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The first time it happened, Tommy wasn’t expecting it. He was just relaxing for a little while and watching the party going on around him when Chimney sat down at the table with him, carrying a plate loaded with so much food that Tommy wondered how he had managed to balance it from the buffet to the table without losing anything.
“It’s great to have you here,” Chimney said with a wide grin.
It had been two weeks since Maddie and Chimney’s wedding had to nearly be postponed. They had married in the hospital, Tommy missing the event by minutes because he hadn’t been able to get away from the extra shift early enough. Now Hen and Karen were hosting a relatively small reception in their backyard because that part of the wedding had to have been canceled outright at the original date.
“I’d not have missed it,” Tommy said, though he knew that the only reason Chimney had remembered inviting him to his wedding was their little unauthorized rescue mission in international waters.
Tommy had learned very early in life that he was the kind of guy people liked well enough but didn’t stick around for. He had never had a problem making new friends. It was easy for him to connect to new people, to find things he had in common with them. He was the kind of guy people called when they needed something—like a helicopter and someone who’d fly said helicopter into a hurricane to save some friends who might or might not be in any danger—but he wasn’t the kind of guy people remembered to invite to more casual social events if Tommy didn’t remind them somehow he existed. He had learned to live with that and to not let it bother him anymore.
Chimney chuckled. “Yeah. But I’m pretty sure Maddie and I aren’t the main reason you’re here today.”
Tommy shrugged. He had no idea what he could say to that. He would be here to celebrate Chimney’s wedding even if Evan hadn’t called him to ask for a second chance after their first failed date. He would have been here even if Tommy had taken his resolution from the very beginning more seriously and kept his distance from Evan in an attempt to protect his heart.
Tommy knew himself quite well at this point in his life. Becoming friends with Eddie had been an easy decision because there was no risk to Tommy’s heart in that. But he had been as relieved as he had been disappointed at first when Evan hadn’t reached out to him the way Eddie had after their joint rescue mission because Evan was the kind of guy Tommy could easily fall for. Tommy had known that from the moment on when they had watched Bobby reunite with his wife on the rescue boat and Evan had sent him a brilliant smile.
“I have to say, I’m a little surprised you’re getting yourself into the mess that Buck and Eddie are,” Chimney said around a mouthful of food.
Tommy watched Chimney with a frown. “What mess?”
Chimney waved his fork to point in the general direction of everyone else. “You know, the bets about them started practically the first day Eddie worked with us. I don’t think anyone placed a bet on either of them hooking up with another guy first.”
Tommy laughed surprised. Eddie’s and Evan’s friendship was the first thing he had really learned about when he had started to spend time with Eddie. It was hard not to with the way practically everything Eddie talked about seemed to be connected to Evan.
“Hen is running that kind of bet?” Tommy asked bemused because he couldn’t really see Hen speculating on anyone’s sexuality. Though he knew she wouldn’t hesitate to bet on anyone’s love life or to take bets she didn’t really agree with.
Chimney shrugged. “Why not? Honestly, it’s become painful to watch them dance around each other.”
“They’re good friends,” Tommy conceded.
Chimney huffed. “Yeah, sure, friends. They’re practically living in each other’s pockets. But you’ve seen them. So I guess you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“What do you mean?” Tommy asked.
“One day Buck and Eddie will get a clue,” Chimney said. “That romance finally finding its conclusion will be epic.”
Tommy snorted. He wondered what Evan and Eddie would think if they heard their friends talking like that. He had seen both of them laughing about strangers’ assumptions about them being romantic partners, which was apparently something that happened regularly to them. They had both been very clear about what they thought about those assumptions and Tommy knew there was nothing to worry about for him.
“I think you’re very much misinterpreting that friendship,” Tommy said.
Chimney frowned and looked at him. “Wait, you don’t really expect your thing with Buck to last, do you?”
Tommy rolled his eyes. “I think that’s between Evan and me and no one else.”
“And Eddie!” Chimney added with raised brows. When Tommy huffed, Chimney shook his head. “Wow. You’re setting yourself up for so much heartbreak, man.”
Tommy rolled his eyes again and decided to change the topic. Getting any kind of dating advice from Chimney had always been a bad idea, and it wasn’t his problem if Chimney couldn’t see Eddie and Evan’s friendship for what it was.
***
The second time it happened, Tommy assumed it was just a sister being worried for her brother. He was trying to avoid Gerrard—he didn’t even know why Gerrard was at the award ceremony in the first place—when Maddie found him.
