Chapter Text
Joseph: JONATHAN JOESTAR
Jonathan: ?!!!!
Jonathan: yes!!?
Jotaro: woah what
Josuke: 👀👀👀whats happening
Jolyne: Drama?! Jona never gets into drama?!👀👀
Jotaro: apart from that one thanksgiving
Joseph: no sorry wait
Joseph: JONATHAN “JOHNNY” JOESTAR
Josuke: ahhhh makes sense
Jolyne: What happened
Jonathan: oh dear, Johnny is everything okay
Johnny: 🙁
Joseph: really?!! Again?!
Jotaro: spit it out whats happening bro
Johnny: H
Johnny: hospital
Josuke: AGAIN???💀
Jolyne: BROOOO PLS🪦
Joseph: DAWGGG
Johnny: 🙁
Giorno: whats all the spam for
Jolyne: hey gio, johnnys in hospital again
Giorno: johnny 😭😭
Jonathan: how do you manage
Jonathan: is there anyone there with you?? I can leave work early
Johnny: dont worry joseph is here :>
Joseph: i almost shit my pants when your school called holy shit
Jotaro: what even happened
Johnny: ion wanna talk ab it
Jonathan: oh johnny :(
Josuke: you weren’t trying to do that stupid trick with gyro again were you😮💨😮💨😮💨
Johnny: what no
Johnny: what trick
Johnny: no i did not
Giorno: you’re an awful liar
Johnny: I DID NO SUCH THING
Jolyne: the horseriding one??? Dawg nahhh
Jonathan: sigh.
Johnny: I DIDNTTT I SWEAR THAT WAS ONE TIMEEE.
Jotaro: right…
Joseph: ok yall stop now
Johnny: i just fell off of slow dancer bc fuckin diego messed with the saddle again😒
Johnny: im fine yall
Josuke: WHAT
Johnny: does that count as a murder attempt lol
Joseph: ??!!! YES???
Jotaro: im going to literally kill that guy what are his co ordinates
Johnny: Do not, ill have no one to bully in class
Jonathan: I’ll be having a chat with Dio about this. Are you injured?
Johnny: just a concussion its all good
Jolyne: why did we all come out this way
Jolyne: this is like when Joesph almost got his hand decapitated and tried to walk it off
Johnny: good thing i can’t walk
Josuke: HELPPPPP💀
Jotaro: you were asking for that
Joseph: johnny ily ❤️
Jolyne: iam so sorry i didn’t mean it like that❤️
Johnny: repent by doing my hw and ill forgive you
Jolyne: asshole
Johnny: i am a good role model🙏
Giorno: can confirm
Giorno: i am learing lots🤔
Josuke: johnny you’re the coolest older brother ever
Johnny: yes worship me
Johnny: also do my history homework please
Jonathan: everyone please do not do his work
Johnny: but i cba 🙁
Joseph: oh gyros texting me hes almost here
Joseph: do u want me to leave
Jolyne: oooh la laaaa
Johnny: die
Johnny: no its okay joseph im leaving anyway
Joseph: what
Joseph: where are you going?? I’m in the same room as you i can see you are definitely not moving
Johnny: im going to dreamland, my sweet big brother🕊
Joseph: JOHNNY NO
Joseph: STAY AWAKE
Johnny: see u on the other side
Giorno: What a menace
Jonathan: Joseph do not let him fall asleep please
Joseph: dont worry gyro basically broke the door down and now theyre in a disgustingly cute embrace
Joseph: img.1 [gyro hugging johnny, who jas his middle finger up at the camera]
Josuke: EWWWWW
Jotaro: I hate happy couples😒
Johnny: not a couple
Jotaro: go back to snogging
Johnny: whatevs
Jolyne: wait are you and gryo for real not dating
Jolyne: i thought that was a bit
Josuke: thats what they say but like
Josuke: we all have eyes
Johnny: with my eyes i observed you and okuyasu making out in the geography hall last week
Josuke: WHAT NO
Josuke: how about that time you and gyro literally were spooning on the couch when i got back from school
Johnny: you do not want to play this game with me
Johnny: i have video proof of a little something
Josuke: you wouldn’t.
