Chapter Text
yr 2000
Adrenaline was coursing through her entire body and her fingers gripped tightly around her motorcycle’s handlebars as she watched the speedometer slowly rise. Snaking through the cold, empty town she knew all too well, from the side streets to the main roads, weaving through cars as she heard the familiar sound of sirens quickly approaching behind her. She whipped her head around before locking back onto the road in front of her, laughing hysterically. This was all one big game to her, just a regular Thursday night. She revved the engine, gripping tighter than ever before. She could feel the sweat soaking into the foam liner of the helmet that masked her identity from any passers by.
But the cops knew exactly who they were chasing. Just a regular Thursday night for them too, apparently.
She hadn’t done anything too wrong, this time around. She had just been going a little too fast down the highway when she first noticed the blue and white lights activate behind her. If she had stopped, she probably would’ve just gotten a ticket, but where was the fun in that? In her mind, it was just an opportunity for a fun time. She stopped for a moment, looking at her rearview, waiting for the cop to leave his vehicle. Once he did, she revved the engine, speeding away, looking back and laughing at the pathetic sight of him sprinting to his car. 1 car became 3, then 4 and 5. “ Fucking amateurs .” she muttered under her breath after riding for almost 10 minutes, looking back one more time, then pulling into a wide alley, the wheels scraping the pavement loudly as she braked. Fun was over. Cool while it lasted, though.
She shut the ignition off as the bright lights surrounded her, cops emerging from every side. Some had guns drawn, for whatever reason unbeknownst to her. It’s not like she was any real threat.
“Take the helmet off, Scatorccio.”
She lifted the helmet off her head, letting out a big breath and threw it to the ground, but it was no big reveal, they all knew who it was. Nobody else caused chaos quite like her in that small little town of theirs. The full moon cast a light that reflected off her pale skin. She ran a hand through her dark brown shaggy hair that was stuck to her rosy cheeks, glued down by sweat. Her black eyeliner somehow was still intact. Kind of. A sly smile was plastered on her face as her entire body moved up and down as she tried to catch her breath. She couldn't make out a single person that was in front of her, she squinted, lifting her arm out to try and adjust her eyes to all the lights shining in her face.
Before she could even think to step off her bike, she felt herself being violently pulled off and shoved face first onto the ground, her arms being bound behind her. She didn’t resist, she rarely ever did, but that didn’t stop 3 cops from running full force at her, screaming at her and searching her as if she had just shot up a school. Only a few grunts and profanities escaped her mouth when they were being a little too rough on her, but other than that, she stayed quiet.
After a while, she felt a giant sweaty hand wrap around her arm and pull her up from the ground, a taste of nickel filled her mouth and she realized she was bleeding from some part of her face. The cop pulled her arm so her ear was by his mouth, but she refused to face him. “All this when it could’ve just been a ticket, you really are a fucking dumbass.” Blood continued to fill her mouth and she spat it onto the ground next to his feet. “ Where would be the fun in that?” she spoke, still breathing deeply as a small smile began to appear on her face, clearly enraging the man. His grip tightened around her bare arm, causing her to wince slightly. Her leather jacket had fallen down past her shoulders and she knew none of them gave enough of a fuck to fix it for her. Her wife beater, once white, was now all dirty from the damp ground, and red from the trail of blood that trickled from her nose down to her lip and off her jaw. She let out a small laugh, tilting her head and finally making eye contact with the angry man. “Angry now, are we, big guy?” she teased, her bloody smile widening as she watched her words get to him. Finally, he shoved her forward, an unspoken way of telling her to walk, and he kept his grip tight as he walked slightly behind her.
They made it to a squad car, but were met with a familiar face. “Scott” was written on his nametag. She knew him well. He basically dedicated his whole life to taking her down, but to no avail. He had hope, though, that one day, he’d be the one to finally put an end to her and her father’s shit.
“Natalie.” he spoke with a smug smile. “I would say I’m surprised to see you in these circumstances, but that would just make me a fucking liar, wouldn’t it?”
Natalie scoffed. “You gotta get fucking laid, man.” Officer Scott tilted his head and walked closer to Natalie. “Seriously, you’re obsessed with me. It’s embarrassing.” she continued, looking up at him with no hint of fear in her eyes.
