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Yeosang was terrible at remembering stuff. You’d tell him something and the chances of him forgetting it in the next five seconds were as high as his general grades in school. The Dory jokes were inevitable, but something that had always hurt him was forgetting memories with his friends.
“I still remember when San went against this pole.”
“When was that?” He’d ask like he always did.
It would kickstart a round of never-ending jokes about how Yeosang is always forgetful. How he only remembered his friends because he saw them everyday. Sayings that have long known by the eight friends for a long time.
For his 17th birthday, San decided to get him a digital camera, so he wouldn’t ‘forget the last school year with everyone together’.
—
“Is it filming? ” Wooyoung’s voice is heard from afar. He was going out with Yeosang, and they had decided to try out the camera before inevitably taking it to the school grounds.
“Yes .”
“Okay, so do I just act like we’re filming a Youtube video? ”
“I guess, but less performative.”
"You know, I find it very funny that San got you this for your birthday.”
“Why? ”
“It’s just rather cute. He got you a camera.”
The camera angle is lowered, and the confusion in Yeosang’s voice becomes more pronounced. “I like the camera. That way I can look back to moments with you guys.”
“I know. It’s like a phone doesn’t exist.”
“Oh, shut up. It was thoughtful.”
“It is thoughtful!”
“… I’m deleting your little video now.”
“No! How are you supposed to remember your best friend ever Jung Wooyou—“
The group was playing an extra intense game of UNO. Hongjoong had borrowed Yeosang’s camera to film the match, for the memories, since he didn’t feel like playing the game in itself.
Yeosang had only one card left, and everyone was trying to find a way to stop him from winning the round.
“San! Please! Tell me you can jump his turn!” Wooyoung asks exasperated.
“I have nothing!”
“Can anyone change the order?!” Yunho questions. Silence answered him.
“Let’s hope he doesn’t have the color!” Mingi says with finality.
Yeosang would end up winning the game.
As they continued to see who ended up as the master loser, the winner leaned onto San’s shoulder, looking at his cards. Hongjoong noticed a certain confusion air start to form from Yeosang, so he went to see San’s cards.
The camera captures a hand that had a block card, and a plus four card. San could have stopped Yeosang from winning, but had chosen not to.
“Simp,” Hongjoong muttered under his breath.
Seonghwa had stolen the camera when his friend hadn’t been looking. He had a very important interaction to film, and couldn’t be found fetching the small item. He walked to the staircase, close to a big window that gave a view of the playground, where he met Wooyoung.
“You have it? ” Wooyoung asks when he sees the elder approach him.
“Yes. Where are they? ”
“Over there.”
The camera catches San and Yeosang at the playground. The younger one sat, with the elder resting his head on San’s lap. San carefully brushed Yeosang’s hair. They looked like they were having an intimate moment that Wooyoung and Seonghwa were not about to interrupt, but it still amused them seeing the situation.
“This couple's ass behavior,” Wooyoung comments.
“Do they know that they are dating?”
“We wish.”
“Sangie, can I borrow your camera as we go look for the ball?” Yunho asks, as he already hits the record button.
“Sure? But why?”
“What if San falls? I want that on tape.”
“I’m not going to fall!”
“You never know.”
The two friends start walking up to where San had accidentally hit the ball too far. The school football court was close to vegetation, so, most of the time, students would, by accident, shoot a ball there and have to pick it up.
“Seriously dude, unnecessary.”
“It was an accident!” San whined.
“Yeah, and now look where the ball is.”
“...Yeosangie looks pretty from here.”
“Now what the fuck.”
“What? ”
“You can barely see the guy from here!” Yunho pans the camera to the mentioned man, unable to accurately capture his face.
San shrugs. “I bet he looks pretty."
“Okay— ”
“Yeosang-ie is mine,” San said as he walked around with the camera. The friend group was at an aquarium, as a hangout that they enjoyed doing when possible. “ He is mine to kiss, and to hug. ”
“Leave the love confessions for the altar.”
“Mingi.”
“What?”
“Can’t a guy be passionate about his love for his friend?”
“I fucking hate you guys.”
“You’re so rude!”
“Love, look! A sunfish!” Yeosang says in the distance, which immediately catches San’s attention and brings him closer to the other male. The two had gained the habit of calling each other by sweet nicknames.
“Wow, it looks so pretty.”
“They are still going at it with the nicknames?” Hongjoong asks in the background, to which Jongho answers.
“Yup.”
“Hello video, Yeosang and San are at it again,” Mingi announces as he turns the camera to his friends.
They were at a beach. The two friends sat a bit farther away from the group, watching the waves crash, as if they hadn’t come with six other people. Yeosang’s head rested on San’s shoulder.
“They look cute though,” Seonghwa says.
“Yeah, but we are all third-wheeling the couple now.”
Wooyoung paroled around with the camera, enjoying the different settings and capturing the school through the lenses.
“Dude, this camera is pretty cool, I might get one as well,” he comments.
Once he notices that he is not being heard, he turns around to look at his friends. He catches San back hugging his best friend, about to give him a cheek kiss. Yeosang, in the meantime, looked completely unfazed by the other male’s antics.
