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It’s afternoon, and Okuyasu wishes he was somewhere else.
“Does Rohan wear makeup a lot?” Okuyasu tries to sound casual and doesn’t meet Koichi’s eyes or wipe his sweaty palms on his pants. He doesn’t want it to sound like the question has been weighing on his mind.
“Yeah, I’ve only seen him a couple times when he isn’t all done up.” Koichi answers easily. He stops fiddling with his straw and looks up to see Okuyasu pointedly looking away. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for Yukako, she usually isn’t late, is she?” Making eye contact with Koichi is harder than it should be, but Okuyasu knows he needs to look casual and cool. The condensation on his glass is dripping onto the café table. The weekly meetups started after the whole Kira business (an odd thought for Okuyasu, the Boogeyman is dead and he gets to pick up the pieces he didn’t realize the whole ordeal had left behind) as a way for the four of them to keep in touch. Mostly for Yukako since she wasn’t in their class and also a little for Okuyasu and Josuke because when your mates are dating it’s easy for them to forget to talk to you too. Even after school ended for summer break, they kept their pattern.
“She isn’t, but she said that her mom had some chores for her.” Koichi thinks for a moment, “It might just be us two for a while.” Josuke got to go visit his dad (it’s weird for Okuyasu to think of old Mr. Joestar as only Josuke’s dad but it is what it is he supposes) for half of the break so he’s in New York. Once a week Josuke calls Koichi’s home phone and Koichi puts the phone on the table and everyone gets to talk to him. It’s a long distance call so it doesn’t last very long but it’s nice to hear from Josuke.
“Ah, that’s okay.” Okuyasu says, slouching into the chair. The metal design on the back digs into his back a little but that’s a small price to pay for stretching his legs out under the table. Koichi orders some kind of cake for a snack and a tea. Okuyasu doesn’t order anything because his job at the supermarket only pays for keeping his dad alive and the house theirs, and doesn’t leave any room for things like new shoes or fancy looking sweets at a café once a week.
“You were asking about Rohan’s makeup before?” Koichi asks after ordering, turning in his seat so he can face Okuyasu directly. Before he can even think to stop, Okuyasu does wipe his hands on his pants. Koichi definitely caught that, the guy might be short but he’s perceptive as hell and Okuyasu is a little afraid of him (in a good way, like the way people are sometimes afraid of their moms).
“Uh, yeah, don’t, um,” Okuyasu stumbles over his words to try to figure out how to reply, “Isn’t that kind of gay?” Okuyasu grimaces as soon as it leaves his mouth and Koichi’s expression darkens a little.
“That’s not what I meant! Uh, I mean…” Okuyasu wants to melt into the ground. He tries a little, sinking further in his chair until only his eyes peer over the table at Koichi. Maybe at this angle Koichi can’t see the flush on his face, “I mean that’s not very manly? Maybe?”
“Try again.” Koichi says a little coldly, and then turns momentarily to accept his cake from the waiter. The waiter gives Okuyasu a little sneer, and walks off. Whatever, Okuyasu angles his head up so he can stick his tongue out at the man’s receding back. Koichi’s eyes snap back to Okuyasu so he returns to his cowering position, out of his chair and mostly kneeling on the ground at this point.
“When you want to, you can have some of this.” Koichi says a little more softly, and Okuyasu stretches his neck to get a better look at the cake. It’s a pretty hefty slice of strawberry shortcake. He knows charity when he sees it, everyone gives Okuyasu bits of their food and he knows it isn’t only because he’s a really swell guy.
Okuyasu takes this offer as a sign that Koichi understands that he misspoke, and gets back into his chair. They use the same fork for the cake, taking turns eating it until it’s gone. Then Koichi scrapes the icing off with his fingers and eats that too.
“We’ll wait until five, and then if Yukako doesn’t show up she probably got caught up helping her mom. I’ll call her when I get home to make sure she’s okay.” Koichi explains, mostly for his own benefit. Okuyasu doesn’t care. Well he cares a little, because sitting her under Koichi’s observant eyes is a little intimidating.
“Can we tell the host that we’re going to the beach?” Okuyasu asks, “I want to go to the beach… and this way if Yukako shows up she’ll know where we went.”
Koichi sighs for the show of it, but then they do pay their bill and leave a message with the host at the café for Yukako. Okuyasu’s hope that the walk will distract Koichi doesn’t work. Sure enough, Koichi asks him again what his question and reaction meant while they walk.
