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Finn was nice, Eddie guesses. Sure, on paper, he was nice. And handsome. And a doctor. Something about that last part especially annoyed him because he felt like he could compete with that. Which, in itself, was ridiculous to even think about, because he’s never been in a competition for Evan Buckley’s time and attention (at least, not that he was aware of). Except now, he felt like he was.
It's because Buck was brave and beautiful and bisexual and he’s in a phase of discovery and freedom like never before. Shedding the weight of one Thomas Kinard has done wonderful things for Buck–it’s given him a chance to really sit with his identity and test the waters. He goes on dates and is able to take a step back and see if a second date is worth it-–to see if he truly sees a future with the person across the table and not let the overwhelming sensation of a first kiss dictate the next six months.
Eddie hates when they make it past the first date. Because Eddie is Eddie–he’s complicated and broken and he’s an extremely jealous person who needs to figure his shit out with meditation and therapy and a bunch of stuff he grew up being told was make-believe. On top of that, it’s been a hard enough year–he wasn’t exactly looking to add more emotional baggage. The idea of telling Buck he was loved in a way that surpasses friendship and running the risk of rejection might actually be like using a sledge hammer on an ice cube. No, thanks.
So Buck dates and Eddie pines and tries to be a better dad and be a good friend.
Eddie thinks Finn is fine .
“He had just finished a ten hour operation–said it was the most complex one of his career so far. It’s just…it’s so cool–it’s not something I can just look up, you know? I just wish I could be in the operating room with him,” Buck looks fondly down at the salad he’s tossing, and Eddie’s teeth threaten to shatter as he bites down hard. From the corner of his eye, he can see his teenager look up at him with a suspicious look as he types away at his laptop, doing his homework.
“Yeah, he sounds like a great guy–I’m glad you guys are having a good time getting to know one another,” he says, lying like a liar who lies.
Buck nods and smiles, setting the bowl aside. “Yeah, he’s so busy, and I’m so busy with work and stuff that it’s hard to book dates, but I think we’ll aim for Saturday–catch a movie or something,” When Christopher perks up to speak, Eddie quickly shuts him down with a look, which makes him roll his eyes and look back at his work with Buck oblivious to the exchange. “Was I supposed to add lemon, or lime juice to this?” Buck asks as he pats himself down, looking for his phone.
“It’s on the table in the living room,” Both Diazes say in unison.
“Ah,” Buck says, clapping his hands and smiling. “Be right back.”
Once he was out of the room, Christopher turns to Eddie. “Dad, Saturday is when you guys were supposed to go to that new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try. It was literally the first thing you said when I asked if I could stay over at Parker’s,” he says in a hushed tone.
Eddie, trying to seem aloof and nonchalant, merely shrugs. “It’s fine. Plan’s change.”
“For some guy? A guy who he’s probably not going to end up with ‘cause they barely see each other as it is?”
Eddie signs, setting his hand on top of Christopher’s mop of hair and ruffling it. “It’s okay, bud. We’re supporting him, right? That’s what matters.”
Buck comes back into the kitchen just in time, clapping his hands together again. “I knew it–it was lemon. I really need to follow my gut more often.”
Eddie smiles fondly at him from where he was, poring over the bills and making sure everything squared off as Buck continued to prepare their dinner. “I don’t know anyone with better instincts than you, Buck.” Buck preens at the praise, Eddie knew he would. He knows Buck thrives off of reassurance and compliments and can only hope anyone lucky enough to be allowed in his orbit would catch on. The oven beeps behind him and he’s turning to put their salmon in. Eddie, unable to control his intrusive thoughts, looks down at Buck’s phone as it lights up.
Finn Hinge now
It’s a date ❤️
Eddie’s not quite sure he’s gonna be able to keep his food down.
“Okay, have a great time at Parker’s, mijo,” Eddie hugs Christopher back when he comes in for a hug.
“I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon–try not to get too bored,” he teases his dad, which Eddie receives happily and ruffles his hair, making Christopher groan and try to pull back. “Dad!”
“Don’t concern yourself with my boredom. I have a whole season of a telenovela to catch up and update your aunts on. I’m gonna have a blast.”
Christopher waves him off as he heads down the walk to where Parker and his dad were waiting for him. Eddie waves to Richard as he helps Christopher load his overnight bag into the trunk of their car, and he waits until the Mazda peels out of his driveway before shutting the door and being encased in the silence of his house. Just Eddie and his thoughts now. He decides to busy himself with some laundry and cleaning out the fridge, playing some Selena in his AirPods to block out any opportunity for his brain to think about Buck on a date.
Maybe it’s for the best–maybe one day, when Buck finds the one for him, Eddie can finally find closure and be comforted by the fact that someone could take care of the other man. Maybe then Eddie could try to move on.
He was in the middle of his off-pitch rendition of Bidi Bidi Bom Bom , yellow gloved hands pumping in front of him as he tosses some spoiled yogurt into the garbage, when Buck returns from his date earlier than expected. His sudden appearance has Eddie jumping, knocking over bottles of condiments and sending them tumbling to the floor.
“Buck! What the hell, man?!” Eddie holds a hand to his chest, feeling his heart beating through the rubber. Through the other’s amused smile, Eddie can sense that something was amiss with the other’s mood. “You’re done early–I thought you were catching the late showing?”
Buck just shrugs and finds his way to the island, sitting on a barstool and setting what looked to be take-out onto the countertop. “Yeah, I wasn’t really feeling it. I don’t think we were as good of a match as I was thinking.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Are you okay?” Eddie takes off his gloves and hangs them over the edge of the sink, putting his AirPods back in their case and pocketing them. He doesn’t like the sullen energy that is emanating from the other.