“Wow, if it was me, your ass would be screaming.”
“What?” Yeosang asks, confused.
“Nothing.”
“—t worry about it. You’ll do better on the next one.”
The camera shows Jongho in one moment, but in the next, it shows San hugging Yeosang tightly. The elder was having a hard time calming down, and his friends around him looked at the two of them with worried expressions at the clear stress Yeosang was going through.
“It’s going to mess my—“
“No, it won’t. You’ll make it up. It’s just a bad grade, don’t stress too much about it, okay?”
“It’s going to constantly be there bringing my grade down.”
“It won’t.”
“It will.”
“Dude, Jongho, turn it off,” Yunho taps him, a warning in his whispered voice to not disrupt the moment going on.
“Sorry…”
Yeosang took a moment.
“What…?”
He had just spent the past hour skimming through all the footage on his long-lost high school camera. Every single video, he had watched it.
He was solely cleaning his house, and trying to get rid of unwanted stuff when he found the camera, abandoned inside a box. He had thought that it would be a good idea to look through it and see what he and his friends had recorded throughout the last year of high school. Maybe he could even send some to their group chat with one of those ‘look what I found’ texts. But that was not what had awaited Yeosang. Instead of heartfelt moments with his friends, he was struck with videos on videos of him and San being close in, as his friends described multiple times, a ”couple way”.
He was unable to depict what emotion to take over him first. He had the camera for years and owned the footage for almost a decade, yet he had never had the urge to peek into what he and his friends had filmed in high school. It had taken him years to pick the camera up again rewatch everything, and remember. He felt ashamed. The objective of the camera was to remember stuff, yet he had forgotten about it completely.
Throughout his childhood years, he had been unaware of the difference in treatments, and how it was perceived by other people. Now that it was all put out to him on a silver platter, he couldn’t deny the reality of his acts getting to him. He needed to make a call to organize his mind.
“Hey.”
“You’re suspicious, what’s wrong?” Wooyoung immediately asks him.
“Clocked me just like that. Damn.”
“My tea?”
“Okay, so. Do you perhaps remember that camera San gave me our senior year?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Sangie, you didn’t hear this from me, but everyone is kinda waiting for an update on the camera stuff. Continue.”
“I’m… wow. Anyways, I found the camera today—“
“FUCKING FINALLY!”
“Let me finish!”
“Be quick!”
“Who was gonna tell me that me and San acted like we fucking dated?”
“I’m gonna be so honest with you, we all thought you two were together until, like, 10th grade.”
“You’re joking.”
“Wish I was.”
“We have always been just friends!”
“Unfortunately, I had to pay Mingi for that one.”
“Wooyoung.”
“Listen, how does this discovery make you feel?”
“I— I don’t know? I never really looked at us that way…”
“I hear a “but” coming.”
“... but also this view kinda explains some stuff with San.”
“What type of stuff?”
“In general. I’m just more accepting of San… like, you’re my best friend, but I’d never let you do some things San does.”
“I know. I’ve seen it for myself.”
“It’s just… this is making me realize stuff.”
“And what will you be doing about it?”
“I don’t know.”
Wooyoung lets out a loud sigh on the other end of the line, and Yeosang is sure he is making a displeased face. “Really?”
“What?”
“This is the most disappointing update to the long most awaited romcom.”
“Woo—“
“No, no, no. Yeosang, you have fucking CHOI SAN at your display, probably wanting to worship you like the god you are and your response is to “I don’t know”?”
“I need to digest the information!”
“Man up!”
It took him the rest of the day to think about what to do. He finished his cleaning day normally, thinking and thinking about what would be the best solution to his newfound knowledge.
He lay on his bed, back down, camera in hands repeating the videos he had seen just that morning.
“Yeosangie looks pretty from here—” the next one “Yeosang-ie is mine. He is mine to kiss, and to hug—” and again “Yeosang-ie is mine. He is mine to kiss, and to hug—” and again, and again, and again. It would take him about ten minutes to notice he had been repeating the same video for a while, the same phrase, the same words, with a smile on his face.
He liked having San say that he was his. He was San’s .
biter
Should I talk to him? ‘:D
Bitch
If you don’t
Heard.
It was just a message.
It was just a message. He doesn’t need to overthink how to write it if he should send it. It was just a message. A button to press. He was just nervous because he knew something San didn’t. There was no need for all this theatrics when sending a text to a friend that you discover that you may like a little bit more than you should.
my love sanie <3
Sanie, I was cleaning my house
when I found the camera that you
gave me senior year.
Whaaaaat
Oh my god
I COMPLETELY forgot about it
Me too T^T.
Oh, that’s okay, don’t worry
about it, it was just a camera
That you gave me! I feel bad.
But now you can look back and
see all the memories you forgot!
It’s even cooler now!
Oh! Right!
I haven’t done it yet, maybe we
can meet tomorrow and see it
together? Pick some and send to
the group chat .,.
OOOOO
YES
I LIKE IT
—
Yeosang sat in the park, watching the people pass around as he waited for San. The camera rested in his hand, and he carefully played with it around. Holding the camera up, he turned the camera on and hit the record button.
