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Jason couldn’t stop crying. His hands were bloody, there was dirt everywhere. But that didn’t matter. He got out. Now he just wanted to go home. He wanted to wake up.
“Bruce?” It was a plead to the universe for his dad to come get him. To show up. He wanted to go home. He wanted the nightmare to be over. But there was no answer. The rain came down harder.
“D?” He called. He would kill all the monsters. He would be there. He was always there when Jason needed him. He remembered the phone number. Yeah Slade would take care of him. He would make everything alright.
With renewed determination Jason stood up, he had to search for a phone. He didn’t even see the car.
….
Jason burst out of the water. He can’t breathe. He gasps for air.
“Jason.”
He’s soaking wet. He feels like he’s crawling out of his skin. Out of his coffin.
“Jason.”
Everything is tinted green. He feels a hard grip pulling him out. Calling his name again. The grip is unyielding and firm on his arm. It still feels like he’s underwater.
“Jason, it’s okay. I got you.” Jason is flooded with memories of nights on roof tops and a solid presence. I got you kid. He told Jason on rough nights.
“D?”
“Bruce isn’t here. That’s okay. I’ll help you.” The voice tells him soft and smoothing. Jason registers for the first time that the voice is female. Jason looks up only to lock eyes with Talia Al Ghul.
…
He’s out with a teacher the first time he gets access to a phone. They’re in a hotel and Jason is left alone in the room. He stares at the phone. He picks it up and his fingers linger over the numbers. He could call anyone right now. That thought scares him as much as it eases him.
He’s stood frozen as he contemplates who to call. He doesn’t have a lot of time. His teacher will come back soon and they can’t know he called anyone. Whoever he calls it’s going to have to be straight to the point. What would the point be? What would he even say? In the end he goes on instinct. He dials the number he knows by heart.
He worries when he finishes pressing all the numbers that it’s no longer in use. Maybe it changed. The phone rings three times before it’s picked up.
“Hello?” Jason inhales sharply at the deep voice that answers. “How did you get this number?” Slade demands on the other side voice far more threatening than previously.
Jason opens his mouth to answer but hears footsteps just outside the door. He hangs up and moves away from the phone quickly. His teacher enters looking at Jason suspiciously. He stands by the window relaxing so his body language is the picture of boredom. In the end he isn’t suspected of a thing. He keeps being the perfect pupil. In the back of his mind all he can think is, the number is same. He can reach Slade.
…
“Talia. I want Deathstroke.”
“What?”
“I want to train under deathstroke.”
“He’s not known for taking students.”
“Convince him. Tell him you have a student he can’t refuse.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” She tells Jason. Eyes narrowed, a curious look on her face.
A few days later Talia approaches him after his training. She’s got a yellow envelope.
“He agreed to take you. You will being training at one of his facilities next week.” Talia tells him an even more curious look in her eyes, bordering on suspicious. Jason takes the envelope, face perfectly blank. He gives Talia an appreciative nod though. She leaves after that. Jason stares at the envelope in hand. For the first time since he died he’s going to see someone from his past. He’s going to see Slade again. Jason hopes he won’t try to behead him for wearing a ghost’s face.
…
He rings the buzzer of the safe house. There is a clicking noise then “Come in.” Through the intercom. A knot of anxiety forms in his stomach at Slade’s voicemail. He made it. He’s just inside. Jason steels him self.
Jason walks into the house and is met with the sight of Slade standing in the foyer arms crossed over his chest. Unwavering gaze fixed on him. Jason stands frozen in the door way. He had all these ideas of what he would say but now that he is here, he’s coming up blank.
“Hood off.” Slade demands. Jasin steadies himself before pushing the hood back meeting Slade’s gaze. Slade’s face twitches and the words just spill out of Jason.
“Hey you got a cig? I left mine with a gargoyle.”
Slade moves faster then he remembered. Jason braced for the assault. The interrogation. But it didn’t come. Instead all Jason felt was strong arm wrapped around him tightly. Jason could help but cling back. Slade was the one person he never worried about judging him but his immediate acceptance calms something in Jason.
“Heard you died kid.” Slade said into his hair.
“I did. I walked it off.” Jason told him attempting for humor but it fell flat even to his ears.
“Talia?” Slade questioned and Jason nodded against him.
“I’ve always had shit luck.” This time sounded like an admission rather than their usual easy way of comfort. Slade just hummed and squeezed him tighter. Jason’s eyes begin to sting at the gesture and he burrows his head into Slade's chest. Slade let him stay there while he holds him. When he final pulls back Slade surveys Jason.