“I guess, uh, I don’t know. I’ve never seen someone who wasn’t a lady wearing makeup so nicely.” The last part slips out by accident, but Okuyasu doesn’t mind. He doesn’t think it’s weird to admit the Rohan looks good in makeup, that’s why the man wears it. To be honest, Rohan looks a lot nicer than most ladies Okuyasu sees. The older man kind of dresses like a movie star, only in immaculately picked outfits and matching shoes and accessories.
Koichi hums softly, and they walk in companionable silence. Okuyasu is content to let Koichi lead him throughout Morioh’s streets in a rambling manner. The sun is lowering in the August sky, and although it’s not sunset yet the air around him feels like a summer sunset. Comfortable and hinting at something more beautiful like the stars at night.
Okuyasu likes his job at the Supermarket. He works a lot, he only has Thursdays and Fridays off, but it brings in a lot of money for him and his dad. Okuyasu doesn’t think about the empty bedroom that used to belong to Keicho, he locked the door one day and never ever wants to open it again. Luckily between school and work and his friends, Okuyasu doesn’t have a lot of time or effort to think about anything like that. He gets three free shirts (uniform polos) from his job and a discount on the cheap canned food he stocks during the day. So all in all, it’s a pretty good gig and his boss is pretty chill.
Once when he was shopping after work, Okuyasu ended up looking for body soap and walked by the makeup display. There was gold nail polish. He picked it up before he even remembered that there’s no way he could buy something for himself like this. It doesn’t even occur to him that men don’t wear nail polish, he’s thinking strictly of finances. If Okuyasu bums dinner off Tonio for a couple days this week he could buy this.
“Buying a gift for a girl? Gold’s a little gaudy, boy.” An old man kindly offers his advice and the nail polish feels like fire in Okuyasu’s hand. Of course, girls wear nail polish. Only girls. Okuyasu puts the nail polish down and buys his soap in another store so he doesn’t have to walk by the makeup display there ever again.
“Hey, Okuyasu.” Koichi says, snapping him out of his daydreaming, “I figured we could just call Yukako. Plus you can ask Rohan about his makeup while I call her.” Oh. That’s why Koichi was taking such a roundabout way to the beach. Okuyasu’s mouth is a desert and his palms an ocean and he wishes there was some way to even out between the two. He opens his mouth but only gets out half a croak before Koichi is ringing the doorbell.
There’s a shuffle, and then Rohan opens the door. Okuyasu wishes Koichi was tall so he had someone to hide behind. Rohan is wearing a black tank top that’s also a turtleneck for some reason and even though it’s the dumbest shirt Okuyasu has even seen (why would you need a turtleneck for the cold but no sleeves) it’s still very pretty.
“Hell Rohan, may I use your phone? Also Okuyasu wants to ask about makeup.” Koichi says offhandedly, already shrugging underneath Rohan and heading into the house. Okuyasu decides he’s going to murder Koichi. It would be pretty easy with The Hand’s help and Koichi would never suspect it from him. Plus Josuke is out of town for one more week so there would be no one to magically fix Koichi.
“You want to know about makeup?” Rohan’s emphasis on “you” makes Okuyasu feel dumb and small. He can tell Rohan is analyzing the situation carefully, weighing between outright rejecting him or making fun of him before.
“It’s not a prank!” Okuyasu blurts out, because he realizes maybe Rohan thinks it is, “I mean I know it kind of looks like a prank but I was eating with Koichi and I asked if you wore makeup a lot and then some things happened and he…”
“Well, you can come inside.” Rohan gestures, his voice is still making fun of Okuyasu but it feels less like a teacher asking him why he can’t do this math problem and more like Josuke when he thinks Okuyasu is being overdramatic about something.
Rohan’s house also looks like a movie star’s. He must make a lot of money with his manga. Okuyasu tried reading it a little, but it’s a long manga with a lot of intricate storylines he had a hard time following. Not to mention he could only find the fifth and seventh volumes at the library which didn’t help understanding it at all. Okuyasu will stick with reading the small comics at the supermarket’s checkout lanes during his breaks.
Rohan leads Okuyasu past where Koichi is diligently dialing Yukako’s number from memory and into Rohan’s second living room. Maybe this is a parlor room? Okuyasu knows those exist but he’s not sure what a parlor is or what you do in one.
Rohan sits in a plush red colored chair, so Okuyasu takes the couch. He definitely doesn’t even think about wiping his sweaty palms on the nice couch.