“You wanna talk about embarrassing, Scatorccio?” he chuckled and leaned in closer, causing Natalie to turn her head, jaw clenching so as to not lose her temper on him. “That’s rich coming from you.” he finished. But then he cocked his head, smiling at what he was about to say. “Your mother would be so disappointed.”
Without hesitation, Natalie spat right in his face, immediately being pulled back and shoved against the hood of the squad car. The cop pushed her hands further up her back causing the cuffs to dig into her skin, making her grunt in pain, and he placed his other hand on her jaw to hold her head in place, but she kept her eyes locked on Officer Scott, who was wiping the spit off his face with his sleeve. She couldn’t help but let out a weak laugh at the pathetic sight as the cop continued screaming at her and threatening her.
“You gonna fucking cooperate ?” was the last thing he said and the first thing she heard. She didn’t respond at first and just continued to breathe deeply, staring daggers into Scott, but then yelled in pain as the cop continued to push up on her hands. “ Ugh, FUCK! YES!” she replied in a pleading tone, earning a chuckle from Scott. “Quite the show you’re putting on tonight.” he droned as the cop pulled her back up by her jacket. He turned to the cop and his cheeky smile faded immediately. “Bring her in.” he spoke coldly.
The car door opened and she felt her arm get pulled on again. She ripped it from the cop’s grasp with a firm “ Fuck off.” before getting in the car herself. The door slammed shut and finally, she was alone. She leaned her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes. When she heard the driver side door open, she opened her eyes. “How long is this all gonna take you think?” she asked impatiently, as if she was on a tight schedule. She kind of was, but nobody had to know that.
“I don’t know, just sit back and shut up.” the cop replied before chugging the rest of his water bottle and starting the car.
She could only let out a small chuckle at the cold response. “I like you.”
___
“Don’t think I’m not onto you, Scatorccio. I’m gonna take you down. And it’s gonna be sooner than you think.” Officer Scott spoke, his hands on the table. His colleague sat across Nat, just staring daggers into her. Natalie just sat, manspreading with her arms crossed, unphased by his threats. Her face was still full of blood, it was clear nobody was rushing to tend to her wounds or clean up the mess. She just scratched the back of her head before she spoke.
“Okay. Yeah, cool. So can I leave, or..?” she asked, motioning to the door with her head.
Scott sighed and she looked up at him, biting her lip and smiling. “I can, can’t I?”
He looked at his colleague and back at her. He walked around the table and leaned down, speaking directly into her ear. “Don’t enjoy the freedom for too long, Natalie. We’ll catch you slipping at some point.” She rolled her eyes, stood up, and made her way towards the door. “And when we do..” he continued, causing her to turn around one last time. “I’ll be the one to lock you up and throw away the key.” he smiled, crossing his arms. Natalie just pursed her lips and nodded.
“Can’t wait.” she spoke facetiously before turning the knob and quickly walking out.
Before she left the station, she stopped by the bathroom to clean her face. She ripped off a couple of paper towels and ran some warm water over them, looking in the mirror as she wiped the blood from her nose, then her cheek. She tilted her head back as she wiped her jaw and neck, her mouth slightly agape. When she was done, she noticed the clock on the wall of the bathroom. She made out the time and muttered to herself, “Shit.” before quickly disposing of the bloody paper towels and exiting the bathroom. She retrieved her motorcycle keys and other belongings from the front desk and swiftly left the building, leaving everything that just happened behind her. Onto the next.
That was the thing about Natalie, she was never one to reflect on her actions or apologize for them. She was unapologetically herself, and while that may sound like a good thing for a regular person, Natalie Scatorccio was no regular person. She was selfish, dangerous, borderline sociopathic. She never took shit from anyone and she’d never been in a fight she didn’t win. Most people knew her, and most people feared her, a little bit because of who her father was, but mostly just because of who she was. And she fucking loved it.
She pulled into her driveway and ran inside her house. She first went to her room and changed into a new white tank top, throwing the original one on the floor before running to her kitchen. She pulled open a drawer revealing several little bags filled with white powder, and grabbed one, shoving it into her jacket pocket. She glanced at the clock in her kitchen reading 8:48 before running back out, hopping on her bike and riding away.
