Work Text:
To: Atash Laidir
From: Arri Laidir
Dear Atash,
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO
NO ONE IS TELLING ME ANYTHING
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU
YOU BETTER TELL ME OR I SWEAR ON ANDRASTE’S PERT ASSCHEEKS I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND MURDER YOU MYSELF.
Love,
Arri
To: Arri Laidir
From: ROOK
Dear Arri,
Okay, first: calm down. I’m alive, I’m safe (well, mostly) and most importantly, I AM IN HIDING. I have no idea how your messenger found me - did you seriously bribe a member of the Carta??? - but please please please don’t send me anything else that way. I’m already in pretty deep shit without dragging a whole organized crime syndicate into it. I know you don’t like the Lords, but please please please PLEASE give anything you want to send me to Isabela. She’ll make sure I get them, safely, without giving me OR you away. You can trust her.
Also, really important: For the time being, I’m going by Rook. Hopefully no one (except the Carta, that’s a given now) read your REALLY LOUD LETTER. I’ve already burned it.
To answer your questions:
- I’m helping Varric. It’s not a big deal, but I can’t say what I’m helping with or why. You remember Varric, right? He’s a good guy. He’s been doing this sort of thing decades longer than you or me. You can trust him.
- See above as to why I can’t answer this question
- Long story short: I may or may not have accidentally but maybe slightly on purpose killed the Queen’s cousin. I’ll give you the longer story once I’m more secure.
- AGAIN, SEE ABOVE
- Please don’t swear on anyone’s asscheeks, they’re squishy and unreliable at the best of the times.
Hope that clears things up. PLEASE SEND LETTERS THROUGH ISABELA .
Love you,
Rook
To: “ROOK”
From: Arri
At
“ROOK”,
I’m sending this through Isabela like you asked, so you better write me back because I had to endure her sad face when I handed this over. Every time she sees me, she keeps trying to apologize. I keep telling her to stop, there’s nothing she can say that will make it better and I don’t know why she’s still trying over a decade later, but she keeps trying anyway. It’s like she can’t help it, she just pukes up all her sad on me. So, once again, write me back.
Yes, I do remember Varric. He seemed like a pretty decent sort. Didn’t deal in bullshit. Which is weird, considering he’s a noble and all. I think I would’ve liked him if he hadn’t been the reason you went away. As it is, I’ll trust him, because you asked. But I’m still mad.
Also: no, I did not bribe a member of the Carta. Directly. Where the letter went after I gave it to Shenzi is out of my hands. But I am sorry for putting you at risk like that. I just panicked. Everyone was telling me you were just gone, forever, out of the blue, and wouldn’t tell me why. Even Isabela wouldn’t say anything. Shenzi said he might be able to track Tethras down if I paid him enough. I shouldn’t have done it and I’m sorry and I really really really hope I didn’t make things worse.
Speaking of: you killed the Queen’s cousin???? I know, you won’t tell me until you’re settled, but what the fuck? One minute you’re telling me you’re going on a routine expedition with a couple of nobles and the next you’re on the run, and all Isabela will tell me is that you have to stay out of Rivain until the heat dies down. I asked her when she thinks that might be, and she just shrugged and said, “At least until the Queen dies.” SO HELPFUL.
Please write back. Please be careful. Please be okay. I might write Varric and tell him what I’ll do if he gets you hurt or dead. If I can send a letter to you, I can send one to him, right?
Love,
Arri
To: Isabela
From: Varric Tethras
Rivaini,
You mind telling Rook’s sibling that I didn’t actually kidnap her and force her into my service like I’m a one-man press gang? I’m going to write them myself, but I feel like I need verbal confirmation from someone in a position of authority to prop it up. Rook tells me Arri doesn’t like you, but I figure they’d probably trust your word just a little bit over mine, a stranger they’ve met once.
Tell them I’m really, deeply, truly sorry. Put heavy emphasis on that. I’m not in the business of taking beloved self-sacrificing big sisters away from their families.
In addition, make sure your channels are tight. We’re on the move again and I’d prefer to not have to pick up and run the second we get to where we’re going because someone’s kid sibling gave us away to the Carta. The kid's determined, I'll give them that.
Will tell you more when I can.
Love,
Varric
To: Arri Laidir
From: Varric Tethras
Arri,
Calm down, kid. She’s okay. I promise.