“Did you want to know why I wear makeup?” Rohan asks. Okuyasu shakes his head. Rohan pursues his lips and changes his question, “Did you want to learn how to wear makeup?”
“Yes.” Okuyasu croaks out after an eternity. Rohan’s stare is intimidating and Okuyasu looks anywhere but at him. There’s an ash tray on his table. It’s a little weird to have a sparkling pristine ash tray especially if no one is going to use it.
“Okuyasu, there’s a lot of different types and ways to wear makeup. Can you be any more specific?” Rohan is back to sounding like a teacher again, and Okuyasu feels swallowed by the largeness of his question.
Okuyasu has seen the makeup aisle in the supermarket, but he knows that’s not where Rohan buys his. One time Tomoko took him and Josuke to a nearby city and they went to a mall. Josuke and Okuyasu wandered through a big box department store while Tomoko looked for some new clothes. The makeup sections there were huge, long sprawling desks with attendants waiting to help women looking at the numerous displays. Josuke grimaces at the section, and Okuyasu pretended he didn’t like it either.
He doesn’t know how to say he likes it all. Okuyasu likes that stuff that looks like a pen that gives you a sharp eye, he likes the blush and the stuff that’s face colored and makes your face look smooth, and he likes the eye shadow and the lipstick. So, Okuyasu says what he can,
“I like nail polish.”
Rohan laughs.
Okuyasu feels ready to sink into the earth. His face is burning, and Okuyasu wants to leave but embarrassment has him rooted in place. Rohan’s easy loud laugh seems to echo in the vaulted ceilings and in Okuyasu’s brain and ego.
“Oh, come on, I’m not laughing at you.” Rohan sneers, and Okuyasu jerks his head up to meet the man’s eyes, “I’m laughing because lots of people wear nail polish and you came in here acting like you were going to prison.”
His ears are burning, but it doesn’t feel bad just kind of warm and makes Okuyasu feel bashful. Oh, liking nail polish and wanting to look pretty is normal. Of course it is.
“You just practice nail polish, it’s like art. Buy your own and give it a try.” Rohan says plainly, and stands up to go check on Koichi’s call.
“I can’t afford it.” Okuyasu whispers quietly to himself. He feels ridiculous, that he had some kind of revelation but can’t even do anything about it. Now he knows he can paint his nails, but it doesn’t mean he can afford too. For a moment, Okuyasu thinks that Rohan hear him but the man’s stark footsteps continue into the hall.
Koichi says that Yukako will meet them at the beach, and asks Rohan if he wants to come. Rohan laughs and it echoes in the rafters again before he sneers “No” and shuts the door on them.
“Did he help you?” Koichi asks.
“Yeah, a little.” Okuyasu admits. At least worrying about if it’s normal to like nail polish is one less thing to worry about.
Okuyasu has a fun time at the beach despite being a third wheel, and when he gets home he cooks some rice and a rudimentary curry for him and his dad to eat the rest of the week.
At work, Okuyasu stocks cans and thinks about his budget in terms of when he can buy nail polish. He doesn’t get paid for two weeks, so maybe he can stretch some of his money even thinner between now and then to afford it. Koichi’s mother says hello to him while she’s shopping, and he makes some polite conversation with her while she’s in the aisle he’s working on. Koichi’s mom is wearing a very nice sensible blouse and a sort of dark red, purple skirt.
When Okuyasu was younger, he had found a skirt in a dumpster. It was a little grungy, but Okuyasu looked under vending machines until he found enough money to run it through a washer and dryer at a laundromat. The skirt was a light sky blue with little white flowers on it. While Keicho was out doing whatever it was he did, Okuyasu would wear it sometimes. His dad didn’t care. Okuyasu wasn’t sure if Keicho would care, but he was old enough to know that only girls and words he wasn’t allowed to repeat wore skirts. So, Keicho would probably yell at him about it. Okuyasu liked the way the soft fabric felt skimming across his legs and the way he felt pretty when he caught glances of himself in the mirror. But, then they moved and Okuyasu couldn’t think of a good way to pack it without Keicho noticing so he carefully folded it and set it in an alley. Maybe someone else would get to use it.
When his shirt ends, Yukako comes by and asks if he wants to come to Tonio’s with her. Okuyasu says no thanks, he just made curry yesterday so he’s set for the week. Yukako’s lips frown and she raises one of her eyebrows but doesn’t push him. Josuke and Koichi push Okuyasu, but Yukako just accepts it. It’s a little nice not to have to answer to her.