It was a short ride to her destination, probably about 5 minutes. It was a small abandoned church that was rarely ever used for Sunday services anymore. Mainly, it was used for small clubs, meetings, or for the rundown basketball court that was on the lower level. The paint was almost completely peeled off, vines stretching across the walls, the only sign of life being the light that was on in the sanctuary, and faint sounds of a man’s voice. Natalie shut the ignition off her motorcycle, the low hum of the engine coming to a halt.
She slowly got off, kicked the kickstand out, and made her way into the building. The pews had been ripped out, now replaced with several folding chairs being occupied by familiar bodies. They showed up every week with new stories to tell about how they resisted the urge to snort a line or inject poison into their veins. They were always so proud of themselves, Natalie didn’t know what that was like, and she didn’t care to hear their stories or tell them she was proud of them like everybody else there seemed to do.
She quietly sat down in the back row, crossing her arms and looking at the clock on the wall, watching as the little arrow slowly moved upward. She drowned out the sounds of bittersweet stories the best she could as she waited for the meeting to end.
The creak of the door got her attention though, since everybody seemed to be here, so who else could be walking into this place? She whipped her head around to see a new face. Young, unlike the rest of the people there, probably around Nat’s age. A girl with wavy brown hair, deep brown eyes that were shooting around the room, hoping she was in the right place. Her lips were pink and glossy, contrasting well with her olive skin. She had on a pink crop top, exposing her midriff and over that, a pink velvet sweater with pants to match.
A rich girl, Natalie presumed and she scoffed lightly before turning her head back around to face the front podium. The mystery girl awkwardly shuffled to the back row and sat in the seat on the opposite end from Natalie. She mirrored Natalie, crossing her arms, but not with impertinence like Natalie, but with a shyness that exuded from her whole being. Natalie had never seen her before, not just in these meetings, but anywhere for that matter. She didn’t pay her any mind though, and kept her arms crossed, closing her eyes until she finally heard the leader say they were done.
She huffed, glad that it was finally over, and remained seated until everyone else had gotten up to either leave or partake in the array of snacks at the back of the room. She walked up to the podium where the leader was with her hands in her jacket pockets, a small smile on her face. “What’s up, man?” She spoke quietly, slipping a hand out of her pocket and connecting it with his. A small handshake it seemed, to anyone watching, but really an exchange. The little bag of white powder once in her pocket, now in his hand, closing tightly. “Nice to see you again, Natalie.” he smiled, putting the bag in the pocket of his jeans. “Pleasure as always.” she slyly replied before turning around and walking away.
She noticed the new girl again, eyeing the assortment of cookies, pondering which one to grab. A mischievous smile slowly grew on Nat’s face and she made her way over to the girl, the smell of lavender perfume immediately filling her nose. “Haven’t seen you around.” The girl whipped around, caught off guard by Natalie’s straightforwardness. She looked down and was met with a toothy grin.
Fixing her slightly startled face into a shy smile, she chuckled lightly as she watched Natalie stretch her arm around her to grab one of the cookies off the table. “And I’d like to think I’d remember a face like yours.” Natalie continued, facing the girl once again, noticing a tiny scar on her forehead. She handed the cookie to the girl and smiled. “I’m Natalie. But you can call me Nat.”
“Lottie.” the girl replied, taking it from Natalie’s hand, their fingers slightly brushing against each other’s. She couldn’t help but feel her face heat up as she looked into Natalie’s eyes. “How’d you know this was my favorite kind?” Lottie smiled, a hint of curiosity in her eyes as she searched to figure out what was in Natalie’s.
She took a bite as Nat responded, “You look like a white chocolate kinda girl, I don’t know.” her voice was low, she never once broke eye contact with the taller girl.
That earned a genuine chuckle from Lottie, showing the little fangs in her teeth, “Oh really? Am I that readable? And what about you then?”
Natalie shrugged, finally looking away for a moment. “Not really into sweets.” she spoke deeply, eyeing the table for a moment, then looking back up at Lottie. “So what brings you to a place like this on a Thursday night, Lottie?” Nat asked, emphasizing the L in Lottie’s name, hoping to maybe build some rapport with the girl, a possible new client.