“You’ve been back a while?” Slade ask even though he probably knows the answer. Jason doesn’t care.
“Yeah. It’s a bit fuzzy.” Jason says. Not ready to explain the pit and catatonia. The thought of it makes his skin crawl. Slade places a hand of his shoulder grounding him.
“Your back Jace, that’s what matters.” Slade comforts. It works Jason feels him self relax. Slade watches him for a moment before asking “You still not smoking?”
“Nah. Dying rendered the whole ‘those will kill you’ argument null and void.” Jason told him humorously.
“Come on, join an old man for a smoke. I still have a pack of those god awful cigarettes you like.” He says nodding his head to the patio.
“I knew they would grow on you” Jason says in way of agreement.
“Yeah you did.”
Slade lead them to the outside patio. It was dark by now but Jason didn’t mind, he honestly kinda preferred it that way. They settled on the edge of the porch, overlooking the mountains in the distance. Slade handed him a cigarette. It tasted of nostalgia, painful and burning and filled with memories. It made it easier to tell Slade everything. To explain how he ended up dead. Jason tells him that he was benched and why. What happened in Ethiopia and what led him there. Coming back, the grave being the only he remembers before the pit. He tells him of his time with Talia and living with league. Slade listens to it all. He snarks and scoffs at some bits. Swears at others. Most important Slade believes him through all of it. The dark skies, cold concrete, his favorite cigarettes, and Slade sat next to him listening. It’s reminiscent of so many similar nights. It feels safe. It feels like home.
…
Jason is lost in thought when Slade says him name. Bringing back to the present. Before slade can say anything else Jason starts speaking. He wants slade to know what hes about to say.
“I was going to call you before I died. When I landed in Ethiopia I ran into Bruce because I was looking for a pay phone.” Jason tells Slade. “The entire time I was in the warehouse I kept wishing I called you.” Jason admits. Its something he gets stuck on sometimes. Jason is pretty sure he never would have died if he just called Slade.
“We can’t change the past. What matters is you did call.” Slade tells him in response. “Even if it was only to hang up on me.” Slade teases and Jason startles.
“You knew it was me?”
“Only one other person than you had that number and I know it wasn’t them.” Slade confirms. Jason stares at him in shock.
“But as far as you knew I was dead.” It doesn't make sense. Slade levels him with a flat look.
“We live in a world of aliens and gods. You calling me after dying is absolutely something you are stubborn enough to do. Besides after Talia’s call, it seemed like too much of a coincidence for it not to be you.”
…..
Some days later after a particularly grueling day of training, Jason starts to get snippy with slade again. Instead of getting annoyed, he smirks and takes it all in good humor.
“It’s good to have you back kiddo.”
“When did you get so soft D?”
“I’ve always had a soft spot for you. We both know that. I don’t know if any one has told you since you came back but I missed you. I glad you are alive. I don’t care what it is that killed you or brought you back. I just care that you are here. You deserve to be told you are wanted, that you were missed. You made a impact. I failed so many people in my life. I don’t want to fail you too. Not again. “
Jason was speechless. Slade is an asshole, one that cares, but an ass nonetheless. Having him openly admit all of that has Jason feeling unbalanced. Makes the backs of his eyes burn. Because yeah Jason can’t remember the last time he was genuinely told he was wanted so plainly. That someone cares that much.
...
“What’s the plan?” Slade questioned. A few days ago Slade asked why he was pushing himself so hard. Jason told him. He has a plan. That he was going to return to Gotham with a vengeance. At the time Slade didn’t question it. Jason supposes he should’ve expected this.
“Make the replacement suffer.” Jason seethes. Just thinking about him. “Batman can’t go unpunished. I’m going to make the new Robin wish he was dead.” Jason says ready to plot out the pain he’s going to inflict. He’s not ready for Slade's face to harden.
“No you aren’t .” Slade tells Jason firmly.
“Yes I am.” Jason doubles down.
“No. That’s Talia talking, not you.” Slade says
“The fuck it is!” Jason spits.
“You try to go through with that and I’ll stop you at every turn.” Slade tells him evenly. It takes Jason back. Slade has never opposed him on matters of his life. He’s never leveled Jason with a cold unmoving expression.
“What happened to being on my side?” Jason asks. Betrayal is clear in his voice. Slade’s expression softens a bit but it’s still firm.