Jotaro: LMAOOOO
Johnny: jotaro
Johnny: football field, january 18th, 6pm
Jotaro: oh no.
Jotaro: i
Jotaro: i dont know what you mean
Johnny: 🙂
Joseph: stop terrorising our younger brothers joejoe
Johnny: sorry its so fun
Johnny: img.2 [screenshot of johnnys camera roll- it has various folders named after the jojos with blackmail photos]
Johnny: I have blackmail folders on all of you LOL
Jolyne: that is so concerning
Joseph: WHY ARE THERE SOMANY
Jolyne: i forget you’re an asshole tbh youre so polite most of the time
Giorno: he is very polite to me i can confirm
Johnny: thank you Giorno youre my fav nephew ❤️
Joseph: the nurse said we’re free to go
Joseph: see yall at home
Jonathan-Johnny
Jonathan: Hey i just wanted to check in, are you sure you’re okay?
Johnny: i think so
Johnny: sorry for being an ass
Jonathan: not at all, you know we were all teasing
Johnny: yeah :)
Jonathan: please stay safe. Are there any other injuries aside from concussion?
Johnny: apparently i have a sprained ankle but like
Jonathan: right
Jonathan: still, we’ll be careful
Johnny: i dont need you to treat me like glass just coz im in a wheelchair
Jonathan: No not at all!! I only meant that i care for you
Johnny: hhhh sorry i guess im not in a good mood
Johnny: sorry jona, i know, i appreciate that
Jonathan: love you, see you at home x
Giorno: image.3 png. A few jojos all crammed onto the couch, sleeping
-⋆｡°✩-
Jotaro: who
Jotaro:img.4 (Joraro's hand holding a broken piece of glass)
Jotaro: who did this
Jolyne: 🤐
Joseph: what even is that
Jotaro: that is my expertly handcrafted limited edition glass paper weight that i payed a ridiculous amount of money for
Jotaro: jolyne.
Jolyne: 🤐
Johnny: yikes
Johnny: at least it looks like a clean break, i can get someone to fix that
Jotaro: when i find you
Jotaro: trust. You will be dealt with.
Johnny: went out shopping with gyro and jonathan and some old lady came up to us and asked if i was their disabled daughter.
Johnny: crying.
Joseph: 😭😭😭
Josuke: its the luscious hair and the long wye lashes
Johnny: im going to defy the laws of nature and kick the next person who walks up to me like that in their balls
Josuke: what if they dint have balls
Johnny: vag kick
Johnny: idc
Johnny: next person is eating shit
Jotaro: how is your concussion
Johnny: its fineeee
Johnny: your paperweight thing, whered you get it from?
Jotaro: ordered it from an online store :(
Johnny: right
Joseph: we'll find the culprit, joot ❤️
Josuke: it was obviously jolyne r u kidding
Jotaro: :( nori helped me pick it out :(
Jonathan: im so sorry Jotaro we will fix it and buy you a new one!!
Jonathan: sorry about the old lady johnny 😭 old people have no chill sometimes
Johnny: how do i fix this
Jolyne: step 1- get good
Johnny: too bad i can't takr steps
Johnny: as i can't walk
Jolyne: 😭😭😭😭😭
Jotaro: again, you dug your own grave there
Josuke: damn.
Johnny: ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Johnny: actually Step one is to loose the Wheelchair
Joseph: whatever you're planning stop rn
Josuke: look ehat you've done… Youve made joseph be responsible
Jolyne: once in a lifetime experience
Joseph: HEY >:(
Joseph: i was responsible when
Joseph: whennn
Jolyne: yeah have a think about that buddy
Jolyne: let us know if you think of something
Josuke: who stole my nail polish
Jolyne: 🤐
Josuke: why are you incapable of staying out of my shit
Jolyne: its such a good brand though
Josuke: yeah and its MINE???