More clients meant more money, after all. Lottie swallowed the bite she had taken and cleared her throat before replying, “I’m um, I’m new to this town. I moved here a couple days ago.”
“And why in god’s name would a girl like you move to a city like this?” Nat asked, crossing her arms and tilting her head, wanting more from Lottie. She clearly wasn’t afraid to insinuate that she knew Lottie was rich, it wasn’t exactly hard to tell. Nobody in that whole town looked like her. She was something special, and Nat could tell.
“I just needed a fresh start, away from everything I knew; everything I was, you know? Perfect life wasn’t always so perfect.” She spoke quietly, taking another bite from her cookie.
“So I see. ” Nat replied in her usual deep voice that gave Lottie a chill down her back.
“With the stress of the move and everything, I just don’t wanna slip up. I kind of really wanted to tonight, but I came here instead.” Natalie smiled at Lottie’s openness, but it was a smile that read “ this is gonna be so fucking easy”. She nodded, arms still crossed. Lottie spoke again, to break the tension only she was feeling, “What about you? What brings you here?” she asked, leaning against the table. She finally realized they were the only ones left in the building.
Nat uncrossed her arms and put her hands in her jacket pockets, keeping a perfect poker face as she replied, “Oh, I run sort of a small business. Some people here really like my stuff.” Lottie nodded, finishing the last bit of her cookie.
“Cool, what kind of stuff do you sell?” her face showed genuine interest in Nat’s words, and Nat couldn’t help but smirk before responding to the girl.
“Well, I’m always looking for new customers.” she reached into her jeans pocket pulling out a little pen. “How about you let me show you around the city sometime and I can show you myself?” she asked in a flirtatious tone, making Lottie’s face heat up again. Her eyes were dark, as if she was a lion about to pounce on its prey, lips curved upward in a smile that Lottie deemed as genuine. Poor girl really had no idea.
Lottie smiled and stretched her arm out, pulling her sleeve up revealing her bare arm. “Sounds good to me.”
Natalie ripped the cap off the pen with her teeth and looked down at Lottie’s arm before scribbling her phone number onto it. When she was done, she looked at Lottie, biting her lip. She looked her up and down before walking away, leaving the church. She reached into her pocket pulling out a pack of cigarettes, quickly slipping one out and placing it loosely between her lips. She lit it after getting on her motorcycle and immediately started it, revving the engine before riding away from the building.
She rode slowly, feeling the cool breeze blow through her hair, taking puffs of her cigarette and exhaling carefully, unable to take her hands off the handlebars. Once she got home, she dropped the filter on the ground and stepped on it before making her way inside. The key turned, and she felt a tension in the air she couldn’t quite understand, until she stepped inside and saw 2 big muscular men in all black, standing in her living room. Instead of fear or shock, she just seemed bothered by their presence. She shut the door and walked towards them.
“Who the fuck are you and why are you in my house?” she asked with the tone a mother uses when catching her kids doing something bad. She took off her jacket and tossed it on the couch.
“We work for your father. He’s got a message for you.” one of the men spoke, his voice deep and raspy.
“And he couldn't just call me?” she scoffed before walking to her kitchen, the men still in sight. She slowly opened a drawer revealing a gun and the man continued.
“You gotta up your game, Nat. You may be his daughter, but he’s got no problem cutting your ass off if you don’t step it up.”
Natalie swiftly placed the gun behind her before walking back into the living room.
The other guy spoke up, “He’ll do worse than cut you off. You know he’s fucking crazy, he’ll kill your ass and not bat an eye.”
Nat crossed her arms and laughed, “That’s what he wanted you to tell me? Well, lucky for him, he doesn’t have to worry. I’m getting new clients and my sales are way higher than last month’s. You tell him that.” she spoke her last words with a fire in them, then reached behind her pulling out her piece. “Now get the fuck out of my house.” her words were dripping with venom, but the men remained stone faced.
