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Why was she still here?
She was standing to the side, along the one of the walls of the giant room.
She wanted to leave and go somewhere quiet away from all the people.
Azula was attending a ball hosted by Zuko. Dignitaries from all the four nations were attending, and as the Crown Princess of the Fire Nation, she had to be there as well.
Just because she was supposed to attend the event, it didn’t mean that she wanted to.
After coming back to the palace from the institution, Azula quickly realized that she hated attending the social events that Zuko hosted. Not that she used to like them much either, but now they were even worse.
These events were so much simpler before, it was about maintaining the devotion and loyalty of the people under her, it was politics and manipulation. She was good at that, and that had made her father pleased.
It also helped that the Fire Nation nobles used to stumble over each other and themselves in an attempt to gain favor with her, the Heir to the Fire Lord, she used to be adored, respected and feared. She had found it amusing seeing the nobles make fools of themselves in order to impress her, it had made these events much more bearable.
It became much worse when she returned to the palace after the war. Even though she no longer had the pressure of needing to impress her father, she still felt like she was under constant scrutiny. It was like she constantly had to prove to everyone that she was no longer the crazy, evil, war mongering princess anymore. She was trying to be better, but it was like everyone just saw the person she used to be.
She was also no longer adored and respected, mostly she was just feared now. Fire Nation nobles still managed to be polite and respectful towards her, but it was clear that they preferred to avoid her, while the water tribe dignitaries barely managed to conceal their fear for her, and the earth kingdom added barely concealed hate with the fear.
She usually spent most of her time with either Zuko, Mai or Ty Lee during these events. Zuko for some reason had never given up on her after the war, and after some time they managed to forgive and reconcile with each other. She also managed to reconcile and become friends again with Mai and Ty Lee, proper friends this time. But all of them are currently off doing something else, Zuko and Mai as the Fire Lord and Fire Lady are off entertaining some the nobles and dignitaries, and Ty Lee went off with her Kyoshi warrior friends.
Ty Lee had offered her to join them, but the rest of the Kyoshi warriors didn’t really like Azula, which she figured was fair enough after what she had done to them during the war.
It was unfortunate that the blind earth bender was not in attendance this time, Azula actually enjoyed her company, and they had somewhat become friends. Toph didn’t much like these kinds of events either, but they could have been not enjoying this ball together, now she was just not enjoying it all by herself.
The water tribe siblings were in attendance, but she really didn’t want to interact with them more than necessary, and they seemed to share that attitude. The water tribe male (was Sukkus his name?), was nice enough, he didn’t hold a grudge against her for too long, but they were not friends with each other, and even though they could work together now, their interactions with each other were stilted and forced.
Where the water tribe male (maybe it was sok?) lacked much hate for her, the water bender had enough for both, and the feeling was mutual. Everyone had learned quickly that Azula and the water bender could not be left alone in a room together. At this point they had both accepted that they would occasionally be in the same space and had learned to be civil to each other. Azula still remember the first time the water bender had visited after Azula had returned to the palace, most of the palace had overheard her private conversation/screaming session she had at both Zuko and the Avatar.
And then there was the Avatar (or Aang, as he preferred, she’d call him), she didn’t have any problem with him, in fact she really enjoyed his company, too much in fact. Other than Zuko, it was Aa-The Avatar who visited her the most while she was in the institution, she would probably still have been in there if it wasn’t for him helping her. Not only had he provided her with more kindness and patience than she taught anyone capable, but he is also the one that convinced Zuko that she was ready to return home.
Why Aa- The Avatar had been so willing to be there for her at the worst time in her life, she would never understand. She doesn’t think she deserved all the kindness he provided and still provide towards her; on the other hand, he would probably disagree with that thought. Somehow the person that had temporally died from her lightning strike, was also the person that had put the most effort of anyone towards helping her.
What baffled her even more was that even after she had been released, he continued to spend a lot of time with her. She was of course happy that he did, but she found it hard to believe that he would enjoy her company this much, but apparently, he did. He always found excuses to spend with her, whether it was asking for help or advice on diplomatic matters, sparring, sitting with her during dinner or insisting that she come with him when he went to do anything fun.
