Archive of Our Own

Light footsteps can be heard running down the Sumire Street road towards a certain diner near the end of it. The small layer of snow muffles their steps as they finally stop a few steps away from the door. A beautiful blonde takes the time to adjust her clothes and fix her hair, not wanting to let the person inside know how much in a hurry to come she was.

Taking a few deep breaths, she's about to go in when she hears voices drifting from the inside.

"Yah! Sōma!"

"Hmm?"

Erina recognizes the careless tone of one Yukihira Sōma, her crush of a long date even if she'd deny it to the grave if put on the spot. The man forced his way into her heart before she could even realize it, after taking it to new heights of the culinary experience.

Few had the power to make her keel at the mere smell of their dishes, and even fewer could bring her to heaven through the taste, her divine tongue was just that hard to satisfy. Somehow, he managed to do both and more.

Not that she'd admit it.

She was still in a deadlock with him, refusing to say his food was good even if it went well beyond that. Maybe it wouldn't have been this hard had their first meeting been less unpleasant for her. She still remembers this arrogant boy, so easily telling her off and daring to produce dishes she couldn't even dream about. In her own cuisine kingdom.

The absolute audacity.

That was when it started, their game or so, where he continuously challenged her, presenting dishes for her to taste in the hope she would admit it was good. It hasn't happened yet, and probably never will if she's being honest. She's way too prideful and stubborn to do it, especially after all these years.

Tonight, he's called her out again to try a new recipe of his. And she's come running, of course. …she tries not to think about the pathetic side of it all.

Her attention is caught once again by the conversation between the two men.

"Haven't you ever thought about settling down?"

"Huh?"

Kazusato sighs as he hears his grandson's answer.

"You fought your dad so hard to take over Yukihira but you're never there. It'd be covered in dust if I didn't come once in a while to dust it all up."

"What are you talking about, I stop by once in a while."

"…once every three to six months, yes. And only to get Erina-chan to taste a new recipe before you're gone again."

"Well, I haven't succeeded in making her admit my food is good yet so I need to explore new places for inspiration."

Erina can just hear the stupid grin on his face. She must admit she had been looking forward to seeing it, to seeing him. He really ought to come home more often.

"Incorrigible." Kazusato laughs, soon joined by his grandson. "You've called her out tonight again haven't you?"

Erina doesn't hear an answer besides the sound of something frying in a pan.

"And what are you planning to do after?"

"…after what?"

"After she admits it!" Kazusato sighs, "Are you finally going to get together?"

"Eh?"

"Why do you look so surprised? You've been creating recipe after recipe just for her, it's time you did something about it, no?"

"…"

"Yah! Isn't Erina-chan your special someone? You shouldn't waste time like that, I want to see my great-grandchildren before I die."

"…I've never thought about it that way. Besides, you'll live for a long long time since you eat so much Yukihira food!"

"Yah!"

The two of them start laughing but Erina can't hear them anymore. Her hand is frozen in the air, halfway to the opening of the wooden door, and unable to move one more inch.

She feels like an idiot.

Somehow, she was always convinced that even if he only talked about recipes when they met, he actually felt something more for her, like she did for him. He was her special someone after all, even if she never told him. And somehow, she had come to believe that she was his too.

She thought he was just too stubborn to do something about it for now but that it would come eventually, that he would properly confess and ask her out, maybe even propose after making her taste a new dish.

But obviously, she's been thinking too much. Maybe she's read too many shōjos.

It's true what they say, the higher you go, the harder the fall. Erina is rapidly descending from the cloud she was on, and as her body passes through the atmosphere, she feels the burn it inflicts.

Her vision blurs as her hand falls back to her side. Maybe she should go back. She wouldn't know how to act if she were to see him right now.

Inside, Sōma looks at the door, unaware of the woman slowly walking away from it.

She's late.

She would already be there by now, especially since she had sounded like she was almost done with her previous tasks.

He frowns a little before refocusing on the stove.

Special someone, huh? He had begun to think about it years ago. Nakiri Erina was the one he wanted to give all his best food to, possibly forever. Did that mean he should settle down? He had never thought this far but maybe he indeed ought to. Would she even want to? Settle down with him? He doesn't even know how he'd bring up the subject.

Oh well. He can think about that later. For now, he has a dish to prepare for the princess.

SnS

That night, Erina doesn't know how she manages to get home.

She probably calls someone to get her but she just can't remember doing it. The first thing she notices after overhearing them is that she is trembling under her covers. Next, she realizes her eyes are moist and upon rubbing them gently, she realizes her cheeks are wet and that she is crying.

That's when it all hit her.

She had spent years, literal years waiting for him, spent almost a decade nurturing feelings in secret and letting them grow without restraint because she thought it was okay to do so, that they were welcome and reciprocated, that she wasn't alone in this. Now… Now, she just doesn't know anymore.

Did she dream all of this? Was him feeling more for her only in her head? Why did he even call her out so often then? Did he really only have business with her tongue?

Once, when he first met her older brother and they'd been arguing about her, he had claimed that she was his.

At first, it had all been too much and she had fainted from the information overload, but later, he had only come to her for recipes. Much like he's been doing all these years actually… It had confused her to no end but she had her brother's advances to deal with already and hadn't put much thought into it. At the time, she didn't even know they were related or she would have had an easier time fending him off.

But now, she can't help but wonder about the reason for Sōma's actions. Maybe he really only had business with her as the divine tongue and not her as a whole person. They barely talked about anything else besides recipes after all. Before, she thought it was just because they were both chefs but now… Maybe she has been thinking too much. Maybe there's nothing else to see beyond the things he has shown her.

If he only showed interest in her tongue, maybe that's really all there is to it.

Silence drapes over her, filling every corner of her suddenly too-big room until Erina abruptly sits down.

She can't keep going in circles in her mind. Maybe she is overthinking this too. She didn't talk to him directly so there's no saying what goes on in his head at all. There's only one thing to do to make it clear: confront him. But this time, she will do it on her turf. She has always been the one coming to him, almost at his beck and call but that's over now. If she wants to see where he's at, she has to see how far he's willing to go to get to her. When her brother was chasing her all these years ago, he was the one coming after her, not the other way around. She has to know if Sōma would be willing to do the same.

And for that, she needs a change.

SnS

Sōma is seriously getting worried.

Erina didn't show up last night, nor did she contact him in any way to say that she wouldn't come.

Worse, she hasn't been answering his calls.

Sōma has tried multiple times with various degrees of time between each until it landed directly towards the voicemail. Hisako said she hadn't heard from her after Erina announced she was dropping by Sumire Street Market, and Alice and Ryō said they hadn't seen her at all that day since they were at the Nakiri International Japanese headquarters.

It was only when he tried to call Asahi that he had some information on Erina's whereabouts. It had taken half an hour for Asahi to confirm it but he had called back to inform him that Erina had indeed come home last night, as per the guards' say, but had yet to show herself today. None of the servants had seen her so far but she hadn't called for any either. Still, they said she hadn't seemed sick or hurt in any way when they had seen her come home the night before. So they had let her be.