They looked at each other, then back at Natalie. After what felt like forever, they finally walked towards the door, opened it and left the house. She lowered the gun and let out a sigh, placing it on the counter. She walked to her door and locked every lock on it, wondering how the fuck they even got in there in the first place. She shook the thought off, running a hand through her hair.
She walked to the drawer that held the white powder and took out one of the bags, ripping it open onto the kitchen table. She tilted her head, focused, as she divided the powder into thin lines. She leaned down, snorting the first, then the second.
She sat up, exhaling deeply. “What a fucking night.” she muttered to herself as she walked to the living room and sat on her couch. She wiped the white residue off her nose and leaned back, fishing for the box of cigarettes in her pocket. She pulled one out and immediately lit it as she switched on the tv.
Her nights usually went this way. She didn’t do coke every night but this one was particularly stressful, and it seemed like a good way to decompress. After a little while, she nodded off, falling asleep with the tv playing quietly in the background.
_____
Lottie never called, for whatever reason unbeknownst to Natalie. But Nat wasn’t too worried about it. She figured she’d see Lottie again next Thursday at the weekly N/A meeting, and take it from there. The words of those men rang through her mind constantly, though. Her father never called, never visited. The only way she knew he was even alive was through his stupid messengers he’d send to threaten her every now and then. She didn’t really fear death, but she couldn’t lie, it would sting a little if it was at the hand of the only parent she had left.
She made some sales throughout the week, usual places and faces, being slick to not get caught, and eventually, Thursday rolled around again. She sat through the meeting, reveling in the fact that Lottie had sat a couple seats closer to her, even though not having called that whole week. She was wearing a short yellow dress this time, her crossed legs fully exposed, and a light blue jean jacket on top. She also had these cute little black shoes and white socks with frills poking out the top.
She was more gloomy this time around, her head hung low as her leg bounced rapidly up and down. She wasn’t even engaged, though Nat couldn’t blame her, she herself was rarely ever engaged in what any of those people had to say. Once everything was over and Natalie gave the leader his weekly fix, she made her way over to Lottie, who was headed towards the door. “Hey, what’s up with you tonight?” she asked, grabbing Lottie’s arm and gently turning her around to face her.
Lottie looked down at the floor. “It’s nothing, Natalie.”
“Nat.” Nat softly corrected before persisting, “And I know it’s not nothing. Come on, you were all happy and cute last week and now you’re all glum.” she spoke, taking her hand off Lottie’s arm finally.
Lottie sighed and met Natalie’s gaze. “I’m sorry-”
“Don’t apologize.” Nat interrupted, and Lottie smiled weakly before continuing.
“I just.. Tonight was worse than usual. The cravings and everything. I almost didn’t come, but..” she trailed off and Nat grabbed her hand, looking up into her sad brown eyes.
“Heyy,” she began, rubbing the back of Lottie’s hand with her thumb. “Let’s go get your mind off all this, yeah? Doesn’t that sound fun?” she asked, convincingly kind, though her intentions were anything but that.
Lottie sighed, “I don’t know, Nat. I think I should just go home-”
“You owe me, Lottie.” Nat cut her off, tilting her head slightly. “Had me waiting all week for your call. You made me sad.” she fake pouted, earning a small laugh from the taller girl. Her voice was low and sweet. It sounded sincere. Lottie scanned Nat’s eyes for a moment before finally giving in.
“Fine.” she sighed with a smile forming on her lips as she watched a toothy grin form on Natalie’s face. Natalie let go of Lottie’s hand, and dramatically motioned towards the door.
“After you, then.” she smiled, and watched Lottie walk outside as she followed closely behind.
When Lottie saw the motorcycle, her eyes widened. “That’s yours?” she asked, turning to Nat. Nat just smiled proudly.
“Pretty, isn’t it?”
Lottie laughed nervously, “I mean I just.. I’ve never ridden on one before.” Natalie laughed, walking to her bike and hopping on.
“Could've fooled me, princess.” she teased as she handed her helmet to Lottie. She noticed Lottie’s reluctance and motioned for her to get on. “Come on, I’ll go slow. I promise.” Lottie looked at her, then back at the motorcycle, then back at her before finally grabbing the helmet and getting on the bike. She put the helmet on and clicked it together. When she heard the engine turn on, she grasped onto Natalie’s waist for dear life. She felt Natalie’s body move as she laughed.