“You’re a surprise,” she said, sipping on her sparkling wine.
Tommy raised his brows, taken aback. “Truly?”
Maddie chuckled. “Ah, no, not in a negative way. I always suspected my brother wasn’t exactly straight. His crush on Eddie is not the first time I’ve watched him floundering so embarrassingly. He thinks I don’t know, but his crush on the high school basketball captain was something else.”
Tommy exhaled slowly. He’d never had any true relationship with his much younger half-siblings, hadn’t even talked to them in decades, and so he had no idea what sibling relationships really were like. He didn’t know what to make of Maddie or the way she was talking about Evan. It made him feel uncomfortable on Evan’s behalf.
“I still didn’t think Evan would ever date a guy,” Maddie continued. “At least not until Eddie finally gets a clue and rescues Buck from his misery. My brother is just that kind of clueless about his own emotions.”
Tommy nearly laughed. It wasn’t that long ago that he had sat together with Eddie and Evan and they had shared every instance about someone thinking they were a couple. There were tales about a Christmas elf at a mall and about several people on calls. There was also a memory shared about Maddie teasing Evan about his ‘boy crush’ on Eddie. Evan had been convinced she didn’t really believe that, and Tommy wondered if he should tell Evan he had been very much mistaken about that.
Tommy desperately wanted to point out that Evan wasn’t the one clueless about his love life. But he bit his tongue so he wouldn’t say any of what was running through his head or outright laugh about Maddie. He didn’t want to leave a bad impression. No matter what she might think about him or Evan’s relationship with Eddie, Tommy hoped to be a part of Evan’s life for a long time. Getting onto Maddie’s bad side didn’t seem like a good idea in that scenario.
“Evan and Eddie have a special friendship,” Tommy said eventually.
Maddie chuckled. “Special is one word to describe it. But I’m glad you’re aware of it. I’ve seen women walk into Buck’s life who should’ve known about it, too, and who still played the wounded part when they couldn’t bear being second place in my brother’s life anymore.”
Tommy sighed, wishing this conversation could already be over. He wanted to tell her off for her condescending words and her attempt to meddle in Evan’s relationship, but he didn’t feel he knew either her or Evan well enough yet to do that without coming off as the aggressor.
Maddie watched him with open skepticism. “I just don’t want my brother to get hurt, you know?”
Tommy nodded. “I promise that’s not my intention at all.”
Maddie huffed. “Don’t do it by accident either.”
She took another sip of her sparkling wine while holding Tommy’s gaze. Then she nodded and turned around, leaving him to his thoughts. He was suddenly glad that his half-siblings probably didn’t even remember him and he had no siblings of his own who’d try to meddle in his life or relationships. He’d need to figure out how to deal with Maddie doing it in the future, so hopefully, he wouldn’t feel as wrongfooted the next time as he did now.
***
Spring turned into summer and it kept happening. Tommy didn’t know when exactly he stopped laughing it off, but he remembered the first time he started wondering.
They were celebrating Karen’s birthday, gathered in the Wilsons’ backyard once more, when Tommy found himself talking to Bobby. Bobby was curious about Tommy’s career since he had left the 118 and it was a great conversation for a long time.
Then Bobby said, “I’m glad to see more of you again. Though I have to admit I was a little surprised by the reason.”
Tommy sighed. “Hen was the only one I had come out to at work until after I left the 118. You encouraging and supporting me to take a job where I could fly again was only half the reason I left. I couldn’t … Everyone I had a reason to fear was long gone by that time, but it was still difficult to let go of that fear while I was still at that same place.”
Bobby exhaled slowly. “Ah, I’m sorry, Tommy. That wasn’t supposed to be any kind of accusation. I’m not the kind of guy who feels entitled to any kind of personal information of the people I work with, let alone the people I call friends.”
Tommy felt himself blush. “You’d be one of few with that opinion.”
“I’m sorry for every self-righteous asshole you had to deal with,” Bobby said with a deep frown.
“It did teach me who was worth keeping in touch with,” Tommy said.
“What I meant to say was, that everyone had been kind of waiting for Buck and Eddie to start dating,” Bobby said. “There was even some speculation at one point that they were already doing that without being aware of it.”
“Sounds like you don’t have a very good opinion about either of them,” Tommy said.
Bobby laughed. “Oh, no. That’s not it. They’re great guys, and they’re really good firefighters. But they’ve both had to deal with some pretty harsh experiences, and they’ve gone through a lot of those over the past years together.”
