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It was sort of a weird day. When Mikan woke up, she could tell something was off, but she was used to it. She could just pretend it was okay, not that she had a reputation of being emotionally stable. No one would notice that she’s feeling worse today.
Well, that’s what Mikan thought. Ibuki could always pick up on it, though. Somehow, Ibuki could notice the smallest shifts in Mikan’s mood and she never shamed her for her mood swings. That’s not something the nurse was used to, but she was learning that she deserves to be loved.
Today, her mood was really unstable. She felt like crying all the time and got mad over the littlest things.
When everyone was sitting in the cafeteria and eating breakfast, she looked at them and played with the cereal floating around the bowl in front of her. She couldn’t bring herself to eat, she didn’t feel like she deserves it. When Mahiru asked her if she’s alright, she screamed that’s she’s fine, as if that would convince anyone, and stormed out of the room.
When she was restocking some of her supplies and Hajime offered to bring her some bandages she was missing. When he returned, it turned out he brought a wrong type and Mikan blew up at him, only to cry and apologize a moment later.
Hajime went back to his cottage and passed Ibuki on his way. She knew he was helping Mikan, so seeing his defeated expression made her worried.
„Hajime! Why the long face?” She asked him, trying to seem as carefree as possible.
„Oh, uh, hi Ibuki. Mikan yelled at me because I brought a wrong type of bandage, then she started crying and apologizing. I didn’t really know how to calm her down…”
That made Ibuki even more worried. She decided to go to the hospital where Mikan was and check up on her. She walked as fast as she could until she finally reached her destination.
She was walking through the halls and as she was about to call out the nurse’s name, she heard quiet sobbing. There was only one girl who could be crying here.
Ibuki picked up her pace and she quickly found the one she was looking for on the floor of one of the procedure rooms.
„Hey, Mikan?” Ibuki said softly, so that she wouldn’t startle her. As she got closer, she noticed that Mikan’s arms were bleeding. Turned out her gut feeling was right again.
Mikan flinched a bit when she heard the other girl’s voice, mostly because she didn’t want her to find her in this state. There was nothing she could really do at that point though, so she just waited until Ibuki crouched next to her.
„It’s okay Mikan! Ibuki knows you can’t help it sometimes… Why don’t you sit on the chair and then Ibuki can help patch you up?”
„B-but… I’m the nurse…” Mikan protested.
„I know! But it wouldn’t hurt to let others help you too, you know. Ibuki isn’t as good as you, but I think Ibuki watched you clean my wounds and scratches enough times to know what to do now!” Ibuki reasoned, which made Mikan fold and try to get up from the floor, so Ibuki helped her stand up.
Mikan was still crying a bit. Ibuki took a tissue and started drying her tears, which startled her a little. Do I really deserve to be cared for this much? she thought. However, Ibuki never seemed to approach her with pity or disappointment, just pure… love?
„Where are all the things i need?” Ibuki asked, since that is way easier than just looking for everything herself. The nurse would know best where it was placed, as she did it herself.
„Um… t-the top drawer…” she responded.
„Okay, Ibuki has got everything! I’ll clean your wounds first, alright?”
„O-okay…” It was nice that Ibuki asked and told her what she was doing. Mikan had issues with being in and out of control, which is the main reason that lead her to self harming anyway. She really appreciated that, somehow, Ibuki knew just how to make her feel safe.
It was the first time she ever let someone else take care of her cuts after a relapse, mostly because that was the first time someone found her directly after one. Ibuki was surprisingly really gentle, despite her usually being full of energy and a bit reckless, which is why Mikan had to patch her up so many times. The way she took care of the nurse made clear that she didn’t want to hurt her any further.
„Done! Now I’ll put some ointment on the wounds.”
Ibuki did as she said, but stopped as she felt Mikan flinch due to the medicine.
„Oh my gosh, Ibuki’s really sorry! Ibuki really didn’t mean to hurt Mikan!”
„N-no, Ibuki! I-it’s okay… It just s-stung a bit, you can continue.” Mikan assured, but Ibuki was still worried.
„Are you sure?”
„Yeah, you’re doing a really good job Ibuki…”
So Ibuki continued. She made sure she wasn’t hurting Mikan every time she touched her skin and was especially gentle.
„Alright, all that’s left now is bandages.” She said and proceeded to wrap the bandages tightly around Mikan’s arms. After that was done as well, she took her hands and held them tightly.
„Do you… wanna talk about how you feel?” Ibuki asked, with an expression that was probably the most unsure that Mikan has seen on her face yet.
„I-i just… I’m having a b-bad day, I suppose…”
„That’s okay! Sometimes it happens… But when it does, please come talk to Ibuki. Ibuki really hates to see you hurt yourself, okay Mikan?”
„O-okay…”
„But if you happen to hurt yourself… don’t blame yourself either. You can come to Ibuki for help too!”
Suddenly Mikan started crying again. Ibuki, while really caught of guard, hugged her tightly.
„What’s wrong? Did Ibuki say something bad?”
„N-no..! I-i’m j-just happy t-that you care f-for me s-so much…” Mikan said between sobs.
Ibuki just hugged her tighter in response and Mikan reciprocated it.