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“I know how we can piss off my two dads and your two dads in one fell swoop,” Kon said, nearly falling into Tim. It took a lot to get a kryptonian drunk, but Kon was only half kryptonian. It took a second for Tim’s mind to even process what he was saying. Kon had stumbled to almost pressing him against the wall. Their bodies were closer than Tim’s dared to initiate on his own. A blush burns deep red against his cheeks. He hopes it can just be passed off by rosy cheeks from the wine they’ve been downing all evening. The titans party in the tower around them rages but it feels to Tim like they’re the only two in the room.
“Since when do you claim Lex as your dad?” Tim focuses hard not to slur his words. To come across as any level of sloppy, but his ‘s’s do drag a little. At least he thinks they might have. It’s hard to tell with the heartbeat thudding in his ears with how close Kon’s lips are to his own. He’s sure Kon can hear his heart hammering. Damn kryptonian.
“And I told you; Batman is not my dad.” Tim surpasses a little whine with a gulp as Kon leans into his ear, his thigh narrowly avoiding pressing between his own legs.
“Let’s get piercings.” Tim’s so caught off guard. That was not what he was expecting Kon to say. He lets himself fall a little limp to drunkenly stumble out of Kon’s near embrace against the wall, pausing to right himself and stare at him dumbly, the alcohol in his blood coursing through him with every heartbeat.
“Wha? Thas what you meant???” He’s still slurring a little and his legs are a little unsteady. He tucks part of his bangs sticking to his forehead behind an ear and they immediately fall forward again for the millionth time tonight.
“What else did you think I was talking about?” Tim blue screens for a moment, remembering how close their lips had been to touching.
“Hum? Nothing?” Definitely not kissing Kon…
___
It’s been maybe six months since the party and Tim’s raging to the tower after a fight with his dad. Jack, not Batman. Because like he told Kon (now officially his boyfriend of several months), Batman is not his dad. And his actual dad is an absolute ass.
“CONNER,” Tim bellows, maybe a little too loud, storming through the tower with purpose. He finds him sitting in a lounge area with Wally, eating sandwiches, though Kon’s serving is a normal singular sandwich and Wally’s is a plate of like sixteen sandwiches with the grossest combinations of continents, meat and…. Is that fruit??... known to man.
“Let’s do it,” he says, holding up a kryptonite fragment in the shape of a needle. The perfect size needle for a piercing. Kon, the genius, brilliant boyfriend he is, immediately catches on.
“Fuck yeah!” He scrambles from his chair, shoving the rest of his sandwich in his mouth before rounding a corner and rooting around in a cabinet. He pulls out a piercing gun that he must have bought in the hope’s Tim’d eventually cave.
Fast forward to them outfitting the kryptonite needle into the piercing gun. Tim pierces Kon’s nose first. The other side is already pierced and his ears are so studded there isn’t much room left. At least not that Tim can do easily as a never-before-pierced-anybody piercer.
“Don’t you guys know that piercing guns are like, super unsanitary?” Cassie remarks, strolling in with a skeptical raise of her brow.
“I’ve used it for all of my earrings’s holes and never had a problem!” Kon turns to Tim with a wicked grin on his face, having freshly replaced the kryptonite needle with the normal one.
“Gimme!”
“Hold on a sec Kon! Where should we do it? My ear?” Tim had normal lobe piercings a while back but had let them close pretty short after. The backs of the earrings annoyed him when he slept and he always forgot to take his earrings out before bed. Maybe somewhere else would be better. But if he got his belly button pierced, it wouldn’t be visible and the whole reason for this in the first place was to piss off his dad. Would a nose piercing be just as annoying as the ears at night? He was honestly worried about getting it snagged on his sheets or something. Tim doesn’t know if that’s a thing. Is that something that can happen?
“You’re thinking too hard! You wanna piss off Jack, right?” Ah yes his beautiful boyfriend knows him all too well. Tim nods determinedly. Kon puts a bent knuckle to his chin, looking up and around with his piercing gun pointed in the air as if in deep, important ponderance.