There’s a little white bag on Okuyasu’s doorstep and as soon as he sees it he dreads arriving at his house. The house still looks abandoned, and sometimes the elementary and middle school kids leave dog shit in front of his house as a prank. Okuyasu did that sometimes when he was little, but it’s now that he realizes what a pain that prank is for the homeowner. It’s easy to dispose of, just gross and annoying.
But, as soon as Okuyasu picks up the bag he knows it isn’t poop. It’s heavier and feels odd in his hand. Nestled in white tissue paper in the bag is a bottle of unopened gold nail polish. The polish sparkles in the light from the nearby streetlamp, and Okuyasu isn’t sure how to react.
He drops the bag and wrapping paper, almost cradling the nail polish in his hands. Very, very carefully, Okuyasu unlocks his door and goes inside. He can hear his dad rustling around upstairs, and he carefully makes his way to the bathroom. The tile is cracked and a little stained despite his best cleaning efforts. Okuyasu sets the nail polish on the counter and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He looks at the nail polish. It’s the nicest thing in the entire bathroom, maybe the entire house. The cap is a solid matte black and the writing on the side of the glass is sharp and clear. Okuyasu takes a deep breath and remembers to think.
First things first, he has to give his dad dinner. Also, Okuyasu should eat dinner. It’s excruciating, sitting at the table trying to shove curry into his face as quickly as possible. The nail polish feels like a beacon pulsing in the night, calling out his name.
The brush is very small, and Okuyasu’s hands shake. He sits on the toilet under the light in the bathroom. The Hand’s hands are a little steadier. Okuyasu gulps as his stand brushes a cold stroke across his left thumb. He didn’t expect the nail polish to feel cold. But, it makes sense when he thinks about it. The Hand finished its stroke, and Okuyasu holds up his thumb to inspect it.
There are sparkles in the paint, in addition to being gold in color. It looks…. Cute? Okuyasu feels himself blushing a little bit in the dim bathroom light. The Hand is crowding him as well to get a good look. Excitement and something else oozes from his stand and Okuyasu extends his fingers to have The Hand finish. The painting is amateur at best with clumps and streaks and a fair amount of paint on the surrounding fingers. But looking at it makes Okuyasu’s heart flutter.
He calls away his stand because he can paint his right hand himself, and Okuyasu focuses all his attention on the task. It’s hard, a lot harder than his stand made it look. Okuyasu has never been exact, and even when he was younger he was bumbling and clumsy. He and The Hand have been working on being more particular in their movements, but it’s frustrating and long practice. He’s nowhere near ready to try to paint his own fingernails, especially with the way his hand shakes.
Still, Okuyasu manages to bumble his way through his right hand. Honestly it looks about the same as the left all in all, which makes him feel very proud. Something is blooming in his chest, something weird and warm and kind of lovely? No one has ever used soft words to describe Okuyasu but it feels like the nail polish could start to make him (maybe) cute.
He stands up and Okuyasu’s hand hits the side of the counter. His fingers stick weirdly, and Okuyasu looks down at his right hand. If Okuyasu’s burgeoning confidence was a vase, what just happens knocks it off the table and shatters it. He’s smeared the nail polish on the counter, on his hands, everything.
He isn’t sure what to do. It’s not washing off in the sink and suddenly all Okuyasu can think is that tomorrow he has work. Work where his boss reminds female employees that they can’t wear nail polish at work. By now both of his hands are red and raw from soap and the gold clings to his hands like some sort of bad joke.
One time (it feels like lifetimes ago even though it was only two years ago), Okuyasu had a friend in his middle school class. She was a girl who wore her dark hair short, shorter than even a bob. It was in kind of a bowl cut. She was brash in conversation, but stayed quiet most of the time. Okuyasu liked her in the kind of nervous way kids like their peers that they admire.
He can’t remember how they became friends, but Okuyasu and Haru did. And sometimes, they would catch a bus to nearby town. Then in a park, they would swap uniforms. It was the first time Okuyasu had ever seen another person’s body that wasn’t his brother. Haru was very soft, and Okuyasu felt dumb and too big compared to her. Once he was wearing a girl’s uniform and Haru was in his, they would catch another bus to big city and just walk around. No one noticed or cared. Okuyasu stayed quiet, even though he was too young for his voice to betray him yet, he liked the way people laughed nicely when they noticed him hiding behind Haru.
“Your girlfriend’s a little shy, isn’t she?” A shopkeeper asked while Haru was buying them popsicles.