“I am on your side. Your side. Not Talia’s. The kid that died wouldn’t want to punish a child for the mistake of their guardian. And don’t say it’s not true. I was there when you said that kids in Gotham are blameless. I was the one you told that kids trying their best are not the ones that should pay. The little shit that was cut up over not being able to do enough for people. You were a replacement too. You know what it’s like to try and fill those shoes. This isn’t your grief. This is her voice in your head.”
“You think I don’t know what ideas are mine! What-“
“No!” Slade slammed his hands on the table in front of him. Jason looked at Slade in shock. Slade took a deep breath before staring at Jason with piercing eyes. “I already lost one son to the whims of a cult! I will not lose another.” Jason just sat there speechless. Gapping like a fish. The rest of the conversation faded into the background.
“Son?”
“You are a snarky, blunt little asshole. That, if possible, would have given me gray hairs. So yeah you’re my son. You're stuck with me, kid. Deal.”
…
“You want to go back?” Slade’s face does a complicated thing when he ask. Jason knows they’ve come to more of a middle ground in his plan but Slade is stuck on the last bit of it. Jason doesn’t know how to get through to him.
“He’s my dad.” Jason tells him helplessly.
“But is this the best way to do it? He’s not going to kill him, Jace. Why set yourself up for failure?” Slade asks. Jason knows he’s trying to sound tactical but he can hear the concern in Slade’s voice. Jason has to do this.
“I have to be sure. I have to confront him with the reality of what he’s let happen.Besides someone has to take care of Crime Alley. I’m done being ruled by his morals.” Jason tries to explain. A look of pity graced Slade’s face.
“You're going to break your own heart, Jace. “
…
One thing that always made Jason trust so easily is the fact that he’s always known where he stood with Slade. Slade is blunt and to the point. He he wanted Jason dead he would make it known. He also makes it known that he cares. It was a stability Jason was never really able to final anywhere else.
…
Things were good staying with Slade. Jason felt good. Stronger, more in control than he has in a while. It doesn’t stop the wrongness of his second from lingering though. Some massively fucked up things have happened to him. Jason can’t seem to escape them.
“Hey don’t shut down on me. You never had before, don't start now.”
“What was it like? After you got the super soldier serum.”
“It hurt like hell.” Slade tells him flatly. Jason gives him a look. Then Slade gets a slightly more contemplative expression on his face. “I felt like a different person. It was disorienting having all these different abilities I didn’t before. I didn’t know how to handle it at first. It was like going through puberty again. “
“Your body feels like it’s not yours.” Jason says in understanding.
“Yeah. I was told that when I first came out of it it I killed multiple soldiers and scientists in a blind rage.” Jason has to take a second to breathe after Slade’s words. The story is starting to sound all too familiar.
“You don’t remember?” Jason asks
“No, I was in and out of consciousness a lot at that point. I know I was in a coma for a while but after I woke up some things went down and I got discharged. There’s some time missing. It was kind of like sleep walking, your body deciding before your mind.” Slade explains. The similarities make Jason ache
“It’s like that for me sometimes too. The rage, the missing time. I don’t feel in control.” Jason tells him, Slade nods in understanding.
“It takes time. Believe me I know. I didn't handle it as well as you are. I used to go to bars and pick fights. Testing my limits. Trying to feel something. I even got arrested.”
“How did you come to terms with it?” Because that’s what is at the heart of it. Jason was to stop feeling like this. Like he doesn’t belong in his body.
“By living with it. By testing my limits. Doing a million small things to get comfortable until it feels yours again. It's all you can do. There’s no easy way out of this one.”
“It’s just. I’m so big now. I can snap people’s bones in half. The corners of tables take me out. I don’t fit into things that used to bring me comfort.”
“You find new things. You ground yourself in the things that haven’t changed. Training also helps. Do as many things as you can until it feels like yours.”
“I feel like a monster sometimes.” Jason confesses.
“You’re not. You just grew up.”
“Not naturally.”
“Maybe not.” Slade agrees. “But that doesn’t mean you aren’t the same. Bodies change and fluctuate anyway. It's normal to be different when you were fifteen.” Slade tells him but Jason still feels fifteen sometimes. Slade must see that he is having a hard time accepting that because he softens. “Your body isn’t what makes you who you are. It’s something you’re always going to have to figure out.” Jason knows it is both an assurance and a terrifying truth but..
“Sometimes I just wanna feel like I did before all of this.” Jason whispers. Curling into himself.