Best,
Varric Tethras
To: Varric Tethras
From: Arri Laidir
Are you serious? A month goes by with no word and all I get from you is “calm down”?
Fuck you, Tethras.
Arri Laidir
To: Varric Tethras
From: Arri Laidir
Tethras:
Okay, fine, I didn’t mean it. Please tell me what’s going on. Or at least just tell me she’s okay. Or not okay. She won’t tell you if she’s hurting or sick. You can’t ask her, either. She’ll just pretend everything’s fine.
I’m not sorry about being mad. I am sorry about saying “fuck you”.
Best,
Arri Laidir
To: Arri Laidir
From: Varric Tethras
Arri,
I’m really sorry about that letter I sent, first off. It was unforgivably short. But in my defense, I had about five seconds to write it before cramming it in the envelope with Isabela’s report and sending it off with the messenger before we had to book it. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I’m not usually that brief - even when they really wish I would be.
I know you’d probably like to get a letter from Rook, but she’s out on some business right now, and I have no idea when we’ll be sitting still long enough to send off another message. So you’re stuck with me. Sorry about that.
I think I can safely assume that Rook would send you her love if she could. She worries a lot about you, and all of the folks back in her hometown. She told me there’s fifteen of you Laidir kids out there. Shit. Maybe I should worry less about the Carta and more about the Laidir mob coming down on me. Mind being my spokesperson and telling your siblings I did not, in fact, kidnap their sister?
You don’t need to worry about me not knowing when Rook needs help. I’ve been around enough of her type to know when they’re covering something up. Shit, I’m one of them. I do my best to get her to rest and recoup when we can. But you know Rook. She’s stubborn. Won’t stop until the job’s done, and done right. That’s how I came up with ‘Rook’ for her: one of the best pieces on the chessboard, but always thinking in straight lines. I’ll make sure she gets her rest in, one way or another. I’ll also make sure she writes you as soon as we’ve got the time.
Our other friend, Harding, wants to let you know she’s watching out for Rook, too. Now, I’m pretty hawk-eyed, but Harding’s a class of her own. I would trust her to get a flock of ducklings through the Deep Roads. You can definitely count on her, if not me.
Fuck you, too,
Varric Tethras
To: Rook
From: Arri
Ata
Rook,
Varric told me you’re busy and don’t have time to write. I’ll believe him. He also asked me to tell our siblings that you’re okay and he didn’t kidnap you. We know he didn’t kidnap you. No one would kidnap you. You’re too annoying. They wouldn’t dare.
In all seriousness, though: if you can’t tell me where you are, or what you’re doing, or why…. Can you at least tell me what you’re, I don’t know, eating? You’re not living off of that chocolate hoard I know you carry around with you, are you? It would be real stupid for you to get sawed in half by a hammer-blade because of the runs. If that’s how it happens, I’ll make sure everyone knows. And that they tell the story for ages to come at the Gilded Lily. Camila would definitely make sure of it. So eat actual meals if you can, okay? I’m telling Varric about your hoard so he makes sure you eat a vegetable every once in a while. Not sorry.
Tide stopped by the other day. He wants you to know he heard what happened, and he’s proud of you. You did the right thing, even if the Lords didn’t back you up like they should have.
All of us are proud of you. Camila wants to tell you she’s still selling that weird rice and yoghurt dish you like so much. Hardly anyone eats it, but it’s still there on the menu. Just in case.
Don’t worry about us. We’re taking care of ourselves just fine. Worry about you. Take care of you . Please.
Love,
Arri
To: Varric
From: Arri
Tethras,
I’m not going to keep bugging you, don’t worry. I know you’ve got better things to do, and more important people to write. But I just need you and Harding to know - for my sanity, if nothing else - that Rook will refuse to eat normal food unless she’s reminded. I know, she’s a fully grown adult who’s been leading treasure crews with the Lords for years now, I’m not asking you to babysit her, I’m just asking you to make sure she’s got something in her besides chocolate. She’s got a secret supply she’ll snack on when she’s stressed (which is all the time) and it ruins her appetite, as well as her gut. Really, it’s for everyone’s safety that I’m telling you this: make sure she eats an apple or something every once in a while, or else risk having a crabby, toilet-bound Qunari on your hands.