“Yeah, she is.” Haru replies, and when they’ve left the shop Haru asks if that was okay.
“Do you want me to call you a boy too?” Okuyasu asks in return. So, twice a week after school the two go and pretend to be someone they’re not. Or, maybe they’re pretending to be someone else the other five days of the week. It still hurts Okuyasu’s head to think about right.
The fun stops when Keicho catches Okuyasu shaving his legs (so he can wear a skirt without leggings or tights underneath) and yells at him. Okuyasu cowers and the next day after school he tells Haru very quietly that he can’t go out with him anymore. Haru isn’t cruel about it. Haru tells Okuyasu very seriously that he will treasure their time together, and asks if it’s okay to tell people that he had a girlfriend. Okuyasu says yes. Haru kisses Okuyasu innocently, and it feels like Okuyasu is something soft and pretty. Later that night, Keicho apologizes for yelling but says shaving a man’s legs is dumb and stupid and he was just tired from school so he yelled instead of being reasonable.
Okuyasu wonders what Haru would think of him now, crying ugly dumb tears over a mistake with nail polish. Suddenly, the loss of Keicho feels very real. Keicho would be mean and brash but he would help in the end because they are (were) brothers. Okuyasu doesn’t have anyone to help. So, he goes to the one person that maybe can understand.
“What the hell!” Rohan snarls, not asks, when he flings the door open. Okuyasu can’t help that he’s blubbering the answer or that he’s been banging on the door for probably a solid minute or two.
When Rohan decodes Okuyasu’s stuttering and sees the smudged nail polish, Rohan sighs loudly and tiredly. He gestures for Okuyasu to follow him, giving some sort of lecture Okuyasu is too overwhelmed to listen too.
“You have to wait for nail polish to dry.” Rohan lectures, taking a cotton ball and putting something smelly and pink colored on it. “This is Nail Polish remover. When you buy your own, don’t buy one with acetone in it. Are you listening to me?” Okuyasu nods quickly.
Okuyasu hasn’t been in this bathroom before. Usually he pees in the bushes outside with Josuke until Rohan sees them and comes screaming out of the front door. Sometimes when he tails Koichi, he uses the green colored bathroom on the ground floor.
This bathroom is huge and a light blue color in theme, Okuyasu can see a huge tub before Rohan. There’s also a huge mirror with lights all around it. Okuyasu’s eyes are red and a little puffy, and he raises a hand to rub at his eyes.
“Don’t rub! I’m working here.” Rohan snaps, slapping Okuyasu’s hand away from his face. Rohan is taking the cotton ball and vigorously rubbing the nail polish off of Okuyasu’s hands. The solution is taking off the polish in a way soap and hot water couldn’t even dream of.
“Wow.” Okuyasu breathes despite himself. Rohan’s face twitches into something that might be a smile for a second as he looks down at his work.
“You can’t use soap and water unless the nail polish is very wet and even then you’re more likely to smear it than get it off.” That starts Rohan on another tirade about painting one’s nails. Rohan is scrubbing pretty hard on Okuyasu’s hands, and it rubs them raw a little bit but it still feels gentle and nice. Rohan finishes up, and Okuyasu isn’t sure what to expect. Rohan gets up and looks through the bathroom cabinets for a moment. Then, he throws a towel at Okuyasu.
“It’s midnight. Take a shower, you can sleep in the guest room.” Okuyasu wants to say thanks or something.
“You’re still pretty without makeup.” Whoops, that isn’t what he meant to say. Rohan’s face isn’t evenly toned without makeup, there are some darker spots and the area under his eyes looks darker than Okuyasu would expect. But, Rohan still has long lashes and a sharp face that looks like it’s from a magazine in a nice store.
“Obviously.” Rohan retorts, and leaves. He turns in a minute with some clothes and directions to the guest bedroom. “Wear these so you don’t get your disgusting work clothes on my sheets.” Then, Rohan leaves for good and shuts the bathroom door behind him as he leaves.
The shower makes Okuyasu feel a little uncomfortable. It’s big and the doors are just glass so it feels like he’s in the open. So, he takes the shower really quickly. Rohan has a lot of soaps, and Okuyasu isn’t sure what to do with them. He grabs one that says hair on it and uses it as shampoo, and grabs another one and uses it as body wash. Okuyasu watched a movie called Howl’s Moving Castle with Yukako once, and he feels like the old woman when she was in the wizard’s bathroom. That probably makes Rohan the wizard which doesn’t work because Rohan doesn’t have a secret heart of gold or anything.