“Some of that comes with the job description,” Tommy said
“Not the way those two go about it,” Bobby said, chuckling softly. “But no matter what we all expected, Buck seems to be happy with you. And that’s all that matters, right?”
“Yes,” Tommy agreed. He felt uneasy about this topic in a way he hadn’t before, but he didn’t really want to think about it. He knew that in the end, it shouldn’t matter what everyone else thought about Evan and Eddie’s relationship. But he wondered for the first time what he was missing that everyone else seemed so convinced to see.
“Maybe it just never was the right time for Buck and Eddie,” Bobby said thoughtfully. “And maybe it’s the right time for you and Buck instead.”
Tommy smiled. “I very much hope so.”
***
Tommy had long lost count of how often he had heard the same thing about Evan and Eddie when it truly started to get to him. He had been spending the afternoon with Evan and Jee-Yun while Maddie and Chimney were on a date, and he found himself alone with Maddie for a moment when they dropped off Jee-Yun at home and Evan and Chimney chased after the little girl.
Maddie sighed deeply. “You know, when I told you not to break my brother’s heart, I didn’t think I’d have to warn you not to break your own heart either.”
Tommy swallowed. “I’m doing just fine.”
Maddie shook her head. “Howie says you’re a great guy, and he has to know.”
“It’s good to hear he thinks that way.”
That was a glowing recommendation and Tommy knew that. There had been a time when he hadn’t behaved especially great, especially concerning Chimney. It had been a long time ago and a lot had changed since then, but Chimney was someone who’d hold a grudge even if he hid it. If Chimney had told his wife Tommy was great, Tommy figured he didn’t need to worry about there still simmering some bad feelings between them.
“So, don’t drop off the face of the Earth again when things with Buck and Eddie change, yeah?” Maddie said. “That won’t change that you’re Howie’s friend, too.”
Tommy felt himself blanch and his heart skipped a beat. She was so sure about this, so convinced about Evan and Eddie. Even after all these months, after spending so much time with both Evan and Eddie, Tommy didn’t see it. He admired their friendship, but he had started to wonder a while ago if he was missing something that everyone else saw so clearly.
“Howie could reach out to me, too, outside of those days when he needs someone to fly him into a hurricane on a hunch,” Tommy said with raised brows, unwilling to share the turmoil she had caused with Maddie.
“Don’t think you’re forgiven for taking my brother and my husband on that kind of flight!” Maddie said and pointed a finger at him with a mock glare. Or at least Tommy hoped it was meant to be a joke, even if her tone was a little off.
Tommy shrugged. “It was worth it in the end, wasn’t it?”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “It was. But still, don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“I’ll remember,” Tommy lied.
If things did end with Evan, especially for the reasons everyone else seemed to be waiting for, he wasn’t sure if he could bear keeping in contact with anyone from the 118. Because Maddie was right, it would break his heart.
***
The last time it happened, they were all sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, feeling relieved about the news that Hen’s son would be alright after all. The nurse who had been worried about Evan’s boils a while ago had come back and finally convinced Buck to let a doctor look at it.
“You’re a saint indulging Buck in his insanity about a supposed curse,” Chimney said as he sat down beside Tommy.
“Let’s hope the doctor will be able to give him something to take care of the boils,” Tommy said. “Otherwise, it might actually be a curse.”
Chimney laughed. “Yeah, sure. You know, I really thought you’d know better than to fall for someone so unavailable.”
“Evan and I are on the same page,” Tommy said despite Chimney’s words being so much more painful than they had been right in the beginning.
Chimney watched him with a raised brow. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“You think you know more about our relationship than Evan and I do?” Tommy asked.
“No reason to get angry, buddy,” Chimney said, rolling his eyes. “Come on, you knew what you were getting into right from the start. Don’t be angry at me for playing with fire and getting burned.”
“Maybe you need to learn not to meddle in things that aren’t any of your business,” Tommy said.
Chimney chuckled. “Maybe someday you’ll find someone who’ll marry you, and then you’ll understand that your spouse’s business is very much your business.
“So, your relationship with Maddie is Evan’s business?” Tommy asked with raised brows.
Chimney shuddered. “God, no!”
“Seems a little hypocritical,” Tommy said.
“Really, it’s been nearly half a year now that you’ve known Buck, isn’t it?” Chimney asked.
Tommy shrugged. He was already making plans for their six-month anniversary in less than two weeks. He didn’t feel Chimney would be in any way respectful if he brought it up, so he chose not to say anything.
