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Lily flinched at the way the door slammed, fingers clenched tight around her cigarette. The entire room was deadly silent, Polly and Tommy glaring at each other from opposite sides of the kitchen table. Like two wolves about to tear each other to ribbons.
It had all gone about as well as she had expected, honestly.
The second Polly walked into the kitchen and saw Grace sitting there, the shouting had begun. And that didn’t even compare to the way Polly reacted when she realized that Grace was pregnant.
The shouting went on for a solid twenty minutes. Mostly between Tommy and Polly while Lily and Grace sat at the table and shared awkward, if somewhat annoyed looks with one another. It was when Grace finally had enough and rose from the table to defend herself that things got truly ugly.
Lily’s eyes darted back to the door Grace just stormed out of, wondering if she should either follow her or leave her to herself for a little while.
Each of Tommy’s footsteps were louder than thunder as he strode across the kitchen, until he was towering over Polly, face dark and terrifying.
“You can either accept Grace and my child with her,” he said, simply, “or you can pack your bags and get on the first train out of Birmingham.” His eyes were colder than ice. “It’s your choice.” His black coat whirled as he spun on his heel, storming out the same door Grace left through a moment ago. Polly just stared straight ahead, face frozen in an expression of rage and genuine shock. Cocking her head, Lily tapped ash from her cigarette into the ashtray in the center of the table. For a long time, there was nothing but silence, save for the ticking of the clock on the wall.
“And you’re just fine with all of this?” Polly said to her. Lily raised an eyebrow.
“That’s surprising?”
“The man you love is having a child with another woman. And he’s planning to marry her. I would imagine that’s been cause for quite a bit of disruption regarding your relationship with him.”
“Why would it be?”
Polly stared at her in disbelief before letting out an incredulous scoff. “So you and him just intend to carry on like you have been?”
“Me, him, and her,” Lily corrected.
“What, all three of you? Together?” Polly seemed more than a little incensed at the idea.
“Is it really that shocking?”
“And you are all happy with that arrangement?”
“Yes.”
“Even her?”
“Can’t even say her name, can you? Of course Grace is happy with it. I doubt she would have stuck around if she wasn’t.” Taking a drag from her cigarette, she watched Polly pace to the window, bracing her hands against the windowsill, steam practically rising from her ears. “I never thought that there would be someone who you would hate more than me.”
“At least you’ve never betrayed him,” Polly seethed. “She comes in here, she fucks everything up, and now she thinks that she can just waltz back in and we’ll act as though nothing ever happened?”
“Tommy’s forgiven her. I’ve forgiven her. What more do you want?”
Polly didn’t respond. Lily sighed, tilting her head back.
“The betrayal wasn’t personal, Polly. She was just doing her job. And she saved us both from Campbell, remember? She didn’t have to, but she did.”
She could all but hear Polly grinding her teeth, watching the way that her knuckles turned white where she clutched tightly to the windowsill.
“Look,” putting out her cigarette, she rose from her chair, “you don’t have to like her. You don’t even really have to accept her. But she’s having Tommy’s baby. They’re getting married. She’s going to be a part of his life and a part of this family. You have to find a way to live with that.”
“For fuck’s sake.” She turned to stare back at Lily. “And how the hell am I supposed to do that?”
Lily looked at her levelly. “The same way that you’ve managed to stomach my presence in his life all these years, I suppose.”
Polly had no answer to that.
“If you don’t,” Lily continued, shrugging, “you’ll lose him. Forever.”
* * *
Grace leaned against the railing of the bridge, looking out over the water of the cut below. Her stomach was tied into knots.
It had been a hard couple of days. Perhaps some of the worst of her life.
The discussion with Clive alone was awful enough. Worst of all that he didn’t even seem angry with her about any of it. Instead he had just looked at her with this sorrowful, desolate expression.
“Do you love him?” he asked her, and when she answered that yes, yes she did, she saw something break inside of him at her words. It would have probably hurt him less if she had pulled out a razor and cut him with it.
She should have known better than to leave him alone after that. Even if he didn’t want to be in the same room as her, she could have asked a maid to keep an eye on him.