“Am I annoying?”
Oh, that was an unexpected question–about as unexpected as the pool of rage that suddenly awoke like a dormant volcano in his belly. “What? No, why would you ask that? What did he do?”
Buck chuckles, but he looks tired. “No, no–I’m probably overreacting. It’s just, I always ask him stuff about himself and his work, and he’s more than happy to tell me all about it, but when I talk about stuff I like, it feels like he zones out. Like, I was telling him about the game we went to and he just kind of went quiet while I talked. Then we somehow got back to talking about him, then it happened again.”
“You are not overreacting,” Eddie says, trying to keep his cool and not sound too agitated. Over the last several years, Eddie’s found Buck talking to be quite soothing. Not boring, not uninteresting, just comforting in the way he gets so enraptured in the subject. When Buck has quieted down, Eddie’s always encouraged him to continue, letting him know it was okay. He doesn’t understand how other people don’t feel the same. “I’m sorry, man. You don’t deserve to feel that.”
“Thanks, Eddie,” Buck says with a smile, already looking lighter. “Anyway, needless to say I wasn’t feeling like going to the movies after that. I didn’t mean to crash your party.”
“Oh yeah, a real rager going on, how dare you?” Eddie says with a fond smile and roll of his eyes. “No, I’m glad you’re here. I was about to turn on Nada Personal when I finished up cleaning, so if you wanna stick around for that?”
“You and your telenovelas,” he’s grinning now, shaking his head. “Sounds like a fun night–I’m in.”
“Great–you’re helping me fold laundry while we watch, though.” Eddie rolls his eyes as Buck exaggeratedly groans.
They spend the rest of the night with a domestic air around them, chattering on about how unrealistic plot points were while folding laundry. Buck had changed into spare sleep clothes he had at Eddie’s place just in case, mutually agreeing that they should definitely drink some beers and Buck should not drive back to his loft. If anyone ever asked, they would both deny it, but Buck was way more into these shows than Eddie was. The secret could be kept between them and Eddie's two sisters within the safety of their group chat.
He’s right where he needed to be after a date gone wrong. Eddie didn’t like Finn after all, and now he had reason not to.
Trina sounded fine . Buck was telling him about how they met at the gym, which makes Eddie sometimes hate Buck’s pursuit of self-improvement. This pursuit put him in front of people who wanted to make him theirs–how dare they. He imagines Buck at the gym, pumping iron and looking delectable and the throngs of people who would want a chance at him. S o yeah, Eddie listened while Buck listed all the commonalities they had–just like the good best friend he was–and she sounded perfectly fine .
That was, until Eddie found out her last name was Kulyk. Eddie’s made it his life mission to not let another “T.K.” derail Buck’s life. Buck, on the other hand, found it amusing. What are the chances, after all?
So when they were on their almost-nightly call, Eddie throwing some food onto a sheet pan so he could cook in bulk and get a few days of meals prepped while Buck got ready for this date, he simmers. He simmers with annoyance as Buck prattles on about yet another person who probably doesn't deserve him. He knows he was passing judgement way too early, he's not dumb. But he had the right to be wary, since Buck doesn't do a wonderful job of protecting his heart sometimes. So, after having heard enough, Eddie had the bright idea to throw a metal bowl onto the ground on purpose. It did the trick though, making enough of a noise that Buck could hear and ask him if he was okay.
“ Eddie?! Hey, can you hear me? ”
He stares at the call timer still ticking up, Buck’s handsome face illuminating his screen. He sounds so worried, it warms Eddie’s heart. Like a normal person, he cuts the call without a response. Shit. Now, what?
Eddie looks around, and sure enough, Buck tries to reach him again. He should answer–the normal response would be to answer and tell Buck he’s fine. Instead, he ignores the call and walks over to the loose shelf in his pantry and pulls it, sending canisters of pasta, flour and other goods tumbling to the floor. Because he knows . He knows Buck is now on his way–he’s avoiding looking at his phone because he knows Buck texted him that he’s running over. He’s not a monster, guilt fills him to the brim as he looks down at the mess with a sigh. Glass is part of the equation now. Not that he should’ve thought of scooping up spilled macaroni and putting it back in, but he most certainly couldn’t do it now that glass shards littered among the mess.
He should tell Buck he’s fine and to not worry about him–to go on his date and have a fun night and that he just dropped something and would expect an update post-date. Instead, like an idiot, he leans down to clean up the mess and in the fray, slices his palm open on a large glass shard. His head is a mess–he’s completely off-kilter and he knows it. He’s usually much more logical and level headed than this, what was the matter with him? He swears under his breath, moving to run his bleeding hand under the sink. At least he had his head on enough that he could figure out what to do from here–the cut, while long, was shallow and would heal. He would have to keep his hand gloved up on calls and probably while doing work around the house, and fully stretching out his palm was going to be uncomfortable for a while until it was fully healed, but those are the consequences of his actions, he supposed. Once washed through and he quickly examines it to see if there was any more debris, wincing as he pokes at the edges of the wound, he’s digging out the med kit he keeps in the kitchen for cooking related injuries, mentally preparing himself for the disinfectant sting.
He was in the middle of bandaging his hand up after thoroughly applying antiseptic to it, a fat wad of gauze right in his palm being secured with tape, when he heard Buck’s voice boom along with the sound of his front door hitting the wall. “Eddie? Eddie, are you–” Buck’s footsteps slow as he runs into the kitchen, examining the scene before him and finding Eddie’s eyes with his own wild ones. “Oh my God, what happened?!”
Suddenly, Buck was too close. For the first time since meeting him, the proximity is a little overwhelming for Eddie. The spice of his cologne, cologne that Eddie bought him as a birthday gift because the clean notes had immediately made him think of Buck, was filling his senses and he was losing whatever little focus he had.