The clothes Rohan left don’t fit really well. It seems weird for Rohan to even own a plain t-shirt, much less one that says “The Band.” It’s obviously a band shirt because there’s tour dates on the back, but what band? Okuyasu figures that’s ironic or something. He ignores the underwear and just wears his own, there’s no way he’s wearing Rohan’s underwear. No way. Okuyasu pulls on the sweatpants and ambles to find the guest room.
The guest bedroom has a real bed. Everyone Okuyasu knows uses futons, so it’s really interesting to get to use a raised bed. He’s slept in one before, he and Keicho and their dad moved around a lot. It makes sense that Rohan would have Western style beds, especially if he has a guest room just set up with no other purpose. Rohan doesn’t seem like the kind of person to fold up a futon every day.
Okuyasu dreams of going to a café in a sundress, and Josuke and Yukako and Koichi are all there. They tell Okuyasu how pretty the dress is and how the color suit’s Okuyasu’s eyes so well. It’s a nice dream, everyone gets cute looking cakes and drinks with ice and long colored straws.
In the morning, Okuyasu rolls out of bed and promptly falls on the floor. It’s confusing for a moment before Okuyasu realizes that this is Rohan’s guest room and that’s why rolling dropping him on the door instead of just off the futon on the ground.
Work. Okuyasu fumbles for a moment before running out the door and down the stairs, where are Rohan’s clocks? He needs to know the time. Rohan is sitting primly in his kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee serenely.
“What, uh, time? The time?” Okuyasu manages. Rohan gives him a withering stare.
“I already called in to your supermarket and said you were sick.” Rohan takes a slip.
“WHAT?” Okuyasu asks, stretching around Rohan to see the time on the oven, “I! I need money! Work’s money!” It’s eight thirty, shift starts at eight so really maybe Okuyasu will only be an hour late.
“I need a model for my new chapter. I’ll be paying you more than that shop.” Rohan says ‘shop’ with distain, and Okuyasu relaxes a fraction.
“You need me to model?” Okuyasu asks hesitantly. Koichi helps Rohan a lot, but he says that it’s mostly proof reading the manuscripts before Rohan draws. Apparently it saves time to have someone read it in Morioh instead of mailing the manuscripts to his publishers. “Modeling” makes Okuyasu think of Heaven’s Door and having an entire life laid bare for Rohan to flip through as he likes.
“This upcoming arc introduces a tall heroine character, so I need to practice drawing that.” Rohan answers with a smirk, “No Heaven’s Door for you, today.” The today bit seems kind of ominous.
“Heroine?” Okuyasu asks, playing with the hem of the shirt, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Yukako is too strict, this character is a cute soft girl. You’re the best model I know for it.” The praise makes Okuyasu feel lightheaded. Rohan isn’t trying to stroke an ego, Rohan probably has no idea how to flatter someone like that. Rohan just states facts he (and by the Great Rohan’s association, the world) believes to be true.
“Should I, um, do my hair?” Okuyasu asks nervously. Hair is sticking up at some odd angles at the moment. It takes a lot of work and a lot of hair goop to change Okuyasu’s messy bedhead into something more reasonable. Rohan laughs in reply. It’s more of a short sarcastic bark than a laugh.
“You couldn’t apply nail polish and you want me to let you fix your hair? No.” Rohan leads Okuyasu back to the bathroom. Okuyasu’s dad is alone right now, but Okuyasu knows he understands what the fridge does and there is food in there for him to eat. One day away will be alright. Okuyasu sighs.
Rohan tsks around Okuyasu in the bathroom, and brushes out Okuyasu’s hair with soft, confident strokes of the hairbrush. Then, Rohan starts to apply makeup. Okuyasu flinches.
“Don’t move, you’ll smudge it.” Rohan commands. Okuyasu obeys, but is kind of confused. Why is this happened? Does Rohan need makeup to draw the character correctly? Shouldn’t Okuyasu be insulted that Rohan wants to base a cute heroine off of Okuyasu’s likeness?
“What are you doing?” Okuyasu asks instead.
Apparently, Rohan is going “light” on the makeup. He puts eye shadow on, like multiple colors. Apparently it’s shading? Okuyasu doesn’t understand and Rohan talks so quickly and matter-of-factly. Then, Rohan uses eyeliner with a paint brush smaller and pointier than the brush from the nail polish.
“Can you make it sharp? Like, uh, like a cat?” Okuyasu asks, unable to remember what the magazines call the style.
