Work Text:
“Benji's deteriorating behaviour over the last week culminated in a paddling today due to insubordination…” Bill read aloud, raising an eyebrow. He didn't understand why it couldn't had just said that Benji got smacked at work for having an attitude. That would have been so much better. He knew the dom notes Bobby wrote, or he wrote if it was for Bobby, were much more straightforward. “What exactly did you do?”
“Apparently I was snapping at my colleagues and being grumpy. Being grumpy isn't a crime and I wasn't grumpy. He was grumpy.” Benji shook his head, rubbing his face. He was exhausted.
“You were paddled for being grumpy?” Bill had a feeling he just needed to call Benjis boss. Benji had been paddled at work maybe five times in the last ten years and usually those were guilt-based paddling.
Benji huffed, pulling away from his husband. “I might have said some rude things.” Luca had confronted him about his lack of sleep. He might have told Luca to mind his own fucking business.
“Oh? Rude enough to get you paddled?” Bill asked conversationally.
“Bill. Can’t you just smack me and be done?” Benji grumbled, rubbing his face again.
Yeah, they weren’t doing that. He was going to call Luca and find out what was going on. “No, you are going to go stand in the corner while I make a phone call and then we will talk.”
“Bill!” Benji snapped, grimacing when the other man grabbed his wrist and tugged him to the clear corner of their bedroom.
“Stay here, Ben.” Bill ordered, landing a pair of swats to his partner's bottom. He turned, grabbing his phone and heading to the kitchen. He needed to get bottles of water anyway.
He was not going to stay there. Benji was exhausted. He just wanted to get supper started, help Chris with his homework, and take a shower. He waited a minute to see if Bill was coming back before leaving the corner and going into their bathroom. He just wanted to take a hot shower. He didn't even care if Bill was mad at him for disobeying.
Bill sighed, coming back into their bedroom with a plate of snacks and two waters. The sound of the shower honestly didn't surprise him. Luca had told him what had happened, so he knew Benji was struggling. He should have noticed sooner. It should never have gotten this far.
He opened the bathroom door, watching his partner shower for a long moment. Or more accurately, Benji was leaning against the shower wall,eyes closed, just letting the water run over him. “Turn the water off, please.”
Benji groaned softly, not bothering to open his eyes. “I can't.” He couldn't force his body to move. He was exhausted and he just wanted to die.
Bill shrugged, grabbing one of their larger towels before reaching into the shower and turning the water off. He wrapped the towel around Benji before moving to lift the other man.
Benji pulled back, opening his eyes. “You aren't allowed to carry me right now. I weigh more than 20 lbs.” He offered Bill his hand instead, leaning against the other man when he took it. “I'm sorry.”
“I know love.” Bill gently maneuvered Benji to the bed, going to grab the other man some clean clothes. He studied Benji for a moment before removing the towel and quickly getting the other man dressed. He had picked his softest lounge clothes to put Benji in. While Bill's clothes were too big on Benji, that wasn't the point. “You're going to take a nap and then we will talk.”
“But-”
“This isn't an option, Ben. You are going to nap. I will take care of everything else.” Bill answered firmly, shaking his head.
Benji sighed softly, he needed to make dinner and he had so much to do. It was too late for a nap. But he also knew an order when he heard one. He went where Bill led, letting the other man tuck him into bed. “I'm sorry.” He was so exhausted that he didn't even want to move.
“We will talk about it later. For now, close your eyes.” Bill answered softly, turning the light off. He knew when Benji woke up they were going to have to talk. Benji wouldn't like it.
-c
“Absolutely not!” Benji snapped, glaring at Bill. He was fine!
“You've shown me, repeatedly, that if the choice is your health or someone else's, that you will always choose someone else. You cannot prioritize your wellbeing, so I am.” Bill answered firmly, raising an eyebrow at him. He honestly thought Benji needed him to reassert his control again, to take complete control. He knew the explosion had shaken Benji, he'll it had shaken him.
“I don't need this! I am fine! Just because Luca said- ow! Bill!” Benji whined, moving back out of swatting range.
“You aren't sleeping, you are working through your lunches again. You are snappy and combative. I should have noticed sooner and I apologize for that.” He patted the bed beside him, shaking his head when Benji continued to glare at him. “Do we need to revise our contract?”
“No!”
“Do you need to use your safewords?” Bill raised an eyebrow, studying his husband for a long moment.
Benji sighed, sulking over to sit beside Bill. “No sir. I just…I was doing so good being in control!” Benji knew he had pushed some when Eddie and Chris moved in full time but that was normal. He had been doing good. It didn't even matter that Bill was still technically in control. Benji had been handling things so much better.
