Chapter Text
It had always been ‘Jackie and Shauna’ the two had been inseparable for as long as anyone could remember. They had met in early elementary school, sharing crayons and construction paper before it became secrets and boyfriends. Shauna and Jackie spent every waking moment together. Walking to class, hanging out, sleepovers, parties, partners in class etc. Shauna always chose Jackie, and Jackie always chose Shauna. Whenever Shauna needed anyone, Jackie was there; with open arms to comfort the girl- or at least that was until Jackie had started dating Jeff. It wasn’t Jackie’s fault necessarily, Shauna understood…at first.
When early freshman year rolled around and Jackie told Shauna she liked Jeff, Shauna felt her stomach twist. Was Jackie going to leave her? Was there time spent together, over? Was Jackie going to forget about Shauna? She mostly tried to push these feelings down and away instead of asking such overbearing questions.
“Okay but I don’t want him to know that I like him” Jackie says, holding her hands between her legs, legs crossed on her bed while the two talk. Shauna writes down the information she has to ask Randy, to ask Jeff for Jackie.
“Wait you like-like him?Jackie, why didn’t you tell me!” Shauna says enthusiastically yet a little hurt.
The two giggle as they continue to jot down the conversation.
Ever since that moment, everything had centered around Jeffery.
‘Oh I can’t sorry Shauna, Jeff and I are going out tonight’
‘Aww Shauna I’d love to sleepover but Jeff asked me to-‘
‘That sounds like so much fun! I’d so come but Jeff and I actually are going-‘
After A While, Shauna had gotten used to it, though the anger was still rapid burning. Her fury and rage only intensified as the two girls spent their high school years apart rather than together as Shauna intended them to.
Shauna knew she was always a jealous person, even when they were younger; Jackie had things Shauna hadn’t and she envied her for that. Jackie’s hair, her eyes, her touch, her smell, she was incredibly likeable which made Shauna despise her even more deep down; and Guys? Oh they liked her and girls wanted to be her, what was more to want?
The first time Shauna found herself with Jeff was shortly after a party, running from the cops. Jackie had escape with Van and Tai, Shauna ended up stranded but thankfully Jeff grabbed her wrist and they ran together.
The rough branches hit Shauna’s face as the tall blonde boy holds her wrist- dragging her along. The leaves beneath her feet crunching, her sandals collecting the debris from the ground. The two reach a safe area far from the house, Jeff leans over out of breath- panting gazing up at Shauna- also panting.
Shauna reaches down pulling him up- she pushes up against the tree next to Mari’s house fence.
“Shauna.” Jeff says breathlessly. Shauna looks to his eyes, then to his lips, back to his eyes.
She pushes her tongue into his mouth; recalling earlier how Jackie had been kissing him. She could almost taste Jackie- sweet, vanilla, Jackie. Jackie. Shauna’s brows furrowed as Jeff’s hands traveled across her body; exploring. He pulls the bikini string that had once held up Shauna’s bottoms. Jackie’s bikini bottoms.
After the first time, Shauna found herself hooking up with Jeff quite often.
In school, if possible, right before third period- Jeff would shut his locker, glance over to Shauna whose locker was diagonal from his. The two would make eye contact, where Jeff would kiss Jackie goodbye then head to ‘lunch’ meanwhile Shauna would head to the library. Jeff would soon head there once everyone makes it to the third period. Shauna would give him a quick blowjob and or, handjob in the back copy room; before he’d grope her and go on his merry way to lunch.
Shauna knew it was fucked up, yet she couldn’t bring herself to stop.
She knew exactly how to ensure Jackie would never find out, she always avoided Jeff. His stare, his comments, his presence. If she was able to avoid jeffery; she’d take that route. She didn’t really like being around Jeff in general so ignoring him was easy, but after seeing Jackie practically eat his face- and having one too many drinks, he suddenly didn’t seem that bad. Shauna was never initially attracted to Jeff, but something about Jackie having him- or him having Jackie was intriguing to a young Shauna.