Fuck you,
Arri
To: Arri
From: Rook
Arri,
What the fuck.
Love,
Rook
To: Arri Laidir
From: Lace Harding
Hello, Arri!
You don’t know me, but I think I know you pretty well by now. Rook’s told us all kinds of stories (nothing embarrassing, don’t worry). Varric wanted to write you - says you’ve got that ‘takes no shit’ spirit he likes to see - but he doesn’t have the time to write anyone that isn’t one of our contacts these days. Rook wanted to write you, too, but I saw she only wrote you a couple words. From what I’ve seen in the short time we’ve traveled together, Rook isn’t going to tell you the hard stuff we’re seeing, and from what she's said about you, you would be the type who needs to know the hard stuff. I can’t tell you all of it myself, but I think I can tell you more than she will. I promise my letters aren’t going to be all doom and gloom, though. I don’t like making people upset.
So I’ll give you bad news first, good news last. It’s always nice to save the best for last, right? It sticks better in your mind.
So, bad news:
Varric is a really bad cook. So am I. I try, but people don’t seem to like stuff I make. I made my ham-and-jam slam yesterday (that’s a sandwich with jam and ham) and Rook and Varric looked like they were being forced to eat nug poop. They still ate it, because we don’t waste food in this outfit, but they weren’t happy about it. I maintain that it’s still better than the slop Varric makes out of some weird powder he keeps in an old pouch. He calls it “miner’s gruel” and says it’s a time-honored dwarven tradition, which is why it sucks. But food’s food, and it’s better than going hungry. I think.
Good news:
Varric’s making sure Rook eats at least an apple a day. Literally. At random points during the day, he’ll suddenly pull out an apple and throw it at Rook, and order her to eat it. If he can’t find an apple, he’ll find some other random fruit or vegetable. Yesterday it was half a cabbage. He threw half a cabbage at Rook and ordered her to eat it . This is starting to become one of the high points of our daily routine, although Rook’s not such a huge fan. I think Varric’s actually trying to find weird, random produce to throw at Rook now. I’ll update you on what he finds.
Even better news:
You said Rook forgets to eat normal food, but she’s actually a pretty great cook herself. Definitely better than either of us. Knows how to make real dishes you would eat at an inn out of whatever ingredients we can scrounge. Varric says it was worth recruiting her just for that. I’ve been travelling with him for years now, and I have to say I agree. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s leagues better than what we were surviving on before.
I know, this isn’t real news, but again, we’re very limited on what we can talk about. If you want, I can keep writing you and keep you updated, as often as I can. But I totally understand if you would rather not. I just thought you might like to get a clearer picture of what’s going on. I know I would, if it were my sister.
Hope you’re doing well!
All my best,
Lace Harding
To: Lace Harding
From: Arri Laidir
Harding,
Do you prefer to be called Lace or Harding? It would be nice to have you writing me and I want to make sure we’ve got the proper form of address down. Your letter made me decide that you’re my friend now, even though we’ve never met. You’ll find that’s just a thing us Laidirs do. We can’t help it.
You seem like a really nice person. I’m glad. Rook needs someone like that looking out for her. Varric seems really nice, too, but he sounds a little too much like Isabela for me to feel at ease. I don’t know if Rook told you, but the Lords and I don’t get along. I know I can’t force everyone to stay in a safe little bubble like me, but I would at least like to know people with some semblance of sanity are looking out for her.
So you got Rook to cook? Good. Our sister, Camila, runs a tavern called The Gilded Lily, and she made sure all of our siblings knew how to cook a couple of real meals before they left the house and struck out on their own. She’ll be glad to know her lessons didn’t go to waste.
Tell Varric I’m grateful. Really. Keep throwing produce at her.
Be well, keep safe, don’t die,
Best,
Arri
To: Arri
From: Rook
Hey, Arri,
Did you know that nugs can grow to be ten feet tall if they live long enough and keep eating lyrium-laced fungi? Because I do. And now, so do you. Luckily, the lyrium doesn’t make them aggressive or anything. They’re still normal nugs, on the inside. They just look fucking terrifying.
That reminds me: how’s Brick doing? Is he getting on with Eduardo? I miss him. Really could have used him when we were running away from that nug. Nothing like a pissed-off mabari to scare off giant lyrium-addicted herbivores.