That had taken a load off Sōma's shoulders but he was still wondering if something else happened for her not to show. In all these years, she had always come to the restaurant when she said she would, taking the time to do so when he called her. So this was a first. And he wasn't sure what to do.

SnS

Later that day, Sōma tries to call Erina again. He is taking a break from the restaurant near the back door, playing with some squid legs as he did, munching on one as he's wont to.

Surprisingly, the call does get through this time.

"Hello?"

"Nakiri?"

"…" Erina takes a breath, not having checked the caller before answering the call. She stretches her back against her office chair, turning around to face the windows and the snow-covered scenery instead of the pile of papers she still has to go through. She hadn't expected to hear his voice but really, maybe she should have, given the 10 missed calls she had from him between last night and now. Still, she's not ready to hear him yet. Maybe she wouldn't have been either way. "Yukihira-kun."

"…" Somehow, her voice sounds colder than it has been for a long time when addressing him.

"Did something happen?"

"Eh?"

"You didn't come last night and I couldn't reach you."

"Ah." Erina thinks back about the exact reason why she didn't see him last night and she falters. A second later, she remembers her new plan and steels herself once again. "Something came up."

Sōma waits for a while but Erina doesn't elaborate any further. No sorrys, and certainly no explanation.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Erina spins back towards her desk and picks her pen up from where she has let it roll against the paper pile. "If that's all, I'll get back to work. I have a lot of things to do."

"Wait!" Sōma stops her from hanging up, surprised by the urgency in his own voice.

"…what is it?"

"Do you have some time to drop by today?" Erina grinds her teeth.

"I'm afraid not."

"Oh. Okay." Undeterred by her answer, Sōma tries again. "Let me know when you have some time this week?"

"…" Erina's will wavers a bit at the hint of hopefulness in his voice but she stands firm. "Yeah. Have a good day."

And with that, the line goes dead.

Sōma stares at his phone for a while, not understanding why this phone call leaves a bitter aftertaste behind. It feels like he's missing something important and he doesn't know what it is. He doesn't like it.

Still, she agreed to let him know when she'd have time so he'll just have to wait for her to do that. He'd see her soon.

At least that's what he thought until the whole week passed without a single contact from Nakiri Erina.

"She's not coming today either?"

Sōma looks up at his grandpa, slowly sipping on his beer at the counter as he watches his grandson cook away. Kazusato has been dropping by almost every day this week, claiming that he might as well make the most of it since his grandson might just be going away again very soon. Sōma does often leave after another failure to get Erina to say his food is delicious, looking for inspiration in new experiences. However this time seems to be different.

Looking back at his wok, Sōma nods.

"Looks like it."

"Hmm. That's not like her." Kazusato comments quietly as he lightly spins his glass. "Did she get tired of accommodating him after all?"

He didn't mean for his grandson to hear it, but Sōma does.

"Huh? Accommodating me?" he asks, putting his wok aside for a second.

Kazusato blinks twice, not having expected this question as he looks at the redhead.

"I mean, you come by whenever you feel like it, coming and going as you wish, but she still comes to you whenever you're here. She said it was no bother last time, but maybe she has grown tired of accommodating you after all."

Sōma stays silent as he ponders this new piece of information. Did she? Did she grow tired of him?

"Sōma-chan! Is it ready yet? I can't wait to taste your food again!"

A regular interrupts his train of thought and Sōma immediately gets back to work.

"One second!"

SnS

At his next break, Sōma goes out the back door, leaning against the wall with his phone in hand. He's got it open on one contact, Nakiri Erina. He never thought he'd be one day hesitating to press call but here he is.

Still, he's no coward.

He presses the call button and brings the phone to his ear. It rings for a while and he's starting to think she won't pick up when the line goes through.

"Hello?"

"Nakiri? You're busy?" Sōma hears some rustling on the other side before he hears Erina's voice again.

"I can talk. What is it?" There's some scribbling coming from her side but still, she accepted the call so Sōma supposes it's okay.

"I haven't heard from you this week. I guess you didn't have the time to come after all?"

Only silence can be heard for a while before Erina speaks up again.

"Yeah."

Again, no explanation, no trying to even add anything else. She doesn't owe him anything, but somewhere along the line, he's come to expect some things from her. It's been a while since he has not known what to answer with, it's been a while since he felt awkwardness while talking with her. He realizes its presence once again after long years of easy conversation. Somehow, he feels like he did something wrong but he doesn't know what.

"I see. Do you think you'll have some next week?"

"…" Sōma doesn't even realize he's holding his breath until he softly releases it all with her next words. "I don't know." she softly says.

"I see."

Sōma's voice is softer as well, as if speaking any louder would break the delicate balance they have at the moment. Erina has never heard him sound like this and it doesn't sit well with her, especially when she knows she's the one responsible for it. Still, she soon remembers the reason behind her actions and steels herself.

"Let me know?"

A simple question really, but in those few words, Erina hears the lack of confidence. They sound emptier than last time… not that she can blame him. She has not contacted him once since the last time he asked after all. Even now, he's the one who called her. Still, it means things are changing, yeah? Maybe her plan will bear fruit soon.

"Yeah."

And with that soft word, she hangs up.

Sōma is left to stare blankly at his phone, wondering if she indeed had enough of him. Before, she always made time to come see him. Maybe she just doesn't want to anymore.

Or maybe she's just been really busy this week. Perhaps she'd have the time next week.

SnS

Sōma finishes his dish, putting it in a to-go package securely before placing it in a heat-retaining container. He's closed his diner for the day so he uses the back door to get to his motorcycle, and carefully places the package into the case, and hops on it.

A week has passed since his phone call with Erina and he has yet to hear anything from her. Again. Maybe he should have seen it coming really, given the sound of her voice over the phone…

This time, instead of calling her, Sōma decided to call Arato instead. She has remained as Erina's secretary so she knows her schedule. If she couldn't come to him, then he would go to her instead. She still had to eat at some point anyway. He doesn't know why it took him so long to think about it.

As he takes the familiar road that will lead him to the Tōtsuki tea ceremony and cooking institute, he reminisces about the past. It's been so long since he went there. Maybe he'd drop by the Polar Star dormitory to see Fumio-san too. She'll probably be happy to see him.

His trip is a surprise for everyone except Arato, so it's no surprise when he's briefly stopped by the guards on his way to the dean's office. They quickly recognize him from the photo they received from Hisako earlier and let him go, even giving him an indication as to where to park his bike. As he dismounts and takes out the container from the case, Sōma is careful not to move too much and ruin his presentation.

Once he's sure everything's fine, he turns away and towards the traditional building housing the dean's office. He had almost forgotten how big everything was here in Tōtsuki. Even after all those years, Sōma is slightly surprised by the scale of everything. Still, he's here on a mission so he'll take the time to admire the buildings later on.

Sōma starts his way to the dean's office, where Erina is currently supposed to be, and starts to wonder how she will greet him. She hadn't sounded all that happy on the phone the previous weeks, but he couldn't see her face. Maybe the situation isn't as bad as it sounded.