Jackie Taylor had always adored her best friend, even from a very young age she cared for Shauna. Such a deep bond that no other friend could replicate. If Shauna and Jackie had a disagreement, Jackie was ill- the silent treatment was the worst and unfortunately a moody Shauna would always go mute. Jackie couldn’t stand her beautiful, big brown eyed best friend being upset at her. When Jackie decided she wanted to play soccer for their high school, Shauna was a little unsure about the idea but with a little convincing from the honey blonde, she obliged.
Jackie had always gotten her way.
Shauna would eventually fold, Jackie didn’t have to do much. She’d just suggest something then get a little snippy with Shauna. Not on purpose just a little “I don’t care Shauna do whatever you want” but then go hangout with Mari and glance over to Shauna- making sure the brown eyed girl was staring. Jackie knew how to irk Shauna, make her jealous in all the right ways-
When they’d go to parties, Jackie would go with Jeff enjoying the time spent with her boyfriend. She’d always encourage Shauna to go have fun at said parties, but she’d always end up in a corner, staring at Jackie. Although weird, Jackie always just jotted the behavior up to her feeling ‘left out’ and never questioned much more.
She never wanted to upset Shauna on purpose, but she couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied if Shauna was staring. Especially when Jeff's hands wandered Jackie's body, eager to feel Jackie.
Although Jeff was her boyfriend, Jackie found herself finding any excuse in the book not to have sex with the guy.
‘I’m on my period’
‘I’m not ready’
‘It’s too soon’ Jackie would say, as if they haven’t been together for the entirety of her high school - soccer career. Deep down she knew, it was because Jeff wasn’t gentle, he wasn’t soft, he wasn’t a certain brown eyed girl whom Jackie would be able to melt into whenever she felt doubt.
Jeff had become impatient; when Shauna pushed herself onto him, he obliged. He had always noticed Shauna, not in the way Jackie did, reading her like a book. He noticed her breasts, and her ass grew as time went on. Her face is less innocent but still maintaining the ‘doe eyes’ which always had Jackie in a chokehold. Jeff would go on a date with Jackie, try to get into her pants, once she’d say no and only agree to oral, he’d drop her off and head to her best friends house.
He’d climb up the white fence and use the rocks around Shauna’s garden to catch her attention. She’d open the window, glance down and allow him to come inside.
It’s history from there, a deep secret that Shauna prayed Jackie wouldn’t find out. She had always ensured Jackie couldn’t possibly find out, or at least that was until senior year of 1996. The Yellowjackets had an amazing season, scoring goals almost every game.
———————————————
Present day
The Yellowjackets girls soccer team crowded the girls locker room, clothing littered the floor, the air filled with a mixture of sweat and perfume.
They danced and sang along to their favorite songs, this was a typical ‘pre-practice ritual’ it also eased their nerves.. Every girl was feeling the pressure and anxiety. The girls had won their last game, this meant they were leaving for nationals tomorrow.
“Lottie, can you fix this?” Laura-Lee asked the tall brunette who started to touch the tag on the blonde girls soccer jersey.
Natalie stood by her locker rummaging through something, van stood nearby talking to the stressed girl - probably about some movie she had seen. Tai and Shauna were talking…about something, Jackie couldn’t quite put her finger on it; but Tai had a weird smirk and Shauna’s brows were furrowed. Soon enough, the other girls joined Tai and Shauna - to see what they had been discussing.
Jackie left right before that, she didn’t care enough and just wanted to get practice over with. She had a party to attend later.
The girls gather on the field. They split into ‘teams’ Allie, who Tai views as a ‘liability’ is on the same team from the girls. Tai walks up to coach, she then is removing her jersey putting on the other color.
“Cmon JV, Tai wants to see you step it up!”
‘What the fuck is she doing’
The team captain wonders to herself as she watches her teammate switch teams during the scrimmage. As the girls play, kicking the ball, scoring and making passes. Taissa steps it up - she continues to target Allie. In an attempt to kick the ball from her, Tai slides in; feet first into Allie shin. Allie drops to the ground; screaming, as she holds her leg, with a large bone protruding from under her skin. The other girls rush around to help her, Misty trying to help but ultimately hurting the girl more.