Slade engulfs him, crushing him into his chest. Times like this, Jason is reminded of how massive he is. If he wants, he can hide completely in his arms. Feels like being in B’s arms when he was robin. The thought makes Jason ache.
Jason is still in his head when Slade squeezes him tighter than necessary. Honestly it’s a little uncomfortable. Jason tries to move but Slade’s got him trapped. “Still a shrimp to me kiddo.” Slade says, voice dripping with smugness. Jason realizes that he’s messing with him. It’s like when parents hug unruly toddlers to get them to flail. It makes Jason smile. It’s Slade's way of letting him know that he hasn’t outgrown Slade.
…
Training with Slade was brutal more so than this robin days. So it was unrelenting showing Jason all his blind spots, all his weaknesses Jason thinks that his back was on the mat more than his feet were.
“Fuck.”
“Your getting better.”
“I don’t remember you beating my ass this much as Robin.”
“That’s because I was teaching to get a one up on thugs. Now we are going to see what you are really capable of.”
…
It’s their first job together and Jason isn’t nervous. He isn’t. He wants these fuckers to die. It’s just the mission that reminds him of his Robin days.
The anticipation is thrumming through Jason as he watches the outside of the casino. His comm comes to life with Slade’s voice.
“You ready?” Slade asks all business.
“You know it D.”
“Okay. Make your way in. I’m at a table in the back playing Texas hold’em. The seat on my left is yours.”
“Copy.” Jason replies as he sets off.
He makes his way through the casino trying not remember the floor plan Slade gave him. It’s a few minutes before he is able to find Slade among the poker tables. He doesn’t recognize any of the people at the table as targets as he sits. Jason settles down next to Slade try to be as inconspicuous as possible. He surveys the game trying to see how Slade is choosing to play this. Slade looks over at and raises a eyebrow.
“You know how to play?” He asks. Okay so they know each other. Jason shakes his head at which Slade launches into a description of the rules and strategies of the games. “Just watch me for a few rounds. You’ll get the hang of it.” Slade tells him. He’s right, eventually Jason gets the hang of it. After his first win Slade flags down a waiter and asks for a round of shots for the two of them.
“Teaching my boy the ways of life” he tells the table, handing Jason a shot. He downs it and immediately regrets it.
“Oh my god that’s awful. What is that?” Jason asks coughing. Jason has tasted a lot of bad things but the shot had him questioning his life decisions. Slade downs his with a smirk. Completely unfazed.
“Blanton. It’s a whiskey made in Kentucky.” Slade informs with a grin. “Gotta give you a taste of culture for your first shot.”
Later they part for the game and table and make their way to a different part of the casino.
“You know this isn’t the first time I’ve had alcohol, right?” Jason can’t help but ask. Slade gives him a flat look.
“Jace, I’ve been smoking with you since you were thirteen. I know.”
“Right, just making sure.” Jason says eyeing Slade a bit dubiously. There’s something going on. Jason can feel it. “Slade, what are we doing here?” Slade just smirks.
“We are doing everything you are legally able to now that you're eighteen.” He’s says with a clap on Jason’s back. Jason though pauses, he tried a to remember the date. Times still gets a bit foggy for him. Finally it hits him, ‘now that your eighteen’ it’s Jason’s Birthday. He didn’t even know.
“I’m legally dead.” Is all Jason can think to offer in response to that. Slade takes it stride and hands him a card and come cash.
“And you have a fake ID. Stop complaining, start ordering shots and gambling.” Slade encourages nudging him to another part of the casino.
“This isn’t a job is it.” Jason states blankly. Slade gives Jason flat look.
“No but it is a lesson” he tells him
“Yeah and what lesson is this?” Jason can’t possibly figure out what Slade is getting at.
“A lesson on how to fucking relax.” He say with a self satisfied smirk.
“Is that why you ordered those terrible shots?” Jason snarks back finally gaining some composure.
“The shots were pay back for those cigarettes.”
“You’re a terrible influence .”
“No one ever even implied I was a good one. Now get to it. You only turn eighteen once.”
…
“D?”
“Yeah kiddo?”
“Thanks for today”
“It’s not over yet.”
What-“ Slade tossed a box at him
“Happy birthday Jason.” It was a signet ring with a carving of a gargoyle face. “Hold down on the gargoyle and it will send for me. No pay phones or numbers to memorize.”
“Survival only gifts huh?” Jason said just to be an ass but he loved it and knew slade could tell. At his comment Slade picked up something else and threw it at him. It was a brown sturdy leather jack. Jason eyed something very similar last time they were in town. Jason put them both on and went is search of a mirror. He looks like himself. Not the kid that died but him. Eighteen and alive.