“Can’t believe your honeymoon phase of not seeing his faults hasn’t worn off yet.” Chimney gestured in the direction in which Evan had followed the nurse. “Especially with that silly bullshit he is pulling right now.”
“His dislocated shoulder is very real,” Tommy said, feeling defensive on Evan’s behalf. “As are the boils.”
“Yeah, sure. But the drama he’s creating around it is really unnecessary,” Chimney said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway.” He nudged his elbow against Tommy’s arm. “I’m a little worried about you getting so involved. I’m a married man now and a dad, I don’t have time to spend all my free evenings in some bars with you and watch you drown your broken heart in beer.”
“Luckily for me, I never depended on you for that kind of thing so your precious time as a married man and a dad won’t be threatened,” Tommy said darkly. He had never even considered asking Chimney for something like that.
“Wow, I see I’ve hit a nerve.” Chimney huffed and stood, patting Tommy’s shoulder in the process. “Just don’t complain in a couple of weeks or so that I didn’t warn you. And don’t be a stranger.”
Tommy fisted his hands against his thighs, but before he could process any of what Chimney had said, Evan returned. He complained about the doctor not being helpful at all but that he still had an idea of how to lift the curse.
As much as Tommy tried to ignore Chimney and Maddie’s warnings, their words echoed in the back of his head over and over again, most often when he was expecting it the least. When Evan brought up moving in together and Tommy’s bad experiences of the past caused him to panic, the echo of all those warnings just compounded his panic.
And so it was Tommy who broke both their hearts without any warning whatsoever.
It wasn’t even a consolation that he’d had to listen for half a year to people telling him Evan would inadvertently break his heart only to prove them all wrong in the end by doing the heartbreaking all by himself.
***
The first time Eddie called, Tommy ignored it.
It had been nine days since his ill-considered night with Evan and the first time Tommy had heard anything from Eddie since November. Not that Tommy had been surprised about that in the slightest. Tommy knew he was easily forgotten by people, that people didn’t bother to keep in contact with him even if they did remember to call if they needed something.
Eddie shouldn’t need anything from him. There really wasn’t anything they would need to talk about, especially with Eddie in Texas, so Tommy was determined to ignore him.
But Eddie kept calling.
At first, there was a half hour between each call. Then, after the fourth call Tommy ignored, the calls came in every ten minutes. Another hour later, it went up to a call every five minutes, and eventually, Tommy lost his patience.
“What do you want, Eddie?” Tommy snapped.
“Wow.” Eddie huffed. “What a greeting. No ‘Hey Eddie, how are you? Great to hear from you!’?”
“I haven’t heard from you since November,” Tommy said. “I don’t know why I should be happy to hear from you now.”
Eddie sighed. “Yeah, that wasn’t so great of me. Buck already metaphorically kicked my ass for that. I’m sorry. Honestly. It was shitty behavior and that I was struggling with Chris and everything is no excuse at all.”
Tommy closed his eyes and messaged the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “You’re Evan’s friend and I broke up with him. I didn’t expect you to stay in contact with me, Eddie. What do you want?”
“Buck told me about your … he called it one night stand,” Eddie said.
Tommy frowned. “Why would he do that?”
“Because I noticed his changed mood.” Tommy could practically hear Eddie rolling his eyes. “Of course, he first tried to distract me by telling me about how Maddie accused him of being in love with me. I have to admit, that bout of laughter was exactly what I needed after the days I’ve had.”
“Laughter?” Tommy asked incredulously.
“We had this conversation nearly a year ago, Tommy,” Eddie said, and Tommy couldn’t help but feel scolded. “We talked about people making this assumption about us and there being no truth at all to it. So, was this some kind of self-sabotage when you offered Buck a second chance and then turned around to call me some kind of competition when you know how much bullshit that is?”
Tommy swallowed. “No, it wasn’t. Why are we talking about this, Eddie? I think at this point, Evan and I have said everything there is to say.”
Eddie huffed. “You really haven’t. You made some dumb-ass comment about me being some kind of competition which I know you don’t mean. And Buck lashed out because he was hurt by you implicating you had practically been waiting all along for him to move on from you to me.”
“Everyone else seems to expect that practically at every moment,” Tommy said, feeling bitter and still disappointed about that whole situation.
“Who is ‘everyone else’ here, Tommy?” Eddie asked with a huff. “Why should the opinion of ‘everyone else’ matter more than Buck’s opinion about that?”