“Tongue,” He decides with a solemn nod.
“TONGUE?” Tim croaks. Kon points at him dramatically.
“Fastest route to pissing off Jack.” And just like that, Tim lets himself fall into the role of impulsive teenager for once in his goddamn life. No planning. No forethought. Just go. He nods, sticking his tongue out and leaning forward like putting his neck on a guillotine.
“Justh do ith,” he says with his tongue extended out towards Kon. He closes his eyes tightly and Kon quickly pierces it. Blood spurts everywhere.
“Shith!” Tim lisps around the blood, holding his fingers to the piercing with the new silver little ball filling the hole in his tongue.
“That hurth!”
“Sorry. But if it’s any consolation, you look sick as hell,” Kon soothed, grabbing a box of kleenexes for Tim to use to pad his mouth and soak up some of the blood.
“Thanksth,” Tim says around kleenexes and the blood in his mouth. Kon leans forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“Gross,” Cassie says before leaving.
Kon passes Tim his phone with the front camera on. He admires the glint of silver resting on his tongue, moving it around and feeling the sensation in his mouth. It feels good. Satisfying. And Kon’s right. He looks sick as hell.
“Thankth you!” At that, Kon curtsy’s jestfully. He goes to kiss Tim, but Tim stops him.
“Probably noth righth now. Don’t wanth tho risk an infecthion,” he lisps.
“True, true.” And Kon presses a kiss to his forehead instead.
_____
Less than a week later, Tim finds himself curled up in bed, miserably weak and burning up, riddled with fever. He’s at the manor, not one of his safe houses, and Alfred’s been fussing over him all morning. When he begrudgingly admitted what they’d done and that they’d used a piercing gun and that’s why he got infected, Alfred only responding with a very dry ‘how surprising, Master Tim’, interjected with ‘really? A piercing gun? They can’t be washed properly.’, and ‘did you do no research at all?’. Despite him paying the consequences dearly, Tim can’t help but be amused that the butler isn’t dismayed at the having of a tongue piercing, but just the method he’d gotten it by, which had resulted in a nasty infection. And truthfully, Alfred was right. With Tim’s shitty immune system, he should have known better. Should have better researched piercing and the proper ways to do it. Probably should have gone to a professional. But he’d been angry and wanted it done right then and there. No appointment. No wait list. Could he even legally get a piercing without a parent’s permission at 15? He wasn’t sure. And he wasn’t asking Jack. That was the whole point.
Tim groans, curling up into a tight ball when Alfred enters the room with some more medication, a snack, a drink, and a cooled towel to drape over his forehead. Tim clutches at his covers, cold despite burning up. Alfred feels his forehead with the back of his hand before offering him the drink and medicine and leaving the snack on the bedside table on the tray.
“Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be back in a bit to check on you, Master Tim.
“Thanks Alfred,” Tim croaks, taking the medication and sinking back down to his pillow before flipping it to the cool side (or rather the less warm and sweaty side) and flopping his head back down. Just as he’s finally drifting off again, his phone blares. Tim goes to decline the call without even looking at who it is, but he sees the profile picture light up his screen from the corner of his eye and he hits accept instead, setting his phone to speaker.
“Yeah?” he coughs, annoyance seeping into every crevice of his voice.
“Tim? Are you feeling okay? Alfred said you were sick when I didn’t hear from you and called the manor.
“I’m never listening to you again!”
“What?”
“I got a dumb infection from that piercing gun!”
“It’s not my fault that you only have weak human genes, Timmy! Tim grumbles unintelligibly at that.
“Want me to come over and cuddle it better?”
“Will you use your frost breath to freeze my stupid fever off?”
“Aye Aye captain,” Kon agrees before hanging up, presumably to fly over and do just that. It’s good to have a boyfriend that doubles as a cooling pack, Tim thinks amusedly to himself before drifting off again waiting for Kon to come.