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Lexa is nervous. Lexa always gets nervous. This is by nobody’s standards a big crowd, just a small bar in a tiny college town, no more than a hundred people if she's lucky.
But still.
Lexa is acutely aware that every time she performs it could either be the start of something amazing, or the very last time she’s ever on stage.
There’s three other people performing tonight, and despite knowing there's a chance some of the crowd could be her fans, she beings to doubt herself.
Nobody's even here for you.
Lexa tries to shake the familiar feelings creeping in, making her way to the bar and ordering a beer. She drops a few dollars on the bar and her drink is slid towards her. As an afterthought she snaps a picture of the drink, and posts it to her Instagram with the caption, “Can’t wait to get on stage at the Grounders bar tonight!”.
—
"Holy shit."
"What, Clarke?" Octavia mumbles from her place on the other couch. “Ow, what the fuck Clarke?” She exclaims, more angrily this time, as Clarke tosses her phone across the room to her.
"Look!"
“What am I looking at?”
“It’s Lexa Woods’ Instagram. She’s performing. On campus. Tonight!”
“Okay, and?”
“O, come on! You know I’ve been obsessed with her music for ages.”
“Just her music Clarke?” Raven calls from the kitchen.
“Shut up, Reyes. I love her music. She just happens to be easy on the eyes too.” Raven laughs as she makes her way to join the two girls in the living room.
“So can we go?”
“Clarke, even if we say no I’m pretty sure you’ll go anyway,” Clarke nods, that’s probably exactly what would happen, “and I’d rather not have you wandering the streets alone at night.”
“Thanks Raven, you're the best! O, you in?”
Octavia looks between the two excited faces for a minute, before sighing. “Yeah, okay, I’m in.”
—
The bar isn’t busy when the first performer takes to the stage. It’s pretty clear to Lexa that most of the crowd is here for cheap alcohol and not because they’re fans, but the boy is passionate anyway. Lexa orders another drink, nervousness settling in her stomach more intensely than she’s used to. The boy on stage plays an acoustic guitar, blowing his hair out of his eyes between songs, and the crowd seems to like him, cheering when he finishes up.
Lexa makes her way to the side of the stage. She double checks her stage makeup in the front camera of her phone, her warpaint, as she likes to call it, smeared across her eyes and dripping down her cheeks.
Taking a deep breath, she steps up to the microphone.
“My name is Lexa Woods, it’s a pleasure to be here tonight.”
—
Clarke enters the bar, followed closely by Raven and Octavia. She almost feels ill with excitement, as the make their way to the bar for a round of drinks. There's a cute boy with floppy hair on stage singing sweetly.
Clarke thinks it's nice, but it’s not what she's here for.
She feels her heart speed up when the boy finally leaves the stage and she hears the words she's heard in so many youtube videos.
“My name is Lexa Woods, it’s a pleasure to be here tonight.”
Clarke downs her drink, and with a quick explanation thrown to Raven and Octavia, she disappears into the crowd, pushing her way to the front.
—
Lexa gets lost in her music. Once she’s on stage any nerves she had dissipate and it’s like nothing else matters.
Well, most of the time.
Out of the corner of her eye she registers someone pushing to the front of the crowd, lips moving in time with Lexa’s, and suddenly she feels like she might throw up.
She doesn’t, but the sudden rush of nerves terrifies her.
The stage lights are shining brightly in her eyes, so it's difficult to make out the girl in front of her, but Lexa sneaks a glance every chance she gets.
The girl cheers loudly after every song, and Lexa feels more alive performing than she has in a while.
She finishes her set and the lights flare brightly in her eyes before going dark. By the time she's adjusted to the darkness again, the girl has disappeared from the crowd.
—
Clarke feels like she's high.
She feels like her dreams have come true, now that she's finally seen Lexa Woods performing live in person.
She makes her way back to where Octavia and Raven are standing by the bar and tells them this.
Octavia hands her a shot which she takes without questioning.
“Clarke, I saw her come off stage and go into the bathroom. I dare you to go and talk to her.”
The alcohol has Clarke's confidence at an all time high. “Easy. I’ll do it.”
“No, no wait!” Raven chimes in, thrusting a black sharpie in her face “I dare you to get her to sign your boob.”
“What?” Clarke doesn't even begin to question why Raven is carrying a sharpie with her.
“I’ll buy you a shot if you do.” Clarke feels her blood pressure spike at the thought of Lexa Woods actually touching her, even if it's just to sign her, so she doesn't even need the promise of more alcohol to agree. She turns quickly and makes her way towards the bathroom.
She sees Lexa standing by the mirror, removing the last traces of black paint from around her eyes. She wipes her palms on her jeans, takes a deep breath, and approaches her.
“Excuse me, hi.”
Without her stage makeup she looks younger, less commanding and more vulnerable.
“Hi.” She gives Clarke a small smile and turns back to the mirror.
“I’m- uh, I’m a big fan.” That grabs Lexa’s attention again, as she lowers the face wipe to the counter, and Clarke reaches to grab the sharpie Raven shoved in her back pocket. “I was wondering-“ she laughs, suddenly incredibly self conscious about what she’s about to say, “I was wondering if you could sign something for me.”
Lexa’s smile widens, reaching her eyes this time and yeah, Clarke’s even more in love with this woman now that she’s right in front of her. Whoever said never to meet your idols obviously didn’t know what they were talking about.
“Of course. What would you like me to sign?”