“I’m okay,” he says, so quietly that he wasn’t sure if he actually said it or merely thought it.
“Eddie, you’re bleeding,” Buck exclaims, grabbing Eddie’s hand and watching as socks of red poked through. “What happened?”
“I–the shelf fell…” his voice is small–much smaller than he expected it to be. “I, the shelf fell and things broke.”
“Hey, hey. It’s okay, I’m here now, I’ll help.”
“No, wait–you have a date to get ready for! You’re going to be l–” before he could finish, Buck’s hand was raised, stopping him from continuing.
“Already cancelled,” Buck didn’t seem upset, or frustrated, or even sad. If anything, his tone was indicative of how easy the decision was for him. Like he wasn’t sure why Eddie was arguing it.
Eddie’s heartbeat quickens as he watches Buck find a broom and dustpan and start on cleaning up the mess.
“Thanks, Buck.”
“Of course!”
Eddie rubs his eyes, waking up with a start as he hears the sound of something noisy, whirring in the bones of the house. His heart races as he rushes out of bed, almost toppling over when his foot catches the corner of his sheets. It takes him a beat to loop around the house until he’s back in the kitchen, the sun too bright through the windows as he still tried to adjust to the daytime.
“ Let’s go down, to the Ozdust Ballroom ,” he hears Buck singing, earphones planted in his ear as he sets the drill down onto the island, smiling at Eddie when he sees him. He comes closer, taking Eddie’s hand and continuing to sing off-key. “ You’ll be happy to beeeee there. Dancing through life— ”
“What are you doing?” He asks, amused as Buck wiggles his hips and swings his arms around in tune to the song in his head.
“I’m fixing that shelf—should’ve done it years ago,” he’s still jiving and Eddie is happy to accept an earphone, listening along with him and dancing to the Wicked song.
“You really didn’t have to do that—thank you, for everything.”
“You really don’t have to thank me. I’m happy to make your life easier.”
Evan Buckley makes everything about life easy.
“Well then finish up—there’s a stack of waffles at your favorite breakfast spot waiting for us, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“You drive a hard bargain, Diaz,” Buck winks and turns his attention back to the shelf, pushing down hard on it to test its strength.
“Oh, did you postpone your date with Trina?”
“Oh, yeah, no. We agreed it wasn’t really the right match,” he shrugs and shoots Eddie that handsome, boyish smile. “I guess I really am not meant for T.K.s, hm?”
No, more like E.D ., Eddie thinks. "Maybe a good rule of thumb to avoid."
Harper was okay , Eddie supposes. They were a tattoo artist that Buck met when he went for some fresh ink. The two of them had clicked immediately—Eddie happened to be with Buck because he had asked Buck to help pick up some furniture he’d purchased for Christopher—a new desk and desk chair for his teen son and his consistently evolving gaming set up. This was an upgrade from the wooden desk he’d gotten from a garage sale years back.
Buck, of course, had been happy to help with the caveat that he needed to get to his two o’clock tattoo appointment, leaving them no time to drop the stuff or Eddie off at home. Eddie wasn’t complaining for more time with Buck.
“I gotta say—you’re a stellar customer,” Harper commended, wiping away excess ink from the inner arm tattoo Buck had chosen. "Nice to not have a wiggler."
“Yeah? You get a lot of movers and shakers?”
“More than I’d like, that’s for sure,” they said with a shake of their head. “It’s fine, though. Most people wouldn’t understand that it’s like if I went and moved around the piece of paper they were drawing on.”
“Well, if it’s any comfort, you have a very soft touch,” Buck complimented, the two of them sharing a smile and a laugh. Eddie couldn’t help the tightening in his stomach. He watches from behind a magazine as the two continue to banter, Harper’s hand softly landing on Buck’s forearms at times and Buck’s eyes locked on Harper’s when they spoke.
“Hey, Buck,” he interrupts before he even realizes he’s speaking. “I’m gonna go get some air.”
“Sure, Eddie. You feeling okay?” Eddie wordlessly raises his hand to dismiss his worries, smiling tightly. This was enough for Buck, who nods back and smiles.
Once outside, Eddie was decidedly not okay. He finds a garbage can along the sidewalk and empties his lunch into it, much to the dismay of the passerby’s around him. His pride takes a hit, but he’ll just have to own it.
It’s one thing, he realizes, to be aware of Buck dating other people. That, he could stomach. But to watch it like a cuck in the corner chair, was not something he could handle. He employs methods he's learned in therapy to reduce his anxiety, but it only goes so far to calm his frazzled nerves. He still felt a little lightheaded and overheated, so he finds an adjacent juice bar to cool off in. It was nearing a hundred degrees in L.A. today, and his internal temperature was competing.
“Welcome to Worth the Squeeze,” the worker had chirped as Eddie entered. He responds with a half-hearted wave and nod with a quiet greeting. Thankfully, there were a few other patrons in line, so Eddie didn’t feel pressured to rush, parking himself in front of the menu on the wall.
It was easy to pick for himself—a piña colada, sans alcohol, of course—and he knew Christopher was on a dragonfruit kick these days, so Dragon’s Horde was perfect. Then, naturally, his mind drifts to Buck and what Buck would like. And absolutely not in the “thanks for helping me pick up furniture” way—in the “you’re part of our family, of course I think of what juice you want when I’m buying” way. He spots a spirulina infused drink that reminds him of two things: Buck’s beautiful eyes and an info dump about the health factors of spirulina, that he was more than happy to listen to.