Jolyne: pretty please :(
Josuke: girl this is why you went to juvie😒
Josuke: i'm throwing your ass back in the slammer
Jolyne: i already told yall the charges were fakeeeee
Joseph: I definitely believe you
Jotaro: as do i
Johnny: i have full faith you are completely Innocent
Johnny: gy wants his lipstick back btw
Jolyne: tell him to kiss my ass its mine now
Johnny: 🫡
Jolyne: WHY IS HE CALLING ME HELP HELP HELP
Jolyne: GUYSSSD HOW DIES HE HAVE MY NUMBER
Johnny: sorry sis its the consequences of your actions
Jotaro: you had it coming bitch
Jonathan: what did we say about the b word
Jotaro: no disrespecting women….fine….
Jonathan: Please return your brother's and Gyro’s cosmetic items
Jolyne: fineee :(((
Giorno: narancia wants his lip gloss back
Jolyne: icl i dont remember taking anyones lip gloss
Giorno: Damn.
Joseph: GIOGIO
Giorno: haiii
Joseph: everyones fav nephew
Joseph: ur Like barely online what are you up to
Giorno: nothing in particular
Giorno: im just not chronically online
Joseph: damnn.
Joseph: all of this ohio rizzler gyatt buisness has me dead tbh i cant understand you kids anymore
Joseph: in my day we used to have fart noises and gangnam style
Josuke: ok grandpa
Jolyne: you have GYATT to see this hot lady In my class 🤤
Josuke: thabks i hated that
Johnny: whats the rizzler
Joseph: 😔
Josuke: gyro rizzes you uo if yk what Im saying
Johnny: i do not
Jolyne: moving swiftly on
Johnny: 😒
Jolyne: guys i actually do have a hot woman in my homeroom
Jolyne: shes so fine
Josuke: talk to her
Jolyne: she has green lipstick……..so stylish
Jotaro: 💀
Josuke: whats with joestars and having a thing for green Lipstick
Josuke: first johnny now jolyne
Joseph: its an epidemic
Joseph: jolyne why dont you ask her out
Jolyne: ur so right that way i can stop taking gyros lipstick i can use hers instead
Jolyne: fuck im actually so nervous to approach her though
Giorno: go up to her and ask what shade shes wearing, say it suits her eyes or something
Jolyne: why is my 15 yr old nephew giving me genius advice
Giorno: its how bruno and abbitchio got together
Josuke: ABBITCHIO IM DEAD
Giorno: he deserves it
Giorno: also how pucci tried seducing my dad
Jotaro: ew
Jotaro: how long was dios sentence again
Jonathan: its a while
Jonathan: dont worry about it
Jonathan: i went to see him yesterday, @johnny, he said hed talk to diego
Johnny: I literally dont care ill just beat his ass next time i see him
Joseph: good example to set
Johnny: always
Jolyne: Ive been thinking
Josuke: dangerous…..dont do that…
Jolyne: stfu
Jolyne: ive been thinking. Johnny you and Gyro are like. Broke back mountain
Josuke: HELLLPPPPPPP
Giorno: The gay cowboys???
Johnny: girl what
Johnny: broke back . Wh
Johnny: am i missing context ir simething
Jolyne: giogio said it, the gay cowboys
Johnny: i am not a cowboy
Johnny: gyro is not my boyfriend
Josuke: pls . Pls. Pls.
Johnny: we went on a long race ONCE
Jotaro: televised
Joseph: worldwide
Jolyne: whole world saw yall snuggling
Johnny: i am going to bed bye
Jolyne: its 3 pm
Johnny: 🛌
Josuke: bitchhh
Joseph: Giorno why did i just see your weird little gang tie someone down and perform some sort of ritualistic dance
Giorno: interrogation
Joseph: what.
Giorno: Dont worry about it
Joseph: i am worrying a lot
Giorno: its fine theyre just having fun!!
Jotaro: you might’ve Inherited your dads idea of fun
Giorno: noooo i dont partake in vehicular manslaughter
Giorno: or attempted World domination
Giorno: or aggravated assault and battery
Giorno: or
Jotaro: point taken
Jolyne: GIOGIO JT WORK ED
Jolyne: SHE SAID SHED TAKE ME TO TGE SHOP SHE BUYS HER MAKE UP FORM AFTER SCHOOL
Giorno: :3