He had created a new recipe especially for her and he could only wait so long before seeing her reaction to his food. Her tongue might not be honest but her body is and, to be fair, he loves to see how she is still affected by his cooking even after all these years. He couldn't wait to see how she would react to this one.

Expertly balancing the container with one hand, Sōma grins in anticipation and knocks on the door.

Inside, Erina glances up from the paper she was reading over. She doesn't have any appointment planned at this time, nor was she expecting anybody. It's probably just Hisako coming back from her errand.

"Come in," she says, letting her eyes fall back onto her paper without further ado- only for them to snap back up for a double take as a familiar shade of red appears in her eye field.

"Yo, Nakiri." Sōma greets with a grin and Erina can only stare. She doesn't know how she looks right now but the surprise must be clearly painted on her face because he continues with, "Didn't expect to see me here?" before scratching at his neck, "You're always coming over usually. But you seem pretty busy these days so I came to you this time."

Sōma's grin falters at the end of his sentence. He had glimpsed a glint of happiness into her eyes slowly growing before it completely snuffed out with his last words, leaving something more guarded and reserved in its stead. Sōma gets the feeling he said something wrong, even if he doesn't know what.

"…I see." Erina straightens into her chair as she examines him.

Sōma actually goes blank over her reaction as he studies her as well. Sōma can't remember a time when she had had so little reaction to his presence in close proximity and he doesn't know what to think about it. It feels…wrong.

Still, Sōma doesn't let it get to him and walks more inside until he reaches the cushions and the low table on the left side of the room, opposite the large windows. Bending forward, he places the container on top of the table and straightens.

Upon meeting the inquisitive eyes of the woman, he simply declares "I brought you lunch." with a big grin on his face.

Erina's eyes widen slightly before they go back to their normal state. Checking her wrist, she notices that it's indeed almost lunchtime. She hadn't heard about the lunch arrangements from Hisako today but it seems there was a reason for that, namely the red-haired chef currently standing in front of her. She doesn't know whether to thank her or not. She didn't think she'd be able to implement the next step of her plan so fast but it seems the day has come.

"Okay. I'll take my break in a few minutes, I need to finish this first." Erina says, accepting his implicit request before getting back to her paper. She couldn't just drop everything for him after all. No matter how much her body was pressing her to do just that.

Sōma watches as she goes through her paper for a while before deciding to sit too. He takes a seat on one of the cushions around the table and Erina's earlier expressions come back to his mind. She seems distant for some reason. She has been ever since that night when she didn't come actually.

Did something happen that day?

He didn't understand the sudden change and if he was being honest, he wasn't sure what to do about it. Before, she had always seemed happy to see him, even if she never said it. Now, she seemed guarded and Sōma wasn't sure he liked the change. Maybe her tasting his new recipe would bring back some of the Erina he knows.

SnS

It doesn't.

Five minutes after Sōma sits down, Erina joins him and sits on the opposite cushion around the table. Sōma grins at her as he carefully starts to unpack his dish.

"This time, I revisited my eggs Benedict rice bowl with new flavors and new techniques I learned while going around." he explains as he reveals the rice bowl he's carefully transported all the way from his diner, "I put it in a heat retaining package so it should still be hot even if it might've lost a few degrees."

Erina nods, as she takes the chopsticks he presents her with, carefully examining his dish. From the looks of it, it seems like he has further improved the recipe he had presented her at the Blue competition nine years ago. From experience, she knows it will taste nothing like what she had from him last time.

"Dig in." Sōma smiles as he says his catchphrase and Erina feels warm.

This phrase has been a significant part of their history together, just as eggs have been, and it takes her back to the first time she met him as he presented her his transforming furikake rice. That was the first time she had tasted such a novel approach to cooking since Saiba-sama but she had refused to acknowledge it as delicious or good.

They had come a long way since then but she had never used those words to describe his dishes and he had been trying to get her to with each new recipe. Now she wonders if not admitting it was a way to keep him bound to her. She had come to know of his pride and competitiveness, and maybe she had unconsciously kept him by her side this way.

Today was the day it ended. Today was the day she gave him back his freedom and let him choose whether to stay or not. Today…

Today was the day she would know if he wanted her beyond her acknowledgment of his dish.

As she takes her first bite, she's taken to a land of freedom as small angels come to tickle her all over. She often tried to resist them before but she finds herself allowing it all to wash over her for the first time. Or at least, until they start tickling places they really shouldn't. She's unable to fend them off, persistent as they are, and ends up shuddering with all the sensory onslaught.

When Erina comes back to herself, Sōma is grinning at her, obviously very satisfied with her reaction and she frowns at him in mild annoyance before she can stop herself, pouting as she looks away from him.

"Stop looking at me like that, stupid," Erina mumbles under her breath, missing the soft look that replaces the obvious satisfaction in Sōma's golden eyes. There she is, the Erina I know. Sōma is relieved to see her fall back into their very own dynamic. Maybe whatever was preventing her from coming doesn't have to do with her getting tired of him after all.

Sōma watches as she finishes her bowl, satisfied with his trip to Tōtsuki academy grounds, and starts thinking about the next dish he's going to present her. Coming up with new egg dishes each time has been really fun and he intends to keep doing it until she finally admits his food is good which, knowing her, will probably never come.

Somehow, he finds that he doesn't mind as much as he first did.

Cooking for her, coming up with new recipes each time and watching her react to them as she eats is something he doesn't mind doing for a very long time.

"It's good."

Sōma's thoughts come to an abrupt halt at Erina's soft words.

"Huh?"

Erina turns to face him properly again, looking directly into his slightly widened eyes as she repeats, "I said it's good."

"…" Sōma blankly stares at her before blinking, throwing a glance around the room to see if he had missed something while he was thinking but there's nothing there. Erina is still sitting in front of him, the empty bowl in front of her and the chopsticks neatly placed on it. No paper or phone or anything else next to her. "…what is?"

"Your dish. What else would I be talking about?" Erina answers matter-of-factly as if the answer should have been obvious and, if it was anyone else, it would have been to him.

"…are you okay?" Sōma's truly concerned voice throws Erina off.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"…you just said my dish was good," Sōma recalls as if this in itself is self-explanatory.

"It was."

"…" Sōma stares at her as if she's grown another head and Erina frowns.

"Wasn't acknowledgment from me, the divine tongue, what you've sought all this time?" Erina asks and it's Sōma's turn to be thrown off.

"Well, yes but-"

"Well, you have it. I don't know what's so hard to believe. I just said it was good because it was." Erina says with a sense of finality, ignoring Sōma's incredulous look as she stands up. "I have to go to the bathroom. Thank you for coming," she says as she exits with a small glance at him over her shoulder.

Sōma is still staring at her with a bewildered expression, as if unable to comprehend what just happened.

She doesn't blame him, really.

It would've been inconceivable for her to do that a few weeks ago but, things change- or rather they need to.

Now, the ball is in his court.

With that last thought, Erina looks away, opening the door and swiftly exiting the room.

When she comes back fifteen minutes later, there's no trace of him anywhere in the room, except for the slightly askew cushion he was sitting on and the few drops of water where he had placed the container he had come with.

He's gone, and she doesn't know what to think about it.