“Maybe it’s not as bad as it looked?” Jackie suggests trying to try and ease the tension.
“You could see her fucking bone Jackie” nat says scoffing.
“Oh my god- I’m gonna be sick” van says, covering her mouth and leaning over.
As the locker room clears out, Jackie heads back to her house to get ready for the party. She had to be at Shauna’s for 6, Jeff was picking them up at 8. This was a typical routine the girls’ would follow the night of a party - or at least what Jackie would want them to do before a party.
Jackie carefully chose a simple dress with a jacket to go over it in case the spring night got chilly. She made her way to Shauna’s, who had no idea what to wear.
“What do you think?” Shauna asked, turning to face herself in the mirror. The skirt and dark top was very Shauna, but Jackie shook her head.
“No way” she says; she leans back, her posture sinking into the bed.
“Well I don’t know then-“ Shauna says, throwing her hands up in desperation. She glances over to the red dress she knows Jackie is going to suggest. She grabs it and holds it against her body in the mirror - imagining herself in such a provocative dress; something she knows Jackie would approve of.
“Yes, that’s definitely the one Shauna.” Jackie says, standing up and walking slowly towards Shauna - she places her hands on her girls shoulders. “The boob dress” she says chuckling, she releases her grip and heads back to Shauna’s bed.
Shauna can’t help but feel flustered - not only did Jackie call it ‘the boob dress’ but she touched Shauna’s shoulders, gripping and holding them tight. Shauna wonders if she holds Jeff’s shoulders like that when they’re kissing-
“Okay put the dress on, I want to see it on you” Jackie says, smiling at Shauna who turns away immediately walking towards the closet to slip on the tight, red fabric.
She slips her legs into the dress, pulling it up her body, having to maneuver her hips. The dress hugs her body perfectly, every curve exemplified from the tight fabric. Her tits bursting out the too small dress. The back just had to be zipped.
“Help me?” Shauna says walking out towards Jackie - who can’t keep
her eyes off of Shauna in the red dress. She stands up, dragging her hands down Shauna’s back - Shauna shudders from the interaction of the girl's finger tips. She gets a good grip on the zipper, her other hand against Shauna’s back. “All set” Jackie says, sliding her hands back down Shauna’s back, then putting them by her side.
The two stand in silence facing one another. Until they hear a horn honk.
“Oh let’s go Jeff is here” Jackie says. They head to Jeff’s car, Jackie opens up the front door placing herself inside. Once both girl’s inside, Jackie greets Jeff with a kiss and a small hug. Shauna can’t help but feel the hair on her body stand. The tingling sensation all throughout her body - she bites her tongue and stares out the window watching the trees as they pass.
Once Arrived at the party….
Shauna finds herself headed towards the cheap beer, grabbing herself a big cup of it. This is what usually happens - Shauna finds herself a drink, gets extremely drunk and watches Jackie practically procreate with her boyfriend.
Meanwhile the captain of the girls soccer team stood nearby her boyfriend and his friends. Cup in hand and joint in the other; she inhales and exhales twirling with the song. Her boyfriend against his vehicle watching the honey blonde in awe. Although he wasn’t the only person watching.
Shauna bitterly stood not too far away, watching the same scene. A happy, heterosexual, popular girl with her perfectly blonde - jock boyfriend. Shauna felt guilty for feeling this way. She didn’t understand why the minute a drop of alcohol or pot entered her system, she found herself watching Jackie and Jeff like her life depended on it.
As the party went on, Shauna found herself smoking a joint with none other than Nat and Lottie. A weird combination of people but nonetheless she tried to ignore her questions.
“Girl trouble?” Nat says laughing before Lottie pushes her slightly.
“Nat!” Lottie says playfully.
“What I was curious? And obvious there’s something going on-“ Nat tries to get out before Lottie shoves her once again.
“Something is going on with me?” Shauna asks, her brows furrowed and her eyes glossy.
“I mean you and Jackie” nat says - inhaling before exhaling more of her chronic.