“Hm… Not today. This character is too simple. Winged eyeliner is very chic.” Rohan replies, and continues his work. He berates Okuyasu’s blinking and when Okuyasu gets some of the eye liner smudged Rohan sighs. For the first time in his life, Okuyasu doesn’t feel embarrassed about holding back tears. Crying will ruin the makeup.
Rohan applies blush which tickles, and then lip gloss that feels tacky and tastes sweet when it gets in his mouth.
“Do you do this to Koichi?” Okuyasu asks while Rohan leans back in his chair to survey his work. It’s a little weird to have chairs in your bathroom, but the bathtub looks big enough to do laps in so maybe people with big bathrooms just have chairs in there too. Why not?
“God, can you imagine Koichi in lip gloss?” Rohan asks, and Okuyasu figures that’s as good of an answer as Rohan is willing to give. Which kind of means that Okuyasu is prettier than Koichi? Maybe.
Rohan seems satisfied, and leads Okuyasu to his study. Okuyasu sees a reflection in the bathroom mirror. There’s a girl in the mirror. A girl with soft, interested eyes and flushed cheeks and kind of a dumb haircut she should grow out. The lip gloss makes her lips look sparkly and her eyes are wide and pretty. Okuyasu’s reflection is pretty.
“Come on.” Rohan says, turning back to wear Okuyasu is stopped in front of the mirror.
“I’m cute.” Okuyasu whispers quietly. Rohan scoffs.
“Of course you’re cute. That’s why I’m having you model for me.” Okuyasu feels like a wide, huge world is open.
“Why did you ask me to model?” Okuyasu asks very quietly. Okuyasu feels like a child again, like someone who finds a skirt in the trash and changes into a girl’s uniform in some bushes afterschool.
“Because you fit the character.” Rohan answers, folding his arms and looking generally impatient.
“Do you feel pretty?” Okuyasu asks.
“No. I’m handsome, I’m a man. I don’t mind being pretty though.” Rohan says, unfolding his arms and stalking over to where Okuyasu is standing. “Do you feel pretty?”
“Yes.” And it feels like Okuyasu is free. Okuyasu is pretty, really truly pretty. Rohan scoffs, and rolls his eyes. They go to the study and Rohan sketches Okuyasu in different positions and makes him read and pretend to talk on the phone.
For lunch, Rohan makes Paninis which aren’t something Okuyasu has ever seen before. Apparently the expression Okuyasu makes when Rohan puts the sandwich in the Panini press is “Perfect, don’t move” so Rohan draws Okuyasu waiting for the sandwiches to cook. The cheese is all melty and the whole sandwich is warm and thin in an exciting way. Afterwards, Rohan chastises Okuyasu for messing up the lip gloss and gives some to Okuyasu to reapply without Rohan’s help.
Rohan lets Okuyasu out around five o clock. Okuyasu in his house reheating curry before Okuyasu realizes that he’s still wearing Rohan’s clothing and the makeup. Okuyasu wipes it off in the bathroom mirror. The reflection still looks cute, even with the makeup gone, to Okuyasu’s surprise. Maybe Okuyasu was always cute? That’s an odd thought
Okuyasu goes back to work and meets Yukako and Koichi for lunch once a week, but now sometimes Rohan shows up at the house to drag Okuyasu away for a modeling session. Okuyasu’s house doesn’t have a phone in it (they have a phone on the kitchen wall, but Okuyasu can’t pay for it) and after the third time Rohan has to fetch Okuyasu, the phone begins ringing the next day. Someone on the other end says he’s paid his bill and the only person who calls Okuyasu besides misdials is Rohan. Okuyasu knows charity when it happens, but Okuyasu doesn’t ask about it or even mention it. That would be looking the gift horse in the mouth for Rohan.
Josuke comes back from American with lots of new music to share, and the two of them spend a lot of nights listening to the tapes quietly enjoying each other’s company.
“I missed you.” Josuke says one night, interrupting the soft sounds of Californication. Okuyasu is thinking about dark purple nail polish and dark lipstick. Maybe Rohan will know if that’s in style, purple lipstick has to be in style somewhere.
“I missed you too, bro.” Okuyasu says, turning to face Josuke. Josuke is already looking at him. “Was it fun seeing your old man?”
“Yeah.” Josuke sighs contently before continuing, “America is fun, and we’re going to go sometime.”