SnS

When Sōma visits Erina again the week after, she's still in the middle of working.

If she's being honest, she didn't expect him to come back here. She hoped for it but didn't dare to believe it in fear of being disappointed once again. So when he arrives, unannounced like last time, she's pleasantly surprised.

"Yukihira-kun?" Erina's voice is light and Sōma grins in response.

"Yo, Nakiri." he salutes with one hand as he enters the room and sets his take-out container on the table. "I've brought you lunch," he says with a grin but, if he was being honest, he was still shaken by last week's events, unable to believe that it had happened so he had been working on a new dish to present her and hopefully get her back to normal. Whatever their normal was…

Erina's eyes turn considering as they take him in. "And to what do I owe the honor?"

Sōma's grin freezes for a second before he relaxes. "I've been revisiting a dish from the old times and I wanted you to taste it."

Erina's eyes steel at his words.

He had said taste, not eat.

Did he come for her tongue after all?

"I see. I'll be done in a few minutes." she announces as she looks back down at the paper in her hand, "You can sit there in the meantime."

Sōma feels like he messed up again and he doesn't even know why.

The air seems to have turned colder in those last few seconds and he doesn't know what to do to warm it again. It never used to be like this between them. Sure, she was often irritated and frowning at him but never cold in spite of it all.

He doesn't know what to do with that.

Faithful to her words, Erina joins him a few minutes later after organizing her workload.

"So? What have you brought this time?" Erina asks, looking at him expectantly and Sōma grins.

Unveiling his dish, he reveals a shiny revisited furihake rice, the bare smell of the chicken aspic takes Erina down memory lane. She remembers the first time she had discovered this possibility when they first met. And then, when she had offered her own version of it at their team shokugeki. This man really was a sore loser.

Sōma doesn't miss the smile now adorning the heiress's face and he's happy of his choice to revisit this particular dish. He was right, this was exactly what they needed right now to get back on track.

Erina takes the chopsticks he provides and calmly takes her first bite. Her eyes widen in surprise as she feels the harder-than-expected feeling under her teeth. Chicken?

"You actually stuffed your scrambled eggs with chicken? How did you even..?"

Sōma smiles in delight at Erina's astonished expression.

"Well, I inspired myself from my mom's fried rice recipe." he explains with a grin, "I cut the chicken in very small pieces and coated them each in the eggs with a wok." he finishes as if this was a simple operation, but the level of skill required is no joke.

It seems like he has grown again since the last time- or rather, during the past months. Erina seeing him twice in under two weeks doesn't happen often. The thought dampens her mood and she remembers exactly why that is…and why she needs it to change.

She takes a few more bites, savoring the taste as she's taken to a cloudy land. The fluffiness of the eggs feels like clouds under her palate and the chicken taste comes as if to tickle her all over with delicate wings. Why does it always feel like angels tickling her when it comes to him and eggs?

When she comes to again, she has entirely finished her plate.

Erina feels her face burning a bit as she realized she let herself be absorbed into one of his dishes once again. Maybe she wouldn't have minded under other circumstances but now, when everything felt so uncertain she just…didn't know what to think of it. She didn't even know if she really should allow herself to enjoy it that much. Especially when she knew what he meant to her…but didn't know what she meant to him.

Elegantly placing her chopsticks down, Erina straightens up and clears her throat, closing her eyes.

"It's good." she simply says, acknowledging his dish once again and missing the way Sōma's face falls, "Your customers will be enjoying this one too." she finishes, opening her eyes to glance at him and freezes.

Yukihira doesn't look the least bit happy at this turn of events. Actually, he seems to be highly troubled by her words. Erina should be happy to know that the situation is affecting him in any way actually but for some reason, she's not. She feels like she betrayed him or something, even if she meant every word.

"…what's wrong?"

Unexpectedly, these words didn't come out of Erina's mouth but Sōma's. Erina didn't actually expect him to ask so frontally but really, he's always been this way.

"Nothing."

Sōma frowns.

"What do you mean, nothing? You've just acknowledged my dish as good."

It's Erina's turn to frown.

"So? It's good so I just said it was. What is the problem?"

"The problem is I've been trying to get you to say this for ten years and you've never even done it once."

Erina looks away because, well, there's no way to deny this.

"And? You've finally succeeded. Shouldn't you be happy instead of frowning at me?"

And again, Sōma can't really counter her words. He should be. He really should be happy. But he's not. He's just- not.

"Why are you suddenly acknowledging my dish? What happened?"

Sōma is concerned, sincerely trying to figure out what happened but Erina doesn't really know how to even come out with her overhearing him.

"…it's nothing-"

Sōma's hands smack on the table as he leans forward, effectively cutting her off.

"Don't lie to me. How can it be nothing? You stood me up, refused to return my calls, and never contacted me back and it's supposed to be for absolutely no reason?" he says, his voice rising with his growing frustration.

"There was a reason," Erina says, her frown deepening at his words, " I was busy."

Sōma scoffs. "That never stopped you before. You were busy, but you always made time before," he states, crossing his arms, and Erina, Erina just snaps.

"Well, forgive me for reviewing my priorities." she half-yells at him, shooting up from her seat, "Why should I keep making you a priority when all I ever am to you is an afterthought?!"

That makes Sōma's mouth snap shut.

"…what?"

"Oh please, you just call me up whenever you please and I'm just supposed to be available for you whenever, coming to your diner to taste whatever new recipe you came up with?! Why am I to be at your beck and call?!"

Sōma stares at her, unable to comprehend this development. What is happening?

Erina sees his confused stare and her blood begins to boil. "Don't look at me as if I'm spouting nonsense! Do you even realize that the only times you ever call is when you have new recipes for me to taste?! Is that the only time I ever cross your mind?!"

That seems to shake Sōma out of his stupor, at least for a bit. "That's not- why are you- that's not true. I'm always thinking about you," he admits truthfully.

Erina snorts. Loudly.

It's so uncharacteristic of her that Sōma's mouth snaps shut once more as he stares at her in shock.

"Is that so? You only come by for your dishes. Each time, you just leave right after and I neither see nor hear from you for months before you call again for a new dish. Do you even realize you never even came back here to see me in all those years? And I'm pretty sure you only did because I wouldn't come downtown to taste your dish. That's all we ever talk about." Erina levels him with a look that pierces through his soul, denying any excuses or attempts to cover the reality. "Be honest with yourself, did you ever think about me beyond my tongue?"

Sōma opens his mouth, only to slowly let it close again. Why is the first thing that comes to mind is him trying to master new techniques to present her with even better dishes and revel in her reactions? His trips had been full of her but it was mostly with this thought pattern as he was always cooking or looking for unusual ingredients that he could use in his dishes while abroad. Did it only count as thinking of her tongue? Still, in his quieter moments, he also wondered how she was doing, whether she was smiling or frowning as she performed her duties, if she allowed herself to just be the young adult that she is sometimes.

He's about to say as much when Erina's soft words make his head snap back up from where he had lowered it as he thought, and he discovers Erina's crestfallen face.

"…what was I even expecting..?"