I miss you, too. I miss everyone. But I promise we’re all doing okay. Varric’s still throwing random stuff at me. Yesterday it was a durian. How he got durian in the middle of nowhere in Tevinter, I could not tell you, but he had no problem chucking it into my lap when we made camp. He made sure it was a really aromatic one, too. So thanks for that. My only consolation was his and Harding’s faces when I cracked it open. Varric said it wasn’t that it smelled bad, just that it was a fruit, so he expected it to smell, you know, fruity. Not like, in his words, ‘fruity garlic soup’. He said it didn’t taste too bad, though.
Weirdly, Harding refused to taste it. Said it just didn’t ‘look right’. I was too polite to tell her that her applesauce omlette from the previous night didn’t look right, either.
Miss you. Love you. What are you up to? How’s the apprenticeship going? Is Darath working you hard? Please don’t burn yourself out. You tell me I never relax, but you’re even worse than I am. Give Brick a slap on the butt for me the next time you see him. That’s his favorite.
Love,
Rook
To: Rook
From: Arri
Dear Rook,
What sort of mindscrew mission are you on where you’re running away from giant lyrium-enhanced nugs??? No, wait, don’t tell me. I know you’ll just gloss over it. That’s what you do: drop these ridiculous stories and then run away without explanation. I’ll just ask Lace. She tells me the truth. Or as much of it as she can, anyway.
Brick is fine, don’t worry. I gave him a good swipe on the butt when I saw him the other day. He got so excited he just about licked off the outer layer of skin on my face. He still really misses you. That mabari imprinting is no joke. Eduardo said Brick does fine with him, likes him well enough, but he’s just not his person. You’re his person. And you’re always going to be his person, no matter who’s feeding him or rubbing his belly.
Camila says she’s still upset you didn’t leave him with her, but she understands Eduardo probably needed him more. Still, she says a mabari would’ve been nice to have around when the late-night regulars start getting sloppy.
What am I up to? That’s a laugh. I’m a healer’s apprentice in the tiniest, quietest town on Rivain’s coast. The worst we ever have to deal with is sunburn and dehydration. Darath said he had a lot more to do a few years ago with the Lords. Now the Lords have grown, though, they’ve got their own dedicated healers. I’m definitely not wishing for a plague or a pirate attack or anything. I just wish I had more to do than memorizing Maldoni’s Guide to Medicinal Plants, or making sunbalm. I’ve made so much sunbalm. No matter how well I wash, I can’t get the coconut smell out of my skin. I just walk around all day smelling delicious. It’s annoying. And dangerous, when the seagulls are out.
Incidentally, let me know if you need any. You mentioned Tevinter - that’s a pretty sunny place. You can probably find sunbalm there, but I’m betting it’s nowhere near as good as mine. I’ve had so much practice. Isabela said she might be able to wrangle up a little care package for you, provided nothing is over a ten ounces and can fit in a four-by-four box.
I am NOT sending you chocolate.
Love you, be safe, don’t die,
Arri
To: Arri
From: Varric
Hey, kid,
Just wanted to shoot off a quick message, because we’re headed underground for a bit and I know you’ll burst a vein if we don’t leave you with a heads-up. We’ll probably be gone two or three weeks. A month, if we’re really unlucky. Tell the Laidir tribe Rook’s safe and well, and we don’t anticipate any giant nugs this time.
Rook tells me she’s got nine siblings in the Lords. She also tells me you’re not a big fan of the Lords. Can’t say I blame you. Rivaini (Isabela) is a good friend, but I can’t imagine it’s easy to watch your family go off one by one to be treasure hunters, getting into all this dangerous shit. I do imagine Rook going on the run with me probably felt even worse. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. Don’t think I properly apologized for that.
Much obliged for the sunbalm, by the way. I don’t know if you know this, but dwarves weren’t really made for prolonged exposure to the sun. I know you intended it for Rook, but Harding burns like a cooked lobster if she’s out in the sunlight for more than ten minutes. I’m only marginally better. The stuff you make is definitely better than the crap they smear together in Tevinter. Smells better, too - pretty sure Tevinter apothecaries make theirs with lard and earwax. If you’re interested in a side hustle, I’ll gladly pay you to be our sunbalm supplier. I’m being dead serious. If you can make a pack-sized jar of the stuff, I’ll tell Rivaini where she can drop it off, and we’ll be able to pick it up once we’re back up top. Definitely a risk, but fuck it. I’ll send the payment through my accountant back in Kirkwall.