Azula accepted more and more of his invitations, and she found that enjoyed spending time with him a lot. When spending time with him, she didn’t feel the pressure of needing to be perfect or proving that she wasn’t crazy, and he didn’t fear her. It was …. freeing.
The problem arose when she realized that she was enjoying her time with him too much. She couldn’t think straight around him anymore. Azula was reluctant to think too much about why that was, out of fear for what the reason was. But when she noticed how relived she was after finding out that Aan- The Avatar was not in a relationship with the water bender, she had to admit that she was feeling more than friendship towards the Avatar.
She had to put a stop to this, because Aan-The Avatar couldn’t possibly return her feelings. They had become friends yes, but he couldn’t have any more feelings than that towards a person like her, she chased him and his friends across the earth kingdom, her ancestors were directly responsible for the death of his people, and she killed him once!
If she continued on this, she would make a fool out of herself. That is why she is currently hiding in the corners of the room trying to find a good path away from this ball. She was so occupied with finding a way out that she didn’t notice the light steps coming up behind her.
“Princess”
Azula was startled but hid it well as she turned around to face him.
“Avatar”
She could see on the amusement of his smile that she didn’t hide it well enough.
“Would the princess dine a humble Avatar with a dance”
“Abnormally formal you are today, Avatar”
She could see the glint in his eyes as he smiled.
“I just thought you would like the more formal approach since you always are obsessed with formality. But anyway, will you come and dance with me Azula?”
She really did want to, but…
“I am not much of a dancer, Avatar.”
“Come on Azula, it will be fun, … Please?”
She had already been vulnerable with him before. What’s one more confession?
She looked away from him and lowered her voice.
“I don’t really know how to dance”
Which is true, she wanted to go, but she didn’t know how to dance, and she was not going to make an even bigger fool of herself, these feelings for the Avatar were already bad enough.
“Don’t worry Azula. It’s not that hard, just follow my lead, and you’ll be fine. Trust me.”
He was still smiling at her, one of those big dumb smiles that he always gives her. It made her heart flutter.
“I-I don’t know Avatar, I- “
“Just trust me, I’ll make sure that you will not embarrass yourself. Just relax and follow my lead, you can trust me”
He held his hand out to her, he smiled at her, and she could see in his eyes that he was genuine, he meant what he said.
Slowly, she reached out her hand and took his.
“Lead the way, Avatar”
He grabbed her hand back and lead her to the middle of the dancefloor.
Azula noticed that a lot of people gave them looks, some outright started to stare at them. Most people didn’t know about the friendship that had formed between the princess and the Avatar. They were probably surprised seeing the kind and benevolent Avatar lead the cruel and evil princess of the fire nation, out on the dancefloor.
They were looking at her, judging her. Now she had to dance well, she couldn’t let them see her embarrass herself on the dancefloor.
Aan- The Avatar didn’t seem to notice them; he was looking at her and smiling.
“Ready?”
“I am already out here with you, Avatar. Of course I am ready.”
They started to dance along with the music.
It seemed dancing came easy to the Avatar, for Azula not so much.
She was trying to imitate what she had seen others do, but her movements felt stiff and rigid, something she wasn’t used to feeling. But she was going to get it, she would not show weakness to all nobles that her looking over at her and Aan- The Avatar.
Unfortunately, the harder she tried to force herself to dance well, the worse her dancing became.
“You are stressing too much princess; it is making you rigid. Just relax and follow my lead”
How could she not stress, everyone was judging her, waiting for her to fail.
“Maybe you should just try to follow my lead Avatar. You are messing up my dancing.”
“I am trying, but it would be easier if you just relaxed a bit.”
“Try harde- “
She managed to stumble in her own feet, and now she was falling. But before she even could think about that all the people judging her would see her fall on the dancefloor, Aan- the Avatar caught her and made complicated move that included spinning her around, but eventually she ended up back on her feet. From an outside view, the whole movement looked intentional and well executed.
Azula was left a bit dizzy after the move, but Aang… the Avatar was holding her closer and continued the dance.
“I told you that you could trust me. As I have said, just relax and follow my lead and it will be fine.”