Their eyes only meet for a second before she turns away from him but he sees the look in them and he knows she has taken his prolonged silence for the worst answer she could've come up with. Wanting to make things right, he stands too and tries to close the space between them and with it, the schism that has appeared between his thoughts and what his actions appeared like.

Sensing him move, Erina looks back towards him and rapidly steps back as she sees him approaching, sending papers flying as she hits her desk with her back. Sōma stops dead in his tracks as he sees the agitated look in her eyes.

Silence wraps over them as Sōma looks at Erina in shock.

Realizing what she just did, Erina turns away, unwilling to show any more vulnerabilities to him. She always longed to be in his presence before, especially after long months of silence, but right now- right now, she doesn't even want to see him anymore.

Not a sound can be heard in the room and if she couldn't hear his soft breathing, she would think that he had left already. He wasn't the type to stay quiet for so long after all.

Erina is almost grateful for the break. She really needs some tranquility to put some order into her thoughts and emotions but honestly, she doesn't even know where to begin.

How is she supposed to untangle ten years of feelings and just put them all away?

She always thought that they were heading towards something more, towards something they would grow together, but it seems it was just in her head. Yukihira hadn't even thought about anything but her tongue and having her taste new recipes.

Something falls down her stomach, lying heavily into her gut as the thought settles down. She hadn't wanted to believe what she had heard but, he really hadn't thought about her beyond her tongue. Erina's eyes start to burn and she blinks rapidly to chase away the moisture trying to cloud her vision.

Suddenly, the silence feels like too much.

Turning around, she looks up at Yukihira only to realize his eyes are directed straight to the ground near her feet. He doesn't even seem to realize she has turned towards him, if his lack of reaction is anything to go by. Just why is he so fixated on her floor all of a sudden? Intrigued, Erina looks down too.

What she discovers on the ground has her eyes doubling in size and her face heating up in embarrassment.

There, lying innocently at her feet are omiai proposals, the faces of good-looking gentlemen her age staring back up at her from the corner pictures added to them.

Erina immediately drops down to her knees, assembling the fallen papers into a pile that she puts away on the corner table with a lot more force than necessary, far away from her desk. She doesn't know how they even got in there as she clearly remembers telling Hisako to put them somewhere she would never see them, preferably inside a burning fire. She told her she didn't need them, thinking that she already had her future planned out with the redhead, even if they had yet to formally discuss anything.

The burst of energy she just had extinguishes just as fast as she realizes how wrong she was.

She might have to study them soon since the redhead wasn't even considering that kind of future with her…what had she been thinking, really? That one day he'd realize he couldn't live without her and drop everything to be with her and build their home? It seems stupid now, especially considering that he'd never even bothered to tell her he was leaving, much less actually discuss his traveling plans with her beforehand. Just what had made her think he wanted more with her?

"You're-" Erina flinches at the sound of Sōma's voice breaking the silence but he barely notices, his eyes still fixed on the pile of omiai proposals- "You're having an arranged marriage..?"

Sōma's voice is so soft, and his question is so unexpected that Erina just stares at him. As his question gradually sinks in, she frowns.

"What is it to you?"

Erina flinches as the words come out harsher than she intended them to, but she stands her ground. If he's not intending to settle down with her, then it really isn't any of his business how she does end up settling down with someone else.

Sōma flinches too, not having expected the bite in her words, and his eyes fly to her. Taking her fiery eyes and disposition in, he feels like he said something wrong again and tries to explain.

"It's just- I never thought you would-"

"Well," Erina interjects, effectively cutting him off, "not everyone is like you with no thought of settling down and there actually are people more than willing to build a relationship with me."

Sōma winces, her sharp words scathing against the tender flesh of his heart. Her words seem specifically directed at him and they hurt him more than he thought they would. It's true that he hadn't really thought about settling down just yet but he did consider her as someone special to him and he didn't think she'd just- just-

Wait.

He never said a word about not wanting to settle down to her, they never talked about it at all so-

Sōma's eyes widen in realization.

"Haven't you ever thought about settling down?"

He hadn't talked about settling down with her. But he had talked about it over three weeks ago, with his grandpa. The same night Nakiri stood him up. The same night that preceded all those changes.

"You were there?"

Erina frowns in obvious confusion, opening her mouth to ask him what the hell he is talking about now before it snaps shut as what she just said dawns on her, and her eyes widen. She has basically admitted to having overheard him talking with his grandfather. She could try to deny it but she had uttered the words with way too much certainty for it to be believable.

Crap. She hadn't intended to reveal it like that.

Erina doesn't verbally answer but her silence and body language do it for her.

She was there that night. And she heard his grandpa ask about settling down and such. As Sōma remembers exactly what they had been saying after that, a bolt of realization strikes him.

She heard him. She heard him say that, say that he hadn't thought about it like that, and she probably- oh. That explains why she's been acting like that recently. She thought-

"I didn't-"

"Save it." Erina cuts in, "It's my fault for thinking- I get it." She doesn't need to hear him say it again, say that she wasn't special to him like he was to her.

"But I didn't-"

"It's enough. I heard enough." It was hard enough to hear the first time around. Erina just wants to be left alone and stitch her broken heart in peace. "Just leave," she asks feebly, her voice akin to a whisper that would be blown away with the softest breeze.

Sōma doesn't move, unwilling to leave with such a misunderstanding between them. He goes to take a step towards her but freezes with her next word.

"Please.."

Sōma's eyes widen in disbelief. She had never pleaded with him for anything before. Never.

A beat of silence passes before he retreats. He would find another moment to talk with her calmly. It doesn't seem like she can listen to anything he has to say right now. For now, he should leave her alone, like she asked him to.

SnS

"Yukihira?"

Sōma looks up from the patch of grass he had settled on to discover Hayama staring at him from a few feet away. After leaving Erina's office, he had been wandering through the academy and found himself sitting not too far from the entrance, like he had all those years ago after she had failed him. Except this time it was because she had finally acknowledged him. And then took him on a roller coaster of emotions he hadn't seen coming.

"Hayama. It's been a while. How have you been?"

Akira scoffs as he shakes his head, muttering under his breath "A while he says..." It's still a wonder how he managed to graduate with them despite his long absences.

"Hmm?"

"Well," Akira looks up and glares, "if you weren't wandering all over the world all the time then maybe we could've seen each other at the alumni's get-togethers."

Sōma tilts his head to the side as he stares at him questioningly. "We had those?"

Akira almost falls over, barely avoiding an unpleasant meeting with the ground at his words.

"Do you ever check your mail? Wait, don't answer that." Akira sighs, covering his eyes with one hand as a flash of the mountain of paperwork Yukihira had left for them while he wandered the world comes to mind.

"Sorry, sorry." Sōma grins at him, completely unrepentant. "I might have missed some while going around."

Akira almost wants him to define 'some' but he doesn't think he actually wants to know the answer.

"What are you doing here anyway?" he asks, changing the subject.

Sōma scratches his head as he looks away again. "I came to see Nakiri."

"Really? That's new, you rarely come over here. She's usually the one going to you..." Akira mumbles. He seems to be talking to himself more than anything but Sōma hears it and finds himself unable to deny it. It doesn't sit well with him for some reason.