—
Lexa’s heart is racing. She realises that the girl in front of her is the same one she saw singing along when she was on stage, the one who made her heart skip, who made this entire night feel worth it. It doesn’t hurt that she’s beautiful too, blonde hair flowing freely and jeans that are entirely too tight. Not that Lexa’s looking.
She shakes herself out of her thoughts to answer the girl.
“Of course. What would you like me to sign?”
She’s expecting a picture or the back of a flyer or something. The same things she’s usually handed on the rare occasions that someone asks.
What she’s not expecting is for the girl in front of her to pull her tank top and bra down so they’re barely covering her nipple, and present her bare chest towards her.
“Um, right here please.” The harsh fluorescent lights of the bathroom illuminate the other girl well enough that Lexa can clearly see she's blushing furiously, yet somehow still maintaining eye contact.
Lexa can’t help herself. She laughs.
—
She’s laughing at her. Clarke’s face is burning hot but she’s nothing if not persistent, so she stands her ground, straightening up to try and appear more confident than she is.
She’s more than aware that she’s embarrassing herself in front of one of the women she admires most in the world.
She’s so focused on not looking embarrassed that she jumps a little when Lexa’s hand gently brushes hers, taking the sharpie and stepping closer, one hand on Clarke’s ribs to steady her. She bites the lid from the pen and Clarke would never admit the way heat began to pool in her stomach at the motion.
“What’s your name?” she asks.
“Clarke. Griffin.”
Lexa simply nods.
The ink is cold when it first touches her skin and Clarke gasps, surprised.
Lexa looks up and smiles, and Clarke feels her hand running gently over her ribs.
—
Lexa steps back to admire her handiwork. This is the first breast she’s ever signed, so she doesn’t want to rush it. Or waste the opportunity.
Clarke’s face is still flushed as she looks down at it.
“What does it say? I can’t read from up here,” She admits.
“Clarke, thanks for coming out to support me, it means the world. Lexa.”
Clarke grins up at her in thanks, and Lexa feels like her chest could explode.
“Can I get you a drink?”
“I think I’m supposed to ask you that,” Clarke quips as she fixes her top.
“Yeah well,” Lexa flashes the id card she has around her neck, “I get a discount for performing. Even if nobody really came for me.”
“I did.”
—
She’s not sure why she said it.
Except that she knows exactly why. This is the most talented person Clarke has ever seen standing in front of her, talking like she doesn’t believe it herself.
“I dragged my friends out here just to see you.”
There’s shock etched over Lexa’s features and she looks nothing like the strong powerful woman Clarke saw on stage.
“Really?”
Clarke nods. “I’ve been watching all of your videos on youtube. You’re amazing. I drive my roommates mad because I only play your music in our house.”
Lexa’s smile is growing every second and Clarke feels like her heart is growing with it.
—
Three years ago Lexa made a mental rule that when she made it big she would never get involved with a fan.
That rule seems like a stupid one now that she actually has a fan.
A beautiful, blonde fan in skintight jeans who genuinely enjoys her music and is standing unnecessarily close to her in the bathroom of some college bar.
A fan who she’s basically gotten to second base with already.
The logical part of her screams to listen to her eighteen year old self, not to do what she’s doing, but a much larger part of her is just saying ‘fuck it’.
You can't live forever.
It feels completely natural when she slides her hand behind Clarke’s neck, pulling her even closer, pausing when their foreheads touch to give Clarke a chance to pull away.
She doesn’t.
Instead her eyes widen with awe, like she can't believe this is happening to her.
Lexa must wait a second too long, because it’s Clarke who finally crashes their lips together, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s waist.
She kisses back quickly, backing Clarke into the sinks and stifling the other girls moan in her mouth.
—
She’s kissing Lexa Woods.
That’s all that runs through Clarke’s mind.
She’s kissing Lexa Woods and she feels like she’s flying.
She worries that maybe it's just a dream, but when Lexa pushes her backwards into the counter, what she feels is very much real. So real, in fact, that she lets out an embarrassing moan, which Lexa quickly swallows.
Lexa’s hands move from her neck to her thighs, wrapping around them and hoisting Clarke onto the counter. Clarke responds by wrapping her legs around Lexa’s back, pulling them even closer together.
She can feel herself getting wetter and for a second she thinks she’s about to have sex with Lexa Woods in the bathroom of a college bar. She’d be lying if she said she minded at all.
The moment is broken by two familiar voices.
“Oh so thats why she’s taken so long.” Raven drawls.
Lexa pulls back, shocked, and Clarke uses it as an opportunity to hop down off the counter, bright red but still grinning.
“Looks like I owe you a drink though.” Raven continues, gesturing towards the writing poking out from Clarke’s tank top.
“I guess we better leave them to it.” Octavia laughs, winking at Clarke before they both disappear as fast as they appeared.
“They have terrible timing,” Clarke laughs.
Lexa is quiet for a moment, and Clarke worries that the mood really is gone until Lexa laughs.
And doesn’t stop laughing.
It doesn’t take long for Clarke to join in, partially at the situation and partially because Lexa’s laugh is probably the loveliest thing she’s ever heard.
When Lexa finally calms down, she’s still smiling and her eyes are bright, and Clarke relaxes.
“So how about that drink?”
—
Lexa wakes the next morning and kisses her name on Clarke’s breast. For a second she doesn’t mind that she mightn’t ever make it big.
For now, this seems like enough.