Don’t worry, I’ve packed a hefty supply of produce. We won’t be getting scurvy anytime soon, that’s for damn sure. Rook’s reflexes are improving, too. Didn’t even flinch when I chucked that head of lettuce at her yesterday.
Take care.
Fuck you,
Varric
To: Rook
From: Arri
Hey,
Varric told me you’re going to be out of touch for a while. I figured I might as well write this letter anyway. Save some news up for you so you’ll be all caught up by the time you get back topside.
Not that there’s much news to share. Camila’s fine. Brick’s fine. Jayne’s visiting. He threw me in the sea yesterday, the same way he used to when we were kids. It was nice. Might ask him to throw me again the next time someone comes into the apothecary to complain of sunburn. Then I’ll just dive down and go live with the mermaids instead. I know everyone says they don’t exist, but hell, ten years ago there was a giant hole in the sky. Who’s to say mermaids aren’t real?
Sounds like you’re really busy, doing whatever it is you’re doing. Now, I’m not going to try guessing too hard, since this is all hush-hush, but I think anyone reading our letters could easily deduce that you’re tracking something, or someone, all over Thedas. I hope, whatever it is/they are, you find it soon. It sounds like they’re trying to get you killed.
Varric said he’d pay me to make more sunbalm. Look at me, just a 20-year-old apprentice, already making remedies for nobility. Soon they’ll be demanding my sunbalm all over Rivain. Maybe the Queen will want some. And then I can poison it so she’ll die and you can come home.
Hope whatever’s underground doesn’t eat you. Or smash you. I read The Tale of the Warden recently, and it did not make me feel better. Did you know they’ve got these giant magical moving statues called golems down in Orzammar? One of them made it to the surface, apparently, and then disappeared somewhere in Tevinter. “Shale, the Last True Golem”. If you find a giant glowing rock that talks, run the other way. I would assume that would be natural instinct, but given past evidence, you need the reminder. Please, for the love of the Maker, don’t try to make friends with it.
Send me a letter as soon as you’re not underground anymore. Don’t make me poison the Queen.
Love you. Be safe. Don’t die.
Arri
To: Varric
From: Arri
Hey, Viscount,
I sent off a few pack-size jars of sunbalm with Isabela - one for each of you. Provided you don’t smother it over every inch of your body on a daily basis, it should last a few weeks. Do let me know when you need more. I’m still just an apprentice, so I have very little money and a lot of sunbalm.
Things did get exciting yesterday - we got a broken leg in our clinic. Kid jumped off a cliff into what he thought was deep water, but missed the big flat rocks right under the surface. He was lucky all he got was one measly broken leg. Darath - my teacher - had me do the setting and splint. We’re both mages, so we could, technically, heal it up quick with magic, but Darath’s pretty adamant about letting the body heal in its own time. “Much cleaner that way,” he says. “Much less trauma to the body.” I’ve been healed with magic before, and I have to agree. I don’t know if Rook’s told you - not sure when or how this would ever come up - but I lost an arm and an eye in an accident when I was five. Darath tried to magically re-attach my arm, and - to spare you the fun, gristly details - it did not go well. I still have nightmares about it. And only one arm.
I’m not sure why I’m telling you all this. You’re weirdly easy to talk to, I guess. Maybe don’t get injured and try healing it with magic all the time. I know you probably know that already, but I also know that’s what you adventuresome types do: know a fact and then ignore it. Please, like with the vegetables, for my sanity, don’t ignore it.
Be safe. Don’t die. Take care of Rook.
Fuck you,
Arri
To: Arri
From: Varric
Well, shit, kid.
Not to push all your drama into one basket, but going through something like that, it’s no wonder you’re so worried about Rook. You’ve seen the worst happen. You had the worst happen to you. I think you telling me that story was your way of telling me why you tipped off the Carta to look for Rook. And I get it. Maybe not completely - your pain is yours, after all. But I do get it.