“Oh- what? I mean that’s my best friend. I don’t know what you’re talking about. You should mind your own business.” Shauna says out with hatred burning in her stomach. She assumes Natalie must’ve seen her sneak to a bathroom with Jeff. Fuck she thought she had been more careful.
“Woah okay Shauna no need to get all offended. Listen, I don't care what’s going on with you and Jackie. You guys just need to be chill for nationals. Or else Tai is gonna flip. You saw what happened with Allie” she says, inhaling then handing the joint to Lottie.
“We’re fine.” Shauna says taking one more hit before Jackie comes rushing outside interrupting them.
“Okay this is weird…but shipman c’mon we have to go. I’m gonna miss curfew” Jackie says - her face showing what she wants to say about Shauna’s choice of friends.
Shauna rolls her eyes. She hands the joint back to Lottie who giggles quietly to nat. The two girls walk away- Jeff stands by the car waiting.
On the drive Shauna rolls down her window. She sticks her head out and allows the cool spring air to hit her face. Shauna knew how this usually goes. At this point Jackie will ask Jeff to be taken home first, she’ll leave the car, kissing him goodbye; then she’ll head inside. Leaving Shauna alone with the man who has Jackie written all over him. His smell, his touch, his taste…it’s all reminiscent of Jackie.
Jackie leans over to Jeff, kissing his neck then pressing her lips against his.
“Drop me off first okay? You know how my parents are” Jackie expresses, as she turns around to face a cross-faded Shauna.
“See you tomorrow?” Jackie says, offering a small smile then exiting the car. The two girls get out, switching seats, Shauna wraps her arms around Jackie’s neck, pulling her into an embrace Jackie can’t resist. Shauna inhales, all she can smell, think and breathe is Jackie.
“Love you” Shauna says, she was used to Jackie not saying it back. Jackie returns the hug, offering a small smile then walking up to her house.
Shauna sits in the front seat next to her best friend's boyfriend, she stares out the window as her beautiful friend struts towards her home.
Shauna knew she was about to make the same mistake she had made for the past four months after every party. Jeff begins driving slowly down Jackie’s road, a little further down entering Tai’s neighborhood; Shauna feels her stomach turn. Jackie’s hands on Jeff, on his chest…his neck…. Her lips against his. All she could smell was the lingering aroma of her friend.
“Jeff pullover” the dark haired girl says.
“Oh Shauna, are you gonna puke in my car? Please don’t puke in my car Shauna” the poor boy stutters out before Shauna sits there staring at him. She gives him her big brown eyes, he knows exactly what she wants. Him. Well at least that’s what Jeff wants to think. As Shauna pushes herself against him. Their lips smashing together.
“I thought we weren’t doing this again?” Jeff asks pulling away from
the desperate girl.
“We’re not…again” Shauna says, pulling him towards her one more time, pushing her mouth against his. She kisses him hungrily, tasting Jackie vanilla lipgloss on him. She could consume him whole right here. She kisses him aggressively, pulling his lips with her teeth sucking on them. Borderline drawing blood before she pulls away, slipping her panties to the side. Jeff pulls out his cock, Shauna grabs it, shoving it inside her. She bites down ignoring the slight pain before grinding against him- wrapping her arms around his neck and riding him. She kissed and sucked on the spot Jackie had left on his neck; only deepening the already pink hickey. Shauna sped up faster riding his cock hoping for some release from her best friend, although this entire interaction surrounded Jackie- Shauna wasn’t about to face that right now. Instead she rode her best friend's boyfriend, in the backseat of his car- picturing only Jackie.
“Say you love me…I won’t hold you to it just say it okay?” Shauna begs with the guy, she continues to ride, pressing closer and against his chest with her hands. She wonders if Jackie does this when they makeout? Shauna knew just about everything they had done in their relationship due to Jackie sharing, but Shauna couldn’t help but crave to be on that same level with Jackie.
“I love you Shauna” Jeff says repeatedly as the two ride out their orgasm. Shauna moans out as she cums-
Her only thought…Jackie.