Once satisfied, he orders and pays. "That's going to be fifteen bucks," the cashier mentioned, and Eddie had to internally laugh at the phrase. With juices in hand, he heads back to the tattoo parlor, steeling himself. He returns to the two of them still chattering away, the piece on Buck’s arm about ninety-percent done by the looks of it. He rejoins their bubble just in time to hear Harper talking about a tattoo expo happening that they needed more models for. When he approaches, it’s almost as if Buck forgets there are other people in the room. Point, Diaz.
“Oh hey, there you are! I was wondering if I needed to go search for ya,” Buck said earnestly. Eddie waves him off and chuckles.
“No need for the search party, Buckley. I was just grabbing us some juice,” he chides gently. “Did you want yours now? I was going to go sit in the truck with the A/C on so Chris’ doesn’t melt too fast,” he holds Buck’s blue drink towards him, and sunshine emanates in rays from him.
“Spirulina?”
“Well, yeah. I listen to you, you know,” he smiles, letting Buck take the drink, noticing every millimeter of skin that touches his own, almost like they were holding hands with the cup in between.
“Thanks, Eddie. You’re the best.”
Eddie doesn’t have time to soak that in because the feeling of Harper’s eyes, albeit their gaze was kind, was scratching at him. “Could I have the keys?”
“Oh, yeah, of course,” Buck reaches down and retrieves the keys from his pocket, and Eddie holds them tight in his palm, loving the warmth and imaging this to be how it feels to hold him close.
“We’re not going to be much longer,” Harper supplies with a smile, and Eddie returns one back, telling Buck he’ll wait in the truck and turning to take his leave.
In twenty minutes, Eddie happens to doze off. The truck’s air conditioning was on, and his phone was connected to the truck’s wireless CarPlay, some Nickelback playing on low volume. The day’s activities and emotions catching up to him, he finds himself nodding off against the glass of the passenger side window. He was dreaming—nothing too complex—just him, Buck, and Christopher at the beach. Just them, casual and relaxed, soaking in sun and sea breeze and quiet discussion between them while Chris is near the water. With his adolescence comes wisdom, and now he builds in the sand, rather than simply playing. Buck looks at him with such pride it makes Eddie’s chest bloom. It's not lost to him how important Buck is in their lives, and he hopes Buck knows too. In the same token, he hopes Buck doesn't feel pressured to play a larger part than he would like.
Rapid knocks against the window that his head was resting on startles him right out of the dream, heart racing. When he looks out, Buck is smiling brightly and waving, his forearm covered in SecondSkin to protect the fresh ink. Eddie rubs his bleary eyes, clicking the locks to grant Buck access.
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Buck teases as he gets into the driver’s seat. “Sorry to wake you, but my back was getting sweaty from standing out there.”
“Huh? How long were you out there?”
“Uh, maybe like five minutes?” Buck ponders, punctuated by the click of his seatbelt.
“Buck, why didn’t you wake me earlier?!”
“I didn’t want to disrupt you!” He volleys back, grin on his lips.
“You are something else,” his tone is soft when admonishing Buck. He can’t remove the layer of fondness he always has for him. “Ink looks good,” he looks at how the sharp lines and shading bring a geometric wolf head to life.
“Right? Harper did a great job. Might have to come back for more when the itch comes back.”
“You don’t have to get a tattoo every time you want to see them, you know,” Eddie chuckles, nudging Buck’s arm. It makes the other blush, which Eddie likes, no matter how much it kills him to send Buck to other people.
“You know,” Buck starts, arm on the back of Eddie’s headrest as he backs out of the parking stall. “Funny story about that.”
“What happened?”
“When you left to come take your beauty sleep, I think…I think Harper got the idea that you and I were together,” Buck says, his tone laced with an incredulous edge to it. Like it was unbelievable. And that hurt, just a little.
“O-Oh, how’d they come to that conclusion?”
“I think just you being your thoughtful self—the juice, the being with me and helping me pick a tattoo out, then Harper asked about Christopher and I couldn’t stop about how great of a kid he is and how lucky I am to be part of his life, which turned into both of your lives,” Eddie was gobsmacked—of course that’s how it sounded to Harper—Buck had blurred the lines of their relationship. Eddie was curious if it was on purpose, or if that’s really just how Buck sees them. “They apologized for flirting with me ‘cause they didn’t realize I was taken,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “Crazy.”
“Yeah, crazy,” Eddie bites his lip and tries not to feel too hurt. After all, it’s his own fault Buck doesn’t think they could ever have a chance. Though, is it fair to say they would if Eddie comes out? Like Buck’s just waiting for him? There’s the very real possibility that he tells Buck his true feelings and he doesn’t feel the same way. “Hey, why don’t you go to that expo and be a model for them? Then you can clear the air.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Buck doesn’t end up going—there happens to be a video game release that Christopher wanted to go to. Eddie was on shift, which meant Buck dropped everything to wait in line for Christopher, even when Eddie insisted he would find someone else to go so he could go to the tattoo expo.
“If you think I’m letting Chris get ahead of me in this game, you’re sorely mistaken, Eddie,” he said with a proud puff of his chest, determination in his brow.
Eddie doesn’t push further.
Eddie outright despises Elijah. Buck had met him on a call, and at first, the guy seemed just like all of Buck’s love interests—decent people who Eddie hated for factors beyond their control, such as merely existing. When they first went on dates, Buck would have good updates and seemed to be having fun. As time wore on, Buck’s smiles became tighter, and he looked tired at work. He used to exude light when he smiles, becoming the personification of the ‘lighting up a room’ cliche. Now, that light has dulled. And the only thing that’s changed is a 5’10” finance bro named Elijah.