When she looked up at him, she saw that he was smirking at her, clearly amused that the usually precise and elegant Azula managed to stumble in her own feet, but he wasn’t judging her.
She found it hard to respond to him as she looked into his kind eyes.
“…”
“Don’t worry about the people watching, just ignore them. It’s just us, you and me dancing together. Relax, let loose and have fun.”
As she looked into Aang’s eyes, she started to relax.
“Okay, I can try that. Lead the way Aang.”
As they continued to dance, Azula started to relax, she let Aang lead the dance, and she followed. As she continued to dance with Aang, she stopped noticing the people watching them, and she forgot that they were there. It was just her and Aang, dancing together.
She couldn’t help but smile. Of course, Aang smiled back as well, he looked at her with such fondness, it made her heart flutter. For a while, her doubts disappeared, maybe Aang could love someone like her, maybe he could love her.
Aang started to pick up the pace and difficulty as Azula got more into to the flow and rhythm of the dancing. She was somehow able to keep up with him despite her lack of experience, if that was due to her ability to pick up skills or to his guidance, she didn’t know.
She was certain of one thing though, she was in fact, enjoying herself very much. As she danced around with Aang, laughter started to escape from her lips. She probably looked like a fool, but it didn’t matter in that moment since soon enough, Aang’s laughter joined hers, and they laughed together as they danced.
The music from the song that had been playing started to die down, and they slowed down their dancing and eventually stopped the dance. For a moment they just stood there looking at each other. Azula didn’t want this to end, she wanted to keep dancing with Aang.
“Care for another dance…Aang” Azula asked the question while the music for the next song started to play.
“I was just about to ask you the same thing” He replied with a light tone.
They continued to dance together; they lost track of time as they danced through multiple songs. She didn’t really notice herself growing tired, but it was beginning to catch up to her.
“Wanna get out of her for a bit?” Aang asked her. As he asked her that, it made her notice how tired she was getting.
“Yes, good idea. Follow me this way then”
Aang stopped her as she was about to start to move towards the exit.
“Nah, we should out go this way instead” He insisted.
“That just leads to the Balcony, its technically outside, but I wouldn’t really call that getting out of her.”
“But you forget that I am an Airbender”
Aang took her hand and lead her towards the balcony before she had time to think about the implications of that statement. She didn’t need to think about it because as soon as they got out on the balcony, Aang took a hold of her and lifted her up.
“Excuse me” Aang said jokingly.
Her only respond that she was able to make in her surprise was an undignified yelp.
Aang didn’t give her time for a proper respond as he lifted of the balcony, but instead of moving down towards the ground they moved up. Aang jumped from balcony to balcony and other ledges as they traversed up the Palace. Before she knew it, she was on her feet again when they had reached the roof on the top of the Palace.
She tried to say something, some witty comeback about his audacity, but she was speechless for the moment. She should be mad at him, but she wasn’t. She felt the heat in her face as her blood rushed up. It was clear that Aang was amused, looking at her with his smug grin, he knew exactly what he did.
“What? Lost your tongue princess? I thought talking was one of your strong suits.”
“I-I a-am very capable of s-speaking, thank you very much. I-I am just shocked a-at your audacity Aan-Avatar, I am a princess you know, y-you can’t just toss me around.” She turned sideways, crossed her arms and huffed, trying to act annoyed, but her face was still blood red.
“Apologies, I was not aware that the Princess did not like surprises, I will act accordingly next time.” He did a bow, but his grin just turned smugger. “But I supposed this can count as revenge for our last spar.”
“You know dam well that, that was my revenge for the last time you surprised me!”
“Should I look forward to your coming revenge then”
“Yes, you should- no I mean-you should not look forward to it. Arrrrhhg” Her face was just getting redder.
Aang tried to hold in his laughter, but to no avail as he started laughing. “Sorry Azula, but you just are so cute when you are flustered like this.”
“I’m not cute!” Her face might just never go back to its normal color.
“Yes, you are.”
“Am not”
“Okay, agree to disagree” He tried to placate her. He was still laughing a bit, but she knew there were no ill will in it, he was just being friendly.
She just huffed. She tried but couldn’t stay at annoyed at him. She was actually enjoying these conversations with him, he was the only one that comfortable with talking and bantering like that with her, everyone else just walked on eggshells around her.