“It's okay to need help, you know this. You worked so hard to get to this point but taking a step back isn't failure Ben. It's just a step back.” Bill needed to be in control just as much as Benji needed him to take control. Their problem had always been finding that delicate balance between control and autonomy.
Benji sighed, leaning into Bill’s side. “There is so much I have to do.”
“I understand that, I do. But you have to take care of yourself first. You will sleep and eat like you are supposed to. And we will go back to you kneeling every night. I know you've been staying up late in case Chris or Eddie has nightmares but that is going to stop. We will leave our bedroom door open so we can both hear them if need be.” Bill answered firmly, wrapping an arm around him. “And you will get my permission for anything outside normal day to day decisions.”
Benji groaned, burying his face in Bill's chest. “I'm not calling you at work to ask if I can go to the store or take Chris to the museum.”
“Would you like to have to ask permission to eat and sleep? Because we can do that again if necessary.” Bill shook his head, gently tugging Benji’s chin up so he had to look at him.
“I hate you.” Benji pulled his head away, wrapping his arms around himself and leaning away from Bill.
“No sir, we aren't doing this. You are not going to be cruel because you aren't getting your way. I will have Allison sub-sit you again if you continue down that path.” Bill warned, studying his partner for a moment.
Benji whined, shaking his head. He didn't need that. He was fine! “No thank you.” He knew Bill was serious but he hated that. He didn't want to be with any dom but Bill. Benji knew what he needed but he didn't want it!
“Talk to me, Ben.”
He whined, shaking his head. Benji couldn't make decisions right now. He couldn't talk about it but he just couldn't make decisions. He didn't want to ask permission for things because he still had to make decisions. “Please.”
Bill sighed, studying his partner for a moment. He knew what he was asking him for and while they could do it, he also knew Benji well enough that a few days was usually enough before benji wanted to start taking control again. “I think you need me to make decisions for a while and that's alright, love. We can do that. When you are ready to make decisions again, we will discuss it.” The last time he had to make decisions for Benji, it had taken months of work on both their parts. Because if Bill took control like this, there was a reason for it. There was something else going on with Benji that they needed to sort out first.
Benji whimpered,closing his eyes for a moment before carefully crawling into Bill's lap space. He needed to be held. He knew he had practically asked for this and Benji knew he could make it stop immediately if he wanted but he needed it. He hated himself for needing it but he did.
“I got you, sweetheart. I got you. We're going to cuddle for a bit and then we will handle the trouble you got in at work today.” As much as Bill didn't want to, he knew they had to. Otherwise Benji would just keep spiraling. “And then we are going to talk about what caused this.”
Benji cuddled against his husband, closing his eyes. He really didn't want to talk about what had caused this. But he was a psychologist, he knew he needed to talk about it. He also knew he could talk to his colleagues about it and that was probably what he would end up doing. “The explosion.”
“Ben-”
“You could have died, Bill. Terry did almost died. I need you here. I can't lose you.”Benji stated finally, tilting his head back to catch Bill's eyes. He pressed into the soft kiss, pressing closer to his husband.
“I'm not going anywhere. Instead of spiraling on your own, you should have talked to me.” Bill answered quietly, kissing the other man again before shifting him. He was right, Benji needed him to reassert his control to help him feel settled. “I'm going to paddle you for getting in trouble at work and then we will cuddle some more. Get the lexan for me please.”
He hated the lexan. It wasn't the harshest implement they owned but he did hate it. Benji finished slid off the bed, retrieving the lexan from their punishment shelf before snorting. “Next time you need to paddle Eddie, just make him fetch something from here.” The poor kid would be so overwhelmed and embarrassed.
“I'm just going to get a family paddle next time I go to the implement depot.” Bill shrugged, taking the lexan when his partner offered it to him.
“Without me?” Benji loved going to the depot, there was always a new toy he wanted to try.
He held his hand out to his partner, gently tugging Benji over his lap. “Depends on how much trouble Eddie manages to get himself in.” Bill shook his head, baring Benji and eyeing the dusty red bottom for a moment. His bottom was red enough still that he didn't need to warm it up with his hand first. He tapped Benji's bottom with the lexan before smacking it down.
He yelped, trying to keep his legs still. Benji was well aware that Bill didn't care how much noise he made, so he didn't bother being quiet. Their room was soundproof for a reason. Benji moved his hand back, not to block but to hold Bill's hand.
Bill smiled softly, catching Benji's hand with his free one and squeezing it. “When you are feeling out of control, you tell me. You don't misbehave at work.” He started targeting Benji's thighs and sit spots, turning them a darker red than his bottom. “You need me to take control again and that is perfectly okay. I got you Ben. Just let go.”
Benji sobbed, relaxing over his husband's knee. He knew it was going to be a rough few days, he always fought it at first, even though they both knew it was exactly what he needed.