…
Eventually Jason leaves. They can’t stay and live in the bubble, life must go on. It was the first time Jason ever had trouble leaving a place.
…
“Is continuing with Talia really the best idea?”
“I want more teachers. There are more things for me to learn that you can’t teacher me.”
“Check in with me.”
“Slade.”
“No you have my number. I expect real check ins or I swear to god. I will find you and drag your ass back here until you learn common sense.”
“Anyone ever tell you, you’re a bit of a helicopter parent?”
“I will beat your ass. I have no qualms about it.”
“Is that really the best way to motivate?”
“Jason you stubborn little shit. Check in. Or else.”
“Okay okay. Geez. I’ll check in.”
…
Jason goes back to the league with a burner phone and the ring. He catches up with Talia, she looks at him a bit different now, he can’t figure out why. He ask her for more teachers instead.
Every time he’s sent somewhere new Jason check in with Slade. Anytime Jason wants advice or needs help to solve a problem he’s run into or misses him.
Jason calls. Slade always picks up.
…
“Jason?”
“Hey D. Do you know how to work a gas stove?”
“Are you trying to make food, drugs or catch a house on fire?”
“Dinner.”
“Yeah kid. I know how a gas stove works.”
“Cool cool. How do I light it? It keeps on clicking.”
“With a lighter. Fuck kid how long have you had the gas going?”
“About ten minutes. Am I going to Sylvia Plath myself?”
“You're well on your way to doing so.”
….
“It was my fault I died. It was dumb to run.
“He made you feel like you had to. That’s not dumb.”
“You told me once how Bruce didn’t get it but people like your dad. Well I do. My old man was a sadistic shit he would wail on me when things didn’t go his way. He dragged me from town to town trying to outrun his debts. It was my life for years. Get to a new town after being run out of the last one. He would run a scam or piss off the wrong person trying to get some quick cash. Rack up a debt. Beat me and scream how I ruined his life and we would hop town. Over and over. Its suffocating, living like that.”
“Bruce doesn’t get that.”
“I remember. I remember you talking about how you fought, how he didn’t listen, how you used to question if you were a terrible person for wanting to be safe. Jason he was also suffocating you. Just in a different way.”
“I still shouldn’t have run. No good came of it.”
“You should have gone alone but you didn’t know it would end badly. You were fifteen Jason. You did what you thought you had to.”
“Would you?”
“I did. I ran away and enlisted at sixteen. I saw no life with my old man. Thought if I didn’t get out, I would have no life at all. Give yourself some grace Jace.”
“I didn’t know any of that.”
“You didn’t have to. Like recognizes like, kid.”
…
“I may have fucked up.”
“What did you do this time kid?”
“Killed my teacher. He was trafficking kids.”
“Anyone on your tail?”
“No. Busted the operation.”
“You hurt?”
“A few cuts and bruises. I don’t know what to do with the body.”
“Burn it. There are a few things you are going to need.”
….
“Training done?”
“Yeah”
“Kill this one?”
“Actually no.”
….
“Hey.”
“Kid.”
“Landed in Tokyo.”
“Good. How much time until you meet with the new tutor?”
“A few days.”
“Good. Go be a tourist for a few days.”
“Any recommendations?”
“The opera.”
“Really?
“Yeah I think you would like it. I’ll send you some money for it.”
…
“I’m kind of in the middle of something.” Slade grunts out. Jason can hear gunfire on the other end. He debates hanging up but after a wave of nausea decides against it.
“How do you know if you were poisoned?”
Motherfucker.” Slade curses and Jason is unsure if it’s directed at Slade’s situation or his. “Find the anti poison first. If you think you were poisoned you probably are. Work fast, don't let your judgment be clouded by panic.
“Okay, yeah I can do that.”
“I better hear from you tomorrow.”
“Will do.”
…
“Still alive!”
“You find the antidote?”
“Funny story.”
“Jason!”
“The pit actually burns through most poisonous! So all good.”
“God give me strength.”
…
Some nights Jason can’t fathom why Slade might care. Slade’s never been known for being particularly paternal. It picks at him.
“Why do you keep on helping me? I screw up everything I touch.”
“You’re young. Comes with the territory.“
“I’m serious. I don’t have much to offer. I’m so much work to be around.”
“Jason. I’m around because I want to be. You may not be my blood but you are one of my own. It was never hard to be around you. You don’t have to give anything to be wanted. Not by me. “
“Slade..”