I say that, not as someone having gone through the exact same thing myself, but as someone who’s had the worst happen. That hole in the sky ten years ago? I was part of the team that closed it. Kirkwall, the city where that mage blew up the Chantry and threw half of Thedas into full-on civil war? I’m Viscount of Kirkwall, and I once counted that very mage as my friend. I once counted the person we’re chasing as my friend, as well. I hope they still are. Then we might be able to end this peacefully, without any Chantries being blown up or holes torn into the sky. One can only hope.
We’re keeping an eye on Rook, and Rook’s been keeping an eye on us. You’re right - she needs reminding to take care of herself. She’s got a good head on her shoulders, might be one of the best strategists I’ve ever seen, a natural born leader, but she forgets she needs to eat and sleep and tend to her own wounds. Harding and I are doing all we can to break her out of that way of thinking. I’ve had a few other friends who were like that, and it literally killed one of them. I’ll be damned if I see another good soul go that way again.
So, I guess that’s my way of saying: whatever happens, Rook will be okay. I’ll make sure of it. She’s got a lot of good people on her side. You included.
Keep writing to her. Keep telling her - us - about the stuff going on in your life. About vegetables and broken legs and sunbalm. Keep reminding her there’s a world outside of all this shit.
Rook tells me you like to read. I happen to like writing. I’m sending you some copies of my books. Maybe it’s misplaced vanity (hell, maybe you’ve already read them) but I want you to hear these big, epic, heroic stories from the perspective of a normal person who just happened to get thrown into them, like Rook. I embellish, like any writer, but I try to keep to the truth when it comes to the actual people.
Hope you’re keeping well, kid. Keep writing. I mean it.
Fuck you, as always,
Varric
To: Arri
From: Rook
Hey,
We made it! Please don’t poison the Queen. I think that might result in you being forced to go on the run with me, rather than me coming home. And as much as I would love going on a fun road trip with you all over northern Thedas, I’m pretty sure you would hate it.
We didn’t meet any golems, much to my disappointment and (I’m assuming) your relief. It was pretty boring overall, actually. Once you get past the old dwarven ruins, rivers of lava, and giant spiders, you find that everything underground just looks like a bunch of rocks.
We didn't find what we were looking for, either. But it wasn't a complete waste - Varric got me to try this glowing mushroom he says is a delicacy in Orzammar. Pretty sure he was just messing with me, though, because it was the nastiest thing I've ever put in my mouth. Tasted how dirty mop water smells, with a nice little sprinkling of fuzz for texture. I don't think I will ever eat another mushroom, glowing or not, as long as I live.
My tongue did glow blue for a while afterward, though, which was pretty neat.
Another good thing we found was an extra shiny golden nug sculpture. It was buried under a pile of rubble in one of the thaigs we passed through. Not cursed or anything, far as I can tell. The most mysterious thing about it is why anyone would use so much gold to sculpt a nug, of all things.
Varric says I should send it to you. I told him about your souvenir shelf. It's pretty valuable, but I think it would also look pretty good there. Interested?
I'll just have to sell it, otherwise. The jar of sunbalm you sent has taken up all of the extra space in my pack.
Okay, got to go. If he's still around, tell Jayne I love him and he still owes me that silver for the goat fight.
Love,
Rook
To: Rook
From: Arri
Rook,
I'm sorry, did you say giant spiders?
And yes, I do want the golden nug. I've got the space all ready. His name will be Harald, and he will look magnificent next to that broken-off statue hand Bo sent me.
Bo’s still off somewhere in the Nocen Sea. Maker knows where. Isabela says she hasn't heard from him in a few weeks. But you know Bo. He'll probably show up tomorrow at the Hall, acting like he just went for a quick stroll and simply lost track of the time.
I really hope so, anyway. You're the only one besides Camila who actually tells me anything. And I live with Camila. She couldn't avoid me even if she wanted to.
Also, I still maintain that the goat fight was rigged. The goat clearly had bigger horns than you. There's no way you could have won. But I won't say anything because Jayne ate the cardamom bun I was saving for my after-work treat yesterday and could use a lesson in humility.
He's been kind of a pain the last few days, honestly. He's in between jobs with the Lords and he's all antsy. He's chopped enough wood to last us several winters and fixed every leak and draft in the tavern. He's on his way to making new holes just so he can patch them.