But she’d left him alone, because at the time she figured that her presence would only hurt him more. And then the next time she saw him, he was hanging from the rafters, at the end of a makeshift noose he’d made with his belt.
Grace doubted she would ever forget the way that his body hit the ground with a dull thud when the knot finally gave way.
Her fault. All her fault.
All he had ever done was be kind to her and love her, and all she had done in return was betray him in one of the most terrible ways imaginable.
Tommy and Lily had been utterly lovely in the time since. Doting on her every chance they got. And they had a plan in place, now. It would involve passing off the baby she was having with Tommy as Clive’s, claiming that she got pregnant just before his death. They would give it a year or two before they would actually marry. Enough time for it to appear to her family and the public that she had recovered from her grief and that Tommy had been courting her. His family would know the truth, of course. They were more likely to be less bothered by it, anyway.
An image of Polly’s snarling face flashed across her mind, and Grace buried her face in her hands.
“There you are,” came a voice, and she just about jumped out of her skin. Lily had her hands stuffed in her pockets, head tilting as she approached her. “We’ve been looking for you.”
Swallowing, Grace glanced back at the water. “Sorry.”
Lily shrugged. “It’s alright. We just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Glancing around the bridge, she smiled. “I made my deal with Tommy that brought me into the Blinders on a bridge like this.”
“You did?”
“Mhm.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned her back against the railing beside her, giving Grace that look that meant she expected her to start talking.
“She’s never going to accept me,” Grace sighed. Not that it was really a surprise. She probably should be grateful that Polly hadn’t tried to flat out kill her. But it still stung.
“She’s never really accepted me either. Once Polly’s made up her mind about someone, it’s almost impossible to change it. She might fight tooth and nail for a little while, trying to undermine you, or subtly push you out, but it’ll pass.” She cracked a humorless smile. “And then it’ll just be the silent treatment, subtle jabs, and maybe an occasional blow up if she’s already particularly upset about something.”
Grace frowned, and Lily cocked her head.
“Or maybe not. She might play a bit nicer with you. On account of the baby.”
“You really think she’ll try to push me out?”
“She can try as much as she wants. Tommy won’t let her. She’s been trying to get me shoved out of the family since the day I arrived and hasn’t had much luck so far.” She reached out to take Grace’s hand. “Your place in the family is secure. Probably even more than mine because of the baby. So no need to worry about that.”
Grace gave her a watery smile. Lily nudged her affectionately before glancing forward again, towards the factories in the distance.
“It’s a shitty feeling, though. To know that you’ll never really belong. No matter how much Tommy tries. He can make them tolerate us. But not like us. There are times when I still feel like I’m standing outside in the cold, looking at them all huddled together through a window. It gets lonely.”
“Well,” Grace inched closer to her, “at least we’re now both outside looking in.” She laid her head on Lily’s shoulder. “I’ll keep you company.”
Lily wrapped her arm around her shoulders, smiling. “Thanks.”
Grace tilted her head, watching the way Lily’s eyelashes fluttered every time that she blinked. She was very pretty.
“He’s never failed to defend me from her, you know. She’s his aunt. He loves her. And he needs her for the company. But he’s always done his best to shield me from her and her hatred.” She glanced back down at her. “So don’t be afraid to tell either of us if she’s giving you problems.”
Grace nodded. “Okay.”
Lily kissed her forehead, rocking them both very slightly with the arm she had around Grace. Both of them were quiet for a long while.
“We should get back home. Tommy will be worried.” Lily gave Grace’s shoulder one last squeeze before loosening her grip on her. She took her hand instead, letting her guide the way through the darkening streets of Small Heath back towards their apartment.
“Hey,” Grace started to say as Lily dug around in her pocket for her keys. The redhead looked up with a quirked, curious eyebrow. Grace blew out a deep breath of air, unsure of how exactly to put what she wanted to say into words. “Thanks,” she finally said. It felt like too little, considering everything that she wanted to tell her, but it was the best she could manage.
Lily smiled, and she knew that she understood. “Of course.”