“You are my kid. Got it. Won me over with that first cigarette.”
…
Jason knows hes going to be in for lecture when he calls Slade. In his defense he didn’t expect Talia to escort jason to his next tutor. He also didn’t expect to be there for months with no contact to the outside world. Jason is sure the only reseason Slade hasn't tracked him down and dragged his ass away is because Jason hasn't used the ring. Jason also knows the cautious bastard has probably been monitoring his vitals through the ring for months. But yeah, moral of the story Slade is probably going to kill him. Might as well get it over with quick.
“Jason it’s been months!”
“So new development.”
“What did you do?”
“I got flaming soul swords?”
“This is a joke right?”
“No.”
“How do you keep ending up in situations like this?”
“It’s my charm?”
“It’s your something alright.”
…
“Not a good time D”
“Yeah I know. I’m watching the news of you in London. It’s why I called.”
“Oh great. Any ideas on how to disable a bomb on the go?”
What kind bomb?
“A smaller one. They are trying pin a terrorist attack on someone.”
“Throw it into the river.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
…
“Hey D, what’s up?”
“I got some news” Slade tells him voice tight. Jason straighten up in his chair.
“Okay shoot.”
“I have a daughter.” Jason short circuits before blurting out the first thing he could think of.
“Damn someone fucked your ugly ass.” Jason winces at himself. Not the most tactful he’s been.
“Thanks for that.” Slade responds dryly but hey at least he doesn’t sound like someone shot his cat. Small wins. Jason decides he’s going to stick with the bit.
“Not my fault you’re reckless and didn’t use protection.” Slade gives him a long suffering sigh. “So, you're going to be a part of the baby’s life?” Jason ask a bit more seriously.
“No. Because there is no baby. I was reckless seventeen years ago.” Slade responds. Jason blows out a breath in shock. And yeah that’s indefinitely more complicated.
“Fuck. What are you going to do?” Jason asks. Slade hesitates for a moment before replying.
“See what she wants. I don’t know, kid, I’ll figure it out.” He says, sounding a bit stressed.
“Do you want me to stay away?” Jason knows first hand how hard it is to adjust to a new family knowing that there is already someone your parent cares about and is probably comparing you to.
“No.” Slade says confidently “This is just a heads up.”
“Welp, congratulations. Now everyone knows you’ve had sex at least three times.”
“You’re a strange kid Jason.” His voice is warm and laced with bewilderment, as much as Slade can be bewildered. If Slade was there he would have his brows furrowed and a slightly incredulous look on his face. He got the same expression whenever Jason talked about decapitation.
“I deserve that” And yeah his jokes didn’t always land. Sue him.
“Call you later, kid.” Slade says. He sounds a bit less tense so Jason must have done something right.
“Bye D.”
…
“Talia.”
“Jason.”
“What can I do for you?”
“You mean other than abandon all the training resources I put into you.”
“What do you mean? I've been training non stop since you sent me to Slade. I’m just not going to try and kill a fucking child.”
“Ah yes Deathstroke. I did find your persistence peculiar, his easy acceptance even more so. Did you know when you were wandering around without a brain you would call for Bruce? It was one of the only things you ever said. At least I thought it was just Bruce. I always found it strange you could say Bruce but could only muster D when you called for your Dad. I thought maybe it was because he wasn’t your father. But now I see it was mistaken. No you didn’t ask for Bruce. You would call for D. So tell me how long have you known Deathstroke?”
….
He went back to Talia because he felt like he owed her a debt. That she would be a good ally. He always believed in some way she was on his side. With how much time and resources she spent on him it was hard to believe she did care for him in her own Talia way. But now after having been with Slade he can see that it’s not true. Jason is just a weapon to her. All her manipulations seem so shallow now that Slade pointed them out. He can’t stay, he doesn’t want to. With that he calls Slade. He answers right away.
“Get me out.”
“On my own way”
…
“I was so stupid. I don’t know why I trusted her.”
“Because you were vulnerable and she made it seem like she saw something in you.”
“She so obviously didn’t actually care about me and I just ignored it.”
“It’s harder to see from the inside. I know what it's like.” That gets Jason to stop. He looks at Slade quizzically. “My ex wife I met in the military. She was my training officer for young soldiers. She saw potential, I loved her. She’s also the same person that took out my eye trying to kill me.” “When you grow up without people caring about you, you think you are supposed to get burned by the fire to feel warmth.”
“I should know better” Jason laments. Slade puts a hand on his shoulder.