"Well, yeah. It's been a while since I've been here."

"That it has. You're always going all over the world for new inspiration. It's a wonder you even managed to graduate at all..." Akira remarks, "Nakiri even filled a sabbatical for you and got you a special advancement exam when you decided to come back during our third year."

"... that's true." Sōma acknowledges as he thinks back to these years. He had kind of left just like that, hadn't he? He hadn't really considered anything else. He was lucky to have Nakiri fill in for him.

"You left all your responsibilities as the first seat too," Akira adds, getting more and more annoyed by the minute as he remembers just how much work they had to do on top of theirs. Nakiri had refused to choose another first seat even when there was no sign of Yukihira coming back anytime soon. "Even Nakiri shouldered some of your work, on top of working as the dean. How irresponsible can you get?"

... Chefs were selfish beings indeed. He hadn't even thought about any of this before leaving or staying away as long as he did.

"Well, you did great without me. Tōtsuki has changed a lot since then, for the better." On his way there, Sōma had noticed the numerous research societies littering the grounds, many being of 'plebian' dishes as Nakiri used to label them. He had also seen more students coming from not-so-rich backgrounds than when he had first enrolled.

"We couldn't really wait around, could we? Plus, we only needed the majority to move things around anyway. Nakiri is to thank for a lot of those changes though. She once mentioned not wanting you to be ashamed when you came back." Akira shakes his head in wonder. Who would have thought that the once-ice queen would warm that much?

Sōma doesn't answer. He wouldn't know how to. He never thought that she had been thinking about him so much when he was gone. To the point of enabling more students from his universe into Tōtsuki too, even when she was once so fiercely against his mere presence here.

She has changed so much over the years. And he wasn't even there to witness it.

Maybe he did spend too much time away after all.

"Anyway. It was nice to see you but I have to go back to the Shiomi seminar for a meeting with our investors."

"Okay. See you later, Hayama. Maybe I'll drop by the seminar next time." Sōma grins.

"Please don't," Akira replies heartedly, still remembering the mess he and Kurokiba made every time they came over after the Fall Elections.

"I'll bring you something too!" Sōma exclaims, completely ignoring his refusal as he stands up and Akira sighs. He knows a losing battle when he sees one.

"Call beforehand at least." he simply says to which Sōma grins and nods. Nodding back, Akira resumes his way to the seminar as Sōma looks back to the dean's tower.

This conversation gave him even more things to think about. His earlier conversation with Nakiri had ended on a sour note and he couldn't just let it be like this. He still has to decide what he wants on a lot of things, but if there's one thing he's certain of, it's that Nakiri Erina is special to him and he really doesn't want things to end this way.

SnS

"I can't believe it! This little ..! How dare he?"

Alice bursts into Erina's office without as much as a knock and heavily settles on the comfortable chair she had placed in the corner of the room for when she visits her cousin. She really doesn't know how people can be feeling so much at ease sitting on cushions on the ground. Yes, she can do it but if there's the option of an elevated seat, she really doesn't see why she should.

Erina doesn't so much as look up even as her flamboyant cousin loudly sits and complains all the while.

"How dare he entertain those girls?! In my presence too! I was standing just there too and saw it all happening before my eyes! The gall of this man! How dare he?!"

Erina sighs as she glances up. Greeting her is the sight of an outraged Alice who keeps complaining without even stopping to take her breath. If she has to be subjected to this, whether she wants to or not (she doesn't), then she'd rather at least have some context. She might regret asking but-

"What is it?" Erina asks, exasperation and resignation coating her words.

"It's Ryō!" And really, she should have known. There are few men who could agitate her white-haired cousin these days, one of them being Ryō, while the other was her older brother. Let's just say Alice hadn't taken the whole 'kidnapping Erina to make her his wife' thing well, even less since she'd only recently heard about it from a slip-up of Asahi's. She'd probably calm down soon enough. "Some woman just came up to flirt with him and he didn't even turn her away!"

Now, this wasn't the first time something like this happened. Ryō has been popular since their high school years and a lot of girls have been coming up to him hoping to snatch him for themselves. Alice complained every time and it didn't help that he usually was entertaining them, even if it never went further than some small talk.

"She even had the gall to ask him out right in front of me! Like, seriously? What am I made of? Air?"

Erina sighs.

"You do realize that you've never officially claimed Ryō-kun as yours, right?"

"What do you mean! Of course, he is mine! What else would he be?!"

"…I meant in a romantic way."

Alice looks at her cousin as if she's grown another head.

"…he's always been mine though. Ever since I took him in from that port city in Denmark when we were little."

A vein pulses at Erina's temple as she looks at her cousin.

"That is not the same thing. You do realize you've taken him in as an aide and not as a lover or anything else, right?"

Alice looks confused as if she couldn't fathom where this was coming from. She isn't stupid.

"…yes?"

"So why, pray tell, is it a problem if he decides to flirt with someone else?"

"Because he's mine!" Erina closes her eyes a bit too forcefully and carefully reminds herself not to lose her cool over this. The day had been way too long already and in her emotionally exhausted state, she could feel her patience with her cousin's nonsense wearing thin. "Ryō's mine and that won't change," Alice states with a sense of finality and Erina can hear the last thread of her self-restraint snapping. Hard.

"And why wouldn't it change?! Do you realize how selfish you're being?! What if he wants to have a family of his own someday?! If you're not going to do something about it and won't stay by his side in this way, he has every right to go and look for it elsewhere!"

Alice is too stunned by the sudden outburst to speak but it doesn't seem to be a problem because Erina doesn't wait for her to.

"How selfish can you be? Why should he put his whole life on hold for you while waiting for you to finally decide what you want to be with him?! Do you even realize how unfair that is? If he wants to just quit whatever this is and start something with someone new, he has every right to! He does not belong to you or anyone else! He's his own person with his own wants and desires and if yours don't coincide with his, then he can just quit!

"It's been years Alice, he could leave any moment if you don't define your relationship properly. You should stop taking him for granted and think about what you really want!" Erina gets up and takes Alice by the arm, pulling her to the door and getting her out of her office, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do." And with that, she slams the door shut in her face.

Alice stays there, facing the closed wooden door in stunned silence until Hisako passes by and asks her what she is doing there. After blinking twice, Alice spins on her heels and starts making her way out without saying a single word, uncaring of the confusion she leaves Hisako in.

What on Earth just happened here…

SnS

When Erina gets home later that night, she is completely exhausted, emotionally and physically.

She has worked more than usual these days, trying to put other thoughts regarding a certain redhead to rest without much success, and after three weeks of this regime, she is seriously reconsidering her life choices. It wouldn't have been so bad if she at least managed to sleep properly but sleep eluded her, only coming upon her after she had worn herself completely out and was too exhausted to even think, so she often woke up more tired than the day before.

This needed to end. Like other things in her life… One of them being her one-sided love story.

The thought makes her heart sink even more as she reaches her bedroom door. After the events of the day, it's clear that Yukihira-kun had never so much as thought about her above her tongue, much less as a potential lover. That ship had sunk before it even properly got to sail. She had lost so many years hoping for something that would never happen… Erina just feels so foolish.