He would fake reasons, Eddie knew, for the change in his demeanor, but Eddie didn’t want to press too hard. They had the type of relationship where they knew the other would share when the time was right, while also still having a point where they could both call bullshit and pry a little further. Usually, the prying results in them opening up. The prying with the Elijah situation led to Buck blowing up at him in a way Eddie never expected. It scared him—looking into the eyes of a man he didn’t fully recognize.
“Buck…” he remembers muttering, watching as the look on Buck’s eyes went from anger to sorrow, a quiet apology being thrown out before the man was running down the stairs, leaving his stunned team looking on. Eddie looks back to Bobby, Hen, Chim and Ravi all looking at him, expecting him to have answers he didn’t have.
Bobby spoke to Buck, and they mutually agreed that Buck should head home for the day. Eddie hated not knowing what was going on in general, but more so when it comes to Buck. He’s never snapped at Eddie like that, and while it didn’t make him feel good, Eddie was more worried about Buck than himself.
He couldn’t sleep—it was almost midnight and he couldn’t rest because Buck hadn’t texted him back. He just needed to know he was okay—six hours was too long, especially when their last interaction happened the way it did.
A knock at his front door almost had him greeting the Grim Reaper. A pit in his stomach forms immediately and it’s with a furrowed brow that he’s jogging to the door, hoping and praying that he doesn’t see flashes of blue and red. He completely bypasses the peephole and swings the door open, as wide as his eyes.
“Buck!”
“Can I come in?” He sounds so broken . Eddie steps aside and lets him find his spot on the couch. Eddie knows this is a critical point in their friendship. Buck is obviously not doing well, and Eddie needs to be support.
“I will kill someone for you. I mean, if I had to. If he hurt you in any way, I would.” It lingers in the air, the silence thick for a second, and Eddie thinks ‘oh, I’ve royally fucked up’. That is, until he hears Buck’s laughter break the air between them. It is then, and only then, that Eddie feels his shoulders relax.
“Come, sit,” Buck pats the seat beside him, sniffling.
“Buck, please tell me what I can do to help,” Eddie pleads, Bucks hands in his and giving—hopefully—soothing rubs to the backs with his thumb.
“Nothing. Certainly not murder, but good to know,” he teases lightheartedly, which should irritate Eddie, but he wants to know more. Though, he supposes, it’s a good sign that Buck can joke. “ I just broke up with Elijah. It was going down a dark path and I needed to pull myself out of it,” he pauses and his lip quivers. “I got so scared, Eddie.”
“Did he hurt you?” Buck’s silence is enough. He’s not going to pry further—he knows this is something that Buck is no stranger to by way of Maddie, and Eddie would also venture to guess that there’s a reason why Buck is here instead of his sister’s.
“I told him if I ever saw him again, I know a sergeant in the LAPD. I think it spooked him.”
“What do you need from me? Anything?” He’s doing what he always does when he’s nervous, which is biting his lower lip. He can tell because Buck’s eyes drop their gaze to his lips, and he uses his thumb to pull down on Eddie’s chin to release them with a smile.
“I didn’t want to be alone at the loft is all. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“You were interrupting me worrying about you,” he says softly, smiling.
“I’m sorry, and I’m sorry for blowing up at you at work. I—“
“Stop. You don’t need to apologize. I’m just glad you’re okay now.”
An appreciative nod is sent his way before they both pause. Moments later, a silent agreement is reached, and they hug each other tight, grounding one another.
Somewhere along the way, they become housemates. Buck receives notice from his landlord that a flood on the upper levels had affected the structure and that he was going to be displaced due to repairs—a month for sure, maybe more. It was a no-brainer for Eddie to argue every point Buck had about why he shouldn’t move in, and replaced them all with why he should. He relents eventually, and Eddie hears from a little birdie that this set up was probably Buck’s first option anyway, no matter how much he tried to dispute it. So, the Diaz boys are living with Evan Buckley, and it’s the best thing ever.
Until Buck starts to date again.
Don’t get Eddie wrong—he’s over the moon that Buck is in a better place after his last relationship. He knows Buck put in the work too—mindfulness has been a pillar for him in taking care of himself after that event, and Eddie is so so so proud. He’s hesitant when Buck comes home, excited after he meets a girl at the farmer’s market and tells him about how great she is. He’s tight lipped as he lets Buck completely burst with excitement about her. She must be really great for him to be this excited.
So, when Buck asks if it’s okay if she comes over for a date, Eddie nods his head and says yes, decidedly ignoring Hen’s questioning looks from across the table.
The fated night comes, and Eddie has tried asking anyone and everyone if they wanted to do something so he didn’t have to be at home when Jenessa came over for their date. Unfortunately, not a single person was free, leaving Eddie plan-less for the night. He supposed he could’ve tried to find another thing to do solo, but whenever he suggested it, Buck just pouted and talked about how much he wanted Eddie to try the pizza recipe he had prepped for him specifically. He was unsure why he even had a place in Buck’s date plan. So now, he was a captive in his own home.
Buck looked handsome as ever in a long sleeve Henley with the sleeves rolled up, excitement all over his features.
“Okay, I think I’ve got everything I need,” he mulls, arms full of chips, cookies and other snacks. “I am out of your hair.”
“I told you you don’t have to do that, Eddie—I don’t want to trap you in the bedroom.”
“No, it’s not a trap,” he says smugly. “It’s a sanctuary where I can watch trashy TV and eat junk.”
“You could just join us too, you know.”
Eddie blinks at him, thoroughly confused. “Buck, I am not crashing your date,” he scoffs. It’s absurd—why would he want to watch them all cute with each other? They’re probably gonna laugh and play with ingredients and toss them onto each other. It should be Eddie cleaning flour off of Buck’s cheek, not stupid Jenessa. “Really, I’ll be fine.”