“I like makeup.” It’s tumbling out of Okuyasu’s mouth too quickly. Josuke makes Okuyasu’s already thin filter even thinner and talking to Josuke is almost like a direct connection from brain to mouth. “I like looking pretty.” Turning away from facing Josuke, Okuyasu hopes to avoid Josuke’s reaction. Rohan is weird, an anomaly on all accounts, and Josuke will probably react like Keicho would have if he found the skirt.
There is a beat of silence.
“That’s okay. I’m gay.” Okuyasu gulps and looks at Josuke. Josuke is looking directly at the ceiling with shimmering eyes, turned away from Okuyasu.
“Okay.” Okuyasu says dryly, and scooches over on the futon. Josuke’s shoulder shakes like maybe he’s crying and Okuyasu gets gross tears all over Josuke’s shirt but neither mention it to the other. Okuyasu doesn’t remember going to sleep, but when they wake up they’re a tangled mess of limbs and blankets.
Josuke asks Okuyasu if there’s more to it. And the words tumble out of Okuyasu’s mouth, about the skirt and Haru and Rohan and desperately wanting to feel pretty.
Josuke looks Okuyasu directly in the eyes and says,
“You’re not pretty. You’re beautiful.” And then they cry and hug all over again.
Life goes on. Josuke comes out to Koichi and Yukako one at a time. It’s a little fun because now they can tease him about cute waiters and see a genuine blush that Josuke never got when teased about girls. Okuyasu also tells Koichi and Yukako about wanting to be pretty. Koichi looks warmly, and Yukako rolls her eyes and says that Okuyasu is already pretty. Yukako also asks if Okuyasu wants to be called someone else. But, Okuyasu is Okuyasu and Yukako seems to understand that answer, even if Koichi doesn’t look like he does.
Tomoko buys Okuyasu a palette of eye shadow for Okuyasu’s birthday and even gives a quick lesson on how to use makeup (“I kind of always wanted to have a daughter to teach her this stuff,” Tomoko says). (“Could I be your daughter?” Okuyasu asks before thinking about the question and to Okuyasu’s surprise Tomoko smiles and hugs Okuyasu tightly. Tomoko says, “Of course.”)
Rohan makes Okuyasu model more and more, and on one Thursday when the gang meets at the café, Rohan asks Okuyasu to stop by his house before meeting the others. Rohan has a plastic bag in his hands.
“Put this on, then come out. This won’t take long. I’m just stuck up on the way this fabric falls.”
In the bag is a blue sundress. It’s the color of the sky and has little daisies all over it with golden centers. Okuyasu puts it on carefully. There’s also tights and a pair of yellow flats in the bag and Okuyasu puts those on as well.
“Okay, sit over there.” Okuyasu does, making sure that there’s nothing unsightly showing and that legs stay crossed. Rohan sketches for a minute or two before frowning, then he gets up. Rohan comes back with a headband which he promptly places on Okuyasu’s head. Then, Rohan goes back to drawing.
After what feels like a much shorter time than it would take Rohan to draw what he needed to, Rohan twists in his seat to check the clock on the wall.
“Get going.” He pushes Okuyasu out of the chair and towards the door.
“Huh? The dress!” Okuyasu protests, gesturing to the entire outfit and then reaches up to take off the headband.
“You look cute, just go eat with your friends.” Rohan says flatly, trying to shut the door on Okuyasu and also adamantly looking at the ceiling.
“Thank you.” Okuyasu says earnestly, and Rohan smiles just a little.
“Get out of here.” Rohan half-heartedly snarls and shuts the door.
Okuyasu goes to the café in a blue sundress, with the sun high in the sky and a nice breeze blowing the dress around just a little. No one looks oddly at Okuyasu and no one jumps out of the bushes to yell. In the distance, Josuke is arguing with Yukako at an outdoor table while Koichi appears to be observing nearby birds. Okuyasu sits down at the table the rest of the gang is at.
“Excuse me miss, but we’re waiting for our friend. Not nearly as cute as you.” Josuke winks, and Okuyasu looks down with a blush and a smile. The waiter comes by and takes everyone’s orders. Okuyasu doesn’t order anything.
“Really, you’re not going to order for your girlfriend?” The waiter asks Josuke with a raised eyebrow. Josuke laughs.
“This is my sister!” Josuke leans over and grabs Okuyasu into a one armed hug. There is something warm and perfectly bubbling in Okuyasu’s stomach. The waiter smiles a little, and then leaves them be.
It’s afternoon, and there’s nowhere Okuyasu would rather be than with her friends.