Chapter Text
Dallas had always been different. He felt different. Angry, hurt, betrayed. He'd felt it all. Even amongst his own gang, or what barely counted as one, he felt unlike any of them. He wasn't smart like Ponyboy. He wasn't as strong as Darry. He wasn't funny and smooth like Two-Bit and Steve. And he sure as hell wasn't charismatic like Sodapop. No, Dally was a hood. A JD. A no good troublemaker. He had been in and out of jail his entire life. All his life, he'd been different. It's just.. lately he'd been feeling more different than usual. He found himself drawn to.. girly things. Of all the damned things he could fixate on. He wanted to hate it, but he wanted it at the same time. He longed for it. He just.. didn't know how to deal with it. So he used the anger and rejection he felt against others. What more could he do? He was so confused. So... wrong. He began to envy his own girlfriend of all things! He felt broken.
He needed someone to talk to, but who could he tell? He couldn't just say to anyone in the gang, "Hey I think I like girly things and wish I were a girl"! They'd think he was crazy! He wasn't no queer. He didn't know what to do. It was a constant reminder of how alone he was. How different and broken he was. He hated it. Hated everything. But most importantly, he hated himself.