“Suit yourself. I’ll let you know when pizza’s ready?”
“Sure, thanks,” he tries to make his leave. He knows what it looks like externally—their friends have jabbed at them before. He knows what he and Buck have are not normal in friendship terms. But still, being invited to be part of Buck’s date? Unless this was a foray into polyamory, Eddie wasn’t sure he was following.
He sighs as he kicks the door to his bedroom gently shut, setting all of his stuff on the nightstand before sitting himself down with his laptop open to a streaming service. He rubs his hands together excitedly as he scrolls through his options, turning on a New Housewives franchise that he would deny knowing if asked. He’s about ten minutes into the episode when he hears the door open and Buck’s voice welcome his guest in. Eddie rolls his eyes and continues to munch on his snacks, watching as people with too much money and too little to do make fools of themselves. Its ten minutes later that he realizes he forgot to get any sort of beverage to wash down the scratch in his throat brought on by salt.
“Oh, damnit,” he mulls, looking around and trying to see if he’d left anything—a stale glass of water, even. No such luck has him realizing he’s going to have to go back to the kitchen or try and get something delivered. Not wanting to spend an arm and a leg on a bottle of water, he decided to put his big boy pants on and just go to the kitchen.
“ Hey! Watch where you’re saucin ’,” he hears Buck say in an exaggerated New York accent as he approaches the kitchen. It charms and disgusts him at the same time. He peeks in to see the two of them pecking each other’s lips, red tomato sauce streaked on his cheek. It should be Eddie cleaning tomato sauce off of Buck’s cheek, not stupid Jenessa.
Eddie clears his throat, opening the fridge open and swerving the pop can he was aiming for to claw two bottles of beer, trying to pronounce the clink more than usual. He’s acting weird, and he knows he needs to quit it, but he’s gone too far now.
“Oh hey, Ed—“
“I’m Eddie, sorry didn’t mean to interrupt,” he says abruptly. He easily notices the confusion on Buck’s face from his abrupt tone.
“Did you want to—“ Janessa begins, but Eddie raises a hand to stop her.
“No, I’m good. I’m just gonna…take this back to my room,” he says abruptly. Hating the furrow in Buck’s brow directed at him. “Have a nice rest of your date.” Before either of them could ask another question, Eddie is back in his room with a sigh as he leans on the back of the door.
BUCK 💪🏻
8:08 PM
Hey are you okay?
8:36
👍🏼
When Buck knocks on the door later after the date ends, Eddie pretends to be asleep.
“Hey, Eddie !” Buck calls out from across the fire station, standing at the open garage door like he was getting ready for a duel in the Wild West.
Hen, Chimney and Ravi all look between one another, confused by the energy emanating from him. It was one of his days off, and while Buck had firefighting imbued in his very essence and bloodstream, he was usually pretty good at staying away from work on his days off.
“Buck, you know he’s only been out of the house for–” Ravi was at the beginning of his quip when Buck stomps past them, towards an annoyed looking Eddie, a frown furrowing his brow as he polishes the ladder truck.
“I mean, they’ve always been in each others’ pockets, but unless we missed something major, them living together doesn’t mean they have to act like an actual married couple.” Hen mutters, her interest piqued.
“Buck, go home.”
“No! You’re being weird and grumpier than usual–”
“I’m not usually grumpy.”
“Not to me –that’s the problem!” Bobby steps to the railing above them after exiting his office, surely overhearing the commotion. He looks down to the trio below, all of whom shrug at him, not fully understanding what was going on.
“What, now I can’t have a bad day? Do I have to tell you every single time my mood changes?”
“It’s not just today –you’ve obviously been pissed off at me since last night.”
Eddie throws his hands up, huffing. “I have not been pissed off at you since last night!”
“Okay, you’re pissed off at my date, then?”
“Buck, I do not care about your date.”
Somewhere in the middle of their bickering, Chim’s ears perk at the shrill Daddy! coming from his daughter running into the firehouse, visiting her father for lunch with Maddie. “Hey! There’s my girl,” If there was one thing that was going to pull Chimney completely out of the juicy argument transpiring in front of him, it was going to be Jee-Yun. He crouches, catching her as she runs into his arms. “How are you, sweetie?”
“Good! Mama and I just came from the park.”
“Wow, the park! I’m jealous,” Chim smiles as Maddie approaches, and he leans in to give her a quick peck on the lips.
“Yeah, right. You hate when I date other people–all you do is care about my dating life.”
“I don’t care, Buck. Why would I care? You can bring home whoever the hell you want!”
“Oh, you make me sound like some kind of manwhore–”
“I never said that–don’t put words in my mouth!”
Maddie gives her husband an inquisitive look, which is returned with an exasperated shrug. “What are those two doing?" she asks, jaw a little slack. "I thought Buck was off work today–I invited him to join us but he said he had something to take care of.”
“No idea,” Chim says, chewing his gum as his attention turns to his two bickering friends. ”Being Buck and Eddie like usual?”
“Buck got here about five minutes ago and they just started going at it,” Hen supplied.
Eddie throws the rag roughly onto the truck’s fender, crossing his arms. “I don’t know what you want from me–”
“I want you to tell me why you’re so upset–two days ago you said Jenessa was cool and last night you’re icing us both out.”
“I don’t know Jenessa–it’s your first date! I’m sorry I wasn’t being the host you’d like me to be for a stranger in our home. I was trying to give you guys space and privacy while you guys had ‘pizza night’,” he probably didn’t need to add a mocking tone to the end, but emotions were flying high while tact was taking a nosedive.