He’s worried about you, too. He'd never say it, but he asks every day if I got another letter or if there's any news about the job you're on. I keep reminding him you're not with the Lords anymore (or at least, not for now), so no one has any idea what you're doing. I don't even know what you're doing. But he keeps worrying at it like a dog with a bone. Which does inspire an idea: maybe he could help out Eduardo and spend time with Brick. At least he'd be out of our hair for a few hours a day.
I shouldn't say that. I don't want him out of my hair. I don't want any of you out of my hair. I want you all here making big tangles, driving me crazy. I miss crazy.
But. Tide says keeping you all here, if I had the power to do it, would just make you miserable. And he's right. Damn it.
Out of fifteen kids, why was it just me and Camila who had the sense to stay put? Tide says you all got infected with Ma’s “free spirit”, but I think you're all just idiots. Ma went a lot of places, but her house was still here in Gisela.
Alright, I'll stop moaning. I know you had no say in leaving. But… I feel like you still would have. Even if you didn't kill the Queen's cousin. Maybe I just need to make peace with that, same way I made peace with my arm and eye. At least you're still around.
Tell Varric I really love the books. I knew he was a writer, but I figured it was a noble vanity project kind of thing. But no, his stuff is actually good. He does embellish, like he said, but he doesn't sugarcoat the people or change the facts. And, for someone who's not a mage, he’s really really good at describing weird magic shit. I've been doing sketches following his descriptions, diagramming it out, looking everything up in Rosa’s old texts, and I've learned more about the Fade and demons from a week of doing that than I have in two years with Dathan. He's not pleased with me - says Varric's books are just distracting me and I need to shut up about Dorian Pavus and the time-travelling spell and get back to making sunbalm. Maybe he's right. It's not like I'm ever going to need any of this stuff. When am I going to need to know the difference between a spirit of Pride and a spirit of Hubris?
Still going to finish All This Shit Is Weird , though.
Wow, this was long. Guess I had a lot on my mind. Sorry about that. I'll just end it here before I get swept up in another tangent.
Take care. Be safe. Don't die.
Love,
Arri
To: Arri
From: Lace
Hey, Arri,
It's been a while, I know. A lot has happened.
First off, this is really hard to write, because I still can't really believe it:
Varric is dead.
The thing - the person - we were tracking did it. Not on purpose. But not really by accident either. I don't know how to explain it. It all happened so fast. And I have no idea how much will matter if this letter gets intercepted. But I feel like you deserve to know.
Rook is in charge now. She's been doing her best, which is great, but it's obviously really hard. They were close. I don't think I've ever seen Varric take so quickly to another person. If I'm honest, I think he always knew, deep down, that he wasn't going to live to see the end of this mission. And I think he's been preparing Rook to take over this whole time.
Why Rook, and not me? I've been on this mission much longer, after all.
The truth is, the person we're after - or, not anymore, it's complicated now - anyway, he knows me. He knows what I would do. He's got me figured out. Besides which, I'm no leader. I'm a scout. I'm good at following orders, not giving them.
He doesn't know Rook. He couldn't predict anything Rook does. She's a wild card in all this. And with someone like him, a wild card is what we need. Varric knew that.
I'm so sorry I can't tell you any more right now. Maybe I will once we've got things a little more figured out. It's all a big huge mess at the moment. But I figured you at least deserved to know what happened. Rook would be the one writing you, if she could, but she’s barely had time to sleep or eat lately. So I asked if she wanted me to help out by writing for her. She says she misses you and Camila more than ever and wishes she could hug Brick right now.
Lace
To: Rook
From: Arri
Rook,
I have no idea what to say. Lace told me what happened. Or, as much as she could, anyway.
I'm so sorry about Varric. And I'm really scared for you. Please be safe. Please be okay. I know you don't need my worrying to add to your burden, but please take care of you.
Varric and I didn't talk much, but the letters he sent were kind. The fact he even bothered to write me and get to know me and send me books.... He seemed like a really good person. He didn't deserve that. No one deserves that. But him least of all.
Isabela is devastated. She'd never cry - at least, not in front of anyone - but Mateo told me she's been absent from the Hall the last few days. I'm not sure what to say to her, either.
Camila wants to send you some of her cardamom buns. She knows that's stupid, they'd be bricks by the time they got to you, but you know food is how she shows love. She doesn’t know what else to do.
I don't know how to do this. Shit.
I love you. Please be safe. Tell me what's going on when you can. Don't d
Love,
Arri