“I’m not sure you’re aware of Evan’s opinion,” Tommy muttered under his breath.
“Because all he told you was that I’m straight and his best friend?” Eddie asked.
“Doesn’t say much about how he feels,” Tommy said and dragged his fingers through this. “I’ve been down that very ill-advised road of falling for a straight friend before.”
Eddie hummed. “And what did you do in those situations?”
“Put some distance between us so I could get over the crush.”
“Fair,” Eddie said. “What would Buck have to do to convince you he is not in love with me? Because he told Maddie point blank that he isn’t in love with me, and she didn’t believe him.”
Tommy shrugged and stayed silent. He had no idea how to answer that question. Evan hadn’t tried to tell him he wasn’t in love with Eddie and that was the point. But he had made it pretty clear how he felt about Tommy, so Tommy didn’t see any point in having this discussion with Eddie.
“Listen, Eddie,” Tommy said bitterly. “Evan has made it very clear that whatever affection he might have once had for me isn’t there anymore.”
Eddie groaned. “You’re both idiots and you really, truly deserve each other. You know he started baking to cope with you dumping him? Or rather, to hide and pour his heartbreak into something. He kept baking and baking and overfeeding everyone. When I left, he gave me a whole bag of my favorite cookies.”
Tommy frowned in confusion.
“And apparently,” Eddie continued without giving Tommy time to process, “he might have taken over my lease so I had a financial burden less, but he then proceeded to sleep at Maddie and Chimney’s place because he couldn’t bear sleeping in that house. Until the very night you spent there together. He didn’t outright tell me that, but I’m pretty sure he is clinging to that memory he has of you in the house despite the fight you had in the morning.”
Tommy inhaled sharply.
“I know I was a shitty friend to you after you dumped Buck,” Eddie said. “Buck can probably tell you some tales about me having moments about being a shitty friend in general. But I know that you know there is nothing romantic or sexual between Buck and me from either side. So, I want to know where this thought came from!”
“I already told you,” Tommy said.
Eddie huffed. “Who the hell is ‘everyone’?”
Tommy shrugged. “Everyone who knows you and Buck. Mostly Howie and Maddie, but there were comments from everyone who knows you two. There are apparently a number of bets about you two figuring out your shit and getting together.”
“I hope someone bet on ‘never’ and gets a lot of money,” Eddie muttered darkly. “What did they tell you, other than sharing their insane bets with you?”
“What does it matter?” Tommy asked.
“It matters because right now Buck should be making plans about how to convince you to fix this mess the two of you created in a way that makes that second chance you offered possible,” Eddie said. “But that means you need to get your head out of your ass and forget what other people told you. So, step 1 for that is to talk it through with me. Step 2 will be to discuss all those nasty thoughts and fears with Buck, and I’ll happily not be part of that.”
Tommy huffed. “Once more, what is there to discuss?”
“So, what exactly did Maddie and Chimney tell you?” Eddie asked.
Tommy rolled his eyes. “That they had thought I wasn’t stupid enough to fall in love with Evan knowing full well that he’d eventually break my heart when you and Evan finally realized you were madly in love with each other.”
Eddie had the audacity to laugh. “I’m sorry, I know for you this is probably horrible, but I just can’t wrap my head around them being so convinced they know so much better what Buck and I are to each other than we do.”
Tommy knew it had always felt condescending for him. Talking about it with Eddie now suddenly made him doubt why he had ever let it get to him as much as it had.
“Okay.” Eddie cleared his throat and seemed to make a very concentrated effort to keep his laughter down to a low chuckle. “When Buck shows up, listen to him. And then tell him about this stunt Maddie and Chimney have pulled. I have no idea what they thought they’d get from it, but don’t try to manage Buck’s anger at them. He’ll have to sort out that situation with his sister himself.”
“You really think Evan will show up here?” Tommy asked, hating how weak his voice sounded even to himself.
“Yes,” Eddie promised. “And I don’t know if he’ll come up with some grand gesture to apologize or if he will just suddenly stand in front of your house and just ramble through all the thoughts rattling around in his head. But he’ll be there. And I need you guys to fix this. You both need to get over your insecurities and finally talk to each other.”
Tommy sighed deeply and closed his eyes. He wanted to curse Eddie out for waking that kind of hope in him, but he choked up on the words. He could still call Eddie back and curse him out if his words turned out to be a lie.
But for now, Tommy knew he’d be waiting for Evan to knock on his door.