“Oh, that’s really mature,” Buck bit back. They were going at it in a way no one has quite seen the two of them go at it, as entertaining as it was, their friends really weren't very sure how to manage this.
The sound of heavy footsteps pique the attention of the onlookers. “Cap’s coming down,” Ravi warns quietly.
Before Bobby could make it all the way down, a flash of brown hair steps past the trio hastily. Even through her rubber soled shoes, her shockwaves could be felt–Maddie Han had had enough, and was on a mission. She was rolling her sleeves up, approaching the two of them until her palms were laying flat on her brother’s back and giving him a hard shove. "For God's sake, Buck," It sends him right into Eddie, his arms pressed against the polished scarlet, bracketing Eddie’s head on either side.
They were impossibly close, their breaths mingling and eyes wide as they stared deeply into one another’s gaze. They both make noises of surprise as pink fills their cheeks, but a magnetic force keeps their eyes locked on one another, impossible to break. Taken ninety-nine percent of the way there, Eddie closes the gap with a hand on the back of Buck’s neck. It’s chaste at first, just lips pressed together, but Buck quickly falls into it, a hand shifting to cup Eddie’s face. Entry is allowed quickly, and neither is sure who asks and who grants, but it doesn’t matter. There’s a quiet surprise in the air around them, their colleagues all watching it transpire in a flash, many of them with smiles on their face while others looked more relieved than anything.
Spinning on her heel and proud of her accomplishment, Maddie smiles as she dusts her hands and returns to where Chim was standing and hikes her discarded bag onto her free shoulder and takes Jee-Yun into her arms. “Well, that takes care of that. We’ll see you guys with lunch upstairs, hm?” Chim grins proudly at her, nodding as Hen and Ravi pat her on the back. She makes her way upstairs, passing an amused Bobby, who nods appreciatively at her. “Between you and me, I’m surprised I lasted this long without knocking their heads together,” she looks behind her, then back to Bobby, rolling her eyes. “Almost literally.”
The two men were still borderline making out against the truck as Bobby laughs, making his way down. “Buck. Eddie. You guys are still at a workplace.”
Buck and Eddie were quick to separate, Buck wiping his mouth with his sleeve as Eddie ran his hand through his hair, clearing his throat as he stood pin-straight. “Yes, Cap, sorry about that.”
Bobby tries his best to look stern, but the sounds of giggling from his 5 o’clock has him wavering pretty quickly. “I mean it,” he clears his throat. “I’m happy for you two for finally getting it. And I will do everything you guys need to make sure your work life supports you both. I trust you two are going to be just as good on the field as you have been, maybe even better, but you two need to be professional when you’re at work. Am I clear?”
“Y-Yeah, Cap,” Buck says, barely above a mutter as he stares at Eddie with a blush on his cheeks and a loving smile on his lips.
“Yes, Cap. Thank you, and sorry again. We will keep it professional from now on.”
Bobby nods, serious at first before he’s smiling. “Buck, go help your sister get lunch set up. Ravi, come help Eddie with the truck so he can wrap this up.”
Buck nods, but doesn’t go upstairs until he can reach over and squeeze Eddie’s hand, who finally relaxes and smiles softly at him, squeezing back. “I’ll see you up there.”
“Yeah, save a seat for me,” He loves the cute smile, blush and nod triple combo that Buck sends his way, loving that it was truly meant for him now. Eddie turns back to the truck, picking up where he left off before he was thoroughly distracted.
Ravi chuckles when he comes up beside Eddie, picking up a rag. “Well that was…unexpected.”
“Hah, yeah,” he was smiling dopily, looking at his love-drunk gaze in the reflection. “Hey, what do you think Cap meant by us ‘finally getting it’?”
Ravi tilts his head at Eddie, emphasizing his lack of a response for a beat. “ Dude .”
At 5:30 PM on the dot, Eddie exits the fire station with his street clothes on and his bag over his shoulder. He was looking at his phone, rolling his eyes at the teasing texts from Karen and Maddie that have found their way onto his home screen. He was now committed to his grandmother’s pozole at their next gathering as his ‘thanks’ to Maddie–a commitment he was more than happy to make, along with another he’s made today.
The sound of Buck clearing his throat startles Eddie, but when he looks up, there he is–all 6’2” of the man he’s been steadily falling in love with for eight years, standing in front of his truck with a bouquet of flowers.
“Buck, what are you doing?” he can’t contain the absolute grin that breaks out as he’s handed the flowers. He brings them to his nose as he looks past them.
“Well, ideally, asking you on a date. Would you…be open to letting me take you out sometime?”
Eddie shakes his head, chuckling into the petals. “Buck, come on–we live in the same house. We co-parent a teenager. I haven’t gone a day without thinking about you in the last eight years. I don’t think you need to woo me.”
“Asking you out is not about wooing you. You’re right–and I feel the exact same way,” he comes closer so they’re once again just a step apart, this time on his own volition. “It’s about taking you out and treating you right–treating you like you deserve.”
Eddie blushes at that, ducking a bit further into the flowers for a second before dropping them to his side. He has never needed to hide from Buck before, and he’s not going to do it now. “Okay. But remember I know what you’ve done for the last ten first dates–I’m expecting something fresh.” he winks as Buck stares at him, dumbfounded at first then amused.
“Only the best for you, sweetheart.”
Eddie wraps his arm around Buck’s neck pulling him into another kiss, and how perfect they fit together should be studied. “Not tonight though–I think we have a really important conversation to have with Christopher.”
Buck nods as his hands settle on Eddie’s waist, lips pressing quickly to his forehead. “We sure do. I’ll pick up take out on the way?”
“I’ll see you at home, sweetheart.”