A low, “Hold on tight.” was all she heard before they were finally moving, and she kept her eyes shut the entire ride.
_______
“Sooo..” Natalie began as she twirled her beer bottle. “What’s Lottie short for anyways?” she asked, leaning her head on her hand, elbow on the bar table to face Lottie. Lottie had barely touched her drink, and Natalie was on her second beer already. She had turned her chair so her whole body was facing Natalie, the bar table to the side of her.
“Charlotte. But nobody ever calls me that anymore.” she spoke sweetly, twiddling her thumbs, her eyes getting lost in Natalie’s buzzed ones. Natalie took another sip of her beer and Lottie couldn’t help but notice her sharp jawline every time she lifted her head to take a sip. Her usual hollow cheeks would puff out when getting filled with the golden liquid, hollowing out again every time she swallowed.
When she placed it down, she turned her head to Lottie and smiled, “I like Lottie.” her speech was the slightest bit slurred from the small buzz she was having. Lottie smiled, finally taking a sip of her classic martini.
“You’re a fancy girl, huh?” Natalie hummed, studying all of Lottie’s facial features. She caught herself warming up every time Lottie’s dimples showed when she’d smile really big, but she just attributed it to the alcohol that was in her system.
“I guess you could say that.” she began, then she realized Nat looking intently at her.
“What about you, huh? I feel like I don’t know anything about you. You’re so mysterious with your leather jacket and your eyeliner.” she teased, earning a smile from Natalie.
“Not much to me, princess.” Nat responded, facing forward and taking another sip from her bottle. Lottie persisted, “I highly doubt that.” she twisted her chair so she was now facing the bar table like Nat, elbows on the table with her head in her hands.
After a few seconds listening to the ambience of low music and other people’s conversations, she turned to face Nat. “What about that little business you were telling me about? What’s up with that?” Nat turned to face Lottie and put down her now empty bottle. Her eyes had a hint of something in them, Lottie couldn’t seem to make it out. Her jaw was clenched a little, as if she regretted ever bringing it up in the first place.
“I’d much rather talk about you.” she deflected after a moment. “You’re an addict, right?” she asked bluntly, reaching into her pocket for her cigarettes. She took one out and lit it, sliding over a small ashtray. “What’s your vice?” she asked, smoke exiting her mouth, disappearing into the air. Lottie looked down at the table and took another sip of her drink before looking at Nat.
She took a deep breath before responding quietly, “Coke. I’m addicted to cocaine, isn’t that fucking embarrassing?” she laughed awkwardly, but Natalie just shook her head. “No, that’s.. that’s not embarrassing.”
Lottie continued, “My first year of college, I got introduced to it. It’s how I got this.” she pointed to the scar on her forehead. “I was spiraling, it got so bad that I had to drop out cause my grades were just plummeting. My parents were pissed.”
“Hey, at least you went to college.” Natalie half joked, and Lottie smiled, continuing,
“I mean I was a top student too. I think the pressure just.. got to me, I don’t know.” she shook her head and turned away from Natalie.
“I get that.” was all Natalie responded with, taking another drag, but it was enough to make Lottie feel a little bit better. She turned to Natalie once again.
“You wanna get out of here?” she asked, standing up from her chair and grabbing her jacket.
Natalie immediately sprung up, nodding. “Yeah, totally.” She put her cigarette out and dug in her pocket for her wallet, but Lottie beat her to it, placing a $20 bill on the table. Natalie didn’t argue, she didn’t thank Lottie either. She just turned and walked towards the door of the bar, opening it for Lottie.
“Let’s go to yours.” Lottie spoke, her words catching Nat off guard.
She grabbed the helmet off Nat’s bike and sat on the backseat. Before putting it on, she smiled at Nat. “You really turned my night around. Thanks.” Natalie just smiled, a weird feeling washing over her, something she’d never really felt before. She couldn't quite put a finger on what it was. She got on the front seat of the bike as Lottie put the helmet on, then felt Lottie’s hands wrap around her waist once again.
She revved the engine and sighed, slowly making her way to her house.