Shauna adjusted herself, as Jeff started to drive to her house. The two didn’t speak another word the entire way. Shauna felt gross and weirdly unsatisfied. When she got home, she showered right away scrubbing her skin from any lingering remains of Jeff. The girl laid in her bed, pulling out her journal and writing away. She couldn’t stop; it was like her mind and hand connection was unmatched for anything else.
May 27th 1996,
I did it again. It was after a typical party, one which Jackie ignored me and I ended up smoking with Lott and Nat. Pretty sure they’re together but that’s not my issue right now. I fucked Jeff again. Jackie got out of the car, her smell all over him, her vanilla lip gloss coating his upper and bottom lip, the hickey on the right side of his neck. It was like Jackie was leaving crumbs of her on him for me. She consumes me entirely. I don’t understand why, she’s my best friend yet I can’t help but envy her. Everything about Jackie has always been so perfect, ever since I met her. I just need her to know she isn’t all that perfect. Fucking her boyfriend wasn’t the best way to go…and I know that. But it's too late. This is the fourth or fifth time I’ve hooked up with Jeff after a party. It’s become a ritual now, just like Jackie coming to my house before any party has always been. It’s just sickening. The way she touches him in front of me- the way she kisses him. It’s nauseating.
I don’t like Jeff or anything, he’s just so easy and accessible. We leave for nationals tomorrow, I can’t imagine what I’d do if Jackie found out about this. But I’m not worried. She isn’t the smartest I doubt she’ll find out.
Shauna closes her journal, she places her suitcase and carry on bag near her bedroom door before laying down to attempt and ease her mind.
———————
5:37 am
Shauna slowly blinked her eyes open, she glanced over at the clock - the flight was for 9am but the team wanted to meet prior to grabbing some quick breakfast. She slowly got up, getting herself together; brushing her teeth, showering, putting on her favorite flannel before heading to Nat’s house before Jackie’s. Although uneasy about the long flight, Shauna proceeded to the blonde's house to ease her nerves.
Once arrived at Nat’s, she watched her slip out the front door of her trailer; Nat glances around before stepping into Shauna’s car.
“I got five pre rolls, we smoke one here then I’ll take the rest with us on the flight. We can always sneak away to chief” Nat says before chuckling and lighting the joint in her hand. Shauna nods before taking it from Nat and inhaling. She felt all her nerves creeping away, that was until she looked at the clock which read 6:30, she knew she had to be at Jackie’s but the thought of facing her sweet best friend made her stomach churn. Shauna wasn’t innocent, but she knew that- she knew her actions would cause Jackie to tear her apart , metaphorically, Jackie was never the physical altercation type. Unlike Shauna, who was known for causing arguments when drunk - even not drunk she has her moments. Her shoulders would tense, her hands in fists, her brows furrowed and her eyes dark. That’s when Jackie knew Shauna was ready to pounce or have a serious altercation.
That was the issue, Jackie knew Shauna so well yet not nearly enough. She knew what Shauna did and didn’t like - what music, food or movies; her favorite color and book. But Jackie didn’t know SHAUNA. She tried so hard to be able to read her, but the dark haired girl was beyond confusing. Shauna knew Jackie tried to read her, sometimes she’d be driving, Jackie in the passenger seat and all Shauna can feel is Jackie’s eyes. Staring, piercing into Shauna trying to crack her. Shauna was a more private person, keeping to herself and focusing on school, soccer and college. Jackie wasn’t like that, she focused on her perfect reputation, keeping her boyfriend and everyone around her happy.
“You gonna pass that or keep hitting it?” Nat asks, breaking Shauna’s concentration. “Oh sorry yeah” Shauna says, brows furrowed and her mouth a slight frown. “A lot on your mind? Girl trouble?” Nat asks before inhaling and exhaling. Shauna's grip on the steering wheel tightens. Nat got her answer from Shauna’s tense body language. Everyone always saw how close Shauna and Jackie were, they didn’t question it until Shauna had started getting drunk at these parties - her anger intensified everytime Jackie and Jeff would be happily together making out in some corner. Nat and Lottie had picked up on these things, especially since the two of them had their own thing going on.