“Ooh, I like that, Eddie. Careful, I’m about to be insufferable. Clingiest boyfriend ever.”
“Don’t put up a challenge if you’re not playing to win, Buckley–’cause the competition,” he points to himself and shoots the other a quick wink. “Is going for the title.”
“Oh my God,” Buck laughs, shaking his head. “You are my dream man.”
“Right back at you, sweetheart ,” Eddie pulls him into a hug, kissing his neck. “Okay, let’s get going. I have a boyfriend to cuddle with,” pausing, they grin at one another. “Never thought I’d say that.”
“I already love being your boyfriend.”
They share one last peck, Buck blindly flipping the bird when he hears their colleagues whooping from a distance. He wasn’t even sure who was standing there–if Bobby happened to be there, he would take any punishment to have this. Buck gets in his truck, and Eddie into his Prius and two vehicles peel out of the parking lot, encasing two hearts beating in sync heading back to a shared home and a forever family.
The next morning, they wake up lazily entwined in each other’s arms. Lips are slowly and languidly melding together, fingers clutching against bare skin. They were in no rush, this day being theirs to do whatever they pleased. Soon, they–probably more likely Buck–would get up and get breakfast going. Eddie would maybe turn some music on in the living room and get some candles lit. It was supposed to be a cleaning day, and they had the option to follow through or to laze about. After all, it’s day one of their new era. They could do whatever they wanted to.
“Mmh,” Eddie murmurs, hands running up and down the expanse of Buck’s back as they lazily make out under the sheets. They’re only taking a break, he knows–the human need for oxygen proving to be an annoyance more than anything. Their eyes, still bleary with sleep, seek one another out in the low morning light. “Good morning.”
“Best morning,” Buck replies, his handsome smile brightening Eddie’s world immediately. His warmth, his scent–it’s all encasing Eddie in a cocoon of domestic bliss he never wants to be let out of. “How’d you sleep?”
“Best sleep I’ve had in ages,” Eddie rests his forehead against Buck’s. “You?”
“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Buck’s hands find Eddie’s bottom, squeezing him over his sleep shorts and pulling him close. Eddie squeals happily, burying his face in Buck’s neck and wrapping his arms around the other’s torso.
“And I do love your mouth,” he teases, kissing Buck’s neck and enjoying the slight shiver he feels run through the other man.
“You haven’t even seen the beginning of what my mouth can do.”
“I look forward to it,” Eddie says with a laugh. “But we do have to give Christopher the kindness to make sure he isn’t home when we start doing…stuff.”
Buck pouts and lets out a whiny noise from the back of his throat. “I can be quiet.”
“I don’t think I can, is the problem,” Eddie responds with a fond lilt of his voice. His fingers find themselves in Buck’s hair, scratching circles into his scalp. “Listen, I already love kissing you, and I didn’t realize one could love kissing. I thought it was just…a thing people did. I’m borderline scared of how I’m going to react when you start touching me.”
Buck accepts that, chuckling into Eddie’s neck and shoulder, a shiver that matches Buck’s earlier one now running through him. “Okay, okay. You have a point. I don’t want you to have to try and be quiet. I wanna hear every last sound that you can make,” when Buck’s big hand squeezes his ass again–a luxury he will allow the other man–Eddie squeaks and hates how much he loves the feeling.
Eddie continues to let the other man fondle him, letting himself completely come apart at the feeling of warm lips on his neck. He sighs breathily when he feels the soft nip of teeth and laments the moment they disappear. “Mm, why’d you stop?”
“I have a question for you,” Buck murmurs, barely backing up.
“Oh, are we at that stage yet?” Eddie teases, chuckling sheepishly and loving the blush and shy smile combination on the other’s face.
“No, because when I propose, you’re going to know,” Eddie grins and nods, his fingers playing with the hair at the back of Buck’s head, encouraging him to continue. “Why did you keep sending me out with those people I was meeting? You know you could’ve said no and I would’ve followed in a heartbeat, right?”
Eddie swallows thickly, unprepared for that particular question. “Well, that sounds like I would be taking advantage of you. I didn’t wanna do that, and I wanted you to be happy, you know? Whatever or whoever that means.”
Buck is quiet, thoughtful, and cutely pouting when Eddie garners the courage to look at him again. “I mean, that’s you. You make me happy.”
His skin feels too hot all of the sudden, tendrils of self-doubt licking at his very core. Even through his therapy work and self-care, he can’t help the cloying thoughts sometimes. “I don’t know, Buck. I don’t see myself as someone who makes people happy, really. Not in the way I would like for you. I’m…complicated. But I’ll try, I promise I’ll try.”
Buck’s blue eyes are teary and Eddie is almost apologizing when Buck closes the gap between their lips once more, and Eddie is left breathless at how a kiss could be both passionate and feather-soft.
“You don’t need to try at all. You have no idea how happy you make me just by existing.”
“Oh, wow,” Eddie laughs wetly. “My boyfriend’s a big sap,” There’s more to say and more to talk about, but for now, they both laugh and Buck kisses him again, and this time Eddie is prepared to reciprocate. He was about to tease Buck further when both of their phones beep simultaneously, both set on the nightstand behind Buck. “Don’t roll over, I got it,” Eddie reaches over the other man, grabbing one of the devices as Buck’s arms shift to wrap around his torso, keeping him in the warm embrace. “God damnit,” he grumbles.
“What is it?”
“Hen just sent a meme to the group chat. ‘ Congratulations to Buck and Eddie, the last two people to find out that they’re dating ’, heart emoji.” Bright, beautiful laughter erupts from the man underneath him, and Eddie can’t even stay grumpy. He locks his phone and sets it back on the nightstand before joining Buck, happy to kiss him quiet.