A tear glides down her cheek as she closes her eyes and crosses the threshold, finally falling into the safety of her room where no one but her will see.

Closing the door behind her, she lets her forehead rest upon the cool wooden door as she sheds more tears. She can't believe she was stupid enough to even think he wanted her like she wanted him. Is this her punishment for lying all those years? For never acknowledging his dishes despite their boundless creativity? This is too big a price to pay.

Erina slowly lifts her head, shifting slightly to reach for the switch when she freezes.

There, in the corner of her eye, she sees a shadow that shouldn't be there. It looks much too human for that and given the security of the Nakiri manor, no common trespasser should've been able to reach this room, much less lay in wait there for her.

Is it an assassin? A hitman? Why would they come for her? Yes, she might have offended some people before but was it really enough to want to kill her?

Shivers run down her spine as she slowly lets her hand fall away from the light switch and reaches for the doorknob again. Maybe if she was careful enough, they wouldn't realize that she was leaving before she was gone.

"Nakiri?"

Erina shrieks as she jumps, her heart beating loudly as she throws her bag in the general direction the voice came from, hoping to distract them long enough to call for help. She's still in the middle of panicking when she hears it make contact with something followed by a deep groan.

"Wait! It's me!"

Erina freezes as she lets the voice really sink in. It's not an unknown one, it's one she's very familiar with, one she heard just earlier today during a lengthy exchange. One she didn't think she'd hear again so soon.

"…Yukihira-kun..?"

"Yeah. It's me." Sōma confirms, rubbing his shin where Erina's bag had hit him.

He should've known listening to Alice was a bad idea. He had found it weird when she led him to a room deep inside the manor only to forbid him to light it and left him alone in there to wait for Erina which she claimed she was going to fetch. He was pretty sure more than an hour had passed since then.

He would've left if he hadn't fallen asleep on the couch while waiting, only to wake up after hearing the door open and close. He recognized the figure entering the room from the few moon rays filtering into it but it seemed that she didn't recognize him. Or see him at all for that matter…

Why did he listen to Alice again? Maybe running into her when he arrived at the manor hadn't been the stroke of luck he first thought it was.

"What are you doing here? Actually, why are you in my room and why was the light off?!"

Erina turns the light on, getting over her shock and feeling angry at the ridiculous situation she finds herself in.

"…this is your room?"

"…"

"I didn't know. I'm sorry. Alice led me here to wait for you but she didn't say it was your room."

"…"

Erina should have known Alice was involved. This was probably payback for this afternoon. Her cousin didn't appreciate being yelled at after all… even less when she was being called out for her behavior. Still, she didn't think that this was how she'd settle the score between them. This is just plain cruel, even if she probably didn't realize at the time. Like, seriously, why would she lead to her room the very person who indirectly rejected her that very day? This day really couldn't be worse.

"…I'm sorry. I just needed to talk about what you heard that night."

…well, she stands corrected. It sounds like it actually can.

"I have nothing to say to you." Erina retorts, looking away and up in an attempt to stop the tears from coming out.

"Well, I do."

Oh my goodness, why can't he take a hint?!

"I heard everything I needed to before, I don't need to hear anything more." Erina grits out, hoping to close any possibility of conversation only to falter when she hears his voice next.

"…you do though."

It's not what he says that makes her hesitate but the way he says it. He sounds a little broken, and Erina never thought she'd hear him sound like this one day. Glancing his way, she flinches when her eyes fall into his pleading ones and she shuts them in defeat. She can't turn him away when he's looking at her like that.

Sighing, she motions him to follow her as she leads him out of her room to talk. This wasn't the place she wanted to have that kind of conversation in.

SnS

As she leads Yukihira-kun inside her home office, Erina is tempted to sit at her desk and have him sit in front of it but she instead leads him to the two comfortable chairs placed in the corner not far from the coffee table.

As they sit, she looks down at her lap and waits for him to speak.

Sōma isn't sure where to start. He had thought about what to say a million times on his way there but still hadn't figured it out. He just knew he couldn't let the day end without clarifying things. He'd have to wing it.

"When I said that that night, I didn't mean it the way you probably understood it."

Erina frowns, looking up at him in confusion. What did he even mean?

"When I said that I hadn't thought about it that way, I meant that I hadn't thought of exploring new places for inspiration and coming up with new recipes for you to taste as a waste of time. I am always looking forward to seeing your reaction to my new recipes, and coming up with them each time is as challenging as it is exciting. It pushes me past my current limits and I love the thrill of not knowing what I'll find next. Seeing you enjoying them after each time is great, so I didn't think of it as wasting time."

As Sōma's words sink in, he expects Erina's frown to ease but it doesn't. She only looks back at her lap, her frown still firmly in place.

"My dad once told me that the secret to being a good chef is finding someone you want to give all of your food to. I had forgotten about it until Tadokoro said something similar a few months later, something about thinking about someone you love while cooking makes your food more delicious. I figured that was probably your special someone but I didn't give it much thought at the time, at least not until I noticed a pattern: I always call you first when I make something new." Sōma admits, trying to look at Erina's face but she still refuses to look at him. He wanted to deliver the next lines while looking into her eyes but it seems like this won't be possible.

"What I'm trying to say is that you, Nakiri Erina, are my special someone. I didn't realize right away, but it came to be this way over the years."

Silence drapes over them as his words float in the air.

Erina's eyes widen as she finally looks at him, disbelief written all over her face. A tear escapes from the corner of her eye and Sōma almost reaches to wipe it away when Erina's voice stops him in his tracks.

"…you're lying."

Sōma's hand drops to his lap as he looks at the girl sitting in front of him. He didn't think his words would be so hard to believe to her.

"…I have no reason to lie to you." he simply states, doing his best to convey his truthful feelings to her.

"You might be afraid of losing your most convenient taste tester." Sōma frowns.

"…convenient?"

"Yes. Wasn't it convenient to have me come downtown whenever you needed my tongue? Recipes are all we ever talk about, right?"

Sōma's frown deepens and he grits his teeth.

"We're both chefs, cooking takes a large part of our life and we met in a cooking school. Of course, I'm gonna talk a lot about it! Cooking is the one thing we have in common!"

His words are like a bucket of cold water to her.

"…what do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said. We live in two different universes, Nakiri. They join when it comes to cooking but not otherwise. What was I supposed to talk about? Would you even enjoy a conversation about a universe so far from your own?"

"Yes!" Erina retorts exasperatedly, "I would if it's about yours!"

It's Sōma's turn to snort.

"Excuse me for thinking otherwise when you didn't seem very interested in it when you were insulting my poorer background when we first met," he says with no room for contest and Erina sees red.

"Are you really going to hold that against me after all these years?! Am I not allowed to change?! You're not the only one who changed over the years!"

That shuts Sōma's mouth because, yes, she did change a lot. The current state of Tōtsuki is a testament to that and he can't deny there are a lot more 'plebeian' dishes representatives now adorning the campus along with students with poorer backgrounds. He saw as much this afternoon and after his talk with Hayama, he knew this line of reasoning was more than wrong, even if he used to think that way before today. She did take an interest in his universe but-

"Still, how far would you allow this universe to infiltrate yours..?" Sōma starts, his tone much softer and a bit insecure, "Would you allow it to touch your private life too?"