“I’m meeting Sanie today at the park, today is beautiful…” he showed the park around. “San is also beautiful. I’m talking with him today about the videos on the camera. It’s weird. Hmm… ah, Sanie’s coming.”
The camera turns to show San approaching Yeosang. Once he understands that he is being filmed, he starts walking a bit faster, wiggling, just to steal a laugh from the elder. Yeosang quickly ends the recording.
“That’s something I haven’t seen in a while.”
“Well, we graduated years ago.”
“You look pretty today. I mean, you always do, but you look extra pretty right now. I think it’s the sun.”
Yeosang can feel the shyness form from within him, a small flower growing, until it reaches the sky. He had always received these types of comments, but this time they felt different because a new emotion had been discovered. He feels the heat coming, to which he could blame the weather, but he knows that it would be bullshit.
“You also look pretty today,” it’s the only thing Yeosang can answer.
“No! You’re so much prettier and cuter.”
“Stop!”
“C’mon, I bet you look pretty in the videos.”
“Ah, yes. The videos. Should we see them?”
“Of course.”
San looked very serious to the camera, unmoving. No piece of hair was out of place, no movement when he breathed, nothing. He was as still as a statue as Yeosang turned the camera off. The lighthearted, excited, ambient that was before they started watching the footage was long gone, substituted by the rough, awkward mood that now surrounded them.
Yeosang almost regretted everything. Showing the videos, being here with San, maybe it was better to keep this to himself and die with this secret. He wanted to give San his moment to digest everything, but the silence was also eating him alive.
“San?”
“Let’s go for a walk.” He stands up, not looking at Yeosang, as if his existence is unimportant, and the only thing that the elder can do is accept it.
The walk was painfully uncomfortable. This has been the most distant the two of them have been, walking with space between them, not talking, not touching, just bleak awkwardness between them.
Yeosang wanted to ask what was going on in San’s mind since he seemed to be in a deep meditation state ever since they started the leg exercise, but, at the same time, he didn’t want to bother the other. He just walked, looking at the scenery, trying to distract himself from what he deemed the biggest mistake he ever made.
He must hate me now. He’s probably thinking of a way to slowly put me down to try to not hurt me . San is caring, he would never try to intentionally hurt Yeosang, if he didn’t feel the same way as him, he’d probably have to tone down the caresses that they shared so much. I will miss those . He will miss the essence of San, of their relationship before this. Maybe he should just say sorry and go home, he ruined everything. It would be the better choice after everything.
When he is about to apologize for everything, a hand snakes around his waist, bringing his body closer to San’s. When the two bodies clash against each other, Yeosang feels his stomach give him a funny feeling.
“Sorry for the silence, I know you don’t like it that much from me.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not, 'cause now you’re sad and it’s my fault.”
“It’s my fault.”
“Why would it be your fault?”
“Well, you’re annoyed at m–”
“I’m not annoyed.”
“... you’re not?”
“No. Why would I?”
“Because of the videos.”
“What’s wrong with the videos?”
“I– I don’t know–, maybe you’re uncomfortable now and don’t want to be around me anymore because of what they say about us.”
San watched Yeosang ramble away his feelings with a soft smile on his face. Was he particularly paying attention to what the elder was saying? No, but that wasn’t necessary, no matter what was Yeosang’s topic of conversation, it wouldn’t determine San’s final decision. His brain had pinpointed its target, and it wouldn’t stop until it caught it.
Whilst still talking about his feelings, Yeosang feels an unfamiliar set of lips softly touching his own, inevitably shutting his train of thought immediately. He was caught off guard, so he grabbed San to certify that he wasn’t feeling things, that it was his friend kissing him right now. Kissing him in the softest way someone could to the one they love. It made Yeosang feel like he was the only person in the world.
When San pulls back, Yeosang dumbly tries to follow his lips to no avail. “Does that answer your worries? I can do it again if it doesn’t.”
Yeosang feels his cheeks burn up, his first response being to hide himself in San’s chest. “It answers… but I do want another.”
There’s a chuckle from over his head before he feels his lips getting company again.
—
The camera angle is adjusted, showing Yeosang and San together at the beach. The couple played around with the waves, laughing, unaware of the six pairs of eyes staring at them.
“Years later, after being fucking married, and they are still at it,” Seonghwa complains as he zooms into the couple.
“C’mon, it was cute seeing them be clueless about it,” Wooyoung jokes as he shoves the elder.
“No, it wasn’t! Admit it, you wanted to hit your head against the wall whenever they did some romantic shit and were like ‘I love you, dude’.”
“Don’t remind me of the dude phase.”
“Right! You’re only thinking about the nicknames!”
“Cringy as fuck.”
“And we had to fucking deal with that while they were friends—”
“Why are you two shit-talking behind our backs?” San asks as he and Yeosang return to their friends.
“It’s our love language,” Wooyoung says, teasingly.
“You two have so much in common. You should kiss,” Yeosang says, jokingly, which gets a reaction from Yunho and Hongjoong.
“Fuck no!”
“Over my dead body.”