“Maybe but it’s not your fault.”
…
“I respect it if you need to be the one to do it. But if you just need him dead just say the word.” Slade tells him. Jason knows Slade would. He would kill Jason’s every demon and monster if he asked but Jason has to do this. Jason knows Slade is worried. Worried that going back to Gotham, and Bruce and everything that comes with them will harm Jason in the long run. But he has to do this. Jason can see a part of Slade understands.
“I’ll call you if I need any help. I promise.” With those parting words Jason returns to Gotham.
….
“How's the return home going?”
“They closed down Sal’s!”
“So.. fine.”
“It was an institution D!”
“Yes I’m sure many people mourned it.”
“Your corn feed self wouldn’t understand.”
….
Slade’s call settled something in Jason. It made it easier to got about life in Gotham. He forms a habit of calling nearly weekly. Sometimes for help, sometimes just to talk.
…
“Hey D do you think you can help me with a weapons operation next week?” Jason asks as soon as the call patches through. He’s got the phone balanced between his ear and shoulder as he cooks dinner. There is a slight pause before a voice answers.
“This is Jason I take it?” A deep British voice replies. Jason almost loses the phone in shock.
“Who the fuck are you?” He growls out. If someone got a hold of slades personal phone he must be in some serious shit.
“My name is William Wintergreen.” He offers. All polite and proper. It reminds Jason of Alfred. Then it clicks into place and he relaxes.
“You’re Slade’s friend.” Jason confirms.
“Yes. And you’re Slade’s Jason.” Wintergreen replies. Jason can’t help the quirk of lips at the identifier.
“That’s me.”
“Certainly explains why he's been much more tolerable. Though I would recommend not explaining your plans until you know who’s answering the phone.”
“He’s not in the habit of leaving it lying around.”
“Touché. I’ll pass the message along.”
…
It’s all over the news.When his phone rings. He lets it ring out. The joker got Robin, they are unsure if he’s still alive. The phone keeps on ringing. Jason is frozen. Finally the phone buzzes. Pick up kid. It’s a text from Slade. He ignores it. I will come and drag your ass out of that city if you don’t answer me. Follows as does another call
“Helicopter parent much.” Jason says in lieu of hello. Slade is not having it.
“Yeah well you could deal with some hovering.”
“I’m fine.”
“If you were fine you would have answered my call the first time.Get out of the city. My job is done tomorrow. I’ll meet you at the New York apartment in two days.”
“I’m not running from him.”
“You’re not but being there isn’t going to help anything. “
“Okay.”
“Okay. I’ll see you in two days. Take care of yourself.”
“Bye D.”
“Bye Jace.”
…
“Sometimes I miss school, you know? Like I think I would have been good at college.”
“You can still go to school, kid.”
“I have some much going on here”
“And you can leave it all behind.”
“No. I like what I’m doing. It’s just, I liked school. I was in theater.”
“I remember.”
“Sometimes I miss it, you know. It was normal. An escape from Robin and Bruce. You know?”
“Yeah. I do. I did fencing in high school.”
“Really?”
“Yes really.”
“That’s where the love of swords came from?”
“I guess it did, yeah.”
“Wow just imagine fifteen year old you, fencing, having no idea that this would lead to the decapitation of many people.”
“Fuck off kid.”
…
Jason launched up in a cold sweat. It took a minute for Jason to remember he was back in Gotham. The city can’t let things stay buried, he muses. The memory of hit after hit lingered but so did the cruel indifference of her smoking in the corner clouding his vision. Jason fumbled for his phone and dials Slade's number. It rings twice before it patches through.
“Jason?”
“She stood there smoking. Watching him beat me.” He blurted out.
“Kid-“
“I told you only the worst people smoke Marlboros.” He cuts Slade off. He does want to talk about it. Not really but needs Slade to know. Slade is quiet for a minute.
“Not everyone has your refined palate.” Slade agrees flatly. Jason feels himself relaxed.
“Ain’t that the truth. I converted you eventually.” Jason says. It’s easy. It brings Jason out of the warehouse and back to nights on the rooftops.
“Yeah, yeah, took advantage of a sad old man you did.”
“What can I say? I was trying to collect all the gargoyles in Gotham.”
“Speaking of gargoyles, my last contract”
…
Jason was going to kill him. Instead he settled for calling Slade with a fury inside him. He told the old man he got shot, and he pulls this shit.
“Where is my stuff?”
“Figure it out.”
“You never outgrew making children’s lives miserable did you?”
