Chapter Text
Kalego: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.
Balam: Not really. You expected the Misfits to pull off Daleth by freshmen year.
Kalego: They did it, didn't they?
Balam: ...
\o/
Robin: Good news! I didn’t screw up!
Kalego: ...
Robin: I screwed up less badly than usual!
Kalego: ...
Robin: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual.
Kalego: You nearly killed someone's familiar
Robin: But I didn't and nobody saw that
\o/
Eito: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.
The Entire Staff: You summoned Ifrit and reduced the hallways to cinders
Eito: *shrugs* Minor incidents
\o/
Marbas: Murmur, I swear I didn’t know you were coming over. I always ominously clean my torture tools on the coffee table like that. It had nothing to do with you!
Murmur: I'm going to be murdered I'm going to be murdered I'm going to be murdered-
\o/
Suzy: Say no to drugs.
Suzy: Say yes to drugs.
Suzy: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs, cause if you're talking to drugs... then you're on drugs
Dali: Yes, yes you are
\o/
Baal: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.
Atori: We know. We know.
\o/
Robin: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do?
Eito: Please don’t get arrested. The apology letyers we'd have to write would be a pain.
Robin: No promises! :3
Marbas: Why not both? Get creative!
Robin: Wonderful suggestion, thank you.
Orias: Please don’t encourage them, Marbas. Remember the whole spider incident? I don't want to write more letters with you
\o/
Kalego: My ultimate goal is to punch Opera in the eye, just to spite them one last time.
Opera: Hello~
Kalego: I said nothing
\o/
*The Squad is playing Minecraft together*
Robin: Ooh, a village! You know what that means!
Marbas: Hostile takeover?
Eito: Genocide?
Ipos: Steal everything!
Robin: No, I meant-
Orias: I didn’t know we would fight the ender dragon this early! A village worth of beds isn’t enough!
Murmur: WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING?!?!
Robin: …I was going to say move into the village and become the mayors…
Marbas: Ohhhh! That sounds like a better idea.
Eito: Agreed.
\o/
Marbas: BE A BETTER PERSON!
Eito: WHY?!
Marbas: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
\o/
Poro: Okay! Let’s play Kiss Marry Kill!
Poro: First who would you kill?
*Atori points at Kirio*
*Ocho points at Kirio*
*Baal points at Kirio*
Kirio: *shrugs* I would kill me too.
\o/
Marbas: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?
Murmur: All the time.
Marbas: Then you should be used to it by now.
*does some torture hijinks*
\o/
Dali: What goes up but never comes down?
Kalego: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.
Dali: Nobody's stressed but you, Kalego. Right guys?
The Entire Staff: ....
\o/
Eito: I am the most responsible person in the group.
Murmur: …You just set the kitchen on fire.
Eito: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.
\o/
Dali: What are you talking about Balam-sensei? You love it here!
Balam: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.
\o/
Opera: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.
Kalego: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?
Robin: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.
Kalego: Come over here-
*Robin screaming in the background*
\o/
Balam: Did you ever have like a pet run away and find it or anything?
Orias: I had a lizard that I burnt.
Balam:...
\o/
Marbas: I think I mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart.
\o/
*Marbas is shopping with Robin*
Robin: Can I get a silenced pistol?
Marbas: If there’s one on sale.
Store Clerk: *whispers* What did I just hear
\o/
Kalego: Could you be anymore annoying?
Robin: Yes.
\o/
Murmur: Why do you act like we’re three year olds?
Kalego, exasperated: WHY?!?
Kalego points at Marbas: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!
Kalego points at Eito: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!
Kalego points at Robin: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!
Kalego: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????