Erina's agitation falls back down as she hears what he doesn't say. He didn't think she'd want to get into a more intimate relationship with him? Why? Did she do something that made him think that?

Erina racks her memory but comes up empty until the solution appears in her mind. It's not that she did something to make him think so, it's that she didn't do anything to make him think otherwise.

Now that she takes the time to think about it, she never really initiated anything with him. She has always been afraid to appear needy and pushy so she didn't really contact him, even if she really wanted to. Likewise, she never even thought to confess because she was waiting for him to. Even if she didn't send negative signals, she didn't send positive ones either…

She hadn't wanted to see it before but now she can clearly see how she contributed to this stalemate between them. He wasn't the only one to blame. She had her part of the responsibility too.

"…I wanted you to." she admits softly, "I thought you would, eventually. But you never crossed the line. Even if I kept expecting you to."

Sōma watches her for a few minutes, considering her words and wondering where they currently stand.

"…you're talking in past tense. Do you still want me to cross it? It seems to me that you were trying to sever our ties recently…"

Sōma trails off and Erina looks away, unable to counter his words. If food was their only tie, then he could have interpreted her recent actions this way. She did put an end to their never-ending feud after all, of her not admitting his dishes were good. But her objective was actually the opposite of cutting things off, those were just a means to an end. And she says as much.

"I wasn't trying to cut things off, I was trying to see where you stood, what was left between us if I wasn't the one running, and if I set you free."

"…set me free?"

Sōma's confusion transpires through his question and Erina bites her lip. She never thought she'd have to explain her decisions to him when she made them. Heat rushes to her cheeks as she glances at him.

"In a way, I was keeping you tied to me by never admitting your dishes were good, without realizing." she murmurs, "You're competitive and a sore loser. So you'd keep coming back for more. I wanted to know if you'd stay or leave if that reason didn't stand anymore."

Silence drapes over them as Sōma lets her words sink in.

He never felt trapped though. Yes, he had been irked at first, wanting to prove himself and get her to acknowledge him.

But with time, when it became clear that she did acknowledge his cooking even if she never admitted it, it stopped being about that.

He loved seeing her enjoy his food, relishing in her every reaction and the way she'd lose herself in it, into what he had produced for her by going beyond what he knew how to before. He always put extra care in his dishes for her. Though she apparently hadn't realized that. Most were meant to be eaten straight out of the stove hence why he always called her downtown in his diner.

But thinking about it, he could have also come to her and cooked something at Tōtsuki for her. …maybe he just liked to see her sitting in his diner waiting for his food, liked to see her in his universe like she belonged there. His special person in his most precious place. Maybe that was the real reason why he kept calling her downtown. He always felt reenergized after seeing her enjoying his dishes there like he was truly home.

"It stopped being about that a long time ago though," Sōma admits, breaking the silence and Erina's eyes widen as she watches him. It looks like she has trouble believing him, so he continues. "Even if you never said it, it was clear as day that you thought my dishes were good. Yes, I did want to hear it from your lips, but it became a bonus, not the primary goal. I just wanted to see you enjoying the dishes I'd made for you with all the knowledge I'd acquired during my culinary travels."

Erina's eyebrows furrow together as her eyes search his, seemingly trying to understand what he means beyond what he says.

"Maybe I just loved coming home to you."

Erina promptly proceeds to combust as her face flares up. This wasn't how she expected this conversation to go - not that she was complaining. It feels like a confession that she didn't expect to receive. Is it a confession? Is Yukihira-kun confessing to her right now?

"Are you confessing to me?"

Sōma snorts as laughter escapes from his lips, making Erina's face turn even redder, a feat previously thought infeasible.

"What's so funny?" Erina asks quietly, positively burning in embarrassment as she watches him laugh. Still, the way he laughs doesn't make her feel bad or like she just made a fool of herself. He just seems genuinely amused by the situation.

"I've been trying to. Are you finally believing me now?" Sōma answers her previous question with raised eyebrows and an amused smile.

He didn't think she'd ask this at this point of the conversation. Though with their records, it's probably best she did. At least, they can make sure that they're on the same page and avoid further misunderstanding.

"I like you."

Erina can't tear her eyes from the softness in Sōma's eyes and smile as he pronounces those words. Now that she's actually paying attention, she realizes that she has seen that same look before directed at her. She isn't sure that he even realized she caught him looking at her but it happened when he came back from abroad that first time (and all the times after), after she accepted his new challenge of making her admit his dish was good with playful defiance. It was a look that had left her flustered without knowing why but, maybe she has found the reason now.

Sōma stands as she watches, slowly walking toward her seat before kneeling in front of her.

"Don't have an omiai." he says, his voice soft as he carefully takes her right hand in his and brings it up to his lips, "Give me another chance?"

Erina's face might just permanently be red at this point. She can feel Yukihira's lips against her knuckles and the softness makes her want to melt. The soft and hopeful look in his eyes isn't helping either. Is another answer even possible for her right now?

Erina doesn't know what she looks like at the moment but she watches as Yukihira's expression gets even softer as he watches her.

It's not fair.

If he looks at her like that then she can't even pretend to think about it twice. She feels stripped naked under his eyes, unable to hide behind the tough attitude she sometimes adopts. Her vulnerability is exposed for him to see but, unexpectedly, she doesn't feel like it's a disadvantage under his gaze.

"…will you keep spending so much time abroad?" Erina softly asks because, regardless of her feelings, if they're going to build something together, they have to be able to see each other regularly. Three or four times a year was just too little. She doesn't know if her heart could handle it once more, especially with a new relationship status. Hopefully, a more intimate one.

Sōma actually takes a few seconds to think about it, before gently squeezing her hand.

"I think I spent enough time abroad for now. I want to give it my best, to give us a real chance. I'll be staying in Japan a lot more, and if I need to leave for a while, I'll make sure to discuss it with you beforehand." Sōma speaks truthfully and really, that's all she could ask for. They're not high school students anymore and they both have their responsibilities after all. Still, she wants the chance to spend time with him and if he's always away, that would be difficult.

"Okay." Erina agrees with a soft smile. Who knows, maybe they'd have the opportunity to go abroad together too. Sōma waits for her to speak more but when it becomes clear that she's not going to, he has to ask.

"Does that mean you're agreeing to be my girlfriend?"

"I- I-" Erina didn't expect such a blunt question but really, she should have. This is Yukihira Sōma we're talking about here, the man isn't one to avoid a subject but be very direct about it. Still, she feels like it's going too fast for her heart to follow. "Let's- let's take it slow?" she asks, almost pleading for her heart as she hides behind her hands, only hearing Sōma's soft responding chuckles as she does.

"Okay." he agrees and Erina spies his expression from between her fingers, her heart fluttering at the sight of his smile only to start thundering in her chest at his next words, "Prepare yourself to be wooed, Nakiri Erina," he warns with a playful smile and really, she can't wait to see what the future has in store for them.