As they calmed down, she noticed how close they were to each other, standing on the roof together under the evening sky.
“So why did you bring me up her anyway?” She continued their conversation, so that she could ignore that observation.
“Well, I wanted some privacy with you, and I wanted to show you the view from up her, I assume you never been up her before.”
“It would have been unproper for the princess to go around climbing on the Palace roofs.” She chose to focus on the last part of his Statement.
“So, what do you think about the view?”
“It is not too bad” she said, but she had to admit, it was a nice view, she could see all of the capitol from the roof, the Palace was also tall enough that she could see over the lower parts of the mountain walls of the Caldera. But she would not gosh about the view like Ty Lee would have done.
“Just not to bad, huh? Is nothing good enough for you to give more of a response or are just pretending to be nonchalant?”
“What!? I am not pretending at anything. Maybe I am just harder to impress.” She crossed her arms and huffed.
“Oh, I think you do. You always school your awed expression before you think anyone has seen it, and then you act unimpressed.”
“Oh, so nothing gets passed the great Avatar?” she retorted back.
“Nothing that you do at least” Aang answered back.
“What makes me so special then, that nothing I do gets passed you, or have I just lost my touch?” She said back. She was starting to feel flustered again.
“No, you haven’t lost your touch. It is just hard to take my eyes of you” he said back without thought.
“Careful Avatar, people might think you are trying to court me talking like that” Azula said back. Aang was starting to sound way to romantic, but I couldn’t possibly be meaning that, considering who he was talking to.
“Maybe I am” he simply he replied back without skipping a beat.
“…What?” She found it hard to respond to what he just said, he was joking right.
He chuckled a bit. “It’s funny, you are the smartest person I know, but you are still able to be so oblivious sometimes.” He said as he took both of her hands in his. “I don’t know how you haven’t noticed yet, but I like you Azula… I-I think I Love you; I want to be more than friends, I really do”
“You are joking, you can’t possibly be feeling like that about m- “
“Azula I am not joking; I wouldn’t lie about this to you.” As she looked into those genuine eyes of his, she knew that he wasn’t lying.
“But-… But how? How can you possibly think you can love someone like-… like me?” Her voice was shaking, water filled up in her eyes threatening to leave.
“You are not as hard to love as you think.” He replied back softly.
“I killed you!” She burst out. “I-I am a monster.” Her whole body was shaking.
Suddenly Aang embraced her in a hug. Before she even could think about it, Azula hugged him back. “You are not a monster Azula. What you have done in the past does not define you, you are not the same person anymore.” She didn’t have words to say back at that moment. Aang continued “Azula, you have grown so much as a person. You have worked so hard to get better, but you were never truly a monster.”
“But-But…” She was struggling to say anything.
“No buts, you have come so far from the person you used to be, we can’t change what happened in the past, but you don’t need to let it define the rest of your life.” He said calmly, but firmly.
“You should be hating me!” She yelled back.
He let go of the hug to look into her eyes, but he was still holding his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t hate you, in fact, I think… I think I love you, no… I know that I love you.”
“You’re… You’re lying” she said that, but she didn’t really believe that. She noticed how close their faces were to each other
“I am not lying, I am speaking the truth, you can trust me on this.” As she looked into his eyes, she could see that he was sincere.
Trust? She never really had put much confidence in trust before, she used to think it was for fools. But for some reason she trusted Aang. There was just something about, she knew he would never purposefully try to hurt her. She could trust Aang.
“But you can’t trust me though.” He couldn’t, no one can trust her.
“I think I can” Aang replied back instantly
“How can you be so sure.” How can he not just forgive, but somehow also trust her.
“Call it avatar intuition. I just know it ok?” He replied easily. Every time he spoke, he was convincing her a little more.
“But what if you are wrong?” She still didn’t fully believe it though.
“I don’t think I am.” He was still steadfast.
“B-But what if?” even as she asked it her doubts were fading more and more. Their faces were slowly inching towards each other.
“I am willing to take that risk” he said half jokingly in a low voice as he gently guided her chin with his fingers.
As their lips touched, she trusted that he was right.