gave him a final sleepy look of gratitude, until they closed. With every knot undone, a limb loosened its tension. With every kink unfurled, a calming weight pressed him further and further into the mattress, until the sleep that Teru had been wishing for for months finally took him under.
Even with all the unresolved emotions swirling through Shigeo at the moment, he knew that his love for this man, whom he held so gently, was so much more than the anger he felt a moment before.
He knew it was going to be okay, and he knew this would not be the last conversation they would have about it. And he knew that once they finished their meal for the night and headed off to bed, Shigeo needed to go and cry in a field on the outskirts of Seasoning to release the hurt and fear and anger that were still balled up inside him.
But right now, he had his boyfriend sleeping peacefully in his arms, with the stress lines in his face finally relaxing and fading.
All he cared about right now was staying right here, keeping him safe and sound.