“My time of terrorizing teenagers is over.”
“Then why are you terrorizing me?”
“You get special privileges. Now take a goddamn break until you recover properly.”
“Slade!”
“Later shrimp.”
….
“How’s the take over going?”
“Please, like you aren’t keeping tabs”
“I want to hear it from you.”
“It’s been good. I know part of this is all to get back at Bruce but it feels good to be back. To help people in a way that matters to them. “
“Are you going to keep it that way? He won’t let you continue the way you are if you go back to him.”
“Slade.”
“Look I’m not trying to sway you. I’m telling you the truth. You want to punish him to show him his failures. Give him a chance. That’s your choice.But you have to be ready for the possibility he won’t be okay with this. With you.”
“He might be stubborn and bull headed but I know him. I’ll make him see. Show him the facts.”
“I’m just asking you to be careful about this Jace. Don’t throw away who you are for this. Hearing you talk about helping the Alley is the best you have sounded since you came back. “
“I won’t. He isn’t every. I’m working on underground shelters for street kids. It has food and blankets that are constantly replenished. It’s been working. It is what I wish I had.”
“Good. Remember that. Hold on to that.”
….
“You always did have a thing for decapitation.” Is the first thing Slade tells him when he answers the phone.
“I thought we established this.”
“We did,” Slade agrees. “It felt like a nice full circle moment though.” he says, voice much closer. Jason whips around. Slade is landing on the roof next to him
“Shit D. Did you get quieter?”
“Maybe you got less observant”
“I resent that. Your contract end early?”
“The plan has officially started . I’m here to watch your back.”
“Here to save my ass through a sniper scope again?”
“Let’s hope you’ve gotten better since then.”
…
“The Society put a hit out on you. Watch your back”.
“The Society? Why?”
“They are trying to recruit black mask.”
“Really? That fuckhead? Any idea who they are sending?”
“Hyena and Nazi as far as I know.”
“Good to know. I’ll be careful.”
….
“Kid?”
“D?”
“What do you need?”
“Blast mask is causing more trouble than I intended.”
“You need me to run interference?”
“Just for the night.”
“On it. Good luck kid.”
….
Slade was right. He did end up getting his heart broken. He thought no matter what, the joker would die that night. He never expected the batarang. He never expected to be left there while the joker was rushed to safety. With a hand held to his throat he tapped the ring. Calling for Slade to save him. Watching the numbers count all Jason could think was Slade won’t be too late. God don’t let Slade be too late.
…
“D?”
“Jace don't talk. You're going to be okay, kid. I’ll get you out.”
“D, he-” Jason choked. He didn’t know how to explain everything. That Bruce did this. That he was left to die again.
“Shh, I know Jace, I know.”
…
The bandages were still fresh. It hurts to breathe. He was shaking. All of it hit him at once. He squeezes the ring trying to ground himself. Jason couldn’t stop the breakdown if he tried. The tears spilled down his face, he covered his mouth as a sob escaped him. It racked his body. It hurt. Every gasping breath made it feel like his throat was being sliced open again. Every breath he was reminded why it was sliced in the first place, making him cry that much harder.
There were hands on him and Jason flinched back. But instead of moving away they clutched his face stronger.
“Jason. Breathe.” Slade instructed. Jason opened his eyes to find Slade firmly in front of him. Eye trained on his face. “You’re safe. I got you.” He soothed. Jason could help but squeeze his eyes shut and cry harder at that. “Breathe.” Slade repeated. He couldn’t. He was in the coffin, in the pit, in the building with a hand clutching at his neck. Couldn’t breathe because he Bruce did this to him.
“He hurt me.” Jason choked out. It felt like his heart was ripped out of him. Bruce chose the joker. He hurt Jason to do it. Jason shattered.
Slade pulled him into a bone crushing hug at the statement. Jason let go. He sobbed painfully. Terrible hiccuping sobs shook his body. He Clutches Slade like a lifeline. He can’t remember the last time he cried like this. The last time he felt everything this much. Jason thinks the last time he cried in someone’s arms it was his mom. Not like this she couldn’t protect him not really. He never seeked Bruce out when he was crying, to afraid of being rejected. In the end he was anyway.
“He-“
“I know. He’ll never do it again.” Slade soothes. Tucking Jason’s head under his chin.
“Dad.” Jason pleads. For what he doesn’t know. Slade seems to understand. He holds Jason tighter and just repeats the same words.
“I got you. I promise Jason it got you.” Jason believes him.