Nat and Shauna didn’t talk much when they’d smoke together, most of the time it was silence and a few head nods to assure the other they were feeling it. Although today was different, after last night, Nat saw how Jackie dragged Shauna away from her. The jealousy practically protruding out from Jackie, most likely without her even realizing. Of course Shauna would never realize how Jackie really saw her.
“I’m gonna get going, but I’ll see you later at breakfast? I’ll be with Lottie she’s picking me up” Nat says smirking before putting out the joint and hoping out of the car. “Yeah sounds good, you guys are getting closer I see” Shauna says raising one eyebrow. “Shut it Shauna you know damn well” Nat smiles and Shauna nods before heading to Jackie’s house.
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Jackie sat on her bed waiting for her friend to arrive, her suitcase and carry on sitting alongside the girl. She adjusted her lipgloss anticipating seeing her beloved best friend. The truth was Jackie loved Shauna, in ways she couldn’t begin to describe. Shauna made Jackie feel nervous, excited, judged, yet never judged at the same time. There was something about Shauna’s presence that Jackie craved deeply.
Just as she was deep in her thoughts, a car pulls up - Jackie gathers her belongings and heads downstairs where Shauna meets her at the door. She grabs Jackie’s suitcase and places it in the trunk of her car, alongside her own suitcase. Jackie smiles, it’s like her and Shauna had an unspoken agreement. Once on the road, Shauna headed to the airport. Lottie’s dad had a plane specially booked for them - one of his own private planes.
Jackie pulls down the mirror and begins to touch her hair, examining herself for precision. Jackie sniffs a little as she leans closer to Shauna inhaling the familiar smell of marijuana. She scrunches her face and rolls her eyes at Shauna before pouting a little, her face frowning slightly.
“Did you see Nat before me- before coming to get me?” Jackie asks immediately, correcting herself, understanding the way it could come across. Shauna’s body tenses, after Jackie ditching her last night after swearing she wouldn’t - Shauna was fed up, and honestly pretty fucking hungry. “So what Jackie? So what if I saw Natalie before coming to see you? So what if I smoke some weed with her? Or even by myself!! Why does it matter Jackie?” Shauna says before quickly zipping her mouth shut her brows furrowed in frustration. Jackie knew Shauna better than anyone, she was nervous for the flight. Typical Shauna, taking her anger out on Jackie when she’s just nervous.
“Woah shipman calm down, I don’t care that you smoke. Its just… you and Nat have really been getting along.” Jackie says before closing her mouth and glancing out the window as they arrived at the airport. “Is that a problem?” Shauna asks, puzzled yet confused. “Let’s get inside? I’m hungry” Jackie says ignoring Shauna before the two roll their suitcases inside meeting with the rest of the girls.
After breakfast, they started to board the plane. Jackie and Shauna sitting next to one another, Nat behind them, Lottie and Laura Lee in the row across from Nat. Mari in the middle row with Akiliah, Van sat in the way back with Melissa, Tai in front, and the remaining people sat in the other unoccupied seats.
Shauna buckled herself in, taking a deep breath before exhaling. Her grip tightening on the sides of the seat, Jackie notices and smirks. She reaches into her pocket pulling out some pills before shaking them in front of Shauna. “Valium. I swiped some from my moms medicine cabinet. She has like an unlimited supply so I doubt she’ll even notice.” Shauna smiles at Jackie before placing the pill on her tongue and swallowing. The world is drowning out around her as she focuses on the substance that’ll soon settle in.
“I knew you’d need some, remember the last time you were on a plane with me and my parents?” Jackie jokes, the girls laugh as they both go back to their own thoughts. Shauna couldn’t imagine what was going to happen after nationals. What if they win? And what was she going to do about brown. Shauna had gotten into brown and recently found out, but what about Jackie’s plans to Rutgers? It all made Shauna nauseous. She glanced out the window and watched them slowly lift off the ground. The sounds of the airplane drowning out with the Valium kicking in. Shauna couldn’t help but smile with satisfaction, all her nerves at ease. As everything slowly faded to black, Shauna couldn’t help but hear something in the distance.
“Shauna!”
“Shauna wake the fuck up!! Get the fuck up Shauna!! The plane crashed!”